


Black Leather Collar

by blackimpala



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Slavery, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Physical Abuse, Slave Castiel, Slave Dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-06
Updated: 2015-01-08
Packaged: 2018-01-11 09:55:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 49
Words: 294,982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1171703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackimpala/pseuds/blackimpala
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean is captured in the Brown Lands, a country where slavery exists, and he becomes a slave. He is taken to a house where Crowley and Jo are his masters. In that house, he meets Castiel, another slave who shares his bedroom with Dean. And Castiel turns out to be the nicest person in that house and Dean will start to feel something for him slowly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Arrival

**Author's Note:**

> First of all, my mother tongue isn't English, so my apologies if there are grammar mistakes in some parts.  
> This fic is going to be really dark in some chapters. I'm warning you already.  
> I will try to post one chapter every week, but this fic is in progress, so maybe, there will be weeks when I won't be able to post.  
> Enjoy it.

He should have listened to Bobby. Going to the Brown Lands was a terrible idea, but Dean didn’t care, he needed to know the truth about Sam’s death in the Brown Lands. His brother died almost five months ago and the only answer Dean and Bobby got was that Sam died because of an accident, because he was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Dean and Bobby knew that it was a lie; a person whose body was stabbed more than ten times couldn’t be considered as an accident. Dean knew his brother too well and he knew that Sam was murdered and he wanted to know why, so he went to the Brown Lands to find the horrible truth about Sam’s death.

Dean found the bitter truth. When he found it, he decided that it was time to go back home, to keep working in Bobby’s car repair garage, to keep going on with his empty life, but that wasn’t going to happen.

Everyone in the world knows that the Brown Lands is the only country where there are slaves. It is a big country, almost as big as Italy. It is in the Atlantic Ocean, a big island between America and Europe, in the northern hemisphere. A long time ago, it was a country with low population, but at the end of the 19th century, a lot of people immigrated to the Brown Lands, trying to start a new life, just like what happened with America and the American dream, but during the beginning of the 20th century, the society became a slave society. It is famous not only because of the slaves, because it has almost the same weather as England; grey skies, cold temperatures and rain most of the time. That’s the popular knowledge.

The Brown Lands’ slave society it is well accepted by the important politicians in the rest of the world. The economic crisis has been really hard and some countries have interests in the Brown Lands, because there are several things that can be done easier and cheaper than in the rest of the world, something that it has been helping countries to overcome the global crisis, although only powerful people know the terrible truth about those interests. The rest of the world only knows the Brown Lands by the slaves, but nothing else. It is a dangerous place to go if you don’t know anything about it.

Of course, Dean only knew about the slaves, but nothing else, like all the people who weren’t politicians or important businessmen. He didn’t think that he was going to be captured. The night he was going to take the ship to go back home, he decided to go for a drink, trying to accept the truth about Sam’s death, there were some couple of hours left to kill before he had to go to the ship and he needed a drink. 

Every single person in the bar gave him angry looks. Those looks that make you think that you are in the wrong place and you should leave without looking nervous or scared. But Dean wasn’t either nervous or scared. He didn’t care about those people staring at him. The only thing he was doing there was to drink, he didn’t understand why he was being looked like that, but he just kept looking at the bottom of the glass, staring at the brown gold liquid, trying to drown his sorrows in there.

He kept drinking, sitting in silence, with his green eyes focused on the drink. Everyone was in completely silence. Everyone, except Dean, were wearing fancy white collars. Dean didn’t know why. In the time he spent in the Brown Lands, just a couple of days, he saw that everyone wore collars. White or black. People with white collars always gave Dean angry and sick looks, but not like the ones the people in the bar were giving him that night. That time, the looks were worse than the normal ones he received.

A man stood up from his seat an approached Dean. Of course, Dean ignored him. He was sure that the man was looking for a fight or something and Dean wasn’t in the mood of that. But Dean was wrong; that man didn’t want to fight. He wanted Dean. The last thing that Dean remembers from the bar is how a sudden black took over him as he felt how something really hard hit him in the head, making him to pass out.

When Dean woke up, he was in a cage. He looked at the cage. It was like a cage from prisons, with a bed, where he was lying down, and with a bathroom, but the main difference was that there were a lot of people walking in the hall, looking at him for some moments and then, they walked by.

Dean was really confused. He walked toward the bars to see the place where he was. He poked his head, trying to see the place where he was. There were cages next to both sides of his. He supposed that there were people in there too. Dean didn’t understand anything of that. He tried to ask to people where he was, but no one answered, all of them gave him disgusted looks or ignored him. Dean started to feel furious and frustrated.

“HEY!” Dean yelled really loud and angry. All the people stopped and looked at him. Dean succeeded on getting their attention, although people were looking at him with rage; more than usually. “Where the fuck am I?!”

A man approached him and moved really fast his hand and used a stun gun to give him an electric shock. Dean screamed of pain.

“You are not supposed to talk. You have to remain in silence.” The man said with a calmed but strong voice. “You are nobody.”

Dean was in the floor, still feeling the pain in his body. The shock wasn’t too harmful or too high, but it hurt him and it left him a bit dizzy. “Fuck you.” Dean whispered.

The man squatted and pressed the stun gun in Dean’s leg, giving Dean another electric shock. Dean screamed again. His sight was blurry but he could still see the old man with the white collar looking at him. Dean gave him a fierce look.

“Let me tell you something, slag.” The man started to say. Some people started to walk again, while there were others that still were looking at Dean. “You are in the slave’s market. You are a slave now, waiting for someone who buys you. Meanwhile, if you say something, you get another shock. If you try to do something, you get a shock. Does your little and insignificant brain understand that?”

That man imposed. Maybe it was because of his grey eyes, trying to murder Dean with them, but Dean was too cocky and he didn’t fear that man at all. 

“I’m not such thing.” Dean mumbled.

That wasn’t the answer the man was looking for, so he used the stun gun again. Dean screamed one more time. His sight was too blurry in that moment.

“I can keep doing this over and over again. It’s your choice.” The man said. Dean was starting to feel how the strengths were leaving his body slowly. “But like it or not, you are a slave now.”

Dean passed out several seconds after those words.

He didn’t know how many time passed since someone bought him. More than a week, that’s what he thought. Most of the memories from that place were blurry in his brain. Until he was bought, he had to spend his days in the cage. He was feed two times a day. He tried to escape the first three days, but after being shocked by the stun gun several times in a torturing way, Dean didn’t try to escape again. He was watched over all the day and there was no way to find a key to open the cage. Also, he was starting to feel really exhausted about all those shocks. The only thing he could do there was to eat when food was served, take a shower, sit on the floor or sleep. 

He still had his bag with all his belongings, except for the documents that identified who he was, his money and his phone, those people had to take it away from him. He had all his clothes and his plastic razor, so he could shave. He didn’t like to let his beard grown too much, although there was no reason to keep shaving when he was going to be in that cage for a long time. But it was one of the few things he could do sometimes to kill time in that cage.

A black man appeared and looked at Dean with interest one day. The man who usually gave electric shocks to Dean approached too. Dean knew he shouldn’t say a word, he didn’t want to suffer all that pain from the stun gun, but he could glare at the people, for now.

“He is exactly what I was looking for.” The black man said.

“He is quite problematic, Gordon.” The grey eyed man said. He glared at Dean, who was sitting on the floor.

“Maybe that can be solved with some methods.” Gordon dedicated Dean a creepy smile.

“Are you sure? He’s really tough.”

“He is what my buyer is looking for. I’m taking him.”

Several men got into the cage; they knew Dean’s wild behavior and if Dean saw any chance to run away, he would use it, but if he saw that almost ten men were standing in front of him, he couldn’t find a way to run away. Dean was reckless, but not that much.

Dean was ordered to take his bag with him and then, he was handcuffed in his wrists and in his ankles. Now it was almost impossible for him to run away. Gordon paid for him and took Dean to a van. Of course, Gordon put Dean in the big van’s trunk, he didn’t deserve to be in the front seat like a person; Dean was now commodity.

Now, Dean is still in the trunk, Gordon is driving quite fast and Dean knows that it has been hours since they left the slave’s market because it is starting to get dark. He can hear how the rain starts to fall and hits softly the van, ringing on the metal. It is starting to get cold, but Dean always wears several layers of clothes, so he doesn’t feel too cold, only a little.

That’s his life now, being a slave. He didn’t expect that. He couldn’t believe that there was still a country with slaves. Everything seems to be a really bad dream, those days since he was captured looked like a bad dream, but no mattered how much he tried to wake up, because everything he is living is real.

There’s frustration in Dean, and anger and a bit of fear too. He shouldn’t have gone to the Brown Lands, he should have stayed at home, but he needed to know about Sam’s death.

Dean sighs. He doesn’t understand that place. The only thing he had been able to understand while he was in the slave’s market was that if you wear a white collar you are free, but if you wear a black collar, you are a slave. And if you don’t wear any collar at all, people with white collars that commercialize with slaves, can take you and sell you. That’s what Dean learnt in the slave’s market. Grey-eyed told him that when Dean, after being punished with electric shocks for hours, for trying to escape one more time and hitting one of those security guys, told him that he wouldn’t do anything else if grey-eyed answered him why he was captured. Dean got his answers and then, he closed his eyes, trying to avoid the blurry on them until the darkness took over him.

He doesn’t know where he is being taken; all he knows is that he is very far from the harbor and further from his home; further than in his whole life. He doesn’t like the Brown Lands, the weather is cold, although Dean likes rain, but most of the time the skies are grey and it is too cold, despite of being summer. He doesn’t like the people; he doesn’t like how they take freedom away from other people to turn them into slaves. Every single person in the world is free, but the people in the Brown Lands don’t believe in that, even they are so proud to have slaves. Dean hates that. They took their freedom away, like a normal thing. He isn’t a person anymore for them, he is a slave, just flesh.

Dean isn’t sure he is going to be able to live with that. Being a slave is wrong. Having slaves is wrong. But Dean isn’t going to let the depression and the frustration to take over him, he is going to find the strengths that he needs to carry on and he will fight for being free again. He has been fighting his whole life for a lot of things, he could fight a little bit more, despite of the fact that this time, fighting is going to be really difficult and hard. He is in a country that he doesn’t know, he doesn’t understand how things work in that country, he doesn’t know anyone there and he knows that if he does something that he shouldn’t do, he will be killed easily. Dean knows he has to be very careful on every single little thing he is going to do or say wherever he is being taken to. But he feels frustrated, angry, tired and lost. More than in his whole life, and for the first time in Dean’s life, he doesn’t know what to do. It’s going to be really hard for Dean to keep going.

Several hours pass until the van stops making Dean to wake up, he took a small nap during the long journey. He sees that it is dark, so it must be quite late in the night. Gordon opens the door and Dean picks his bag and gets out. It is still raining, but softer.

Gordon starts to walk towards a big house. Dean has never seen a house as big as that one. The roof is black and the walls are white. It shows that it belongs to a rich family; there’s wealth in every single small part of the house’s facade. There is a fence, with its base made of bricks and with iron black bars.

“Come on you little shit!” Gordon says pissed off. Dean is walking slowly, looking at the huge house.

Dean keeps walking as he sees the place. There aren’t more houses near that one, it is only surrounded by the road and a lot of trees. It is a pretty house in a pretty place, Dean can’t deny that.

Gordon opens the fence’s door with a key and Dean follows him. The path from the fence to the porch it is covered with granite and there are hedges in both sides of it with some flowers on them. Dean can smell the scent of the plants mixed with the rain. It is a great smell. After being for several days in that awful cage, it is nice to smell the nature and the rain. It would be nicer if he could do that being free.

Once they go up the few stairs, they arrive at the porch, Gordon rings the bell. He doesn’t look at Dean, his sight is focused on the door. Dean could hit him and steal the handcuff’s keys and run, but he doesn’t know where he is, where the harbor is and he knows that he doesn’t have a collar, so he could be captured easily. He has to wait there, feeling useless and defeated. He wants to do a lot of things to get himself out of there, but he can’t do any of that. He knows he is foreigner there who doesn’t understand how things in the Brown Lands work and he can screw things easily.

Soon, the door is opened by a blonde young woman.

“Gordon, I didn’t expect you this late.” She says.

“I’m sorry Jo, traffic in the city was awful and it delayed me, but once I left it, I tried to drive as fast as I could.” Gordon explained. “I bring you a slave.”

Jo looks at Dean. She is shorter than Dean and she has to raise her head to look at Dean. Her wavy hair is long and it falls gently over her shoulders. She looks from top to bottom at Dean several times, biting her lower lip and giving Dean a look that Dean knows quite well. That’s the look that a lot of women always gave to him when they found him attractive. “What’s your name?” Jo asks.

“Dean Winchester.”

“Just Dean. Your last name it isn’t important now that you are a slave.” Her tune is powerful.

Dean makes an angry grimace and he clenches his fists. He doesn’t like how that sounded. They have taken their freedom, now that girl takes his last name too. In that country anybody with a white collar can take every single small thing you have. Dean glares at her and she seems to enjoy it.

“I really like him, Gordon.” Jo says with a proud smile. Her fingers stroke slowly Dean’s shoulder and Dean feels a creep in his body.

She searches for something next to her and picks it. It is a black collar. Dean knows it is for him and he hates it. They are going to put him a collar, as if he were a dog. Jo places her finger in the small metal bolt. It is reading her fingertip. A small green light shows up and the collar is opened. Jo is going to put it on Dean, but Dean tries to walk away awkwardly, he still has the handcuffs on his ankles.

“Don’t move.” Gordon says taking Dean by his shoulders.

Gordon tightens Dean quite strong and Jo raises her arms to put the black collar on Dean’s neck. Dean is now her slave. There is rage and fire burning in Dean’s veins but he can’t do anything, he can only stand there, seeing how happy Jo is with her new slave, like if he was a new toy, while Dean feels sick about that situation.

Gordon picks the handcuff’s keys and he removes the handcuffs. Dean caresses his wrists, feeling the sore that the metal left on his skin. Then, he moves his ankles to feel them free.

“Thank you so much Gordon.” Jo says giving him money.

“You are welcome.” Gordon says.

Gordon walks towards his van while Dean and Jo see him. Then, Jo indicates Dean with her hand to come in. Dean does it. He looks at the house, it is really luxury. There are expensive furniture and paintings. The wood on the floor shines and everything is perfect and clean. But despite of that, Dean doesn’t like it.

“My name is Joanna Harvelle. You must call me Miss Harvelle. My father’s name is Crowley Harvelle. And now you are our slave.” Jo starts to say. There’s pride and arrogance in her voice and in her face. “It is quite late and I’m tired, so tomorrow you will be introduced about everything you need to know.” She looks irritated. Dean glares her but she doesn’t seem to care. “Follow me.” She says as she starts to walk.

She walks downstairs, followed by Dean. He stares at her. She is quite thin. She is really well dressed and she walks with pride. And of course, she wears a fancy white collar. He has just already met her, but Dean doesn’t like Jo at all.

The whole house remains in silence; it is only interrupted by the sound of Jo’s heels and Dean’s boots. She walks through a long hall, with a long dark red carpet on the floor. There are several doors in that hall. They walk until they found the last door of the hall, and she tries to open the door, but it is closed, so she knocks it, taking an impatient breath.

“Castiel, unlock the door.” Jo says a bit angry.

There is a sound of a door lock and then, the door is opened by Jo. A man almost as tall as Dean with a black collar too, is the one who appears behind the door. His eyes are blue and his hair is dark brown, but it is so dark that it seems almost black. He looks at Dean in a soft way. It is the first time that someone looks at him like that in the Brown Lands.

“What is it miss Harvelle?” Castiel asks. His tune is tired but it shows a little that he doesn’t like Jo either.

“This is Dean, a new slave. He is now going to live and sleep in this room with you.” Jo starts to say. “Tomorrow you will have to show him everything and explain him everything.”

“Yes miss Harvelle.” He says in a tired way.

Jo presses some keys on the control that it is in the wall. Then she leaves and gives Dean a strange smirk that he doesn’t like. Then, she just keeps walking through the hall.

Dean gets in the room. There are two beds in each side, with bedside tables next to each one. There is a small window between the beds. The bed of the left it is a bit messy, that must be Castiel’s bed, so Dean’s has to be the one in the right. Also, there is a big wardrobe in the right side and there is another door, which belongs to the bathroom in the left. The walls are painted in a light yellow cream color and the floor is made of a shiny wood. The room is clean, it is much better that the cage, although it is a bit cold.

Suddenly, Dean hears how Castiel is locking the door.

“Why do you lock it?” Dean asks concerned.

“Because if Jo comes back, she will have to knock the door. It isn’t a good idea to leave the door unlocked for her.” Castiel explains.

“It seems like you don’t want me to get out of here.” He says fiercely looking at Castiel.

Castiel raises his eyes, showing sadness. “You can’t get out.” He says. Dean half-closes his eyes. “Not until it is 7:30. The door can only be opened from outside at this time.”

“You gotta be kidding me.”

Castiel shakes his head. “Try if you don’t believe me.”

Dean approaches de door and unlocks it, but when he tries to open it, he can't. He does it again and nothing. The door is still closed.

“It works with logical electronic. It knows if the door is opened from the bedroom or from the hall.” Castiel starts to explain. He is leaning his back on the wall and Dean looks at him. His blue eyes are sad, they are filled with empathy and even with pain too. “It counts how many people are here with a sensor. So when there are two people in the bedroom, you can’t open it from inside, but it can be opened from the hall. Of course if there’s a third person, the door can be opened from here, but once it is closed again, you can’t open it again until it is 7:30.”

Dean gives him an astonished look. He isn’t good at trying to understand electronic things. “I barely understood anything.”

“My apologies.” His voice is sad but at the same time it is a bit tender. “I know a little about digital electronic and… Well, never mind.” He sighs. “The control that it is in the wall won’t let you out of here.”

“Awesome.” He says sarcastically. He rubs his face. Dean walks towards the bed and puts on it his bag and sits on the bed.

“What was your name?” Castiel asks going to his own bed.

“Dean. Dean Winchester.” He answers. “And yours was…?”

“Castiel.”

“It is a weird name.” Dean says with a strange grimace.

Castiel makes a half-smile. “I know.”

“You don’t have a last name?”

“I had. But slaves don’t need a last name.”

There’s a silence between them. Dean looks at Castiel. He seems very different from all the people he has known in the Brown Lands, he has seen slaves too, but they seemed different from Castiel. He has something different and Dean doesn’t know what it is. Maybe it is his eyes; there is a strange shine that he hasn’t seen before in that awful country.

“You have never been a slave before, right?” Castiel asks, looking at Dean’s green eyes. He finds them amusing. There is a big space between their beds, but he can see Dean’s eyes with the light of his lamp. They are greener than any other green eyes that he has ever seen. Dean seems mysterious for Castiel, stranger for everything he has ever known.

“How do you know?” Dean asks surprised.

“You look so vivid. You don’t seem broken or hopeless.” There’s pity in his eyes and in his voice. A sad feeling runs Castiel’s body and he looks down at his feet.

Dean feels how his guts twist. “Where I come from there aren’t slaves.”

“You are from the Free Lands?” His eyes open wide and he looks at Dean’s face again.

“Free Lands?” He has never heard about that.

“That’s how everyone here calls the countries that aren’t the Brown Lands.” He explains with a sweet voice.

“Oh, all right. Yeah, I’m from the Free Lands. From United States.” Dean answers casually.

Castiel’s face gets sadder. “I’m so sorry that you have become a slave.”

Dean’s face gets sadder too. He takes a deep breath. He doesn’t want to talk about anything like that. He can’t trust anyone there. Castiel is nice to him, but maybe he is pretending to be nice. “Yeah, well, shit happens.” Dean says after a while. He puts his bag on the floor and looks at the clock that it is in Castiel’s bedside table. It’s almost midnight.

“We should sleep. We have to wake up at seven AM. At 7:35 breakfast it is served and we will have to take a shower.” Castiel says with a sad grimace. “I will show you everything tomorrow.”

“Okay.” Dean says casually. He takes off his boots while Castiel gets in the bed.

“Sleep well; you are going to need it here, especially if you have never been a slave before.” Castiel starts to say with a worried voice. “You aren’t going to like this…” He sighs and Dean looks at him. Castiel’s face shows sorrow. “Goodnight Dean.” Castiel says when he is well covered and switches off the lamp of his bedside table.

Dean is surprised by that. Castiel is nice and sweet to him. He doesn’t understand why, they have just met. Dean doesn’t trust him; he doesn’t trust anyone from the Brown Lands. Anyways, he is going to try to be nice with Castiel. He might be pretending to be nice, but Castiel is the first person from the Brown Lands that has looked at Dean like a person, not like an animal or a slave. “Goodnight to you too, Cas.” Dean says.

Dean gets in the cold bed and switches off his lamp. Everything is dark and cold. He feels frustrated, angry and sad. He feels like shit because he is a freaking slave.


	2. Knowing

The alarm clock sounds too loud. For a moment, Dean doesn’t remember where he is, but once he opens his eyes and he sees Castiel in the bed that is in front of him, he knows where he is. He feels like shit. It is too early and he doesn’t want to get up from the bed. Dean wants to bury his face in the pillow and try to sleep. Or even better, he wants to wake up in his bed, the one in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, not in that one, wishing that nothing of that happened. But he knows he can’t have any of that.

Meanwhile, Castiel is yawning and getting up. He looks at Dean as he rubs one of his blue eyes. Dean likes his eyes. They are too blue, like two sapphires in the ocean, and in spite of the sadness on them, they are stunning.

“Do you want to take the shower first?” Castiel asks in a nice way.

“No. Take it you first.” Dean says mumbling. He isn’t fully awake yet.

“Okay. Try not to fall asleep again; you won’t like how Jo is when she is angry.” He says with a scared grimace

Dean gives him a confused look. Then, he understands what Castiel means. “Oh crap. She likes to hurt people?”

“She likes to call it to learn a lesson or receive your punishment.” He is disgusted by that. Dean is it too. “And well, for her, slaves aren’t people. Once you have a black collar, you are nothing, you are just flesh. And it shouldn’t be like that.” He takes a deep breath. Dean looks at him intrigued. It is weird to find someone in the Brown Lands who thinks like that. “I am going to take a shower. You can put those clothes in the washing machine that is in the bathroom if you want to.”

“Do I have to wear something special, like a uniform or something?” Dean asks as he raises himself.

“No. Only clean clothes. And I would recommend you to wear comfortable ones. I don’t know what she will want you to do after I show you everything.” He explains sweetly. “If you need clothes there are several ones in the wardrobe, I think they will fit you.”

“Thanks Cas.” Castiel nods and he is about to get in the bathroom but Dean stops him. “Hey, Cas.”

“Yes?”

“Is it safe to take a shower with this?” Dean points the black collar. “I mean, I saw the blondie girl to activate something electronic or whatever.”

Castiel makes a tiny smile. “Yes. It is safe. It is a small electronic chip on it that it works like a lock. It is waterproof. The rest of the collar it is made of two layers of leather that has a thin metal band in between.” He explains with a serious grimace. “You won’t get electrocuted if that is what you are afraid of.” He makes a tiny smile again, although this time looks prettier and sweeter.

Dean makes a tiny smile too. “Good to know it. Thanks.”

Castiel nods and goes into the bathroom. Dean looks how Castiel closes the door behind him. There is something different on him and Dean kind of likes it. He shouldn’t. One thing he has learnt on the Brown Lands is that you can’t trust anyone. But Castiel is the first one to show some humanity on him. Dean has to know Castiel better and he has to try to be cautious with him.

Dean gets up from the bed and goes to the wardrobe. He opens it and sees that there are several clothes. Mostly jeans, t-shirts and shirts. They look quite worn. He searches for his bag, looking for underwear and for his own clothes. He wants to wear his own. He didn’t pack a lot of clothing, just a couple of jeans, a few t-shirts, some shirts and a couple of jackets. He packed several underwear and socks, just in case he needed them.

He waits until Castiel opens the bathroom door, getting out of it. Dean gets into the bathroom. It is quite big. There is a washing machine, he puts his dirty clothes on it, and next to the washing machine, there is a dryer. There is a toilet, a sink and a bathtub with a showerhead. It is really clean, more than the cage.

Dean, after pissing, takes his shower. The water is really warm. He missed taking hot showers. The hot water runs his body and Dean starts to feel like shit. He doesn’t want to be there, he doesn’t want to be a slave. He wants to go back home, to see Bobby again to keep living his life. But Dean doesn’t know what to do, he doesn’t know where to go. He is alone; he has never been alone in that way, and it scares him. He has been through a lot of things, but nothing like that. He is a slave, his life is meaningless for the people in that country. It is a terrifying place and Dean knows that he has only seen a few of the horrors of that country.

After thinking about his life for long moments, Dean gets out of the shower and dries himself with some towel, then, he starts to get dressed and opens the door. Castiel is sitting on the bed, looking at the floor, with his gloomy gaze, but he turns his face to Dean when he hears the door opening.

“Are you okay?” Castiel asks worried. Dean doesn’t answer but Castiel knows Dean’s answer to that. He sighs. “Let’s go to have breakfast.” He stands up from the bed and opens the door. Dean follows him.

There are few people on the hall. All of them are slaves. There are women and men, all of them wearing black collars. A few of them, when they hear Castiel closing the door, turn their heads to look at Castiel and Dean and they give sick looks to both of them. Even slaves look at Dean in that sick way.

“Just ignore them.” Castiel says with a grimace. “They just like to stare at every one who isn’t wearing a white collar like that.” He sighs as he starts to walk.

“Why?” Dean asks. He places himself next to Castiel, walking with him.

Castiel shrugs. “They just like it.”

They don’t say anything else. The other slaves give them sick looks. Most of them are directed to Dean. He is the new one and nobody there seems to like it. Castiel ignores all of those looks, he tries to go unnoticed, but Dean glares all of them. He doesn’t need anyone to look at him like that. He can do like Castiel, ignore all of them, but he needs to show all that people that he isn’t troubled with those looks. And he can look at them in a worse way.

Soon, they arrive to the kitchen. There is a table with breakfast on it. There is coffee, toast and cereals. It is a better breakfast than the one Dean had in the cage. Castiel sits in one of the chairs, quite far from the other five slaves that are sitting on there. Dean sits in front of Castiel and then, he looks at all of the slaves who are smirking in a creepy way to him.

Castiel is focused on his breakfast, cereals and a toast. He isn’t looking at the other slaves. He doesn’t want to. He raises his eyes to meet Dean’s. He looks at two of the slaves, the ones who are still smirking to him, and then, he takes some coffee.

One of the slaves approaches them, sitting next to Dean, but leaving a considerable space between each other. His smirk is quite creepy, his dark eyes looks at Dean with superiority, and when his eyes are focused on Castiel, they show fun mixed with a slight touch of disgust.

“Congratulations Castiel, you seem to have a friend.” The dark-eyed man says. His voice is acute and acid.

“Shut up, Alastair.” Castiel says fiercely. Dean hasn’t heard that tune in Castiel’s voice before.

Alastair makes a hussy smile and looks at Dean. “You should find a new friend, buddy.” His smile is wide, it shows his white teeth and that behind that fake smile, Alastair is hiding something. Dean has seen that fake smile in a lot of people, but Alastair’s is the creepiest.

Dean half-closes his eyes and his lips press into a hard curve. “I am not your buddy.” Dean says.

Castiel looks at Dean, surprised by Dean’s response. Alastair’s smile doesn’t disappear, but it shows that he is a bit disappointed. “Listen to me… whatever it is your name—”

“Dean.” He says angrily. “My name is Dean.”

“Oh, Dean, what a cute name you have.” He sounds pleased with messing with Dean. Alastair looks at the table and with his fingers, he starts to drum softly the table. He looks at Dean again. “Okay, Dean.” He says Dean’s name with a bit of arrogance. Dean is getting sick of Alastair, but he isn’t going to show him that. He keeps drinking his coffee and he picks a piece of toast, trying to look casual. “You are going to need good companies in this house. You seem tough, but it is really easy to break down here when things get a little dark.” His fingers stop drumming. Dean looks at him with a done face. “It is important to choose the right companies.” His face is smug and Dean knows that expression too well and it is never good.

Dean lets out a sarcastic laugh. Castiel looks at him bewildered. “And you are the right company? Don’t make me laugh.”

Alastair’s smile disappears. “I’m just telling—”

“I know what you are telling me.” Dean interrupts. His voice is sharp. He knows what Alastair is trying to say. It’s the same old bullshit. The tough guy finds an interesting guy that he could use for anything, always bad things, and he offers him protection and stuff like that. Dean doesn’t want to be his friend. He doesn’t like his tune and his expression. “I don’t need all your bullshit. So now, if you don’t mind, I’d like to finish my breakfast.” He throws a sharp glare at Alastair and he keeps eating his breakfast.

“Leave it, Alastair.” Another slave says. His eyes are almost yellow and his smirk is as creepy as Alastair’s. “He would reconsider this after he breaks down.”

Alastair goes back to where he was sitting, in a reluctantly way, and Dean keeps eating. He looks at Castiel, whose eyes show surprise. But soon Dean moves his sight back to his breakfast. That wasn’t new for Dean; in high school he had to deal with bullies and he always told them things like before, or he had to fight with them, but finally, all of them, left him alone. It was the same with that slave.

Once Dean has finished his breakfast, Castiel stands up and he tells Dean to follow him, because he has to show him a lot of things.

“Nobody has ever spoken to Alastair like that.” Castiel says amused but shy at the same time. He has waited to leave the kitchen to tell that to Dean.

“He’s a dick. Who the fuck he thinks he is?” Dean says annoyed.

Castiel sighs. “He is Jo’s favorite. He and Azazel. The one with yellow eyes.” Castiel starts to explain. “I know you don’t trust me, but—” He stops walking and looks at Dean, who has stopped too. Castiel takes a deep breath. “Try not to talk with them or get in trouble with them. They are really cruel and they like to get other slaves to get tortured or punished.” His eyes are sad.

Dean makes a confused gaze. “Why do you tell me all of that?” He asks confused.

“Because you don’t seem to be like all of them. You seem to be a good man.” There’s truth in his voice and also shyness and Dean could tell that there’s also a bit of affection. “Maybe I am wrong, but I don’t think so.” He shrugs.

Dean makes a tiny smile. “That’s the nicest thing somebody from here has told me.”

“Yes, well, people here aren’t really nice…” He makes a half acid smile and starts to walk again. Dean looks at him a bit surprised; Castiel is really different from the people from the Brown Lands.

Castiel takes him to a big dining room. It has paintings on the walls, there’s a huge lamp hanging in the ceiling with hundreds of crystal pieces that are shining with the light that leaks through the window. There are a few armors on the dining room. There is an old carpet on the floor and there is a couple of furniture.

“This is the dining room.” Castiel starts to explain. “Here is where people with white collars eat. We, the slaves, have to eat in the kitchen.”

Dean looks at the room again. Everything in that house is too ornate, except the places where slaves have to live. “This family is really rich.” Dean says with a grimace.

“They are. The Harvelle family is one of the richest families in the Brown Lands.” He walks toward the living room. “And the—” But Castiel shuts up.

“What?” Dean inquires.

“I shouldn’t say what I wanted to say.” He looks down and bites his lower lip. “Some people may hear it and I don’t want to suffer the consequences.” He looks at Dean.

“You don’t trust me either, right?” His brow arches. Castiel makes a guilty face. “Don’t blame you for that, Cas.” He takes a deep breath. “You’ve just met me. You don’t know how I am.” He looks at Cas. Those stunning blue eyes seem to belong to a good and nice person, but Dean can’t trust him yet. It is too soon.

“You are really different from every person I have ever known.” His blue eyes half close and Dean makes a confused face. Castiel turns his head to see the living room. “This is the living room. Only used by people who wear white collars as well.”

The living room is huge. It has several sofas, a huge television, a beautiful black piano, several bookshelves, a lot of decoration, and a big coffee table. Dean hasn’t seen a house as huge as that one. Every room is enormous and it emanates the wealth and the power of the family.

Castiel shows him several rooms from that floor, they are smaller than the kitchen, the dining room and the living room, but they are still big. One of them is an office, the others are like big wardrobes where they keep stuff, from pieces of art, to books to pictures and also, there are two bathrooms, which are only for people with white collars according to Castiel’s explanation. If a slave has to use the bathroom, the slave has to go to his own bedroom and use the bathroom that is in the bedroom.

They go upstairs. Castiel shows him more bathrooms, these ones are bigger, several bedrooms and other rooms that are wardrobes.

“Only women are allowed to enter the bedrooms.” Castiel explains.

“Why?” Dean asks confused.

Castiel shrugs. “I don’t know. Harvelle’s rules. And also, you aren’t allowed to talk to any woman who is a slave.” He adds with a serious grimace.

“You serious?”

“I am serious.”

Dean expects Castiel to add more information, but he looks at Dean in silence. Dean takes a deep breath. “Why am I not allowed talking to any woman who is a slave?” He asks a bit exhausted.

“Relationships between slaves are forbidden. Women and men can’t have a love or a sexual relationship. It is forbidden in the Brown Lands. So if you don’t talk to women, if will be more difficult to start with an emotional or sexual relationship with them.” He explains disgusted.

“And what if a man has a sexual or emotional relationship with a man? Or a woman with a woman?” Dean doesn’t understand any of that. Everything sounds really stupid.

“Homosexual relationships are forbidden in the Brown Lands.” Castiel says sad and frustrated. “You can get killed for being homosexual.” Castiel feels pain inside of him for that. Dean can notice the anger in his voice as he says that. Castiel hates all of that. “People are against homosexuality and they do awful things to people who are homosexual.”

Dean opens wide his eyes. “Holy shit, this country it is awful.” Dean says disgusted.

“It is the worst place.” His voice is strong and angry. “They have slaves, that’s not human! It is wrong! And they do horrible things to people just because they are attracted to people from the same sex! People here are like monsters!”

Dean looks at Cas surprised. He knows Castiel has talked more than he should. Someone may have heard him, but Dean is glad to have heard all of that. “It’s great to hear that.” Dean makes a sweet smile and Castiel looks at him.

“I hope nobody else heard me.” He seems a bit scared. Dean doesn’t want to know why he looks like that. “Do you think like I do?” He asks shyly and with a low voice.

“Yeah, I do.”

Castiel can’t help a smile. It is really nice to find someone who thinks like him.

“Hey, Cas, what’s behind that door?” Dean asks after a while, pointing at the door that it is at the end of the hall.

“That is where Jo punishes slaves.” Castiel answers sad and serious. “I hope you don’t have the chance to see it.” He really means that.

“You’ve been there?” He asks abruptly.

Castiel nods. He looks down. Dean makes a pity face. He wants to ask why, but he knows that Castiel won’t feel really comfortable with that, and of course, it isn’t the greatest topic for a conversation.

They walk downstairs and Castiel takes Dean to see the beautiful and huge garden. Although the sky is grey, the few sun rays that manage to leak through the clouds lighten the garden. There are a lot of flowers, hedges cut in different shapes and a lot of trees. Also, there are a couple of fountains, a couple of marble statues that are Greek goddesses and several iron benches. That garden looks like one of those from fairy tales. Dean loves it. It is the most beautiful garden he has ever seen. It belongs to an awful country, to an awful house, but it is beautiful.

“I must admit that the garden is awesome.” Dean confesses. “I really like how all the plants and hedges look.”

Castiel smiles. “I try to make it look good.”

“You work in the garden?” He asks.

Castiel nods. “Most of the time. I am the one who takes care of the garden. The rest of the time I do other things. Whatever Jo or Crowley want me to do.” He explains.

They are walking through the garden, so Dean can admire every single part of it. “You really do a good job” He says.

“Thank you, Dean. I really appreciate that”

Castiel blushes a little bit. Nobody has ever told him something like that. Dean looks at him and smiles. Castiel is too sweet and nice for being from that country. He just knows him from some hours, but Castiel is the first person that doesn’t look at Dean like a slave, he looks at him like a human. He talks to him like a human, not like if Dean was flesh. There isn’t rage or sickness in his eyes when he looks at Dean or in his voice when he speaks to him, and that’s new for Dean. In that country, Castiel’s sight and voice doesn’t exist in the rest of the people from the Brown Lands.

Several minutes after, Castiel takes him to the last place, a huge garage. It has several bicycles, several motorcycles and a lot of expensive cars; a few of them are quite old, from the forties and the fifties or so, and the rest of them aren’t older than ten years. Seeing all those cars makes Dean to remember his baby, his 1967 black Impala. He doesn’t know if he will ever see his beautiful baby again. He hopes that Bobby takes care of her.

“The garage is always empty.” Castiel starts to say, interrupting Dean’s thoughts. “No one here has mechanical knowledge.”

“I do. I worked on a car repair garage.” Dean says. Castiel looks at him with surprise.

“You could work here. It is better to have the chance to work on something you like while you are slave than being forced to do something that you hate.” He approaches Dean, who is looking an old Ford. “I guess that Jo or Crowley will call you soon to ask you what you are good at, so they could assign you a task.” Castiel looks at the walls of the huge garage.

Dean doesn’t want any of that. Castiel is right about having the chance to work on something that Dean enjoys, but he is still a slave, and it doesn’t matter how many things he does or see that he likes, he is still a slave and he hates it. But he hasn’t got any chance to do anything else. The black leather collar on his neck shows what he is now, a slave, and a prisoner. He has nowhere to go. He doesn’t even know exactly where he is; the Brown Lands are big and he doesn’t know anything about its geography.

Castiel can see that Dean doesn’t like any of that. Castiel doesn’t either. But he has been a slave for a long time that he doesn’t care about his life anymore. He wants Dean to feel better, although it is hard. Dean has lost his freedom, his life and now, he has to deal with it, and it is difficult.

“You won’t get use to any of these.” Castiel says sadly. Dean turns his face to see Castiel. “But you will have to pretend that you are.” He sighs.

Dean doesn’t want his sympathy. He could tell Cas to shut up with those things, but he doesn’t. Cas has been nice to him since he arrived and Dean knows that he doesn’t deserve his bad temper, so he just nods and doesn’t say a word.

Jo appears some minutes after. Her hair is in a bun and she is wearing dark pants, a dark blazer, a pastel pink blouse and black heels. She has make up on her face. She looks at Castiel and then at Dean.

“Dean, I was looking for you, my father wants to know you and ask you some questions about the things you can do here.” Jo starts to say. She sounds as proud as yesterday, maybe more. She looks at Dean with a bit of desire and Dean glares her. She looks at Castiel. Her smile disappears. “Have you showed him everything?”

“Yes, miss Harvelle.” Castiel answers. There isn’t that sweet and nice tune on his voice anymore, it’s dryly.

“Good. Do your tasks in the garden. On the afternoon, you will have to go to the music room and clean all the vinyl records with the special wax.” She orders with superiority.

“Yes, miss Harvelle.” Castiel nods. He looks at Dean. “I forgot one thing, Dean.” He says in a nice way, although it isn’t as sweet as when he and Cas were alone. “Lunch is served at one o’clock and dinner at eight o’clock.”

“Got it. Thanks Cas.” Dean says. His voice isn’t as nice as before either.

Castiel leaves and Jo watches him. Dean can tell by Jo’s sight that she doesn’t like Cas too much; Dean wonders why, although he may know why; Cas isn’t like the rest of slaves and he must have trouble with that, because he is different.

Jo turns to see Dean and she bites slightly her lower lip for a few seconds. Dean’s face hardens, he hates that Jo looks at him in that way. He would say a thousand things to her, but he doesn’t. Cas told him to watch out because Jo liked to punish too often. Dean is reckless, but he is not stupid; he has been there for less than a day, the last thing he needs is to get in trouble.

“Follow me Dean.” Jo says in a bossy and at the same time, she sounds delightful.

Dean follows her. She walks quite fast, but for Dean’s long legs, it’s easy to follow her speed. She is taking him inside the house, to the office that Cas showed him several minutes ago. When he saw it, it was empty, but now, there’s a man sitting on the leather chair, looking at some papers he has scattered orderly on the table. He raises his sight when he hears Jo and Dean coming. Dean looks at him; the man is wearing a black suit, he looks powerful, his brown eyes show it and he has that proud smile like Jo, but it is darker.

“So you are Dean, right?” The man asks. Dean nods. He doesn’t know if he is allowed to talk or not, so he just simply nods. “I am Crowley.” There is a huge pride in his voice when he says his name. Crowley looks at Dean from his feet to his head, as if he is trying to read Dean’s mind, trying to know every single little secret Dean has. “So, tell me, what are you good at?”

“Fixing cars.” Dean answers.

Crowley’s eyes seem to lighten up with that. “Oh, really?”

Dean half closes his eyes. Crowley’s tune was like a mix of surprise and disbelief. Dean hasn’t got any reason to lie about that. “Yes.” Dean answers. “I used to be a mechanic.”

“Lucky me, then.” A creepy but at the same time satisfactory smile appears on his face and he looks at Jo. “We have been waiting for a mechanic to fix all my pretty ladies.” He makes a pause. All the time he is looking at Dean, trying not to miss any single expression that Dean makes. Dean is trying to have a poker face too hard; he doesn’t want to screw anything up. “Well, start cleaning the garage, from the walls to the tools; tomorrow I want you to fix my cars. We will talk any other time about any other special task that you can be good at.”

Crowley nods his head at Jo, and she knows that she wants her to take Dean back to the garage. Dean is confused about Crowley. He was brief and Dean expected something more. Maybe it was a trial, to know how Dean will work and react, and he is really insecure about that. That small interview, if he can call it like that, has been shorter than he expected, and he doesn’t know if he should feel relieved or insecure. This is very different from the world he has known, but at least, he is going to work on cars, something he is good at, but he has got it really easily, too easily.


	3. Wounds

More than ten days have passed, or so. Dean isn’t sure about time anymore. He has lost count of the days he has been in that house. He only knows about the hours. Time for breakfast, time for work, time for lunch, time for more work, time for dinner and time for bed. And every single day is the same.

Dean is tired of that place. He has been trying to figure out how to get out of that place, but it is complicated, well, it is almost impossible. One of the main problems is the fence, which is locked and it only can be opened by Jo or Crowley or someone who has the key. Dean could try to climb it, but it is at least 10ft tall and there aren’t any footholds, so climbing that fence it is impossible. But even if he could climb it and run away, Dean doesn’t know where he is, he doesn’t know where the harbor is. He hasn’t got money and he has that freaking black collar in his neck, showing that he is a slave and Dean knows that no one with a white collar will let him to get out of that country.

His hopes of leaving that place are dying as days pass. Dean tries not to think about it most of the time, but there are moments when he realizes he is going to stay in that house for the rest of his life and he hates that.

The house is better than the cage, he isn’t going to deny that; the bedroom, the bathroom and the food are much better than the cage in the slave’s market, and everything is much cleaner, but it isn’t his home, he isn’t free there, it is some kind of prison, he has to work for them, and although he is repairing cars, it is not the same, it’s not like Bobby’s garage. He is doing the same, fixing cars, but it is definitely not the same.

Everyone in that house looks at him in a sick way, Jo, Crowley and all the slaves, except Castiel. Cas is the only one who looks at him in a nice way. Dean has noticed that Cas only looks at Dean like that. He gives Jo and Crowley an empty look, but Dean knows there is a bit of rage in them, although Cas hides it too well. And Castiel looks at the other slaves with mistrust, but most of the time, he tries to ignore all those looks.

Cas is very different from everything in that house and Dean has started to trust him, but just a few, and Cas is doing the same with Dean. They have talked some nights, nothing important, about the work they do in that house, about books or music (although Cas’ music taste is classic music), or other stuff, but with those short talks, they have started to know each other a little bit better. Also, Cas always goes to the garage to find Dean and to tell him that it is time for lunch or for dinner, because Castiel doesn’t want Dean to miss any eating time, because if he is late, Dean won’t be able to eat until the next meal.

Dean thanks Cas those details, because Cas could be like the other slaves, he could only care about himself, but he always leaves his work some minutes earlier to find Dean and tell him that it is time for eating. Cas could let Dean keep working on the garage, without knowing what time it is, but Cas always goes to the garage and every time Dean sees him, he can’t help a tiny smile.

He likes Castiel, at least the few things he has known about Cas for those almost two weeks. He is a bit awkward, he is really intelligent and he is really nice despite of being sometimes too serious. Cas is everything that the Brown Lands aren’t. Cas has some kind of humanity that Dean never expected to find in that awful country.

Days pass, maybe three or four, Dean doesn’t care, he is sure that more than two weeks have passed. He is still working on the garage, there are too many cars and all of them have serious problems, but Dean can fix all of them. He has fixed three already, but there are a lot of more waiting for him. He is now working on a red car, a 1958 Plymouth fury. The chassis it is in a really bad condition, it needs to be welded. Dean wonders how the car hasn’t broken in two pieces. Crowley has a lot of money and he hasn’t spent a single penny on someone to fix any of those cars. That man is weird.

Dean is about to use the soldering iron when he cuts his forearm. He lets out a groan; the cut is a bit deep and he is bleeding quite much. He gets out from behind the car to look at the wound; he needs to take care of it, but there isn’t a medical kit in the garage and he doesn’t know where he can get anything that he needs to heal the wound.

“Shit.” Dean says.

He has to find Jo and ask her about it. Dean doesn’t like the idea. He doesn’t like Jo’s tune and he hates how she looks at him, but he has no other choice. Dean walks out from the garage, with his left arm touching the wound from his right forearm, trying not to spill blood on the floor, because he is sure that if Jo sees his blood on the floor, she is going to be very disgusted and angry.

Dean walks quite fast and gets in the house and looks for Jo. She is in the living room. Dean knows that he can’t get inside the living room without permission, that was what Cas told him, so Dean stays in the doorstep and clears his throat.

Jo raises her sight from the tablet. “What is it Dean?” Jo says with irritation in her voice. Being interrupted by a slave is something that she really hates.

“I cut myself.” Dean starts to explain. He tries to sound polite.

“And?” She moves her head, showing that she doesn’t care.

“Where can I heal my forearm?” Now he sounds a bit pissed off, but not much. He has to show a bit of respect, even in Jo doesn’t show him any.

“Do I look like I care?” Her eyes don’t show mercy, Dean isn’t sure if those eyes could show mercy ever. Dean makes a grimace. “Find a way by yourself, and don’t you dare to use one of my bathrooms.” Her voice is fierce.

Jo looks at her tablet and she shakes one of her hands to show Dean that she wants him out of there. Dean gets out from the house with fast steps, really angry; he was freaking stupid for thinking that Jo was going to tell him where he could heal his wound, what could somebody expect from a person who has slaves?

Dean walks towards the garden. He should have looked for Cas in the first place instead of wasting his time with Jo. The wound is starting to burn and Dean knows it isn’t a good signal. His left hand is covered with blood, but he doesn’t pull it away.

Cas is in a ladder, pruning a big hedge, really concentrated on it. He likes gardening and like Dean, he tries to forget that he is trapped there by doing something that he enjoys, although he has to work in there because he is forced too.

“Cas.” Dean says.

Castiel turns his face to see Dean and he sees the blood. He opens widely his blue eyes. “Dean!” Cas says as he gets off the ladder. “Are you alright? What happened?” He asks approaching Dean. He sounds really concerned and Dean can’t believe that someone in that place is actually worried about him.

“I cut myself.” Dean starts to explain as Cas pulls Dean’s left hand away from the wound to see it. “I need to heal it and I don’t know—”

“Okay, let’s go to the bedroom.” Castiel says catching Dean’s wrist and walking really fast.

Dean follows Cas’ speed. In that moment, Cas looks more worried about the wound than Dean. He knows Cas for a couple of weeks, but Dean is always surprised by Cas’ constant care of him. Castiel doesn’t let Dean’s wrist go, he holds it tightly, afraid of losing Dean on the path; he wants to make sure they arrive as soon as possible to heal the wound.

They arrive to their bedroom and they get in the bathroom. Cas switches on the lights and he opens the cupboard and he picks some bottles and some bands.

“Come here, Dean.” Cas says from the sink. Dean complies and approaches the sink. Then, Cas takes his arm and washes it with cold water. “It is a bit deep.”

“Yeah, I know.” Dean says watching Cas’ hands on his forearm.

“This may smart you a little bit.” He warns showing a jar. Cas opens it and he puts his fingers inside of it, dipping them in a jelly that smells like a forest. Cas applies it on the wound and Dean grunts. “Sorry.” He sounds upset.

“Don’t worry.” He says with a groan. “What the hell is that?”

“It is a homemade antiseptic.” Cas begins to explain. He dips his fingers again in the jelly to apply it on Dean’s wound again. “Jo doesn’t let any slave to use any kind of things you can find on a medical kit, except bands, so I have to make an antiseptic with the plants in the garden.”

“You know about medicinal plants and all that stuff?” Dean is really surprised.

“Yes.” There is a small smile on his face.

“Wow.” Dean simply says. He sometimes wonders how a man with all that knowledge could end up in a place like that.

Castiel looks at the wound, all covered with the natural antiseptic and he starts to apply it again in the wound, covering all of it. Castiel’s fingers and gentle and Dean is surprised by how careful and gentle Castiel is being with his wound, trying not to hurt him. Cas washes his hand when the wound is all covered with the jelly. “It will smart you a little bit at first, but after some minutes, you will feel not pain at all, maybe some itch, but nothing else. The wound is a bit deep, but it doesn’t need to be stitched.” He explains. Then, Cas picks the bands and starts to put it around the arm, covering the wound.

“Thanks for all, Cas.” Dean’s voice is really sweet. He really thanks Cas for that.

Cas raises his sight to look at Dean’s eyes. “You are very welcome, Dean.” He smiles and blushes a little bit and Dean likes that, so he blushes a little bit too. “Next time, be more careful.” Cas says concerned. He is now cutting the band with his hands and putting some tape so the band won’t fall.

“I will.” He smiles. Dean washes his hand drenched in blood. “Sorry for getting you off the work.”

“Dean, you were hurt. You don’t have to apologize for anything.”

Dean smile gets bigger. “Well, okay then.”

Cas smiles too. “We should get back to work.” He says in an annoyed way. Dean nods.

They walk together out of the house, and when Cas is about to go to the garden, he stops.

“If you need anything else, just come and tell me, okay?” Cas says in his nice voice.

Dean makes a pretty smile. “Okay. Thanks, Cas.” Dean says.

Cas nods and walks towards the ladder where he was working before Dean arrived. Dean watches how Cas walks and he smiles. He really likes Cas. Dean doesn’t understand at all why Cas is like that with him, Cas could treat him like Dean was just flesh, just how everyone else in that house does, but Cas treats him like a person and Dean appreciates that because Cas, is the only person in that place that makes Dean still feel like a person, not like flesh, not like a prisoner, not like a slave.

 

A couple of days pass and Dean’s wound is healed. He doesn’t know what the hell Cas’ antiseptic was made of, but it worked extremely good on the wound. Dean isn’t wearing the band anymore and there is only a scar, that it itches a little bit, but nothing else.

“Is your forearm feeling better?” Castiel asks. They are having dinner, and as always, Dean and Cas are sitting in front of each other, in one of the edges of the table, as far as they can from the other slaves. For dinner there is some rice with a small steak.

“Yeah, it is.” Dean says as he eats. He is really hungry, that afternoon in the garage was pretty intense. “Thank you so much for healing it, Cas.” He says with a huge smile. Cas blushes with that. “I thought it was going to take me longer to heal, but you miraculous jelly has healed me too good.”

“It is not miraculous.” He laughs softly. “Anyone with a bit of knowledge about medicinal plant could make it.”

“If it wasn’t for you, I am sure as hell that I would be still bleeding right now. Don’t be so modest.” He is saying that with all his heart. Cas could have just told him to go to their bathroom and heal himself, but Cas took him to the bathroom and healed him with that jelly, and Dean is really grateful for his consideration.

“Dean, don’t give it that importance.” He says a bit uncomfortable and blushing too much.

“Cas.” Dean says in a serious voice. Cas raises his sight from his food to stare at Dean’s eyes. “You helped me and I am really thankful for it, you could have been like all of them.” He moves his head to point the other slaves. “But you helped me and, thank you, thank you so much.”

There is a pretty smile on Cas’ face with a blush in his cheeks. “You are welcome, Dean.”

Dean smiles and keeps eating. Cas does the same. They enjoy their company. They know that they don’t belong to that place, that they aren’t like anyone else in that house. They don’t know each other’s story, but they feel really good with each other.

“Dean.” Jo says. She is standing in the doorstep and looking at Dean with a serious face. Dean raises his sight to look at her. She never comes to the kitchen when the slaves are eating. “After you finish your dinner, I want you in my bedroom. Do you understand?”

Dean is confused about that order, but he answers. “I understand.”

Jo nods and she leaves. The silence that there was while Jo arrived disappears and the other slaves start talking again, like when they did before Jo arrived.

Dean looks at Cas, who is paler than before and with his eyes showing confusion and a bit of fear. “That isn’t good.” Castiel says.

“That she wants me in her bedroom? Yeah, I know that it doesn’t sound quite good.” Dean makes an annoyed smirk.

“No, Dean it’s—” He leans himself to approach Dean, so anyone else can’t hear him. “If Jo calls you to do something in the night it is because she wants to punish you.” He explains whispering.

“Oh, crap.” A small shiver roves his body.

Cas stops leaning on the table to be sitting. “But I don’t know why, I mean, I don’t think you have done something she could be mad at, right?”

“Right. I guess.” Dean is trying to remember everything he has done in the past days. He has done nothing wrong. Maybe Jo wants him in her bedroom for other reason. He must be insane if he truly thinks that. Maybe she wants him to punish him for when she asked her where he could heal his wound; that was the only logical thing.

Dean looks at Cas, who is staring at him with his worried eyes. “Don’t worry, Cas.” Dean starts to say. “I’ll be fine.”

“Dean—” Cas starts to say in a broken voice.

“Don’t worry, it’s going to be okay.”

Dean keeps eating his dinner and Cas half-closes his eyes. Dean looks very self-secure, very strong. Cas misses feeling all of that, but he has been a slave for a long time that he doesn’t know where all his strengths went to. He just wishes that Jo doesn’t punish him and if she does, he hopes that she won’t be really hard with him.

As Jo ordered, Dean goes to her bedroom after finishing his dinner. He isn’t scared, what else can he be taken off? All he had in his life was gone, now he doesn’t have anything, he has nothing left to lose, so he isn’t scared of whatever Jo is going to make. Although he is a bit nervous, he isn’t going to deny that, but he is going to hide it from her. He is going to keep being strong, like he has always been doing it.

Dean is in Jo’s bedroom, standing, waiting for her. She arrives some minutes later, with a creepy smile of her face. Dean hates that smile. She gets in the room and places herself in front of him, looking at Dean. Then, Dean feels how somebody hits him in the head and everything fades into black.

When Dean wakes up, his sight is blurry and his head hurts. He closes his eyes strongly, trying to recover his normal sight, when he opens them again, his sight is still blurry, but not as much as before. He is lying in Jo’s bed and he is tied to it. Four leather belts are tying his extremities. He tries to get untied, but he can’t.

“Oh, you are awake, good.” Jo says. She is approaching the bed, she is only wearing her underwear, and then Dean realizes that he is only wearing his boxers. “I had to call Alastair to get you hit in the head because I knew that you weren’t going to like the idea of this and I didn’t want to fight with you or use my stun gun against you.” She sits above Dean, making a sweet but creepy smile. She caresses Dean’s nipple. Her hand is cold and Dean hates that she is touching him. He shakes his hips in order to get her off him, but he can’t. “Dean, you aren’t going to get me out of you.” She says with a hussy smile.

“But I can try.” Dean says challenging.

Jo’s smile gets bigger. “I like how reckless you are.” She leans to kiss him, but Dean moves his face. Jo grunts and with both of her hands, he cups Dean’s face, nailing Dean’s cheeks, forcing his face to stay still and she kisses him. Dean hates that kiss, it is sick, it is slimy and it is disgusting. It is like poison. “When Gordon brought you here and I saw you, I thought you were really hot.” She says caressing Dean’s cheek.

“I thought I was just flesh for you. That you didn’t like to touch a slave, it isn’t worthy for you, blondie.” He smirks.  
Jo tightens her nails in Dean’s cheeks in a painful way. It is burning Dean’s face despite the coldness of Jo’s fingers. “Don’t you dare to talk me like that.”

“Or what? You will punish me?” Dean lets out a tired laugh and Jo’s eyes are filled with anger. “I’d rather be punished than to be touched by you.”

“We can do this in a good or a bad way. I am going to get your cock hard and I will fuck you.” She says releasing her hands from Dean’s face.

Jo moves herself, rubbing her butt with Dean’s crotch. Then, she starts to kiss Dean’s neck. Dean grunts; he hates every single kiss she gives, a cold feeling runs his body every time Jo touches him. It is like an icicle was getting behind his skin, ripping his body and hurting him in an awful way. Dean feels like he is made of glass and with every single touch of Jo, he feels like he was being broke in smithereens. Dean shakes his body, trying to stop her, but he can’t. Jo keeps kissing him, now she is in his chest and one of her hands is taking down his boxers. Dean is really angry; he doesn’t want her to touch him or to kiss him and even less to have sex with her.

“No matter whatever you do Dean.” Jo says with a whisper that it shivers Dean’s body. “I am going to get you hard.” She says holding Dean’s cock.

Dean makes a furious grimace as Jo starts to move her hand along his shaft. She is enjoying touching Dean’s cock, but Dean is suffering with every single stroke because he hates to be touched by her. In that moment, Dean realizes that she is going to keep doing that until he is fully hard, but he doesn’t want to be inside Jo, so he forces himself not to get hard. It is a bit difficult, Jo is very insistent and she isn’t making him a lot of pain, but he has to concentrate that he doesn’t want that, he has to focus on the sickness he is feeling with every stroke Jo makes. He isn’t going to give her the satisfaction of sex, because Dean is only flesh for her, just a slave, and although for some moments his cock wants to go hard, Dean won’t let it go like that. She can’t take away his dignity. He isn’t going to give her any pleasure, he is exposed, but he isn’t going to have sex with her.

His cock is still quiet and it is starting to hurt and to itch. Jo is looking at it, frustrated and annoyed, she is showing his teeth with the angry grimace she is making.

“How aren’t you hard already?!” Jo asks really furious.

Dean smirks. “Do you think that because you know how to get any other man hard, that is going to work for me?” He says with pride. Jo gives him a burning look. “I don’t want to fuck you and I can control my cock when—” But he can finish the sentence, because Jo slaps him.

“You are going to get hard or I will punish you.”

“Then, punish me. It is better that fucking you, bitch.”

Dean shouldn’t have called her bitch, because that made her really angry and she picked a stun gun and Dean was electroshocked, losing his consciousness.

When he opens his eyes, he is in another room, a dark one. He has his arms tied on the ceiling by a rope. His sight is again blurry and his head hurts a bit. He is now wearing his jeans too and Jo is fully dressed, looking at him.

“It is a shame that I have to do this to your gorgeous body, Dean.” Jo starts to say. She is glaring at him and she has a whip in her hands. “But you give me no choice.” She turns to face Dean’s back. “You have to learn a lesson.”

Dean closes his eyes because he knows what it is coming. The whip hits hard and fast against his back, but he doesn’t scream. He isn’t going to scream in front of her, because she dies for hearing him screaming, so Dean only grunts and tries so hard not to scream.

Jo keeps hitting the whip against Dean’s back, trying to hit in the same place until the skin breaks, until a wound appears and the blood starts to run. Once a wound is made, she shakes the whip to make another one.

Dean feels his whole body too heavy and the pain is starting to be unbearable, but he doesn’t scream, although there are moments when he wants to scream until his lungs burn, asking for more air. Jo hits him harder every time, trying to make Dean scream, but she can’t, she realizes it, so she just keep hitting him until he has several wounds, until Dean is really tired. She can’t make him scream, but at least, she can cause him pain.

Dean can feel how a new wound appears with every whiplash, how his skin rips and how the blood starts to fall down his back, painting it with red shades. He can feel how hotter and redder his back is getting with every single second.

After several moments, Jo puts her whip somewhere Dean can’t see and then, she unties Dean. His arms fall tiredly and hurt. Jo leaves the room without saying anything, switching off the lights in the room. Dean picks his clothes but he doesn’t put any of them on. He is too tired for that, so he just walks out of the room, with his socks, t-shirt, shirt and boots on his hands and he goes to his bedroom.

The bedroom seems to be further than ever and every step he takes, he feels more tired, more hurt. After some long moments, he arrives at his bedroom, finally. He opens the door and sees that the lights are on and Cas is sitting in his bed, who looks at Dean in a horrified and worried way when he hears the door opening.

“Dean!” Cas says approaching Dean. He looks at his back. “Oh no.” He says sad and devastated. “Sit in your bed Dean, I’m going to heal you.” He says trying to sound sweet and calm, but he is nervous and horrified by Jo’s action.

Dean sits in his bed as Cas goes to the bathroom to pick everything he needs to heal Dean. It is great for Dean to sit in the bed after the punishment, he feels too tired and hurt. Cas arrives from the bathroom quickly and sits next to Dean and he faces Dean’s back. He starts to clean the wounds with a wet cloth. Dean grunts because it smarts.

“It is going to take me a little bit.” Cas says. “She has made you a lot of wounds.”

“I know.” Dean simply says with a drained voice. It is nice to feel the cloth cleaning the blood in his back. Cas is doing it in a gentle way, trying to hurt as less as possible Dean’s red back.

“Why did she do this to you?” He asks confused and worried.

Dean takes a deep breath. He wishes that everything that has happened in Jo’s bedroom and in the punishment room was a nightmare. “She called me to her bedroom because she wanted to fuck me.”

Cas stops cleaning Dean’s wounds and looks at Dean terrified and worried. Dean turns his face to see Cas’ eyes; they are glassy. Then, Cas looks down and keeps cleaning Dean’s wounds.

“I—” Cas starts to say, but he doesn’t know what to say exactly. He takes a deep breath. “Damn it, I wasn’t expecting her to do that.”

“Neither did I.” Dean says sighing. He can still feel Jo’s cold hands on his body, like shadows that don’t want to leave his body. He focuses on Cas’ gentle touch. Cas is cleaning his wound with one hand, but the other is touching Dean’s shoulder, gripping it softly and it is quite warm. “Although since I arrived, she has looked at me with desire. I don’t know why, I mean, I am just a slave to her, why does she want me in a sexual way?” He says bewildered.

“Because you don’t look like anybody else in this country.” Castiel answers. He takes another cloth because that one he is using is soaked with a lot of blood. 

Dean turns his head to give Cas a confused gaze. “What do you mean?”

Cas raises his eyes to meet Dean’s. “I mean that you don’t look like people from here. You have stunning eyes. I haven’t met anyone with eyes as green as yours. Also, there are your freckles. People in the Brown Lands don’t usually have freckles, and if they have, they don’t have as many as you. You are exotic.”

“Exotic? Really?”

Cas shrugs. “Yes, why not? I haven’t met anyone with your physical characteristics.”

“It is the first time someone tells me I’m exotic.” He huffs a laugh.

Dean raises both of his brows and turns his face to look at the small window while Cas keeps cleaning his wounds.

“Dean—” Cas starts to say after some moments of silence, but he bites his lower lip.

Dean turns his face to look at him. “Yes, Cas?”

“Never mind.” He shakes his head and keeps cleaning the last wound. They are still bleeding, but only a bit.

“No, tell me.” Dean insists. Cas searches with his gaze Dean’s eyes, showing that he is expecting him to continue.

Cas sighs. “Did you two actually—?” He asks shyly. He is sure that Dean doesn’t want to talk about it, but Cas wants to know it.

“No.” Dean shakes his head and Cas shows surprise. Dean turns his face to look down at his lap. “She tried, but I didn’t want to have sex with her, and although she was insisting, I didn’t get hard, and that pissed her off.” Dean explains.

“So, that’s why she punished you, right? Because you didn’t have an erection?”

“Right, although I called her bitch also.”

“You did what?!” Cas shouts so altered that it shocks Dean a little bit. “Are you insane? She could have done something worse than this for calling her that!”

“Take it easy, Cas.” Dean says still shocked. “I know I shouldn’t have called her that.” He sighs. “The word got out of my mouth.”

“Yes, I know I—” Cas starts to say. He swallows. “Sorry for shouting at you.” Cas apologizes ashamed.

“It’s okay, Cas.”

Castiel is now opening the jar with his homemade antiseptic. He dips his fingers in the jelly and then, he rubs it in one of Dean’s wounds. It is cold and it smarts a little bit, but Dean doesn’t care, because he knows that after some minutes, he won’t feel too much sore and it will help his wound to heal.

“Is this a normal thing in the Brown Lands? That a person with a white collar wants to have sex with one with a black one?” Dean asks intrigued.

“More than you think.” Castiel answers. His voice is sadder than ever and it even sounds hurt. “I can’t believe that you managed to not have sex with her.”

“Yeah, well, it might sound crazy, but I’d rather be punished than having sex with her.”

Castiel doesn’t say anything after that. He keeps his mind focused on Dean’s wounds, covering them with the jelly. Dean grunts sometimes and he fists the sheets a little bit, but he can hold the pain. That sore is nothing compared with Jo’s whip.

“Why do you do this, Cas?” Dean asks. “Healing me, taking care of me?”

“Because you are a good man, Dean.” Castiel answers and Dean makes a confused face. “I told you before. You are different.” Cas is now putting jelly in the last wound. “You aren’t like the other slaves or like anyone with a white collar. You think in a different way, you are really different, and I mean different in a good way.” He says hurriedly. He feels a bit nervous for telling Dean all of that.

“Yeah, I know you mean it in a good way, don’t worry.” Dean smiles.

“I know you for just a couple of weeks, but in those weeks, you have showed me that you are a good person, that there’s humanity in you, something that people in the Brown Lands lack.” He picks some bands and starts to cut them in pieces with his hands easily to cover Dean’s wounds. “In all those weeks, you haven’t threated me in a bad way, you have been really nice to me. You could have been like anyone else, but you didn’t. And honestly, I have never met someone like you before. You have all those good things that people in the Brown Lands don’t have.”

Dean turns his face to look at Cas. He is really blushed and Dean is it too, because he has never heard someone telling him any of that before. “Thanks for that Cas.” Dean says shyly.

Cas stares at Dean and makes a shy smile. “You are welcome. And sorry for making you feel a bit uncomfortable.”

Dean lets out a laugh. It’s been a long time since he laughed like that, it is a loud laugh, but it is a true laugh, not a short or a forced one. “Y’know, I kind of feel the same with you too.” He confesses.

“Really?” He asks with a confused gaze and kitting his eyebrows together.

“Really. I mean, you are the only one who looks at me in a human way, not as if I was flesh.” Dean starts to say. He is looking at his lap again, feeling how Cas is putting bands in his back. He has a small smile drawn on his lips. Dean sucks with words, but he needs to tell Cas all of that. “You could have been a dick, like anybody else in here, but you have been nice to me, and I really thank you that.” Both smile. “I suck at talking man, but I really mean all of that, just thanks, Cas, you are a good man too.”

Cas blushes even more. “Thank you, Dean.”

They don’t say anything else for some moments. Dean has a tiny smile on his face and Cas too. They aren’t used to hear all those things from anyone, an even less in that house. They really appreciate each other’s words.

“Done.” Castiel says when all the wounds are healed and bandaged. “Are you feeling better?” He asks picking all the stuff he has used.

“It still hurts, but not so much.” Dean answers as he turns his whole body to face Cas. He looks at the cloths, all soaked with blood. “Thank you so much Cas.”

“You are welcome, Dean.” He stands up and goes to the bathroom to leave everything he has used in their respective place while Dean takes off his jeans and he puts on a t-shirt. “Try to sleep in any position that isn’t with your back in the mattress.” Castiel suggests when he gets out of the bathroom.

“I will try.” He is getting in the bed, laying aside and covering himself.

“Goodnight Dean.”

“Goodnight Cas.”

Castiel switches off the lamps and gets himself in the bedroom while Dean thanks in his mind to have Cas as a roommate in that awful house, because if it wasn’t for Cas, Dean is sure that night would have been worse.


	4. Insomniac

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks a lot for reading! I didn't thanked you last time. And thanks for the kudos, the comments, the subscriptions and the bookmarks :)

Every single morning, when Dean wakes up, Castiel asks about how his back is. It has been just a couple of days since Jo punished Dean, and Dean’s wounds are almost healed, but Castiel still concerns about Dean, something that Dean appreciates. Even Cas replaced the old bandages when they were too wasted.

Although the wounds are almost healed, it is still hard for Dean to work, he has to lie on his back while he is working in the garage most of the time, so it is quite uncomfortable; the wounds still burn a little bit. He wonders how bad he could be feeling in that moment if his roommate wasn’t Castiel. He is lucky for having Cas in that house, for sharing the room with Cas, because honestly, if it wasn’t for Cas, Dean knows that his time in that house would be worse.

They only have each other in that place. They don’t know a lot about each other, but they like the few things they know about each other. They found in each other a small oasis in that devastating dessert. And they are really thankful for that, because after spending most of the day feeling like shit, when they are eating together or in their bedroom, they don’t feel as bad as usually, they feel quite good. There isn’t pain between them, there aren’t any of those twisted looks that everybody else in that house has, there aren’t creepy smiles, there isn’t that cold and military voice, and it is an actual relief for both of them. It isn’t happiness, but it is something and Dean really likes it.

All the days are the same, routine after routine, and Dean feels more and more tired about that place. The only exception goes for Castiel, but despite of him, Dean feels frustrated, because he wants to get out of that house, he wants to get back to his home, but he can’t leave, it is impossible. His last hopes are burning and soon, they will join the ashes of the first hopes Dean had. This isn’t his life; he can’t even call this life. He feels devastated, angry, frustrated and broken. He can’t stop thinking about the life he used to have. He is pretty sure that he isn’t going to have that life again and it distresses him too much.  
Dean is lying in his bed. It has been several hours since he and Cas went to bed. Before they went to bed, Cas looked at Dean’s back, to check his wounds; they were completely healed, so Cas took off the remaining bandages. Now there were only a few scars.

Dean turns his face to see Cas, although he can’t see him too well, the room is dark, and the only light that there is, comes from the small window, but that night is dark, so there isn’t a lot of light leaking. Cas seems to be sleeping deeply and Dean envies him. It has been several nights since Dean has slept. His mind doesn’t want to give up those frustrating thoughts, but sooner or later, he falls asleep, but this night, it is being impossible for him.

He looks at the ceiling and covers himself a little bit more. It is always quite cold in that bedroom, but the sheets and the quilt warm him enough. Dean takes a deep breath. He wants to fall asleep, to fall in the dream’s world so he can run away from all the crap for a couple of hours, until the alarm clock takes him away from dreamland and carries him to the painful reality. He needs to fall asleep, he doesn’t want to be tired the whole day, because if he is tired, he can make something wrong, something that will get Jo angry and Dean doesn’t want to get punished again.

The quilt and the sheets make a soft sound every time Dean rolls in the bed. He is trying to find a comfortable posture that will lead him to fall asleep. He rolls and he rolls and he can’t fall sleep.

Dean hates being awake when it is time to sleep. When he is awake, surrounded by the darkness, with the only sound of his breathing, and this time with Castiel’s breathing as well, he feels really alone. Everyone is sleeping, having dreams and he is the only one awake. The sound of the night is too quiet that Dean can almost hear his heart beating. He closes his eyes, trying to surrender to the darkness, to join in the silent night, but he can’t, his mind keeps working, thinking about all that crap Dean has in his head. No matter what Dean does, his mind doesn’t shut up.

He is starting to feel frustrated and takes an angry deep breath as he rubs his face with one of his hands.

“Can’t you sleep?” Castiel asks in a quiet voice.

Dean shakes in his bed. “Damn it Cas! Don’t do that! You almost gave me a heart attack!” Dean yells shocked.

“My apologies, Dean.” He apologizes in a sweet and regretful way. Dean sometimes can’t understand why Cas can be so sweet to him. He told Dean he was a good man, that he wasn’t like the other slaves; he knows he isn’t like the rest of slaves, but Dean doesn’t think he is a good man. He is the most broken person in the world. Why the hell is he thinking about this right now?

Dean sighs. “Just— I thought you were sleeping.” His voice doesn’t show shock or rage. Dean lies aside and he switches on the lamp in his bedside table to see Cas, who has really messy hair and when Dean switches on the light, he half-closes his eyes, appearing a few crinkles in the corner or his eyes. Dean likes when Cas looks like that.

“I was. But I woke up and after several moments I heard you rolling on the bed and blowing.” He answers as he accommodates his head on the pillow.

“You can’t sleep either?”

Castiel shakes his head. “It happens to me once in a while.” He looks at Dean’s green eyes. He likes to stare at them; they are too green, too gorgeous. There is a huge forest in them. “What about you?”

“My mind doesn’t want to shut the hell up.” He says annoyed. Cas makes a tiny sweet smile. “I have been like these for a couple of days.”

Dean takes a deep breath and looks at the floor. He hears how Cas pulls the sheets up, so they cover his shoulder. One of the things Dean likes about Cas is that, sometimes, they don’t need to talk about anything, they can just stay in silence without feeling awkward.

After some moments, Dean looks back at Cas, who is looking at the window, then, he moves his eyes to meet Dean’s and he makes a shy smile. Then, Castiel looks at the floor.

“Don’t you ever get tired of everything in this house?” Dean asks after a while.

Castiel doesn’t move his sight from the floor, but he raises both of his brows. “Every single day when I wake up.” Cas sighs. Now he finds Dean’s gaze. “But—” He takes a deep breath. “I have been a slave for so long, that being tired of everything is just another thing I have to live with. It’s part of the routine. Part of me.” Cas can see that there is sadness in Dean’s eyes and even a bit of pity. He thinks he should stop talking about this; it isn’t the happiest topic, but Dean asked, so he just keeps talking. “You try to fight, to find a way to get out of this, but, there is a moment when you are tired of fighting, of giving your last strengths to something that isn’t going to happen, that you just burn yourself until tiredness and frustration are just part of you.”

There is a silence between them. Dean feels too bad after hearing those words. What Castiel just said is what Dean is feeling and thinking. He doesn’t want to end up feeling tired and frustrated for the rest of his life. He is feeling a bit dizzy for all those words. He shouldn’t feel like that, they were just words, but sometimes words hurt and this time, they hurt Dean.

Dean takes another deep breath and looks at Cas, who looks quite broken. He is snuggled behind the quilt and the sheets, with one sheet covering his nose.

“Sorry for the depressing talk.” Cas apologizes looking at Dean.

“It’s okay, Cas.” Dean says trying to sound casual. “It is going to be a long night for both of us.” He makes an annoying grimace. “You don’t have a cream or whatever that you made with plants that help us to fall asleep, right?” He says with a weird smirk.

Castiel shows his mouth, which makes an acid smile. “I wish I had.”

Dean sighs and rubs his face. His eyes hurt a little bit. His eyelids want to be closed and his whole body needs to surrender to slumber, but after hearing what Cas said, he is sure he won’t fall asleep, because he is going to think about every single word Cas said.

He doesn’t know how much time he has spent thinking, because when Dean looks again at Castiel, he is sleeping. The quilt and the sheets go up and down slowly with every single breathing Cas takes. His expression is soft, but at the same time it is sad. Cas is most of the time with a sad face and Dean hasn’t heard him laugh properly; Dean hasn’t laughed properly either.

Dean takes a deep breath and switches off the lamp. He snuggles in the bed and closes his eyes, trying to fall asleep, but he can’t; as he predicted, his mind is thinking about everything Cas said. The more he thinks about it, the worst Dean feels.

A long time pass, more than a couple of hours, but Dean finally falls asleep. A bad dream is the journey he has in dreamland. Everything is very blurry and confused, but most of it hurt him, but not in a hard way, at least.

The alarm clock takes him away from dreamland and Dean feels even more tired than last night. He buries his face in the pillow. He knows the alarm is as loud as always, but this morning it sounds even louder and it hammers Dean’s head. Castiel stops the alarm clock while he yawns and tells Dean good morning, who makes a grunt and mumbles a good morning.

The rest of the day goes as usual, going to the bathroom to pee, to shave, to shower, going for breakfast, going to the garage to work, going for lunch, going back to the garage, going for dinner and finally, going to bed. The only difference about that day is that Dean couldn’t stop thinking about all his crap. And the night is like those last nights. Dean gets in bed, rolls several times because he can’t fall asleep, his mind doesn’t want to shut up and after some long hours, he falls asleep, but he sleeps for less than three hours, and once again, the alarm clock hammers his head.

And it goes like that the next day. Dean is too tired and the circles in his eyes are starting to be more and more noticeable. His insomnia is starting to become a problem, not because he might do something wrong while he is working on the garage, he doesn’t care about that, it is about how tired he is, about that he is starting to give up and he is losing the last strengths he has left. He doesn’t want that, he wants to keep fighting, but the insomnia is killing him and he can’t think right, he can’t carry on.

“Dean, are you okay?” Castiel asks.

Dean looks around him. They are in the bedroom. It is night. He doesn’t remember going to the bedroom. He remembers having dinner with Cas, they talked a bit, but not much. This insomnia is making him to lose the sense of time.

He looks at Cas, who is looking at him worried and sitting in his own bed. Dean is sitting in his own bed too. 

“I—” Dean starts to say. He is even too tired to even speak. He rubs his face. He doesn’t want to talk, he hates talking, but there’s something he wants to ask Cas since the night they talked. “How could you give up?” Dean asks.

Cas opens his mouth, but without saying a word. He doesn’t understand what Dean meant. His eyes narrow. “I’m sorry, Dean, what are you talking about?”

“The other night.” Dean starts to explain. His eyes are tired but they show intrigue. “When I asked if you ever felt tired about this place. You told me that you ended up giving up. I mean, why would you do that? It is like you don’t want to live anymore, that you just accept that you are a slave, that you agree with everything they are doing to you, that you don’t care.” Dean knows that his lack of sleeping is making him to say all those things. He knows he should stop, but a part of him doesn’t let him. He is too tired to fight against that part, although he knows he should shut up. But he dies to know the answer to that, because maybe, Dean will end up like Castiel, given up, and Dean doesn’t want that.

There isn’t that sweetness in Cas’ eyes anymore. There is disbelief and a bit of anger. “Dean, you don’t have any idea of what you are talking about.” He says fiercely but calm.

“I know what I am talking about, Cas. I don’t understand how you could just give up. You are the only one in this place who seems to have a brain; however, you are the one who has surrender to all of this. You always look like you don’t want to keep on living, you just keep doing what you have to do here because you don’t have any other choice, but you aren’t living, you are like a hammer and—”

“Enough!” Cas yells. Dean shocks. He looks at Cas, who is fisting the sheets and there’s rage in his whole face. Dean has never seen Castiel this furious. “You don’t have the right to tell me any of those things, Dean!” Castiel yells again. He feels hurt by all the things Dean has just said, because Dean has told him things that Castiel knows, things that he has buried a long time ago, and Dean doesn’t know anything about Castiel’s life; Dean can’t tell him all those things and Cas feels hurt because he never expected Dean to tell him those things ever. He has lived with a lot of pain and it hurts a lot that Dean is the one bringing up all that pain. He is sure that if anyone else would have said those words, he wouldn’t feel as hurt as he is now.

“You don’t have to react like that.” Dean says defensive.

“No, Dean, you—” He lets out a pant. “You have been here for more than a month, and you don’t have any idea of what it is like to be a slave!”

“I don’t?!” Dean is yelling too. That hurt Dean. He is been a slave only for more than a month, but he knows a lot of things about being it. “I used to be free! I’ve been punished! I—”

“That’s nothing, Dean!” Castiel interrupts. “You are strong, I know that! But not everyone is like you! You are lucky that you are in this house!”

“How can you say that?!” Dean yells horrified. “You don’t even believe that!”

“You don’t have any idea of what kind of people are in the Brown Lands.” Castiel says with a scary calmness. His voice is broken and dark. Dean feels a shiver with that tune. “I know this is a horrible place, but I can tell you that there are much worse places than this house.” He keeps telling. Castiel doesn’t break the eye contact with Dean. He wants to make Dean see how truly his words are. “You don’t know anything, Dean. Yes, you have been punished, yes, you have been almost raped one night, I know all of that is hard, I know it, but I can tell you that I have suffered worse things. You ask me why I gave up, why I look like I am not living, why I am like a hammer. I am almost sure that you won’t find that answer in this place, maybe you will find it, but I don’t think so. You should stop complaining about how I feel, because you know nothing and you should realize that this isn’t the worst that could happen to you.”

“So you just want me to accept all of this?” Dean asks irritated.

“Do whatever the hell you want Dean.”

Dean looks at him annoyed. He doesn’t like the tune in Cas’ voice. Meanwhile, Castiel gets up and he is going to get inside the bed. He is too tired of that conversation. He doesn’t want to talk anymore.

“And you are just going to avoid all of this by getting in the bed?” Dean asks angry.

“Shut up and leave me alone.” Castiel says pissed off. He switches off his lamp and lies facing the wall, so he doesn’t have to see Dean.

Castiel feels broken and a few tears fall from his eyes, but he doesn’t sob. He buries himself behind the sheets and closes his eyes with strength, as if with that, he could fall asleep easier.

Dean is still sitting is his bed. He is angry and pissed off. How could Cas tell him that he should thank that he is in that house? Did he go insane? Dean doesn’t understand it. This place is awful. Dean sighs in an annoyed way and he switches the lamp off. He gets in his bed after that. 

Like what has been happening during the last nights, he can’t sleep, but this time, he is thinking about his argument with Cas. Dean can’t fucking believe anything Cas said. Dean is lucky to be in this place, seriously? How could anyone think that? Dean feels betrayed, because he never expected Cas to say any of that.

Morning arrives, and soon, time to wake up. The alarm clock sounds and Cas stops it, like always. Dean is expecting a good morning, but Cas doesn’t say anything and he gets into the bathroom. Cas is still pissed off, and Dean is it too.

They have breakfast together, because neither of them wants to be near the other slaves, but they don’t say a word to each other. They don’t even look at each other; they are focused on their own breakfast. Castiel eats less than usual, so he leaves the table before Dean and he goes to the garden by himself. They always used to walk together to their respective places of work, but that morning they won’t. Dean is too pissed off to feel a bit hurt by that.

Dean can feel how Azazel and Alastair are looking at him, because they know that Castiel and Dean are always doing things together, but this morning they aren’t. It amuses them, but Dean ignores them; he isn’t going to tell them anything about himself or Cas. And neither is he going to do or say anything because he knows he will end up punching them. He just drinks his coffee and then, he goes to the garage.

While he is working on a black 1947 Ford Coupe hot rod, he can’t stop thinking about last night’s argument. He couldn’t even sleep properly because of that fight. Dean is too tired of all the shit in that house. He has been turned into flesh, his freedom has been taken away from him, he has to work like a prisoner, he even was almost raped by Jo and then, he was punished… And Castiel wants him to thank all of that? That’s fucking nuts.

Dean feels angry, annoyed, pissed off, disgusted, betrayed and hurt. And having all those feelings mixed with the symptoms caused by the insomnia, it is a completely chaos in his mind and in his body. Dean is now feeling like shit. Mentally and physically. Everything is too much and he doesn’t know how much time he is going to last like this. 

He thinks it is time for lunch, so he goes to the kitchen. He doesn’t want to wait for Cas. He doesn’t know if Cas will show up to tell him it’s time for lunch. He doesn’t want to know it. So he leaves the garage and goes to the kitchen. Luckily, lunch has just been served, so he isn’t soon or late. He starts to eat and when a couple of minutes have passed, Cas arrives. He sits in front of Dean, without looking at him. Castiel’s face is rough. He doesn’t say anything, neither Dean does, who finishes earlier than Cas and he leaves the kitchen to keep working on the car. He wonders for a moment if Castiel feels a small pain when Dean leaves instead of waiting for him to go together. But he removes that thought quickly.

The afternoon goes like the morning, Dean working on the car and thinking. He leaves the garage when it is dinner time. Cas appears after a while. They don’t look at each other, they don’t say anything, so they just eat. Dean goes to the bedroom before Cas. He gets in the bed before Cas arrives and pretends he is sleeping. He hears the usual sounds Cas makes when he brushes his teeth, the sounds he makes as he takes off his shoes, his socks and his jeans and the sound of the sheets and the quilt when Cas gets in the bed.

Cas falls asleep easily, but Dean can’t sleep again. There are too many things in his head and it doesn’t matter what he tries to do to get out those things; it doesn’t work. Dean does the same he does all those last nights until slumber decides to reach him.  
The alarm clock wakes up Dean, and like yesterday, Cas stops it and he doesn’t say anything. Dean is starting to feel disturbed by Castiel’s behavior. But he isn’t going to be the one who starts talking. That must be Cas. Dean is too proud and he knows he doesn’t have to apologize; he said a few things he shouldn’t, but Castiel was the one who crossed the line too far.

They go to have breakfast, at the same time. The door doesn’t unlock until it’s 7:30, so Cas has to wait in the bedroom until the door is unlocked. On their way to the kitchen they don’t say anything, and they don’t say anything while they are having breakfast either.

“Problems in paradise?” Azazel jokes and the other slaves laugh.

“Shut up, Azazel.” Castiel warns. Dean knows that Castiel is not in a mood for any of that. He isn’t it either.

“Oh, our little Castiel is angry.” He laughs. “What happened between you two?”

“It’s not of your business.” He mutters. Dean raises his sight from his breakfast to look at Cas. He is really pissed off. More than when they argued.

“C’mon, Castiel, we want to know—”

“Shut the hell up!” Castiel yells. Everybody goes in silence because they have never seen Castiel that angry before.

“You shouldn’t talk to us in that tune.” Alastair says. Castiel lets out a huff and Alastair arches a brow. “You should be more careful if you don’t want to get punished.” 

When Dean hears that word, he looks at Cas. He is pissed off with Cas, but he doesn’t want him to get punished. He will never want that, no matter how angry he can be with Cas. 

“It seems that when you are punished, your behavior is milder. You become more domestic.” Alastair continues with a huge smile.

Castiel gets up. “You know what?” Cas says pissed off. “Go and fuck yourself.” And he leaves the kitchen.

Dean watches how Castiel leaves. He knows that Alastair really pissed him off. Castiel is one of those guys who don’t swear, he only does it when he is really angry. Dean never saw Cas like that; his face was pure rage and pain; there wasn’t that usual calm or sadness in his blue eyes, there was a freaking storm in them. Alastair just told Cas that he should be domesticated, as if Cas was a fucking pet.

Dean has lost his appetite, but he forces himself to keep eating a few more. Then, he goes to the garage. While he is going there, he looks at the garden, searching with his gaze for Cas, but he doesn’t see him, so Dean keeps walking until he is in the garage.

While he is looking at the engine of the Ford, Dean is thinking about Cas. He told him that he suffered things worse than Dean. In that moment, Dean realizes he’s been a dick. He shouldn’t have told Cas all those things. Cas has been a slave for several years, Dean doesn’t know how many, but they are a few, and Cas must have been through a lot of horrible things.

Maybe that’s why Cas looks so given up, because he has been hurt so many times that he doesn’t have more strengths left. Dean sighs. He doesn’t know Cas’ past, but for the way he reacted when Dean and him argued and the way he did it in the kitchen after Alastair’s words, Dean knows that Cas had to suffer a lot, and Dean didn’t even think about it for a single moment. He was too focused on himself, that he didn’t saw what Cas could feel.

Cas has been so nice with him all the time, taking care of him, helping him, and Dean thanked him by telling him all those things and being selfish and the biggest dick ever. Cas doesn’t deserve any of that.

Dean kicks one of the wheels of the car in a frustrated way. That fucking insomnia made him tell things that he shouldn’t have said. He hopes that Cas can forgive him, because Cas is the only friend he has there. Fuck, Castiel is the only person who can make Dean fell less shitty. They haven’t talked for two days and Dean misses him. He misses talking with his friend, walking together, seeing that Cas arrives at the garage to tell him that it’s time to go and eat. He misses a lot Cas.

Dean touches the collar on his neck. Sometimes he forgets he has it. He can’t take it off; it has become part of him. The leather is cold under his fingers. If it wasn’t for Cas, Dean knows that he would have gone insane or something worse. He needs to apologize.

Lunch time arrives and Dean goes to the kitchen. He knows that Cas won’t appear in the garage, so he will just wait for him in the kitchen. But Castiel doesn’t show up. Dean waits for him, but Cas doesn’t appear. He is worried about him, he hopes that he isn’t being punished or something. He wishes that nothing wrong happens to Cas.

Dean goes back to the garage, but before, he seeks with his sight for Cas in the garden, but once again, he doesn’t see him. He keeps walking, with a small fear growing inside of him. He hopes that Cas is all right.

Suppertime arrives and this time, Cas shows up. Dean is relieved to see him again. He looks the same as this morning, so Dean thinks he hasn’t been punished.

Dean isn’t going to apologize in the kitchen, he doesn’t want Alastair, Azazel or any of the other slaves to start saying stupid things, so he just eats in silence, trying to look at Cas discretely, in order to know how he is feeling. Cas’ eyes seem angry, but not as much as this morning, but they are tired.

Castiel eats less than usual and leaves the table soon. Dean gobbles his food as fast as he can, because he wants to arrive at the bedroom before Cas gets in the bed. So he leaves the kitchen and goes to his bedroom faster than ever. He opens the door and sees that Cas is standing and taking his shirt off.

“Cas.” Dean starts to say as he locks the door. Cas looks at him in an angry way, but also in a confused one, because he doesn’t know why Dean is talking to him.

Dean approaches Cas until he is standing in front of him. “I want to apologize for everything I said the other day.” Dean starts to say. He is a bit nervous.

“Why?” Castiel asks. His voice isn’t angry, is more like broken. “Because of what happened this morning in the kitchen?”

“No.” He says confused. Dean doesn’t know where Cas wants to go with that. “I mean—” He takes a deep breath. “That made me think.”

“About what?” He says serious.

“About that I shouldn’t have tell you any of that. I don’t even know why I said any of that. I had a lot of trouble with falling asleep and it’s making me to do and say things that I shouldn’t. I know it isn’t an excuse.” Dean explains a bit fast. Cas looks at him with attention, with his eyes filled with bit of sadness and bit of rage. “But, you were right. You— Oh crap, I suck at these things.” He bites his lip in a nervous way and looks at Cas, who is looking expectant. “The point is that, I was selfish. I was a dick. You have been really good to me when I was at my worst moments. You have helped me always. You didn’t deserve any of that shit I said. I just— I never thought that you could have been through things and I—”

“I know.” Cas simply says. His eyes aren’t filled with rage anymore. Dean thanks that Cas interrupted him, because he has a really bad time at expressing feelings and he was a bit scared of fucking things up a little bit more with his talking. He definitely sucks at talking.

“I’m really sorry Cas. I was a dick.”

“Yes, well, I was it too.” Cas says looking down in an ashamed way. He sighs and looks at Dean. “You have been through a lot here too, I shouldn’t have told you to thank that you are here. I was angry and I—”

“I know.”

Cas makes a shy smile and Dean does it too. “I am very sorry too, Dean.”

Dean nods and takes a deep breath. “I missed you.” Dean says. And he blushes because he didn’t intend to say that, it got out from his mouth.

Cas can’t help blushing too. “Me too.” He confesses. Both of them blush even more. They look like a pair of little kids, but Dean is glad about it. It is nice to see Cas like always, without a furious face on Dean.

“So, friends again?” Dean asks shyly, with a tiny smirk. He always does that when he feels awkward.

Cas smiles. Dean missed that sweet smile he can see once in a while. “Friends again.” Cas says happily.

“Hey, Cas.”

“Yes?”

Dean swallows. “If you ever need to talk about anything, I will listen to you. Don’t doubt about it.”

Cas feels heartwarming by those words and his sight looks shiny. “Thank you for that, Dean.”

Dean makes a pretty smile, that one that Cas missed for those two days. Sometimes Castiel asks himself how a man that he knows for less than two months can have such important impact in his life.

“Try to get some sleep, the circles on your eyes look terrible.” Castiel says nicely as Dean goes to his bed.

“I will try.” Dean says frustrated.

They get undressed, only leaving their t-shirts and their boxers, then, they get in their beds, feeling relieved. They say goodnight to each other and they switch off the lights, and, for the first time in several days, Dean’s mind is in silence, he feels good because he and Cas have made up, and after several days with insomnia, that night, Dean sleeps better than ever.


	5. Paint

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I'm going to post chapter every Thursday. So every week on Thursday, if nothing goes wrong, you will have new chapter.
> 
> Thanks a lot for the kudos, the subscriptions, the bookmarks and the comments. And of course, for reading

It has been a couple of days since Dean and Cas made up and they are as good as always, maybe a little bit better. They are everything they have in that place and they feel really good about having their friendship back. They didn’t talk to each other for two days, but it felt like two months. They can’t explain how they had left an important mark on each other, they met about two months ago and yet, they are friends. It happened so easy and quick that they don’t fully understand it, but they are happy about it and honestly, no one of them wants to give up on this friendship they are building.

This morning, they are having breakfast, like always, sitting in front of each other and as far as they can from the other slaves, and like always, they are talking, always trying to speak as low as possible, audible for each other but not for the other slaves.

“I can’t believe that you have never seen Star Wars.” Dean says.

“I didn’t have the chance. And also, here in the Brown Lands it is a polemic movie.” Castiel says as he eats his toast.

“Why?”

“Because it shows people trying to destroy the empire. They are rebels, and standing against the authority, it isn’t well accepted here. That’s what everybody said about it.” He explains.

“Man, this country is nuts.” He says as he nibbles his toast.

“Tell me about it.”

Dean smiles and Cas does it too. They know their situation sucks, they are slaves, but the best way to carry on, it is to try to take the situation with humor whenever they can. Those shy smiles and those laughs they have once in a while are really good to them and lately, the smiles are happening more and more often. It is really good.

“Y’know, I can’t believe that you are from here.” Dean confesses. He is talking in a lower voice, because he doesn’t want any of the other slaves to hear him when it comes to compliment Cas. “You are too good to belong to this country.”

Cas stares at his breakfast with shyness. “You are the first one who tells me that I am too good to be from here.” Castiel says with a bit of sadness. He looks at Dean. “All my life they had told me otherwise. I am too awful to be from this country.”

“They are dicks, then.” He says with a charming smile. Cas blushes and smiles shyly and Dean can’t help a happy smile when he sees Castiel’s reaction. Dean has discovered that Castiel is easy to blush and he looks cute when his cheeks are colored in red. It makes Castiel look less sad and Dean likes that.

Suddenly, Jo appears, so Cas and Dean hide their smiles and they try to look serious, staring a Jo with a bit of anger. She approaches them. “Today is a hot day.” Jo starts to say. “So Dean, you aren’t going to work on the garage and Castiel, you aren’t going to work on the garden. You are going to paint the shed and all the benches in the garden. The whole day. Do you understand?” She explains with her military voice.

“Yes, miss Harvelle.” Castiel and Dean say at the same time.

Jo leaves the kitchen and Dean looks at Cas confused.

“Don’t worry, she always wants to have done that once in a year.” Castiel explains. “But I am surprised that she wants you to do it too, I always had to make it alone.”

“She’s unpredictable, man.” Dean mumbles. “Well, at least you will have a good company this time.” He smirks.

Cas makes a smile mixed with a bitch face and Dean’s smile gets bigger. “Yes, well, I am not going to deny that.”

Once they have finished their breakfast, they go outside. It is a really hot day, the hottest day since Dean has arrived to the Brown Lands, something that Dean finds odd. The sun shines brightly, there aren’t any clouds in the sky and the sultriness is oppressive. They are going to have to work under the suffocating temperature and neither of them is happy with that idea, but at least they will be together; they could have had a worse companion.

The first thing they have to paint is the shed, where all the painting tools and the paint is. It is quite big, more than a usual shed. Everything is big in that house. Well, in the mansion, but they are too used to call it house that sometimes they forget that it is a mansion.

“Why is everything in this house too large and big?” Dean asks when he sees the shed. “Does Crowley have a complex or what?”

Castiel laughs softly as he opens the shed. “He is quite short and he doesn’t like it too much.” Castiel explains. “Don’t ever make fun of his height.” He says looking at Dean worried.

“I know.” He ducks to pick some paint. “I don’t want to know how Crowley punishes. I have enough with Jo.” He makes a grimace. “He is kind of weird, y’know? I mean, he has all those awesome cars and he has waited for a long time to find a slave who has mechanical knowledge, why?”

Castiel makes an obvious look. “It’s cheaper.”

Dean smirks. “Yeah, I get that. But he is freaking rich, couldn’t he afford a mechanic?”

Castiel shrugs. “The closest mechanic garage is quite far, it doesn’t interest him. He will need to move the cars and that’s expensive. He would rather spend money on other things. Besides, it was a matter of time that he bought a slave with mechanical knowledge. Also, he doesn’t use any of those retro cars; he usually uses his Mercedes Benz.” He explains.

Dean nods. “He is really distant from slaves, right?”

Castiel is looking for some paint rollers; there are too many things in that shed. “Yes. He likes slaves to be obedient and not to talk unless he wants it.” He explains casually. He hands Dean a paint roller and they get out from the shed with the paint rollers and the paint cans. “Jo is the one who commands and is closer to slaves. She is the one who spends more time in the house. Crowley is usually out with his business, and when he is in the house, he is busy with some financial stuff or doing something he likes. He doesn’t want to spend his time with slaves and their problems. I think he must have enough with the slaves working for him in his business”

Dean makes a funny grimace. “Isn’t he married?”

“He was it.” Castiel is opening a paint can. The color is navajo white, the color or the shed. “He was married with Jo’s mother, but she died when Jo was five years old. Her name was Ellen. Everybody says that she was a really nice and a charming woman, that even slaves liked her.”

“That sounds weird for this place.” Dean confesses as he digs the paint roller on the paint can. Castiel does the same.

“Yes.” He makes a tired smile. “After a couple of years, Crowley married another woman, Naomi; she was the one who raised Jo, until she was 16. She died from cancer. She was like how Jo is now. Despot, meanie, proud, bossy and arrogant. Also she liked to punish slaves every time she could. I guess that’s where it comes Jo’s behavior with slaves.”

They are painting the shed, slowly, so they don’t leave any place unpainted. “How do you know all of that?” Dean asks surprised.

Castiel lets out an acid laugh. “I have been in this house for nine years.”

“Nine years?!” He exclaims shocked. Castiel tilts his head like he always does when he is confused. “Holy shit.” Dean is shocked. Nine years is too much. He blinks perplexed. Castiel is staring at him intrigued. “Wow, that’s too much, how— like, crap.” He can’t speak properly. Nine fucking years. Holy fuck.

“I know.” He sighs. He looks down sadly. Nine years in that house. It is easy to say, but there is a lot of story behind those years, too much pain.

Dean doesn’t know what to say. He didn’t expect that Cas could have been in that place for too long. He knew that Cas has been a slave for a long time, but not nine fucking years. Nine years is a lot of time. Nine years in that house is synonym of hell.

“There are just a couple of slaves who have been here for longer than I do, but—” Castiel says. Realizing how much time he has been there is painful. He makes a painful and sad face.

“Hey.” Dean starts to say as he puts down the paint roller. He approaches Cas and places one of his hands in Castiel’s shoulder. Castiel stares at Dean’s green eyes, greener than usually thanks to the sunlight. “Don’t think about it, Cas.”

Castiel forces a tiny smile. He can’t forget any of that, how hard his life has been since he became a slave, how alone he has felt, how much they have hurt him. Castiel sighs tiredly. “I can’t, Dean.” He tries to sink his sight in Dean’s eyes, because they are always warm with him, they always calm him. Those eyes are so gentle with him. “It has been so difficult, I have been so alone—”

“You aren’t alone anymore.” Dean says with sweetness and determination. Castiel’s eyes shine with those words. Dean moves his thumb gently in Castiel’s shoulder, caressing it, something that Castiel likes too much. It is sad to know that this is the first time someone touches him like this, to give comfort to him. “You have this awesome friend.” He adds with a smirk.

Castiel smiles widely. Dean sometimes is so silly, but in a good way. He always tries to make Castiel to feel better, something that nobody did before, and Castiel really appreciates that. He likes the friendly touches and the friendly words Dean gives him. “Yes, I have.” Cas says with a pretty smile.

Dean blushes because this is a bit awkward, but he loves seeing Cas this happy. Dean stirs in a friendly way Castiel’s hair, something that Cas seems to enjoy and both blush. Then, they keep painting the shed in a comfortable silence.

The shed is really big and more than an hour has passed since they are finishing painting the first layer, they will have to paint it again. Thanks to the high temperature, the paint dries faster than they expected, so they will be able to paint the second layer in some minutes.

It is too hot. Dean is wearing a t-shirt, but he rolled up the sleeves, showing his shoulders, and he is sweating. He didn’t expect this weather in the Brown Lands. He looks at Castiel, who is sitting in the grass, next to him. He is sweating too, but not as much as Dean, and he is wearing a t-shirt that it is a bit stuck to his back.

“I thought the Brown Lands had a cold weather.” Dean pants.

Castiel turns his face to see Dean. “Most of the time.” Castiel starts to explain. “But there are days when the weather is really hot, and not only in summer.” He starts touching the grass in a gentle way and Dean looks at him with a tiny smile. “Soon autumn will arrive and it will be really cold.” Castiel raises his sight to look at the cloudless sky. “This summer is being hotter than usually. It is nice.”

“You call being sweating and panting nice?” Dean arches one eyebrow and Castiel lowers his head as he smiles, then, he looks at Dean, all sweaty and with his face a bit red from the heat.

“It is a bit suffocating, I know.”

“Only a bit?”

Castiel laughs. “You will miss this when winter arrives.”

“Fuck.” He bites his lower lip and Castiel smiles.

“I think the paint is already dry.” He stands up and Dean stands as well. “We should end painting the shed before lunch time.”

“Yeah. I don’t want to miss lunch.”

They paint again the shed, talking about anything that comes to their minds or they just paint in silence. They like their company; they really enjoy spending time together. It doesn’t matter if they don’t stop talking or if they are in that nice and comfortable silence, they like it. It is the best thing they have in that house; each other.

As Castiel said, the shed is all painted before lunch time. They remove their sweat with the water of one of the fountains and they go to have lunch together. Their stomachs are craving for food after the long work under the hot sun.

Today for lunch they have salad and breaded hake, Dean isn’t a big fan of fish or any green colored food, but there’s nothing else to eat and he is really hungry, and he has learnt that in that house, you eat what they serve you or you don’t eat, and frankly, he is freaking hungry, so he doesn’t complain and he eats as much as he can. At least in the house he can have breakfast, lunch and dinner, more than in the slave’s market and the food it isn’t that bad. But Dean misses junk food, it has been a long time since he ate a burger, or pizza, or French fries with some bacon and cheese, or pie. He misses too much pie. The only desserts they have in that place are fruit or yoghurt. He would die for a pie right now. A pie with a bit of vanilla ice-cream on the top.

Dean doesn’t think about that too much, he doesn’t want to get depressed again. It is a nice day because he has to work with Cas and they have a really good time together. He needs to focus on Castiel, because he is the only one who makes Dean not to go insane, not to break down. Dean can’t go back to that shitty feeling, to that depression, it is dangerous territory and he has to stay away from it as much as he can.

When they finish their lunch, they go back to the shed, now they pick some brushes and black paint cans for the benches in the garden. There are several benches in the garden and they will spend the whole afternoon painting them.

Castiel explains that they will even have to paint between the benches’ holes. They have several because they make a pattern; a drawing made of curves. At least they will only have to paint them one time, not like the shed, that was painted two times. They have to be sitting on their knees, the benches are quite low and it is easier to paint them like that than bending their backs. The problem is that the floor is made of paving stone and it hurts a little bit their knees.

Dean rubs his sweating forehead with his arm. It is too hot today. He pants and Castiel looks at him worried.

“Dean, go to the fountain and refresh yourself.” Castiel advices.

“Okay.” Dean says exhausted.

The fountain is really close and Dean refreshes his face with the cold water of it. It is really nice. While he does it, Castiel watches him, with his worried look. Castiel is used to work outside, on hot or cold days, but Dean isn’t used to work under the suffocating sun. Working on a hot afternoon isn’t healthy.

“Better?” Castiel asks when Dean comes back and kneels next to him.

“Yeah.” Dean says picking the brush. He is painting one of the armrests. “I’m not used to work under these temperatures like you.” He says taking a deep breath.

Castiel nods. “I know. That’s why I told you to go to the fountain; you didn’t look well.”

“Always taking care of me.” He says in a mellow voice.

Castiel blushes a lot and Dean laughs. Castiel sometimes is too shy and quite easy to make him blush. Dean likes that, he likes that small innocence Castiel has. It’s one of the things that Dean wonders about Cas, how can he be like that, innocent and naïve after living in this house for so long time? He isn’t as ingenious as a little kid, but there’s that small naivety in Cas that amuses Dean.

“Blondie could have given us some bottles of water, don’t you think?” Dean says with a grimace.

Castiel puffs a laugh. “Jo giving a slave bottles of water for work? I think the sun has affected your head, Dean.”

Dean smirks. “Yeah, I think that too.”

They both laugh. After that, silence joins them and Dean thinks that it is odd the fact that he found a friend in that house. Castiel is a great friend. Damn it, he is sure that Castiel is the closest friend he has ever had. They know each other for almost two months; it isn’t a long period of time, but they have been together every single day and they have showed each other how they really are and they became friends quite easily. They didn’t trust each other at first, but now, they trust each other.

Afternoon keeps passing, there are just a couple of benches left to paint and a couple of hours left until it is dinner time. Luckily, the temperature isn’t as high as before, it is still hot, but Dean isn’t as suffocated as before, he is sweating a lot, but not as much as before; now it is easier to work and to breathe.

Dean is holding the brush, looking at the bench to see if he left any space unpainted. He is going to start painting the edges, so he moves the brush and Castiel moves too, so Dean accidentally paints Castiel from almost the upper lip to the cheek.

“Dean!” Castiel yells a bit annoyed.

Dean is about to apologize, but Castiel looks too funny with the paint on his face that Dean puts down the brush as he starts to laugh. “I’m sorry Cas but—” Dean starts to say between laughs. Cas frowns and rubs the part of his face that it is painted and the paint blots, so Dean laughs harder.

Castiel dips his left palm in the black paint and quickly, he leaves a handprint on Dean’s shoulder. Dean stops laughing and he looks at Castiel’s hand in his shoulder and then at Cas, who has a satisfactory face.

Dean opens his mouth, surprised, because he didn’t expect that from Castiel. Then Castiel moves closer to Dean, he wants to paint his cheek too.

“Don’t you dare.” Dean says holding Cas’ wrist so it doesn’t touch his cheek. He is frowning, trying to warn him with his face expression.

“I will dare.” Castiel says cockily. He really wants to play with Dean.

Castiel tries to paint Dean’s cheek, but Dean doesn’t let him. Castiel drops himself to Dean and he ends up lying above Dean. Castiel manages to leave some dots in Dean’s cheek before Dean raises both of them and dips his fingers in the paint. He tries to paint Castiel’s forearm, but he only manages to leave a few stripes. Castiel then, paints Dean’s chin and then Dean grabs with his clean hand Castiel’s wrist.

They look at each other, there are only a few inches between their faces, they can even see each other reflected in their eyes. Both of them blush and Castiel starts to laugh really loud and in just a few seconds, Dean joins Castiel’s laughs.

“That was really fun.” Castiel confesses with a pretty smile.

“Yeah.” Dean says as he ends laughing. He releases Castiel’s hand gently. “But it is going to be a bitch to remove all this paint.” He looks at his shoulder and he smiles. He likes the print of Castiel’s hand in his shoulder.

Castiel sighs. “We got a bit insane.” He bites his lower lip. “I haven’t laughed like this in a long time.” Although he is sure that instead of in a long time he should have said ever.

“Me neither.”

They look at each other. They smile shyly but happily and soon a blush appears in both of them. Dean is surprised by how much he blushes when he is with Cas; Dean isn’t easy to blush, it has never been, but he doesn’t mind blushing in front of Cas.  
They keep painting the bench and the few of them left; they finish a few minutes before dinner time. They leave all the brushes, after being cleaned, in the shed with the remaining paint cans and they go to the kitchen to have dinner. They know they look funny and weird with all that pain in their faces and arms, but they will clean it after dinner.

Once they are in the kitchen, the other slaves give them confused and sick looks, but Dean and Cas don’t care, they had a great afternoon and they are quite happy. While they are eating, they look at each other and they can’t help a smile when they see the paint in the other one. They look a bit ridiculous, but they don’t care. That stupid and silly paint fight made them laugh. It had been a long time for both of them since they laughed like that, more for Castiel than for Dean, but neither of them expected that they could have laughed in a place like that when they first arrived. For a moment, they were really happy. As they were painting each other, they felt a bit free, as if they weren’t slaves and it felt so great.

They end up their dinner and they go back to their room to remove all the paint in their bodies. Both are in the bathroom and they have a wet towel that they use to remove the paint.

The paint is dried as it is quite hard to remove it, but after some hard strokes that leave the skin red and a bit swollen, the paint is gone. But they have only managed to remove the paint in their arms. They have to remove the one in their faces.

After some long minutes and a lot rubs with the towel, Castiel has removed all the paint, but Dean is still working hard with the dots on his cheeks. His hands hurt a little bit from rubbing a lot, especially the shoulder, there was too much paint there.

“Let me help you.” Castiel says taking the wet towel from Dean’s hands.

“Cas, you don’t have to—” Dean starts to say.

“Shut up, Dean.” He interrupts.

Dean raises his brows. “Don’t be so bossy.”

Castiel smiles and starts to clean Dean’s cheek. He does it in a softly way but he rubs quite hard, so the paint removes. But he does it without causing Dean any pain at all. Dean moves his eyes to meet Castiel’s. He is so close and really warm. Castiel realizes that Dean is looking at his eyes and he blushes. Dean blushes too. Neither of them have been this close to each other before and it is strange, but not in a bad way. Castiel keeps cleaning the paint and soon he finishes.

“Okay, it is done.” Castiel says moving away.

Dean looks himself at the mirror and sees that there isn’t any paint left. Meanwhile Castiel sits in the toilet and rolls up his jeans. One of his knees is covered with blood and when Dean sees him, he looks at Cas worried.

“How did you do that?” Dean asks upset.

“Too much time kneeling on that paving stone.” Castiel answers casually. IT has happened to him every time he had to paint the benches.

“I’ll heal you.” Dean says as he looks for some ban aids, cloths and Castiel’s antiseptic.

“Dean, it’s not necessary.”

“Shut up, Cas.” Dean interrupts. Castiel makes a tiny smile because Dean wants to heal him. “You have healed me several times. It is time for me to do that to you.” He approaches Castiel and he kneels.

Castiel looks at Dean and Dean smiles. He cleans the wound softly and Castiel is surprised by Dean’s gentle and warm touch and Cas feels heartwarming, because Dean cares about him. He knew it, but seeing it, feeling it, it makes him feel great, because Dean is the first person in his life that actually cares about Castiel, and Cas can’t help the warm feeling that comes with that.

Dean examines the wound, it isn’t deep, but he knows it sores, so he applies the antiseptic sweetly and then, he puts a band on it, so the wound is protected.

“It isn’t a masterpiece of work like yours, but it is pretty good.” Dean says when he ends up with the band.

“Dean, it is perfect.” Castiel says with his sweet voice. “Thank you so much.”

“You are welcome Cas.”

Dean stands and puts all the things back in their place, in the drawers behind the sink. Castiel look at Dean and smiles. He knows he shouldn’t be thankful that Dean is a slave, but he is really thankful that Dean is living in that room with him. Castiel hasn’t felt like that ever, no one has ever been this kind to him except Dean, who makes Castiel happy despite all the awful things and people living in the house. Dean lights Castiel’s world, he makes him feel better and he cares about him, and for Cas, that’s more than he ever had. He really likes Dean. He doesn’t know how he could live in that place without him, because Dean makes days easier, Dean is the support he needs to keep going on. Dean is everything he has.


	6. Counting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the chapter. Thank you for the kudos, the comments, the subscriptions, the bookmarks and for reading :)

Summer is about to end. Castiel knows it because of the breeze, but he knows it better because of the plants. The flowers are almost gone and some leaves are trying to turn into the autumn’s colors already. Just a few weeks of summer are left. The cold will arrive, followed by the winds and the rain. He is too used to the Brown Lands’ weather, but he likes how warm the summer is, the garden always looks better and brighter in spring and in summer, although when autumn arrives and the garden is dyed in light green, yellow, orange and red, it is magical, but the cold weather is quite awful.

Cold is always associated with loneliness and sadness, and that’s how it has always been for Cas since he became a slave, but this year it won’t be like that. This year there is a main difference: Dean.

Castiel smiles as he thinks that. Dean is his friend and he is really happy about that. They don’t have a great life, in fact, their lives suck, but it doesn’t suck too much when they are together. Castiel likes talking to Dean. They talk about anything, from books to how much they hate that place. He even likes when they remain in silence. He likes how Dean makes him smile. He likes how they care about each other. Dean is great and it has warmed up Castiel’s life. Castiel isn’t as sad and depressed as he used to be before Dean arrived anymore, and Castiel feels great about it.

He is with his garden shears, taking care of any branch that shouldn’t be there. He is having trouble with a hard one. He presses the shears really strong and they break. Castiel looks horrified at the tool. If Jo finds out that he broke them, he will be punished. He needs to repair them, but it is broke on the metal part, it will need to be welded and he doesn’t have the tools for that.

Castiel remembers that Dean works at the garage. He may have a welder. He hopes he has one and he can fix the gardening tool. So he runs towards the garage to ask for Dean’s help.

Dean is working under a silver 1959 Cadillac. He has his legs spread, and Castiel blushes a bit when he sees Dean’s crotch perfectly, all marked by the tight jeans. He is used to see Dean in his underwear, but seeing Dean in that position is new and Castiel feels weird about it and he doesn’t know why exactly.

“Dean.” Castiel says.

Dean gets out from under the car and looks at Cas as he stands. “Cas, what’s wrong?” Dean asks worried. He can see the small fear in his blue eyes.

“I need your help.” His voice is a bit desperate.

“What do you need?”

Castiel shows the broken sheers “I broke them. If Jo finds out that I broke them, I’m sure that she will punish me.” He starts to explain. Dean’s eyes show fear when Castiel says that he could be punished.

“They have to be welded.” Dean says as he looks at the tool.

“Can you fix it?”

“Of course, don’t worry.” He has a smile on his face and looks for the welder.

Castiel breathes relieved. Jo may not have found out today that Castiel broke the gardening tool, but sooner or later she would have. Castiel knows that she doesn’t like when slaves break tools or things, even if it is after using it for a long time. A woman slave once broke the broom accidentally, it was really old, and Jo punished her. Castiel doesn’t know if it was in a hard of soft way, but she was punished.

Dean picks the sheers and starts to solder them. Castiel looks carefully how Dean does it. He is sure that Dean has used the welder hundreds of times, because it looks like the welder it is a prolongation of Dean’s arm. Dean holds it firmly and soon, the sheers are fixed. Dean examines them, trying to find out if they are fixed, if his work was good enough.

“All right.” Dean says leaving the seers on the table. “You will have to wait until the metal gets cold. You don’t want to burn your hands by accident.” He explains as he looks at Castiel’s eyes.

Castiel approaches the table to see the gardening tool. They are perfect. He smiles in a relieved way. “Thank you so much Dean.”

“You don’t have to thank me anything, Cas.” His smile is shy but true. He places the welder in its place and then he approaches Cas. “You have helped me whenever I needed it.”

Castiel looks down, trying to hide his tiny and shy smile, although Dean is able to see it. “Still, thank you Dean.” He says rising his head.

Dean blushes a little bit. Castiel can see the amount of freckles in his face. They are really close, but no one of them seems to move away. They are looking at each other in complete silence. Dean is staring at Cas in a strange way, as if he was feeling awkward but at the same time he likes it. Castiel doesn’t know, he is too focused on Dean’s freckles, counting them; he has several on his face, and he has seen more in his shoulders. He is sure that Dean has freckles in all his body and he kind of wants to know where every single one is. Castiel cuts down that thought. He doesn’t know why he wants to know where every single freckle of Dean is, but he wants to. Dean is too different from everything he has known that it makes Cas to feel different about a lot of things.

“Uhm, Cas.” Dean starts to say.

“Yes, Dean?” Castiel says.

“You are kind of creepy when you stare at me for that long.” He says swallowing.

Castiel blinks confused. He doesn’t know for how long he has been staring at Dean. “My apologies.” He moves his sight away. “I was counting your freckles.” He confesses.

Dean blushes a lot. Castiel hasn’t seen Dean that blushed. “You— What? Seriously?” He is really nervous and surprised.

Castiel’s eyes meet Dean’s. “Yes, I’m serious.” He narrows his eyes. Dean opens his mouth to say something, but he doesn’t. Instead, he just half-closes his eyes in a confused way, shaking a bit his head. “Is that wrong?” He asks cautious.

“No, it’s not wrong, it’s just—” Dean shakes his hand in an overreacted way. He looks a bit nervous. “Weird.” He finally says.

“Oh.” Castiel says. Dean is right, looking at anyone for so long, counting the freckles that are on his face, isn’t something very normal. Castiel blushes a little bit. “Sorry, Dean.” He apologizes ashamed. “It’s just that you have a lot of freckles.”

“It’s okay.” The smile on his face is sweet and warm and his sight is a bit shy but filled with kindness.

“I won’t do it again.”

Dean looks at Cas in a way that confuses Cas. It is like he is sad for that but at the same time relieved. Dean looks down and blushes, trying to run away from that conversation. He clears his throat and picks the seers.

“Well, I guess that they are cold now.” Dean comments. He tries to see if they work perfectly by making a scissoring movement.

“Thank you Dean. I don’t know what I would have done without your help.” Castiel says as Dean hands him the seers.

“You are very welcome Cas.” He smiles happily.

Castiel dedicates him a pretty smile. “I will see you at lunch time.”

“Okay.”

Dean watches how Cas leaves the garage in a happy way. Dean fixed his seers, avoiding the punishment Jo could have given him and Dean feels good about it. He likes helping Cas, after all the times Castiel has helped him, it is so nice to being able to help him.

Dean can’t help a smile. Then, he goes back under the car, to keep working on it. While he is fixing the car, he thinks about how Cas was looking at him so close, counting his freckles. One thing Dean has leant about Castiel is that he does things that might be awkward without knowing that they are awkward. But Dean doesn’t mind at all. Yes, having your friend so close, counting your freckles isn’t the most common thing in the world, but Cas is really weird, but weird in a great way that Dean really likes, even if it breaks personal space.

He smirks and he remembers how focused Castiel was on counting his freckles. Cas is amused by them. During Dean’s life, people have made fun of his freckles (stupid teenage boys in high school) or just looked at them. They are just freckles; there are a lot of people who have them, although Dean has lots of them. But Castiel is the first person who has looked at his freckles in that amused way and it surprised and confused Dean. It was weird, but also nice, even if he doesn’t want to recognize it.

The rest of the day goes as usually. Castiel goes to the garage to find Dean and both go to the kitchen to have lunch together. Today there’s cold Spanish omelet, a food that Dean has started to enjoy quite much. When both of them finish their food, they go to their respective work, until it is suppertime, and like always, Castiel goes to the garage again and they go together to the kitchen.

For suppertime there’s fried chicken with coleslaw. Dean is devouring his food and Castiel is staring at him astonished.

“I’m hungry.” Dean explains with his mouth full.

“I can tell that.” Castiel says sassily.

Dean swallows and makes a bitch face. Castiel chuckles. “Don’t be so sassy.”

Castiel makes a big smile. “You shouldn’t devour food like that Dean, it isn’t good.” He warns. “Your stomach won’t take it well.” His eyebrows arch and his eyes are filled with concern.

“Fine.” He rolls his eyes. “You are like an over protective mother with me.”

Castiel grimaces and kicks Dean’s leg softly, something that surprises Dean a lot. He opens his eyes widely and his brows rise. Castiel has his nose squeezed and he is making a half smile.

“Did you just kick my leg?” Dean asks perplexed and with a short laugh.

“Yes.” Castiel says seriously. “You called me over protective mother.” He is pretending to be annoyed; Dean knows it and he likes it.

“You worry too much for me.” His smile is hussy and Castiel blushes a little bit. “Y’know, I like when you are this playful.” He confesses with a happy smile. Castiel blushes even more until his face is almost all red with that and looks down at his food. “Do you really think that I don’t see how you blush when you look down?” He asks as he puts another piece of fried chicken in his mouth.

Castiel raises his head and looks at Dean; there’s a smirk on his face. “Shut up.”

Dean laughs, softly; he doesn’t want to get any attention from the other slaves. “You are so easy to make blush.” The smirk gets bigger. Dean is chewing the food, but that smirk is still there.

“Do you really enjoy making me blush?” The reed on his cheeks refuses to leave.

“Yeah, a bit, you look cute.”

That makes Castiel blush even more. His face is now all red and his eyes are wide opened. Even Dean blushes a little bit for that comment. Castiel keeps eating, trying to get the blush away from his face, but he can’t. There’s a silence between them. Dean is staring at Cas, with shyness.

“Sorry for making you feel awkward.” Dean apologizes.

“I guess this is your revenge for me counting your freckles, right?” Castiel says in a sweet and timid voice.

Dean bites his lower lip as he smiles. “Yeah.”

“Dean.” Jo says. She has just arrived to the kitchen. The talks between the slaves are no longer existent and silence takes over the kitchen. “When you finish, I want you in my bedroom.”

Dean is going to tell her something, but Jo quickly turns around and leaves the kitchen. Dean sighs and rubs his face, then he looks at Castiel, whose smile is gone and he is pale. His happiness, his blush and his smile are gone; now his expression is a picture of fear. His eyes are staring at Dean afraid of what Jo will do to him this time.

“What if I don’t go to her bedroom?” Dean asks whispering once the other slaves’ talks are filling the kitchen’s silence.

“She will punish you in a worst way than she usually does.” Castiel answers with bitterly.

Dean takes a deep breath. “I don’t want her to touch me again and I don’t want to be punished either.” He makes a disgusted face. Imagining the cold and sharp hands of Jo touching him again gives him creeps. She does it in a failed attempt to make it arousing, but Dean hates it.

“I know Dean.” Castiel’s face is all sadness and frustration. “If you don’t do it, she will come for you and she will drag you.”

“Fuck.” He simply says. He has lost his appetite.

Castiel looks down. He wishes he could help him to avoid what Jo wants to do him. He knows that Dean is going to avoid having sex with Jo and that Jo is going to punish him. Castiel wishes there was a way to avoid all of that.

Dean catches Castiel’s worry look. “Hey, Cas.” Dean starts to say. He is trying to sound as sweet and calm as he can. “Don’t worry about me.” He makes a small smile.

“Dean, how am I not going to worry about you?” Castiel says annoyed. There’s also confusion in his voice and in his eyes. “She is going to hurt you, I don’t want that.” He would shout, but like Dean, he doesn’t want to get any attention from the other slaves.

Dean is surprised and touched by those words. “You worry too much about me.” He starts to say timidly. Cas blushes a bit, but he is still looking at him concerned. “I know that she’s going to hurt me, but I will hold the pain.” He looks down. “It’s not the first time.”

Castiel opens his mouth to say something but the words don’t come out. He looks down as well, in a sad way. Dean doesn’t deserve any of that. Castiel takes a deep breath. “I wish you didn’t have to go through it.”

“Yeah, me too.” He sighs.

A couple of minutes later, Dean stands up and leaves the kitchen. He is going towards Jo’s bedroom. He doesn’t want to go there, but if he doesn’t he will be dragged, and he doesn’t want to know what Jo will do after dragging him. When Jo is disappointed or disturbed, she gets out of herself the worst.

Dean gets inside the bedroom; it gives him a creepy feeling. The bedroom walls are painted in a beige color, the furniture is simple but efficient and the floor is covered with a light purple carpet. There isn’t anything creepy at all in that room, but for Dean, there’s something on the bedroom’s atmosphere that isn’t quite right.

“I thought you weren’t going to come here.” Jo says interrupting Dean’s thoughts.

Dean turns around, seeing how Jo closes the door. “I didn’t want to, but I didn’t want to be dragged either.” He says.

There’s that creepy and hussy smile on her face, the one that Dean hates. Jo starts to approach him. He doesn’t move because he doesn’t fear her at all; he is just disgusted by her.

She is going to touch him, but Dean catches her wrist tightly, stopping her. Jo looks at the hand, expecting him to let it go, but Dean doesn’t. She shakes her wrist strongly, surprising Dean, because she is stronger than he thought.

“Are we going to do this in the bad way again Dean?” She says with a threatening smile.

“I don’t want to have sex with you.” Dean says with determination and fiercely.

Jo glares him. “I don’t care what you want or don’t. You are mire and I will do whatever the hell I want.”

“I am not yours. I will never be yours.”

Those are the last words Dean says before Jo uses the stun gun that she was hiding in one of her hands and when the electric shock is given, Dean passes out.

When Dean opens his eyes, he is in Jo’s bed, tied to it. His wrists and his ankles are tied by belts to the bed. He is also naked. Meanwhile, Jo is opening a safe box. Dean’s sight is blurry, but he can see what numbers Jo is pressing. A green light appears to show that the password is correct and Jo opens the safe box. Dean can see there is a lot of money in that safe box and also, there is a gun and a dagger.

Jo picks the dagger and Dean opens wide his eyes. She can’t be serious. She can’t use a freaking dagger right now. Cold sweat starts to run Dean’s body. Jo closes the safe box and turns to see Dean. She is playing with the dagger, the point is in one her fingertips and with her other hands she rolls the dagger. She approaches the bed as she does that, with Dean looking at the dagger.

She places the dagger on the bedside table and then she sits above Dean and kisses him. Dean makes a disgusted groan and tries to turn his face over, but Jo is holding his face tightly, pressing her nails in Dean’s cheeks. It is a lingering, sloppy and sick kiss. While she kisses him, she is shaking her hips, rubbing Dean’s crotch and Dean hates that.

When Jo pulls away for the kiss, Dean spits her. He knows he shouldn’t have done that, but every time Jo kisses him or touches him, Dean feels angry and he can’t help letting all that rage out. He doesn’t think about the consequences.

Jo removes the spit of her face and gives Dean a burning look. She picks the dagger and she makes a small cut on his abdomen, not deep at all but enough to hurt Dean, to make him feel a burning sensation. Dean grunts, but he doesn’t scream.

“You should show me some respect.” Jo says angrily. She is enjoying how the dagger opens Dean’s flesh and a bit of Dean’s blood runs down.

Dean doesn’t say anything, he just glares her. Jo leaves the dagger on the bedside table and he starts to stroke Dean’s collar. Then, her hands moves down to the chest and strokes it. Dean feels as if needles were nailing him where Jo touches him. Her touch is cold and sharp. Soon, her hand goes to his cock and she grabs it. Dean shakes his whole body; he doesn’t want her hand there.

“Relax Dean.” Jo says. “It will be easier if you are a good boy.” The look is cold and scary but it doesn’t intimidate Dean.

She starts to stroke Dean’s cock in a hard way now. It hurts a bit. She is going to try to get him hard, no matter how long it takes her, she isn’t going to stop until Dean is fully erect. Her touch stops being so hard and she tries to make it a pleasurable as she can, but Dean hates it anyway. Dean focuses on how bad it feels to be touched by her, how cold she is, how her fingers are made of poison. Dean should feel pleasure but he doesn’t, her touch is sick and harmful.

“How can you not be already hard?” She asks frustrated. Dean doesn’t know how many times she has moved her hand along his shaft, but Dean knows how tired it can be if you do it as several times as Jo was doing it.

Dean smirks. “I told you. I don’t want this. You aren’t going to get me hard.” He starts to explain. Jo glares him. “I’d rather be punished than have sex with you.”

Jo squeezes the head of his cock, nailing it and Dean grunts. Then, she releases his cock and nails Dean’s belly. “That’s what you want? That’s what turns you on?”

“Listen, I’m not into all that masochism thing.” He says raising his head as much as he can. “But you aren’t going to have sex with me ever. So if you are going to punish me, do it.”

Jo slaps his face and she moves quickly and angrily to the drawer where she keeps her stunt gun and soon, Dean’s sight fades to black, feeling the pain of the electric shock again.

When he wakes up, he has his underwear and his jeans on. His wrists are tied to a rope that it is hanging from the ceiling. His head hurts, he feels dizzy and his sight is a bit blurry. He knows where he is; in the punishment room. He can see the dark walls of the room and the fluorescent lights trying to blind his eyes. One of the most noticeable things of that room is how cold it is. They are still in summer and although the temperatures are lowering slowly, the punishment room is always extremely cold.

After some seconds, when his head seems to stop with that horrible and constant hammering, Dean can hear Jo walking behind him. The sound of her heels against the marble breaks the silence. He can hear how she approaches him, but she stops before she is too close to him.

“Why can’t you do anything in the good way, Dean?” Jo asks with her sharp voice. “I could give you a lot of pleasure, but you prefer pain.”

Dean smiles in his own acid way as if Jo could see him. “Giving a slave pleasure?” Dean says with a dried laugh. “You don’t even believe that, blondie.”

“Don’t call me blondie!” She yells angrily. She waves the whip and it hits Dean’s back in a furious and hard way. She waves the whip a couple more times, harder and faster, but Dean doesn’t scream, he just grunts and closes his eyes strongly, making painful faces. “You should watch out your tongue.” She warns when she isn’t whipping.

Dean doesn’t say anything. He feels how the wound is made and how the blood starts to run down slowly. The blood is hot and the opened wound burns. He knows that Jo has just started.

“Huh.” Jo says surprised, but there’s that proud and satisfactory voice on that word. “No sarcastic comment on that. Seems like punishment works good on you.”

Dean can’t see her, but he is sure as hell that she is smiling in that creepy way of hers. Dean makes an angry grimace. He knows he should shut up, but he can’t, he is too cocky and reckless to remain in silence. “I don’t want to spent saliva talking to you. It’s sick.”

That made Jo feel more furious and the whip hits again Dean’s back. Dean didn’t think it could be possible to be hit harder than before, but it is possible. It hurts him a lot, he wants to scream, to let out a bit of that pain he is feeling, but he is going to hold all his screams inside his throat, no matter how much those screams are pushing against his throat, he isn’t going to give Jo the satisfaction of hearing his painful screams. He clicks his teeth until it hurts. His eyes are closed and his eyeballs are burning with pain. The only sounds in the room is the grunts mixed with the heavy breathing made by Dean and the sound of the whipping hitting Dean’s back, breaking the skin and turning the flesh into red until the flesh is broken and blood appears.

Jo keeps shattering with her whip Dean’s back for several times, seeing how the back it is dyed with red shades. After some long moments, that for Dean seemed an eternity, Jo stops and leaves the whip back in its place. She unties Dean quickly, and Dean’s arms fall down tiredly, as if they were made of heavy iron. Jo leaves fast the room, switching off the lights before that, and Dean watches her leaving. He feels really tired and sore. Even breathing rankles.

Dean sees his t-shirt and shirt on the floor and he picks them up. He leaves the room, without closing the door, he doesn’t care about the freaking door. Every single step he takes is slow and tired, he just wants to get back to the room, but his whole body is heavy, everything aches and burns.

After some long and tired steps, Dean arrives to his and Castiel’s bedroom door. He opens it and sees Castiel sitting in Dean’s bed, with cloths, bands and his antiseptic next to him.

“Dean!” Castiel says terrified when he sees him. He stands up from the bed really fast and he places one of Dean’s arms around his shoulder, so Dean can lay all his weight in Cas.

“Thanks Cas.” Dean says quietly.

Castiel locks the door and holds tightly Dean’s arm with one hand and places his other hand around the small of Dean’s back. “Don’t worry, Dean. I’m here. I will heal you.” His voice is soft and upset.

Dean can’t help a smile. Cas has been waiting him for more than an hour, with everything he will need to heal Dean. Cas could have gone to sleep, but he waited for Dean, and for Dean, that means a lot. He falls in the comforting feeling of Cas worrying about him, of Cas taking care of him. He is safe in the bedroom because Cas is there with him.

They walk towards Dean’s bed, slowly, but it is easier because Cas is sharing Dean’s weight. Once they are next to the bed, Castiel sits down Dean carefully. “Do you want some water?” Castiel asks concerned. Dean nods. Cas walks really fast to the bathroom, he is almost running and Dean hears how Cas is filling with water the mug they use to leave the toothpaste and the toothbrushes. He walks quite fast towards Dean and hands him the cold water. 

Dean drinks it. It feels really good, he was really thirsty. “Thank you.” Dean says with a grateful small smile. He feels a bit better with that.

Cas takes the mug and puts it on the bedside table. Then, he looks at the wound in Dean’s abdomen and he opens his eyes widely. “This isn’t a whip’s wound.” He says scared, looking at Dean.

“How do you know that?” He asks surprised.

Cas picks the cloth and kneels in front of Dean. “Whip’s wounds aren’t this clean.” He starts to explain as he cleans it. “The skin close to the wound is red and messy.” He meets Dean’s eyes for a moment, trying to find in them the answer he is scared to know.

Dean takes a deep breath. “It is from a dagger.” He answers looking down. Castiel opens his mouth in an angry and scary way.

“She used a dagger?” He says horrified. He picks his antiseptic and digs his fingers in it. Dean nods and he makes a small grunt. Soon he feels the cold of the antiseptic and the gentle fingers of his friend. “She’s a monster.” Castiel says furious.

Dean makes a tired grin and looks how Castiel works on the wound. He is now cleaning his fingers and putting a band on the wound. “Well, I spat her, so…”

Cas has already put the tape to keep the band it is place. He looks at Dean with reproach and he stands up to look at Dean with angry eyes “Dean, are you insane?!” He yells angrily. “Why did you do that?”

Sometimes Dean is surprised by how powerful and furious Cas can be. He tilts his head up and he meets Castiel’s eyes, filled with blue fire. “Because I didn’t want her to kiss me.” Dean answers in an obvious way. “Do you want me to surrender to her?” He is angry.

“No, Dean of course no, I just—” He sighs and turns his sight away, then, he looks down. “I don’t want her to hurt you.” He says looking at Dean’s eyes again. Dean can see the sadness and the worry in Cas’ eyes.

Dean makes a sad smile. “Yeah, I know.”

Castiel sits down. Dean turns a little bit so Cas can face his back perfectly. He picks the cloth and starts cleaning Dean’s back in a gentle and delicate way, trying not to hurt Dean’s red and broken skin.

“It’s just—” Dean starts to say breathy. “I don’t want to surrender; I don’t want to let her have me in that way. I can’t let her.” There’s a small pause. Dean tries to focus on how Cas is cleaning his wounds. That nice and careful touch is what relaxes him, what makes the pain go away slowly. “I don’t want to give up.”

“You don’t want to end up like me.” He says sad.

Dean turns his face to see him. Cas has his sad eyes, it has been a long time since Dean saw that sad and tired expression in Castiel’s eyes. “No, Cas, I wasn’t talking about you.” He says really worried. “Why do you think that?” He narrows his eyes.

Castiel sighs. He doesn’t look at Dean’s eyes, he is looking at the wounds, too focused on cleaning them. “I don’t know. I guess that because I’m weak.”

“Hey.” Dean turns, he is facing now Castiel, who stares at Dean confused. “You have your crap, like me, we all have crap in our past, Cas.” Dean starts to say with determination. Castiel’s eyes move slowly up until they find Dean’s. “You haven’t given up. You are just tired of this, but you keep fighting. You aren’t weak, Cas. You are just tired and hurt, but not weak.”

Castiel can feel the warmth in his cheeks as he blushes. “Dean—”

“Don’t say anything, because I know you are going to complain or say: ‘You can’t think that’ and I am too tired to argue with you.” He says firmly.

Castiel smiles shyly, then Dean turns, so his back is facing Castiel again. “That was pretty nice, Dean.” Castiel says with shyness but sweetly.

Dean chuckles. “I really think that, Cas.”

Even hurt and tired, Dean can make Castiel smile. Castiel can’t explain how, but Dean always makes him feel great. He is really blushed and he feels heartwarming by Dean’s words.

There’s a silence after that. Castiel keeps cleaning the wounds with the cloth. He had to use another cloth because the first one is soaked with blood. He is now finishing the cleaning and soon he will apply the antiseptic. Dean’s back is too red and Castiel hates that. Some of the freckles are gone because the skin is broken and Castiel doubts that they will ever appear again.

“Some of your freckles are gone.” Castiel says after a while. He is dipping his fingers in the antiseptic.

Dean turns his face. “Maybe new ones will appear, I don’t know.” He shrugs. “Don’t worry, I have a lot of freckles.” He smiles. Cas makes a big smile too. “You have a small weird obsession with my freckles, right?”

Castiel blushes “I—”

Dean laughs. “You are so easy to blush.” Castiel wrinkles his nose. “Sorry Cas, I didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable.” He apologizes with sweetness.

“It’s okay Dean.” He feels awkward. He knows he shouldn’t like Dean’s freckles this much, but he can’t help it. He finds them amusing. “It’s just I really like your freckles, they are pretty.”

Now Dean is the one who blushes and Castiel feels a bit of pride because Dean isn’t as easy to blush as Castiel. Dean is looking at his lap, a bit ashamed; he isn’t used to that kind of compliments.

“You know,” Castiel starts to say. “I don’t understand why Jo harms your body if she really likes it.” He says confused.

“Well, she only hurts my back. She lays me in the bed and she can’t see it, so I guess she doesn’t care about the back.” Dean answers. He feels how Cas is applying the antiseptic and it relaxes him. The sore isn’t as painful and strong as before. He is surprised by how much better Castiel makes him feel, mentally and physically. He was really tired and hurt, but with Cas’ care and his words, Dean is feeling better; of course, the pain is still there, but he can hold it better.

“Yes, but tonight she used a dagger in your abdomen.” Castiel reminds him.

“Yeah, but she only used it once. She could have used it instead the whip, but she didn’t. She wants to keep my body as untouched as she can. At least the part she sees when she lays me in her bed.” Dean explains. He takes another deep breath. He is only flesh in that place, except for Cas.

Castiel is now putting bands in every single wound covered with antiseptic and putting some tape so the band won’t fall. “Did you manage not to have an erection again?” He wonders.

“Yeah. That’s why she used the whip.”

“It’s that difficult?” He is putting the last piece of tape in the last wound. “I mean, how can you not actually have an erection? You told me Jo touches you in a not too painful way to get you into sex.”

Dean turns to face him. Castiel has finished healing him already. “Cas, are you trying to ask me if I am straight or gay?” He wonders with a hussy smile and one brow up.

Castiel narrows his eyes. He wasn’t trying to know that, he is just curious about how Dean can hold having an erection. “No, I wasn’t trying to ask that. It’s just that I find really difficult not having an erection in that circumstances.” He is starting to get blushed. Dean raises both of his eyebrows, showing his surprise. “I don’t know your sexual orientation, but I’m okay with whatever it is, I’m not like anyone from this country, I don’t judge or hate people by their sexual orientation.”

“I know that.” Dean says with a pretty smile. “You aren’t a dick like the rest of the people.” Castiel smiles in a cute way. “And answering your question, I just focus on how bad it feels to get touched by her and I can control myself. Sometimes it is quite difficult because she’s so fucking insistent, but I don’t get hard.” He explains.

Castiel nods and makes a strange grimace. He looks at Dean some moments after. “Dean.” He says with his confused gaze.

“Yeah?”

“Would you mind if I asked about your sexual orientation?” His eyes narrow. Dean brought up the question and now Castiel feels curious.

Dean puffs a laugh. “Not at all Cas. You wanna know?” His head tilts and there’s a hussy smile drawn on his lips.

“Yes.” He answers. Castiel looks serious and intrigued.

“I’m bisexual.” Dean says. The smile is on his lips and his tune is serious but gentle. Castiel’s looks a bit surprised. “You didn’t expect that?”

“I don’t know what I expected.” He makes a funny grimace and Dean’s smile gets bigger. “So, you like women and men, right?”

Dean nods. “Yeah. I don’t like that crap about only liking the opposite sex, y’know? Both are good.”

“You are the first person who I hear saying that.” There’s a special bright in his eyes and Dean smiles. “It’s really nice to hear that.”

“Thanks, Cas.” Dean’s smile is really pretty right now. “And what about you?”

“Me?” There’s confusion in his voice.

“Yeah, what’s your sexual orientation?” He asks intrigued.

Cas blinks perplexed a couple of times. He has never asked himself that. He makes a thoughtful grin, something that leaves Dean bewildered and frowning. Cas takes a breath before answering. “I don’t know.”

“How can you not know?” His question in filled with confusion. Castiel meets Dean’s eyes and Dean sees that they are sad and frightened. “Sorry Cas, I didn’t want to— If you don’t want to tell me it’s okay. I was just curious.” He didn’t thought about that Cas could look so affected with that question.

Castiel looks down and shakes his head. “No, Dean, don’t worry.” He grabs his jeans and he twists them a little bit with his fists, something that Dean realizes.

Dean places his hand in Castiel’s shoulder and strokes it gently. Castiel raises his sight to stare at Dean’s eyes. “If you don’t want to talk about it, don’t talk about it Cas. It’s okay if you don’t want to.” Dean says with a lovely voice.

“Someday I will tell you my story.” Castiel says abruptly. “I will tell you everything.” He sighs and tries to sink himself in the green forest of Dean’s eyes. “I will explain you why I don’t know exactly what my sexual orientation is. I will tell you everything you want to know. I promise.”

Dean opens his mouth shocked. He wasn’t expecting Cas to say any of that. “O—okay.” He says confused. Sometimes Cas is very unpredictable.

Castiel nods. “I will tell you, I promise. But not tonight.” He looks down again.

“Whenever you want to, Cas. I’ll listen to you.”

Cas makes a small smile. “We should get some rest, especially you.” He stands up and picks the cloths, the bands and the antiseptic.

“I agree.” Dean says. “Thank you for healing me, like always.”

“You are always welcome, Dean.”


	7. Hidden

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I want to thank to everyone who reads, and also for the kudos, the comments, the subscriptions and the bookmarks :)

It is the third day after Dean’s last punishment. Most of the wounds are healed, except two of them. Cas checked the wounds to see if they were doing good and he replaced the wasted bands for new ones in the two wounds that are still being healed.

Dean and Cas are eating lunch. Today there are fish sticks and salad. The morning went like usually, Castiel working on the garden and Dean working on the garage. But when they were going to the kitchen, Jo told them that after lunch, they will have to clean their bedroom. Cas explained Dean that every slave has to clean his bedroom once in a while, when Jo ordered, because she didn’t want any kind of dirt in those bedrooms.

“I find it weird that she wants us to keep our bedroom clean.” Dean says as he chews a fish stick. It is quite crunchy and he likes that. “Y’know, she doesn’t give a fuck about us, why would she care about slave’s salubrity?”

“She wants to keep slaves as healthy as she can; although she may think that punishing slaves is healthy and good too.” Castiel says with sass. Dean smiles with that. He loves how sassy Cas can be. He wasn’t it at first when they met, but know that they are good friends, Castiel is really sassy, and Dean really likes it. “Despite of that, if the slaves are living in a clean place, it will be better.”

“Yeah, I agree with keeping things clean and all that stuff, I don’t want to sleep in a manure heap, but why does she want that? She can buy another slave if something happens to a slave, right?”

“Yes, she can.” He says disgusted. “But slaves aren’t cheap. They aren’t expensive either, but it is better to keep a slave that you have already and you know how that slave is. Also, if a slave gets sick, most of the people with white collars call a doctor, and doctors charge very expensive when it comes to slave.”

“Holy shit.” Dean has been in that country for more than two months and he is still disgusted and shocked by everything. “Blondie doesn’t want to spend any more money on any sick slave or buying a new one.”

Castiel makes an affirmative grimace and keeps eating. “Wait until you see what she lets us to use to scrub the floor.” He says arching his eyebrows.

Dean narrows his eyes. “She isn’t going to give us a mop, right?” He makes a grimace, showing his teeth.

Castiel shakes his head. “She lets us use cloths.”

“Seriously?” Dean tilts his head back and then he rubs his face. “Are we on the 16th century or what?”

“More or less.” Castiel sighs.

“It is going to take us the whole afternoon…”

“At least, now we are two. When I had to do it all by myself I spent the whole day.”

Dean moves his eyebrows and nods. They keep eating the rest of their food in silence. Soon, they finish and they walk to the bedroom, but before that, Castiel opens one of the doors of the hall. It is a closet where there is toilet paper, soap, toothpaste, shampoo, bands, gel, detergent and cloths. Whenever a slave needs anything of that, they have to pick it from that closet. Also, there are several bottles, all of them are cleaning products that Dean never realized before. Cas picks two of them and some cloths.

They get inside the bedroom and Dean locks the door. They take off their boots because Cas said that it is better to work only with their socks and they won’t stain anything. They leave their boots on Castiel’s bed and then, Cas goes to the bathroom to fill a bucket with a bit of water. Dean goes to the bathroom too to help Cas. He opens one of the bottles. It is liquid soap, or something that seems to be like liquid soap, Dean isn’t sure, all he knows is that the soap it is suitable for cleaning parquets and it smells like lemon. He squirts the bottle and the liquid soap starts to fall inside the bucket filled with water.

“We will start with the bedroom.” Castiel says. “He picks the bucket and Dean helps him to carry it to the bedroom. They place it on the floor, between the bedsides tables. Then, both of them kneel and Castiel hands Dean one of the cloths.

“I never realized until now how big our bedroom is.” Dean says with an annoyed grimace. Castiel smiles. “Are you enjoying how annoyed I am with this?”

“Only a bit.” He confesses with a grin.

Dean huffs a laugh. Castiel is wetting the cloth with the mixture of water and liquid soap. Dean would splash some water in Cas’ face for that grin he has, but the water has soap, or whatever the hell that thing is called, and he doesn’t want it to end up in Castiel’s eyes, making them to burn.

“Have you ever cleaned any floor with a cloth?” Castiel asks as he twists the cloth, draining the water excess from it.

“No.” Dean answers. “I used a revolutionary invention called mop.” He adds with sarcasm and a huge smirk.

Castiel rolls his eyes and makes a tiny smile. “Don’t use your sarcasm against me. I’m not the one who decides what we can use.”

“I know Cas.” He says with cordiality. “But I need to get all my frustration and nuisance somehow.” He explains looking at Castiel’s eyes. Cas makes and agreement face. “Besides,” Dean is wetting the cloth a bit and then he twists like Castiel did before. “I really like how you react when I am sarcastic.” There’s that smirk again.

Cas opens his mouth and blushes a little bit and Dean’s smirk gets bigger and prouder. He enjoys too much when Cas blushes. “You are an assbutt, Dean.” Castiel’s voice is annoyed.

“An assbutt?” Dean laughs. “Y’know the word is asshole, right?”

“Assbutt sounds better.” He ignores Dean’s laughter, which is being louder than before, and he looks down, all blushed.

“Oh, fuck.” Dean starts to say when his laughing is lower than before. “I really enjoy spending time with you.”

Castiel moves his head up. Dean is a bit blushed, but he isn’t sure if it is because all the laughing of because of what he just has said. Anyways, Castiel is quite blushed, his eyes show surprise and he can’t help a tiny smile. Knowing that Dean enjoys their time together warms his heart. “Me too.” His voice is low and shy, but audible and Dean smiles.

“Well,” Dean clears his throat. “Explain me how the hell I have to clean the floor.”

Castiel picks the cloth and places it on the floor. “We will have to clean it two times. Once quite fast and the other will take more time to clean it carefully.” He starts to explain. “The second one is the easiest but it takes longer. For the first cleaning, you will have to do it like this.” Castiel places his hands on the cloth that is on the floor, and then, he raises his body until Castiel looks like an arched bridge. He has his feet touching the floor and his knees are straightened. Dean is looking at him curious and surprised. “You have to stay in this stance.” He turns his face to see Dean. “And then, you start to clean.”

Castiel starts to move really fast across the bedroom, moving his feet so he can push his whole body, cleaning with the cloth the floor. Dean is shocked by how fast Castiel moves in that uncomfortable stance without slipping. It reminds him of how some characters from anime clean the floor, and Dean has to chew his lower lip to hold the laughter because, damn it, Cas is exactly like those cartoons. He is cleaning the floor in the same stance and doing it as fast as they.

Quickly, Castiel cleans the floor in the opposite direction and ends up where he began. He notices how Dean is holding his laughter and Castiel takes an exhausted breath. “What’s so funny now Dean?” Castiel asks.

Dean laughs softly. “You look like a character form anime.”

Castiel half closes his eyes with confusion, showing some crinkles in the corners of his eyes. “I don’t understand that reference.”

“It’s… never mind.” Dean says with a short laugh. “I don’t think I will be able to do that as fast as you.” He rolls his eyes and he makes a grimace. “You are pretty skilled.”

Cas smiles in his timid way, there’s a small blush growing up on his cheeks. “I have been doing it for years, so…” He says. “Let’s start; we have a lot to clean.”

Dean tries to clean in the same stance as Cas, but it is a bit difficult. While Dean tries to find the correct stance, trying to find a one where his muscles don’t hurt or his legs don’t want to slip, Castiel has already done two tours. The bastard is even smiling in a rogue way when he sees Dean still, trying to make the freaking position. Finally, he thinks he has it, so he starts to clean the floor, but slowly. Castiel is like a racing car, he is too freaking fast. While Dean goes to one wall to another, Cas has done that almost three or four times. Castiel does it gracefully and decided. Dean does it in a clumsy and in really slow way.

When Dean is going from the wall where the door is to the front wall, where the window is, he looks at Castiel, cleaning the floor in that perfect way. Without noticing it, Dean stares at Castiel’s ass. Cas has a pretty nice ass, quite round and firm, it is a really good ass, and, why the hell is he looking at Castiel’s ass and thinking all of that?

“Dean, what are you waiting for?” Castiel asks in his sassy way. There is a smirk on his face.

Suddenly, Dean realizes that he has been still for some moments while he was staring at Castiel’s ass. Dean opens his eyes widely and looks at Cas, who still has that smirk on his face and all Dean can think about is that Castiel has a nice butt, and he should stop thinking about that. He looks down, all blushed, even his ears are blushed. He feels embarrassed and he can’t help it. He knows that Castiel is looking at him now with confusion, trying to understand why Dean is so blushed.

“Yeah—” Dean starts to say. He clears his throat. He must look ridiculous standing in that position and all blushed. “Just— I’m going back to the cleaning.” He adds moving in Castiel’s opposite direction.

Castiel narrows his eyes, bewildered, he has his mouth a bit opened, but he doesn’t say anything. He just blinks perplexed and keeps cleaning the floor, trying to understand why Dean was so blushed.

Dean is feeling like an idiot. He tries his best to hide his embarrassing face, focusing on cleaning the floor. Luckily, in a few moments, the blush will be gone and his thoughts about Castiel’s ass will be gone too. He isn’t embarrassed about staring at Cas’ ass and thinking that he has a nice ass, he tends to do that with a lot of people, he peeks and he thinks about it for a few seconds, but he has stared at Castiel’s ass for too long and his mind went blank when Cas talked to him and Dean couldn’t focus. Castiel is really attractive, Dean isn’t going to deny that, he has stunning blue eyes, his dark messy hair is cute, he is in shape, he is tall, his voice is attractive and his face is gorgeous. Dean is confused right now. There’s nothing wrong on looking at Castiel’s ass, it is just that he stared at it for too long and he liked it. Shit, he should stop overreacting for that silly thing. They see every morning each other dressed only with a t-shirt and underwear, what’s the big deal with just staring at Castiel’s ass for a little bit? There’s nothing wrong about it. He just felt awkward, nothing more. Being in that position makes inevitable staring at any other place that isn’t Castiel’s ass. Dean is sure that Cas has stared at his ass too. Dean wonders if Cas thought about how nice Dean’s ass is and if he blushed too. Dean can’t help smiling with that.

Some moments pass, and Dean has to tour the floor a couple more times. When he is going to clean towards the window’s wall, Cas is sitting next to the bucket, watching him carefully.

“Have you finished already?” Dean asks shocked. His friend is almost as fast as the speed of light.

“Yes, I have been sitting here for a couple of minutes.” Castiel answers casually.

Dean opens his eyes widely. “Holy shit. You are freaking fast.” Dean takes an exhausted pant.

“Come on Dean, you are almost done.” He cheers with a small smile.

Dean keeps cleaning, in his slow way, although he does it a bit faster than in the beginning. He doesn’t understand how the hell Cas can do it so fast. The floor is slippery and being in that stance is tiring.

He is about to finish when he slips and hits himself against the floor. His legs end up bent and one of his socks is gone.

“Dean!” Castiel says approaching him. “Are you okay?” He asks worried. He is kneeling next to him.

“Crap.” Dean says trying to stand from the floor.

“How could you fall like that?” He is laughing as he asks.

Dean glares him as he sits down on the floor. “It’s not funny, I hurt myself.”

“Sorry, Dean.” He cuts down his laughter, although he lets out a small one. “You fall was odd and funny, and you even lost your sock.” He has a tiny smile.

Dean looks behind him and sees the sock. He even lost his sock. He sucks at cleaning like that. “I fucking suck at cleaning like this…” Dean sighs. He picks his sock and he puts it on.

“You need practice, that’s all.” There’s sweetness in his voice. Dean half smiles and he touches his nose. “Are you hurt or something?”

“My jaw and my nose hurt.”

“Let me check.” 

Castiel places himself in front of Dean, really close. He cups Dean’s jaw and in that moment, when Dean can feel Castiel’s hands on his jaw, Dean opens his eyes widely. Castiel’s hands are really warm and nice. He feels nervous and awkward because it has been a long time since someone cupped his face, although Cas is cupping it really gently and softly, and nobody has cupped Dean’s face like that. Castiel runs his fingers along Dean’s jaw, trying to find if something is broken. Cas’ eyes are looking where his hands are, while Dean’s eyes are staring at Cas. This touch is going beyond the personal space, breaking it until it is inexistent and all Dean can do is to part his lips, without letting out any sound out of his mouth and feeling how hot and red his cheeks are getting.

Castiel's hands keep moving along Dean’s face, now they are in Dean’s nose. His blue eyes meet Dean’s green ones and Castiel realizes how really close they are. He can see the green shades in Dean’s eyes and he can see himself reflected on them. Dean is shocked and blushed, and soon, Cas blushes a lot. He is extremely close to Dean and touching his face. He doesn’t know how long he has been doing that and Dean has that expression that means, _Castiel, what the hell are you doing, you should stop, this is awkward._

“E—everything is fine.” Castiel says pulling his hands away and looking down. His mouth is extremely dry and he is really ashamed.

“Good.” Dean says trying to sound casually. They have been looking at each other for too long. Today must be look at your best friend until it is awkward and your face turns red day.

Castiel touches his own neck, in a nervous way, feeling the collar and his skin as he sits next to Dean. “You may get a small bruise under your chin, but nothing else.”

“Well, I’m— I’m going to finish cleaning my part.” He clears his throat.

“Try not to fall again.” He looks at Dean with his worried and sweet look. He is still blushed a little.

“I don’t know how you manage not to fall.” Dean says with an acid smile as he starts to be in the cleaning position.

Castiel observes Dean’s movement. “You put a lot of weight in your arms. You should distribute your weight in your whole body, not only in your hands.” He narrows his eyes.

Dean turns his face. “How do I do that?” He tilts his face. Castiel opens his mouth to speak, but Dean interrupts him. “Just put me in the right position.”

The blush appears again in Castiel cheeks. Cas isn’t touchy at all, he doesn’t like to touch, that’s why every time he touches Dean, he blushes. Dean doesn’t know it. Cas breaks personal space, but not with touching, except from what happened before. Those touches with Dean are very unusual for Castiel, but he likes them, although some of them can be very awkward.

He places his hands in Dean’s waist and raises it. He arches Dean’s back too and he keeps unbent Dean’s knees. He checks with his eyes if Dean is in the right stance before he speaks.

“Try now.” Cas says.

Dean starts to clean. He isn’t as clumsy as before. There is a happy smile on his face because he is doing it quite good. “Holy fuck, Cas!” Dean says happily. “You are awesome.”

“I am not awesome, Dean.” He says with a timid smile.

“Yes you are. You move me three things and whoa, it’s easier.” He sits next to the bucket because he has finished.

“You did a great work for being the first time.” He admires proudly.

“I’ve got an awesome teacher.”

One of the things Cas is surprised by Dean is how much he praises him. He has never been this praised before. Every time Dean does it, there’s a huge and pretty smile on his face, showing that he means it, and Cas can’t help that warm feeling, his timid smile and the blush in his face, because he feels good and worth, something that only Dean has made him feel. And Dean loves that expression in Castiel’s face.

“So, what’s next?” Dean asks.

“Now we have to clean the floor again, but carefully, not as fast as we did before.” Castiel starts to explain. He wets the cloth with the mix of water and soap that there is in the bucket. “Try to leave the cloth humid as less as you can.” He looks at Dean’s eyes, paying attention. “If the cloth is too wet, the parquet will bend. It has a special varnish that helps the parquet not to spoil it with humid, but you have to be cautious.”

“Cloth not too wet. Got it.” He nods.

Castiel makes a small grin. “Well, then, let’s start.”

They are on his knees, cleaning carefully the floor. His bedroom isn’t filthy at all, but the floor shows the need of being cleaned a bit. Dean wishes they could do that work with a mop. It is a silly invention, a cloth with a stick, but it is faster and it doesn’t hurt. Being on your knees, cleaning and rubbing the floor with a freaking cloth, hurts the back, the knees and the shoulders. Dean is sure that tomorrow he and Castiel will have stitches.

Dean lets out some swears once in a while and he can hear how Cas puffs a laugh. This is exhausting and they will have to clean the bathroom later. His jeans are starting to get wet and it is uncomfortable. This task sucks. At least he is doing it with Cas, so he doesn’t have to do all the work. Dean can’t even imagine how Cas managed to clean the whole room just by himself.

Dean turns his face to look at Cas who is back to back. Sometimes Dean wonders how Castiel can keep doing all of that. The guy has been in this house for nine freaking years and he is still carrying on. A shiver runs Dean’s body. Isn’t he carrying on too? Somehow, he just accepted that he is trapped in that house, that there is no chance of getting away. Will he be in that house for as long as Cas?

He shakes his head. It isn’t time to think about that. Not now. The last thing they need is Dean having a panic attack or something. He sings one of his favorite songs from Led Zeppelin, _Ramble On_ , in his head and he focus on cleaning the floor.

They have already cleaned under their beds and a lot of floor. Castiel has to clean the part of the floor that is close to the bathroom’s door and Dean has to clean the floor from the opposite site, where the wardrobe is.

There is a small space between the floor and the wardrobe. Dean could get his hand behind it with difficulties, so he decides to move the wardrobe. It is quite heavy, not because there are a lot of things on it; it is because the wardrobe is made with a heavy wood. Dean uses all his strengths to push the wardrobe. That thing is too heavy. It sounds a squeak.

“Dean, you don’t have to move the wardrobe.” Castiel says. He turned his head when he heard the chirp to see what Dean was doing. “It is really burdensome.”

“Yeah, I’ve noticed it.” Dean pants. His face is a bit red. He pushes it a little bit more. “Done.” He says a little exhausted but proud.

“You could just put your hand behind the wardrobe and clean.”

“What’s a little more of perfect cleaning?” He smirks.

Castiel rolls his eyes and makes a tired grimace. “You are really complicated and stubborn sometimes. Did you know that?”

Dean smiles. Castiel gets back to the part of the floor he is cleaning while Dean starts to clean the part that was behind the wardrobe. Suddenly, the cloth seems to snag in the wood. Dean removes the cloth from where it is snagged and he looks carefully at that piece of the floor. The parquet is like the rest on the bedroom, but there is a marked separation in that part, as if it was cut. It is square shaped and almost as big as the base of the wardrobe. Dean passes his fingers through it.

“What the hell?” Dean wonders with a frown.

Castiel turns his head to see Dean. “What is it?”

“Come here.” He moves one of his hands, requesting Cas, who stands and walks towards Dean. Then, he kneels next to him. “Have you seen this before?” He looks at Castiel as he asks.

Castiel touches that part of the floor with a confused glance. Then, he shakes his head. “No. When I cleaned this part of the floor I never moved the wardrobe.”

“It looks like this square can be removed.”

Dean tries to find enough space so he can hold tight enough the square and lift it up. Castiel, meanwhile, watches with curiosity and expectant Dean’s movements.

After a couple of attempts, Dean digs his nails in the small space and then, his fingertips. He lifts up the square easily and then, he puts the square on the floor and he and Castiel look at the deep hole that was behind the square. Dean and Castiel exchange looks of surprise and disbelief before they look back at the hole. There is a lot of dust, but also, there are several books.

“It is a secret stash!” Castiel exclaims enthusiastic.

“Holy shit.” Dean says. “How the hell do we have this?” His eyes meet Castiel’s.

“I don’t know.” He shrugs. “Some other slave that was living in this bedroom before me must have made it. I guess.”

Castiel picks the first book of the pile. It is covered with dust, but he cleans the cover to see the title. _The Catcher In The Rye._

“How the hell you didn’t know about this?” Dean picks another book, and like Cas, he cleans the cover to see the title, although that book is as covered with dust as Castiel’s. Dean reads the title. _Hamlet_.

“I told you. I never moved the wardrobe.” He rolls his eyes as he explains that. Dean grimaces, although he likes the way Castiel does that. “I just moved the cloth and it never got snagged.” He adds. He picks another book. _The Hobbit_.

“Nine years here and you never found this. I’m here for two months and I find a treasure.” There’s a proud smirk on his face. Castiel narrows his eyes, he squeezes his nose and then, he punches softly Dean’s arm. Dean laughs. “Are you jealous or what?” He says with a funny tune.

“Shut up.”

Dean laughs again. “You are so cute when you are this huffy.”

Even Castiel’s ears blush with that comment. Dean blushes too, but not as much as Castiel. Dean knows that he might sound like he is flirting with Cas and making him feel a little awkward, but Dean can’t help it. He really likes Castiel, he is his friend, Dean is sure that Castiel might be the best friend he has ever had. He likes saying all those things to Cas, to make him feel good, because Castiel makes Dean feel good. Dean never expected to feel that good in that house.

“There are a lot of books.” Castiel says after a while, when the blush isn’t on his ears anymore. But his cheeks are still red.

Dean wakes up from all those thoughts. “Yeah, there are several.” He grabs the whole pile of books and he puts them between him and Castiel.

“I can’t believe we have books.” He says nostalgic. “It’s been years since I last read a book. I miss it so much.”

“Well, now you have a few to read.” He makes a pretty huge smile and looks at Cas, who returns the look. He is happy too, his smile says it. “We have: _Of Mice and Men” Dean starts to read the titles “Dracula, Pride and Prejudice, A Tale of Two Cities, On the Road, Madame Bovary, Edgar Allan Poe’s tales_ and _The Great Gatsby_.”

Cas looks at all the books marveled. He can’t believe he is holding a book in his hands. Dean is staring at Cas, who has a bright glance and a pretty smile. “We have got books, Dean!” He says happily. His smile is big and it is all happiness.

“We’ve got books, yeah.” He says smiling. “It will be our secret.”

Castiel’s eyes, face and smile are overflowing with happiness and illusion. “Sounds great.” He says. Dean is sure that he hasn’t seen this happy Cas before. “This will be our secret hideaway.”

They look at each other, smiling. There’s joy in their faces and they can’t hide it. They don’t want to hide it.

“Put them back in the hole.” Castiel says as he puts some books inside the hole. “We will keep them there, like they were before you found them.”

“We found them.” Dean rectifies.

Castiel looks at him surprised and there’s a thankful smile on his face. “Well, we, then.” He smiles timidly now. “If Jo appears, they will be hidden, so she can’t take them away or punish us.”

“And whenever we want a book, we’ll just move the wardrobe.”

Castiel nods. Then, they put the books back in the hole. They are so happy about their discovery. The smiles on their faces are still there.

Once all the books are back in the hole, Dean puts the square, so the hole is covered, as if nothing was behind it. After that, Dean and Cas move the wardrobe back to its place, ensuring that the square it is hidden. 

Dean turns his face to see Castiel. He is all happy with their discovery and Dean thinks that’s the prettiest smile he has ever seen. Castiel has a gorgeous smile. It’s a shame that he doesn’t smile more often. Although since he and Dean became friends, Castiel has been smiling more than in his whole life, but in that moment, the smile in Castiel’s face is wonderful, bright and big and Dean wishes he could see that smile always.

Castiel catches Dean looking at him, with a tender look on his eyes and Castiel blushes a little bit. He doesn’t understand why Dean is looking at him like that, but it is a look filled with affection and it warms Castiel’s heart. “What?” Castiel asks confused and shyly.

“You should smile like that more often.” Dean says.

Again, Castiel blushes a lot; even his ears are blushed again. Cas looks down, a bit embarrassed and Dean bites a bit his lower lip because Castiel is so cute.

“I’m— I’m going to end up cleaning my part.” Castiel says abruptly. He turns over and goes back to where he was cleaning.  
Dean shakes his head and smiles. Castiel is so awkward. Dean kneels and keeps cleaning the last part of the floor left. He looks at the alarm clock in Castiel’s table; it is almost four o’clock in the evening. They have been cleaning for almost two hours. And they still have to clean the bathroom.

After a few more minutes, both of them finish and they stand up. Dean takes a deep and exhausted breath. Castiel, meanwhile, walks towards the bucket and picks it up.

“We don’t even take a small break?” Dean asks a bit desperate.

“If you take a break now, I know you won’t get back to work in two hours or so.” Castiel says arching a brow. Damn it, the man knows him quite well. “Come on Dean, we have work to do.”

Dean makes an annoyed grimace and he approaches Castiel, who is in the entrance of the bathroom. “I hate when you get so bossy.” He huffs.

“Don’t worry Dean, once we finish the bathroom, we can take a break until suppertime.” He explains as he empties the bucket on the sink. “I estimate that we will be done before six o’clock, so we will have two hours to take that break you are looking for.”

“Can we do that?” Dean asks surprised. Castiel’s eyes meet his, showing their confusion. “I mean, blondie won’t get angry because we spend two hours doing nothing?”

Castiel smirks. “Not if we don’t tell her.”

“You son of a bitch.” Dean laughs. “I didn’t expect that from you.” He admits with a proud grimace.

Castiel is smiling proudly. “I’m no angel.” He is filling the bucket with water. “I try to be obedient because I don’t want to get punished.” He explains. Now he picks the other bottle with liquid soap that they didn’t use before, he opens it a squirts the bottle to drop the soap into the bucket. “But I’m not always obedient. I do little things that I shouldn’t do. It’s not much, but they—”

“Make you feel a person, not a slave.” Dean says interrupting him.

Castiel nods and makes a sad smile. “Isn’t it silly?” He asks. “The things we do to feel less imprisoned?”

“Yeah.” Dean doesn’t want to talk about that right now. He likes when he and Cas are happy and laughing. They have enough crap in their lives to think about it. “Do we have to do the same like in the bedroom?” Dean asks, trying to change the subject.

Castiel closes the tap. “We only have to clean the floor once, like the second in the bedroom.” He explains. “The easy way.”

“Good. No more standing in a weird stance.” He is glad about it.

“No more you falling off in a funny way.” He smirks.

Dean glares him. “You aren’t going to forget that, do you?”

“No.” He smiles. “You have to admit it was quite comical.” He wets the cloth and Dean does the same.

“Shut up.”

Castiel doesn’t say anything more, but he has that naughty smile on his face. They drain their respective cloths and then, they start to clean. Dean has to clean the part of the toilet and Castiel has to clean the part of the bathtub.

Dean is a bit tired, but if they finish soon, they will take a long and a deserved rest. The bathroom is smaller than the bedroom, but it still has a lot to clean, but Dean has found the knack of cleaning that way and now it is easier, but it is still tired.

Castiel is now cleaning the bathtub, it is quite big, and the height of the fiberglass of it is a bit tall. Castiel has to stand on his knees to reach every single little corner of it. He doesn’t want to get inside it because he will end up with his clothes soaked with soap and water.

Dean is cleaning the floor, rubbing it, while he looks at Castiel. His friend has his thorax lying on the border of the bathtub, something very uncomfortable and Dean has a perfect view of Castiel’s ass.

“It would be easier if you got inside the bathtub.” Dean advices.

“I know. But I don’t want to get my clothes soaked with soap and water.” Castiel says rubbing the cloth on the fiberglass.

“Don’t be so prim.” He jokes.

Castiel pants and he turns his face to see Dean. “These and the ones in the wardrobe are the only clothes we have. If they get spoiled, we won’t have new ones.” He explains.

Dean makes an annoyed grimace. “I know. But spotted clothes are better than cleaning in a position where you are nailing your ribs against the border or the bathtub.” He is looking at his friend with a worry look.

Castiel makes a sweet smile. “Don’t worry for me, Dean.” He says turning his face to see the place he is working on. “I’m used to this.” He stands on his tiptoe and he bends his thorax against the border of the bathtub to reach the furthest part. One of his hands is placed on the bottom on the bathtub, holding his body to avoid falling off.

Dean sighs. “I think you are doing this now to show your nice ass off.”

Castiel blushes and gets really nervous with that comment that he pulls away the hand he has on the bottom of the bathtub and he slips, falling inside the bathtub.

“Cas!” Dean yells. He stands faster than in his whole life and goes towards the bathtub. “Holy shit!” Dean says looking at Castiel. He is face down, his legs are bent, touching his back, and his arms are in a weird position. “Are you okay?”

“Yes.” He mumbles as he starts to sit up.

Dean takes a relieved breath when Cas is sitting on the bathtub. “You scared the hell out of me.” He rubs his face. His heart is beating fast, but it is starting to beat in its normal speed as seconds pass.

“You made me fall.” He says awkwardly.

Dean makes a confused frown and looks at Castiel, who is starting to get blushed. “Wait, did you fell because of what I said?” He asks. Castiel bites his lower lip and that answers Dean’s question. “You—” Dean starts to laugh uncontrolled. He made Cas nervous because he told him he had a nice ass in a joking way, although Dean thinks Cas has a pretty nice ass. “Cas, please,” Dean says between laughs. “Tell me you are joking.”

“I’m not joking! It’s not funny at all Dean!” He says ashamed and a bit pissed off.

“You gotta admit that making you fall down in the bathtub for telling you that you have a nice ass is funny.” His laughter doesn’t stop.

Castiel frowns and makes an angry face. He grabs Dean’s shirt and he pulls Dean inside the bathtub, making him to fall down with him, but not in an abruptly way as he did. Dean makes a shocked noise and he ends up inside the bathtub with Castiel.

Dean is looking a Cas with his mouth opened and with a frown “Why did you do that?” He asks annoyed.

“It’s not that funny now, right?” Castiel says cockily.

“You laughed your ass off when I fell down cleaning the bedroom and I didn’t make you fall!”

“But I didn’t make you fall. Now you were the one who made me fall, so I have to take my revenge.” He says with a smirk.

“Oh yeah?” He says cockily. Castiel hasn’t got any idea of how cocky Dean can be. “Well, I fell two times, so I have one revenge left, right?” He arches one of his brows.

Castiel’s smirk disappears and he looks at Dean in a startled way. “What are you going to do?”

Dean starts to walk on his knees slowly and Castiel starts to move back, but soon, he is corralled against the wall of the bathtub and Dean’s eyes are filled with satisfaction and Castiel is nervous because he doesn’t know what Dean is going to do. Quickly, Dean starts to tickle Castiel. His hands move really fast and Castiel tries to pull them away, but Dean has sneaky hands and all Castiel can do is laugh.

“Dean!” Castiel says laughing. “No, Dean, please!” He laughs.

“I’m just starting.” Dean says with a huge smirk.

“Dean—” His laughter is quite loud. His eyes are closed and he feels how Dean’s hands are everywhere.

Dean is tickling Castiel, moving his hands and fingers as fast as he can, enjoying the faces and the sounds Castiel is making and how he tries in a fail attempt to stop him. Castiel opens his eyes for a moment and he quickly picks the sponge and throws it at Dean’s face. Dean stops the tickling and opens his mouth and his eyes widely, surprised by Castiel’s move.

“That’s not fair!” Dean complains.

Castiel is laughing happily. “Did you actually think I wouldn’t fight even if it was with a sponge?”

Dean starts to laugh with Cas and throws the sponge at Castiel nose. Castiel laughs louder and leaves the sponge in its place. They keep laughing for a while, until their lungs are craving for air and their faces are red. They take a deep and needy breath and they look at each other.

“You make me really happy, Dean.” Castiel says with a pretty smile. He doesn’t sound timid, despite the blush in his cheeks.

Dean is surprised by that. He smiles. “You make me happy too.” Castiel’s smile gets bigger. “Sorry for making you fall into the bathtub.”

“Don’t worry, I didn’t get hurt.” He says.

Dean cups Castiel’s face and Castiel’s eyes open wide. Dean is checking for any bruise or injure. “You seem to be good.” He makes a thoughtful grimace. He pulls his hands away and Castiel’s doesn’t like the loss of that warmth too much.

“Dean.”

“Yeah?”

Castiel knows he shouldn’t ask that, but he is a little bit curious. He bites his lip before he asks. “Why were you staring at my ass?”

Dean opens his eyes widely and his face shows he is shocked, but then, he makes a smirk. “In the way you were standing it was impossible not to stare at it.”

Castiel narrows his eyes in a suspicious way. “Dean.”

“Don’t look at me like that, man.” He says a bit nervous. “You were standing like that and I couldn’t help staring at it.” Dean blushes a bit. “How about we leave this awkward conversation and we keep cleaning so we can take a rest?” He suggests standing up. Dean gets out of the bathtub and offers a hand to Cas so he can stand up easily. Then, Dean goes back to the part where he was cleaning and Cas keeps cleaning his part.

Castiel looks at Dean and he makes a tiny smile. Everything with Dean is so different from all Cas has ever known. Things are really happy and good between them and Dean makes him feel special, worth. Dean is the best friend he has ever had, he is the only friend Castiel has ever known.

“Thank you Dean.” Castiel says after some moments.

“Thanks for what?” Dean wonders bewildered.

“For being my friend and making me happy.”

Dean opens a bit his mouth and then, he smiles shyly. “Same goes for you.”

And like always, Castiel blushes and smiles because of Dean’s comment.


	8. Panic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, for the kudos, for the bookmarks, for the comments and for the subscriptions :)

Tonight, Dean and Castiel have decided to read some of the books hidden in their secret hideaway. Yesterday, after cleaning the bedroom and the bathroom, they were really tired to read, so they went to bed, despite of having almost two hours to rest after they were done, but they needed to sleep; their bodies were calling for it. But tonight, they decided to read. After locking the door with the latch, they moved the wardrobe and they removed the square. Castiel picked the _Catcher in the Rye_ while Dean picked the collection of all Edgar Allan Poe’s stories. They looked at each other happily when they had their book in their hands. After that, they put the square in its place and the wardrobe as well. They got in their respective beds and they started to read.

The room is filled with a comfortable silence. They are covered with the sheets and the quilt, lost in the words of the book, their bodies are in that room but their minds are far away, living the stories they are reading. It feels great.

Reading a book. Sounds very easy, sounds very normal, it is something daily for a lot of people, but in that place, in that house, it is an achievement. Something as simple as being in bed reading a book was something that Dean and Castiel thought that they weren’t going to do again. But here they are, reading in their beds, tasting that small freedom the books are giving them.

Dean can see from the corner of his eyes how Cas is submerged in the book. It has been years since Castiel last had a chance to read and now that he has a book in his hands, a book he can read, he is really happy and concentrated on the book. Dean can even see the satisfaction on his friend’s face.

Dean turns his sight back to his book. He has read a couple of stories. Some of them were better than others, but Dean enjoyed them anyways. It hasn’t been so long since Dean read a book for the last time, but it still feels good. It feels freaking awesome.

He takes a deep breath. It has been a little bit more than two months since he was bought and he arrived to the house. Two months. It is scary. It isn’t the nine years of Castiel, and yet, those two months seem like an eternity. They are only two months, but time in the house goes really slowly, except when he is with Cas.

Would he ever get back to the life he used to have before he became a slave? Would he ever be free again? Those questions are freaking out Dean. He should stop thinking about it, he should focus on the book, but he can’t. There’s that annoying feeling blooming in his chest, making him feel bad. It is not the moment to think about all that crap.

Dean focuses on reading, but he can only read three sentences. His mind has opened the locked box of that topic and it isn’t going to keep it back where Dean buried it. He doesn’t want to think about it, because every time he thinks about spending his whole life as a slave, in that awful place, all is pain. He can’t run away, he has tried to find a way out, but it is impossible for a slave to escape. The collars, the locks, the fence… Everything is designed and is thought to make impossible any way out. Even slaves, except Cas, play against Dean. If anyone saw or knew about Dean wanting to get away, they would tell Jo or Crowley and Dean would be punished at least.

The more he thinks about being unable to get away from that place, the worst Dean feels. He doesn’t want to feel frustrated, angry, devastated and tired anymore. It looks like he has given up. No, he hasn’t given up, but what can he do when he can’t do anything to escape? He is too tired of fighting. He is too tired of that place. The house is consuming Dean emotionally. If it wasn’t for Cas, he would have gone insane. Cas is the only bright light in this house full of darkness. But this place is going to end up with Dean. It is burning him slowly and he will become ashes. He knows he is going to spend the rest of his life in the house and he doesn’t want that. He wants his life back, he wants to be a free man, he wants to get back home. Going to the Brown Lands has only brought misfortunes. There has to be a way to go back to everything he had.

And what if there isn’t any way out? Cas has been in that house for nine years. Nine fucking years. Castiel hates this house as much as Dean does, and Dean is sure that Cas wanted to find a way out too. The other slaves seem to like more or less being in that house, but not Cas. Maybe, he tried to run away, but he couldn’t do it. Does that mean that Dean won’t find a way out either? Does that mean that he will have to spend every single day of his meaningless life in that house?

He can’t deal with that. He wishes all of that was a nightmare and he could wake up, but sometimes, nightmares are real, and this time, Dean is living a nightmare. He just started to live in the house; two months are nothing compared with Castiel’s nine years. It is scary to think how many horrible things Dean can live in that place in nine years. He really doesn’t want to be nine years in that fucking place. The thought is terrifying.

Dean is starting to feel dizzy. His head is starting to hurt. He is starting to feel suffocated, as if his chest was compressed, avoiding a good breathing. Cold is running his body in shivers and cool sweat, accompanied with a freezing titillation. His heart is beating fast, as if it wanted to get away from him. His sight is starting to get blurry. Dean is feeling really bad, more than in his whole life. He is panicking. He needs to get away from all that shit he is thinking about, he needs to calm down; but he can’t. It doesn’t matter how hard he tries, his mind doesn’t shut up. He has opened that dangerous door and it won’t close until all the question and all the fears are out. His mind keeps asking questions which answers scare and panic Dean. He refuses to all of that. This is no life.

Dean gets up from the bed, hurriedly, leaving the book on the bed. It feels like if the whole room was spinning and twisting. Castiel watches him confused. Dean goes to the bathroom, trying not to fall, but he is staggering. Once he is the bathroom, in front of the sink, he opens the tap of warm water. He is shaking and he feels really cold. He splashes some warm water on his face and then, he leans his hands on the sink, holding himself.

“Dean, are you okay?” Castiel asks worried. He is in the entrance of the bathroom.

“Yeah, I’m just—” Dean starts to say as he raises his face to see himself in the mirror.

There it is; the black leather collar. The collar that shows he is a slave, the collar that shows that he used to have something that he doesn’t have anymore. He doesn’t feel it anymore; it is like if it has become part of his skin. He won’t be able to take it off ever, it will be part of his body for the rest of his life. He will die with it on his neck. There are too many thoughts on his head right now and he can’t with any of that. He knows that only a few seconds have passed since he talked. Everything is going so fast in his mind and he can’t with any of that anymore. He loses the strength on his body, feeling as if he was floating on the air. Black dots are appearing on his sight until everything is black and Dean passes out, hearing how Cas screams his name, and then, Dean isn’t conscious about anything else; he falls into the darkness.

 

Dean can hear Cas’ soft breathing. He can’t open his eyes yet, but he is conscious, the light wants to go through his eyelids, being a little annoying, but Dean keeps his eyes shut. His head is laying on something soft, like a pillow or something, he can’t tell yet and it has a familiar pleasant smell that after some seconds, Dean recognizes as Castiel’s smell. It makes him feel a bit better. Once his body seems to wake up, he feels that something is covering him and he doesn’t feel as cold as before, although all his body seems heavy right now. He turns his head after some seconds and he opens his eyes slowly. Castiel is sat on his knees, next to him.

“Hey.” Dean says with a quiet and hoarsely voice.

“Hey.” Castiel says with a sweet smile. His eyes shows worry. “Chew them and then place them under your tongue.” He says approaching some berries to Dean’s mouth.

“Where did you get berries?” He asks confused. He opens his mouth and Castiel drops the berries in his mouth.

“I have them in a jar. There are several near the fence and I like to collect them.” He says casually. “Don’t forget to put the chewed berries under your tongue. It will help you to get the sugar easier and faster to your body.” He reminds.

Dean chews the berries and then he places the sugary liquid under his tongue. The liquid disappears slowly and then, Dean swallows the remaining. He tries to get up, but Cas places his hand in his chest and stops him.

“Not so fast, Dean.” Castiel says with a frown. “You are still pale and a bit cold. You need to rest a bit.”

“Okay.” Dean says. His head still hurts, but at least he isn’t as cold as before and he isn’t feeling that oppression in his chest. “For how long I have been passed out?”

“A couple of minutes.” Castiel explains.

“I’m always giving you trouble. Sorry.”

“Dean, there’s no need to apologize.” He runs gently his fingers through Dean’s hair. It is a short and small touch, but Dean thanks it and likes it. “You had a blood pleasure fall.” He looks at Dean’s eyes with tenderness. “Although you scared me a little bit. You were so pale and cold that at first I thought it could have been something really, really bad.”

Dean sighs “Once again, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. It’s not your fault.”

“It is my fault.” He says sadly. Castiel frowns in a confused way. “I panicked.”

“Why?” Castiel’s eyes show how worried he is.

Dean takes a breath. In normal conditions he would avoid the topic, but right now, he is feeling a bit dizzy, his head hurts a little bit, he isn’t in a normal condition and he needs to get all that crap out somehow, and Castiel always listens to him and makes him feel better even in the worst moments. Cas is all the comfort he needs. “Because I was thinking about that I’m going to be a slave the rest of my life and—” He takes a deep breath and turns his face, moving his sight away from the deep sea of Castiel’s eyes. “It scares me a lot.”

Castiel looks down and places his hand in Dean’s hair, stroking it again. Dean knows that usually, he would get blushed, but now, he just closes his eyes and enjoys how Castiel runs his fingers slowly and friendly through his hair. It is relaxing.

“It is scary, I know.” Castiel says with a soft voice. He keeps running his fingers. He isn’t sure if that touch is a normal thing between friends, but Dean seems to relax with that, so he keeps doing it.

“Did this ever happen to you?” Dean asks opening his eyes slowly. “Breaking down?”

Castiel nods. “A lot of times.” He says sadly. The worst of having those break downs was that Cas was all alone. Nobody cared about him. And that was really hard. Even some weeks before Dean arrived, he had another break down, although it wasn’t a big one. But now, he has Dean; he isn’t alone anymore.

“And you were alone.”

Castiel nods again. He knows that Dean wasn’t asking, but he nods anyway. “I was it.”

“It’s great to have you.” He says with a smile and turning his face to see Cas, who makes his shy smile. Dean sighs. “How do you handle it?”

“I try not to think about it.” He starts to explain. He keeps moving his fingers slowly and Dean seems to make a small and almost inaudible purr. “But sometimes, it is hard not to do it. Those thoughts come back to you and no matter how deep you burry them, they always come.”

“It sucks.” He makes an annoyed face. “Do you ever feel like the collar is part of your skin?”

“Always. The first weeks you have it, it is weird, strange, and it reminds you that you are a slave. But after some weeks, it becomes part of your body, until you forget about it most of the time, because you have accepted that you are a slave.”

“I hate all of this.” Dean says frustrated. “I try to carry on, but—” He sighs and looks down. “I’m not strong enough.”

“You are stronger than you think, Dean.”

Dean makes an acid smile. “If you think so…”

“I mean it, Dean.”

Dean meets Castiel’s eyes. They show that Cas truly believes that. “Anyway,” Dean keeps saying. He doesn’t feel strong; he is wasted, broken and tired. Cas should know that, but he thinks he is strong and Dean doesn’t understand it at all. “This place wastes you until you are nothing more like broken bones and burnt skin.”

“I agree.” Castiel strokes gently Dean’s forehead with his thumb. “Since when do you talk like this? I thought you didn’t like talking.” He says bewildered.

“Must be the lack of sugar.” He jokes.

Castiel smiles. He moves the hand he has on Dean’s hair to place it in Dean’s forehead. “You seem to be recovering your temperature.” He murmurs. “I’m going to make you an infusion.” He stands up. Dean is moving to do the same, but Castiel glares him. “Don’t stand up yet, Dean.”

“Okay.” He says reluctantly. He isn’t going to argue with Cas.

Castiel picks the mug and fills it with hot water from the tap. Meanwhile, Dean sees he is covered with a towel, covering his shoulders down. The pillow is Castiel’s. He likes the smell of Castiel, it is really heartwarming. Dean looks how Castiel is putting some pieces of a plant in the mug as he buries his cheek in the pillow. Dean smiles, Cas is really lovely. He can’t understand how he can be like that after all the things he may have been through.

“Now you can sit.” Castiel says. “But slowly.”

Dean stands and he ends up sitting on the floor. The towel that covers him is now covering from his lap down. Castiel is sitting on the floor as well, with his legs crossed, next to Dean, with the mug on his hands.

“Do you feel dizzy?” Castiel asks concerned.

“No. My head hurts just a little, but I’m better.” Dean answers.

“That’s good.” He smiles. “Careful, it might be quite hot.” He is offering the mug.

Dean takes the mug and smells it. It is a weird smell. “What the hell is this?”

“Rosemary. It will help you. Drink it.”

Dean looks at the liquid with a geek face. He doesn’t like the smell; it is too strong. But if Cas says that it will help him, he should drink it, even if the taste is disgusting. He takes a sip. This flavor is really weird and disgusting. His whole face squeezes, showing how bad it tastes. He even sticks out his tongue.

Castiel starts to laugh. “Dean, it doesn’t taste that bad.”

“Have you actually drunk this ever?” Dean says with a disgusted voice.

“Don’t be such a peevish.” He rolls his eyes. “I’m not letting you back in bed until you finish it.” Dean glares him with that. “And I know you aren’t in the right conditions to try to sneak to bed.” There’s that cocky sight that Dean likes.

“My tongue is going to regret this.” He says taking another sip. He can’t help making the disgusted face when the liquid touches his tongue.

Castiel smiles when Dean makes that face. “Do you want a raspberry to take that taste away?”

“Please.” He says fast and desperate. He would even eat the toothpaste to get the rosemary flavor out of his tongue.

Castiel laughs and he searches in one of the drawers under the sink the jar with berries. He picks a couple of raspberries and he gives them to Dean.

“Shit, this is wonderful compared to that awful taste.” He says moaning as he chews.

“You are like a kid.” He says as he shakes his head. There’s also a soft smile drawn on his lips.

“Yeah, a bit.”

Castiel smiles wider. “At least you don’t deny it.”

Dean makes his hussy smile. Then, he drinks the infusion and of course, he makes the disgusted face, although it isn’t as marked as before. He puts in his mouth another raspberry after drinking. “Thank you for helping me, Cas.” An honest smile appears on his face.

“That’s what best friends do, Dean.”

Dean blushes a little bit and smiles wider. He drinks again that awful infusion slowly. There’s only a quarter left. “How is it that you have berries and rosemary?” He inquires.

“Jo lets me to have some of the medicinal plants that grow in the garden; she thinks that they are weeds. So she doesn’t care what I do with them while I keep them off the garden.” He explains. He looks down, and he starts to play with his fingers on the floor, as if he was a little kid. “The berries grow next to the fence. Jo likes the shrubbery not touching the fence, so I have to cut them, and then, I keep some berries.”

“She doesn’t know about the berries, right?” His eyebrow arches.

Castiel shakes his head. “I don’t pick a lot, just a couple, not more than five. But I collect them whenever I can and I keep them in the jar.”

Dean has never seen Castiel this shy. He looks like a little kid whose secret has been revealed. There’s more than his usual innocence, but he is calm, because he knows that he can trust Dean.

“I won’t tell her about it, don’t worry.” Dean says before drinking again.

Castiel smiles shyly and raises his sight. “I know you won’t.” His eyes are all sweetness and trust and Dean likes that sight. “I like berries. When I was a little kid I used to go through the woods by myself, trying to find blackberries, raspberries, strawberries, cranberries, blueberries or tayberries.” It is the first time he is telling Dean something about his past and both of them are surprised by that, but they don’t care. Dean is enjoying that nostalgic and happy face Cas has. Dean is paying a lot of attention to Castiel’s words. “Sometimes I spent hours picking them. I ended up most of times with my clothes all dirty with the juice of them. I couldn’t resist eating them before I went back home.”

Dean laughs in a cute way. “I wish I could have seen that. You covered with stains of berries all over your clothes and face.”

Castiel bites his lip at the same time he smiles. “And also with stains of grass on my trousers.”

They laugh together in a soft but happy way. Dean can picture a small Cas doing all of that and he likes the picture. He is sure that Cas was beyond adorable when he was a little kid.

“Sounds like a happy memory.” Dean says with tenderness.

“It was.” Cas smiles in a sad and nostalgic way.

“How old were you when you did that?” Dean asks curious.

“Six years old.”

“That little and you went all by yourself to the woods?!” He drops his mouth, showing how shocked he is. “You never got lost or something?”

Castiel shakes his head. “No. I have always guided myself really good. I knew perfectly all the parts of the woods and how to get home.”

“You never stop surprising me.” He says amused. He drinks again. Another sip and he will finish the rosemary infusion.

Castiel blushes and strokes nervously his neck. “You have an overrated opinion of me.”

“I don’t.”

Castiel meets his eyes. Dean’s eyes show confidence on his words and Castiel can’t help blushing a little bit more. Dean is the first person who doesn’t think there’s something wrong with him, that he shouldn’t be like that. Dean likes how Castiel is. Dean is the only person who has tried to make Castiel happy, to help him, to make him smile. Dean is the only person in Castiel’s life that has showed that he truly cares about him. There are a lot of thing that Dean doesn’t know about him, he doesn’t know a lot of things about Dean either, all related from their pasts, but when they are together, they are themselves, there’s no mask in their faces, there’s no pretending when they are together, and they like how they are.

Finally, Dean drinks the remaining, making his disgusted face and letting out a pant. “Done.” Dean says raising his arm with the mug.

“It wasn’t that hard.” Castiel smiles hussy.

Dean glares him. “Shut up.” He hands him the mug and Castiel picks it.

Castiel stands up and washes the mug, then, he leaves in the sinks support and he puts the toothbrushes and the toothpaste inside of it. Then, he turns and offers a hand to Dean to stand up. Dean grabs his hand and he stands up slowly.

“Are you feeling better?” Castiel wonders. Always with his concerned eyes.

“Yeah. Thanks a lot, Cas.” Dean says. He ducks to pick Castiel’s pillow while Cas picks the towel and starts to fold it.

When Castiel turns, after putting the towel in the towel hanger, Dean is already in the bedroom, putting Castiel’s pillow back in its place. Castiel switches off the bathroom lights and goes to the bedroom.

“Don’t read more tonight, you need to rest.” Castiel says.

“How did you know I wanted to keep reading?” Dean asks surprised.

“Because I know you.”

Dean smirks. “I won’t argue with you then.” He goes to his bed and Castiel follows him. “I’m not going to fall, Cas.”

“You never know.”

Dean sits down, while Cas is standing next to his bed, and Dean gets into the bed. Suddenly, Castiel is covering him with the sheet and the quilt, and Dean gives him a weird look.

“Are you also going to give a goodnight kiss in my forehead?” Dean asks sassily.

“Do you want one?” Castiel asks quickly. 

Dean’s face is really red, more than Castiel’s usual blush. Castiel is looking at Dean, as if giving a goodnight kiss was something very usual. Cas sometimes doesn’t know how awkward he really is. But without awkwardness, Cas wouldn’t be Cas.

“Just go to sleep, I’m fine.” Dean manages to say after a while.

“Goodnight Dean.” Castiel says.

“Goodnight Cas.” Dean says.

Castiel switches off the lights and gets in bed. Dean can see him with the weak light that leaks through the small and tall window. He doesn’t know why he got blushed with Cas asking if he wanted a goodnight kiss. Everything with Cas is so different, Cas is different, he likes Cas, he is his best friend, and there something about him that Dean adores. He can’t feel nervous with those small touches he sometimes gets from Cas because they feel really good. Cas gives him something that no one has ever given him, a peace in his heart and a heartwarming sensation quite high. Castiel is the one that keeps his mind sane. Whenever Dean feels another panic attack like that, he has to grasp himself on Cas, because Cas is everything he has in that place. He has lost his freedom, his life and a lot of things, but Cas is the only thing he has, the only person, and honestly, Dean thanks that.


	9. Sound of Laughter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, for the kudos, for the comments, for the bookmarks and for the subcription, I'm really grateful :)

September has arrived. The temperatures are still nice, but Castiel knows that soon, in just a couple of days, they will get low. Now, he has to bottom his shirt up because it isn’t as sunny and hot as some weeks ago. Even Dean, who is always warm and feeling hot, has noticed how the temperatures have gone a little down.

Castiel was born in the Brown Lands, and yet, he isn’t used too much to the cold temperatures of the country. The winter is really hard and cold, and working on the garden during winter is difficult, but he has been doing that for almost nine years, what’s one more?

Of course, he hasn’t to work on the garden during the whole winter. When it is raining, Jo makes him do another task; she doesn’t want Castiel to get inside the house all wet. Or when the air blows really fast, because the last thing Jo wants is to have an accident with a slave and she doesn’t want the slave to spoil anything from the garden.

Castiel is on a ladder, pruning some hedges, shaping them just how Jo wants it. The hedges are really tall, and if you see them from the air, they make wonderful shapes, like spirals, curved lines and straight lines. Castiel likes the design of the garden. Too bad it belongs to that cruel family. But at least, the garden gives a bit of color to the gray life of the house.

While he is pruning, standing on that ladder, he can see the garage. Dean likes to work with the garage door opened, so the sun fills the garage. Castiel can’t see Dean very well, only when he is moving to find a tool or something, but Castiel likes to know that his friend is in there, working quite close to him, even if he can’t see him at all.

It is strange how Dean has changed his life in a lot of things. Castiel used to have sad eyes, not expression at all in his face. He used to be sad and depressed. He only talked when Jo or Crowley wanted him to talk. But Dean changed all of that. Yes, he is still trapped and he is a slave, but Dean warms his life. Before Dean, Castiel was in a scary and huge darkness, he was living in a pit of pain, sadness and frustration, but Dean gave him a hand and helped him to get out of that darkness. They are still living in the darkness, but not when they are together. Before Dean arrived, Castiel felt like he was dead inside, but he doesn’t feel dead inside anymore. He feels alive, as if he was able to breathe again, to feel something that isn’t pain or sadness.

This house isn’t a paradise, he doesn’t forget that, but when he is with Dean, he feels happiness. Life in the Harvelle’s house is hard and dark, but things are easier to carry on with Dean. They aren’t happy to be there, they aren’t like Azazel or Alastair, that they enjoy being there, mostly because they have privileges, like not sharing their bedroom with anyone, they have their own bedrooms, they can sometimes have things that other slaves don’t have and eat better food once in a while. This house is like a prison, and they can’t get out, but being with Dean, makes life easier.

Castiel keeps pruning and he sighs. It’s a shame that Dean and he met in that awful place. He doesn’t know why Dean ended up in the Brown Lands. He doesn’t understand how he keeps going on, although three days ago Dean had a panic attack, but despite of that, Dean keeps carrying on. Maybe Castiel is one of the reasons of why Dean keeps going. Castiel likes to think that. He knows that in fact. Dean is always telling him how much he appreciates having him as a friend.

After some minutes, Castiel knows it is almost lunch time, so he saves the gardening tools in the huge gardening tools box, leaving it next to the ladder, he will put them back in the shed in the afternoon, when he finishes the work day. Then, he goes to the garage to find Dean.

He likes going to the garage and finding Dean working on a car. But the thing he loves most about going to the garage, it is the smile that Dean makes when he sees Castiel there. Castiel will never get tired of that happy smile; even Dean’s beautiful green eyes shine when he sees him and Castiel feels great to be the reason of Dean’s smile.

“Hello Dean.” Castiel says once he arrives at the garage.

Dean is behind the hood, looking at the engine. “Hey Cas.” Dean greets turning his face to see him. He has that smile Castiel loves. “Hold on a second, I’ve gotta tighten a screw.” He uses the spanner and Castiel waits for him, looking how Dean works.

Castiel can’t help looking at Dean’s bottom for a moment. He is standing in that position that is really hard not to stare at it. He turns his sight quickly, he is a bit blushed. Then, he remembers what happened a couple of days ago, when Dean said he was looking at Castiel’s bottom and that made Castiel fall inside the bathtub. He makes a hussy smile.

“Okay. Done.” Dean says leaving the spanner in its place. After that, he approaches Castiel, who starts to smile widely and in a funny way. “Why are you smiling like that?” He asks narrowing his eyes.

“There’s oil on your left cheek.” Castiel explains. 

Dean touches the oil with his hand, getting his fingers stained with oil. He looks at his hand surprised. “Do I have too much?”

“Just a little.” Castiel approaches him and he cups Dean’s face with one of his hands and with the other, he removes the oil stain. He is really close to Dean. Dean starts to blush, but Castiel doesn’t realize it until all the stain is gone. He looks at Dean’s eyes. They are too close. Castiel should move away, but he can’t and he doesn’t know why. He likes looking at Dean so close, being able to see every single different green shade in his eyes, to see every tiny freckle on his face. The funny thing is that Dean doesn’t pull away either, he keeps his sight on Castiel’s eyes. Why can’t they move?

“I—” Castiel starts to say difficulty. He is now really blushed. He is surprised he didn’t blush before. He moves away, leaving some space between both of them. “I need a cloth or something to wipe my hand.”

“Yeah— right.” Dean swallows. He looks like he had just woken up from a dream. He looks for a cloth and he takes Castiel’s hand and Castiel blushes even more with that touch. Maybe it’s Dean’s time to get his revenge for having Cas touching him like that. But Castiel doesn’t complain; he enjoys how Dean is cleaning his fingers gently. Then, Dean cleans his own hand and then he leaves the cloth. “Any other stain? I’m sure blondie won’t like us staining his pretty horrible house, right?” He says in a sassy voice.

Castiel makes an acid smile. “No there aren’t any left. I don’t understand why she gets so upset with stains, slaves are the ones who clean the house, not her.”

Dean shrugs. “I don’t understand most of the things she does.” He sighs. “Well, let’s go to eat. I’m hungry.” He starts to walk outside the garage and Castiel walks next to him.

“You are always hungry.” He laughs.

“I’m not hungry when I finish eating.”

Castiel makes a bitch face. “I doubt it.”

“Don’t bitch face me.” He pushes friendly Castiel away and Castiel laughs. Then, Castiel is the one who pushes Dean and he laughs. “You always have to take your revenge, right?” He arches one eyebrow.

“Of course I have to.”

Dean laughs loudly. Castiel loves that laugh. It is so bright, so happy. He will never get tired of hearing Dean’s laughter; it warms Castiel’s heart in an inexplicable way. Castiel has never made anyone laugh like that. People used to laugh at him because he was weird and different, but Dean doesn’t laugh because Castiel is different, he laughs because he likes what Castiel says, because he finds it funny.

Having a friend is something new to Castiel, he didn’t have friends when he was a kid and he never expected to find a friend as a slave. He is very different from everyone in the Brown Lands, he wasn’t cut in the same pattern like anyone else in that country. Even slaves think in the same way like people with white collars. People have always believed that there was something really wrong with Castiel, but Dean doesn’t. Everything related with Dean is so different, so unexpected and Castiel really likes it.

They go to the kitchen, today there’s pasta with tomato sauce. Dean loves pasta. He eats a bunch of macaroni, enjoying every single taste of it. Usually, food tends to be the adequate quantity to not feel hungry, but every time pasta is cooked, there’s a lot; the cooks don’t know how to make the appropriate amount of pasta, something that Dean thanks, because he has more to eat.

Castiel smiles as he sees Dean eating the pasta, getting all his mouth dirty with tomato sauce. Dean catches his smile and his happy sight.

“Having fun as you see me eating?” Dean asks mouthful.

“Don’t talk with your mouth full, it is bad manners.” Castiel says with a look any mother will give you at saying that. He eats some macaroni.

Dean rolls his eyes and he swallows. “Answer my question.”

“You look funny with all the tomato sauce on your mouth.” He recognizes with a happy smile. He starts to chew the pasta. “You are a mess while you eat pasta.” He adds after swallowing the food.

“I eat it with devotion.”

Castiel laughs. He puts a hand in his mouth, trying to hide the laugh in order to not get any attention from the slaves. That makes Dean smile. He shows his teeth and the crinkles in his eyes appear. He is laughing low, trying to hide his laughter from the others, only being audible for Cas, because he only wants Cas to hear it.

“You are one of a kind.” Castiel says.

Dean makes a proud face and before he eats more macaroni, he winks an eye. Castiel doesn’t know what that means, so he just tilts his head in confusion, half closing his eyes. Dean looks at him and he makes a grin, trying to hold his laughter inside. He is enjoying the fact that Castiel didn’t know what that wink meant.

“Why did you wink an eye?” Castiel asks.

“Don’t you know why people wink?” Dean wonders. He still has the smile drawn on his lips. Castiel shakes his head. “It can be several things. Like for example, that you are joking, that you are flirting, that you agree with what someone said…”

“Oh, I see.” He makes a thoughtful grimace.

They keep eating and then, they go together back to their jobs. One of the things Castiel has noticed is that Dean likes to go to the garage by the longest way. He could go through the hall and at the end of it, he will find a door that leads him directly to the garage, but instead, Dean walks through the main door, he almost circles the house and then, he arrives to the garage. He knows the shortcut, but he likes the other way, because that means he can walk next to Cas. And Cas likes that Dean chooses to go with him instead of going directly to the garage. Castiel appreciates those details.

“Cas, if I want to get my hair cut, who do I have to tell?” Dean asks while they are walking outside the house.

“If you want to cut your hair you must do it by yourself.” Castiel answers. “We have scissors in our bathroom.”

“Do we?” He is perplexed. He never saw scissors. Of course, he didn’t even saw Castiel’s berries, so there must be a lot of things they have and Dean doesn’t know about them.

“We do.” Castiel confirms. “Do you want to have your hair cut? It’s not too long.”

“Yeah. I don’t like it too long I don’t want to—” _To look like Sam_. He looks down and he swallows. He has stopped walking. Castiel has it too. He is looking at Dean worried. Sometimes it’s easy to forget that Sam isn’t alive anymore. He hasn’t accepted what happened to him. Dean still wants to believe that everything was a joke or a nightmare, that his little brother is in USA, alive, with his happy smile and his long hair, living that happy life he had before he died. But he isn’t.

“Dean, what’s wrong?” Castiel has never seen Dean this sad, not even when he came to the house. He places his hand in Dean’s shoulder.

“Nothing, just—” He sighs. “The past.” He manages to say as he raises his sight to meet Castiel’s. Dean keeps walking and Castiel doesn’t know why Dean is this sad. He wishes he could do something to make him feel better, but he doesn’t know the reason behind Dean’s sadness and he is sure that Dean doesn’t want to talk about it.

Castiel starts walking, catching Dean, who is looking down and with really sad face. “If you want to, I can cut your hair. If you trust my poor skills.” Castiel says cordially.

Dean moves his eyes to see Castiel’s. “I bet you do it pretty good.” He makes a sad smile, although Castiel knows that it isn’t a forced one, it is a true one.

They have arrived to the spot where Castiel has to turn left to go to the garden and Dean has to keep walking straight to go to the garage, so they both stop. “I will cut your hair tonight if you want to.”

“Yeah, tonight. Thanks Cas.”

“You are welcome, Dean.”

Dean makes again that sad smile and he starts to walk slowly. Castiel hates seeing Dean like that, so sad, so broken. He is standing there, watching how Dean walks towards the garage. He is worried about his friend. That sadness is unusual in Dean. He is sad sometimes, but not like today.

“Dean!” Castiel yells. Dean turns and he looks at Cas, with a confused face. Castiel narrows his eyes. He doesn’t know what to say or do. He looks down, ashamed and he bites his lower lip.

“Something’s wrong?” Dean says approaching slowly to him.

“No, I just—” He starts to say difficulty. He doesn’t know what to say. He is sure that if he tried to say or do something to cheer up Dean it would be awkward and Dean would give him a confused look. “It’s nothing, sorry for disturbing you.”

Dean tilts his head, showing his confusion and Castiel turns over to go to work on the garden, just where he was pruning, where the ladder is waiting for him. He knows that Dean must be trying to understand what was all that about. Castiel succeeded on doing something awkward, but a small awkward thing.

When he is in the top of the ladder, he looks at the garage, trying to see Dean, but he can’t see him. Castiel sighs. Dean has his dark past too. He wants to know Dean’s story, but he doesn’t know when he will be able to ask him about his past. Castiel knows that Dean’s past can be really dark, like his, and sharing it, it is difficult and it hurts. And of course, Dean isn’t a big fan of talking, as Castiel has known, despite of the few times they have shared a deep talk, but Dean would rather not talk like that for too long. Dean has trouble with words, and Castiel doesn’t understand why exactly. Sometimes Dean is very direct at saying things, but when it comes to real talk, with feelings and things like that, Dean tries to avoid it because he seems to get uncomfortable.

Dean has his defects, like Castiel, but Castiel likes everything from Dean, his attributes and his quirks. All of that makes Dean who he is; it’s what makes Dean so special. For Castiel, Dean shines in an unique way. He really likes Dean. He has never liked someone the way he likes Dean. They have a special bond, something that links them. It is hard to describe it but there’s something between them, something that Castiel has never had with anyone before. It’s something new and good that he doesn’t know what it is exactly; but he knows that it exists.

The rest of the afternoon goes like always, Castiel working on different tasks on the garden until he knows that it’s suppertime. He picks the gardening tools box and the ladder and he brings them back to the shed. After that, he goes to the garage, like always, looking for Dean, hoping that his friend isn’t sad anymore.

“Hello Dean.” Castiel says.

“Hey.” Dean says with a smile. He is saving the pliers in the tools box. He still looks sad, but not as much as before.

“How are you?” Castiel asks. He doesn’t like seeing Dean like that. His smile is wonderful and the sound of his laughter is marvelous, anything that shows that Dean is happy is perfect.

“I’m fine.” He simply answers. His sight is still focused on the tools box.

Castiel sighs. Fine never means _fine_. He knows that. It is the word everyone uses to say that they are bad but they don’t want to talk about it or let anyone know that they are feeling bad. He approaches Dean and he leans his hands in the table. “You aren’t fine.”

“Cas, it’s nothing. Just forget it.” He doesn’t want to talk about it and he is annoyed. His voice was so strong and pissed off. Castiel looks down, regretting the question. Dean catches the sad and devastated look Castiel has. He was so direct and sharp. Castiel doesn’t deserve that. “I’m sorry Cas, I didn’t—” Dean starts to say repentant. He sighs. “I shouldn’t have talked to you like that. Please forgive me.”

“It’s okay.” He says low.

“No, Cas it’s not okay.” Dean sighs. Castiel raises his sight, Dean truly regrets it. “I don’t like talking to you like that. You didn’t do anything to piss me off.” He sinks himself in the deep ocean of Castiel’s eyes. “I’m really sorry.”

Castiel makes a tiny smile. “There’s nothing to be sorry about, Dean.” He says in a sweet voice. Sometimes he forgets that Dean can be fragile. He is always so strong that it is easy to Castiel to forget that Dean is also broken in too many ways.

“I don’t deserve someone as great as you.” He says shyly.

Castiel blushes a lot. He can see how Dean makes a small and proud smile while he is closing the toolbox because Dean knows that Castiel is blushing for that. Dean has just said that Castiel is great and that he doesn’t deserve him. Does Dean think that he isn’t good enough for Castiel? Why would Dean think that? Dean is great. He is beyond great. Sometimes Castiel is the one who thinks that Dean is too great for him. Castiel is all broken and messy.

“Stop overthinking.” Dean says cutting Castiel’s thoughts.

Castiel shakes his head. “I wasn’t—” He half-closes his eyes.

Dean rolls his eyes and smiles. “You can’t lie to me Cas.”

It’s a strange thing. He can lie to Jo, to Crowley, to any other slave, of course, they are about small things, but he can’t lie to Dean, he knows when he is lying. “How do you know I was overthinking?”

They start to walk outside the garage. Dean stops to close the garage door. “Your eyes.” He answers. “They are so expressive.”

“Like yours.”

That surprises Dean and he blushes a little. “I guess.” He shrugs and he keeps walking next to Cas.

“I was thinking that I’m not great as you think.” He starts to say.

“Bullshit.”

“Do you know you really have a filthy mouth, Dean?” He says arching a brow.

Dean can’t help laughing. Castiel has succeeded on making Dean laugh and he can’t help that happiness and satisfaction growing inside him. “Yeah, I know.” He looks at Cas. His green eyes are still a bit sad, but they are brighter than before. “I could try swearing less.”

“It doesn’t bother me. Dean without swearing wouldn’t be Dean.” He smiles.

Dean blushes a lot and Castiel smirks. He can understand why Dean likes to make him blush so often. Dean looks really cute blushed and Castiel feels quite good for making him blush. Dean is the one that always makes Castiel’s face turn so red, but sometimes, Castiel is the one who can get Dean’s face all red.

Soon, they arrive to the kitchen and they sit down. For dinner there’s meatballs and a few French fries. Their dinner goes like always, eating and talking about a little of anything that comes to their mind. Once they finish eating, they go to their bedroom together, they lock the door, like always, and they go to the bathroom to brush their teeth.

“Are you sure you want me to cut your hair?” Castiel questions when he has spitted the water mixed with the foam of the toothpaste.

Dean nods and then, he spits. “You cut and prune trees, plants and bushes in the garden, I don’t think my hair is going to give more trouble than that.” He says.

Castiel makes a confused and weird grimace. “Are you comparing yourself with a plant?”

Dean laughs loudly. He moves towards the washing machine. Tonight is laundry day for them, so he picks the detergent before he starts the washing machine. They usually put the washing machine during the nights, luckily, the washing machine doesn’t make any annoying noises at all, and the next day, when they wake up, they put the wet clothes in the drier, so when they come back to their bedroom, everything is clean and dried.

“What’s so funny?” Castiel says approaching him, showing his confusion and he leans his arms in the drier.

Dean looks at him with a pretty smile. “I just like how you interpret things.” He moves the wheel and the washing machine starts.

Castiel frowns, trying to understand what Dean meant, but Dean doesn’t help him with that smirk. But at least Dean seems to be forgetting whatever that made him feel so sad, and that’s pretty good.

“So, let’s have my hair cut.” Dean says a bit excited. He always seems to be excited by the littlest things. Castiel can understand why; after being taken from everything he had, anything makes him happy. Anything that involves Castiel, of course.

Castiel starts to look in one of the drawers behind the sink for the scissors. “Here they are.” Castiel says picking them.

“Wait.” Dean says astonished. “Those are the scissors?” The scissors are the one little kids in primary school use, the ones with rounded tips.

“What did you expect? Real scissors?” He arches a brow. Dean nods. “Don’t you think that if we had scissors with pointy ends we wouldn’t use them against Jo or Crowley?”

Dean opens his mouth. He didn’t think about that. Scissors could be a dangerous weapon. He closes his mouth and makes a grimace. “Do they actually cut?”

“They do. It takes longer, but they cut.” He says with a smile. “Sit in the border of the bathtub.

Dean complies. Castiel sits in the border of the bathtub too, behind Dean, facing his back. He sits very close to him, so he will be able to cut Dean’s hair easily.

“How much should I cut?” Castiel asks.

“Just a little.” Dean answers. He raises his hand and runs it through his hair. “Until it covers a bit your fingers when you run them through it.” Dean knows how weird that sounded, but Castiel doesn’t seem to notice it; like always.

“So just some inches, right?”

“Right.” He should have said inches instead of that long sentence. He pulls his hand away from his hair.

Cas starts to cut Dean’s hair. “You could have waited a few more weeks until it was longer.” He says. He runs his fingers through Dean’s hair in a nice way that relaxes Dean. Castiel is using his fingers to cut the length Dean wants, so he doesn’t cut too much. “It would have been easier to cut.”

“Yeah, I know.” He sighs. “But I don’t like my hair longer.”

“Why not? You look better with this length.” He says casually. Dean blushes and he turns his face. Sometimes Castiel surprises him when he says things like that. Castiel is so awkward sometimes, he blushes when Dean says something nice to him or when Dean touches him in a friendly way, but there are moments like that, when Cas is so casual saying those things, he doesn’t blush or feel awkward, and that puzzles Dean a lot. “Damn it, Dean!” Castiel yells annoyed and he cups Dean’s temple and turns his face so he isn’t looking at him. “Don’t move your head! Do you want to have an accident?”

“With those scissors?” He laughs. “I can’t believe that they can actually cut hair.”

Castiel rolls his eyes and takes a deep breath. “Just keep your head still.”

Castiel keeps cutting Dean’s hair, being very careful to cut all the hair in the same length. Dean enjoys how Castiel’s fingers move slowly. Meanwhile, they remain in silence or they talk about any topic, like when Cas is going to cut his hair and when he does it, Dean will be the one who cuts it. Castiel has cut his hair by himself for a long time, but having Dean to help him to the places where he can’t reach or see quite well, it’s great, and he is enthusiastic by the idea.

He has finished cutting Dean’s hair, so he looks at it, trying to see if everything is well cut. He moves Dean’s head and Dean can’t help a smile. He likes those small and casual touches.

“Yes, it seems to be all well.” Castiel says. “Let me take off the cut hair in your neck and behind your ears.” He starts to take the hair from the neck and from the collar. He throws it to the bathtub, he will throw it through the drain later. Dean seems to be a little ticklish in there, because he shakes a little when Cas touches him there. But when Cas arrives to the skin behind Dean’s ears, Dean shakes a lot and makes a funny noise. “What’s wrong?” Castiel asks with a rogue smile.

“Don’t touch me there.” Dean says with a bit of giggling. He is very ticklish there and there’s no way he is going to let Cas know that, because Cas would start tickling him there.

“You are ticklish here.” He says giggling and touching Dean again behind his ears.

“Cas! No, please! Stop!” He laughs. He shrugs, so he catches Castiel’s hands between the skin behind his ears and his shoulders, trapping Castiel’s hands and stopping him. Castiel makes a frustrated sound. “I’m terribly ticklish there, so stop.”

“Fine. I won’t touch you there.” He mumbles.

Slowly, Dean moves his shoulders down, freeing Castiel’s hands. He pulls his hands away and Dean breathes relieved. But his relief lasts for just a couple of seconds, because Castiel leans his chin in Dean’s shoulder and he blows Dean’s skin. The bastard wants to play with him and he won’t stop.

“Cas! I’m going to kill you!” Dean yells. It’s not only tickling him, it is sending a nice shiver along his spine. Castiel is laughing; he is enjoying Dean’s reaction. “Stop now!”

“No.” Castiel says with a smirk. He keeps blowing the skin behind Dean’s ear.

Damn it, why can’t Dean move? Castiel has found his weak spot and he isn’t going to stop. If Castiel wants a tickling war, he is going to have it. So Dean turns over, shocking Castiel, and he tries to tickle him, but Castiel, the sneaky motherfucker, finds his way to move himself and blow again in that weak spot. The guy is agile. But Dean moves his hands, placing them in Castiel’s ribs, and he runs his hands fast, something that tickles Castiel a lot, so his friend stops the blowing to start laughing. Dean’s smirk is bigger than ever, but soon, Castiel places his hands behind Dean’s ears and Dean is now the one who is laughing. He doesn’t realize he over lances and he is about to fall into the bath.

But he doesn’t. He is really close to the bathtub’s bottom, just a couple of inches are in between. Dean sees that one of Castiel's hands is fisting his t-shirt. Castiel is holding him. He avoided the hard fall.

Dean places his hands in the bottom of the bathtub. “You can release me Cas. Don’t worry.” Dean says. Castiel checks if there’s no risk for Dean to be hurt and then, he pulls his hand away, so Dean sits slowly inside the bathtub.

“Why do we end up in the bathtub when we are in the bathroom together lately?” Castiel asks laughing.

“Right now it’s only me.” He says smiling. He looks at Castiel in a naughty way. Castiel knows what that sight means. He is about to move away from the edge, but Dean grabs him and pulls him into the bathtub, ending above Dean, who is laughing.

“I should have run.” Castiel says squeezing his nose. “I should have known that you were going to drag me here too.” He is sitting in Dean’s lap. Dean knows this is an awkward stance for both of them, but while Castiel or he doesn’t move in a weird way, it’s good.

“You did this to me the last time.” He arches a brow. Castiel makes a guilty face. “And at least, I dragged you in a nice way, not in that brut way of yours.”

Castiel glares him. “Who made me fall?”

Dean licks his upper lip as he smiles. “If you didn’t react at things like that, you wouldn’t have fallen.” There’s a marked cockiness in every single word. Dean enjoys when Cas gets a bit annoyed. Castiel punches softly his chest and Dean lets out a small groan but he laughs. “C’mon, don’t take it too seriously.”

“I wouldn’t have fallen if you hadn’t stared at my bottom.” He says seriously. He isn’t going to let Dean win this small war.

“I wouldn’t have looked if you had cleaned the bathtub in a normal way.”

Checkmate. Castiel doesn’t know what to say. He is pouting and Dean is enjoying his victory. “You are—” He starts to say frustrated. He lets out a frustrated a frustrated groan and he stirs aggressively but without making any pain at all Dean’s hair. When he is done, Dean looks at him with a confused face and starts to laugh louder than ever.

“That’s your way of getting angry?” Dean says difficulty in between laughs. Cas is adorable and one of a kind. He can’t stop laughing.

Castiel blushes and bites his lower lip. But then, he smiles widely, because Dean is laughing loudly. Castiel has succeeded on making Dean laugh, and that laughter is bright, happy and filled with joy. Castiel loves that sound; he wishes he could hear it all the time. It is bright, happy, powerful and beautiful. Soon, he joins Dean’s laughter, although his isn’t that loud, but it is happy and bright too. Castiel doesn’t think he has laughed like this with anyone, he never laughed too much, just short laughs, but with Dean, he is laughing and smiling most of the time, and he doesn’t know and understand why and how, but Dean always makes him happy.

They keep laughing; their faces are red, Dean’s face is redder than Castiel’s, and their stomachs’ muscles hurt a little bit, but they don’t care, because they feel alive and it’s great. Castiel loves hearing Dean’s laughter, he loves making him happy, he loves spending time with Dean. Everything with Dean is great and new and sometimes Castiel can’t believe he has a friend like him.

Dean takes a deep breath; his lungs are craving for oxygen after the happy laughter. He looks at Castiel, with happy and tender eyes. How can Cas bring him that happiness? They are living in a house of nightmares and yet, Castiel always makes him happy and smile. Dean stares at Castiel’s eyes, those fucking deep, stunning and beautiful blue eyes, he loves those eyes. Those eyes have seen too much things, most of them bad, but Cas’ eyes always bright happily when Dean is with Cas.

Dean realizes how close they are, less than eight inches separates their faces. Cas looks as handsome as always, but with that pretty smile drawn on his lips, he is even more handsome. Dean’s eyes move down to Castiel’s lips. He wants to kiss those lips. Is he actually thinking on kissing him? He really likes Castiel, not because he is handsome, because Castiel is great, he makes him happy, he cares about him and Dean feels worth with him, he feels things he hasn’t felt before. Dean closes that freaking door in his mind and he looks back at Castiel’s eyes, hoping that he hasn’t stare for too long Castiel’s lips. He might be having a crush for Cas and he doesn’t want to think about it or being too obvious about it in front of Cas.

“Why are you looking me like that?” Castiel says confused after a while; he tilts his head also.

Dean smiles. “Because you always make me happy.” It is true, Cas always makes him happy, he makes him smile, he makes things in this house easier and Dean wouldn’t know how to carry on without him. Maybe that’s why he has all those mixed feeli— things, he isn’t going to use that word with stuff related with Cas, because Cas is the first good thing that has happened to him in a long, long time and he makes him feel good and worth.

Of course, Castiel blushes with those words and Dean thinks that’s the cutest thing. “I’m glad to hear that.” He says shyly. “You make me very happy too.”

Dean blushes, but just a little. “We should go to bed, don’t you think?”

Castiel nods. He stands up and gets out of the bathtub. He helps Dean to get out. After that, with the shower, he cleans the bathtub from Dean’s hair. When he is done, they go to their beds, they start to take off their clothes, except their t-shirts and their underwear, they say good night to each other and they switch off the lights.

Dean sees how Cas covers himself until his nose is covered and he smiles. He really likes Castiel. Dean is too broken and Castiel is the one who always puts him together, who always lights his dark world. Oh fuck, he is starting to sound cheesy, he should shut his mind off anyway. His mind shuts up with all of that and before he falls sleep, he remembers the sound of Cas’ laughter and the happiness in his gorgeous blue eyes.


	10. Stories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks a lot for reading, for the kudos, for the bookmarks, for the subscriptions and for the comments. Thanks a lot :)
> 
>  **Warning:** This chapter is really dark. Just saying.

They say that happiness doesn’t last much. Sometimes Dean thinks the saying is true. Yesterday, he had a great night with Castiel, but today, Jo wanted to see him. Like always, Jo wanted to have sex with him. She used the stun gun because Dean didn’t want to and she tied him to the bed. When he woke up, Jo tried to get him hard, but she couldn’t, no mattered how hard she tried. Dean smirked proudly, this time he didn’t spit her or insult her, he didn’t have time for that, because she used the stun gun again and he passed out. When he woke up, he was in the punishment room and Jo hit him with the whip several times, until she got tired.

Now Dean is in his bedroom, being healed by Cas, who was waiting in Dean’s bed with all the things he uses to heal the whip’s wounds, the cloths, the wonderful antiseptic that Dean thinks he is going to give Cas a medal for it because it heals better than anything he has ever used, the bands and the tapes to stick the bands.

At least tonight, Jo didn’t use a dagger, only the whip, but it still sores. If Jo keeps doing that so frequently, Dean is sure that the skin on his back is going to become as hard as a stone.

“I will never be able to thank you enough all of this, Cas.” Dean says with a tiny smile.

“Dean, you don’t need to thank me anything, you would do the same for me.” Castiel says with a shy smile. He is starting to put the bandages in Dean’s wounds.

“I would.” He recognizes.

Castiel watches the back. He hates how Jo destroys it with the whip, he hates all the pain she causes to Dean, he hates all the bad things she does to Dean. He wishes that Dean didn’t have to go through all of that. He doesn’t deserve any of that, Dean is too good for all of that. He wonders how someone like Dean could have ended in the Brown Lands.

He bites his lower lip. Castiel wants to ask, but maybe Dean won’t like to talk about it. He keeps putting the bands in the wounds while he thinks about it. If Dean doesn’t want to talk about it, it is fine, but at least, he has to try asking him.

“Dean.” Castiel says. Dean makes a humming noise, telling him to go on. “Can I ask you a question? It’s okay if you don’t want to answer me.”

“Ask.” Dean says turning his face to see Castiel.

Castiel puts the last band with tape and he swallows. “How could you end up in the Brown Lands?”

Dean turns his whole body to see Cas perfectly. “It’s a long story, Cas.” He says.

“If you don’t want to tell me it’s okay, Dean, I was just curious.” At least Dean didn’t seem angry and that’s a relief although he wishes Dean could have told him his story.

“You misunderstood me.” Dean says. Castiel looks at him confused with a frown. “You want to know the whole story, right?” He asks. He is ready to tell him all the story, his past and why he is in the Brown Lands, because he trusts Cas, he is his best friend. Castiel nods. Dean puts on his t-shirt. “I will tell you my story, but if you tell me yours.”

“Seems fair.” Castiel says. Castiel is ready too to tell his best friend his story. It is going to hurt, but Dean deserves to know.

“Are you sure about this?” Dean asks worried. He knows that Cas is always uncomfortable with his past and he always reacts in a painful way.

Castiel nods. “I am.”

“Okay. Save all that stuff and I’ll start.”

Castiel stands up and goes to the bathroom to save all the medical stuff in their corresponding places. Then, he goes back to Dean’s bed and he sits next to him. They are facing each other and really close, their knees are touching.

“Here I go.” Dean starts to say. He takes a deep breath. “I was born in USA, in a little town called Lawrence, in Kansas. My mother’s name was Mary, and my father’s name was John. And the name of my little brother was Sam.” He sighs. Remembering anything related with Sam hurts a lot. He will never get used to his brother’s death. “When my brother was six months old, just a baby, and I was four years old, there was a fire in our home. My father took Sam and he gave him to me and told me: ‘take your brother outside as fast as you can.’ I saved Sammy.” He makes a proud and sad smile. He takes a deep breath. That happened twenty-eight years ago, some of the memories from that night were blurry, but Dean could remember the smell, the fear and how long it seemed the way to get outside with Sammy in his arms. “But—” He looks up. The words are stuck in his throat.

“Dean.” Cas starts to say. This is a new side of Dean that Castiel doesn’t now; the broken and sad part of Dean. He has seen Dean at bad moments, but tonight, as he tells his story, Dean is more fragile than ever. “You can stop if you don’t want to go on.” He sounds sweet. He knows what Dean feels.

“No, Cas, I want to tell you everything.” He moves his eyes to meet Castiel’s. Those eyes always relax him. “It’s just that—”

“Memories hurt.” Castiel finishes.

“Yeah.” He grins sadly. He takes some seconds before going back to the story. He takes a deep breath before he goes on. “But my mother died. My father tried to save her, but he couldn’t.” Dean looks down. The smell of the fire, burning their home, it was stuck in his mind, he could still smell it. He could see how flames devoured their home. “We lost our home and mom that night. And dad was never the same after that.”

He makes a small pause. “Without a home,” Dean keeps saying, “we moved from motel to motel, living in different towns for a couple of weeks. Dad used to spend the nights in bars drinking until he arrived at the motel, all drunk and sleepy, falling down in the couch to sleep. I was the one who had to take care of Sammy because most of the time, dad wasn’t there.”

“You had to grow up really fast.” Castiel says.

Dean nods. “We didn’t have a lot of money. Dad usually got temporary jobs or he played poker or pool in bars, trying to get enough money for food, gas for the Impala, dad’s car, and to pay for a motel room, but it was really difficult, because he spent most of the money on alcohol.” He sighs again. “There were times when I had to go to a shop and steal food because Sammy was hungry, I was used to be hungry, but I couldn’t let Sammy to be hungry too, and without money, the only way to get food was to steal it. One night I was caught and I have to spend the night in jail. Dad got angry with me because I stole. I wanted to tell him to fuck off, that I did it because he spent all the money drinking and Sammy was hungry, that I couldn’t do anything more, but he never listened, I didn’t want to get him angrier, so I just accepted that I disappointed him.”

Castiel is listening very closely to every single word that Dean says. Every word is filled with emotion and pain. Dean’s childhood wasn’t easy, and yet, he was able to take care of his little brother.

“Life kept going, but our lives were the same, travelling around the country, without a defined destination, living in motels, going to different schools every month… And dad kept working in everything he could find and wasting his nights on the bar. Sammy and I were everything we had. As we grew up, dad’s drinking problems were getting worst. When I was eight years old and Sammy was four, he started to leave us with a friend of his, Bobby, who took care of us really well. Bobby even played baseball with Sam and me.” He smiles with that happy memory. Bobby is the father that Sam and Dean deserved to have. He did a lot of things for him and Sam when they were just little kids. Bobby was the one who gave them a deserved childhood when Sam and Dean stayed at his house. “We stayed with him when dad got a job that lasted more than a month, until he got tired and we went back to the road. It was always the same, the road, a new motel, a new school, a new job, going to Bobby’s, and back to the road. Always the same. But then, when I was ten years, Sam was six, dad had a car accident. He died. The police said he was extremely drunk and he crashed against a wall. Luckily, that time, Sam and I were living at Bobby’s.” Dean remembers how bad he took the news, he started punching and kicking some of the old cars and junk from Bobby’s mechanic workshop. He was furious because he knew that his dad would end up like that sooner or later. When Bobby saw him, he didn’t get angry, he just hugged Dean and he calmed him down. Sam cried a lot and Dean had to comfort him for a couple of nights. Dean was the bigger brother, so he had to stay strong for Sam, even if Dean was feeling weaker than ever. He was just ten years old, but he already hated talking about feelings and looking broken.

“Bobby adopted us. He even took the Impala and taught me how to repair it. Both of us repaired it and the car was mine. Bobby has a car repair garage, that’s where I worked before I came here and he was the one who made me love working with cars.” He smiles in a nostalgic way. “Well, back to the story.” He says clearing his throat. “Bobby adopted us and he raised us. When he did that, his car repair garage wasn’t really successful, but he had enough money to feed us and to buy us books for school and clothes. That house became our home and Bobby was the closest thing to a father we ever had. We never called him father, or dad or anything like that, but he was a father to Sammy and me.” 

He looks at Castiel’s eyes, all sympathetic, sharing the feelings Dean is telling with his words. “But I had trouble accepting that mom and dad were gone, and I was always a problematic kid. When I started high school I started to get in a lot of troubles. I didn’t like high school, I mean, I like learning things, but I hated how everyone judges you for the smallest thing, I hated the bullies, I hated how some teachers only cared about going to class to give a lesson and they didn’t care if we learnt or not, I hated how it was a waste of time.” He sighs frustrated. “I used to get into fights with some bullies, but they leave me alone after the first fight, of course, the principal didn’t like that so most of my time I spent it in the detention room. But not only because of the fights, I truanted too, so…”

He sighs again. “The only good thing about high school were the chicks, I had a lot of sex in high school.” He smirks. Castiel narrows his eyes a bit confused. “You never had sex in high school?” He wonders

“I will tell you later about that.” Castiel says taking a deep breath.

“Yeah, sorry. Back to the point. So I was a problematic teenager, I had bad marks, I got into a few fights, I missed classes and I used to make out with a lot of chicks, every single week I was with a new chick. I guess I wanted to feel something but—” He isn’t going to talk about that. That’s dangerous territory. He has to stick with the facts, not with that other crap.

Dean clears his throat. “But Sam was a great student. He was fucking intelligent, I was really proud of him. He was the kid with the greatest marks on his class. He was a nerd, but he even had time to have friends and he had that normal life he always wanted when we used to drive without any direction.” He will always feel proud of his little brother. All the things that Sam achieved were awesome, and he always thanked Dean to help him, to take care of him. The only thing Dean didn’t like about his brother was how annoying he was sometimes when he insisted on Dean to study harder.

“Sam even got a scholarship to go to Stanford and study to be a lawyer.” He remembers how happy Sam came home when he knew that he had a scholarship. “But before that, a couple of years before, I started to work for Bobby, by that time his car repair garage was starting to go pretty well and he needed some help, so I gave up high school and started to work. He even paid me quite much.” There’s that nostalgic and sad smile again. “When Sam decided he wanted to go to college I panicked. College is fucking expensive and Bobby and I didn’t have a lot of money to afford Sam’s college studies and I started to drink a lot, because I wanted a future for my brother, he deserved it, but I couldn’t give it to him.”

Sam used to get really angry when he saw Dean arriving home all drunk. Dean argued with him most of the nights and their relationship started to be very difficult. “Sam and I used to argue when I arrived home drunk.” Dean keeps telling. “There was too much pressure and I didn’t know how to handle it. During some nights I worked on a bar and there were times when I only slept four hours, if I got lucky, but I didn’t care because I was making more money to pay Sam’s college. When Sam found out, he started to punch me and he cried because it was killing me, he said I didn’t have to do all of that for him, that he would find a way to pay for his studies. He told me that I always did more for him than I should, that I needed to have a life, to try to be happy and stop burning myself to help him, because he didn’t want me to end up in a bad way.” He can’t help feeling an ache growing in his heart. Sam was a really great person, why did he have to die?

“He cared about you a lot.” Castiel says with a lovely voice.

“He always cared about me. I was the big brother and I always cared about him, I always looked after him, but sometimes, he was the one who made me carry on.” He looks down. His eyes are glassy. Remembering his brother isn’t easy. It won’t be easy ever again. He rubs his eyes with his thumbs. “And when he found out that he had that scholarship, he worked for a month so he gave me back all the money I earned, in order to thank me all the hours of tiredness I spent.”

A tear falls from his eyes and Castiel is surprised. He has never seen Dean crying or anything. “Fuck—” Dean says removing the tear. “I hate being emotional.” He says pissed off. Castiel places his hand in Dean’s shoulder and he strokes it softly and Dean thanks that touch.

“Take your time.” Castiel advises.

Dean nods. He takes a couple of deep breaths before talking again. “Sam went to college, I kept working in Bobby’s garage, and as years passed, the garage started to work better, he even hired another employee, for all the computer stuff, and life kept going. I even bought a house for myself when I had enough money. It was great to live in Bobby’s house but I wanted a place for myself, to have my stuff and where I could have my privacy.” He explains. “Sam became a lawyer, he even had a girlfriend, oh crap, she was perfect for him. Her name was Jess, they were perfect for each other. Everything seemed to be happy and perfect, but it didn’t last.”

Dean tries to keep the tears in his eyes he doesn’t want to cry, although deep inside, he needs to, but he will hold the tears. “Sam always got big important chases and he won like ninety percent of them or so. He always tried to change the world. That’s why he came to the Brown Lands, I guess.” He sighs. Castiel’s eyes show a bit of fear. “There was a chase here, from a person from United States who lost his daughter because someone turned her into a slave. Y’know, we only know a few things about the Brown Lands, that there are slaves and your weather sucks. Only important people, like business men or politicians, know what’s going on here. The rest of us, don’t know much.”

“You don’t know how awful and dangerous this place is.” Castiel adds.

“We don’t.” He sighs. “We know it is an awful thing having slaves, but we don’t know about how really dark things are here.” He opens his eyes widely, showing his astonishment. “Sam didn’t know about it either. There was a trial here, and Sam told in front of a lot of people, I guess that all of them had white collars, that slavery was a crime, that everyone in that country was a monster for believing in slavery and things like that. When he got out from the trial, that night, he was murdered by some of the men that assisted the trial.”

Castiel opens his mouth horrified. “Your brother was murdered for that?”

Dean nods. The pain is his heart is too painful. “He was stabbed sixteen times.” He says with a broken voice. “All because he said the truth. Because he wanted to free that girl.” He sobs, but he doesn’t cry. “They gave us Sam’s body and they said that Sam suffered an accident. He was stabbed sixteen fucking times!” Another tear falls. Castiel doesn’t know what to say or do, so he only places his hand in Dean’s shoulder, stroking it. “I needed to know the truth, Cas, I needed to know why my brother died, so I came here too and I found out what happened. My little brother, who always fought for everything, for me and for himself since always and now he was fighting for people who needed someone who fought for them, died because he told some fucking bastards the fucking truth of what they were, that they should stop with slavery. They killed him for that. Because he was a good man.” Those last words are said with a broken voice and Dean places his hand in his eyes, drying his tears.

“Dean.” Cas starts to says breathy.

“Don’t worry Cas.” Dean says with a broken voice. He knows that Cas is going to try to search for words that help him to feel a bit better. He takes a deep breath. “I’m used to all this crap. Every person I care about ends up badly.” He sighs. “I hope that doesn’t happen with you.”

Castiel makes a sad smile. “It won’t.” He dries one of the tears in Dean’s chin. “So that’s why you came here, to find the truth about your brother’s death?”

“Yeah.” He takes another deep breath. “Then I wnet to a bar and I was caught there, brought to the salve's market and sold." He adds quickly. "Told you, long story.” He says with a forced smile. “And a sad one too.” He looks down again. “My life will always be a sad story.”

“Is it sad when you are with me?” Castiel wonders.

Dean looks at Castiel’s eyes; they are sad, worried and a bit scared. “It’s never sad when I’m with you.” Dean knows that sounded too cheesy, but he can’t deny that when he is with Cas, sadness doesn’t exist. “Although now I’m sad because of the story, but that’s not your fault.” He jokes with a tiny smile.

“Well, that’s understandable.” Castiel says with his serious voice.

Dean stirs Castiel’s hair and Castiel purrs a little. Then, when Dean pulls his hand away, he asks Castiel “What’s your story?”

Castiel sighs. “My story is long and sad too.” He says looking at Dean’s eyes. He takes a deep breath. He hasn’t told his story to anyone. Dean is going to be the first one to hear it. “I was born here, in the Brown Lands, in a small town called Nolerton. I was born in a rich family.”

“You were born in a white collar family?” He asks surprised.

Castiel nods. “Nobody is born in a black collar family. Black collar families don’t exist. Slaves are people who had been captured, like you, or people who have done something bad; instead of having prisons, they turn people into slaves. Also, if you are an orphan, when you are fourteen, they turn you into a slave. Fourteen is the legal age to become a slave. And then, there is my chase.” He sighs. He has just started the story and he is starting to feel pain already. “I had two brothers and a sister. I was the littlest one. My family believed that slavery was good, so we had slaves. They punished them when they did something wrong with a couple of whiplashes.”

He takes a deep breath. “When you are a little kid, you think that your parents and your whole family are great, that the things they do are good, but when it came to slaves, I didn’t think that. I started to see the things they did to the slaves and how bad it was to take someone’s freedom away when I was six. When I told my parents what I thought about slaves, that we shouldn’t have them, my father hit me really hard and told me not to ever dare to say that again, that it was wrong to think about that.” He remembers how his father stood from the couch and he slapped his face in front of everyone, shouting and yelling. Neither his mom nor his sister and his brothers did or say anything.

“They thought that it was a phase, that eventually, I would stop thinking about that.” He takes a deep breath. “I was a really smart kid, in school I went three courses over the one I should be at.”

“Holy shit.” Dean says amused. “I always knew you were fucking intelligent, but holy fuck.”

Castiel blushes. “It is not big deal.” He says shyly. “I was really smart for my age, so my parents thought that I would start to think about slavery in the ‘right’ way. My parents were proud about all my achievements, so when I told them for the first time that slavery was wrong, although my father slapped me, they could live with that. I was smart and I was just only six years old, I didn’t know much about life.”

“But as I grew up, I believed more and more that slavery was wrong. I didn’t tell my parents or my brothers or my sister, but all of them knew that I hated slavery.” He stares at Dean’s eyes. The way that his family started to look at him when he started to be a teenager was creepy; all of them looked at him with contempt, disgust and anger. “Having a kid who hates slavery, it’s something to be ashamed for, something really bad for people with white collars.”

“But you were their family.” Dean says angry. How could a family hate someone because of that?

“They didn’t care. I was a bad person for them, there was something really wrong with me and they couldn’t stand it.” He explains sadly. “But it didn’t only happen with my family, it also happened with everyone. In school, in high school, everyone saw that I was different, I threated slaves in a good way and the teachers punished me, they slapped me all the time and they called my parents to tell them what I did. And the other kids hated me for doing all of that. They hated me because I was the only one with humanity.” He takes another breath. “They bullied me sometimes, but I was always stronger than them and I fought them back. I never had any friends because I was the wrong kid, the kid who doesn’t like slavery, the weird kid…”

“That’s why you never had sex in high school, right?”

Castiel nods. “No one talked to me, no one wanted me near. They always looked at me like they look at you and me here, like if we weren’t people, like if we were scum.” He is feeling sad. No matter where he goes, Castiel is always looked like that. Except Dean, who looks at him in a human way. “Most of the time I was alone, when I was a little kid it was fun, but when I started to grow up, I felt so alone. I was surrounded by people and I felt alone. I know people in high school hated me and it didn’t matter to feel alone when I was near to them, but when I was with my family, I felt really alone. I spent a lot of time reading and learning things, that’s why I know a lot of things. I loved learning about plants and medical stuff specially, although I liked to learn about a lot of more things as well.” There were times when Castiel locked in his bedroom and he sat down on the floor, with his back against the door, with his arm holding his knees, trying to get away from all those sad feelings. He used to read to get away from all of that, but sometimes, even books couldn’t help him with that emptiness inside him.

“One summer, when I was sixteen,” Castiel goes on, “My parents caught me trying to free one of the slaves we had. They said that was the straw that breaks the camel. My father beat me really hard for that.” He takes a deep breath and he looks down. Dean is listening with all his attention to Castiel’s words. “Four days after that, I was in my bedroom and my mother came to tell me that I had to pack in a luggage bag several clothes. I didn’t know why, I asked her but she didn’t answer me. I packed my clothes and went to the living room where she and my father were. But also, there were two other men.”

Dean narrows his eyes, confused. “Who were those men?”

“They were men from the slave’s market.” Castiel answers with a painful voice. “My parents sold me to the slave’s market because having a kid who hates slaves was a shame and I didn’t deserve to have a white collar.”

“They sold you?!” He asks horrified. He can’t believe that. “You were their son, how could they do that?”

Castiel raises his glassy eyes to meet Dean’s. “Because I was the kid they never wanted me to be. I grew up in the wrong way. They couldn’t live with someone who thought that slavery was a crime.” He says with a tear falling down from his eye. “They didn’t care that I was his son. All they cared about was their reputation; how it could be screwed if they kept living with a son like me.” He makes a sympathetic smile. He believed all of that, he kind of still believes that there is something wrong with him. Dean is looking at him with glassy eyes and devastated. “I was broken and the best solution for me was to take me away from them and turn me into a slave.” Castiel looks down again and he closes his eyes. He removes the tear and he sighs.

Dean is horrified with that. He knows his father wasn’t perfect, but his father would have never done something like that. You have to be a heartless bastard to sell your son and turn him into a slave.

Castiel looks more broken than ever. Dean can’t even imagine how bad that was for him, and yet, Castiel is there, with him. He was just sixteen years old when his parents sold him. Dean blinks confused. “Cas.” Dean says. Castiel moves his eyes to find Dean’s. “You told me you have been in this house for nine years. What happened before that?”

A shiver runs Castiel’s body. Those years before he arrived to the Harvelle’s house were the worst. Dean can see the fear in his eyes, but Castiel will go on with his story, he will tell Dean everything. “Before that, I spent seven years in another house.” He takes a deep breath. “I arrived at the Harvelle’s house when I was twenty-three years old. It’s been hard here, Jo has punished me a couple of times and I was really alone, until you arrived, but this is nothing compared of what I lived in the other house.”

Castiel fists his jeans and closes his eyes strongly. Dean touches in a gently way Castiel’s hand, so Cas opens his eyes and looks at his friend, who is really worried about him. “If you don’t want to tell me—”

“I want to, Dean.” He says swallowing. “But it’s difficult and it hurts.” All those things happened a long time ago, but Castiel remembers and feels all that pain he suffered perfectly. Dean tightens his hand and Castiel focuses on the warmth that Dean gives.

Castiel takes a deep breath and relaxes his fist. Dean releases his hand. Castiel misses the warmth but he can still feel the ghost of Dean’s hand. He swallows before he goes on. “I was taken to the slave market and in three days, someone bought me, a man who was fifty something years old. He didn’t tell me his name; he told me that I had to call him my Master.” He remembers the dark eyes of that man, the smirk on his face, the stubble with some white hair on it, like what happened in his reddish brown hair. He was a strong and tall man, a bit taller than Dean.

“I was really scared. I knew what people could do to slaves and the eyes of that man were filled with something really dark, something creepy, something awful, even if he hid it with his smile.” He makes a grimace filled with fear. “When I arrived at his home, he gave me a big bedroom with a bathroom, and he didn’t tell me much, just that I would have to be most of the time in that room, that I would only have to get out from the bedroom to eat or if they needed me for anything else.” He looks at Dean, who narrows his eyes, confused. Castiel sighs. “I even had books there, from a lot of things too, something strange, because I never saw anyone with a white collar letting a slave have any book.”

“All of that sounds really weird.” Dean says bewildered.

“I thought it was weird, but I didn’t complain. I wanted to run away, but with a black collar on your neck, it is almost impossible to escape, and if you escape, it is very sure that you will get killed.” He sighs. “The first week seemed to be better than I expected, I was a slave, I hated it, I couldn’t get out from my bedroom except for eating, the bedroom’s door was always locked, so it was really difficult to escape and the widow was locked too, but I had books and the Master didn’t hurt me or anything. It could have been worst, after all the things I saw and I knew, but—” He takes a deep breath. What a fool he was, he was just sixteen years and perhaps he was really smart, but he was too naïve. He wanted to believe that the Master’s house wasn’t as awful as he expected when he arrived; the first week went good, but after that one, everything changed.

Castiel closes his eyes. “But it wasn’t going to be like that.” He sighs. He opens his eyes slowly and a tear falls again. “One night, he came to my bedroom. He was smirking in a scary way. He approached me, I thought he was going to tell me something, but he used the stun gun and I passed out. When I woke up, I was in my bed, all naked, lying face down, with my wrists tied to a rope that was tied to the bed. At first I didn’t know what was going on, my head hurt and I felt dizzy, but when I turned my face, the Master was standing behind me, with his pants and his underwear down.”

He shivers when he remembers that. “I was a virgin, I never had sex with anyone, I never kissed anyone either.” He says shyly and looking at Dean, whose eyes are filled with terror because he can imagine what that it is going to end up like. “I was really scared; I didn’t want to do that. So I started to cry and to shake my whole body, begging him not to do that; I panicked, I should have showed some resistance, some strength, but they were gone; I was really scared. And that only got him angry. He tightened my hair, as if he wanted to tear it, and he told me: _you are a fucking slave, you are here because you must obey what I want to do, and I want to do you. You are just flesh and flesh doesn’t cry or beg._ ” He takes a desperate breath. He was always strong, but that night, when the Master told him and did him that, Castiel broke into million pieces, he never felt so weak, so exposed, so naked before.

“Before he raped me, he put a condom, before he said that a slave didn’t deserve to feel him completely and to have his sperm inside. Then, he grabbed me in a painful way, nailing me until I bled and he started to rape me.” He says breathy. Tears are falling down from his eyes. He is sobbing also, but not so much. He needs to go on with the story that has just begun. He needs to let out all the darkness. “It hurt me a lot, and I cried and I beg him to stop. All I felt was pain in my whole body and I didn’t want that. I was sixteen years old, but that night I felt like a frightened little kid.” He takes another breath. “When he came, I cried more and more and he picked one of the thickest books and he hit me with it in the back, and then he hit me in the face with it, making my nose bled.”

Dean doesn’t know what to say. He is horrified by all of that. So many things make sense now, like how Cas reacted the night they had a fight, why he didn’t know about his sexuality, why he looked so sad when it always came to his past, why he was so tired and devastated sometimes… Castiel has lived a hell.

“He came to my bedroom like three or four times every week to rape me.” He keeps telling. Every day, when he woke up he was scared because he didn’t know if when the night arrived, he would have to go through that hell again. “And I always cried and I screamed and he hurt me. He pulled my head back, even one night he ripped part of my hair. He sometimes used a razor in my back, cutting my skin, punishing me for crying and screaming. But I never learnt; the pain was too high and I was still scared. I didn’t know what to do, I was really scared. When he didn’t nail me until I bled, he used the razor, or he punched me, or he tried to suffocate me, or things that hurt me. He liked to do all those painful things while he raped me.” He takes a needy breath. He doesn’t know how he could hold that pain, he doesn’t know how he could live that nightmare for so long.

“It went like that for a couple months. I kept crying and screaming when he raped me, so after some months, he took me to the punishment room. He undressed me and tied me to a chair, which had a big hole. The first thing he did was to tell me that he would punish me until I stopped crying and screaming during sex. The second thing he did was to hit me with a rope that he used as a whip to hit me in my penis and in my testicles. I screamed more than ever.” He can still hear the sound of the rope hitting him, he can still feel how the rope hurt him in the most painful way. Dean feels the fear running his body. He can picture Cas in that chair, being tortured, screaming in the most horrible and painful way. It is really scary.

Castiel closes his eyes. His voice sounds broken. “He hit me several times that night like that. Then, he threw me at the floor, I was still tied to the chair and he started to kick me in the stomach until I spat blood. I spat him when he approached me and his response was to kick me in the jaw and I passed out.” That night, after all that pain, he acted like Dean, strong and reckless, he couldn’t keep crying and begging, he had to fight. He had to fight back, he couldn’t stand that anymore. He found the strengths he thought he lost. “When he came the next night to rape me, I didn’t cry, but I screamed and I shook my body, trying to get him out of me. But he was really strong and he knew where he had to apply me pain in order to make stop moving.” He opens his eyes, all red and covered with tears. “That made him furious and the next night he carried me to the punishment room. He did the same things and I spat him again and I insulted him. It went like that for almost two weeks. I was too tired, too broken, too weak, I didn’t know how I could still breathe. All my strengths were almost gone, but I couldn’t surrender to him, I would fight with my last breath if I had to.”

He takes a long breath and he looks down for some seconds before he keeps telling the story. “But one night, before raping me, he burned one of my sides with a hot iron bar.” Castiel raises his t-shirt, showing Dean the big scar in his right side, it goes from the beginning of Castiel’s belly to almost the end of Castiel’s pectoral. Dean opens widely his eyes, horrified. He never saw Cas shirtless, and seeing that scar of burnt skin makes Dean feel hurt. “When he did that I screamed a lot. He left the iron bar in my skin for a long time, I could smell how my skin was burning, that awful smell, feeling more and more pain until he pulled the hot iron bar away. The next thing he did was to tell me: _if you ever scream or cry or beg again, I will put this into your asshole, I will fuck you with this and I will burn you from the inside_.”

“Tell me he didn’t do that.” Dean says scared. Castiel can see that Dean is holding his tears.

“He was about to. I looked at him frightened. He was about to do it, but I didn’t fight or cry or do anything, so that showed him that I was going to obey him.” He explains sighing. “I knew that if I ever did something that he didn’t want me to do, he would do it. And I didn’t want that. I suffered a lot of pain, I couldn’t stand more. Burning my side was already too painful; imagining that hot iron bar inside me, burning me as if he was raping me with that was really scary. So I surrender to him. I didn’t have any other choice.” He shivers with that. He hated himself for that, for surrendering, but imagining the feeling of the hot iron bar raping him was too painful that he didn’t want to feel it ever; even if that meant to be raped a lot of nights.

“There were moments when I wanted to kill myself. I couldn’t run away, I didn’t have anywhere to go. All was pain. He raped me a lot of nights, always hurting me while he did it. And I couldn’t do anything. My strengths were gone. I couldn’t feel anything more than pain, emptiness and loneliness. It was like if I died but my body was still there. All the nights he raped me, I was like dead, my body was still, all I felt was pain. It wasn’t me when he was raping me, I was an empty body. I couldn’t cry, I couldn’t let out any sound from my mouth, but the pain was always there.” He sighed. He even felt that pain and that loneliness when he arrived at the Harvelle’s house, until Dean arrived.

“That was my life for almost six years. The Master raped me and all I had with me was pain. But that ended up when he found out he got cancer. Then, he stopped raping me, but he still hurt me with ropes, whips, knifes or with his own hands or feet. Two years later, he died, so I went back to the slave’s market and I was sold to the Harvelle family.” He sighs. “Those were the worst years of my life. All the pain I suffered was awful. I don’t know how I could carry on.” He adds with a normal voice.

Dean is shocked by Castiel’s story. It is full of horrors and awful things. Dean hugs Castiel tightly, something that surprises Castiel, and he starts crying. After some long moments, Cas embraces Dean and he fists the back of Dean’s t-shirt. It has been years since Castiel cried like this. And it is the first time that someone has hugged Castiel like that. So Cas sinks in Dean’s warmth, in Dean’s touch, letting out all that pain, feeling how Dean is holding him, as if nothing bad could happen to him while he is in Dean’s arms.

Dean has tears in his eyes too. He can’t explain how someone like Cas, so sweet, so nice, so intelligent, so strong, could have been through all of that. Dean doesn’t know what to tell Cas, so he just tightens his friend in his arms, as Castiel leans his face in Dean’s shoulder. So Dean runs his fingers through Castiel’s hair, something that calms Castiel.

Castiel wonders if this is what it feels to have someone who cares about you, if that’s the warmth that someone gives you when you most need it. He likes that warmth Dean is giving to him, not only physically, also emotionally. Right now, although he is crying more than in his whole life and feeling hurt after remembering the nightmare his life has been, Castiel has never felt safer and better. Dean’s arms are everything that no one has ever given to him in his whole life.

“I’m sorry for all the things I told you about not trying to fight.” Dean says breathy after a while. He still has Castiel in his arms. He doesn’t want to let him go. “I never imagined how—”

“Dean, you don’t have to apologize.” Castiel says in a broken sob. “You didn’t know. I didn’t know about your past either.” He takes a desperate breath. His lungs are craving for air. “This feels good.” He says in a whisper. “To be hugged.”

Dean is shocked about that. He was never hugged either. Holy shit, he has lived a nightmare and yet, Castiel is the greatest person he has ever known. “I will hug you all night long if you need it.” He says tightening Cas a little bit more.

Castiel closes his eyes. It has been a really sad and painful night, but right now, he can smell Dean’s scent, he is being held tightly by Dean’s strong and safe arms and Dean is with him. It feels really good. He couldn’t ask for more.


	11. Shopping List

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I always say it, but it is because I'm really grateful for it, so once again, thank you so much for reading, for the kudos, the bookmarks, the subscriptions and the comments. Thanks a lot.

It isn’t a normal morning like usually. Today, Dean and Castiel have to go to the town to buy some things Jo has ordered. The town it is a bit far, and Dean and Castiel have to go walking to there, it will take them less than half an hour to arrive, but still, it is a long distance.

This is new for Dean, he is getting out of the house; there aren’t any fences keeping him, he is in the outside world, and yet, he doesn’t have his freedom. But being able to walk out of the house with Cas, it is rewarding.

“It feels weird.” Dean says after they have walked for a couple of minutes.

“Being outside the house?” Castiel says. He is zipping up his dark red cotton jacket. It isn’t too cold, but Castiel feels warmer and better with the jacket zipped up.

Dean nods. “Okay, I know what I’m going to ask can be a stupid question, but, I’ll ask it anyways” He says confused. Cas turns his face to look at him with his curious sight. “We are outside the house, so, can we run away?” He makes a grimace. He knows the answer is no, but he needs Castiel to confirm.

“Don’t you think that if it was possible I would have run away years ago?” He arches a brow. He also smiles in a sarcastic way.

“Told you, it was a stupid question.” He ducks his head and makes an ashamed smile.

“It’s not stupid.” Cas says with his sweet voice. Dean turns his eyes to meet his. “You don’t know much about the Brown Lands. It is normal to ask those things.”

Dean sighs and puts his hands inside his jacket’s pockets. His hands are a bit cold. “I don’t understand why we are allowed to go shopping. I mean, doesn’t blondie think that we could run away?”

Castiel looks down and smiles. Sometimes he forgets that Dean hasn’t learnt anything from the Brown Lands while he was growing up. Castiel did, in school and high school, he was taught about all the rules related with slaves. “There are rules here in the Brown Lands.” Castiel starts to explain. “If you have a white collar, you can go anywhere you want, you can buy whatever you want and you can do whatever you want as long as you don’t steal, you don’t kill or rape another person with white collar.”

“So if you kill or rape or steal a person with a black collar, nothing happens.” Dean says disgusted. Since Castiel told him his story, two nights ago, his hate for the Brown Lands has grown even more.

Castiel nods and looks sad. “I have known that part too well.” He sighs. Dean approaches his side and he embraces Castiel’s back, placing his hand in Castiel’s shoulder. Dean squeezes his friend against his body in a friendly way.

“Hey.” Dean says with tenderness. Castiel turns his face to look at him. “Don’t think about it. I hate seeing you sad.”

Castiel can’t help a smile and a small blush. Dean stirs Castiel’s hair after pulling his arm away. They kept walking in a normal speed; they don’t want to walk too fast or too slow.

“Well,” Castiel goes on. “If you have a black collar, you can’t buy unless it is in a supermarket and you have a card of the person who owns you.” He shows the card that Jo gave Castiel. It is a plastic one, with a red seal next to the name of the members of the Harvelle’s family. There isn’t any photo, only the names, some random numbers and a weird sign. “You can’t buy anything else, like a white collar, or a car, or a house, or guns, or any kind of transport… Unless you have a paper from the person who owns you signed and telling that you have permission to buy anything that isn’t in a supermarket.” He explains. “With a white collar, you have everything, while you have money. Things here are quite cheap, but you need money and a white collar.”

“Fuck, that sucks.” He says with an annoyed face.

“And also, if you dare to run away, they can kill you. You can’t live if you don’t have the supermarket card and you can’t buy anything else. You can’t get away from this country because you are wearing a black collar.” He adds. He looks at Dean, who is looking devastated. All his hopes have gone. “Sorry for tearing your hopes away.” He says sadly.

Dean sighs. “I already knew that escaping was difficult, but not impossible.” He ducks his head. Castiel touches in a gentle way his shoulder and Dean makes a tiny smile.

“If you could escape, where would you go?” Castiel asks after pulling his hand away from Dean’s shoulder.

“Home.” He turns his face to see Castiel’s. “It is in Sioux Falls, in South Dakota, that’s where Bobby lives and where I live. That’s where my job, my life, my house and my baby, the Impala, are.” He still has all of that, but he isn’t sure if he will get back to any of that. Sometimes it seems that all of that never existed in his life, that it was all part of a dream and when he woke up, he was in the slave’s market, waking up from a life he dreamt to live in a nightmare.

“Do you think all of that it’s still there?” Castiel asks curious.

“Yeah, I guess Bobby is taking care of all of that. And I hope he doesn’t come here to find me. I don’t want him to die or become a slave.” He sighs. “Fuck, he must be really worried about me.” He knows Bobby considers Dean a son, and Bobby doesn’t know what the hell happened to Dean. Dean knows how bad Bobby must be feeling. He wishes he could tell him he’s still alive. “And what about you? Where would you go if you could escape?”

Castiel doesn’t have anywhere to go. He has a family that sold him and if he came back to his house, they would sell him again. He doesn’t want to stay in the Brown Lands either; he hates that country more than anything in this world. He thinks for some minutes until the answer strikes in his head. “I would like to go with you.”

Dean makes a surprised face. “Really?”

Castiel nods. “Anywhere you go. You are the only person in this world that accepts me. I would like to go with you to Sioux Falls, if you don’t mind.” He says timidly.

Dean’s smile is all filled with warmth. “I wouldn’t mind at all, Cas. I would like that you go with me.”

Castiel didn’t expect that. “You really mean it?” He knows they are never going to be able to escape, but Dean is telling him that he can go with him and Castiel can’t believe that.

“Of course I mean it!” He says half-closing his eyes. Doesn’t Cas believe him? Dean wants Cas near him. He doesn’t want Cas out of his life. “Why do you ask?”

Castiel blushes and bites his lower lip. “Because you are the first person who tells me something like that. Everyone has pushed me away except you and I—” He doesn’t finish the sentence, but Dean knows what Cas means. Cas has always been really alone, he has suffered a lot of things and Dean is the first person who really likes him, who enjoys being with him, who doesn’t hurt him and that’s new for Cas, and even a little scary in some aspects.

“Cas, you gotta know that you are my best friend.” Dean starts to say. Castiel’s eyes shine bright when he hears that. “I enjoy a lot being with you. You are fucking awesome and I don’t want you out of my life.”

The smile in Castiel’s face is big and bright. Fuck, Dean loves that smile, it’s all happiness and seeing Cas that happy warms Dean’s heart.

Castiel blushes, like always, but he doesn’t care. He is so happy by Dean’s words. He knows Dean meant all of that, his expressive eyes show it. “That was pretty nice Dean.” He says happily. “I don’t want you out of my life either. You are the best thing that ever happened to me.”

Wow. That was really unexpected for Dean. He is blushing a lot, more than he should, even his heart has skipped a couple of beats. Nobody has ever said something like that to Dean. And Castiel means it, that happy, honest and shy smile with those bright blue eyes confirm it. Dean looks away, trying to hide his embarrassment. It feels weird to hear that, something strange but warm is tickling his whole body.

Dean knows Castiel is looking at him confused. Castiel’s eyes are narrowed and his head is tilted. Dean should say something to stop that awkward silence. “Thanks for that, Cas.” Dean says breathy.

The strange and warm titillation inside Dean doesn’t stop, it is growing inside him. He never felt something like this feeling before. He never felt anything of what he feels with Cas before. Everything with Cas is new, nice and Dean feels better than in his whole life when they are together. Dean Winchester isn’t a feeling guy, he hates talking about feelings and thinking about them, but he can’t get them out of him when he is with Cas. He can’t deny he is starting to feel something for Cas, but he is confused by all of that, not because Cas is a guy or any other stupid reason anyone could say, it is because Dean has never felt something like that before, and he is nervous and bewildered and afraid of all of that. And there’s the main problem about Dean; all his relationships end up in a bad way because he always screws everything up. He doesn’t want to screw Cas up because Dean is all crap.

Dean shakes his head. Why is he thinking about all of that? Cas doesn’t want him; he should stop thinking about Cas in that way. They are best friends and that’s pretty awesome. If something arises it would be awesome. Although as Cas said, homosexuality in the Brown Lands is considered as something really bad and people can kill you. Emotional and sexual relationships between slaves are forbidden, and also there’s Castiel’s past; after being raped for almost every night for years, Dean isn’t sure if Cas will ever feel something for anyone. Why is everything in that freaking country so complicated?

Dean should cut down those thoughts and feelings, even if he still denies calling them that, not because of him, because he doesn’t want to fuck things up with Cas or hurt him. That’s the last thing Dean wants.

Before Dean realizes, they are arriving the small town. He was thinking for too long. When they arrive to the town, Dean starts to look carefully at everything; it isn’t very different from any small town in USA. There are people walking, white and black collars, there are houses, a bar, a gas station, a motel and several things you can find in any small town.

Castiel catches Dean watching every single detail. “You didn’t expect something like this?” Castiel asks.

Dean turns his face to see him. “I was in some towns while I searched the reason of Sam’s murder.” He starts to say. “They looked like this.” He looks again around him, watching every single building. “Y’know, I haven’t seen a hospital yet.” He murmurs perplexed.

“Hospitals and ambulatories are only in big cities. Maybe there’s a small ambulatory in a big town, but usually, there aren’t.” Castiel explains. They are almost in the supermarket.

“And what happens if you get sick or you have an accident?”

“You call a doctor and he will arrive in his car, or if it is something really grave, they bring an ambulance.”

“Every day I understand less this country.”

Castiel huffs a laugh. “I have been here for more than thirty years and I still don’t understand anything.”

They get into the supermarket. Dean is surprised by the size of it. It is huge. And also, the most shocking thing is that every single person buying, has a black collar. But the reason is obvious, why coming to the supermarket by yourself when you have slaves to do it for you?

Castiel picks a shopping cart and stands next to Dean. “Do you have the shopping list?” He says looking at Dean.

Dean searches in his pockets and unfolds the list. “Yeah.” Dean shows Castiel the list. Most of the items are food. “I guess you know this place better than me, so…”

Castiel smiles in his sarcastic way. They start to walk with the shopping cart through the halls, searching for the fruit. Dean can’t stop looking at the supermarket. It is a normal and common supermarket, all of them look the same in the whole world, but the Brown Lands are a special country and Dean can’t help thinking that there has to be something weird in that place.

“Dean, what are you looking at?” Castiel asks intrigued.

“It’s—” Dean starts to say. He shouldn’t look so much at the supermarket, it is just a supermarket, he isn’t going to find something out of this world. “Never mind.” He finishes with a sigh.

“No, tell me.” There’s that sweet and worried look in Castiel’s face.

“You are going to find it stupid.” He says ashamed. That’s something that doesn’t happen to Dean usually. He is never ashamed to say stupid things, but when he is with Cas, when he is about to say something stupid, he feels a bit shy.

“Maybe I don’t.” His blue eyes are expectant, there’s curiosity also.

Dean sighs and looks down at the fruit. “I can’t stop thinking that this supermarket can have something that shouldn’t have. The Brown Lands are weird, so maybe supermarkets are weird too.” He knows all of that sounded stupid. He turns his face to see Cas, who is pressing his lips in a thin line to hold his smile. “I told you it was stupid.” There’s a small blush appearing in his cheeks.

“It’s not stupid.” The smile finally appears.

Dean arches one eyebrow. “Yeah, that’s why you are smiling in that rogue way, huh?”

“I’m not smiling because it’s stupid.” Now he is the one who starts to blush. Dean will never get tired of making Cas blush. He is so easy to blush when he is with Dean. “I’m smiling because it is a funny thought.” His smile isn’t rogue anymore, now it is an honest and happy one. Dean smiles in a surprised way. Castiel starts to pick some red apples with a plastic globe, looking at the fruit, avoiding the eye contact. He never had trouble with eye contact, but sometimes, he can’t make a proper eye contact with Dean because he feels nervous and he doesn’t want to blush more than usually. “I really like the way you think.”

“You must be the first person who says that to me.” Dean says raising his eyebrows. He is now picking some pears.

Castiel turns his face. He is frowning. “Do people think you are stupid or something?” He says confused.

Dean nods. “I’m not really intelligent.”

“You are intelligent Dean.” He says strongly. Dean turns his eyes to meet Castiel’s. He is sometimes surprised about how Cas sounds so powerful and so convinced when he says things like that to Dean.

“Shut up, I’m not.” He says annoyed. He knows Cas is telling him that to be nice. Dean is a dropout, he is stupid, and he knows that.

“You can’t believe that.” Cas is next to Dean. He has approached Dean. He is really close to Dean; there are only a few inches in between. Dean can see Cas is really pissed off. “You are intelligent.”

Dean rolls his eyes. “That’s bullshit.” He turns to weigh the pears, but Castiel grabs his wrist and he stops him.

“It’s not.” He doesn’t understand how Dean can think he isn’t intelligent. “Maybe you aren’t the smartest person in the world, but you are pretty intelligent, Dean. I have intellectual talks with you.”

“Intellectual talks? Me? I think you are talking about someone else.” He makes a sarcastic laugh, something that angers Cas a bit.

“Stop that!” He says disturbed. Dean opens his eyes widely because Cas said that louder than he should. The surprising thing is that nobody turned their faces to them to see what was going on. Castiel releases his hand from Dean’s wrist. “Of course I’m talking about you.” He says in a lower voice, almost as a murmur. His eyes are filled with conviction. “All those talks we have about books, music, movies, our lives, the things we like… Dean, I have known people really intelligent, and no one of them talked the way you do. Yes, you abandoned high school, but you know a lot of things, from things you learn in books to things you learn in the real world. I really like talking to you, I appreciate our talks, our time together.”

Dean swallows. That was unexpected and awesome. He isn’t going to deny that. “But you say that because we are friends.”

Castiel puffs and blows. “You are really stubborn.” He glares Dean. “You are intelligent, Dean.”

“Yeah, whatever, Cas.” He says going to the machine that weighs the fruit and prints a layer with a barcode.

Cas sighs exhausted and approaches the machine too. “Why do you have such a low esteem?”

“Can we leave this topic?” He isn’t in the mood to talk about any of that. He is Dean Winchester, ninety percent crap, although Castiel can’t see it. Dean turns his eyes to meet Castiel’s; they are confused.

“I hate knowing that you hate yourself so much.” Castiel sighs in a tired way. “You are great, Dean.”

Dean wishes Castiel could stop that right now. No, he isn’t great, he isn’t intelligent, he isn’t any of those things Castiel thinks. Dean is broken. There’s nothing special on Dean, but Castiel always makes him feel special. Every single moment he is with Cas, Dean feels worth and special, and Dean doesn’t know why.

Dean remains in silence and then, he moves away from the weigh machine and he starts to pick some oranges while Castiel looks at him. Castiel doesn’t understand why Dean thinks like that. There is greatness in Dean, Castiel can see it. There’s something different with Dean, something awesome, as Dean would say, but Dean can’t see it, or he refuses to see it. That’s one of the few things Castiel can’t understand about Dean, the way he thinks and feels about himself. And also, he doesn’t understand why Dean seems so uncomfortable and even annoyed when Castiel remarks how extraordinary he finds Dean.

Castiel sighs and starts to pick up tomatoes. “Sorry for making you uncomfortable and angry with that.” He apologizes.

Dean takes a deep breath. “Cas, it’s—” Fuck, why does he have to suck at talking? He takes another deep breath while Cas looks at him bewildered. “You overrate me.” He frowns.

“I don’t.”

“Cas, don’t—”

“Dean, stop that.” He says annoyed. “If you want to hate yourself, despite I don’t think you should, it’s fine. But you aren’t going to change my mind. You have showed me the reasons to believe that you are a great, intelligent and an incredible person. If you refuse to see it, it’s your problem.” His tune was powerful and honest.

Dean can’t help a smile. “I really like when you get that imposing.” He isn’t going to deny those words touched him, but he is going to hide how heartwarming and worth he is feeling at the moment, like he always does when someone says all those things Cas said.

The blush in Castiel’s cheeks grows faster than ever. “I hate when you make me blush.” He says in a childish way and looking down.

“You don’t hate me.” He says with a soft smile. Castiel looks at him as he bites his lower lip. “Thanks for the words, Cas.” He says timidly.

Castiel smiles. He knows that Dean made him blush to stop the conversation, but at least, Cas made Dean blush and Dean thanked him the words. It’s a good progress. Maybe someday, Dean will be able to see how truly great he is.

They keep walking through the supermarket after they have picked all the fruit and the vegetables. They are in the meat’s aisle. “How is it that we have never been shopping before?” Dean wonders as he sees Cas picking some packaged meat.

“Jo always picks different people to go to the supermarket. That way, the slave’s usually work, is only interrupted once in a while. She likes to send everyone to the supermarket, so one day she picks a couple, another day she picks another…” Castiel explains.

“And why does she always make me do things with you?” He says confused. 

Castiel looks at him with a frown. “Don’t you like doing things with me?”

Doing things sounds like something sexy. Dean blames his pervert mind for that. “Of course I like it.” Dean has to thank that Cas doesn’t find the double meaning of things most of the times. “I’m glad that when she wants me to do any task with another person is always with you. Fuck, I’m freaking happy for that.”

Castiel feels great about those words. Dean enjoys his company, he already knew that, but hearing it coming from Dean’s words makes him feel better and happier. “Then, what’s the matter?” He asks as he puts the meat packages inside the shopping cart.

“She knows that we get on very well and she is a bitch, why does she want us to be working together? Isn’t happiness and having a good time forbidden for us or something?”

Castiel lets out a short laugh. “Knowing her, yes, it should be forbidden.” He smiles and raises his eyebrows. Dean starts to push the cart slowly, going to the place where chicken is. “But she isn’t stupid, Dean. If she sees two slaves get on well and they work together, it is probably that they will end up the task better and faster.” He starts to explain. Dean makes an assenting grimace. “For example, if you or I had to make a task with Alastair or Azazel, it wouldn’t end up good.”

“I thought about that.” He picks some chicken wings and throws the package into the cart. “But after knowing how nice she is,” he says with sarcasm, “I expected her to fuck us up.”

“Happy slave, good work, I guess.” He shrugs.

“Are you happy?” They are walking towards the fish’s aisle.

“Well, being a slave isn’t happy at all, but—” He takes a deep breath and looks at Dean. He isn’t sure if he should tell Dean what he wants to tell him. He swallows. “Since you arrived and we became friends, I feel happy every time we are together.”

Dean opens his eyes widely and blushes. Definitely, Castiel knows he shouldn’t have said that. Dean is feeling awkward. He doesn’t want to spoil things between he and Dean, but those thoughts disappear when Dean says, “I feel the same like you.”

Now is Castiel the one who blushes and opens his eyes widely. He will never get used to hear Dean saying that he likes being with him, that he is happy with him. Castiel has spent all his life with people that told him that there was something wrong with him, seeing how everyone avoided him and hated him. He even believed that there was something really wrong going on with him, but Dean keeps telling him all those good things Castiel was never told before and he feels too good, as if Dean wasn’t real, because Dean likes him and cares about him, and Castiel can’t still believe that.

Dean clears his throat. The silence is starting to be awkward. “Where’s the milk?”

“This way.” Castiel says feeling a bit awkward too.

They keep picking the items from the shopping list, milk, cereals, bread, butter, yoghurts, cheese, coffee, juice, toilet paper, toothpaste and some few things more. It is going to be hilarious -being sarcastic— to carry all the shopping back to the house. That’s why Jo usually orders two people to go shopping, because of the amount of things they have to carry.

There’s only one thing left, some croissants, and they will be done and ready to pay and carry all of that back home. Dean picks the croissants and his sight goes directly to a pie next to the croissants.

Pie. It has been months since he ate for the last time a slice of pie. It was an apple pie. Why can’t they have pie? He wants pie so bad. It is stupid how many small things were taken from him when he started to wear the black collar.

“What’s wrong, Dean?” Castiel asks worried. He approaches Dean.

Dean sighs. “I love pie.”

Castiel makes a sad face. He knows what Dean means. When you become a slave, there are several things you stop eating because they aren’t served. Most of them are sweets, pastries, junk food, steaks and things like that. “You know we can’t buy it. Jo didn’t order it, and she knows how much money she gave us. If she sees we bought something she didn’t ask for or we try to hide it, you know what would happen.”

Dean takes a deep breath. “I know Cas.”

“I would buy it for you if I could.” He sighs devastated.

Dean turns his face and makes a shy smile. “Thanks, Cas.” He stirs Castiel’s hair.

“Let’s pay this.” He says pulling Dean away slowly so they can go to the till.

While they wait in the queue, Dean observes that the cashiers are wearing white collars. All of the cashiers have white collars while the clients are all wearing black collars.

“You are surprised that the cashiers are wearing white collars, right?” Castiel says. He caught Dean looking at the cashiers.

Dean nods and he looks at Castiel perplexed. “How do you know?”

“You were looking at their collars.” He answers with a tiny smirk. “Everyone with a white collar has to make money one way or another.”

“I know, but I expected businessman using slaves to save the money of the employee’s salary so they will be richer.”

“Some of them do that, but only in big cities.” Castiel starts to explain. The queue moves on, so they advance. “In towns like this one, people with white collars aren’t too rich and there isn’t a lot of work, so they have to work in anything they can. There are rich families, but just a few. Besides, salaries are quite high and as you saw, prices aren’t too high, so you don’t need to be really rich to have a good life.”

Dean nods. He realized about the low prices. Everything costs almost the half of what costs in United States. It has to be because of the slavery; it you have people working for free, the amount of money that you save from their salaries it is a fortune, so you don’t have to sell your products too expensive, thus you win a lot of customers and everything sells easily because people can afford it.

After some minutes, their turn arrives, so they put all the items on the tape runner and the cashier starts to scan the barcodes from all the items. Dean starts to put all the things in plastic bags; damn it, he and Cas are going to have to carry with a lot of plastic, and some of them heavy, bags.

Castiel shows the plastic card with the names of the Harvelle’s family before he pays. Then, the cashier gives him a ticket that Castiel saves in one of his pockets carefully. He will have to show it later to Jo. Then, Castiel picks some plastic bags and he and Dean start to walk towards the house. It is going to be a long walk.

After a few minutes walking, their fingers are starting to have the plastic bags’ mark on them. Their skin is turning slowly into red and it is starting to hurt a little bit.

“Guess that blondie couldn’t give us a cart to carry all of this, huh?” Dean says sarcastically.

“She could. But she doesn’t want to.” Castiel says with an acid smile.

Dean sighs and looks around. The landscape is really beautiful. All the trees and plants look awesome. The road is surrounded by leafy trees, bushes and plants, all painted by the colors from the autumn that is about to arrive.

“There are only two good things I like about this country.” Dean starts to say.

Castiel looks at him with a confused look. “Is there something good in this country?” The amount of sassiness in the sentence is quite high and Dean likes that.

Dean smiles. “Yeah. It’s hard to believe, but yeah.” He laughs. “This country has awesome woods. Your vegetation is freaking beautiful.” He says amused as he looks at all the trees and plants.

“I agree. There’s too much beastliness in the forests.” He has always loved the forest from the Brown Lands, the colors and the smells from the woods, how big and magical they are.

“Too bad it belongs to an awful place.” Dean sighs.

Castiel takes a deep breath. “What’s the other good thing you like?” He asks curious.

“You.” Dean says with a tender look, he knows he sound like if he was flirting with Cas, but he doesn’t care. Castiel’s heart skips a beat. He opens his mouth, also his eyes are opened widely. “Well, you aren’t a thing, but you understand what I mean.”

“You were complaining in the supermarket that I overrated you, now I think you are the one who is overrating me.” He says hasty and feeling a bit embarrassed.

Dean laughs. “C’mon, you have to admit that you are the only person from this country that isn’t a dick, that you are a freaking wonderful person.”

Castiel doesn’t think his face can turn redder. “This is your revenge from the supermarket?”

“Just a bit, I’m not gonna lie.” He smirks. “But I really think that, Cas.”

Castiel sees Dean’s face and he knows that Dean means that. “Thank you Dean.” He smiles in a shy way. “It is nice to hear that.”  
Dean loves seeing Cas like that, all blushed, with a happy but at the same time shy smile. He is too cute sometimes. There comes those thoughts again, but he can’t help them, Castiel is awesome, intelligent and handsome, he is freaking perfect and Dean likes him too much.

“How can you blush so easily with me?” Dean wonders.

Castiel looks at him, with his honest smile drawn on his lips. “I don’t know.” Castiel answers. He doesn’t really know. He never blushed when he was a kid or a teenager, nobody made him blush. “I guess it could be because you tell me things that nobody has ever told me.” He explains as he shrugs. “Nobody has ever treated me like you, Dean.”

Dean knows that. After hearing Castiel’s story, he started to understand why Cas blushed so easily most of the times Dean said a compliment and why Cas sometimes was too awkward. He isn’t used to all those things, he is used to be treated in a bad an awful way.

“They are dicks then.” Dean says a bit angry. Cas is great; he doesn’t understand how could all the people in Castiel’s life be assholes with him. Dean sighs. They have just been walking for less than ten minutes. “When we came to the supermarket I didn’t realize how long the way was.”

“It seems longer when you have to carry all of this.” Cas says tiredly.

Dean looks at Cas and a small silence, only broken by the sound of their steps and the sound the leaves make when the wind caresses them, is made. Dean wants to run away with Cas, to leave all of that behind, but as Castiel explained him before, running away when you have a black collar, it is a suicide mission. Dean sighs. He will never get used to this life.

After a few minutes of silence, Dean stares again at Cas. He wants to ask him something he is being wondering since Cas told him his story.

“Can I ask you a personal question, Cas?” Dean asks a bit nervous.

“Yes, you can.” Castiel says casually.

“If you don’t want to answer it, it’s fine, I won’t get mad or—”

“Dean,” Castiel interrupts. His blue eyes are fixed on Dean’s green ones. “I told you my story; you are the only one I have ever talked about my life ever. After telling it to you, you can ask me anything you want.” There’s trust and honesty in Castiel’s words.

Dean nods. He feels happy to know that Cas trusts him. “You told me that when that bastard raped you,” he starts to say. He feels furious with just imagining the Master doing all of that to Cas. “You never kissed anyone or had sex before, right?”

“Right.” He answers as he nods.

“It keeps being like that?”

“Of course.” He says casually. He sees that Dean is confused by that. “Dean, I have been a slave for sixteen years, everyone hated me, I didn’t talk to anyone except the people that owned me, the Master only raped me and hurt me, I didn’t have any chance to do any of that.” He explains quickly.

“I don’t know, maybe there could have been something.” Dean shrugs.

“No, Dean. I told you emotional and sexual relationships between slaves are forbidden.” He explains a bit frustrated. He hasn’t felt anything, emotional or sexual, for anyone. He isn’t sure what it feels like to be in love or to have a sexual desire for anyone. “Also, I have never found someone who I wanted to have a relationship with.” He adds in a casual way. He was always the one everyone avoided, the one everyone didn’t want, so Castiel accepted the fact that he was going to be alone the rest of his life. It wasn’t something he minded at all. His emotions and his sexuality was something that he seemed not to have, and he was always okay with that.

“Will you ever want to have a relationship, a kiss or sex?” Dean wonders with a frown. His friend has missed a lot of good things in life.

Castiel shrugs. “I don’t know. Do you ever think you or me will ever get out of here to have any of that?”

“Don’t try to think if we will ever get away or not. I’m asking you that if there was a chance where you could have a relationship, to be kissed, or to have sex, would you want it?”

Castiel thinks for a moment, with his lips squeezed, making a strange grimace. “What does a relationship involve?”

Fuck, Dean sucks with relationships, his longer relationship that involved feelings, only lasted three months. “I’m not sure how to explain you that.” He says a bit uncomfortable.

“Have you ever been in an emotional relationship?” Castiel asks intrigued.

Seriously? From all the things Castiel could ask he chooses the most complicated. But what can Dean expect? Castiel doesn’t have any idea from all of that, so… “More or less.” He starts to explain. “It only lasted two months.”

“Why?” He sounds sad.

“I’m not a guy of long relationships. I always end up fucking things up.” He looks down. He knows that will happen if Dean and Cas start being something beyond friends. Dean will fuck things up, he will hurt Cas and their friendship will be over for both of them.

“Sounds complicated.” He murmurs confused. He tilts his head in that way that Dean adores.

“They are. Can we change the subject?” He says needy.

Castiel half-closes his eyes, showing his confusion. “Do you feel uncomfortable when it comes to talk about relationships?”

Dean rolls his eyes. “Yes Cas, I feel uncomfortable. And don’t ask why.”

“Okay.” He says bewildered. There’s a small silence. “Are kisses a good thing?”

Dean turns his face to meet Castiel’s eyes. Dean opens his eyes widely, surprised by the question. “Yeah, kisses are really good.” He smirks. “It feels really good.” Dean imagines Castiel kissing him. Fuck, Dean should stop thinking about kissing him. Castiel sighs and looks down. Dean comes back to earth; luckily he didn’t blush while he was thinking about kissing Cas. He looks at Castiel in a worried way. “What’s wrong, Cas?”

Castiel bites his lower lip “And sexual intercourse can feel good?” He asks with a broken and low voice.

“Dude, don’t call it like that. Call it sex or fucking. Sexual intercourse sounds too scientific.” Dean says with a disgusted grimace. Castiel looks at him with confusing eyes, but there is a tiny smile that wants to appear on his lips. “Sex can be awesome, really. But when it is consented. The sex you experienced, it’s not the right one, Cas.”

“I know, it’s just that—” He takes a deep breath. “I find it hard to imagine sex without pain.”

“Yeah, I know.” Dean looks down. He knows that Cas was raped for years and thinking about sex without pain, without being hurt, it is very difficult for him. “If you knew you weren’t going to be hurt or feel any pain at all during sex, would you have it?” Dean should stop talking about that; it isn’t a nice topic to talk about.

Castiel shrugs. “I don’t know.” He sounds casually. “I don’t even think I will ever be sexually attracted to anyone.” He looks at Dean.

Dean nods. That was the last confirmation he needed. Cas won’t like anyone ever. Dean doesn’t want Cas sexually, there is something more, and for Dean that’s new and scary, of course he would love to feel and touch Cas, but it’s not like what happened with all Dean’s flirts, he always wanted sex above all, but not with Cas. Dean is too confused with all of that, he must stop all those thoughts and feelings because he doesn’t want them confusing him or hurting Cas. But he wants to make Cas feel cared, to be happy. If Dean could, he would embrace Cas and protect him from all the bad things and… No, he has to stop thinking about that. That sounded too cheesy.

“Can I ask you a personal question too, Dean?” Castiel asks.

“Sure. After what I asked, you have the right to.” Dean says casually. He hides everything in the back of his mind, locking everything to avoid all those thoughts and feelings coming out.

“I’m curious, have you ever had sex with a man?” He asks.

That was unexpected. Dean opens his eyes widely, surprised by Castiel’s question. He isn’t embarrassed about the question; he is only surprised. “I didn’t have sex in the sense of the word.” Dean starts to explain, making Cas even more confused as he talks. “Some handjobs and blowjobs.”

“What are those?” Castiel asks confused, tilting his head and half-closing his eyes.

“Wait, you—?” Dean starts to say shocked. “Are you serious? You don’t know what a handjob and a blowjob is?” His friend must be kidding him. Cas has never been kissed, he has never had sex with anyone, but once you are a teenager, you start to get interested in sex, even if you have it or not, and you start to know things that your parents don’t explain you.

Castiel shakes his head. “No. I don’t know them.”

He is totally being serious. Dean doesn’t know what to say, he opens his mouth, but not a word or a sound comes out of his mouth. This is too surreal. Dean blinks in a perplexed way.

“Dean, stop looking at me like that.” Castiel says annoyed. “Explain me what handjobs and blowjobs are.”

This is going to be the weirdest and the most uncomfortable talk in Dean’s life. He had to explain Sam some things about sex when he started to be a teenager, and Sam found it really awkward, because Dean was too literal at explaining things, but Dean didn’t find it awkward at all, because he was his big bother and he had to teach him those kind of things, but Cas is a grown up adult, a virgin, he was raped but he never had sex, and Dean is going to have to explain him all of that. What a great topic to avoid thinking about kissing Cas and all the things Dean is feeling. Awesome…

“Well—” Dean starts to say with awkwardness. He has never felt awkward talking about sex, but this is freaking awkward. He swallows. “How can I explain you with words what a handjob is?” He makes a thoughtful grimace. Cas isn’t helping with that expectant look on his face. Cas can blush for the smallest things, but when it comes to sex, he is like the topic was the less awkward thing in the world. Castiel is freaking weird. “Okay, uh, do you know what jerking off is, right?”

Castiel makes a confused look. He shakes his head. Dean is starting to think that Cas is pulling his leg or something.

“Wanking?” Dean asks. Castiel shakes his head again, denying. “Please, tell me that at least you know about masturbation.” He says desperate.

“Yes, I know what masturbation is.”

Dean takes a breath of success. “Good.” He says relieved. “Well, jerking off and wanking are the same, they are synonyms.” He explains.

“Oh, I didn’t know.” He says surprised.

Dean closes his eyes for a moment. This is too awkward. “I’m going to ask.” He says. He is going to regret this. “Do you know how to masturbate?”

“I know the technics, but I have never masturbated.” He answers.

Dean knows that his mouth doesn’t open wider because it can’t. “You are kidding me, right?” He sounds shocked. He is shocked. How can Cas never masturbate? Dean can understand he never masturbated after being raped, but before? Dean is bewildered by it.

“Why would I be kidding you?” Castiel asks in an innocent way.

Dean shakes his head, trying to understand Cas’ confession. “It’s weird, Cas.” He explains. “I— I don’t even know what to say.”

“You sound as if it was wrong.” Castiel says confused. Sexuality was never something that came up to Castiel. He never needed to touch himself or have sex.

“It’s not wrong, Cas.” He says with a sweet voice. He doesn’t want Cas to misunderstood things. “I’m surprised by that. While I was at high school I jerked off a lot.” There’s interest in Castiel’s eyes and Dean blushes. He doesn’t know what Castiel is thinking after hearing that. He can expect anything from Cas. Dean definitely shouldn’t have mentioned that part of his past. “Okay, well—” Dean clears his throat. “You know how to jerk off although you never did it.

“Yes.” He nods.

“Well, a handjob is doing the same thing you do when you are jerking off yourself, but you do it to another dude.” He explains. That was easier than he expected.

Castiel moves the plastic’s bag handles from his hand to his wrist. “So you make this to another man’s penis?” He asks as he shakes his hand, as if he was doing a handjob to an imaginary person.

Dean blushes a lot. Why does he have to start doing that? Definitely, this is being the most awkward moment in Dean’s life. “Yes, Cas, like that.” Dean says nervous. “Stop it, please.” He closes his eyes and he makes a nervous grimace. He knows he is going to think in that hand doing something that he shouldn’t think about.

Castiel stops shaking his hand. “And a blowjob?” He asks.

Castiel looks so naturally asking about all those things while Dean is blushing. It seems like now Castiel is the expert on making Dean blush. Dean swallows. “You suck a man’s cock.” He explains trying to sound casual. He hopes that Castiel doesn’t kneel and starts moving his mouth as if he was sucking an imaginary man’s dick.

Castiel makes a nod and a thoughtful grimace. “Thanks for the explanations.” He thanks with an honest voice. “Did this make you uncomfortable?” He wonders confused. Dean is never ashamed of anything, but while he was talking about what handjobs and blowjobs were, he was blushed more than Castiel ever saw before.

“Yeah, a bit. I don’t know how you didn’t.” Dean says trying to think about anything that gets his blush away, and also the arousal he was starting to feel when for a moment, he imagined Castiel’s hands touching his crotch gently. He has feelings for Cas and now he is more sexually attracted to him.

Castiel shrugs, casually. “It might be because I never had the chance to do any of that.” He looks at Dean, whose blush is starting to fade away. “Sorry for making you uncomfortable.”

“It’s okay, Cas.” He sighs. It isn’t Cas fault. Dean has those things going on and he can’t help feeling awkward and getting blushed when Castiel asks those kind of questions. “Sooner or later you would have to know all that stuff.” He is starting to feel more relaxed as the heat on his cheeks disappears little by little.

“I guess.” He looks to the road. The house can be seen, although it is a small dot in the distance.

There’s a silence after that. Castiel is still thinking about Dean’s explanations. He isn’t sure if he will ever like to have sex, those memories of what happened when he was the Master’s slave, are stuck with him. It isn’t easy to forget, there are psychological scars inside Castiel for all of that.

But Castiel knows that he wouldn’t mind being kissed. He looks at Dean. He would like to be kissed by Dean. He must be very gentle with kisses. Dean has perfect lips, they are tender, pretty and nice. Castiel would like to taste them. Suddenly, Castiel opens his eyes widely. He is thinking about kissing Dean. He has never felt the need to kiss anyone, why is he thinking about kissing Dean right now? He knows he is getting blushed, so he looks down, trying to hide his embarrassment from Dean.

But he can’t get away from his mind the thought of kissing Dean. Once he has started thinking about it, he wants to know what it feels like. Maybe he could ask Dean to kiss him, so he will know what a kiss feels like. He can’t ask him that, Dean will find it inappropriate, he felt really uncomfortable about talking about relationships and things related to sex, and now Cas wants to ask him to kiss him so he could know how kisses feel like. No, Cas can’t ask him that. He knows that Dean wouldn’t like that and Castiel would make Dean feel awkward and maybe Dean will be angry with him and he doesn’t want that.

Castiel is confused, is this normal? Wanting to kiss your best friend? To know what it feels like the touch of your lips with his? His heart is starting to beat faster than usually. He looks at Dean, and Dean catches his sight. Castiel is all blushed and he knows his face must be showing how confused, shocked and nervous he is.

Dean laughs. “Are you starting to feel awkward about the conversation we had?” There’s joy and happiness in his voice. Castiel nods and looks down. It isn’t exactly what it’s happening, but it has to do with that. “I feel relieved that you are starting to feel awkward.” He smirks.

“Why?” Castiel asks confused.

“Because I thought I was overreacting.” He answers with his pretty smirk. Dean is relieved to know that Cas is starting to feel awkward. He must have been thinking about everything Dean explained and he started to feel awkward.

“Are you enjoying this?” Castiel says a bit pissed off.

“You know I always enjoy seeing you blushed.” He confesses with a beautiful smile.

Castiel smiles shyly. “You are an assbutt.” He jokes.

Dean’s laughter is louder. Castiel really loves that laughter; it brightens everything. “Yeah, I might be.” He makes a sweet sight to Cas, who smiles sweetly. “C’mon, the house is almost here.” He says enthusiastically.

Castiel will never get tired of being with Dean, and Dean will never get tired of being with Cas either. They can feel things or think about things they shouldn’t be thinking, like kissing for example, but they don’t want each other out of their lives. They need each other almost as much as breathing, maybe even more, although sometimes they don’t realize how much they need each other.


	12. Rain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, for the kudos, for the subscription, for the bookmarks and for the comments, you make my day :)

The sound of the alarm clock is like a hand that grabs Castiel and Dean tight and pulls them away from their dreams. Like always, Castiel opens his eyes and turns off the alarm clock while Dean grunts and says some curses to his pillow. Castiel always smiles at that. Dean likes being in bed, and knowing that every single morning he has to wake up early, it is something that Dean hates. Castiel would like to spend the whole morning in bed as well, but he is too used to waking up early that getting out of bed early, it isn’t hard at all for him.

He gets up from the bed and he stretches himself, like every single morning, as Dean keeps lingering on bed, refusing to accept that he has to abandon the comfort and the warmth of his bed. He buries his face in the pillow, trying to ignore that it is time to wake up.

Castiel smiles. “Dean, every morning you do the same.” He starts to say approaching Dean’s bed. He shakes Dean’s body. “Time to get up.”

“You have to take your shower.” Dean mumbles against the pillow. “I can linger in bed for some more minutes.” He holds tightly the pillow as he snuggles his face in it.

Castiel rolls his eyes as he smiles. “If you linger more in bed, you will fall asleep again.” He warns. Dean makes a grunt and Castiel smiles. He turns his face to the high window and he stands on his tiptoes. “It is raining.” He announces.

Dean lifts his head slowly. He has his morning face; messy hair, a frown and his eyes are narrowed; he is still trying to wake up. “Really?”

Castiel nods. It is raining heavily. He can hear the sound of the raindrops hitting against everything that it is outside. Dean gets up from the bed and approaches Castiel. He also stands on his tiptoes, the window is too high for both of them.

“Blondie won’t make you work in the garden while it’s raining, right?” Dean asks worried. It is raining heavily and if Castiel stays under the rain, he will get sick.

Castiel shakes his head. “She doesn’t want any slave to get sick; that would mean calling a doctor and a slave not making the work properly.” He says with his derogatory sassiness. Dean makes a sarcastic smirk. “And also, she doesn’t want anyone to enter the house all wet and drenching everything.” He raises both of his eyebrows and he looks at Dean.

“Of course, there’s nothing more important that doing the work properly and having the house perfect.” He says sarcastically. Castiel puffs a laugh. “It is raining a lot.”

“Welcome to the Brown Lands.” He says in a sassy way. Dean punches him softly and Castiel laughs. “I’m going to take the shower.” He turns over and goes to the wardrobe to pick clean clothes and then, he goes into the bathroom to take a piss and to take a shower.

After Castiel is done in the bathroom, it is Dean’s turn. When Dean finishes, both of them go to the kitchen to have breakfast. As they walk towards the kitchen, Castiel sees the calendar that hangs in one of the halls. Today is 18th of September. Today is Castiel’s birthday. Another year has passed, another year he has spent being a slave. Usually birthdays are something to be celebrated, but not for Castiel, not for anyone who is a slave actually, but Castiel’s birthdays were never something happy, his family stopped celebrating his birthdays when he was ten, because he didn’t deserve a happy birthday for thinking slavery was wrong. Since then, his birthdays started to be another insignificant day of the year.

Dean and Castiel arrive at the kitchen, they start to have breakfast, like all their mornings. Dean is still a bit asleep; last night they stayed awake for later than they should because they were too rapt reading. Castiel tries to forget what day is today, he can’t expect anything special from today. He stopped believing in happy birthdays when he was ten, but deep down, he is still a dreamer boy who wants to have a happy birthday, even if it is impossible.

Some minutes after they have started to have breakfast, Jo arrives and tells Castiel that today he is going to work with Dean in the garage, doing whatever Dean tells him or just cleaning, she doesn’t care while Castiel works and doesn’t get wet by the rain.

“Hey, today we work together.” Dean says with a happy smile and with his mouth filled with a toast.

Castiel is happy about that too. Working with Dean, well, being with Dean, it is always great. “I’m happy about it.” He admits with his sweet smile. “But I don’t know anything about mechanic.” He says upset.

“Don’t worry Cas, we will find out something easy.” He says casually. “I don’t want you to have an accident or something.”

Castiel blushes a little. He likes that Dean cares about him; he likes how it feels to finally have someone who cares for you. Castiel looks down, but he can see that grin Dean makes when Cas blushes because of something he said or did. And Castiel can’t help doing his usually timid smile.

Once they finish breakfast, they go to the garage. It is raining, so they don’t go to the garage by the outside way, they take the indoors way. They have to walk the long hall until they arrive to the garage door. Dean switches on the lights and closes the door. He doesn’t open the big main door of the garage today; he doesn’t want water to get into the garage.

“Well, I guess that you could help me cleaning this babe.” Dean says pointing a light blue 1965 Pontiac GTO. He goes to the tap and picks a bucket; he fills it with water. “We first wash it and then we wax it.” Dean says approaching the bucket. “Pick a couple of sponges from there.” He points at one of the tables with cupboards on it.

“Doesn’t it need to be repaired?” Castiel wonders as he searches for some sponges. Every time he sees Dean in the garage, he is repairing a car.

“It was in really good conditions.” Dean starts to explain. Castiel comes with two sponges and both of them wet them. “It only needed to change the oil. It is the car in best conditions.” He starts to clean the hood of the car. Castiel starts with the one of the sides. “How the hell can Crowley have all this cars and motorbikes?”

“He likes cars.” Castiel starts to answer. “Having a lot of cars shows how rich you are.”

“Have you seen them? Outside they are pretty good, but when you look inside them, all of them need to be repaired.”

Crowley has got over 40 cars and about 10 motorbikes. All the cars are parked really close to each other, leaving just a couple of inches in between. Every time Dean needs to repair one, he has to pick the keys and move it to almost the main door of the garage, where all the tools are, and of course, where there is more space. The garage is huge, but there isn’t enough space for the cars unless they are parked like that.

They keep cleaning the car until it is shining. Then, Dean picks the wax can and he shows Castiel how it must be done. Dean can’t help feeling like Miyagi in The Karate Kid as he explains his friend how to apply the wax. Cas understands how it has to be done and Dean watches for some moments Cas doing it before he starts waxing the car too.

As Castiel waxes the car, he thinks that at least, this birthday he has Dean. He wishes they could have a pie, something that Dean would love, and having the day off to read, or something like that. He should stop thinking all of that; nothing of that it’s going to happen. He is a slave, slaves don’t celebrate birthdays, they just work.

“Cas, what’s wrong?” Dean asks.

Dean always knows if there’s something wrong going on with him. He can tell it by his face or by his eyes. Castiel looks at Dean, who has stopped waxing. His eyes are curious and worried. “It’s nothing, Dean.” Castiel says downplaying.

“Cas.” Dean says serious. He approaches his friend. “What’s wrong?” He repeats; this time there’s worry in his voice.

Castiel looks down and sighs. “Today is my birthday.” He answers shyly.

Dean is surprised. “Yeah? Happy birthday Cas!” He exclaims enthusiastic. “You are 33 today, right?” Castiel nods. “C’mon, you should be happy, it’s your birthday.” Dean murmurs.

“I know, but—” He sighs. Dean realizes that being a slave is not the greatest way to celebrate your birthday. Castiel makes a grimace.

“Yeah, I know, being here in your birthday sucks.” Dean says.

“My birthdays haven’t been really good or happy, actually.” Castiel starts to explain as he starts to wax again. He looks at Dean, who is expecting him to go on with that story. “Since I was ten my family stopped celebrating my birthdays because I didn’t deserve them for hating slavery.”

“I fucking hate your family. You know that?” He says disgusted.

Castiel makes a tiny smile. “I know.” He looks at Dean’s eyes. “And then— Well, you can imagine how my birthdays were once I became a slave.” He takes a deep breath.

“Nonexistent.” He says sadly. Castiel nods. Dean hates that Castiel has lived such a sad and awful life. He didn’t deserve any of that. “I would really like to make you a proper birthday.”

Castiel smiles. “Don’t worry, Dean.” He looks at Dean, whose green eyes are sad. “It doesn’t matter. I have lived more than twenty years without a birthday. What’s one more?” He sounds careless.

Castiel focuses on waxing. Dean knows that Cas deserves a proper birthday. The problem is that being in that house, a proper birthday for a slave, it’s impossible. Cas deserves to be happy. Dean has to do something for Castiel’s birthday, but right now, nothing comes to his mind.

The rest of the morning goes with Dean working on fixing another car, a white 1952 Mercury, while Castiel hands Dean the tools he asks for and cleaning the cupboards where all the tools and pieces are. They don’t talk more about Castiel’s birthday, but they talk a bit about the book they were reading yesterday. Dean was almost finishing _On The Road_ , while Castiel was finishing _Of Mice and Men_. When they finished their respective books, they switched them. They never spoil anything to the other one, but they always like to talk about some of the things that aren’t big spoilers. They have already read the book that the other one was reading, so they spent the morning talking about the characters in both books.

Soon, lunch time arrives, so they leave everything, they wash their hands quickly, and they go towards the kitchen, but before they arrive, the door from Crowley’s office opens.

“Castiel.” Crowley says. Dean and Castiel stop. For Dean, it is strange seeing Crowley talking with a slave, he is usually doing his things; Jo is the one who makes contact with slaves and tells them what to do. “As my daughter said, today you can’t work on the garden because of the rain.” He starts to say. At first he looks at Dean with curiosity, as if Dean shouldn’t be next to Castiel. “I want you to help me with some accounts once you finish having lunch.”

“Yes, mister Crowley.” Castiel says.

Crowley closes the door and Dean looks at Cas confused. Dean doesn’t ask Castiel until they arrive at the kitchen and they are sitting down. “Is that a normal thing?” Dean wonders as he serves himself some soup.

“Yes, sometimes he needs some help at revising accounts and bills.” Castiel explains. Dean serves Castiel some soup and then, he moves the pan away, to the empty space where nobody sits. “He knows I’m really good at math.”

Dean breathes relieved. “Good, then.”

Castiel narrows his eyes. “Were you expecting something bad?”

“Of course!” He says with a strange smile. “C’mon, Cas, nothing good comes from blondie or Crowley.” He starts to eat the soup, it is really hot. He almost burnt his mouth, so he drinks water to reduce the burning feeling in his tongue.

“I know. Don’t worry, it’s only that.” Castiel says. He blows the spoon with soup to cool it. “You worry too much about me.” He says before putting the spoon in his mouth.

“Don’t you do the same with me?” Dean arches one brow and Castiel smiles.

Castiel will always care and worry about Dean. He is his best friend, the best friend he has ever had. He really likes Dean. Maybe Dean’s the present for his birthday, an anticipated present because he has been enjoying Dean’s friendship for more than two months. Yes, Dean’s friendship is his present, the best present he could ever have. He smiles happily when he thinks about that and he looks down, trying to hide his smile from Dean’s wondering eyes.

After finishing their lunch, Castiel goes to Crowley’s office and Dean goes back to the garage. He wishes Cas could be working next to him again. He really likes spending time with Castiel. Thinking about him makes Dean remember that he still hasn’t got any idea about what he can do for Castiel’s birthday. There isn’t a lot of to do, but there has to be something.

Dean leans his elbows in the hood of the car, resting his chin in his palms, thinking about what he can do for Cas. He has the whole afternoon to think about it, but he knows that if he leaves the topic out of his mind for later, it won’t come back and he will remember it once he is in the bedroom with Cas. He has to think about something, anything.

Dean sighs frustrated and he opens the hood of the car to work on the engine. He is still thinking about something for Castiel’s birthday. If he wasn’t a freaking slave and every single thing he did didn’t end up in a punishment, this would be easier.

Suddenly the rain stops. Dean opens the main door of the garage. He loves the smell of the rain, that smell of the grass and the ground wet by the rain is perfect. He closes his eyes and enjoys the blends of smells. He can remember Sam as a little boy splashing every single puddle he founded. He laughed loudly and he loved when Dean joined him and they started to play together. They were just little kids then.

Dean opens his eyes and takes a deep breath. Sam didn’t deserve to die. He should have never come to the Brown Lands, he should be at home, living the life those bastards that killed him ended. He misses his brother so fucking much. Dean takes another deep and long breath before he keeps working on the engine.

Almost two hours pass and Dean hasn’t thought about anything for Cas. He stops working on the engine and he looks outside. It hasn’t started to rain again, but it seems that sooner or later it will rain again. Dean bites his lower lip as he thinks. He looks at the fence and an idea comes to his mind. Castiel said he liked berries, that going through the woods, looking for berries, was a happy memory.

Dean starts to look for something to put the berries on, a jar, a box or anything. He opens all the drawers from the cupboards until he finds a plastic box with nuts. He empties it and he washes it. Then, he dries it and he goes to the fence. He hopes that Jo, Crowley, Alastair or Azazel can’t see him; all of them are inside the house doing different things. The last thing he needs is to be caught.

The ground is a bit slippery, so Dean has to be very careful, he doesn’t want to fall down and hurt himself, and if he appeared all stained with grass and mud, everyone will suspect of him. He runs carefully towards the fence. Once he is next to it, he ascertains nobody can see him and that he is all alone.

As Castiel said, the brambles are really close to the fence, some of them even cross it between the small spaces. Dean squats and he starts to pick some of the berries. There isn’t a lot of variety, but he knows that Castiel would like them. Dean picks blackberries, raspberries and cranberries. Some of the brambles have thorns and Dean pricks accidentally his fingers sometimes, but he doesn’t care; those berries are going to make Cas really happy, so those small cuts are worth.

The box is almost full; Dean has collected a lot of berries, there were still a lot of in the brambles. He looks at the house, seeing if there is someone seeing him, but it seems that nobody is there. He closes the plastic box, all filled with those three different types of berries and he saves it inside one of the pockets of his hooded jacket.

Dean runs fast and carefully towards the garage. Once he arrives, he touches the plastic box; he needs to carry it to their bedroom, so he leaves the garage and he goes towards the bedroom. He hides the box under his pillow and then, he leaves the bedroom, trying to look casually. While he is about to be in the garage, a door is opened.

“What are you doing here, Dean?” Jo asks.

Dean turns over. He isn’t nervous or anything, he has left Castiel’s present, so Jo can’t find out what he did. “I’m coming from the bathroom.” Dean answers. The only bathroom slaves can use is the one in their bedrooms, so if in the middle of their work a slave has to go to the bathroom, he must go to the one in his bedroom.

Jo looks at him, as if she doubts about Dean’s answer. But Dean looks at her with his usual contempt and Jo seems to believe him. “Okay. Keep working.” She says a bit disappointed and with her usual anger.

Dean turns over again and he goes back to the garage. He knows that Jo was craving for touching him or punishing, those angry and fiercely eyes were screaming it. But it seems that Jo never calls him to her bedroom if Crowley is at the house. He must not know that Jo wants to have sex with a slave.

But right now, Dean doesn’t care too much about that, because he found the perfect gift for Cas, it is a silly thing, but it’s the best thing Dean can get under these circumstances. And he has also another silly idea for Castiel’s birthday, it is going to be a bit awkward and stupid, but he knows that Cas will laugh with that. Dean smiles widely as he thinks about that.

The sun is almost down when Castiel opens the door. Dean moves his sight away to see Castiel, who is leaning his back against the jamb. Dean smiles widely; he will never get tired of seeing Cas come to the garage to find him and to tell him that it’s time to leave work and eat.

“I didn’t expect you this afternoon. I thought Crowley was going to let you work late with him.” Dean says as he closes the hood.

“He respects timetables.” Castiel answers. “He doesn’t like to break any routine.”

Dean pouts. “How was your afternoon with him?” He wonders. He closes the main door like he always does when suppertime comes.

“Nothing special. Tallying and things like that.” He watches how Dean collects all the tools and leaves them in their respective places. “A bit boring, I guess.”

“Thought you liked math.” Dean says approaching Castiel. They leave the garage and Dean switches off the lights and he closes the door.

“Yes, I do, but not when it is about economy. Economy is boring.” He squeezes his nose and Dean stirs Castiel’s hair gently. He likes when Cas makes that face.

Dean can’t wait until they arrive to the bedroom and he gives Castiel his gift. He wants to see his face, he is looking forward to see it. It is being a little hard for Dean to look casually, to hide the surprise and how excited he is during suppertime, but he succeeds. Castiel doesn’t expect any of that.

Soon they end up eating, so they go to their bedroom. Dean is really excited, he is like a little kid waiting on Christmas for his presents. But he can’t help it; he wants to see Castiel happy. It isn’t a great gift, but it is something that Castiel will like, Dean knows it. Dean doesn’t know how he can feel all those things for just a small thing like that. Because Cas is someone very important for him. Because he would do anything to make Cas happy. Fuck, since when does Dean sound this cheesy? But he can’t deny it. It might sound cheesy, but it’s the truth, he loves seeing Cas happy.

When they arrive to their bedroom, Dean goes to the bathroom first, to relieve himself and to brush his teeth, then, it’s Castiel turn, so Dean seizes the moment and he picks the plastic box with berries. He stands next to his bed, with his hands behind his back, hiding the gift.

Cas comes out the bathroom and he looks confused at Dean. “What is it, Dean?” Castiel asks.

Dean starts to feel a bit nervous. It is stupid to feel nervous right now. He clears his throat and he approaches Cas. “Happy birthday Cas.” Dean says as he shows Castiel the plastic box of berries. It is transparent, so Castiel can see the content.

Castiel opens his mouth widely and he looks at the box perplexed. Then, he looks at Dean before he asks. “Are those for me?”

“Of course they are.” Dean smiles happily. Poor Cas, he can’t believe they are for him. “It is my birthday present for you.”

The smile in Castiel’s face is all warm, incredulous and happy. He picks the plastic box and he opens it. The smell of the berries arrives at his nose and he looks at them. He can’t believe that Dean picked all those berries for him. “Dean, you could have been punished if someone saw you.” He says worried.

Even in happiest moments, Castiel keeps worrying about Dean. Fuck, he is too good for Dean. “It would have been worth.” Dean smiles.

Castiel smiles and looks down at the berries; he still doesn’t believe that Dean made him a gift, that he spent his afternoon picking berries for Cas, risking himself, just to make a special gift for Castiel.

“I didn’t know what to give you. There weren’t a lot of choices and I remembered that you liked berries and one of your happiest memories was when you were a kid and you went through the woods to pick berries. I know there aren’t a lot, but I wanted to give you something special.” Dean explains with happiness. He is starting to be a bit blushed.

Castiel raises his sight and he hugs Dean, who is really surprised by that. Dean takes some seconds to assimilate the fact that Cas is hugging him, then, he hugs Castiel tightly. Castiel’s hands are placed in Dean’s blades, although one of his hands in still holding the plastic box with berries, tightening Dean. He leans his chin in Dean’s shoulder. Castiel feels great hugging Dean and being hugged by Dean. It is a really warm and nice feeling.

“Thank you so much for this, Dean.” Castiel thanks. He sounds emotional. Dean can feel Castiel’s smile in his shoulder. “I’m really happy for this.”

“I’m glad to hear that.” Dean smiles too. He moves his head to feel Castiel’s for a moment. “I didn’t expect a hug.” He confesses tightening a little bit more Castiel with his arms. Having Cas like that is awesome.

“I wanted to show you how much I appreciate your present.” He says with a shy voice. He stays in silence for a bit; they are still holding each other. “Dean, I’m not sure how much a hug is supposed to last.”

Dean laughs. Awkward Cas, there he is. “It is supposed to last until it gets awkward.”

Castiel makes a confused sight; Dean can’t see it, but he knows it is there. “Is it starting to be awkward?”

“Yeah, a bit.” He laughs.

“Sorry, then.” Castiel pulls away and he blushes. Dean doesn’t like the sudden cold that comes to his body once Castiel isn’t in his arms anymore. And Castiel doesn’t like the cold on his body either. He looks at the plastic box again with a huge smile.

“C’mon, taste them.” Dean says excited. Castiel smiles and he offers berries to Dean. “Cas, they are yours…”

“I want to share them with you.” He wants to give a part of his gift to Dean, who spent a long time picking berries for Cas to make him a great present.

“Okay. Thanks, Cas.” Dean says as he picks some berries. Castiel picks some berries for himself and they eat them. They look at each other as they eat, smiling, showing the blend of red, dark pink and dark purple on their lips and in some parts of their teeth. 

Cas is really happy, and Dean feels great about it. “I’m going to save them in the drawer.” He says with a big smile. He goes to the bathroom and he places the box next to the jar with a few berries is. Then, he approaches Dean. “That was the best gift I have ever had, Dean. Thank you a lot.” His eyes are shinning. Fuck, Castiel’s eyes are even more beautiful when they are filled with happiness.

Dean blushes a little bit as he smiles widely. “Being happy looks good on you.”

Castiel bites timidly his lower lip, smiling and blushing, but he doesn’t look away from Dean’s eyes. He doesn’t say anything, he just stares at Dean’s green eyes. He loves those stunning and vivid eyes. They are really close, the personal space is nonexistent, but no one of them seems to care. They are happy and smiling widely, something very difficult if you are a slave, and they just want to enjoy that moment.

After some moments making eye contact, Dean clears his throat. “Well, I have another thing for you.” Dean says. He knows it is going to be awkward, but he doesn’t care; being with Cas means awkwardness, and he likes that.

Castiel hasn’t moved his eyes away like Dean, but now they show confusion and intrigue. “Another thing?”

Dean nods. “It is going to be awkward but—” He can’t believe he is going to do that. If Sam could see what he is going to do, he would laugh his ass off. Dean takes a deep breath. “Have you ever danced?”

Castiel blinks perplexed. Dean wants to dance with him. He finds that weird. He opens his mouth, trying to ensure what Dean just said. “Dancing?”

“Yeah, y’know, when people move when music sounds.” He starts to explain as he pouts.

“Yes, yes, I know what dancing is, Dean.” He says sassily and rolling his eyes. “Not knowing what a blowjob or a handjob were doesn’t mean I don’t know what dancing is.” He arches a brow.

Dean smirks sarcastically. He really likes Castiel’s sassiness. “You are a little sassy shit.” He shakes his head and Castiel punches his arm softly. Dean laughs.

“Assbutt.” He murmurs.

Dean is now the one who punches, but of course, he does it softly. “You didn’t answer me.” He says arching a brow.

“I have never danced before.” Castiel says. He tilts his head. “Why do you ask?”

Dean licks his lips; he always does that when he is nervous. “Because we are going to dance.” It sounds as awkward as it is going to be.

Castiel makes a face that small kids do when they taste a food that they don’t like. “You can’t be serious.”

“Yes, I’m freaking serious.” He nods as he makes an awkward grin. Dean wants to dance with Cas. Dean sucks at dancing, but it is one of the ‘funny’ things they can do. There isn’t a lot more things to do, and they don’t usually dance, well, they never dance, so today seems to be the perfect day for it. Castiel deserves happiness and laughter in his birthday, and Dean is going to make all of that, even if he has to do something as awkward as dancing with his best friend, the one he has feeli— No! He can’t think about that right now.

“Dean, we don’t have music.” He narrows his eyes. Dean can’t be serious. How are they going to dance without music? Sometimes Dean disconcerts Castiel.

Dean approaches Castiel, leaving no space between them. He holds one of Castiel’s hands with one of his and with his other hand, he holds Castiel’s hip. It is awkward and Dean likes more than he should to be holding Castiel’s hand and hip, but he is going to ignore that small detail. “I can hum the music.” He says casually.

The look that Castiel gives him is filled with disbelief and awkwardness. He is starting to be blushed because Dean is holding his hand and his hip. He is all warm and Castiel feels some strange but warm itch inside himself. Every time Dean touches him, even if it is a small touch, he feels really warm and even cared. 

“Are you insane?” Castiel asks trying to understand what is happening.

Dean starts to dance and hum. Castiel doesn’t know where he can place his free hand. Dean is moving both of them, humming a song that he doesn’t recognize and Castiel thinks all of this is odd. But he starts to smile after seeing how happy Dean looks, and also how blushed he is, and Castiel places his hand in Dean’s shoulder and lets himself go like Dean.

“I knew that you were going to enjoy this.” Dean says laughing, stopping the humming, but not the dancing.

“You are one of a kind.” Castiel laughs.

Dean keeps humming and dancing with Cas, who holds Dean tighter as the moments pass. They twirl together and Castiel’s laughter is louder. Dean loves that laughter. He knows that they look hideous and clumsy, Cas isn’t a great dancer either, but they don’t care if they step on each other’s foot, because they are having fun. Dean is humming a song from Led Zeppelin, dancing with Cas, hearing his laughter, feeling him so close that he can feel the echo of Castiel’s laughter in his whole body. This feels great.

The rain is falling again, they can hear the raindrops hitting against everything, sounding like a drum out of time, going along with the sound of Dean’s humming. Dean isn’t going to deny this is being one of the weirdest and most awkward things he has ever done, but also, it is being one of the happiest moments of his life. Castiel is laughing, twirling with Dean, tightening him. Castiel even is leaning his chin in Dean’s shoulder, so his laughter is more audible for Dean, whose heart is beating with happiness every time that wonderful and happy laughter runs into his ear. Fuck, he doesn’t want to let Cas go out of his arms, he doesn’t want him to stop laughing, to feel him that close, to feel Castiel’s happiness in every single small part of his body, warming and lightening him up.

Castiel can’t stop laughing. He doesn’t know when the last time he felt this happy was. He isn’t even sure if he ever felt as happy as he is now. Dean is holding him, as if he was afraid of Castiel falling, he doesn’t stop humming and dancing. He is doing all of that for Castiel, because he wants Castiel to feel happy, because he wants a happy birthday for Castiel.

Dean remembered that Castiel liked berries and they were part of the few good memories he has. He wanted to give him something that meant happiness. Something as simple as berries, something that any other person may not understand, but Dean did, and he picked as much berries as he could for Cas. And now, Dean is dancing with Cas, because he knows that even if he can find it awkward, Castiel is going to be happy.

Castiel feels so worth and happy with Dean, and being in that moment, laughing, feeling a joy he never expected to feel ever, it is perfect, warm, nice and he doesn’t want to stop feeling all of that. He wants Dean like this, holding him, smiling, laughing, happy… He doesn’t understand how a man he knew almost three months ago could have caused such a big and good impact in his life, how Dean could brought all this happiness, all those warm feelings that were almost nonexistent for Cas.

He doesn’t understand any of that, but he knows he is drunk with all that happiness Dean gives him. He doesn’t want to stop feeling all of that, even if he doesn’t understand any of the things he feels when he is with Dean. He is confused by all those feelings, but he knows one thing; he is falling in love with Dean.


	13. The Difficult Part

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks a lot for all the kudos, the bookmarks, the comments and the subscription, and of course, thank you so much for reading, I'm so glad that there are a lot of people enjoying this fic :)

When Castiel realized that he was falling in love with Dean yesterday’s night, while they were laughing and dancing, he felt great, like something bright and warm was blooming inside him. He was drunk in that feeling, drunk with happiness and it felt extremely good. But now, he is in his bed, thinking what being in love with your best friend means.

Dean is already sleeping, they finished reading their respective books really soon, so they went to bed sooner than those other days, when they went to sleep later than they should. Dean’s breathing is relaxed and calm. The moonlight leaking through the high window allows Castiel to see, more or less, Dean’s beauty. Dean looks really in peace when he sleeps, when his dreams are nice to him.

Castiel sighs. He didn’t tell Dean that he was falling in love with him. He didn’t have to hide anything or act different during the day while he was with Dean. Nothing has changed, their relationship is the same, the only difference is that Castiel has those feelings for Dean and he doesn’t know how to manage them. This is new for Castiel, this is the first time he feels all of that and he is more confused than in his whole life.

There is a small fear inside Castiel. What if Dean founds out Castiel’s feelings for him and Dean reacts in a bad way? Castiel knows that Dean’s relationship with feelings isn’t a good one. Will Dean act in a different way if he knows Castiel is falling in love with him? Castiel doesn’t want any of that. He wants to keep things with Dean like they are right now; he doesn’t want to spoil anything.

He doesn’t exactly know what he wants from Dean. He wants Dean, but he doesn’t know in what way. Being best friends is, in Dean’s words, awesome, Castiel has never had something as great as Dean’s friendship, but inside Castiel, there’s a small need of kissing Dean, of touching him, of getting closer to him. Of having him in ways he hasn’t wanted with anyone before.

He pulls the quilt up until it covers his nose. Nights are starting to be really cold and in the slave’s bedrooms the heat only works for a couple of hours, then, when the night comes, it is off. Castiel wants to feel Dean’s warmth. He shakes his head. Dean doesn’t feel any of what Castiel is feeling, so he has to stop thinking all of that. He doesn’t want to force things, to screw things up, he doesn’t want to break Dean’s friendship for those feelings that Castiel doesn’t understand yet.

Being best friends is great. Dean cares about him, he makes him happy, he talks to him… All of that is great. Maybe Castiel is falling in love with Dean because he is the only person in his life who has showed that he accepts Castiel just the way he is, the only person who cares and threats Castiel good. It may be that.

Or not. Maybe he is falling in love with Dean because he is the sun in his day and the moon in his night. He is the light of his life. If Dean could hear him, he is sure he will say that Castiel is too cheesy. He smiles with that. Dean is all the happiness he thought he will never have. He can’t live without Dean. He has lived during years without him, but now, picturing his life without Dean, is dark and scary. And honestly, he doesn’t want his life without Dean.

He has never been this confused before. He needs to sleep, tomorrow he has to work in the garden, and he doesn’t want to be sleepy the whole day. Thinking about his feelings for Dean isn’t going to help him; he is still going to be confused. His friendship with Dean is perfect, so it is stupid to feel all of that when Dean doesn’t feel the same. Those feelings will disappear sooner or later.

Castiel rolls on the bed and after a while, when all those thoughts have shut down, he falls asleep.

The time to wake up arrives sooner that Castiel expected, and the alarm clock is like a hammer hitting Castiel’s head today. He grunts as he wakes up. He doesn’t get up to turn the alarm off, he does it sitting on the bed.

Dean rolls on his bed and sees Castiel rubbing his face. “Did you have a bad night, Cas?” Dean mumbles with his morning voice.

Dean knows him too well. Castiel nods and he moves his hands away from his face, looking at those precious green eyes. “I did.” Castiel says.

“Nightmares?” Dean asks worried as he sits down in his bed.

“No. Insomnia.” He sighs.

The worry in Dean’s green eyes intensifies. “Wanna talk about it?” He knows that Castiel had insomnia because he was thinking about something.

Castiel stands up from the bed and walks towards the wardrobe. “It’s nothing, Dean. Don’t worry.” He doesn’t want to talk about why he didn’t sleep quite well. He just wants to let things go. And if Dean wants to know the real reasons, he isn’t sure what he is going to tell him. He just hopes that Dean lets it go.

Dean has followed Castiel’s movements with his eyes. His friend is in front of the wardrobe, searching for clean clothes. Dean stands up and approaches Castiel. He leans his left shoulder in the wardrobe. “Talk to me.” Dean says as he gives an upset look to Castiel.

Castiel sighs. Dean isn’t going to let the topic go. “Dean, it’s nothing, really.”

“It’s something, Cas.” He insists. Castiel looks at him in a tired way. “If you don’t tell me, I will grab you and start to dance like the other day to make you smile.” He says pouting.

Castiel smiles. Dean would do anything for him to make him smile. Castiel takes a deep breath and looks down at the clothes he has in his hands, avoiding the eye contact. “Why do you do this, Dean?” He asks with a strange tune of voice. He looks at Dean’s eyes, now, moving them slowly. “Why do you always take care of me?”

“You are my best friend, Cas.” Dean starts to say. “I hate seeing you sad or with something wrong going on with you.”

Castiel nods and looks down to the clothes again. Dean knows that Castiel is hiding something in his mind, something he doesn’t want to talk about.

Dean sighs. “Well, I guess you don’t want to talk about it.” He says a bit disturbed. Cas has the right to don’t tell him everything, but if Dean doesn’t know what is going on with Cas, he can’t help him. Dean walks towards his bed to make it.

Castiel looks at Dean worried. “Did I disturb you?” Castiel asks in a broken voice.

Dean turns his face to see Cas. That voice isn’t something good and his eyes are a bit glassy. Fuck, what’s wrong with him today? It looks like Cas is too sensitive today. Dean must be careful with that. “No, Cas.” He tries to say as sweet as possible. “If you don’t want to talk about it, it’s fine. I’m not going to force you.” He keeps making the bed, stretching the sheets.

Castiel takes a deep breath. “I’m just—” He looks at the ceiling. _I’m just feeling things for you and I don’t know how to handle them_ , he would like to say. He never expected that feeling all those things could be that hard and confusing. “Thinking things that I shouldn’t think about.” He finally says.

Dean frowns. He doesn’t understand at all what that means. “Like what?”

 _Please Dean, don’t make me tell_. Castiel thinks. He takes another deep breath. “Like, everything. Past, present and future.” He isn’t actually lying to Dean; he is only giving him bare explanations.

Dean opens his mouth in a confused way, and his half closes his eyes. He doesn’t understand any word of what Castiel is saying. “I’m lost. Could you explain yourself a little bit better?” He has stopped making his bed and he is approaching Cas.

Castiel looks down. This is difficult. What can he say to sound convincing? Dean worries too much about him, and he isn’t going to leave the topic until Castiel tells him something. He looks at Dean’s eyes, they are confused and concerned. He loves those stunning eyes. He loved them since the first moment he saw them. Can he stop thinking about that? He needs to tell Dean something, he is expecting an answer.

Castiel loses his mind and he throws the clothes to the floor and he hugs Dean, who shocks a lot for that. Cas has never shown any evidence of being a huggy bear and lately he is hugging Dean for more than usually. Dean hugs him tightly, confused by all of that. Castiel has his face buried in Dean’s shoulder and he is fisting the back of Dean’s t-shirt. He doesn’t know why he threw himself to Dean’s arms, he just needed to feel Dean, to feel Dean’s warmth once again. Those arms embracing him and the warmth that Dean releases calm Castiel.

“Are you okay?” Dean asks perplexed. Castiel nods. “Don’t get me wrong, Cas.” He starts to say. “I really like hugging you, but, this hug is unexpected and it is worrying me. Are you sure you are okay?” He doesn’t understand any of that. The way Castiel has thrown himself to Dean was really needy, like the way he is fisting his t-shirt.

“I am now.” Castiel says in a whisper.

Dean feels a warm titillation inside him with those words. He tightens Castiel more and he runs his fingers through Castiel’s hair slowly and he can feel how Castiel seems to relax even more, even the grip on his t-shirt starts to be a soft one. “Are you going to tell me the reason of all of this?” He says sweetly.

“When you hug me I feel good.” Castiel answers as he blushes a little bit.

Dean blushes too and he also opens his eyes widely. “Yeah, it feels good to me too.” He says nervous. He knows his heart has skipped a couple of beats with those words; Castiel likes to hug him. “But I was talking about why you needed to hug me.” He explains. He can’t stop caressing Castiel’s soft hair. He likes having Cas like that.

Castiel doesn’t know what to say. He wasn’t thinking properly when he threw himself to Dean’s arms, it was an impulse, he needed to feel Dean, to hug him, because he feels great when Dean is holding him. His head stops worrying about everything. Castiel loves how Dean’s fingers move in his hair, softly and slowly, and he loves how strong Dean’s arms are and how they protect him for everything.

“You panicked, didn’t you?” Dean says after some silent moments. Castiel nods. He didn’t panic, he was just confused and scared of those feelings, of the fact of losing Dean’s friendship. But it is better to admit that he panicked than to say the truth. Dean will handle it better.

“Sorry, Dean.” Castiel apologizes. Dean’s smell is a nice overwhelming feeling. Castiel likes the smell of Dean. He likes everything in Dean.

“It’s okay, Cas.” He says with his worried voice.

Castiel pulls himself away from Dean’s arms slowly. He looks down, ashamed. He shouldn’t have done that, he knows that Dean doesn’t like when there isn’t any personal space at all.

“My apologies, Dean.” Castiel says blushed and looking down.

Dean places his hands in Castiel’s shoulders and Castiel looks at Dean confused. “Hey, there’s no need to apologize.” His eyes are honest and sweet. “If you need a hug again, just hug me, okay?”

Castiel’s eyes light up with those words. If he ever needs a hug, he can hug Dean. “Are you sure about that?”

“Of course.” He makes a tender smile. “If that helps you, hug me. I like hugging you too.” He likes hugging Cas more than he should, but if Cas needs a hug, Dean would hug him without a doubt.

“Thank you.” There’s a small relief in Castiel.

Dean ducks and picks the clothes Castiel dropped to the floor and he hands them to his friend. “C’mon, take a shower, I don’t want to miss breakfast.”

Castiel smiles. Dean is always thinking about eating. Castiel gets into the bathroom and closes the door. He takes a deep breath. He can still feel the ghost of Dean’s arms embracing him, holding him, his fingers running through his hair. Dean is too good for him. As he thinks all of that, he starts to get undressed and he puts the dirty clothes in the washing machine, then, he gets into the shower.

The water pressure is perfect and the temperature of the water is hot, something welcoming now that the weather is starting to be cold. As the water drenches his hair and his body, Castiel thinks in Dean. Will Dean ever want him? Of course he won’t. Dean doesn’t deserve someone as broken as Castiel. Dean always says that Castiel is the one who takes care of him, but Castiel knows that most of the time, Dean is the one who takes care of Castiel, who keeps him sane. Dean deserves someone better, someone who is good enough for him, and Castiel isn’t.

But at least, Dean is his friend, his best friend indeed, and that’s pretty good. After all the things Castiel has lived, all those nightmares, all those horrors, Dean is the best thing that ever happened to him. He couldn’t ask for more. He has Dean. He is his best friend. Castiel can live hiding all those feelings if that means to have Dean’s friendship for the rest of his life. He can do it.

As Castiel is taking his shower, Dean is thinking about what happened. He is worried about Castiel. Dean knows how bad panic attacks can be, but seeing Cas that fragile, it scared Dean. The way Cas was grasping him in the hug, it made Dean felt needed. He didn’t want to pull away from Dean’s arms. That only happened to Dean with Sam, when they were little kids, but with no one else. Cas has woken up those strange feelings that scare Dean. Fuck, his best friend has a panic attack and he is thinking about how good it felt to hug him, to touch him, to feel his warmth against his own body. He should punch himself or something.

When Castiel gets out of the bathroom, he looks better, as if all the shit in his head disappeared. Dean can’t help smiling with that. “Showers always fix everything, huh?” Dean says.

Castiel narrows his eyes, confused. “What do you mean?”

Dean’s smile is wider. Awkward Cas is adorable. Enough thinking about how cute Cas is. “That taking a shower always helps to get away from all the crap in your head.” Dean explains casually as he goes to the bathroom. He looks at Castiel before he closes the door. His friend nods and makes a tiny smile.

The rest of the morning is like always, breakfast and work. With Dean in the garage and Castiel in the garden. It isn’t raining today, but it is quite cold, so both of them are wearing at least two thick layers of clothes. The garage isn’t really warm, and of course, in the garden it is colder, the cold wind hits Castiel, but he is used to those temperatures and even working when it is colder.

Castiel is still thinking about the hug. He isn’t going to take it out of his mind. At least the confusion about all those feelings he has for Dean, seems to be gone, for now, Castiel knows they will come back sooner or later. A part of him believes that those feelings will be someday gone, but the other part knows that they won’t.

He looks at the sky and he knows that it is time for lunch. Well, actually it is time to go to the garage and tell Dean it’s lunch time, so Castiel saves all the gardening tools in the toolbox and he goes towards the garage to find Dean. Castiel is always happy to go to the garage and find Dean, who always smiles widely when he sees him. He loves that. It is a simple thing, they do it every single day, but Castiel doesn’t get tired of it.

When he arrives at the garage, Dean is standing next to a car, talking with Crowley, who notices Castiel’s arrival and looks at him confused and a bit irritated.

“What are you doing here, Castiel?” Crowley asks. Dean turns his face to see Castiel, whose smile has disappeared.

“I’m here to tell Dean it is lunch time.” Castiel explains with a dry voice.

Crowley looks from head to feet at Castiel, with an enigmatic and acid smile. Then, he looks at Dean, who is looking at Castiel. “Aren’t you two too together?”

Dean answers before Castiel can say anything. “We are friends.” Dean’s voice is powerful and hard. “Is there any problem with that?”

Castiel knows that Dean’s voice is really cocky, but Crowley only smirks with that, something odd in him. “Not at all. I only find it peculiarly strange.” He looks at Castiel.

“Dean and I get on very well. It isn’t anything strange that we became friends.” Castiel says proud and with a hard voice too. He can see a tiny proud smile on Dean’s face.

“I see.” Crowley says. “Well, it is your lunch time, so I will leave you two. Dean, I hope you will do what I told you.” He leaves the garage and Castiel and Dean follow him with their eyes.

Once Crowley is gone, Castiel approaches Dean; he is the one who talks first. “What were all those insinuations about?”

“I don’t know. Never trust Crowley.” Castiel says looking at Dean. “He will tell you something when he means otherwise.” He grimaces in a suspicious way.

“I thought he didn’t pay any attention to slaves.” Dean turns his face to see Castiel’s eyes.

“Maybe he pays more attention than we know.” He suggests. Dean pouts. “What did he want from you?”

“He wanted me to fix the 1962 Aston Martin DB1. He leaves the house tomorrow and he wants to leave with that car.” Dean explains. Castiel breathes relieved. “You thought it was a bad thing, right?”

Castiel nods. “As you said, nothing good comes from Jo or Crowley.” Both smile in an acid way.

“Are you feeling better?” Dean wonders as he and Cas go towards the small door. The weather is cold, and it is better to go to the kitchen taking the inside way instead the outside one, which is the longest way to the kitchen.

“Yes I am.” Castiel answers with a casual tune.

“I’m glad to hear that. You scared me a bit.” He confesses shyly.

Castiel makes a sweet smile; Dean cares for him and Castiel feels worth with that. “I’m really sorry for that, Dean.”

Dean stirs his hair. “Don’t worry about that.”

That’s one of the things about Dean that surprises Castiel; he always worries more for Castiel than for himself, and Castiel can scare him by acting in the weirdest way and Dean will help him and try to make him feel good again, even if Dean doesn’t know exactly what he is going to do. Dean is always fighting and Dean always carries his weight and Castiel’s. In the Brown Lands, every single person is selfish, they only care about themselves, but Dean always cares for Castiel, he always tries to help him with whatever he needs. Of course that Castiel does the same for Dean, but Castiel never expected to meet someone like Dean.

As they start to eat, today there’s swordfish with a small salad, Castiel can’t stop looking at Dean. Sometimes he thinks that Dean never arrived to the house, that Dean is part of a dream, because nobody has accepted how Cas is except Dean; nobody has given Cas a friendship like the one they have except Dean. Nobody has made Castiel feel happy except Dean. In Castiel’s life everything goes wrong, all is pain, all is sadness, but when Dean arrived, all of that faded away.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Dean asks with his mouth filled with lettuce.

Castiel smiles. Dean is sometimes like a little kid. “I was thinking that I wanted to thank you for being my friend.” He says casually. Dean stops chewing and he blushes a little bit.

“Today you are weirder than usually.” He says trying to look casually.

Castiel raises his eyebrows and looks down to stick the fork on a small piece of fish. “I’m always weird to you.”

Dean pouts and nods, showing his agreement. “Yeah, but today, I don’t know. It’s like there’s something different with you.” He murmurs puzzled.

 _The main difference is that I’m falling in love with you and I’m starting to feel things that I have never felt before_. If Castiel ever says that, Dean would be as pale as milk and his face would be the most accurate representation of being shocked.  
Castiel shrugs. “I don’t know.” He keeps eating.

Dean looks at him. He doesn’t know what it is, but there’s something different with Castiel today. Something small, but Dean doesn’t have any idea of what it could be. It is been a weird day today, so he can expect anything from today.

The afternoon goes as boring as usually, doing the same work over and over again, it is boring. Dean loved working in Bobby’s garage, but working for Crowley sucks. He hates it. He sometimes looks at the tools and considers picking one and hurting Jo and Crowley. But the main problem is the black collar. If he goes through the Brown Lands with a black collar or without a collar, he will go to the slaves market again or back to this house. Also, he hasn’t got any money and he doesn’t know where the fence key is.

Dean looks at the garden; he can’t see Cas, but he knows he is there. Dean would love to escape from the house with Cas. They could live together in Sioux Falls. Dean takes a deep breath. Living with Cas, well, it isn’t really different from what they are doing in that house, but in Dean’s home, that could mean that they were a couple. The idea should scare him, but it doesn’t. He is losing his mind for Cas, he knows it.

Dean can’t deny it anymore, he is starting to have feelings for Cas. It is a normal thing, Cas is fucking awesome, he makes him happy, he makes him feel good, sooner or later, Dean would have started to feel something for him, but he didn’t expect it was going to be like that, that those feelings were going to be this strong, that it would happen this quick and easily.

The main problem about this it’s that Cas will never want him. Dean is all crap and Cas is the most freaking perfect guy in the world. Dean doesn’t deserve Cas, he isn’t good enough for him, even if Cas says that he thinks that Dean is great. Dean knows that deep down, Castiel knows how broken and crappy Dean really is.

Yes, Dean would love to go beyond their friendship, but at the same time he doesn’t, because he always ends up screwing things up, and Castiel’s friendship is the best thing he has ever had, more than he deserves, and he is happy about it, so there’s nothing wrong on being best friends, Castiel is happy and Dean is happy. He is going to keep telling himself that.

Dean finishes fixing the car quite early, so he calls Crowley to tell him that the car is ready. Crowley tests it and when he sees that the car works perfectly, he says a dry thank you to Dean and he leaves the garage.

Once Crowley is gone, Dean looks at the sky; it seems to be almost the hour when Cas comes to the garage to tell him it is suppertime. But today, Dean is going to be the one who is going to find Cas. So he saves everything and closes the main door and he goes towards the garden.

Castiel is pruning some hedges carefully. Dean is approaching him slowly, trying not to make any sound at all. When he is close enough, just leaving some inches between each other, Dean says, quite loud “Hey Cas”

Castiel leaps shocked and he hits strongly, and of course accidentally, with the garden sheets Dean’s arm. Dean starts to grunt, the sheers have hit him really hard. Fuck, Castiel is stronger that he thought.

“Holy shit Cas!” Dean yells painfully. He is going to have a bruise for that. “You didn’t have to react like that!” He says with his eyes opened widely.

“Then don’t scare me like that again!” Castiel yells. He was all quiet working and Dean appeared out of thin air and scared him. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. Holy fuck, thank God that you didn’t have a hammer or a sword.” He says shaking his arm.

“Didn’t you learn not to scare people who are using sharpened tools?” He asks sassily and shaking the hand that holds the sheers.

Dean glares him and pouts. “Don’t use your sass! You hurt me!”

“And you scared me!” He yells angrily. He puts the sheers down. “Let me see your arm.” He approaches Dean, who goes back a little

“I’m not going to get undress here! It is cold!”

Castiel rolls his eyes. “Fine. You aren’t bleeding or anything, right?” He asks worried.

Dean shakes his head. “I will have a bruise but nothing else. You hit me with all your strengths.” He murmurs amused.

“Sorry.” Castiel apologizes. “Next time you see me with sheers—”

“Don’t scare the hell out of you.” Dean interrupts and Castiel smiles. “I have a bruise that will remind me that.”

Castiel likes when Dean is like that, all sarcastic and playful. He can’t help smiling. “What are you doing here? There are still a couple of minutes left for suppertime” Castiel wonders.

“I finished with the car early, so I wanted to go and find you. To give you a surprise, but instead, I scared the shit out or you and I got a bruise.” Dean explains sassily.

“I can punch you in the bruise if you keep talking to me with that sassiness.” He arches one eyebrow.

Dean’s smile is wide and happy. That’s his Cas, sassy and happy. “Well, next time I finish soon, I will wait in the garage instead of coming here to be hit.”

Castiel is about to punch him, but Dean grabs his fist with his hand and with the other hand, Dean starts to tickle him. “Dean! Stop!” Castiel laughs as he twists. He tries to get out from Dean’s hand, tickling him, but Dean is holding his hand tightly, so Castiel can’t escape. Finally Castiel uses his free hand and he grabs Dean’s hand after a few attempts. “I’ve got you.” He says victorious.

They are really close; they can almost feel each other’s breathings. That doesn’t help to any of them to get those feelings and thoughts they were trying to forget or to assimilate away. Being like that, too close, holding their hands in that weird stance, makes them want for more, to move their feet until there isn’t any space left and to kiss. But they can’t, because they believe that the other one doesn’t want any of that, that it is awkward and inappropriate.

Dean pulls away first. He is blushed, like Castiel. “Let’s stop. I don’t want any more bruises from you.” He says. He always draws on making a funny comment to forget the awkward moment, as if it hadn’t happened.

“Stop thinking I’m the bad guy.” Castiel says pouting, like Dean usually does.

Dean laughs; Castiel’s face looks too funny with a pout. “You will never be the bad guy.” Castiel smiles in a lovely way while Dean blushes a little bit. “Yeah, that sounded a bit cheesy.” He jokes and Castiel laughs. Damn it, why has Castiel got such a wonderful laugh? “I will help you to carry all of that. I’m hungry.”

“Like always.” Castiel says picking the sheers. Dean kicks his boot and Castiel laughs.

Castiel finds ironic that he found happiness in a house like that. Things would be much better if Dean and he were out of the Brown Lands, having the freedom they don’t have here. But Castiel is really content. He has been happier in those almost three months with Dean than in more than thirty years. It’s all so strange but so nice at the same time.

Dean and Castiel go to the shed, to leave all the gardening tools in there. After that, they go to the kitchen. There are some boiled vegetables; broccoli, cauliflower and carrots. When Dean sees that, he makes a disgusted face. He doesn’t mind eating vegetables when they are grilled, in fact, he likes grilled vegetables, but he hates boiled vegetables; the texture is weird.

Castiel can’t help a smile. He knows that Dean dislikes vegetables. “They aren’t going to change into another food if you keep looking at them.” Castiel says sassily.

“You never know.” Dean says convinced. Castiel laughs before he puts some broccoli in his mouth. “Not even a single piece of meat.” He murmurs annoyed.

“Shut up and eat, Dean. Vegetables are good.”

“I know they are good. But they taste fucking bad when they are boiled.” He explains pissed off. Castiel rolls his eyes. Dean sticks the fork on a cauliflower and he looks at it, twisting the fork, regretting already that he is going to eat that.

Castiel’s eyes are fixed on Dean’s face. He is trying to hold his smile as hard as he can. Dean looks hilarious right now. When his friend eats finally the piece of cauliflower, Dean’s face is priceless, and Castiel has to press his lips to avoid a laugh. Dean is with his eyes closed, almost squeezing his lids and his nose is squeezed.

When Dean opens his eyes, he has a huge disgusted face. That tastes awful, he doesn’t understand how Cas can eat it. “It is gross.” Dean says. He is going to put all the toothpaste in his tongue to remove that awful taste from his tongue. Castiel puts a hand in front of his mouth, hiding it and trying to low the volume of his laughter. Dean glares him, although his lips and nose still show that he is disgusted by the taste of the vegetable. “You found this hilarious, don’t you?”

Castiel nods. He knows his cheeks are starting to get red because of the laughter. Dean sometimes makes funny faces and Castiel can’t hold his laughter. Dean isn’t doing the disgusted face anymore, he is looking at Castiel with some special bright in his eyes and an honest smile. Castiel doesn’t know it, but Dean is thinking about how much he loves seeing Cas like that, unable to stop his laughter, with his cheeks all red and his eyes half-closed, looking content. Dean would love to kiss Castiel in that moment, to feel that laughter, that smile against his lips.

All the other slaves are looking at them, with their usually sick looks, but they aren’t saying anything, they are just looking at how Castiel’s body is shaking because of his laughter, how his face is turning redder and how Dean is smiling and looking at him in a way that shows how much he loves Castiel.

Castiel takes a deep breath after his laughter is gone. He laughs for silly things, he knows it, but he only laughs when Dean is the one who makes those stupid things. He loves that. Castiel rubs his face and then he smiles widely at Dean.

“Are you done?” Dean asks with a small malice.

“I’m not sure.” Castiel answers with a short laugh. Dean bites his lip and makes a soft laughter. “Sorry.” He pants. Then he blinks and his sight is a lovely one. “You make me laugh with the stupidest things.”

“I’m a stupid man, Cas.” He says trying to decide what vegetable he can eat now.

“You aren’t.” Castiel says with a lovely voice. His smile is honest and his eyes are bit glassy. Dean is looking at him bewildered. That look is new for Cas, there’s something warm and big in that gaze, and Dean can’t tell what it is exactly.

Castiel looks down at his plate as he blushes again, but this time it isn’t for laughing, it is because he is feeling shyness. He would have kissed Dean in that moment, he would have told him between kisses that he wasn’t stupid at all. But he can’t, not only because if he did it, all the slaves would look at them shocked and start to hit them or anything like that, because he knows that Dean wouldn’t want that.

It is the worst thing, to have the need to kiss and feel Dean, to hide all those feelings, because he really wants to do that, he has wanted it for some weeks, but he didn’t know it until a few days ago. But Castiel is strong, he has been through a lot, especially physical pain, he can fight that urge, that craving to kiss and feel Dean.

Dean is still looking at Cas, who is blushed. He is still thinking about what Castiel said, all convinced and with a voice filled with affection that Dean wasn’t stupid. Dean eats a broccoli and he makes another disgusted face; he doesn’t do it on purpose, it is an unconscious reflex. Castiel smiles; he is looking down, but he can see Dean’s face.

“Don’t start with that uncontrollable laughter again.” Dean warns with an arched brow.

Castiel moves his eyes to meet Dean’s. “I will try.” He bites his lower lip softly.

“Aren’t you two too happy?” Azazel says with meanness.

Castiel’s and Dean’s smiles disappear and both of them glare Azazel, whose yellow eyes are confused by how happy Castiel and Dean are.

“Do you any problem with that?” Castiel asks aggressively. Dean looks at him proudly. He loves when Cas shows he is a badass. He always hides it, he tries to slip past, but deep down, Dean knows that Castiel is fiercely.

Azazel shocks with Castiel’s answer; he has never seemed Castiel to be that fierce. “Since when are you this brave?”

“Since always.” Dean answers. His tune is strong and aggressive too.

All the slaves look at each other, shocked by how aggressive and even cocky Castiel and Dean are today. Azazel only raises his eyebrows, perplexed. He opens his mouth to say something, but Castiel interrupts him.

“If you aren’t going to say something intelligent, then shut up and stop disturbing us.” Castiel finishes with sassiness and cockiness. Then, he turns his face back to his food, leaving all the slaves speechless.

Dean turns his face to his plate as well, with a cocky smirk. Castiel looks at him and Dean winks him an eye, something that makes Castiel smile proudly and happily. Dean has to admit that seeing Cas like that was freaking awesome. He has even shut up all the slaves.

After a couple of minutes, they end up eating and both of them go to their bedroom together; while they are on their way, Dean talks. “Can I tell you looked so fucking badass and you were fucking awesome?” He is so proud of Cas. He knows that Cas, after living everything he has lived, he finds it hard to show how strong and brave he is, but tonight he has shown that he won’t be afraid of showing it.

Castiel smiles happily. “Thank you. And thank you so much for saying that I have always been brave.” He opens the door or the bedroom and they get inside, then, he locks the door.

“You look hot when you are so badass.” Dean says. Fuck, did he actually say that out loud? He is going to regret saying that. Why doesn’t he also add that he could have had a boner when Cas looked so badass? What the hell is wrong with him?

Castiel tilts his head and narrows his eyes. “What do you mean I look hot?”

Dean swallows. Cas doesn’t know what the expression means. Dean is blushing. Since he started to be attracted by Cas, he blushes every few minutes. Dean Winchester never blushed unless it was about something really, really, really awkward, but now, when he is with Cas, he blushes easily. “It’s when—” He would punch his throat, brain and tongue or whatever he needed to stop saying things like that. They are best friends, nothing more, Dean has to stop thinking about something else. Cas doesn’t deserve him and Dean is all crap. Then, why does his brain play tricks with him?

Castiel is looking expectant at Dean’s explanation. He hasn’t missed the blush in Dean’s cheeks. Dean takes a deep breath. “It’s an expression. It means that someone looks attractive.” Dean finally says.

It was obvious that Castiel would blush with that. Dean has said he is attractive and Dean would bet all his money, and he wouldn’t lose a single cent, to say that no one ever said to Castiel that he was attractive. That blush and those wide eyes confirm it.

“Do you think I am attractive?” Castiel says with difficulty.

Dean, why on earth did you said that? Why can’t his mouth shut the hell up? He is nervous, he can’t be redder because it is impossible and his mouth is now dry. He knows he has to answer Cas. “Yeah, you are attractive.” He starts to say. He is trying to sound as casual as he can. He is telling Cas, his best friend, the one he has feelings for, he is attractive. It doesn’t matter how he says it, it is going to sound awkward and weird anyways.

Cas isn’t helping Dean with that confused, shocked, awkward and who knows what else Cas is feeling with this conversation, facial expression. His mouth is opened a bit, trying to process Dean’s words. Dean must keep talking, try to say something to soften the awkwardness.

“C’mon, you are attractive, don’t tell me you didn’t know it.” Dean is using his eloquence. He has always been good with it; he hopes it will help him this time. “Your blue eyes are stunning, you are tall, you are in shape, you have nice hair…” Dean pouts. He doesn’t know if his eloquence it is softening things or keeping things as awkward as they were, because Cas has the same face. Dean shrugs in a nervous way. “I don’t know Cas, you are attractive.”

“I—” Castiel stammers. “I don’t know what to say to that.” He says. If you could see an accurate picture of a person being confused, you will see Castiel’s face right now. “I’m not as attractive as you.”

Dean’s eyes are opened as wide as possible. That was the most unexpected thing in Dean’s life. He knows that Castiel likes his freckles and his eyes also, Castiel makes a lot of eye contact, but he never thought that Cas could find him attractive.

“Are you serious?” Dean says. Why the hell does he ask? Isn’t this moment being awkward enough?

Castiel nods. “I do think you are really attractive.” He says convinced. There isn’t shyness in his voice and that startles Dean a lot.

“Oh—” Finally Dean is speechless. Now his brain has decided it is the right moment to stop saying things that he shouldn’t. It is a bit late for that. “Thanks.” Dean says shocked. He knows he looks like an idiot right now. He needs to draw on the usual humor touch he uses in those situations. “I’m going to the bathroom to stop saying awkward things.” He says with an awkward smile.

Castiel tilts his head. “Did you find it awkward?”

“Didn’t you?”

Castiel shakes his head and Dean makes a confused gaze. “No, it was… New.” He explains. He narrows his eyes and looks away. “Nobody told me before I was attractive.”

“Well, you are it.” He sounds casual. Dean is more relaxed. Knowing that Cas didn’t found it awkward, relieves him a bit. “If nobody told you before, they had to be blind or something.” He adds.

Castiel looks at Dean and he makes a tiny shy smile. Dean dedicates him a tiny smile too before he gets into the bathroom and closes the door. Dean takes a deep breath and leans his back in the door. Why can’t he keep his mouth shut? Why does he need to say Cas all those things? The only thing he is going to obtain with that, it is to scare the hell out of Cas. He must stop. The way that Cas looked at him when he told him he was attractive…

Dean’s heart is beating fast, although the speed was faster while he was talking to Cas. He has to control himself. He has the best friendship he has ever had and if he doesn’t control what he says and what he does, that friendship will be gone. He doesn’t want to hurt Cas and he doesn’t want to lose him. Cas is more important that all those things Dean is feeling. He has to mark that with fire in his brain or something.

He takes another deep breath and he rubs his face. What a spectacle he has done. Luckily, at the end, Cas reacted in a good way, he even smiled in that cute shy way of his. It could have been worst.

While Dean is in the bathroom, Castiel is sitting on the edge of his bed, with his heart beating quite fast and there’s a strange warmth wrapping his whole body. Dean finds him attractive. He knows that Dean found awkward to say all those things, but Castiel has a pretty smile on his lips because Dean thinks he is handsome. He knows that it doesn’t mean anything, Dean reacted in a nervous and uncomfortable way, showing that he isn’t really comfortable with those thoughts, but Castiel is happy. Dean is the first person to tell him he is attractive. He has never cared about being attractive, he has always believed he wasn’t handsome and he was okay with that, but knowing that Dean thinks he is handsome, feels good.

Castiel bites playfully his lower lip. There’s that titillation inside his body. Dean tells him nice things that he truly believes, he supports him, he makes him smile and Dean likes him, as a friend, of course. It is difficult to feel the things Castiel is feeling for Dean and not being able to tell or show them to Dean, but he will try his best. He will keep all of that for himself.

The same thing is going to do, or try, Dean.


	14. The Attic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to all my readers, to every single one who is enjoying this fic. And thanks a lot for the kudos, the comments, the bookmarks and the subscriptions. You guys are great!

“Don’t tell me the attic is huge.” Dean says annoyed. He and Cas are going up the stairs. Jo told them during lunchtime that they will have to clean the attic’s floor.

“I won’t tell you, then.” Castiel says with a grin.

Dean makes an exasperated sigh. “Awesome.” He knows that the attic is in the last floor on the house, and it is one of the two only rooms in that floor. The house is huge, so the attic is going to be freaking enormous. Also, they are carrying four buckets with water and soap on it. Furthermore, they will have to clean it with cloths, like they did with their bedroom. Dean doesn’t want to scrub the floor in that uncomfortable stance. And much less to clean like half of the house.

“Look on the bright side.” Castiel says as he leaves the buckets with water on the floor to open the attic’s door. “At least we are going to do it together. It would be worst if we did it only by ourselves.”

Dean pouts. His mind has thought something he shouldn’t when Cas said do it. But he removes that thought as quick as he can. “I really like working with you. But you know I suck at cleaning in that anime way.” Dean protests. Castiel makes a sympathetic smile and he opens the door. Dean looks at the attic and he opens his mouth widely. “Son of a bitch.” He says desperate. The attic is even bigger than he expected.

Castiel looks at him and he pouts. “It is bigger than you expected, right?” He wonders. Dean nods. Castiel sighs. “It will be bigger when you start cleaning it.” He ducks to pick the buckets.

“Thanks for the encouragement.” He says with sarcasm. Castiel snorts a laugh.

They get inside the huge attic. Everything is in order, there are several boxes scattered all over the place, there are a couple of washing machines, a fridge and driers too. There are even some statues in there. Also, there is vintage sofa and a small bicycle for a small kid.

“We will have to move most of the stuff to clean, right?” Dean says as he puts both of the buckets he is carrying on the floor.

“Yes. We will have to put most of the boxes on the sofa, the appliances or anywhere we can leave them.” Castiel explains.

“I already hate this and we haven’t even started.”

The smile in Castiel’s lips is happy and bright. He can’t help smiling like that when he is with Dean. He likes everything in Dean. He can’t control any of those feelings, any of those sensations when Dean is with him. As days pass, they become stronger, but Castiel manages to hide them from Dean. It is difficult, but his emotions and his thoughts are chaotic when it comes to it, so Castiel tries not to overthink about it; it is the best option, although he knows some nights he will have to suffer from insomnia. He knows too well his head, so one night, his mind will bring back again all those topics related with Dean and he won’t be able to fall asleep; but Castiel is used to have a sleepless night. Thought this time the reason it is a new and different one from what he is used too.

Once Dean and Castiel leave the buckets on the floor, they start to move the boxes to every single place they can. Mostly it is on the sofa and on the washing machines and the driers. They won’t move anything of that, so it is a good place to leave everything that gets in the way of cleaning. Once most of the free space is taken, Dean and Castiel have to put everything wherever they can. For Dean is easier, he has spent a long time during his teens playing to Tetris, so doing it in real life isn’t too hard.

Dean sighs once everything that was on the floor, quitting the sofa, the appliances and the marble statues. “What the hell are in those boxes?” Dean asks. He is sweating already. Surprisingly, the heat in the attic is hotter than he expected.

Castiel shrugs. “Old clothes and some paperwork, I guess. I’m not really interested in knowing their content.”

“Me neither. But some of them weighed too much. As if they were filled with rocks.”

Castiel sighs and he starts to take off his boots. “You should take yours off too.”

Dean complies. When they have taken off their boots, Dean places them on the top of one of the washing machines, almost on the border of it. When he turns over, Castiel is already kneeling next to one of the buckets. Dean approaches him and kneels too. He looks resigned at the bucket. He really doesn’t want to clean the attic.

“The more you think about it, the worst it is going to get.” Castiel says. He knows Dean for long enough to read what most of his faces mean.

“I don’t like this task.” Dean objects as he wets the cloth.

“Do you think I do?” Their eyes meet. Castiel likes every chance he has to stare at those gorgeous green eyes. He is really comfortable when their eyes meet. Most of the times Dean is the one who moves his sight away, Castiel doesn’t know when the staring is too much and starts to be awkward, but he doesn’t mind it at all. “But we have to.” He keeps explaining. “Neither of us wants to be punished.”

Dean nods and sighs. He looks down at his cloth. “Yeah.” He murmurs. He looks back at Castiel. “I guess we have to clean this the same way we did with our bedroom, right?”

“We only have to clean it once.” He says. Dean’s eyes open wide and his brows rise. There is a tiny smile trying to appear on his lips. Castiel doesn’t realize he is smiling after some seconds. “I assume you like that.”

“Fuck yeah!” Dean exclaims with a wide smile. He was expecting to have to clean the floor two times. One is still a lot because of the attic’s dimension, but Dean is really happy to know that there has to be cleaned only once. “It is still a long and exhausting job, but I won’t complain.”

Castiel laughs. He loves to be the reason behind that smile. There’s a tingle inside Castiel every time he makes Dean smile or laugh. He wonders if Dean feels that tingle when he makes Castiel happy, if he feels that overwhelming warmth too. It isn’t time to think about that; there’s a lot of work to do.

When the cloths are wet and the excess of water is drained, Dean looks at Castiel before he speaks. “Can you please put me in the right stance?” He asks. He is already in the position, but he knows that Cas will move to the right place his articulations.

Castiel nods. There’s a small burning and tickling sensation. It always happens when he touches Dean or he is touched by Dean. But he knows those small touches are only friendly, nothing else. He moves Dean’s knees and his elbows until Castiel sees he is in the proper stance.

“Thank you.” Dean says. He doesn’t know how he isn’t blushing. Feeling Castiel’s hands in his body, even if they are small and meaningless touches like that, makes Dean feel really good and he wants more, but he knows he can’t have it.

“You are welcome.” Castiel says as he moves away. He and Dean have divided the attic in two halves, so they will clean the same amount of floor. “I hope you don’t fall this time.” He says with his sassy smile.

Dean dedicates him an annoyed one. “You’d love to see me falling and start to laugh, right?” His eyebrows arch.

“I’m not that mean!” He says annoyed.

“I was teasing you, Cas. I know you don’t.” He makes a sweet smile and Castiel blushes a little and looks down at the floor, trying to hide away from those stunning green eyes.

Soon, they start to clean the floor. Of course, Castiel does it quickly. Dean has improved since the last time he did it but he is still slow and a bit clumsy. He watches how Castiel moves from one wall to the other without hesitation and without trembling at all.

Dean can’t help staring at Castiel’s ass whenever he can. His friend is showing it perfectly, and despite of Dean’s intents to keep his mind out of that, he can’t. He knows he has to find a way to get those thoughts away, but it is hard. He doesn’t want Cas physically, well, he wants it too, he isn’t going to lie, but for the first time in Dean’s life, he wants Castiel in more ways, he wants Cas; everything that Cas is. He doesn’t want Cas like he wanted all those girls or boys he was with, he doesn’t want one night stand, he wants more than that, and that scares him a lot.

He has never felt emotionally compromised to a person before; he was emotionally compromised with Sam and Bobby, but that is because they are family, but Cas isn’t and Dean feels dizzy every time he thinks deeply about it. He likes waking up and seeing Cas, even if he is sleeping in the other bed, he likes spending every single fucking day with Cas. He doesn’t want to stop that. Cas is happiness, is safe, is warmth, he is everything that Dean has never been given before from anyone who wasn’t his family.

But Castiel doesn’t want any of that. Castiel has lived a live that was like hell. If Cas ever feels like having anything, he should have someone better than a broken and full of crap man like Dean. Dean isn’t good enough for Cas. He will never be good enough for him.

Dean has to stop thinking about that and he has to let out of him some of the things going on his mind. The best way is with jokes and things like that; he loves teasing Cas and seeing how he reacts. “Are you showing off your ass to me again, Cas?” Dean asks with a hussy voice.

Castiel turns his face to look at Dean, who has a perfect view of his ass. Castiel, meanwhile, is blushed and his eyes are glaring at him, but not in an angry way. “Shouldn’t you be looking at the floor?” Cas asks sassily, with one of his eyebrows arched.

Dean’s eyes open wider than he wants to, but despite of it, he likes how Castiel teases him. “I would, but you are distracting me.” He blinks in a flirting way, hoping that Castiel doesn’t know its meaning and by Castiel’s tilt of head Dean knows Cas doesn’t have any idea of that gesture.

Castiel turns his sight down and he keeps cleaning. Dean feels more relaxed once he has said that and Castiel has took it as a joke he hasn’t understood quite well. Dean keeps cleaning, so he doesn’t see a dry cloth being thrown to his face, hitting his eyes. He can hear Castiel’s soft laughter.

Dean removes the cloth out of his eyes and he glares at Castiel, whose laughter is making him look freaking gorgeous. “That’s for staring at my bottom.” Castiel says rogue.

Dean smirks. He throws the cloth, but Castiel moves and he dodges it. Dean curses to himself and he looks at the cloth and then, he looks at Castiel. Dean runs fast toward the cloth before Castiel can move, but seconds later, Castiel runs towards it.  
Castiel arrives after Dean, who has caught the cloth and Castiel throws himself above Dean, trying to take the cloth away from Dean’s hand, but Dean is holding the cloth with all his strengths and his arm is stretched as much as he can, making it hard for Castiel to catch it.

But Castiel is persistent. He is lying above Dean, shaking his whole body, trying to reach the cloth, but Dean’s arm is really far and Dean’s other hand is grabbing Castiel’s hoodie, pulling him away from the cloth. Dean is laughing as he wrinkles his nose. Castiel is making funny and concentrating faces; he is going to get that cloth one way or another.

Dean fists tighter Castiel’s hoodie and he rolls both of them, so now, Castiel is the one lying on the floor while Dean is lying above Castiel. Dean raises his thorax, so he ends up kneeling, with one of his legs between Castiel’s legs. Castiel makes a displeasing grunt and he grabs Dean t-shirt, so it is easier for him to stand, ending with his face really close to Dean. But Castiel isn’t focused on Dean’s face right now, he wants to catch the cloth, so he moves his arm, trying to reach it, but once again, Dean moves his arm as far as he can.

“Give me the cloth!” Castiel exclaims frustrated as he makes exhausting movements. He is smiling, because he knows that Dean is teasing him.

“I’m not going to give it to you.” Dean laughs.

Castiel keeps trying to reach the cloth, but he fails. He makes a cocky glare, something that makes Dean’s eyes open wider; he knows that Cas is up to something, but he doesn’t expect Castiel’s fingers tickling the skin behind Dean’s ear. Dean shakes his whole body, so Castiel can reach the cloth, but Dean pulls his hand away from Cas before he can reach it, so Castiel grunts and he keeps tickling Dean and it goes like that for several moments, until Dean grabs the hand Castiel is tickling him with and he places the hand he has the cloth with in the small of Castiel’s back.

They are in strange an awkward position. Dean is kneeling, with one of his knees between Castiel’s legs. Meanwhile, Castiel is sitting, with his legs stretched. Dean is holding Castiel’s hand and touching the small of Castiel’s back, and Castiel’s free hand is in Dean’s shoulder. Their faces are really close, their noses are slightly touching. They are aware of that, but no one of them can pull away.

They are panting. They can feel each other’s agitated breathing. Dean’s eyes go to Castiel’s mouth, he is so freaking close, he wants to feel those lips against him, to touch them. Everything inside Dean is craving to kiss Cas, he needs to, but he shouldn’t kiss Cas, because he knows that Cas doesn’t want it, and once Dean kisses Cas, he won’t be able to stop.

Dean looks back at Castiel’s eyes; they are looking at Dean’s mouth. Dean blushes, is Castiel actually thinking on kissing him? Dean’s heart starts to beat faster and he feels the blush appearing on his cheeks, spreading through his face until it arrives at his ears. Castiel turns his sight away from Dean’s lips and he meets Dean’s eyes. Dean parts his mouth when Cas looks at his eyes. Cas is blushed too and his lips are a bit parted as well. Would it be too wrong to kiss him? Cas seemed that he wanted to kiss Dean, but what if he didn’t? Cas has never kissed anyone, he has never been so close to anyone like this, maybe this is confusing to him, but Castiel is still staring at Dean, with bright eyes. Every single instinct in Dean is telling him to lean on Castiel’s lips and kiss Cas, but his mind is telling him not to. He doesn’t know what to do. Holding Cas like that feels good and nice and Dean doesn’t want to pull away. He wants to approach Cas even more, until there isn’t any space in between, until their lips touch.

“Dean.” Castiel says breathy. Fuck, he sounds so sexy with that voice.

“Yeah?” Dean mumbles as if he lost the ability to speak.

“We have to finish cleaning.” He says casually.

It feels like someone let a heavy stone fall down and it hit Dean. He feels a sudden cold with those words. “Yeah, sure.” He manages to say, pulling away and letting Cas go with regret. The sudden loss of Castiel’s warmth in his body feels wrong, but he knows it has to be like that. Thankfully, Dean didn’t kiss him; it would have been a big mistake.

Dean clears his throat. “Back to work.” He doesn’t have anything better to say. He nods and he goes where he was cleaning before both of them ran towards the cloth.

He feels stupid. Why would Cas want him? Nobody sane would want Dean. But his eyes were looking at Dean in that special way… There wasn’t anything special, Cas always looks at him like that. Dean should know it well. Fuck, he hopes he wasn’t really obvious, he hopes that he didn’t spoil their friendship with any of that.

Dean starts to clean again the floor, focusing on it, trying to get away all those thoughts and emotions. Overthinking isn’t going to do him anything good at all. But his heart is still beating fast and the rush is still in his veins. It isn’t that easy to forget and throw all of that away.

Castiel looks for a moment at Dean before he keeps cleaning. He was dying for kissing him. The way Dean was holding him, tightly but soft, made Castiel feel good. There were just a few inches left between them, he could see himself reflected in Dean’s eyes. The way that Dean was looking at him was different. Nobody ever looked at him like that.

Castiel sighs low. He had to say something because he wasn’t sure about any of that. He sucks at reading other’s persons emotions. He knows most of Dean’s because they know each other for three months, but there are some of them that he doesn’t know yet. He doesn’t know what that look meant. He is sure that Dean is attracted to him, but it seems that he is only physically. He doesn’t want that, Castiel wants Dean to be attracted to him for something more, not only physically.

And what if he is not only physically attracted to him? What if Dean is attracted to him in other ways but Castiel can’t see it? He would ask him, but he is afraid of the answer, if Dean tells him no, Castiel’s heart will break, but if he says yes, Castiel doesn’t know what he would do next. Having a relationship sounds complicated, and what if they are discovered? They will just die if they are lucky, if not, they will be tortured to death. Castiel knows that.

Why is he thinking all of that? He is confusing things. Dean doesn’t want him at all. He is seeing things where they aren’t. Dean might be attracted by his body, but nothing else. He should stop thinking all of that. Nothing is going to happen between Cas and Dean, only casual touches like those, filled with awkward moments. Nothing else.

The only sound in the attic is the one they make with their feet. Dean and Cas are too busy thinking about what happened, what could have happened and what will never happen.

Dean hates being like that with Cas. He has screwed it up. That’s why he shouldn’t be with him, because he will end up screwing things up. He takes a frustrated breath, a low one. Then he speaks. “Cas, I—” Dean starts, but he doesn’t know how to go on. Castiel turns his face to look at him. Dean swallows. He sucks with words, he will always suck. He hasn’t got any idea of what to tell Cas. “Never mind.” He sighs frustrated and ashamed.

“Dean.” Castiel says. There’s concern in his voice. “Dean, look at me.” He asks for. Dean looks at Cas. “What’s wrong?”

 _That I want you in ways that I have never wanted anyone before_. Dean hopes he doesn’t say any of that, first of all it would be a mistake and it will fuck things up, and second, it sounds freaking cheesy.

But Dean has to say something. He has been a good liar all his life, but he finds it difficult when he is with Cas. Dean sighs. “I made you feel uncomfortable, right?” Dean asks with a small fear in his eyes. “While I was holding you like that and so close.” He explains.

Castiel looks down and blushes a little bit. He wasn’t uncomfortable, he felt good, actually, but he didn’t know what to do in that moment, everything was so confusing and his head didn’t shut up and that tingle inside his body was growing up more and more as time passed, and so the warmth did.

Dean sighs. “Your expression confirms it.” He says devastated and looking down. Castiel raises his sight. He wants to say no, to say all those things he shouldn’t say, but the words are stuck in his throat. “I’m sorry, Cas. I shouldn’t—”

“No.” Castiel says finally. Dean looks at him with a frown. “I mean, it was odd, but don’t apologize for it.” He feels more timid as he speaks. He doesn’t want to see Dean like that. It was just a meaningless moment, they were having fun, that’s all. “We were playing and we ended up like that. There’s nothing to apologize for.” He says with his shy smile.

“Oh. Good.” Dean says. It was like that. Nothing else, and Dean was overthinking about it. He is becoming more and more stupid. Cas was only playing with him, nothing more. It is a relief to know that Cas isn’t upset by that, but knowing that for Cas it was only a game, hurts Dean a little.

Dean makes a smile and he keeps cleaning. Things were easier when he wasn’t feeling any of that. Dean was always a guy who only had sex, emotions weren’t involved, and he was really good with that, he liked it. He was avoiding emotions all the time, but now he can’t, and everything is complicated and it hurts. If Sam was still alive, he would advise him about what he could do and Dean is sure he would laugh of Dean, because his big brother has feelings.

Castiel goes toward the buckets and he cleans the cloth in the one that has only water, then, he wets the cloth again in the bucket with water and soap. He will change the cloth the next time he goes to the buckets.

His sight is in Dean, who is focused on cleaning. Castiel smiles. “You have improved.” He says.

Dean looks at him, surprised. “Really?”

Castiel nods. “Yes. You are doing it better, quicker and you haven’t fallen yet.”

Dean laughs. “I still have a lot of to clean. Maybe I will fall sooner or later.”

“Or maybe not.”

“You overrate me Cas.” Dean says blushing a little bit. He smiles and looks down.

Castiel doesn’t overrate him. He knows that Dean won’t fall. Castiel smiles and keeps cleaning the floor. There is still a lot to clean and they will have to put all the boxes on the floor once they are done. And they have to do that before suppertime. It is an exhausting work.

Hours and hours pass, but after a long time cleaning, they are done. Of course, Castiel is the one who finishes first, but Dean doesn’t last longer, in a few minutes, he is done too. He stands up and places his hand in the small of his back; it hurts a lot, he is going to have stiches.

“Fuck, we are done.” Dean says exhausted.

“Finally.” Castiel says exhausted too. “You didn’t fall after all.” He says proud from the other wall.

Dean smiles. “Yeah. I didn’t.” He takes a deep breath and looks around. “Guess we have to put all the boxes back on the floor, right?”

Castiel nods. “But we have to be careful, the floor is slippery.”

Dean looks at the floor and carefully he tests it. As Castiel said, the floor is really slippery, but Dean isn’t worried about that, he likes it in fact, it is like skating with his socks. He starts to move through the room, as if the socks were skates, without lifting his feet at all. Castiel watches him amused.

“How are you doing that?” Castiel says surprised.

Dean is moving towards him. “It is like skating. Try it.” He says with a smile.

Castiel doesn’t know how to skate, but Dean isn’t actually skating, so it must be easy. Dean is close to him, so if Castiel is about to fall, he knows that Dean will caught him or Castiel will just only hold himself in Dean.

He moves his feet slowly, the floor is really slippery, but he seems to be doing it good. Dean is in front of him, watching him carefully. Castiel moves again, he is gaining confidence, so he moves faster, but he slips, he lifted his feet, so he is grabbing Dean, but he is grabbing Dean’s jeans and he pulls them down.

“Cas!” Dean says shocked.

Castiel is kneeling on the floor, with his eyes wide open, and his face really pale, except in his cheeks, which are really red. He looks at Dean’s eyes. He is all ashamed for that. Castiel hides his mouth with both of his hands. This is really awkward, he didn’t want to pull Dean’s jeans down, it was an accident.

“Dean, I’m so sorry.” Castiel starts to say really ashamed.

Dean looks at his jeans and he pulls them up. “If you wanted to see me without pants, you could just wait until I took them off to sleep!” He jokes.

“I didn’t want to do that!” He says ashamed and looking awkwardly. He is blushing more and more. Dean is now laughing loud. “Dean! Stop laughing!” But Dean can’t stop laughing, Castiel looks so embarrassed and awkward that it makes his laughter go louder. He knows that it was an accident, but it was a funny one. “It’s not funny!”

“Of course it is!” Dean says laughing. His face is almost as red as Cas, but his is red because of the laughter. “Only you could fall and pull my pants down.” He laughs.

Castiel bites his lower lip and he smiles. “Assbutt.”

Dean takes a breath and his laughter starts to disappear slowly. “C’mon, let me help you to stand up.” He says offering his hands. Castiel holds Dean’s hands and stands, but he slips again and he grabs Dean’s t-shirt tightly while Dean holds his waist. “Woah, be careful.” He says a bit worried. Castiel nods. “Don’t worry, Cas. I’ve got you.”

Castiel’s lips are parted and he looks at Dean again. They are going to start looking at each other awkwardly and they already had enough of that today. Castiel would love to be like that again, even if he can’t kiss Dean, but he doesn’t want to make Dean feel uncomfortable. Castiel looks at his feet until he feels he isn’t going to slip again.

“I think I’m good.” Castiel says pulling away softly.

“Sure?” Dean asks. Castiel nods. “Okay. If you fall again, try not to pull my pants down again.” He smirks.

Castiel glares him and he is about to punch him, but Dean moves away. Castiel is standing, not being sure if he won’t fall again. He looks at Dean, who is smirking happily.

“You can’t catch me.” Dean says with the voice of a little kid.

“I will.” Castiel says moving without any fear towards Dean.

They skate through the attic for several moments, of course Dean is always checking Cas, he doesn’t want him to fall and hurt himself, but his friend is doing pretty well, although he is going slower that Dean, who is laughing all the time.

Dean is now going backwards, so he doesn’t see one of the lamps and he trips over, falling to the floor. Castiel smiles proudly when he sees him, but he also falls too, but because he has lifted his feet again.

They look at each other and they start to laugh and to giggle, as if they were little kids playing around. They feel happy and great like that, they are on the floor because they fell and they are laughing as if it was the funniest thing in the world.

“We are a pair of dorks.” Dean says when his laughter is lower.

“A bit.” Castiel says. He looks at Dean with love. “You always make me laugh. Thank you.”

“Cas, you don’t have to thank me anything.” Dean says standing up. He approaches Cas to help him again to stand up. “I always have a great time with you.”

Castiel stands up, luckily this time he doesn’t slip and ends up in Dean’s arms. “I know. But I really appreciate our time together, our talks. It is great.”

Dean blushes a little with that. He feels worth with Castiel’s words. “Thank you.” He says shyly. After some seconds he clears his throat. “Let’s put all those boxes in the floor. I’m starting to be hungry.”

Castiel smiles and nods. They start to put the boxes down in the floor, being very careful, they don’t want to slip and have an accident with any box. As Dean moves the boxes, he shakes them, trying to know what they content. Every time he does that, Castiel arches a brow; Dean has never been busybody, so Castiel finds it odd that Dean is trying to know what’s inside the boxes.

“Do they ever open these boxes?” Dean asks.

“I don’t know.” Castiel answers. The only thing he knows about the things in the attic is that when Jo or Crowley doesn’t need something anymore, they leave it there.

Dean opens one box and starts to look inside. “Sewing stuff.” He says pouting.

Castiel sighs and approaches him. “Dean, you shouldn’t be nosing around those things.” He is sure that Jo or Crowley won’t notice that someone has looked inside that box, but Castiel doesn’t want to take any risk.

But Dean is ignoring him. He has picked a small metal case and he is looking at it with attention. He opens it and he sees a few needles, well ordered in one side, with some scissors as well, and on the other, there are different threads, all black but their thickness is different. The case’s interior is covered by red velvet.

“It seems to be very old.” Dean murmurs as he shows it to Cas.

“It is.” Castiel touches the threats; the texture isn’t as soft as any regular thread. “It seems to be for medical use.” He frowns confused.

“Medical?”

“Yes.” He looks at Dean. “Back in the 19th century, when doctors had to sew any wound, they used needle and thread; there weren’t any of the actual and modern sutures.” He picks the case and looks at it. Despite of its antique, the case and all its contents, are in perfect conditions.

“Y’know what?” Dean starts to say picking the case. “We are going to keep it.” He says putting it inside one of his pockets.

“Dean, you can’t do that!” Castiel murmurs exalted.

“Of course I can. I did it.” He smirks sarcastically. Castiel rolls his eyes. Dean is now closing the box. “I shouldn’t, but I can.”

“Dean if they found out—”

“They won’t.” He interrupts. Castiel glares him. “Look, Cas, I don’t think Jo or Crowley will care about something like that, they don’t need it.” He starts to say. His voice is low, but Castiel can hear him perfectly. “If something goes wrong, it is my fault, not yours. I took it when you didn’t see me, so you don’t know anything about it.”

Castiel blows. “Why do you need that?”

“You never know what Jo can do to me in the punishment room if I don’t have sex with her.” He explains frustrated. “Or what she can do to you if she wants to punish you.”

Castiel sighs. “You are right.” He looks at the door, hoping that nobody is listening to them. “We can need it.” He knows that Dean is right, and Castiel is almost sure that neither Jo nor Crowley will miss the case; they don’t need it after all. “Do you know how to sew wounds?” He wonders confused.

Dean nods. “I told you I was a problematic teenager.” He explains as he keeps picking more boxes to leave them on the floor. “Bobby taught me how to sew my wounds when I started to get a lot of them.”

“And I guess you used to steal things at high school.” He says sassily.

Dean laughs. “I was waiting until you said something like that.” Both of them smile. “Yeah, I stole a couple of things. Money, bags, a car—”

“A car?” Castiel asks shocked. His mouth is opened wide.

“Yeah.” Dean smirks. He is proud of stealing the car. “Some teacher was an asshole with me a tried to make my life impossible, so I stole his car and I left it on the dump. I was fourteen or so.” He remembers how angry the teacher came to class the next day and he stank. He never knew that Dean was the one who did it, although he suspected of him, but Dean didn’t leave any evidence.

Castiel opens his mouth without knowing what to say. He wasn’t expecting that. Dean is smirking because Castiel looks really shocked. “Are you serious?” Castiel manages to ask after a while. Dean nods. “Remind me not to mess up with you ever.”

Dean laughs. “I wouldn’t do anything bad to you Cas, you know it.” He says sweetly.

Castiel blushes. He knows it. He knows that Dean will never hurt him. Dean is the first person who has threated Castiel like a person, who has taken care of him when he needed it, who has made him feel happy and the first person Castiel has fallen in love with. Dean is safe, Dean means no pain, Dean is all the happiness and goodness that Castiel thought he would never be able to find.

He can try so hard not to love him, but he can’t. He loves that man too much, more than anyone or anything in this world. Even if Dean never feels the same, Castiel knows he will always feel all those feelings for Dean. He wants to have him in ways he never wanted anyone before, but if Dean doesn’t want him, it is okay, even if it hurts, but he can live with it, because Dean is his friend, and he is the only light in his darkness.

Castiel smiles happily and shyly, and he sees that Dean likes it. There are a few more boxes left and they will be done; then, they will put their boots on and they will have dinner. Dean doesn’t like that awful redundancy, but he has Cas with him, smiling like that, putting the colors in that gray house. He is becoming cheesier with the days, he knows it, but he doesn’t care as long as he doesn’t say those things out loud. Things as boring as cleaning can be funny with Cas, everything is better with Cas. If Sam was still alive, he would say that he should say all those things he feels for Cas, but Dean can’t, because everything and everyone he touches corrupts, and he doesn’t want to do that for Cas; he won’t forgive himself for that ever.


	15. Bird in a Cage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you so much for reading, for the kudos, for the comments, for the bookmarks and the subcriptions. You make me so happy with all your words and kudos and for just reading, seriously.
> 
>  **Note:** Next week I'm going to have an exam, which I'm going to fail because I already know that, anyway, I think I will able to post the next chapter on Thursday, but I don't know if it will be earlier or later than usually, sorry.

Dean hears Castiel’s steps when he arrives to the garage. He can’t help smiling. Fuck, he smiles like an idiot every time Castiel arrives; he has been doing that since the first week he knew Cas. He didn’t smile as big and bright as he does it now, but he smiled. Dean doesn’t want to be that obvious in front of Cas, but that fucking smile appears all the time, and Cas doesn’t seem to notice its meaning, he even smiles at Dean’s smile and Dean loves how fucking happy and handsome Castiel is when he smiles and— can his mind stop overthinking for once in a while?

“Time for dinner, Cas?” Dean asks with his bright smile.

Castiel smiles too. He adores when Dean smiles because he is there. “It is. Your stomach should know it.” He says sassily.  
Dean snorts a laugh. At first Castiel was all shy, but when he and Dean started to trust each other, both of them started to be sassy and sarcastic, something that they really like; they know they can say all those things and neither of them will get mad at it, instead, they will laugh or say something even sassier or more sarcastic, until they smile or they punch softly the other’s arms.

“Actually my stomach thought suppertime was an hour ago.” Dean says pouting in a funny way.

Castiel smiles brightly, showing those pretty crinkles in the corner of his eyes that Dean adores. “Only an hour?” Castiel wonders with one eyebrow arched.

Cas is a little sassy shit and Dean loves it. Cas is freaking awesome; there’s nothing about Cas that Dean hates.

Dean closes the bonnet and he looks at Cas in his usual goofy way. “You really want to win the sassy contest, huh?” Dean says with a smirk. Castiel rolls his eyes, but he is still smiling. Dean smiles wider and he goes to his toolbox, thinking that he looks like an idiot when he is with Cas; thankfully his friend doesn’t seem to notice it. Or maybe he thinks that Dean is always this stupid.

Suddenly, the sound of a far lightning breaks the silence and both of them turn their faces to look at the horizon. They didn’t see any lightning, but the sound was definitely from a thunder.

Dean approaches Cas, until he is standing next to him. “Are storms common here?” Dean asks.

“Not much.” Castiel answers. A white light draws the sky, lightening for some seconds they almost dark sky. Castiel starts to count in a low voice the seconds until the sound of the thunders comes. “Forty-seven.” He says. “It is quite far.” He looks at Dean, he notices he is a bit tense. “Are you okay?” He asks worried.

“Yeah, I don’t like storms. I’m not scared of them, but I don’t like them.” He says casually. He isn’t lying; while he is in a car or in a house during a storm, he is okay with it, but he isn’t very comfortable when thunders get really close and the imposing sound gets into the bones.

Another lightning appears and Castiel starts to count the seconds. “Fifty- nine. It is moving away.”

“Good.” Dean says relieved. He didn’t want to spend the night in that house with the sound of the thunders. He doesn’t need that. He approaches the garage entrance and he pulls down the door. “Ready for dinner?” He says enthusiastic.

Castiel smiles. “Not as much as you.”

Dean rolls his eyes and kicks his leg sweetly, maybe it is sweeter that it should, but Castiel likes it and he just laughs with that. The sound of Castiel’s laughter is one million times better than the sound of thunders. Actually it is better than any other sound.

Fuck, he is really into Cas, isn’t he? This never happened to Dean before. Dean has always been a guy who had casual sex all the time, except when he was with Lisa, but that relationship didn’t last long, and well, it wasn’t a relationship in the sense of the word. It was complicated. But the thing he has for Cas is stronger than anything Dean has experienced. This time, it isn’t about physical attraction, there’s something more behind it, and it scares the hell out of Dean. There are questions, fears and doubts about all of that. But he isn’t going to let them out. He is sure that Cas doesn’t want what Dean wants, and Dean knows that he corrupts everything he touches, he is poison.

Inadvertently, they arrive to the kitchen. Tonight there are chicken wings with a spinach salad. Why there has to be a lot of green foods? At least tonight there’s chicken as well.

“Your smirk faded away when you saw the spinaches.” Castiel comments as he serves himself some spinaches.

Dean makes a disgusted grimace. Cas knows him well. He takes an annoyed breath and he serves himself spinaches. Castiel stares at him with curiosity while he does that. Dean Winchester is eating rabbit food. Someone traveled through time and stepped on something he shouldn’t have stepped. If Sam was alive and he could see Dean eating rabbit food, he would think he was hallucinating.

But Dean is hungry, and if there isn’t anything else to eat, he will have to bite the bullet and deal with whatever food he has to eat, no matter how much he hates it. He knows that if he doesn’t eat whatever food is served on the table, he won’t have any other food.

“I don’t understand how you can like this.” Dean says with his mouth full.

Castiel frowns. “How many times do I have to say you not to talk with your mouth full?” He says irked.

Dean rolls his eyes and he swallows. “Do you realize that I never listen to you on that?”

Castiel can’t help a smile. “Maybe one day you will.”

Now Dean’s the one smiling. Maybe one day, after a lot of time living in this awful house, Dean will stop talking with his mouth full. Damn it, he is imagining his whole life in that house, being a slave, unable to be free again, unable to go back home… How did it happen?

Dean puts the cutlery on the table and he starts to breathe quite fast. Castiel notices it and his eyes are soon dropped on Dean, examining quickly Dean’s face.

“What’s wrong?” Castiel asks extremely worry. He kind of knows what it is happening. Dean is about to have a panic attack. And the kitchen isn’t the best place for it. There are too many eyes and too many people wanting to hurt Dean.

“Don’t worry.” Dean whispers with shaky breathing. He needs to calm down.

Castiel suffers seeing Dean like that. He wants to stand up and hug Dean. He wants to calm him with his arms, to give him all the warmth and comfort he needs. But Castiel can’t do that. He knows that if he did it, Alastair or Azazel would immediately call Jo and she would punish Dean and Cas.

“Dean.” Castiel says in a low whisper. Dean’s trembling eyes meet his. “It’s okay. I’m here.” There’s a lot of sweetness and warmth in his voice. It isn’t as good as hugging Dean, but it is the only thing he can do for Dean right now.

Dean forces a smile. He focuses on Cas grasping himself on Cas’ voice and words, and slowly, that panic starts to disappear and Dean’s breathing starts to be normal little by little. After some minutes, when Dean is feeling better, he rubs his face and then, he looks at Cas.

“Thanks.” Dean says timidly. Castiel nods. “I am drama queen.”

Castiel snorts a laugh. If Dean is joking, it means that he feels better. “Don’t worry Dean. I know what it is like.” Castiel says with sympathy.

They kept eating in a comfortable silence. Castiel moves his eyes to Dean once in a while, to ensure that he is doing okay. He worries too much about him, he knows it, but he doesn’t want anything bad happening to him.

Some minutes later, the kitchen falls in complete silence, which means that Jo is there. A creep runs Dean and Castiel. If Jo appears in the kitchen, it isn’t something good. And Dean and Castiel know what it must be.

“When you finish eating, Dean,” Jo starts to say with her bossy voice. “I want you in my bedroom.”

Jo leaves before Dean can say anything and soon the kitchen is filled with the usual sounds of people talking and eating. But Castiel and Dean are in silence, looking at each other.

“Holy shit, I don’t want to.” Dean says angry.

“I know.” Castiel says. He knows what it always comes after Dean is in Jo’s room. Dean will come to the bedroom with wounds. And if Jo gets creative, she can do any kind of monstrosity to Dean and hurt him in a lot of horrible ways.

Dean sighs. “What if I don’t go?” He asks in a proponent way.

“Do you really want to know the answer to that?” He says angrily. He understands that Dean doesn’t want to go to Jo’s bedroom, he understands it too well, but Dean sometimes is too reckless and the last thing Dean needs is to be beaten to almost death.

Dean rubs his face in a frustrated way. “One way or another I’m gonna end up hit by her.”

Castiel exhales sharply. “You don’t get it, do you?” He leans his elbows on the table and he bends his thorax, so he is closer to Dean. He doesn’t want anybody else to hear them. “I know you are going to be punished, but if you piss her off more, she will punish you in a harder way, and trust me, you don’t want to know that way.”

There’s fear in Castiel’s eyes. Dean knows that Castiel doesn’t want him to get hurt. Dean sighs. “What else can she take away from me?” With that, Castiel brings his sight down in a devastated way and Dean looks away.

“Why do you have to be so reckless?” He asks weakly, staring back at Dean, who shrugs. “You care so little about yourself.”

Dean stares him in an odd way. There isn’t rage; it is more like devastation and even a bit of shame. “I’m not worth.”

Castiel slams the table angrily and everybody looks at him. He is furious about that. Dean hates himself too much. It shouldn’t be like that. Dean is the only worth person Castiel has ever known, and he can’t stand the idea of Dean not realizing it. They had this conversation before, but Dean is always saying that he isn’t worth, it doesn’t matter how many times Castiel tells him otherwise.

There is a huge silence, he knows that everybody is looking at him, but he doesn’t give a damn; he only cares about Dean, who is looking at him in a confused way, but the devastating sight is still there.

When the other slaves get tired of staring at both of them, giving up on trying to understand what’s going on between the two of them, and they start talking again, Castiel speaks. “You are worth, Dean, more than you think.”

“That’s bullshit, Cas.” Dean says annoyed.

“Don’t make me slam the table again.” He can feel the rage and frustration running in his blood.

“Cas, just let it go.” He doesn’t want to talk about it anymore.

Castiel sighs. Dean is extremely stubborn and no matter what Castiel says, Dean isn’t going to change his opinion of himself. So Castiel shuts up and keeps eating, without looking at Dean.

“Look, Cas—” Dean starts as he clears his throat. Castiel keeps staring at his food. Dean takes a deep breath. “I—” He doesn’t even know what to say and seeing that Cas isn’t looking at him, makes it harder. “Look at me, please.”

Castiel moves his eyes reluctantly to meet Dean’s and Dean feels better when those eyes are focused on his, even if they are angry.

“I gotta fight, Cas.” Dean starts. “I know it won’t do anything, but—” He sighs. “It makes me feel less trapped, less useless.”

Castiel understands that feeling; he lost it a long time ago, but he knows what Dean means. “I know Dean.” Castiel says with a sharp voice. “But you are only going to end up hurt in a terrible way.”

“I am a slow learner.” He smirks. Castiel rolls his eyes and shakes his head in a done way. “You worry too much about me. I’ve told you that a thousand of times.” He says with a lovely voice, the one that melts Castiel, who blushes a little bit and he looks down. “I made you blush.” Dean murmurs happily.

“Shut up.” He hates how he can’t control himself when he is with Dean.

“Damn, being blushed and angry really looks good on you.” He flirts. He knows he is freaking obvious, but he wants Cas’ anger to disappear.

Castiel glares him and his blush is more noticeable than before. “You are an assbutt.” He says kicking Dean’s leg under the table.

“Yeah, I am.” He smiles shyly.

Finally, Castiel smiles. It isn’t a big one, it is almost unnoticeable, but it is a pretty one though. It doesn’t matter what they do, they always end up smiling when they are together. Dean makes him smile even when Castiel isn’t sure if he is able to smile.

Sometimes Castiel doesn’t fully understand Dean. He is complicated in some aspects. Maybe Dean doesn’t fully understand Castiel either, but Castiel doesn’t like how reckless Dean is most of the time. But Dean is a fighter, he will always be. Castiel used to be a fighter a long time ago too, but pain and awful experiences burnt the fighter he carried inside himself.

They end up eating and they stand up. Dean goes with Castiel, ignoring that Jo told him to go to her bedroom. Castiel has a bad feeling about what Dean is doing, but he doesn’t say anything.

Before they are about to go downstairs, where the slave’s bedrooms are, Jo appears behind them and she talks. “Where are you going, Dean?” Her tone is fierce and pissed.

Castiel looks at Dean with eyes full of fear. Jo is pissed off, it isn’t a good signal.

Dean turns around to face her and Castiel does the same. “To my bedroom.” Dean answers.

There’s fury in Jo’s eyes. “I told you to go to my bedroom.” She doesn’t raise her voice, but her tune is powerful.

“I don’t want to.” He says defiant. He isn’t afraid of her. Dean doesn’t know right now if he is being brave or stupid. That’s the story of his life.

Jo approaches slowly Dean and Castiel and she stands in front of Dean, as if she wanted to burn Dean alive. Castiel knows that angry look. That’s the look the Master gave him every time Castiel didn’t do what he was told.

“You don’t have the right to do what you want to.” She whispers.

Dean is about to say something, but Jo uses the stun gun and Dean lets out a scream before he passes out.

“Dean!” Castiel yells as he starts to kneel to hold Dean, but Jo stops him by putting the stun gun under his chin, without activating it.

“Don’t touch him.” She says angrily. “If you touch him, I will hurt him more than ever.” She warms. Castiel opens his eyes widely and he knows that his eyes and his face are showing how furious he is right now. “You know I will do it, Castiel.”

Castiel wants to punch her, to hurt her, but he knows that she isn’t bluffing. He wants to take Dean to the bedroom, to keep him safe. He can’t do any of that, but he is glaring her more than ever and Jo is starting to feel intimidated by it. She has never seen Castiel like this ever.

“Don’t look at me like that, Castiel.” Jo says a bit nervous, although she hides it well. “If you move away, I promise I won’t hurt him more than usually.”

Castiel doesn’t move. Dean is going to be hurt anyways. He doesn’t trust Jo.

“If you don’t move I will hurt him, I will tear his skin off and I will make you watch.” She warns again, but now, there’s joy in her voice.

A shiver runs Castiel’s body. He knows that can be done, he knows she can do it and she won’t tremble. No, he can’t let her do that pain to Dean, it would hurt Dean a lot and Castiel won’t be able to heal him. He hasn’t got any other choice. He won’t be the responsible of Dean’s pain. Dean is going to suffer tonight, and Castiel can’t do anything to avoid it.

He moves away slowly, hating himself for not being able to do anything for Dean. He rises slowly, without breaking the eye contact with Jo; he only can intimidate her with his furious sight. He is fisting his hands really hard; if his nails were longer, his palms will be already bleeding. He is trying to hold the frustration and the anger so hard, the last thing he needs is to punch her; that would have terrible consequences on Dean.

“Azazel! Alastair!” Jo yells loud and stepping away. Soon those slaves arrive and they look confused at Castiel and then, both of them smirk when they see Dean lying on the floor unconscious. “Take Dean to my bedroom.” She orders.

They obey her and they carry Dean. Castiel follows Dean with his sight, feeling how his heart beats faster and his blood starts to feel hotter because of the rage and frustration. Then, he looks back at Jo.

“Go to your room now, or I will have to experiment with him some new punishment methods.” Jo says.

Castiel would have given anything to hit her, to make her shut, but she has the stun gun, she is the one who can punish, Castiel is disadvantaged. He wants to go to her bedroom and take Dean with him. But he can’t. And he hates that impotence so much.  
He just turns around and goes to his bedroom, hoping that Dean won’t get too hurt. He is a fool. Dean is going to suffer a lot tonight. And if he does anything, Dean will suffer, and that fear is killing Castiel.

 

When Dean opens his eyes, his sight is blurry and his head hurts. He has been over that so many times, but he can’t get used to it. He will never be used to waking up tied up to Jo’s bed, being naked and feeling like shit.

He blinks for a couple of times until his eyes seem to work like usually. Jo is sitting on the edge of the bed, reading a book. She is only wearing her underwear, some expensive lace lingerie. When she feels Dean moving, she looks away from her book and she throws it away, focusing on Dean, smiling with that victorious way of hers.

“Lately you spend a lot of time unconscious when I shock you.” Jo starts to say as she places herself above Dean, who shakes his body in a failed attempt to get her off.

She bends slowly, until her face is so close to Dean that they can see each other’s reflection in their eyes. Like always, she is holding Dean’s face, so he won’t move it and she is clawing her nails in Dean’s cheeks.

“You are a really bad, bad, bad boy, Dean.” She says with a cloying and creepy voice. Dean hates that voice. She tries to look sexy or something, but she fails at it. “When will you understand that you have to obey me?”

Dean grunts. “I don’t have to, bitch.”

She digs her nails more in Dean’s cheek, starting to be painful. Dean knows that sooner or later, his cheeks will start to bleed.

“You are mine, Dean.” She says and she leans forward to kiss him, but Dean moves his head and he bites her cheek fiercely, leaving the mark of his teeth on her cheek.

Jo screams of pain and she pulls away quickly. She places her hand in the bite and when she pulls her hand away to look at it, she sees blood. Dean managed to make her bleed a bit. She looks horrified at the small amount of blood on his hand.

“I’m not yours!” Dean yells angrily. “I will never be yours!” He yells again. He sounds strong and pissed off.

Jo opens the bedside table’s drawer and she picks a brass knuckles and she starts to punch Dean with it. Jo is quite strong, but with the brass knuckles, the punches hurt even more.

“You are mine Dean!” She says as she keeps punching Dean in the face. “You are my bird, and I’ve got you in a cage! You will always be mine! There’s no way out of here! This is your destiny! This is your present and your future! You are my slave! And you can’t do anything against it! You are mine!” She yells as she keeps punching him. Dean is feeling how some of his bones break, how his skin breaks, how the blood starts to run down his face, how every punch hurts more and more and how the sound of the punches and broken bones sound louder and louder. “And you will never be free!”

She keeps punching him. Dean can’t do anything, he is well tied up, the only thing he can do is to shake his body, but he is too tired for that. The pain is taking over his body. Those words have hurt him too. He will never be free again, he will spend the rest of his life rotting in that house, he will have to go through this until he dies. 

He feels the heat rising in his head, how the pain is starting to be unbearable, how everything seems to be breaking in him, how every punch keeps sounding louder, how some thunders sound in the distance, until everything goes dark and quiet, until he surrenders to the pain.

 

Castiel is nervous, really nervous. He can’t sit quietly on Dean’s bed, waiting for him; he can’t. Castiel knows that Dean must be being punished and Castiel hates that. He hates knowing that Dean is suffering and he hates being trapped in their bedroom, unable to help Dean.

Frustration and nervousness are filling Castiel’s body, growing more as minutes pass. He walks from one bed to another, looking at the clock, hoping that Dean is okay, although he knows his friend isn’t okay at all.

Castiel takes a frustrated breath. He is walking really fast, he has lost count on how many times he has walked the same path; he guesses it is near a hundred, or maybe it is more, he isn’t sure at all. All his thoughts are about Dean and what Jo might be doing to him. After what she said… Picturing Jo touching Dean, wanting to have sex with him, kissing him, makes Castiel feel sick; his stomach feels an awful ache with that. And when he thinks about Jo, hurting Dean, whipping him, he can feel Dean’s pain. He wants Dean back in the bedroom now and not so hurt.

The door opens and Castiel stops walking and his heart stops. A shiver runs his body. Azazel and Alastair are carrying Dean, who is unconscious, with his face painted in different shades of red. Castiel looks furious at Azazel and Alastair and Castiel clenches his fists.

“What have you done to Dean?” Castiel asks with rage. He can feel the anger running in his blood.

Azazel smirks in his creepy way, but he is a bit scared of Castiel, his eyes show it but he wants to remain as calm as possible, as if he wasn’t daunted. “We didn’t do anything at all.” He starts to say. Alastair nods. “Miss Harvelle did all of this to your precious Dean.”

Castiel glares them. Instead of the calm sea in his eyes, now there is a blue fire of rage. Azazel and Alastair look a bit nervous; seeing Castiel like that is new to them and also scary.

“Here you have it.” Alastair says and he and Azazel drop Dean to the floor without any care at all.

Castiel is furious, so he starts to walk towards them, willing to hurt them, but Azazel and Alastair get out of the bedroom fast and they close the door. Castiel tries to open it, but he can’t; he hits it frustrated and the he takes a deep angry breath. He locks the door and he kneels next to Dean, who is lying face down. Castiel rolls him, so Dean is now lying with his back on the floor.

There are a few wounds in Dean’s face, they are scattered in one cheek, the nose’s bridge, his forehead and his temple. His nose is bleeding and the blood has fallen down to the chin. His cheeks and one of his eyes are swollen. The swollen eye will be a black eye tomorrow, Castiel knows it. Dean has been punched until he was unconscious. It breaks Castiel’s heart to see how damaged Dean is right now. He cups Dean’s face and he strokes it gently.

“Cas?” Dean asks breathy and trying to open his eyes. The swollen one can’t be opened too much.

“Yes Dean, it’s me.” Castiel says breathing fast. With his thumbs he strokes Dean’s cheeks.

Dean opens his eyes as much as he can. Everything is blurry. “Yeah, it’s you. I know those beautiful eyes.” He makes a tiny smile. Cas is there, stroking his face and despite of the pain, Dean feels better, because Cas is there with him.

Castiel blushes a little bit with Dean’s comment. “Dean—” He starts to say. He hates seeing how much pain Dean is feeling. Castiel would have loved to help him, to do something, but he couldn’t.

“I look hideous, I know.” He jokes with a painful voice, but he is smiling.

Castiel snorts a sort of a laugh. “You are unbelievable.” He sighs. He pulls away his hands and Dean hates the loss of Castiel’s warmth. “Let’s lay you on the bed and I will heal you.”

Dean nods. Castiel grabs him and helps Dean to stand up slowly. He places Dean’s arm around his shoulders and he grips Dean’s waist tightly. The bed is close, but Castiel knows Dean feels tired and weak and he doesn’t want Dean to fall down.

When Dean lies down, he makes a grunt and Castiel cups his face again. Dean closes his eyes and he focuses on Castiel’s touch and warmth in his face. It feels really good. Castiel’s hands are gentle and nice, they give all that care and sweetness that Dean needs right now.

Dean opens his eyes slowly. Castiel is sat on the bed, next to his body. He is looking at Dean worriedly but sweetly and Dean can’t help looking at Cas with love.

“What would I do without you?” Dean asks in a low voice.

Castiel smiles shyly. Dean places one of his hands on one of Castiel’s and he strokes it gently. There’s a tingling in Castiel’s body, followed by a sudden warmth. Dean is caressing his hand, it is a small touch, but it is extremely nice. He can’t help blushing and smiling.

“I should start cleaning you and healing you.” Castiel murmurs. He doesn’t want to let go that touch and to stop cupping Dean’s face, but he has to heal Dean soon.

Dean nods and he pulls his hand away. Castiel moves fast to the bathroom to wet the cloth and he is back to Dean’s bed soon. He sits again and he starts to clean the wounds; they aren’t deep, bet they are pretty big. Dean grunts every time the cloth touches a wound.

“What did that monster do to you?” Castiel asks as he cleans.

Dean sighs and he looks at Castiel’s eyes, which are a bit glassy. “She punched me ‘til I passed out with brass knuckles.” He explains.

“Why?”

Dean bites his lower lip. “I bit her cheek.”

Castiel stops cleaning and he looks at Dean surprised. “You bit her?”

“Yeah.” He sighs. “She was going to kiss me and I hate when she kisses me. It feels wrong and gross, so I bit her to avoid being kissed.” He looks at Castiel’s eyes. He knows that Cas doesn’t approve when he does those reckless things because Cas doesn’t want him to be punished.

Castiel blinks perplexed and he keeps cleaning the wounds. “You are insane.” He finally says. Dean is about to say something but Cas interrupts him. “But I understand why you did it.” He stares at Dean’s eyes. “Although you should have done something that hadn’t bothered Jo so much; you wouldn’t have been injured like this.”

“I know, but—” He sighs. “Kissing her feels terrible Cas, I hate it.”

“Are always kisses with anyone that bad?”

Dean can’t help a smile. “Kisses can be great if you kiss someone who wants to kiss you too. Not when they are forced.” He looks away from Castiel’s eyes to place his sight in his lips. “You should taste a kiss someday.” His voice is thick and tired; he is extremely exhausted, but talking with Cas feels good.

Castiel makes a dry laugh. “I don’t know who I would kiss.” He sighs. He knows who he wants to kiss, but he knows Dean won’t want to kiss him.

Castiel cleans the blood in Dean’s lips. If he could, he would remove the blood with his own lips, touching gently and sweetly Dean’s lips, feeling them against his. He has to stop imagining things like that; it doesn’t do anything good to him.

Dean grunts. The cloth in his lips hurts him. Castiel removes the cloth and he looks at the lips.

“You have a small wound in your lips.” Castiel says as he touches Dean’s lips with his finger.

Dean opens his eyes widely. He has to fight the urge of kissing Cas’ finger. They are touching softly his lips and it feels really good, better than he expected. Castiel doesn’t realize how that touch makes Dean feel. His eyes meet Dean’s and he realizes he has been touching Dean’s lips for too long. He blushes and he pulls his fingers away and he cleans carefully Dean’s lips.  
Soon, Castiel finishes cleaning all the wounds and he starts to apply the antiseptic in all the wounds. Dean thanks the cool feeling of the jelly; it softens the pain.

Castiel cleans his hands and he looks at the nose. He starts to touch it and Dean grunts. “I knew it.” Castiel says frowning. “It is broken.”

“Fuck.” Dean says annoyed. Castiel gets up and Dean grabs softly his wrist. Castiel looks confused at Dean’s hand at first and then he looks at Dean’s eyes. Dean blushes and he pulls his hand away. “Sorry.” He apologizes ashamed. He turns his face to stare at the wall.

Castiel tilts his head and he sits down again. “What’s wrong?”

Dean sighs. “I—” He swallows and he looks at his friend’s eyes. “Nothing.” He finally says. He grabbed Castiel’s wrist because he didn’t want to let him go. He knows Cas isn’t going to leave him, but he did it unconsciously.

Cas is looking at him with a frown; he knows something’s wrong with Dean. “What is it, Dean?”

“Don’t leave me.” Dean says needy. He sounds pathetic and broken, he knows it, but he needs Cas right now to take the pain away.

The blue eyes soften and Castiel caresses Dean’s face. In normal conditions, those strokes wouldn’t be appropriate, but Cas knows that Dean needs to feel something sweet and gentle. Castiel needed it every time he was raped and punished, he needed something that made him feel good, something that didn’t hurt him; but he didn’t have it. He knows what that pain and loneliness feel like, how they can break you; he doesn’t want any of that for Dean.

“I will never leave you, Dean.” Castiel smiles sweetly and Dean’s frightened eyes soften. They even get glassy. “I have to put your nose back in its place.” He starts to explain after a while. “I’m going to get you a belt so you can bit it because it is going to hurt.”

Dean nods. “Okay.”

Castiel stands up and searches in the wardrobe for a belt. When he finds it, he picks it and goes back to Dean’s bed. He gives Dean the belt and he bites it.

“At three, I will place the nose in its right place.” Castiel warns. Dean nods. “Okay.” He sighs. “One…” And quickly he puts Dean’s nose where it should be. There is a sound bones cracking and Dean grunts loud and painfully.

“You said at three!” Dean complains grunting.

“It is better to do it when you aren’t expecting it.” He explains. He removes the belt from Dean’s mouth. “You are in less tension.”

Dean’s eyes are shut, he is squeezing them. He is also panting. After some seconds, he feels Castiel’s fingers running through his hair. Dean calms slowly with that touch. Cas is doing it because he knows Dean needs it, there isn’t anything more behind those touches, but they feel awesome.

“Take it easy Dean.” Castiel says with a lovely voice. “I’m here.”

Dean opens his eyes slowly and he smiles Cas. “Thanks.” Castiel smiles shyly and he nods. “Would it be too much to ask for a glass of water?” Dean asks.

“Not at all.” Castiel smiles and he goes to the bathroom. When he has the glass of water, he goes back to Dean’s bed and he sees Dean is sitting on the edge of it. “You should remain lying down.” He frowns as he gives Dean the water.

“I’m tired of lying down.” He says before drinking. Castiel sits next to him, leaving a few inches in between; he can feel Dean’s knee touching his. “Thanks for the water.”

“You are welcome.” He smiles softly. Dean looks at him in a tender way. “I should put you a band aid on your nose.” Castiel observes. He would have put a band, but it would be something quite annoying for Dean. “But I don’t have any.” He pouts frustrated.

“I think I’ve got one in my wallet.” Dean murmurs looking down the bed. “It is in my bag.”

Castiel kneels on the floor and he grabs Dean’s bag, which is under Dean’s bed. Then he sits on the bed and he places the bag on his knees. “Didn’t they take your wallet away?” He asks perplexed as Dean searches for his wallet.

Dean shakes his head. “They took my phone, my money and anything with my name on it.” He explains. He finds his wallet and he opens it. “I always carried band aids with me, since I was a little kid. In case that Sammy got hurt.” He says sad. He hands Castiel the band aid and he sticks it in Dean’s nose.

“Done.”

“Thanks.” He looks down at the wallet and he pulls up one photo; he and Sam are in there. It is from one trip they did to the Grand Canyon one year ago. He sighs.

“Is that Sam?” Castiel asks. Dean nods. “He is giant.”

Dean snorts a laugh. “Yeah, he was it.” He takes a deep breath. Suddenly, Castiel wraps him in his arms and Dean can’t help a sob. He misses Sam so fucking much. It isn’t fair that he died. “Why did he have to die, Cas? Why?” Tears are falling down.

“Because people in this country hate people like Sam or you. You two are too good, too extraordinary for here.” Castiel says.

Dean leans his head in Castiel’s shoulder and he tightens one of Castiel’s arm. He welcomes the comfort of Castiel’s arms. He knows Cas wants him to feel better and Dean thanks it so fucking much. It is been a terrible night. First the small panic attack, Jo’s punishment and now memories of Sam. Dean can’t stop crying and he hates it. He hates being this broken, this vulnerable, this exposed, but he can’t be strong right now. He is falling apart and he can’t do anything to stop it.

Castiel tightens Dean more against him, caressing with his hands Dean’s back. His poor Dean; tonight has been really hard for him. He is always strong, but once in a while, Dean breaks down because he can’t keep going anymore.

Dean keeps crying and sobbing, unable to stop, sinking himself in the nice feeling of Castiel hugging him and calming him. He doesn’t realize when his whole body starts to feel heavy, his crying and sobbing start to fade away little by little and he falls asleep in Castiel’s arms.

Castiel looks at Dean, who is sleeping soundly in his arms. “My poor Dean.” Castiel whispers. He caresses Dean’s hair gently and then, he pulls Dean away from his arms as slowly as possible; he doesn’t want Dean to wake up.

He takes Dean’s boots off and he gets Dean in his bed, being too careful to not do a single sound or any movement that will wake him up. Dean needs to rest.

When Dean is in the bed, Castiel covers him and caresses his face again. “Sweet dreams Dean.” Castiel says with love. “Sleep well, you deserve it.”

 

When Dean wakes up it is because of the alarm clock. He is in his bed, covered perfectly without his boots on and really warm. His face hurts, but not as much as last night. Dean turns his face to see Cas turning off the alarm clock.

“Good morning, Dean.” Castiel says approaching Dean’s bed.

“Good morning Cas.” Dean mumbles rubbing his face. “You got me in bed last night, right?”

Castiel nods. “You fell asleep. You were really tired, so I got you in bed so you could rest.”

Dean blushes. He regrets not being able to feel Cas while he got him in bed. “Thanks for that.” He removes the quilt and the sheet. He sits on the border of the bed. He rubs his face again, which hurts a little in some parts.

“How are you feeling?” His voice is filled with worry.

“Some wounds hurt, but that’s all.” He answers sighing. He stands up, being really close to Cas. Lately, personal space isn’t something really important to them. “Listen, Cas.” He starts to say. He clears his throat and then, he looks at Castiel’s expectant eyes. “I’m sorry.”

Castiel frowns confused. “Sorry for what?”

Dean pinches the bridge of his nose and he feels a small prick; he forgot about that small wound. He just squeezes his nose in a disturbed way before he pulls his hand away. “Last night I was—” He takes a deep breath and he looks at the ceiling. “Y’know, after what happened during suppertime, Jo’s beating, the things she told me—”

“What did she tell you?” Cas interrupts. He is confused but also scared.

Dean looks down. “Things I didn’t want to hear or think about.” His eyes meet Castiel’s. “Mostly about that I will spend my whole life as a slave.” Castiel’s expression is a sad one and Dean makes an annoyed grin. “I’m fine. Don’t worry.” Castiel opens his mouth to say something, but Dean raises his hand. “It’s nothing Cas. Just let me finish.” He clears his throat again. Cas nods. “After all of that, I was really sensitive and I— I—” He takes a deep breath. Fuck, talking about things like that it is really difficult. “When I saw Sam’s photo—”

“Dean.” Castiel interrupts before Dean can go on. “I know. You don’t have to apologize for anything.” He doesn’t understand why Dean wants to apologize. After all that pain he suffered last night, physically and mentally, Dean had to break down. “It is understandable.”

Dean smiles shyly. “Yeah— well—” He rubs the back of his neck awkwardly. “Thanks a lot for everything.” He finally says looking honestly at Castiel’s eyes.

Cas blushes lightly. “You would have done the same.”

“Of course.” His smile is big and bright. “But thank you, Cas.” He approaches him and he kisses his cheek.

Castiel opens his eyes widely. Dean is kissing his cheek and Castiel is feeling an overwhelming warmth that he never felt before. He enjoys the touch of Dean’s lips in his cheek for the small amount of time that it last. He can’t believe this is happening right now. It is only a kiss in his cheek, but Castiel feels extremely good.

When Dean pulls away, both are really blushed.

“I don’t know if that was appropriated.” Dean says confused.

“I’m not an expert in appropriated social things.” Castiel says with a smile. He should hide that smile, but he can’t, because Dean kissed his cheek to thank him everything and it feel great and warm and now Castiel has a bloom of feelings in his chest that feel extremely good. He knows it was a friendly kiss, nothing else, but he would rather think about that later; now he wants to enjoy all those feelings.

Dean looks down and he smiles happily. He raises his eyebrows for a moment. Cas is really awkward, but sometimes Dean is the real awkward one. He sinks his sight in the deep ocean of Castiel’s eyes. “You should take your shower before I start doing something like that again.” He jokes.

Castiel smiles and he rolls his eyes. “It is kind of strange to see you this— affective.” He narrows his eyes.

Dean can’t tell how much he adores how cute Cas looks when he looks confused. He snorts a laugh. “Must be because I need you.” His heart skips a beat. Fuck. He said that out loud. A kiss in the cheek wasn’t enough to start the morning. Right now, Dean is insulting himself with every single swear he knows.

The look in Castiel’s eyes is a mix of shock, disbelief, surprise and even hope. Dean isn’t blushed, why the hell isn’t he blushed? Castiel’s sight is now a mix of confusion and thousands of things and feelings, each one with a different name, and Dean has told him that he needs him. He isn’t nervous or blushed, he just regrets saying it out loud.

“What did you say?” Castiel asks confused. There’s a strange pressure in his chest that is tightening him more and more as time passes.

Maybe Dean should tell him everything; that he is in lo— No, he can’t tell Cas that. Dean is poison; everyone who touches him ends up fucked up. Cas doesn’t deserve him; Dean isn’t good enough for Cas; he will never be. He should just tell Cas part of the truth.

“I need you.” Dean says. Surprisingly he is calmer than he should. He should be freaking out or something, but he isn’t. It might be because he is letting out a small part of everything he wants to tell Cas.

Castiel looks at him perplexed as if he didn’t fully understand why Dean needs him.

“I know it sounds weird.” Dean goes on. “But it is the truth. If it weren’t for you, I would have gone mad.” Words are coming easier as he talks and a strange warmth is taking over his chest. “You make me happy Cas, really happy. You make me smile even when I can’t. Fuck. That sounds freaking cheesy.” Dean rubs his face and he sees Castiel’s shy smile. “Yeah, I need you.” He stares at Castiel, who has a pretty smile on his face.

Definitely, that’s the most beautiful thing someone has told Castiel. “Thank you Dean. For everything.”

Dean smiles. Things went better that he expected. “Sorry for the awkwardness.”

Castiel would love to kiss Dean right now and tell him that it wasn’t awkward, it was the best thing someone has told him, but he can’t do it. Dean has said all of that as a friend, not as anything else. But despite of it, Castiel is happy with Dean’s words.

“I’m not going to be the only one who makes awkward things.” Cas says sassily; he knows Dean will relax with that small joke.

Dean laughs loudly. “Shut up and take your shower.”

Castiel smiles and he goes to the bathroom after picking some clean clothes. When he closes the bathroom door, he rests his back in it and he touches his chest, right where his heart is. It is beating really fast. He is smiling big and happily, he can’t remove that smile from his face. Dean kissed his cheek and he told him he needs him. Dean needs Cas. Dean needs him; he can’t still believe it.

His chest is moving quite fast because of this shaky breath, there’s a comfortable warmth running his body, he feels pretty good; better than ever.

He moves his hand from his chest to his cheek, the one that Dean kissed. He can still feel the ghost of Dean’s lips. He felt so alive with that kiss. He felt loved, even if Dean doesn’t love him. Castiel was never kissed with that tender before and when Dean did it, all his feelings for Dean became stronger. Damn it, he is deeply in love with Dean, who just wants him as a friend.  
But Dean needs him and Castiel is so happy to know that.


	16. Cold

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally I decided to update sooner than my usual hour.  
> Anyway, thanks for reading, for the kudos, for the comments, for the bookmarks and the subscriptions. Thank you so much.

During the following days, every single slave, when they saw Dean with all his face swollen, with scars, with his black eye and with his wounds, they smirked. All of them were happy to see that Dean took a beating. But those smirks didn’t last long, luckily; when Castiel and Dean glared them, all those smirks faded away. The other slaves are starting to fear them a little bit, but they are still protected by Jo. While those slaves didn’t do anything at all, Jo would protect them. Castiel and Dean are the rebels, and Jo hated that. The other slaves aren’t stupid; they know that Jo doesn’t like them, she keeps them because they are good on their tasks, not for anything else, and if Castiel and Dean do anything bad, any of those slaves will talk to her and she will punish them.

But it is always like that. The other slaves are like ravens, craving for death meat, they will have a fest with whatever they can. Castiel and Dean aren’t like them; they aren’t as obedient and as creeping as them. Also, Dean and Castiel are stronger and they have each other. And that’s a great advantage.

Dean and Castiel are in their bedroom. It isn’t late night, they finished their dinners some minutes ago and now Castiel, like these couple of last nights, is going to check Dean’s wounds.

Dean is sitting in his bed’s border; Castiel is it too. Sitting next to Dean; facing him. Most of Dean’s wounds are completely healed, but there are a few ones, like the one in his right cheek and the one in his forehead, that aren’t completely healed.

“I’m sorry for making you waste all your antiseptic.” Dean says ashamed while Castiel puts a little of his homemade antiseptic in Dean’s cheek. It is a place too exposed and he doesn’t want it to be infected.

“Don’t be stupid, Dean.” Castiel says a bit annoyed. “You need it. If I run out of it, I can make more. There are plenty of the plants and herbs I use to make it in the garden.” He explains. He cleans his fingers. “I don’t have to worry about it; it isn’t important.” His eyes meet Dean’s. “You are important.”

Dean blushes. He isn’t used to how much Cas cares about him yet. He smiles shyly. It feels good to feel cared like that. It feels fucking awesome.

Castiel starts to put a band aid in the wound. He is really delicate with Dean, as if he was afraid of hurting him. But that’s stupid; Dean knows Castiel will never hurt him. There is goodness in every single small cell of Castiel.

Dean smiles. He can’t deny that he loves when Cas is so close to him like that. It sounds selfish, but he loves when Cas shows how much he cares for him. Dean wonders if Cas loves when Dean shows how much he cares about Cas. He hopes that the answer to that is a yes.

Damn it, he is too cheesy and sappy. At least Castiel can’t hear his thoughts. At least Dean’s cakehole isn’t letting out any of that now, because sometimes he can’t control it and he says things he shouldn’t say. He should put some tape in his stupid mouth to avoid saying awkward things.

But now, he is just looking at Cas, who is really cute with that light brown sweater. Dean would kiss him right now without a doubt. His lips are so close to his; Dean can’t take his eyes away. He wants to show Castiel what a kiss feels like, to teach him how to kiss. Fuck. Why those thoughts keep appearing? He has to stop. Cas doesn’t want him. Cas doesn’t deserve him. He needs to stop imagining and wanting things he can’t have.

“You cicatrize pretty well.” Castiel murmurs amused.

Dean kicks all those previous thoughts, hoping they go to the furthest corner of his mind. “Really?” Dean wonders.

“Yes, you do. You cicatrize fast and well.”

Dean shrugs. “It isn’t something I’ve thought about it before.”

Castiel smiles. He has finished with the two wounds, but he still looks at Dean’s face to see if there’s anything left. “How’s your eye going?” He wonders pointing what it used to be a black eye.

“Good. It wasn’t the first time I’ve got a black eye.” He laughs.

“I know about you bad boy’s past.” Castiel laughs happily. Dean laughs louder. Damn it, he loves Castiel’s laughter too much; it warms his heart in an awesome way.

Suddenly, Castiel cups Dean’s face with one of his hands. With his fingers, he strokes the corner of Dean’s eye, the ex-black eye. He knows this goes beyond personal space, but he wants to feel Dean’s face again, to feel it right, not like he felt it when Dean arrived with all his face destroyed with wounds, broken bones and blood.

Dean opens his eyes widely and he parts his lips. He doesn’t know why Castiel is doing that, but he doesn’t complain. He loves when Castiel cups his face. When Castiel did it a couple of nights ago, when Dean was all hurt, it feel great, but know it feels even better, because there isn’t any pain, there’s only Castiel’s warm touch.

“It’s great to see you good again.” Castiel smiles sweetly, enjoying the way Dean is looking at him. He doesn’t know what that look means, but he loves it. “And it is great to see your green eyes as beautiful as always.” He adds as he moves sweetly his thumb, stroking the corner of Dean’s eye.

This feels like a dream or something. Dean can’t react, he can’t stop staring at Castiel’s eyes, he can’t pull away from Castiel’s hand, he can’t say a single word. It feels too damn good… But after some seconds, Castiel stands up to leave the bands and the antiseptic in the bathroom. Dean hates the loss, waking up for that wonderful, but real, dream.

In moments like this, he would love to call Sam and ask him several things, like what does Cas mean with that? What should Dean do? He is sure that Sam would tell him to talk to Cas, but that’s a bad idea. Dean sucks at talking. And what if Cas doesn’t feel any of what Dean feels? He is scared about that. Sam would tell him to nut up, but things are complicated. Cas had a terrible past, he doesn’t need Dean to screw him up. Too bad Sam isn’t alive…

Dean starts to take his boots off when Castiel leaves the bathroom. He switches off the bathroom’s light and he looks at Dean. “Are you going to read tonight?” Castiel asks.

Dean shakes his head. “No. I’m a bit tired tonight. But you can read if you want to.” He answers as he takes off the other boot.

“No. You are going to sleep. I don’t want to disturb your sleeping with the light on.” He is taking his boots off too.

“Cas, you can read. I don’t mind the light.” He stands up to take off his jeans. Castiel tries to look at his feet, focusing of his socks. He finds attractive the way Dean takes his clothes off. Dean has too much skin and his eyes always follow that skin, wondering how it must feel to touch Dean’s skin.

Castiel is taking off his sweater and now Dean is the one who has to focus of something different, trying to ignore that skin on Cas’ hips that gets revealed. They undress every single night, he should be used to it, but Cas looks hot when he takes his clothes off. Dean wants to take him off the clothes, to kiss every single part of skin that the removed clothe leaves. What did he tell himself about thinking those things?

“Lights on disturb sleeping.” He says. Dean can’t help smiling when he sees Castiel’s messy hair, and he smiles bigger when Castiel stirs it, trying to unravel it, but he messes it more. He is too freaking cute with messy hair. “Besides, we have a lot of nights. We can read any other night.”

Castiel starts to take off his pants and Dean takes off his jacket and plaid shirt. Today was a cold day, so they had to wear warm clothes and several layers.

When they are only wearing their boxers and their t-shirts, they fold the clothes, except the socks, those go to the washing machine, and they save them in the wardrobe. They are clean, so there’s no need to be washed.

“Are you sure about not reading tonight?” Dean says looking at Castiel, who is standing next to him.

Castiel sighs. “Do you ignore me or do you like to disturb me?” He arches one brow.

Dean smirks. “I like to tease you.”

Castiel rolls his eyes and he smiles. He turns over and he picks Dean’s socks and his. He goes to the bathroom and he leaves them in the washing machine while Dean keeps saving their clothes in the wardrobe.

It is the same routine they do every night. They have adapted to routine and to each other too well. Better than they expected.  
They get into their respective beds and like always, they say to each other good night before they switch off their lamps. The only sound in the bedroom comes from their breathing, and sometimes from the sound of the sheets and quilt when one of them rolls in bed.

Tonight, Castiel feels really cold. Heat in slaves’ bedrooms only works for a couple of hours and the bedroom doesn’t have enough time to warm up. Today was especially cold. The temperatures were more from winter than from autumn, so the sudden change was really noticeable. Castiel is used to the cold temperatures of the Brown Lands, but tonight he is feeling really cold.

Castiel covers himself a little bit more and he snuggles himself, trying to feel all the few warmth his body is releasing. They don’t have another quilt, and using another sheet won’t do anything. The bed is extremely cold; he doesn’t know how much it will take to his body to warm it, but it will take long.

After some minutes, Castiel is starting to shiver. The bed isn’t warming at all, and it seems that his body is going to be in that cold temperature for the rest of the night. Castiel tries to snuggle himself even more, but it doesn’t work. He is freezing. He rolls in the sheet and in the quilt, trying to wrap himself, so cold doesn’t get easier in the bed.

“Cas.” Dean says in a whisper.

“What?” Castiel says. Even his voice sounds cold.

“You okay?” There’s worry in his voice.

Castiel can’t stop trembling. “I’m just cold.” His teeth start to rattle.

He hears how Dean gets out of bed and he switches on the lamp in his bedside table. Dean sees how Cas is trembling and how he is all wrapped with the sheets and the quilt, as if he was a burrito.

Dean stands up and he approaches Castiel’s bed. “Cas you are trembling.” Dean says frowning.

“It’s fine. I will warm up in some minutes.” Castiel says careless.

Dean rolls his eyes. “No, you won’t.” He is really serious. He exhales. “Come to my bed.”

“What?” He asks confused. Did he hear what he heard?

“You heard me. Come to my bed. Sleep with me.” Dean says. Cas is freezing; he isn’t going to let him sleep with that cold temperature, he is trembling, if he lets him sleep alone, he will get sick or worse.

“Dean—”

“Cas, for fuck’s sake!” He says irritated. “My bed’s warm, I’m warm! I’m not going to leave you freezing in your bed!” He knows it isn’t the most common thing, but there’s no way Dean is going to leave Cas freeze in his bed. Dean is warm and his bed is it too. Cas needs that warmth. He is fucking trembling.

Castiel takes a deep breath. Sleeping with Dean. Is this serious? He can’t do that. He knows he will end up doing something that he shouldn’t while he sleeps. Those beds are for one person, although there is a bit of space left for a second one, and anything can happen. But Dean is asking him, so he might not mind about sharing a bed with him, but Cas isn’t sure about it.

“Y’know I can carry you in my arms and carry you to my bed, right?” Dean says arching one eyebrow.

Castiel grimaces. Dean isn’t going to let it go. Cas has to sleep in the same bed as Dean. Castiel sighs and he gets out of bed and Dean smiles softly.

“Get first. Because I know you, and I know that when I will be asleep, you will try to get out of bed.” Dean says with a warning voice. Castiel grimaces again in an annoyed way, glaring him a little. “If you try to sneak out I’ll notice.” He smirks in a serious way.

Castiel doesn’t say a word and he gets in Dean’s bed, which is really warm. He lies down, as close to the wall as he can to leave more room for Dean, who picks the alarm clock from Castiel’s bedside table to put it on his, he switches off the lamp and then, he gets in bed and lies aside, showing his back to Cas.

“Dean—” Castiel starts to say after a while.

“Don’t start.” Dean interrupts him mumbling.

“You didn’t even let me start!” He complains as he looks at the back of Dean’s neck, although the black leather collar hides most of the skin of Dean’s neck.

“You were going to say that the bed isn’t big enough for both of us and it would be better if you got back to your bed, right?”

Castiel opens widely his eyes. Dean knows him too well. “Not with those exact words…” He says with a little kid voice. Dean laughs. “How did you know it?”

“Because I know you too damn freaking damn well Cas.” He says proudly. Cas can’t see him, but he knows that Dean is smiling. That makes Castiel smile too.

“Would it be wrong if I approached you?” Castiel asks shyly. Dean turns his head to see him. “You are really warm.” He says even shies. He is looking down and he is blushing, but luckily, Dean can’t see it because of the darkness.

Dean smiles. “Approach, Cas.”

Castiel rolls, so he ends up lying aside, like Dean. He is really close to him, there are some inches left between their bodies, but he can feel Dean’s warmth perfectly. It is a nice feeling.

“How are you this warm?” Castiel asks curious.

Dean shrugs. “I don’t know. I’m most of the time warm.” It feels strange to have Cas lying next to him, so close. But it feels awesome. “You are really cold. I thought you were used to these temperatures.”

“I am. But these temperatures are from winter, not from autumn. My body isn’t used to this cold temperature in autumn.” He explains.

Dean places his hand in Castiel’s waist, something that makes Castiel’s heart to skip a beat, and then, when Dean moves closer, leaving no space between their bodies, Castiel’s heart starts to beat really fast. This is new. This feeling, this touch, this closeness, this situation is new to him and he is nervous and excited and even scared.

“Human body is a good heat.” Dean starts to explain. He pulls his hand away from Castiel’s waist. This is really close for just two friends, but Cas is freaking cold and Dean wants to give him all his warmth. “If you leave any inch, you won’t get warm.”

Castiel swallows. He seems to forget how to speak. He is feeling Dean’s body against his, he feels all his warmth and it is really addicting. Dean is the one who has offered to sleep together, the one who has moved closer, maybe he doesn’t mind if Castiel leans his forehead in the back of Dean’s neck, where the black collar isn’t covering it, and if he snuggles softly with Dean.

Castiel does it. Dean is surprised by that. Finally Cas decided to seize Dean’s warmth. Cas is really cold, but as minutes pass, his body is starting to be in a normal temperature.

“Nice to feel that you are starting to feel warmer.” Dean says happily. He feels Castiel’s smile against his neck. Fuck, feeling Cas’ smile against his skin feels great.

“Is this a common thing in the Free Lands?” Castiel asks in a soft voice. He feels really comfortable right now. He is laying aside with Dean, feeling him and Dean isn’t feeling nervous, uncomfortable or awkward. He is warm and he feels a nice sensation in his chest.

Dean puffs a laugh. “I don’t think it is common, but I guess there might be people who sleep in the same bed as their best friend when they need it.” He answers casually. Castiel nods. “This is better than your cold bed, right?”

“It is.” Castiel answers. Again, Dean can feel Castiel’s smile in his skin, making his heart to skip a beat. “It is really comfortable and nice.” He adds.

Dean blushes a little bit. Yes, it is really nice. He forgot what it felt like to have another person in your bed. That loneliness disappears; you feel warm and safe, as if nothing bad could happen.

“Thank you for worrying about me, Dean.” Castiel thanks mumbling. He is falling asleep easily, better than in his whole life.

“You are welcome, Cas.” Dean whispers as he closes his eyes. “Sweet dreams.”

Castiel smiles softly. “Sweet dreams to you too, Dean.” He whispers.

They fall asleep really easy. Slumber soon takes over his bodies, helped by the warmth they feel. Neither of them has fallen asleep like that in decades, and neither of them has felt this good since ever.

When the alarm clock sounds in the morning, both of them hate it. It is the first time Castiel finds it hard to wake up; he doesn’t want to lose that warmth, that comfortable feeling. He has never felt so good in his bed. But he isn’t in his bed, he in Dean’s. He didn’t remember it. Dean is lying aside, like Castiel, they are so close, too close and it feels great. He can smell Dean’s scent, feel Dean’s warmth. He doesn’t want to let Dean go.

Dean grunts and he turns off the alarm. He rubs his face and Castiel nuzzles Dean’s neck. He shouldn’t do that, he did it unconsciously; he isn’t fully awake yet, he doesn’t want to. He wants to stay in bed with Dean the whole day; he doesn’t want to let that warmth and that feeling away. If he was fully awake, his mind would be telling him to not think about it, but right now, he is still sleepy.

“Finding it hard to wake up?” Dean mumbles with a smirk.

Castiel nods. “This is warm and nice. I don’t want to go. I want to stay here with you.” He mumbles.

Dean opens his eyes surprised. Cas doesn’t want to get out of bed. He wants to stay with him. Dean’s heart starts to beat fast and his chest starts to feel tight. Then, he realizes that one of Castiel’s arms is wrapping him, and Castiel’s hand is fisting Dean’s t-shirt, as if Cas didn’t want Dean to go.

Castiel realizes about that some seconds later and he pulls his arm away as fast as he can. That’s why he didn’t want to sleep with Dean, because he knew he would do something like that. Now he is regretting what he said, that he wanted to stay in bed with Dean. Damn it, Dean must be freaking out or something.

“Dean, I’m sorry, I didn’t— I’m so sorry.” Castiel starts to say as he rises. “I don’t know how I ended up like that I—”

“It’s okay.” Dean says serious. Too serious. He hoped that Cas did any of that because he wanted to, not because of an accident. He is a fool. Dean clears his throat and he rises too. “Did you sleep well?”

Castiel looks at him, there’s something strange in Dean this morning. Castiel screwed it up; he knows it. He is stupid, he should have shut up or he should have removed the arm before Dean noticed it. “I sleep better than ever, actually.” He says honestly and with a shy smile.

Dean makes a tiny smile. “Good.” At least Cas slept well. Dean gets out of bed and he stretches himself. “Go and take your shower.” He says serious.

“Dean.” Castiel looks worried and scared. “I’m sorry for disturbing you.” He looks down at the floor ashamed.

Dean frowns confused. “Disturbing me?”

Castiel gets out of bed and he stands in front of Dean. “You are disturbed because of what I said, of what I did. I didn’t mean to do it, to make you uncomfortable, I’m sorry.”

“Cas, it’s okay, don’t worry.” He doesn’t need to hear that Cas didn’t want to do or say any of that again. It hurts. The worst part is that Castiel can see that Dean is bothered about it. Dean should try to hide all his emotions, but he can’t.

“You are mad at me.” He says with a broken voice.

No, Dean couldn’t be mad at him ever. He is just mad about not being good enough for Castiel, for not being able to make him happy.

Dean smiles in a sad but sweet way. “I’ll never be mad at you, Cas.”

Castiel’s eyes soften and they start to shine. He makes a tiny smile. The fear in his body starts to disappear slowly. Castiel hugs Dean, who reacts surprised and he hugs him back. Castiel is freaking weird and unpredictable; he is still able to surprise Dean.  
Dean holds him tighter. He needs to feel Cas in his arms; it always feels good, but it feels better when Cas tightens him too. It doesn’t mean anything. Castiel likes to hug Dean and in some occasions, he likes to touch him softly and sweetly. But he always does that to give him comfort, in a friendly way, and Dean always keeps trying to find another meaning where there isn’t.

Castiel pulls away from the hug and he looks at Dean. “I’m sorry, I just—” Cas starts to say in a confused way.

“Never mind Cas. It’s okay.” Dean says with a smile.

“Thank you for last night.” He thanks. He wants to kiss Dean’s cheek, but he shouldn’t. He has done too many things already; he doesn’t need to do another stupid thing. “Thanks for caring.”

Dean smiles and he nods. Then, Cas picks some clean clothes and he goes into the bathroom. When the door is closed, Dean takes a deep and desperate breath and then, he rubs his eyes. Cas was fisting his t-shirt, Cas told him he wanted to stay in bed with him, but he didn’t mean any of that. He knows it, but it still hurts.

He looks up; his eyes are starting to burn and they are glassy. He wants Cas, he wants to kiss him, to feel him, to make him smile, to sleep with him, to make him happy, to make him feel worth… He wants Cas.

Dean sighs frustrated and he sits on his bed. He is so fucking stupid. Why would Cas ever be interested on him? Dean isn’t worth, even if Cas says otherwise. Dean runs his fingers through his hair. He looks at the pillow. It felt too great to sleep with Cas… But it was a transient dream. He must get used to this. He will never be with Cas, because Cas will never want him. Cas will never feel the way Dean feels. Dean will never be the person Cas deserves, the person that Cas needs. Because Dean is all crap.

But the way that Cas hugged him, how he smiled against his skin when they were in the same bed talking… No. Dean has to stop trying to see things where there aren’t. He has to look like nothing is wrong at all. He has to make his bed and pretend that it is a normal morning like always.

 

Today is not as cold as yesterday, but it is cold too. And working in the garden isn’t easy with those temperatures, but Castiel is wearing a thick sweater, a shirt and a t-shirt. His pants are made of corduroy, which are really warm.

Castiel still thinks that Dean is a bit mad at him. He shouldn’t have said what he said and did what he did. It bothered Dean. During breakfast and lunch, Dean seemed to be as fine as usually, but Castiel could see in the forest of Dean’s green eyes that something wrong was going on with him. He would have loved to ask, but Dean doesn’t like talking and Castiel didn’t want to spoil things more.

Everything felt so good when he was in the same bed as Dean. The warmth, the touch, the feeling… He wants Dean, he wants him so bad. He never expected that falling in love was this maddening. All these ups and downs are scary and painful, but at the same time they are great. It is really complex.

A cold wind blows and Castiel shivers. It is starting to get dark and suppertime isn’t until half an hour. Only thirty minutes left. It isn’t much. He can stand that cold for that period of time. It isn’t too cold, but Castiel would rather stay in the house than outside, freezing himself.

Those thirty minutes fly away easily and Castiel goes to the garage to find Dean, who smiles when he sees him; that’s a good sign. They go to the kitchen after Dean has gathered everything up, they eat and then, they go to their bedroom, like every single night.

When Dean has put back in the wardrobe their clothes, he turns and he looks at Castiel. He clears his throat before he speaks. “Do you— do you want to sleep with me again?” Dean asks and Castiel’s heart skips a beat and he doesn’t notice that he opens his mouth. Dean looks down ashamed. “Fuck, I shouldn’t have asked.” He says rubbing his neck.

“I want to.” Castiel says hurriedly. Dean looks up; his eyes are wide opened and they are incredulous. “It is cold tonight too. I will start to shiver and you will wake up and make me go to your bed.” He explains with a tiny and sassy smile.

Dean laughs. “Yeah, I will.” He says nodding.

Castiel goes to Dean’s bed and he gets in it. Dean switches off the light and he gets in his bed. He can’t hide the big smile on his face. He knows Cas only wants to sleep with him because it is cold, but Cas decided to do it, he could have said no, but he said yes. Dean knows he is trying to find hope in something that it isn’t, but he is a fucking fool. He can’t help it.

Dean is lying aside, like Cas. They are facing each other. Dean knows it would be better that he was facing Castiel’s bed instead of Cas, but right now they are still awake. He will roll over later.

“Cas.” Dean says shyly.

“Yes?” Castiel says looking at Dean’s eyes hidden in the darkness.

Dean licks his lips. “You told me this morning that you wanted to stay in bed with me.” He starts to say. He is going to regret this, he knows it, however, he doesn’t shut up, like usually. But this time, he doesn’t want to shut up, he wants to ask. “Did you mean it?”

Castiel sighs. “Yes.” He blushes a little bit. He doesn’t want to lie him.

Castiel can’t see that Dean’s eyes are shining bright and hopeful. “Really?”

“Really.” He answers shyly. He strokes the pillow in a cute way. “I felt calm and warm. It was nicer than being in my cold bed.” He adds in a whisper as if he was afraid of being heard.

“I felt that too.” Dean confesses looking at Castiel’s eyes. He sounds silly, like a little boy trying to tell his crush what he feels.

Castiel smiles. “I never slept in the same bed as anyone before.” He says approaching a little bit more Dean; he wants to feel that addicting and overwhelming warmth again, taking over his body slowly and sweetly.

“Sorry it had to be me the first one.”

Castiel smiles. “Don’t be sorry. I actually enjoyed sleeping with you.” He confesses. Dean’s smile gets bigger. “You are like a heat.”

Dean laughs. “Yeah, more or less.”

“Maybe tomorrow the temperature will be higher.” Castiel starts to say.

“Oh.” Dean simply says. Nothing better comes to his mind. He is sad about what Cas said; he would love to have Castiel in his bed again.

There’s a silence in between. They can hear the wind blowing outside and their breathings. Neither of them has closed his eyes, they are still awake, as if they still have something left to say.

Castiel yawns, he is feeling sleepy. “We should better fall asleep.” Dean says.

Castiel nods in agreement and he approaches Dean even more, until there isn’t any space left and he can feel Castiel’s cold body, not as cold as last night, against his. “Is this okay? That I stay this close to you?” Castiel asks looking at Dean, who is shocked by this.

“Yes Cas, it is okay.” Dean answers with a happy smile. “Is it okay to you if I hold you?” He asks nervously.

“It is.” Castiel says nodding, trying to hide in a failed attempt his happiness. “One way or another we are going to end up like that.” He smiles.

Dean smiles too. “Yeah.” He wraps Castiel in his arms and Castiel places his head under Dean’s chin. Cas doesn’t know how intimate this position is, or maybe he does it but he doesn’t care; he just wants to feel Dean’s warmth. “Do you feel warmer like this?”

“I do. You are really, really warm. It is really nice.” He says smiling against Dean’s black collar, although Dean can feel a part of that smile in his skin.

Dean knows he isn’t going to have something like this again, or maybe he will, if temperatures will get as cold as today and Cas can’t feel warm, but he knows that soon, Cas will get used to the cold temperatures and he won’t sleep with Dean again. So Dean is going to enjoy that moment, having Cas in his arms, breathing calmly, falling asleep in his arms, holding him.

This feels really good. Better than anything in fact. While Castiel is in his arms, sleeping, Dean doesn’t feel bad at all; he forgets easily where he is. He feels safe, nice and warm. Cas feels like home. He makes him feel good.

Dean smiles. Tonight, he is happy, really happy and he feels great, better than in a long, long, long time. For one night, he feels like his life was the one he used to have before Sam died, but with Cas on that life. All his pain seems to fade away, all his thoughts seem to get away and all he can think of, to focus on, is on Cas, in his arms, and damn it, it feels too freaking good for Dean.


	17. Only a kiss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, for the kudos, for the comments, for the bookmarks and the subscriptions, you are the best ^^

They didn’t sleep together again; like Castiel said, the temperatures got higher, not much, but now they were the normal temperatures for autumn. There wasn’t any point on sleeping together when both of them were warm again in their beds.

However, Castiel feels colder than usually when he is in his bed. Dean is too warm, and now his bed is colder and lonelier than ever. He misses sleeping with Dean. But he can’t tell Dean every single night that he wants to sleep in his bed because he is cold and lonely, that he wants to feel that wonderful and addicting warmth of his. If he could, Castiel would sleep with Dean for the rest of his life. The peace, the warmth, the safety and everything he feels when he sleeps with Dean is the best thing he has ever felt.

Tonight, they are reading; both of them are trying to get away all those thoughts and feelings they have for each other, trying to lose themselves in the universe of the book, running away from all the things they want but they can’t have.

Castiel is finishing _Pride and Prejudice_ ; there are just a couple of pages left. Dean is reading _The Hobbit_. Both of them are submerged in the world those written pages show, with the only sound of the pages moving when one of them passes it and their calm breathings.

After some minutes, Castiel finishes the book and he looks at the cover. He sighs. Dean turns his face to see him grimacing at the book.

“You finished it?” Dean asks.

Castiel doesn’t take his eyes away from the cover and he nods. “I did.”

Castiel gets up from bed to move towards the wardrobe. “Here.” Dean says offering his book.

“You can keep reading Dean.” Castiel says frowning at him.

“You are gonna sleep, I don’t want to disturb you.” He says. Castiel is about to complain, but Dean interrupts him. “Don’t say a word.” He says arching his eyebrows. “You do the same with me when I want to sleep. You don’t read because you don’t want to disturb me with the lights.” He says cockily.

Castiel rolls his eyes and he makes an acid smile. Yes, Dean is right, he does the same. He picks Dean’s book. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah.” Dean says. Castiel moves toward the wardrobe and he starts to move it. “Wanna some help?” Dean asks.

“No, I’m good.” He moves the wardrobe easily. The first days it was a bit hard to move it, but now Castiel is used to move it, like Dean, and he moves it without any trouble at all.

Castiel kneels and he opens the secret stash and he leaves the books in there. They have read most of them and soon they will have to reread them. Then, Castiel closes the stash, leaving the piece of wood in its right place, and then he moves the wardrobe back to its place.

“Did you like the book?” Dean asks when Castiel is done with moving the wardrobe.

“Yes, although…” Castiel starts to say as he approaches Dean’s bed. He doesn’t sit; he is standing next to it, watching Dean, who is covered with the sheets and the quilt from waist down, sitting on the bed, with his back leaning on the headboard.

“Although…?”

“Have you ever read it?” Castiel asks curious.

“Yeah, they made me read it in high school. It was too chick-flick.” He pouts.

Castiel rolls his eyes. “It’s not too chick-flick.” He says with a tired voice. Dean looks at him with an obvious look. “It’s not.” He says with persistent eyes. Dean rolls his eyes and Castiel punches his arm softly, something that makes Dean laugh more than grunt. “Just forget it.” He says turning over in an exhausting way.

“C’mon Cas, you know I’m teasing you.” Dean says with a friendly voice. Castiel knows it, but he likes to tease Dean too. Dean is always teasing him and Castiel must tease him as much as he can when he has the occasion. Castiel sighs and he turns over. “Tell me what you wanted to tell me about the book.” Dean inquires sweetly.

“Really?” He sassies. One of his eyebrows is raised. Dean nods. Castiel sits down in Dean’s bed and Dean bends his knees, embracing his legs with his arms, leaving more room for Castiel. “They don’t kiss.” He says confused.

“The main characters?”

Castiel nods. “Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy. They don’t kiss.”

Dean frowns confused, trying to remember the book he read a long time ago. “Yeah, you are right, they don’t kiss.” He narrows his eyes and he makes a thoughtful face.

“I can understand they don’t do it when they are in public; in that century it wasn’t something appropriate, but the rest of the time…” He says confused and looking at Dean as if he could find all the answers to his questions in that gorgeous face.

Dean shrugs. “Maybe until they weren’t married, it wasn’t appropriate to kiss.”

“Maybe.” He squints his eyes.

Dean tries to understand Castiel’s face right now. There’s some strange mystery in Castiel’s face. There’s always something scheming on Cas, but right now it is odder than usually. “What worries you?”

Castiel sighs and he looks shyly at Dean before he looks at his lap. He is in silence for some seconds and then, he looks at Dean, who is expecting an answer. Castiel makes a strange grimace; half shy and half guilty. “I want to know what a kiss feels like.” He says seriously.

Dean is surprised by that answer, but also he is surprised by how serious Cas sounded. His voice didn’t tremble and he didn’t blush. “The best way is to be kissed.”

“No, really?” Castiel says sarcastically and Dean laughs really loud; he loves sarcastic and sassy Cas; it is great. Castiel smiles widely. “I already knew that Dean.” He says laughing.

“Well, I could kiss you.” Dean says. Then, he freezes. No. Damn it. He said that out loud. He didn’t say it in his mind. He fucking said it out loud. And he said it quickly and casually as if it was the most normal thing in the world. He told Cas that he could kiss him. Fucking awesome. He deserves a trophy for saying and doing things he shouldn’t do. Hasn’t he got any control on himself or what?

Castiel looks at him confused. “Would you kiss me?” He isn’t blushed or shocked. Cas is being serious with that question, as if he was considering the offer.

Dean swallows. He needs to stay calm. How is he going to stay calm? He just told Cas that he could kiss him and now Cas is considering it. What if Cas says yes? Holy shit. This is nuts, but Cas is looking at him in a hopeful way, what can Dean do? He has to find in the garage some tape and stick it in his mouth soon, because if he keeps saying things like that, he doesn’t know where it is going to lead him.

“Yeah, why not?” Dean says. Great answer Winchester. Why don’t you just kiss him and freak Castiel out? But Castiel isn’t freaking out. Why is he looking as if they were talking about something unimportant like what their favorite pie flavor is? At least right now Cas is a bit blushed, but not so much. “Do you want me to kiss you?” How handy that tape could have come right now…

Castiel parts his lips. Of course he wants Dean to kiss him. All of this is being insane. Dean is offering himself to kiss him and Castiel is almost accepting it. And no one of them is refusing to any of this. As if this was something normal they could do every day. “I won’t be disturbed by that, I guess.” He simply says. Castiel and his methodic answers. “I think that I would like my first kiss to be from someone like you.”

“Someone like me?” If Dean was a cartoon, his heart would be pumping out of his chest. Right now, his heart is beating faster than ever and he doesn’t know how he is still able to breath. He can feel his heart heating against his chest, like a drummer beating out of time.

“Yes.” Castiel says. Dean raises his eyebrows and he shakes his head, telling Castiel that he wants an explanation. “A good friend like you.”

The word friend feels like a stone being thrown at Dean’s face; but Dean keeps his expression, although he is blushing and his lips are parted. He can’t believe any of this is happening.

Dean takes a deep breath. “So you want me to kiss you?” He asks. He sounds so freaking stupid. He still refuses to accept this is real. He must be high, drunk or his mind is playing tricks on him; there’s no any other explanation. But this is fucking real. This conversation is happening. Holy shit.

Castiel nods. “I don’t know if this makes you uncomfortable.” He murmurs.

No, uncomfortable isn’t the word. Dean doesn’t know what’s the word for what he is feeling right now. It is a mix of anticipation, nervous, eager, need, want, regret, craziness and butterflies in his stomach. They are talking about kissing. About Dean’s lips on Cas’, touching each other’s lips. Dean knows that once he tastes Castiel’s lips, he would find it hard not to taste them again. And he knows that if he kisses Cas, all those feelings and thoughts he is trying to ignore so hard, or keep them in an extremely low voice, will come stronger than ever. Cas is asking him to kiss him because he has never been kissed, he wants to know what it feels like, he is curious.

It is just a kiss; only that. He is only going to kiss Castiel because his friend wants to know what a kiss is like. Dean is going to regret this, but he can’t deny Cas the kiss, after all, Dean knows that this is the only chance Cas will have to kiss someone.

“Okay.” Dean says casually and removing the quilt and the sheets. He sits in the border of the bed, next to Cas and facing him. “I’ll kiss you.”

Castiel’s eyes widen and his lips part. Dean is going to kiss him. He is really going to kiss him. His heart is beating fast, hitting harder against his chest, as if it wanted to get out. Castiel is nervous, too nervous, but he doesn’t look like it.

They look at each other for some moments, but they feel like an eternity. Both of them are trying to find a glimpse of doubt in each other’s eyes; but there isn’t any. This is really going to happen. They are going to kiss. It is insane.

“Close your eyes, Cas.” Dean says.

“Why?” Castiel asks confused and squinting his eyes.

Dean smiles. His poor Cas doesn’t know anything about kisses. “Because kisses feel better with eyes closed and if you have them opened, it is weird.” He explains calmly. He shouldn’t be this calm, but he is.

Castiel nods. “Okay.” He says closing his eyes. “Anything more I should know before we kiss?” He asks nervously. Dean is about to kiss him and Castiel doesn’t want to disappoint him or do something unappropriated.

Dean licks his lips and then, he starts to approach Castiel’s face slowly. This is madness. He closes his eyes. “Just let yourself go.” He whispers. And he starts to kiss Castiel.

Dean moves his lips against Castiel’s softly, feeling them. They taste even better than Dean expected. His chest is burning right now and he has just only started the kiss. It feels too good to kiss Cas, to finally know what his lips feel like. Dean has wanted to touch those lips for too long. It feels great; his heart is beating really fast, he can feel his blood running in high speed through his whole arterial system, he can feel how something warm is blooming inside him and he is feeling things he has never felt before. This was a terrible idea, but right now, he doesn’t care; he is kissing Castiel.

Of course, Castiel is static; he doesn’t know what to do with his lips yet. He is too focused on feeling Dean’s lips touching his. He has never been touched like this, with this sweetness. It feels too extraordinary. Everything inside Castiel is tingling and his whole body is being warmer as seconds pass, feeling nicer and better; more than ever. Everything feels marvelous.

After some seconds, Castiel starts to kiss Dean back. There’s inexperience in his movements, but Dean doesn’t care; he finds it adorable actually. Damn it, Castiel is kissing him back, he is fucking kissing him back. Dean is losing his mind now. He has to fight the urge to cup Castiel’s face, to run his fingers through the messy black hair, to push him even closer to his mouth, to kiss him until Castiel needs to breath, until both of them go crazy. He is fisting the sheets to avoid doing any of that. This is crazy and even arousing. Castiel’s lips were made to kiss. They feel awesome in Dean’s. Dean can’t stop. He wants to kiss those lips over and over again, to feel them always, to have the freedom to kiss Castiel whenever he wants to.

Castiel can’t stop either; Dean’s lips are warm and wet, they are sweet and salty, they are gentle, it feels extremely good. Dean was right; kissing could be awesome. Castiel needs to feel for some more moments those lips, he doesn’t want to lose that touch, it is incredible. It takes all the pain away. Castiel has never felt this good before. This kiss is turning Castiel’s world upside down. This is perfect, this is everything he has missed his whole life. He wants more and more, he doesn’t want to stop. Dean kisses in an extraordinary way.

After some long moments, Dean pulls away softly; he can’t keep kissing Cas the whole night, he would love to, he is dying to kiss him all night long, but it was starting to be too long and he can’t take advantage of Cas.

They are really close, their noses are touching, but there are a couple of inches left between their mouths. Both of them open their eyes slowly and they look at each other. They are breathing quite fast. They are still in the heat of kissing.

“Did you like it?” Dean asks shyly murmuring. His voice sounds calmed and even happy.

“I did.” Castiel says murmuring too. He can still feel the ghost of Dean’s lips in his, the warmth of those lips, the touch, the feeling... “It was really satisfactory.”

Dean makes a shy and tiny smile, although it is a bit satisfactory too. He can’t move away yet, he likes this overwhelming sensation. This crazy feeling after a kiss, this arousal after a good kiss, looking at Cas with desire. He has to stop, but he can’t; right now, he only wants to kiss Cas again.

“What I did during the kiss, was it correct?” He asks looking down at Dean’s lips; those soft and tender lips. He would love to feel them again. He would love to kiss Dean until his lungs ache for air.

Dean smiles again. “Yeah. It was a bit clumsy at the beginning, but then you did awesome.” He confesses.

There is a silence. No one of them moves away. Dean is wondering if it would be too wrong to kiss Cas. After all, Cas hasn’t moved away either, he kissed him back. Even his pupils are dilated, like Dean’s. What if Cas wants what Dean wants? Dean is starting to breathe a bit faster and nervous are taking over his body.

“I guess I should go back to my bed.” Castiel says in a whisper and moving away softly. He needs to get away from those hypnotic eyes and those tempting lips. If he stays longer, Castiel would grab Dean’s face and kiss him. But he can’t and he needs to move away from Dean’s bed soon before he does it.

Dean feels a huge cold and painful feeling his body. He had a lot and now, all those wonderful feelings and all that warm fade away as easily as if they were made of smoke in the air. “Yeah, yeah.” He says clearing his throat. He will never learn…

Castiel stands up. “Thank you for the kiss.” He smiles shyly. The blush in his cheeks is starting to appear.

Dean smiles. “You are welcome.” He gets in the bed while Castiel goes to his own.

They switch off the lights, they say goodnight and they cover themselves. Castiel is lying aside, with his face looking at the wall. He is touching his lips, a bit swollen by the kiss. They are still warm. Kissing Dean felt extraordinary. He closes his eyes and tries to remember the kiss. As he does it, a small tingle runs his body. He wants to kiss Dean again. But he doesn’t know how he is going to get that; Dean doesn’t love him. He sighs lowly and he covers himself.

Dean is looking at Castiel’s bed. He knew that Cas wanted the kiss to know what it felt like. Just because Dean kissed him, it didn’t mean that suddenly, Cas would show interest on him and they would be together. This isn’t a fucking sitcom, this is the real life. But Dean’s hopes where there, they will always be there whenever he sees Cas doing something that can be seen as something more. He sighs frustrated. At least he can remember the kiss, he still has the taste of Castiel in his lips.

 

Morning arrives when the alarm clock sounds. Dean, like always, rolls over, as if with that he was going to avoid the fact of having to wake up. Castiel otherwise, gets up from the bed easily and quickly and he turns off the alarm clock. He looks at Dean and he remembers the kiss. It isn’t going to be easy to forget it.

“Come on, Dean. Wake up.” Castiel says.

“Just one hour more…” Dean mumbles.

Castiel laughs. “Don’t make me throw at you the alarm clock.” He jokes.

Dean moves his face to stare at him. Cas and his pretty smile with those pretty and kissable lips. He isn’t going to forget the kiss easily either. Dean grunts and gets up and he rubs his face. He hears the sound of water hitting against the window. “Is it raining?” Dean frowns.

Castiel looks through the window. “It is.” He pouts and sighs. “I hope that Jo assigns me an interesting task.”

“An interesting task in this house?” Dean scoffs. “Yeah, you won’t have a problem at all.” He says sarcastically.

Castiel glares him. “Shut up.” He moves towards the wardrobe to pick his clothes. It is being really easy to forget about the kiss topic for now. Maybe Dean is avoiding it too. He doesn’t know. But every time he looks at Dean, he can’t stop thinking about the kiss.

“You okay?” Dean says. Castiel has been standing in front of the wardrobe for too long.

Castiel shakes his head, as if he was waking up from a far land his mind was. “Yes, I was—” He starts to say looking at Dean. _Thinking about how much I would love to kiss you again._ “Thinking.” He says. He can lie better, he knows it.

Dean feels a shiver. He is thinking about the kiss, he knows it. “About what?” He asks cautious.

Castiel has to lie quickly. “About what clothes I should choose. I’m sure Jo isn’t going to make me work outside, but I don’t know how many layers I should wear.” He says calmly and searching in the wardrobe. It has been easier than he expected to lie. He hopes that Dean believes him. He hates lying to him, but he doesn’t want to confess his feelings.

Dean narrows his eyes, not fully believing him. “Just pick a t-shirt and a sweater. It is a bit cold.” He shrugs and he keeps making his bed.

Castiel nods and he picks those clothes. Then, everything goes as usual, Castiel goes to the bathroom to relieve himself, shave (he has more stubble than he likes), and take a shower. When he is done and fully dressed, it is Dean’s turn in the bathroom and meanwhile, Castiel makes his bed. When Dean is done and fully dressed too, they go to the kitchen to have breakfast.

While they are having breakfast, Jo appears and she tells Castiel he will have to work the whole day in the garage with Dean, doing whatever Dean needs. Castiel is happy to spend the whole day with Dean, but at the same time, he is going to stay the whole day thinking about the kiss and having Dean with him the whole day, it is going to make it difficult to work. The same happens to Dean.

The morning in the garage seems to go pretty good. Neither of them mentions the kiss or looks awkward. It must be because Dean is working on a car while Castiel is cleaning the tools. Castiel came up with that idea and Dean said it was okay.

But in the afternoon, they are working in the same car, cleaning it and washing it. It is a dark green 1949 Cadillac. It is really long and it has a lot of to clean and to wash, so it is easier if Castiel and Dean do it together.

Castiel looks at Dean once in a while. He can’t take away the kiss from his mind. He wonders if Dean was able to remove the memory or if he is still thinking about it. Castiel remembers the heat and the overwhelming feeling when Dean kissed him. It was so sweet, so gentle. He wasn’t kissed before, but he is one hundred percent sure that Dean is a great kisser. He would give anything to kiss Dean, to be kissed in a passionate way. He knows Dean; he must be the kind of kisser that kisses you until you are craving for air. Although Dean can be also a sweet kisser. Damn it, Cas wants to feel every kind of kiss with Dean.

He has to stop thinking about it. Dean kissed him because Castiel was never kissed and he wanted to know what a kiss felt like. He was just doing him a favor, nothing else. He wanted to know what a kiss was like and Dean showed him. If he wanted anything else, he would have kissed him again; he wouldn’t have stayed there looking at Cas.

“Cas, what’s wrong?” Dean wonders when he sees Castiel is looking down in a sad way.

“I shouldn’t have asked you to kiss me.” Castiel murmurs.

Dean opens his eyes widely. “Why do you say that?” He says a bit scared of the answer.

Castiel sighs. He doesn’t know what to answer. If he reveals his true feelings about Dean, he might lose him as a friend, and he doesn’t want that. Maybe Dean won’t mind about knowing what Castiel feels, but there’s no possible way that Dean would react in a normal way if Castiel tells him the truth. He doesn’t want to lose the only worth person in his life.

He bites his lower lip. “We are friends. Friends don’t kiss.”

“That was an exception.” Dean says trying to sound casually. “You wanted to be kissed, and I offered to kiss you because I doubt you will found someone else here who wants to kiss you.” He explains. Although he also wanted to kiss him, because he was dying to know what Castiel’s lips tasted like. “Didn’t you like the kiss?”

“I loved it!” He says abruptly. He blushes a lot and Dean opens his eyes widely before he starts to laugh loudly. “Don’t laugh at me!” Castiel says punching his arm.

“Then what’s the big deal, Cas?” Dean asks when his laughter is a low one. He can’t help feeling happy with that; Cas liked the kiss.

Castiel would love to say that the problem is that he can’t kiss Dean whenever he can. But he can’t say that. “I don’t know.” He says with his face all red and looking down. Dean looks at him bewildered. “It was just a kiss.”

Dean doesn’t understand where Castiel is trying to go with that affirmation. It hurts a bit to know that for Castiel it was only that. Dean already knew it, but hearing it out from Castiel’s mouth, hurts more.

“It was just a kiss.” Dean murmurs sadly. “But you enjoyed it, right?” He is trying to take all the pain away. Castiel looks at him and he nods. “That’s what matters.” He says as he keeps cleaning the car.

“You are good kisser.” Castiel says casually.

Dean laughs and he blushes slightly. “Well, I was your first kiss. I bet that if the worst kisser kissed you, you would still say that kisser kisses good.” He smirks.

“You are an assbutt.” He throws the sponge at Dean’s face and then, Dean catches it and throws it at Cas, who catches it and smirks cockily. Dean throws his sponge but Castiel catches it, so now he has two sponges and he throws at the same time both of them, but Dean ducks and the sponges miss.

Dean runs to pick both sponges and Castiel throws himself to Dean, and he climbs Dean’s back. He wraps with his legs Dean’s waist while Dean stretches his arms as far as he can from Castiel’s sneaky hands.

“Give them to me.” Castiel grunts with a smile.

“Never!” Dean laughs. He places the two sponges in one of his hands and with the other, that it is wet and cold, he manages to sneak it behind Castiel’s clothes, and he touches the skin in Castiel’s side.

“Dean!” Castiel shivers and he gets off Dean, who is smirking cockily. “That’s not fair!”

In moments like that, Dean would love to kiss Castiel; to kiss him with a smile on his lips, until Castiel is smiling too during the kiss. But he can’t. Not only because they can be seen if Jo or Crowley arrives; Castiel said it clear; last night’s kiss was only a kiss.

But they can still have moments like this, laughing and playing. They are pretty good, and when they are like that, both of them forget all their doubts, all their pain. It feels awesome.

Castiel looks at Dean with a pretty and big smile. His heart is telling him to kiss Dean, but his mind is telling him not to. His lips are tingling with the memory of Dean’s lips in his. Maybe he will need time to get used to not kiss him. He has done well since he fell in love with Dean. He could deal with the idea of not kissing him, but now, he has tasted that marvelous kiss, and he craves for more. It is like what happens when he sleeps; he wants to sleep with Dean again.

The main problem is that they are crossing too many lines and they can’t go back where they were. They know what it feels like to sleep together and to kiss, and now, they want to do all those things over and over, but they can’t, because they are really afraid of losing each other if they show what they really want.

They are two fools in love. This is new for them. Dean has been with a lot of people, but he never felt the way he feels about Cas. And Castiel has never felt anything like this; he has never met someone who made him feel all those things. And they are scared about it. It is new for them; they don’t want to fuck things up, they don’t want to hurt each other, to lose each other and they don’t understand a few of the things they are feeling. And if they ever get that final step, if they finally end up together, how will they handle it? They will have to hide it. If any slave, or Jo, or Crowley finds out they are together, they will get killed; if they are lucky. They can’t risk themselves like that.

But if Dean or Castiel knew the true and real feelings of the other, they will screw all of that and they will end up together; because deep down, they want that. It doesn’t matter how much Dean hates himself, how he doesn’t seem himself good enough for Castiel, or how much Castiel thinks Dean will get bored of him, that he will never be who Dean truly deserves, they want to be together. They will lie to themselves, saying that they should stop thinking all of that, because they aren’t good enough, because if they are together, that would be the end of what they have, but a small part inside them knows that it isn’t true at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, they are idjits


	18. Have you ever seen the rain?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the chapter. As always, thank you so much for reading, for the kudos, for the bookmarks, for the comments and for the subscriptions :)

They didn’t talk about the kiss anymore; but that doesn’t mean they didn’t think about it. They were thinking about that stupid kiss all the time. Every time they were close, staring at each other, like they always did, without saying a word, sinking in each other’s eyes, not caring about the rest of the world, as if they were the only ones left in the world, the urge to kiss was strong. But neither of them kissed. Not once. Because they were blind; they couldn’t see how much they loved each other.

Several days have passed. Dean and Castiel are getting closer, if that was even more possible. Those moments when they stare at each other or they end up in an awkward stance, are starting to be more and more usual. And yet, no one of them makes the move; they are too afraid of the consequences that will come up if any of them reveals his feelings.

Dean is right now dreaming. A really good dream actually. Sometimes he gets bad dreams, but tonight he is having a great dream. He is kissing Cas. They aren’t in the Harvelle’s house, they are in Dean’s house in Sioux Falls, in fact, they are in Dean’s bed. Dean is lying down and Castiel is lying above Dean. Castiel’s hands are everywhere, trying to touch Dean everywhere, tracing his body down, feeling Dean’s skin and Dean’s clothes. Meanwhile, Dean is running one of his hands through Castiel’s messy hair and with his other hand, he is touring Castiel’s back and one of Castiel’s sides, trying to sneak it behind Castiel’s t-shirt.

Castiel smiles every time Dean’s fingers touch his skin; Dean can feel that smile in the kiss. Fuck, it feels great to feel that beautiful smile as they kiss and Dean can’t help smiling. This is great, this is too good. There isn’t the black collar, there isn’t Jo, there isn’t Crowley, there aren’t any other slaves; it is just the two of them, making out in Dean’s bed.

Suddenly, Castiel starts to shake his body as they kiss, and Dean starts to be more aroused. Castiel’s movements and those passionate kiss are turning him on really quick. Dean presses Castiel against his body; he doesn’t want to left any space in between; he wants to feel Cas everywhere. He doesn’t want to lose Castiel’s warmth. He hates anything that it is in between them, anything that avoids the feeling of each other so close.

Castiel’s hands are now stroking his thighs and soon they sneak under Dean’s t-shirt, feeling Dean’s incredible warmth chest and Castiel caresses with his fingers Dean’s nipples. Dean makes a moan in the kiss and Castiel smirks, proud to be the one who makes Dean make those wonderful sounds.

Dean opens his mouth, so his tongue is now in Castiel’s mouth, something that makes Cas moan and then, he twists his tongue with Dean’s as he starts to rock his body again, pressing his crotch against Dean in that arousing and perfect way.

The alarm clock sounds and Dean opens his eyes fast, looking around. It was just a dream. A freaking awesome dream. He rubs his face. The best part of the dream was about to come and the stupid alarm clock interrupted him. He grunts against the pillow, swearing in his mind.

“Come on sleeping beauty.” Castiel chuckles. Dean always finds it hard to wake up, and he always finds it funny. He already turned the alarm clock off; now he is stretching and looking at Dean, who is with his face buried in the pillow. “Every single morning you do the same.” He keeps saying. “You should be used to waking up early.”

Dean turns his face to see him. Dean’s hair is a mess and his eyes are squinted. “I will never get used to wake up early. I don’t know how you can do it.” He mumbles. He has morning breath, he can feel that strange taste. “It must be a superpower or something.”

Castiel laughs and looks down. “You are an assbutt.”

Dean is about to get up from bed when he realizes that he is hard. Damn it, he got hard with that dream. He blushes a lot. He can’t get out of bed yet. Not if Cas is there, looking at him. He doesn’t know how he can explain it. It would be like, you know what? I got hard because I dreamt I was making out with you. That would be the most awkward situation for both of them. How is Dean even supposed to act normal when he looks at Cas after this? Fuck.

“Dean, are you okay?” Castiel asks worried.

Dean looks at him. He can’t take out of his mind the way Cas was kissing and touching him, how Cas was rubbing himself against Dean. He dreamt about making out with his best friend and he got hard. Holy shit. Dean’s the king of inappropriate things.

“Yeah.” Dean manages to say. He sounds strange, he knows it. He avoids Castiel’s confused sight. “I—” He has to think fast and he hopes his mind doesn’t play on him and makes him tell Cas the truth. “I’ve got a cramp in my leg.” He finally says. “Don’t worry. Some minutes in bed and I’ll be okay.”

Castiel frowns. “Really? Aren’t you making something up so you can stay more time in bed?” He arches one brow.

Dean laughs. “No. I promise. It’s a leg cramp. If I wanted to stay in bed more, I’d stay.”

“Yes. You are right.” He laughs as he goes towards the wardrobe to pick some clothes. He looks at Dean again, with a smile on his face and Dean returns it back.

When Castiel closes the bathroom door, Dean covers his face with his hands and then, he starts to hit himself softly with his palms. He needs to jerk off to get rid of the boner. But the bedroom isn’t the place for that. When Cas comes out from the bathroom, he may notice the smell of come. Besides, Dean hasn’t got anything to clean himself after coming, and he is definitely not going to clean himself in the sheets. He will have to wait until Cas finishes his shower to masturbate in it. This is the worst.

The worst part is that he has to make the bed with a boner. He has to look as normal as possible and he has to do what he does every morning. This is insane and awkward. Why did he have to dream about that? He couldn’t dream about unicorns, lollipops, rainbows and cheesy things like that, no he had to dream with Cas making out with him, kissing him in that arousing way and rubbing his crotch against Dean’s. Some minutes more and he would have dreamt with Cas sneaking his hands in his boxers.

That doesn’t help. Dean takes a deep breath. He goes to the wardrobe and he picks his clothes. When Castiel gets out of the bathroom, he will cover his boner with his clothes, because he isn’t going to let Cas see that he is hard. Cas will look at him weirdly and he will start to make questions and Dean is not definitely ready for that. He had enough when he had to explain Cas what a handjob and a blowjob were.

He waits for his turn in the bathroom sitting on his bed. Castiel doesn’t take a long time in the shower, but today, time seems to go slower than usually for Dean, and it isn’t helping. Thinking about Cas, wet and naked in the shower, enjoying how the hot water runs and drenches his body... He has to stop. He will think about Cas later in the shower. This sounds so pervert.

After some minutes Cas gets out of the bathroom and Dean stands up, being very careful to cover his boner with his clothes. Castiel looks at him confused; Dean seems weird this morning.

Dean gets in the bathroom really fast and he goes to the shower. He has to take care of his morning wood quickly. He starts to take off his clothes fast; leaving them in the washing machine when they are removed and then, he gets in the shower and the hot water starts to fall down.

It has been a long time since Dean masturbated. He takes a deep breath. He is going to jerk off as he thinks about his best friend. This is really inappropriate, but there isn’t any other way to deal with this. It will be just some minutes, nothing else.

Dean closes his eyes and he starts to touch himself. Oh God, he forgot how good it felt to jerk off. It has been so long since he touched himself like this. His cock is really hard and Dean starts to fuck into his hand, imagining that Castiel is in the shower with him, all naked and wet, touching him, wanking him. Dean bites his lip. He imagines that Castiel bites his earlobe as he moves his hand along Dean’s shaft in a delicate but pleasurable way, trying to find what pleases Dean, what makes Dean to moan and lose his mind.

This is wrong, Dean knows it, but it feels good, too good. It would be better if Castiel was the one doing it. But Dean keeps stroking himself, feeling the length of his cock, moving his hand faster and faster. He strokes the head of his cock, it is really sensitive, he pinches it softly for a moment and he bites his lip again, avoiding a moan, before he keeps stroking himself, but this time in a harder way.

Soon he comes and he makes a silent orgasm with Castiel’s name on it. Luckily he didn’t do it loudly; if Cas heard him, Dean doesn’t know where he could hide. He arches his back as he comes, feeling the warmth and the pleasure of it. He is starting to pant, but he doesn’t care, this feels too good. So damn good.

He opens his eyes and he looks how the mess of his come is cleared by the falling water. He takes the shower as fast as he can; he doesn’t want Cas to suspect, although he is sure that Cas won’t be thinking about Dean jerking off, but Dean doesn’t want to stay longer in the bathroom than usually.

As he is dressing up, he thinks if he is going to be able to look at Cas’ face after this. Dean rubs his face. He feels guilty; he shouldn’t have done that. But he needed to get away from his boner and that was the only way. He couldn’t get rid of it with thinking about Bobby in pink panties. He makes a disgusted face as he pictures it. He will have to look as if nothing different happened today. Doesn’t he do things like that all the time? Doesn’t he pretend not to be in love with Cas? He can pretend something else.

Dean sighs. He hates pretending when he is with Cas and lying to him; he doesn’t pretend much or lie to him too much, only when it is necessary, like with the kiss thing, Dean said it was only a kiss, nothing else. But Dean hates lying to Cas.

He takes a deep breath and he gets out of the bathroom, like a normal day. Castiel is sitting on his bed, waiting for him. When he hears the door opening, he looks at Dean.

“Is your leg better?” Castiel asks.

Dean frowns confused before he realizes what Castiel is asking. “Yeah, yeah. Just a cramp. Sometimes it happens.” Dean answers.

Castiel stands. “Are you okay? You seem weird.”

Dean laughs. “Says the king of weirdness.” Castiel punches him in a friendly way and Dean laughs again. Joking is the best way to avoid the truth and that way, he can focus on Castiel’s smile. “C’mon, you know I say it in a good way.”

“I hate you.” He says smiling and rolling his eyes. Dean looks at him with an obvious way and Castiel squeezes his nose in an adorable way that Dean loves too much.

“You don’t.”

“I don’t. It is impossible to hate you.” He sighs with a beautiful smile. Dean blushes a little bit and he smirks shyly. “Come on, you must be starving.” He laughs.

For now, it seems easy to pretend as if Dean didn’t dream about Cas and as if Dean didn’t jerk off with the thought of Cas touching him. Castiel’s smile helps it. But the day has just started and Dean knows his mind; it can be quiet for a moment, but sooner or later, it will bring up the topic.

When they are having breakfast, Jo arrives to tell Castiel and Dean that once they finish breakfast, they will have to go to town to buy some stuff. Dean is happy and a bit annoyed by it. He is happy by the fact of spending time with Cas, but he is annoyed because the town is quite far and he knows that he will start thinking about what happened when he woke up. Dean thinks that the universe or karma hates him.

They finish their breakfast and Jo gives them money, the plastic card that shows they are slaves from the Harvelle family and the shopping list. After that, Castiel and Dean go to the main door and Jo opens it, and then, she opens the fence door. When they are out, she closes it and Castiel and Dean start to walk the road towards the town.

The sky is cloudy, but the temperature isn’t too cold. Sometimes there is a cool wind that blows softly, but nothing else. Castiel looks at the gray clouds and then at the sky, that today isn’t blue, it is colored in a light gray tune.

“I think it is going to rain.” Castiel says with a grimace.

Dean looks at the sky too. “What if it starts to rain while we are on the road?” He wonders.

“We will get wet.” Castiel simply answers.

Dean narrows his eyes and he dedicates Cas an obvious look. “Thanks for the observation, Sherlock.”

“You are welcome.”

Definitely, Castiel is teasing him. Dean can’t help a smirk. “Screw you.” He says laughing. Castiel smiles happily. Dean knows he always thinks this, but he will never get tired of that fucking beautiful smile. Never. He remembers how he could feel that gorgeous smile in his lips while they were kissing in the dream.

No. Right fucking now. No. This isn’t the moment or the place to think about any of it. He looks at Cas from the corner of his eyes; he is smiling. Would it be too wrong to feel that smile in a kiss? To kiss Cas again? To tell him that he wants him more than anything in this world? Why is he so scared?

He is scared of himself. Dean is scared of whatever he can do. He is scared of fucking things up and hurting Cas. If they end up together, there is the risk of them fucking everything up and the risk that somebody discovers them. If they weren’t in the Brown Lands, Dean knows he will nut up and tell Cas everything. Things would be easier if they weren’t in that stupid country.

In the dream everything was perfect, they were at Dean’s home, together; nothing else mattered. It was just the two of them, kissing, touching, smiling…

“Dean, are you sure that you are okay?” Castiel asks with his usual worried voice.

No, he is not okay. But he can’t tell Cas the real reasons of why he isn’t okay. Dean looks down and he sighs. “I dreamt with my home.” Dean finally says. It isn’t the whole story, he is avoiding the main thing about the dream, but it is better than lying to Cas.

Castiel’s eyes get sad. “Oh.” He simply says. He doesn’t know what to say. Castiel approaches Dean and he places his hand in Dean’s shoulder, stroking it gently, giving him the comfort he needs.

Dean makes a tiny smile and he looks at Castiel’s eyes. “Thanks.” He says with a soft voice and he sighs.

“I hate when you look sad.” Castiel starts to say. He pulls his hand away from Dean’s shoulder.

“Don’t worry. I’ll be fine in a while.” He lies. He will never be fine. He wants to go back to his home, he wants to have Cas in his home too; far away from all the crap from the Brown Lands. But he can’t have any of that.

Castiel wishes he could comfort Dean in a better way. He wishes he could take all his pain away from just one touch, but he can’t. He can’t give him fragile promises, he can’t tell him that they will find a way out, that Dean will be back to his home very soon. Castiel can’t give him promises made of glass, because if Dean grabs himself to those promises, they will break in million pieces and Dean will end up broken and hurt, falling apart.

The rest of the walk goes in completely silence. No one of them talks. Both of them are focused on their thoughts. It is really depressing, but they don’t know what to say or do to forget all that shit in their heads.

Soon, they are in the supermarket and they start to pick all the things from the shopping list. Most of them are things for the bathroom. A lot of toothpaste, gel, shampoo and toilet paper. Those things are consumed really fast and easily for the slaves. Jo and Crowley use different brands, more expensive. The slaves use the cheaper ones.

While they are shopping, Dean can’t take his eyes off Castiel, who is picking things while Dean is leaning his elbows in the shopping cart. This looks so normal. The two of them shopping together, like a couple or something. There are moments like this when Dean feels for a moment that he isn’t in the Brown Lands, that they are living their free lives together.

_And wouldn’t it be nice to live together, in the kind of world that we belong?_

Holy shit, he is getting sappy. He just sang in his mind a song from _The Beach Boys_. It’s been a long time since he listened to proper music. His body needs some _Led Zeppelin, AC/DC_ or _Black Sabbath_ soon. As if he is going to get any of that soon in that place.

“Dean.” Castiel says pulling from the other side of the shopping cart, making Dean to wake up from the thoughts. “Stop overthinking. You barely said a word since we left the house.” He says sadly.

Dean looks down. “Sorry.” He says trying to sound casual. He looks at Castiel’s eyes, all worried and too fucking blue. The thought of the dream hits his mind again. Today it is being like a rollercoaster for Dean. Soon he is thinking cheesy and sappy things and then, he thinks about kissing and making out with Cas and then depressing things. This is freaking nuts.

Castiel sighs. “Don’t make me get you into the shopping cart and start to run with it along the whole supermarket.” He says seriously.

Dean squints his eyes and then he starts to laugh softly. He places his hand in his nose, squeezing it softly and he closes his eyes. Then he looks at Castiel, who has a tiny smile. Dean is still laughing. “Would you really do that?” He teases and arching one of his brows.

“Yes, why not?” He smiles as his eyes go up, as if he was considering the idea. “We would get in trouble, but I would do it.”

Dean smiles bigger and he shakes his head. Then he sighs. “What would I do without you?” He asks in a sweet way. Castiel blushes and he shrugs. “Thank you.” He says after a while. Castiel’s eyes meet his. “For making me laugh.”

“You are always welcome.” He says shyly. He loves when Dean laughs and smiles. He loves when Dean shows happiness. He can’t stand with the idea of seeing Dean sad and frustrated. “Come on. We still have a few things to buy.”

Dean smiles and he pushes the shopping cart. Castiel is perfect. He is fucking perfect and awesome. Dean has really fallen for Cas. He has fallen for him more than he expected.

They keep buying the remaining items on the shopping list and then, they pay everything; of course, Castiel has to show the plastic card, if he didn’t, they wouldn’t be able to shop anything.

Luckily, this time, they aren’t carrying a lot of things like the last time they had to go to the supermarket, and most of the items don’t weigh so much, which is really good, because the way back to the house is really long, and carrying heavy stuff makes it longer than it is.

The sky is now covered with dark gray clouds, without any space between them, without any piece of sky leaking through them. The clouds are darker than before and the landscape is darker, only a few sunrays are able to leak through the dark clouds.

Soon, the smell of wet ground is overwhelming and Dean likes that smell. He closes his eyes for a moment, feeling how the familiar smell gets through his nose, sending a nice feeling along his body until he opens his eyes again. The smell is starting to be stronger. It is going to start to rain soon and they aren’t halfway.

In a few minutes, a few water drops start to fall and Dean and Cas look at the sky before they look at each other. The few water drops are hitting the floor gently, but in some seconds, more water drops start to fall and they hit heavier the floor, making the rain to be audible.

“What do we do now?” Dean asks looking at Castiel, whose messy hair is starting to get wetter and curlier.

“First of all, we have to make a knot in the plastic bags.” Castiel starts to explain as he leans the plastic bags on the floor. “That way water won’t soak anything.” He kneels and starts to make a knot in his plastic bags. Dean does the same. Both try not to leave any hole that the rain can find to soak all the things.

Dean looks at the sky. “I don’t think it’s going to stop soon.” He makes a grimace and he looks at Castiel, who is looking at the road.

Castiel looks up and closes his eyes for a moment, feeling how the rain falls down in his face. Being under the rain has always made him feel good. It has been years since he was under the rain. Every time that it rained, he was forced to stay indoors, but today he is outside, under the rain, and he smiles happily.

“Do you like the rain, Dean?” Castiel asks when he opens his eyes. He looks at Dean, all drenched, with some of his hair stuck to his forehead. Castiel has some curly black hair stuck to his forehead too.

“Yeah, I do.” Dean answers confused. Castiel smiles brightly.

Castiel approaches Dean. “Let’s stay under the rain for some minutes Dean. Let’s be free for some minutes.” He says with enthusiasm. He sounds as if he has just lost his mind, but he needs this, they need this. “Let’s forget the collars for a moment Dean.” He looks at Dean’s surprised green eyes. They are really close; Castiel can feel Dean’s breathing against his.

Dean is breathing in an agitated way. Castiel seems so full of life right now and Dean seems to have forgotten how to speak. Cas is so close, so fucking gorgeous under the rain that Dean can’t focus on anything else. Those blue eyes are looking at him in an expecting way, shinning with hope. Dean swallows after a while to speak. “Yeah.” He says. Castiel starts to smile. “Let’s forget everything for a moment.”

Castiel smiles brightly. He has to fight the urge of kissing Dean in that moment. Dean is so kissable right now, but Castiel moves away and he starts to twirl several times. Dean laughs loudly and Castiel smiles because he loves that sound more than anything. He stops and he looks at Dean, whose cheeks are red and he is still laughing, and all Castiel can do is start to laugh too.

While they are there, under the rain, laughing like idiots, they feel free. They feel really good. For a moment, nothing else matters, it is only the two of them, under the rain. There is nothing else, no one else, all that crap disappears for some moments. It is just water, falling from the sky, drenching them and it is the closest thing to freedom they will ever have in that country.

When Dean’s laughter is almost gone, he approaches Castiel, standing next to him while Castiel looks at him with an odd look. Dean catches Castiel’s arm, tangling both of their arms. Castiel blushes with that.

“Okay, I have always wanted to do something like this.” Dean confesses shyly. He raises one leg. “Raise your leg too.” He requests. Castiel complies. Now Dean lowers that leg and Castiel does the same, frowning in confusion. “Now raise the other leg.” Both of them raise the other leg. Then, he lowers that leg again and he raises the other one. “Now let’s try to do this as fast as we can.”

They start to move their legs, as if they were dancing under the rain and Castiel starts to laugh. This is so silly but at the same time is really funny. Dean soon joins that laughter as he says once in a while that Cas has to raise the other leg not the one he is raising. They don’t coordinate well at first, they have different speeds and the laughter makes it hard to do it at the same time, but after a while, they manage to do it at the same time.

“ _I’m singing in the rain, just singing in the rain…_ ” Dean starts to sing and Castiel looks at him with a lovely look accompanied with one of the prettiest smiles he has dedicated to Dean.

Castiel slips and Dean holds him, so Castiel doesn’t fall off. Castiel starts to laugh really loud and hysterically; he grabs Dean’s jacket, leaning his head in Dean’s shoulder. Dean starts to laugh too. Holy shit, they haven’t laughed like this ever.

When the laughing is fading away, Castiel sighs and he moves his head to stare at Dean, who turns his face to see Cas properly. They are all soaked, their hairs are a wet mess, their clothes are starting to be heavy with all the water that is drenching it, but they don’t care. This was great.

“We should get back.” Castiel says. He hates to break the moment, but sooner or later, they had to get back to reality. “I don’t think it will be healthy to stay under the rain the whole day.” He makes a tiny smile.

“Yeah, we don’t want to get the cold.” Dean says grinning.

Castiel picks his plastic bags and Dean picks his. They look at each other, hating to not being able to stay under the rain longer.

“We could make a race.” Dean suggests.

Castiel arches a brow. “Are you serious?”

“I’m serious. Let’s enjoy this a bit longer. The first one who arrives at the cypress that it is near the house, wins.” He proposes. Castiel makes a happy smile. “What do you think?”

“I like the idea.” He says content.

Dean smirks. “Look out, I don’t want to see you falling down and having to heal you.”

“I’ll be careful, don’t worry. Be careful you too.”

“I will. Okay. At three.” He says cockily. Castiel smirks. “One, two—” Castiel starts to run in that moment and Dean drops his mouth and he starts to run. “Don’t be a cheater! I said at three!” He yells impressed. He really didn’t expect that from Cas, who smirks and then, he sticks out his tongue, something that Dean finds hilarious. Cas is like a little kid sometimes.

Dean catches Castiel really soon and he smirks as they run together for a while. When both of them see the cypress, Dean runs faster, leaving Castiel behind, but Castiel doesn’t give up, so he starts to run faster, almost catching Dean. But Dean is faster and he arrives first to the cypress, but just a few seconds before Castiel.

When Castiel recovers his breath and he looks at Dean, he is smirking and Castiel punches his arm softly before he starts to walk.

“You are a bad loser, y’know?” Dean says as he walks next to Cas.

“And you are so cocky.” Castiel says raising his eyebrows.

Dean smiles and they look at each other. Then, they keep walking for a couple of minutes until they arrive to the house. They press the ring and the door opens. They run towards the porch and Jo opens the main door. She looks at them disgusted.

“Why are you wet?” She asks with her usual sick voice.

“It happens when it starts to rain and you don’t have an umbrella.” Castiel says with a bit of sass. Dean has to hold a smirk.

Of course, Jo glares him. “Leave those bags in the kitchen and go and change your clothes. I don’t want to have you around soaking everything.” She says pissed off.

Dean and Castiel comply what she said. They leave the plastic bags with all the bought items on the kitchen and then, they go to their bedroom to dry themselves and put on dry clothes. They are starting to feel a bit cold; they shouldn’t have stayed that long under the rain, but it was worth.

“Thank you.” Castiel says when Dean hands him a towel. He takes his jacket and his t-shirt off and then he covers himself with the towel. Dean’s eyes try not to look at Castiel’s naked chest, but he looks for some seconds before he starts to take off his clothes too.

“We should dry as much as we can.” Dean says as he starts to dry himself. Castiel is now the one looking at Dean’s chest, devouring it with his eyes. But he turns them away quickly; he doesn’t want Dean to notice the way he is looking at him.

Castiel starts to dry himself too. With every rub of the towel against his skin he feels less cold. He looks at Dean; he wishes Dean was drying him with the towel, or with his hands. He blushes and he swallows. He needs to cut down those thoughts. But watching Dean, shirtless, drying with a towel is hypnotic. Dean is really attractive. He is tall, he has the most beautiful eyes on earth, he is in shape, he is warmth, his hair is beautiful and he has lots of freckles. He looks at Dean’s pectoral and he sees the tattoo; a star circled by what it seems to be a sun or something like that. He has seen Dean’s shirtless a couple of times, when he arrives from the punishment room with all his back covered in blood and wounds. He was too focused on the wounds, that he never paid a lot of attention to the tattoo.

Dean catches his curious look. “What?” Dean says. Castiel is looking at his naked chest with a lot of attention and it is new for Dean.

“I never paid a lot of attention to your tattoo.” Castiel explains. “Every time I see you shirtless you are showing me your back.” He adds.

Dean makes a hussy and goofy smile. “Do you want me to show you my chest instead of my back?” He says in a flirting way. He is too freaking obvious sometimes.

“I didn’t mean that!” He blushes a lot and Dean laughs. “You are an assbutt.” He says looking as his jeans. He is going to take them off.

Dean turns over. He isn’t going to look at Castiel taking off his clothes. He doesn’t need to see him only with his underwear. The last thing he needs is to get hard again. So Dean focuses on drying himself.

Castiel, meanwhile, wonders what that tattoo means. He will have to ask Dean one of these days. Now he has to keep drying before he gets cold.

Dean is now taking off his jeans. Castiel isn’t looking at him; he is forcing himself to look at his own legs. They take off their clothes in front of each other every single night and they can’t look at each other in a normal way. Every time they see each other’s skin, they go mad and they want to touch it, to feel it and to kiss it and they have to look away to avoid all of that.

After some minutes of drying, they get dressed. Dean starts to laugh when he sees Castiel’s curly hair really messy and Castiel frowns unhappily.

“Sorry Cas, but you look too freaking cute with that hair.” Dean confesses. Castiel, like always, blushes with that comment. Dean approaches him and Castiel looks up, meeting the forest Dean’s eyes are made of. “Thank you for making me smile. Fuck, every day I sound cheesier…”

Castiel smiles. “Yes, you do. But I like it.”

Dean is now the one who blushes. Then, he looks down as he makes an honest smile. When he looks at Castiel’s eyes, he bites his lower lip. “We should walk under the rain more often.”

“Yes, we should.” Castiel says as he sinks himself in Dean’s eyes. They are really close again. He sighs and he moves away, because if they stay this close more time, Castiel is sure he will kiss Dean.

Dean’s heart aches a bit for that. Castiel moved away and Dean was about to kiss him. He couldn’t fight the urge. He was decided to do it. Some more seconds and his lips would have ended up on Castiel’s. But Castiel brought him back down to earth.  
“Dean.” Castiel says as he leans his back in the door.

“Yeah?” Dean says trying to sound casual.

Castiel takes a deep breath. “Back there, in the rain, it was one of the happiest moments in my life.” He confesses. Dean’s eyes open widely and they shine bright. He parts his lips, trying to say something, but Castiel interrupts him. “Don’t say it is cheesy.” He glares him.

Dean huffs a laugh. “I wasn’t going to say that.” Castiel makes a surprised look. “It was it for me too.” He admits. Castiel looks at him with love. “And yeah, that was cheesy.” He says approaching the door. Castiel smiles. “Talking about cheesy, I hope we have some mac and cheese for lunch.” He wishes with a thoughtful grimace.

Castiel laughs. “Always thinking about food.”


	19. Separated

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I always say the same, but I'm really thankful for all the people that reads, for the kudos, the bookmarks, the comments and the subscriptions. Thanks you so much.

Dawning arrived a couple of hours ago. The alarm clock won’t wake Castiel and Dean up until almost within two hours. Last night they stayed until almost midnight reading. Unluckily, they have read almost all the books. They wish they could have more, but they can’t. At least, those books are going to be there forever, so they can reread them whenever they want.

Right now, they are sleeping. Dean is having normal dreams, not nightmares or dreams where Castiel is kissing and touching him. But Castiel is dreaming about Dean, and the dream is really exciting.

The dream is a bit blurry and it is a bit ephemeral, as if it was made of smoke, but he can see Dean perfectly and he can feel him. They are in a big bed, a bed that Castiel doesn’t know, but he doesn’t care, because it isn’t any of the beds from the Harvelle’s mansion. Also, the black leather collars are gone. Dean and Castiel are free and they are together. Castiel is lying on the mattress while Dean is lying above him.

They are kissing and giggling in between kisses. Dean is hungry for touching Castiel, his hands are tracing everywhere he can reach. And Castiel is doing the same with Dean. He wants to touch every single little part of Dean’s body, to memorize it with his hungry fingers.

Suddenly, Dean’s hand starts to get under Castiel’s boxers as they kiss and Castiel moans. Dean is so warm and gentle. He likes the way Dean touches him. He feels Dean’s smirk in his lips as they kiss and Castiel smiles. He loves when he can feel Dean’s smirk or smile while they kiss; it is a marvelous feeling.

Castiel has to pull his mouth away from Dean’s to let out a moan when Dean’s hand goes downer and he touches gently his cock. This is new to Castiel. He likes how that touch makes him feel, how aroused and hot he is feeling. Dean’s touches are wonderful.

He rocks his hips and Dean likes that, his rogue smile shows it. He leans to kiss Castiel’s mouth again as he keeps touching Castiel in that pleasurable way. Castiel moans louder this time and he wakes up.

Castiel is panting and really hot. He turns over to see Dean’s bed. Dean is sleeping soundly in his bed. He didn’t hear Castiel, who feels a huge relief. He sits down in bed and he runs his hand through his hair and then he rubs his face. He dreamt with Dean kissing and touching him. He never dreamt something like that before. He never had sexual dreams ever. And the first one was with Dean. Oh God.

He is agitated and really hot. Castiel has never felt this hot ever, this arousing. He opens his eyes widely and with his hands he touches his crotch as he feels a sudden fear running his whole body. He is hard. He got hard by dreaming with Dean. This is awful. What is he going to do?

Castiel looks at the alarm clock. In something more than fifteen minutes it will ring. That is enough time to go to the shower and to masturbate. He can’t believe he is going to masturbate, but he doesn’t know what else he can do and he isn’t going to wait for Dean to wake up and ask him that. He is definitely not going to do that. It would be the most awkward thing for both of them.

He gets up from his bed, trying to not make any sound at all. If Dean wakes up and sees Castiel has a boner… Castiel doesn’t want to think about it. He walks on the tip of his tiptoe towards the wardrobe to pick clean clothes. His heart is beating fast when the door of the wardrobe creaks. You never realize how loud your daily actions are until you make them while someone is sleeping and you don’t want to wake him up.

Luckily, Dean is sleeping soundly and he doesn’t hear Castiel, who walks towards the bathroom and he closes the bathroom’s door as quiet as possible. He takes a relieved breath when he is in the bathroom. This is the worst. He didn’t have enough with thinking about kissing Dean that now, he has to dream with Dean touching him and he is going to jerk off in the shower thinking about Dean.

Castiel starts to get undressed and he gets in the shower, seeing how the water starts to fall. He touches it with his feet to check the temperature. Some seconds pass and the water temperature is the right one, Castiel gets under the falling hot water.

He looks at his cock. He has never masturbated; he knows how to do it, but this is new to him. What if he doesn’t do it properly and the erection doesn’t go away? But it doesn’t have to be really complicated. He just has to touch himself. Nothing else. It isn’t something complicated. If Dean could see him right now, knowing what he is thinking, Castiel knows that Dean would be on the floor laughing hysterically.

Castiel sighs and he starts to touch his cock softly, feeling with the tips of his fingers the length of the shaft. This doesn’t feel bad, actually it feels quite good. He closes his fingers along his cock and he moves his hand up and down a couple of times. That felt even better. He closes his eyes and he parts his lips as he keeps stroking himself. Yes, this is really good, better than he expected. The pleasure is extremely good.

Unconsciously, Castiel starts to imagine that the hand in his cock isn’t his; it is Dean’s, which starts to move faster. Castiel can picture Dean in front of him, touching him like nobody has ever touched him, all naked and wet, kissing him while he strokes Castiel’s cock, looking at him with that intense green sight of his, making Castiel moan and feel better than in his whole life.  
Castiel is starting to pant. He imagines how Dean’s other hand touches his chest as he kisses his jawline, without stopping for a single moment to move up and down his hand in Castiel’s cock. Nothing of that is real, the only thing real is Castiel’s hand on his cock, but the masturbation feels better when Castiel imagines that Dean is the one giving him all that pleasure. That Dean is there, doing all of that.

Soon Castiel comes and he feels great. He makes a moan, a bit loud at first, but soon he makes it low, being almost inaudible. He has never come before and that feeling left after masturbation is really satisfying. It would be even more satisfying if Dean was the one who touched Castiel, but right now, Castiel feels quite good. He now understands why Dean was so surprised when Castiel told him that he never jerked off.

He opens his eyes and he releases his softening erection. He is breathing heavily. The hot water feels better than usually in his body. That felt good, although he shouldn’t have thought about Dean touching him while he was masturbating. He is going to feel the guilt all the day. He hopes that this accident won’t happen again.

Castiel keeps taking the shower and soon he finishes. He gets out and he hears Dean knocking the bathroom door.

“Cas? Cas, are you okay?” Dean says worried.

Castiel grabs a towel and he puts it around his waist. He opens the door and Dean looks at him with his eyes open widely and he blushes. “Yes Dean, I’m okay.” Castiel answers.

Dean swallows. Cas is wet and shirtless. The perfect picture. Why does he have to be so fucking hot? Dean feels how his mouth goes dry. “Uhm—” He starts to say. He is always unable to make normal sounds or to speak like a normal person when Castiel is shirtless. Or when they are too fucking close. “I woke up and I didn’t see you and I was worried.” He finally manages to say. He tries so hard to look at Castiel’s face, but all that naked and humid skin is really striking and tempting.

“Oh, sorry.” Castiel rubs his face. He has to look as normal as possible. He can’t tell Dean the truth. “I woke up earlier than usually because I really needed to use the toilet and I took a shower. There were fifteen minutes left, it was nonsense to go back to bed.” He explains casually. He is surprised by how easy the lie came out.

“O—okay.” He stutters. He looks like a freaking idiot. “Well, keep— yeah, well y’know.” He says nervously and really blushed. It is impossible for Dean to act like a normal person when Cas is shirtless.

Castiel narrows his eyes and he tilts his head. He doesn’t understand why Dean is so nervous and so blushed. Dean just makes an uncomfortable grimace and he turns over to make his bed. Castiel shakes his head and he closes the door and he starts to get dressed.

Dean, meanwhile, as he makes his bed, he is trying so hard not to think about Castiel with his hair curly and wet, like it looked like a couple of days ago when they were under the rain, about how handsome he was, about his naked chest, with all that skin to touch and kiss. He needs to think about anything else, but he can’t. He really doesn’t want to jerk off on the shower again thinking about Cas.

Dean takes a deep breath and he starts to count as he keeps making his bed. It works, and by the time he is on thirty six, the picture of Castiel being shirtless and wet is gone. He should try to do this every time he starts to feel aroused next to Cas.

The rest of the morning goes as usually, Dean takes his shower while Castiel makes his bed and then, they go to the kitchen to have breakfast together. After that, Dean goes to the garage and Castiel goes to the garden. It is the same routine like always, although Castiel can’t take away what he did this morning, but he knew this was going to happen, sooner or later his mind will let it go. Or not. This is going to be like the kiss. He will forget it for a moment and then, the memory will hit him again.

When there are a couple of minutes left for lunch, Castiel goes to the garage to find Dean, with his charming smile that dedicates to Cas every time he arrives to the place. Dean stops what he is doing and he and Castiel go to the kitchen. But today, before they arrive to the kitchen, Jo appears.

“Castiel.” She says with her distant and superior tune. Castiel’s and Dean’s smiles disappear immediately. “I need to talk to you in private for some minutes.” She looks at Dean with her usual glare, telling him with her eyes to leave.

Dean doesn’t like how the word private sounded. He looks at Castiel, who gives him a look that Dean knows it means ‘don’t worry’. Dean looks once again at Jo before he looks at Castiel. “I’ll be in the kitchen.” Dean finally says.

He hears how Jo and Castiel walk towards the living room. Dean isn’t sure what it is going on, but he doesn’t like it. He just hopes that it won’t be something that ends up hurting Castiel. He fucking wishes that it isn’t that.

For lunch there are dumplings, which Dean recognizes from buying them with Cas the first day they went shopping, and sautéed vegetables like carrots, broccoli, peas, green beans and zucchini. He is starting to acquire the taste for sautéed vegetables; they aren’t that bad, it is much worse when they are cooked in any other way. He is eating rabbit food. He can’t still believe it. If Sam or Bobby could see him right now they would ask, _who are you and what have you done to Dean Winchester?_ Dean smiles in a nostalgic way with that thought.

Soon, Castiel arrives and Dean raises his sight from his food to look at Castiel’s eyes. It isn’t something good, he knows that face expression, he can see the worry in those eyes made of a blue sea. Dean feels a small puncture in his heart. Castiel sits down, in front of Dean.

“I’m leaving.” Castiel says.

Dean drops the fork. This can’t be real. Castiel can’t leave. He can’t. Dean needs him. Without Cas, Dean doesn’t know how to keep going. Fear is running his whole body, and he feels broken and too small. He doesn’t want Castiel to leave. His chest is feeling tight and it hurts to breathe. Even the kitchen seems to be spinning a little. He doesn’t know how he manages to speak. “What?” Dean says with a broken voice.

Castiel can see the terror in Dean’s eyes. “I’m leaving for a couple of days.” He explains.

Dean breathes relieved, only a couple of days, it isn’t as terrible as he thought, but fear is still running his body and he doesn’t like the idea of Cas leaving, even if it is only for a couple of days. “Why?”

Castiel sighs and looks down. “A friend of Jo wants me for her garden, so she’s taking me a couple of days.” He doesn’t want to go. He wants to stay with Dean. What if something happens to Dean? Castiel won’t be there to help him. That scares him.

“When do you leave?” He asks scared.

Castiel’s eyes meet Dean’s. “After I finish lunch.” He says devastated. Another puncture hurts Dean’s heart. “I have to make my luggage bag.”

Dean opens his mouth, he wants to tell him a lot of things, to ask him a lot of questions, but he can’t; words are stuck in his throat. He looks down, trying to analyze the situation. Castiel is going to be out for a couple of days; nothing else. But Dean knows that nothing is as simple as it might seem in the Brown Lands. What if Castiel gets hurt? What if that Jo’s friend wants to keep Castiel with her forever? What if Dean can’t see Castiel ever again? What if Castiel gets killed there?

He has lost his appetite and Castiel seems to have lost his as well. Dean sighs and without thinking it twice, he places his hand above Castiel’s, stroking it slightly, something that makes Castiel to open his eyes widely, surprised. The warmth of Dean’s skin is overwhelming and great.

“You will come back, right?” Dean asks sounding needier than ever.

“I will.” Castiel says. “She can’t have me forever. I’m from the Harvelle’s family. Unless Jo and Crowley die, no one else can have me. But they can lend me for a couple of days.” He explains. Dean looks so scared.

Dean pulls his hand away and he sighs relieved. “Okay.” He forces a tiny smile. Castiel will come back. That’s a huge relief, although the fears of Castiel being hurt are still there. Dean rubs his face. He wishes that nothing wrong happens to Cas, to his Cas. He doesn’t deserve any pain.

Finally, they eat, even if their appetites are gone, but they must eat. They eat in complete silence. They don’t know what to say. The thought of being separated hurts them, even if they know that they will see each other in a couple of days, but there are a lot of fears. If something bad happens, they won’t be together to help each other, they will be alone, without knowing how bad the other one is. What if something happens and this is the last time they see each other? They know they are overreacting, but they have lived a lot of awful things that they don’t trust anyone from this country. It is very possible that nothing bad will happen, they know it, but still…

When they finish their lunch, both of them go to their bedroom. Dean knows he should be in the garage, but he wants to stay with Cas and say goodbye to him.

Castiel is packing all the clothes he thinks he will need while Dean is sitting in Castiel’s bed, watching him. “Are you sure that she will bring you back?” Dean asks.

“If she doesn’t bring me back, Jo will come for me. Or Crowley.” Castiel answers in a serious voice. “She only wants me to fix her garden.”

Dean sighs and he looks down at his hands. “I don’t like the idea of you going to a house that you don’t know to fix a garden.” He confesses.

“I don’t like it either.” He takes a deep breath and he closes his luggage bag. Dean looks at Castiel’s face when he hears that sound. “But I have to go. I don’t want to be punished for resisting. One way or another I have to go. With or without punishment. And I’d rather go without punishment.”

Dean stands up. “Yeah, I know. I understand, but—” He sighs and he places his hand in his nose. Castiel squints his eyes. “I don’t trust anyone from this country.”

“I don’t either.” Castiel says looking down.

Dean takes a deep breath and he hugs Castiel, who hugs him back. He leans his face in Dean’s shoulder as Dean tightens him. “Take care, Cas.” He says with a breathy voice.

Castiel takes a deep breath before he moves his face away from Dean’s shoulder. “Take care you too, Dean.”

They pull away and they stare at each other’s eyes, filled with sadness and a bit of fear. Neither of them wants this. They want to stay together. It will be only a couple of days, but it still hurts like hell.

Castiel picks his luggage and he goes towards the door, leaving Dean in the bedroom. He walks towards the main door, where Jo and her friend, Lilith, are waiting for him.

“Are you ready, Castiel?” Lilith asks with soft voice and a creepy smile. Castiel knows that smile; it is the same the Master used to have. And the look in her eyes is the same.

Castiel nods. He doesn’t know if he can speak, so he just nods. He doesn’t like Lilith; there are a lot of features in her expressions that reminds Castiel of the Master. It is only a coincidence. Everyone in the Brown Lands has those expressions, those creepy and smug expressions. Castiel knows it well.

“Give him back as soon as he ends up your tasks.” Jo says. She sounds friendly. She only sounds like that when she is with her friends.

“Don’t worry Jo. I will. He is all yours.” She smiles in that creepy way. She leans to give two kisses in Jo’s cheeks as a farewell. “Come on Castiel.”

Castiel follows her. Her hair is blonde, long and curly, her mouth is big and her light eyes are filled with something dark that Castiel hopes not to see. They walk towards the car, which is parked inside the estate. Castiel looks at the garage and he sees Dean, with his sad face. He is waving at him softly and Castiel raises his hand.

“In the backseat, please.” Lilith says before she gets in the driver’s seat.

Castiel complies and he sits in the backseat, leaving his backpack in between his feet. He looks at the garage again through the window. Dean is still looking at him. Castiel can’t see him too well, but he knows that Dean is really sad and a bit scared too.

Once Lilith starts the car, the luxury gate opens and Castiel sees how the house starts to be behind him, how they are leaving it further as Lilith drives, how he is leaving Dean. It is going to be just a couple of days, but Castiel doesn’t want to be far from Dean; he needs him.

Maybe it will be good for him to be some days away from Dean, maybe he will stop thinking about him for a while, maybe he won’t have a dream like today’s again, maybe he will start thinking less about kissing Dean, about being with him like a couple. He must be really stupid if he truly believes any of that.

Dean sees how the car disappears and a sudden cold gets in his body. He is all by himself in that house for the first time. Cas is gone. He hasn’t felt this alone since he was captured. And he knows that Cas is feeling alone too. He hopes that Cas will arrive soon and that nothing bad happens to him.

 

Lilith’s house isn’t too far, just half an hour by car. The house isn’t as big as the Harvelle’s, but it is really big too. When they arrive, the first thing that Lilith does is to show him the small bedroom where Castiel will have to stay. He doesn’t have to share it with anyone and it is warmer than the one in the Harvelle’s.

After that, Lilith shows him the poor garden. It is in really bad conditions. She explains that the slave that took care of the garden died several months ago and she hasn’t found anyone who can replace him, that’s why Castiel is here, to fix the garden because it is urgent for the garden to look as perfect as it used to be.

When Castiel sees the garden, with all the hedges unpruned, with the trees with sick branches and the plants in bad conditions, he knows he is going to stay in that house for several days, and he doesn’t like that idea. There is a lot of to be done in the garden, furthermore, Lilith has like fifty plants, from roses to tulips to gardenias in pots that she wants to add in the garden. That will take a lot of time. His hopes of coming back to Dean soon disappear as Lilith keeps explaining him all his tasks.

“Jo has told me that you are pretty good in this, so I’m going to suppose that you will do a good job.” Lilith starts to say. They are in the garage, where apparently, she keeps all the gardening tools. “If you do something that I don’t like, I will punish you, I will tell Jo and she will punish you too, understand?” Her eyes are fixed on Castiel’s, trying to intimidate him.

Castiel nods in a serious way. He was conscious about that from the first moment. He knows how things in the Brown Lands work.

“Okay. Then, you can start now. Dinner is served at eight o’clock.” She says with that smug face of hers.

Lilith leaves and Castiel starts to pick all the tools he is going to need. He loves working in gardens, but he hates that those gardens belong to cruel and horrible people. He will have to do a great job and work really hard. The sooner he finishes, the sooner he will be back to Dean.

Dean. Thinking about him is what motivates Castiel. He will make a great job because that will mean no punishment and seeing Dean. He just hopes that none of these days it will rain, that only will delay him and he doesn’t want to stay longer than he should. It is going to take a lot of time to Castiel to make this garden shine like a diamond.

 

It is almost suppertime. Dean is still thinking about Cas, wondering how is he doing, if he is all right, how much it will take him to come back. Cas has been gone for a couple of hours and Dean is already hoping Castiel will arrive for suppertime. He is freaking stupid. Castiel won’t come back in a couple of days, if he is lucky.

Dean sighs. He misses Cas a lot. They never see while Dean is working on the garage, but knowing that Cas won’t arrive to the garage, with that cute smile of his, to tell him it’s suppertime, makes Dean feel bad. He is too worried about him. He didn’t see that woman properly, but he doesn’t trust her and if she hurts Cas he will… What will he do? He can’t do a fucking single thing. Dean takes a deep breath.

“Be careful, Cas. Just be fucking careful.” Dean murmurs.

When he goes to the kitchen, Azazel and Alastair are smirking. Those dicks know that Castiel isn’t at the house and they are really enjoying it. But Dean ignores them, like he always does. He sits in his spot and he serves himself some pork steaks with mashed potatoes.

Dean hates not having Cas in front of him, smiling at him once in a while, laughing if Dean does something funny, looking at him with his curious eyes, talking to him in a low voice in order to be only heard by Dean. Fuck, Dean misses him too much already; these days without Cas are going to be the worst.

“Your pretty friend has abandoned you, right Dean?” Alastair says. All the other slaves laugh with that, like monkeys trying to get their bananas. Dean glares him. “You are so sad without him. Don’t worry, he will come back. With a lot of wounds and close to death.” He smiles, showing his teeth.

Dean spikes his fork in the table and all the slaves look at him. Alastair’s smile isn’t as marked as before. “Keep talking bullshit like that and I swear I will stab you.” Dean says with a scary fierce voice.

“I will tell miss Harvelle.” He threatens.

Dean smiles. “Go. Tell her.” He says really cocky. Alastair’s smile is completely gone; he doesn’t understand why Dean is saying that. “What’s one more punishment? I have nothing to lose.” Actually he has something to lose; Castiel. But he isn’t here right now and nobody can use Cas against him. “C’mon Alastair, you brave man, go and tell blondie everything. Tell her that you can’t protect yourself, show everyone how strong you are, how brave Alastair is.” He says with sarcasm.

The silence is huge. Nobody says a word and it seems that everyone has forgotten how to breathe. Dean picks the fork, removing it from the table and he keeps eating. The rest of the slaves act as if nothing happened at all. Even Alastair is pretending that Dean hasn’t humiliated him in front of everyone.

Once he has finishes his dinner, Dean goes to his bedroom, he locks the door and he goes to the bathroom, to relieve himself and brush his teeth. Then, he starts to take off his clothes and he looks at Castiel’s bed. Castiel would be now taking off his clothes too and Dean would be trying so hard not to look how Castiel is getting undressed.

Dean raises his head to look through the window. The moon is full and the sky is clear, there are a lot of stars shining bright in the night sky. Dean never realized how starry the nights are in the Brown Lands. He doesn’t know where Cas is, but he just hopes he is all right.

He looks back to Castiel’s bed and he bites his lower lip. He should sleep in his own bed, not in Castiel’s. But he wants to sleep in Castiel’s bed so bad. It will be only for tonight, Dean promises. Only tonight. Cas isn’t there and Dean misses him and he is freaking worried about him; he needs something that reminds him of Cas. Holy shit, he is really sappy sometimes.

Dean switches off the lights and he gets in Castiel’s bed. It smells like Cas and that is really good. Cas’ smell is always nice, like cotton, rain and garden. It is a wonderful smell. Dean closes his eyes, feeling how Castiel’s smell intensifies and his body seems to relax.

“Goodnight Cas.” Dean whispers.

 

After a long afternoon in the garden pruning just half of the hedges, there are a lot of hedges in that garden, Castiel ate with a lot of devotion his dinner. If Dean was there, he knows he would have laughed or he would have made a sarcastic comment. Also there was the fact that he barely ate anything for lunch, although he forced himself too, but he couldn’t eat too much.  
Like in the Harvelle’s house, Castiel sat apart from the other slaves, as far as he could. All the slaves gave him sick looks, but Castiel is too used to that. It wasn’t something new to him; he just ignored them.

The bad part was that Dean wasn’t with him and dinner wasn’t the same. He wonders if it was the same for Dean today, when he arrived at the kitchen and had to eat all by himself.

When he arrives at his bedroom, although is warmer than the one in the Harvelle’s house, Castiel feels cold. Dean isn’t there and everything is in black and white and really cold. He is being cheesy, he knows it, but it is the truth; without Dean, there isn’t happiness, there is a huge and cold darkness in Castiel.

He sighs and he does everything he does usually before getting in bed. When he in is his bed, with all the lights off, he can’t stop thinking about Dean, wondering if he has been punished or not. Dean is far and Castiel hates it. He hates not having Dean there with him. He feels so cold, so alone. He has felt all of that for almost his whole life until Dean appeared, and now, Dean isn’t with him and he feels as shitty as always.

Castiel closes his eyes and he starts to tell himself, it will be only a few days, only a few days, then, he will be back to Dean. He will see his smile. He will feel his warmth. He will hear his voice. He will be with him again.

It is really strange. During his whole life in the Harvelle’s house, Castiel has dreamt about getting away from that place, and now, he wants to come back. But he doesn’t want to come back to that house; he wants to come back to Dean.

The impact that Dean has caused to his life is huge. It is bigger than anything Castiel has ever lived. He is deeply in love with Dean, who is his first love, and he is sure that Dean will be the only one. Castiel never thought Dean could change his whole life when he saw him from the first time, he never thought that Dean would become one of the most important parts of his life. That he won’t be able to live without him.

Castiel sighs. Being away from Dean doesn’t help to stop thinking about him. It only makes him think about him even more. Although it makes easier not to think about the dream and what happened in the shower if Dean isn’t there. It is the only good thing about it. He closes his eyes and he pretends that there is another bed in that bedroom and that Dean is in it.

Castiel falls asleep after a while, after telling to himself that he will see Dean again.


	20. Slumber Party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you so much for reading, for the kudos, for the cooments, for the bookmarks and for the subscriptions. Thanks a lot :)

Four days have passed since Castiel left the house and for Dean it seems like four years. Time without Cas passes really slow. Days last longer and Dean hates waking up without Cas, without that cocky smile he makes when Dean is still lingering in bed. Dean hates having to eat alone. He hates how quiet everything is; there’s only silence. He hates going to the bedroom and finding it colder than usually because Castiel isn’t there. He hates not seeing Cas smiling, not hearing his voice, not having those eyes looking at him, not hearing him come to the garage. He misses him so fucking much.

The other slaves keep glaring at Dean. Since what happened the first night Cas wasn’t there, everyone glares him even more, but Dean ignores them; he doesn’t need their bullshit.

Dean only slept in Castiel’s bed the first night. It was tempting to sleep in it again; sleeping with the smell of Cas in the sheets and in the pillow was really heartwarming, but Dean knows it is a bit creepy to do that. He hates seeing Castiel’s bed empty every night and every morning. He wants his best friend back soon.

Today it is a cloudy and cold day. Dean is wearing three layers, a t-shirt, a shirt and a jacket. He likes to work with the garage door opened, but today it is really cold for that. He sighs as he tries to fix a rusty engine from a 1971 Dodge Charger. Crowley has really good cars; but no one of them beats Dean’s 1967 Chevrolet Impala. He misses his baby a lot. The feeling of being behind the wheel, listening to his rock tapes as he drives; that was freedom.

He is sure he will never do that again. Dean takes a deep breath. Now it isn’t the moment to think about that. Cas isn’t here and Dean can’t just panic. He needs to focus on anything. Like Castiel’s smile. That’s good; that works. Fuck, he wants Cas back right fucking now.

 

Castiel is exhausted. He hasn’t stopped working on the garden for days. He only stopped when it was time to eat or time to go to bed. He wanted to finish as soon as he could. He ate as fast as he could so he could start working on the garden as soon as possible. It didn’t work too well the first day because he almost threw up his breakfast, so he started to eat a bit slower and his body got used to it. He needed to finish the garden as soon as possible. He needed to see Dean as soon as possible and the only way for that was to finish the garden as quick as possible.

Lilith didn’t punish him or anything, in fact she seemed to be glad with Castiel’s work, something relieving for Castiel. Working without that pressure helped a lot, although there was always the risk about doing something wrong that Lilith didn’t like and Castiel would have been punished, but there wasn’t a punishment.

Right now, he is putting the last plant of roses. It was in a flowerpot and Castiel had to move it from there to the garden. He looks at the ground, moving it, so the roots are perfectly covered with the ground. He stands up and he looks at the garden. He has just finished. He can’t help a smile with that. After those long days, he has finished. Finally.

Castiel saves everything in the garage, he washes his hands with the hose and he goes into the house to find Lilith, who is concentrated in her laptop.

“Lilith.” Castiel says. Lilith doesn’t like to be called by miss or anything like that, so Castiel has to call her Lilith. Also, Lilith likes that slaves only speak when it is extremely necessary. The rest of the time, slaves must be quiet unless she requires them to talk.

Lilith moves her sight away from the computer. “Is it done?” She asks with disbelief. Castiel nods. “All right. Let’s see it.” She says standing up.

Both of them walk towards the garden. Castiel is nervous. He doesn’t know Lilith too well, but he knows that she can change her mind in any second. In his opinion, the garden looks beautiful, but he isn’t the one who has to like it; it is Lilith.

“I must admit you have talent, Castiel.” Lilith says with satisfaction. She walks around the garden, paying attention to every single small detail, nodding in approval. “You have done a really good job. I’m surprised.” She adds. Castiel feels more and more relieved as he sees how glad Lilith is, although he is still tense. “And you have done it really fast.” She stops to admire the garden. She makes a surprised grin and then she looks at Castiel. “Go and pack your things. I will take you back to Jo’s house now.”

Castiel nods and then, he turns over to go towards his bedroom. There’s a big smile in his face. He is going to see Dean again. His wonderful Dean. After four long and exhausting days, he will see Dean again. He is really happy.

He packs everything really fast, not caring if the clothes are well folded, he doesn’t give a damn, because he is going back to Dean. He is so happy he could even jump in the bed. Maybe he and Dean will do that when he comes back. Well, they shouldn’t; Castiel doesn’t know if their beds will resist it if they start jumping on them. It would be hilarious, but they should better not do it.

Castiel leaves the bedroom, with the bright smile on his face. He has to make a poker face in front of Lilith; he can’t look like he is happy to leave her, he has to look like always, without any expression at all, hiding his real face. He always does that, except with Dean; with Dean, he doesn’t have to fake.

It is hard to hide his smile. He couldn’t get out of his mind Dean during all the time he spent in Lilith’s house. He worked really hard, really quick, trying not to make any mistake as he worked on the garden; he did it for Dean, for seeing him as soon as possible. He has never missed anyone as much as he missed Dean for these four days. They were just four days, but they seemed to last longer. Waking up without Dean, eating without him, going back to the bedroom without Dean was really strange and it was impossible to Castiel to get used to it. Dean’s absence was really noticeable. Since Dean and Castiel became friends, Castiel finds it really hard to live without him. He knows how silly it sounds, but it is the truth; without Dean, Castiel’s life has no sense at all, it has no meaning.

But when he arrives at the main door, he hides his smile as hard as he can. He has been wearing a poker face for a lot of years; he can wear it again in front of Lilith. But there is a lot of happiness in Castiel and also, there is anticipation. Dean. He is going to see Dean in less than an hour and his heart is beating really fast.

“Come on Castiel, Jo must be waiting for you.” Lilith says as she opens the main door.

Castiel nods. They walk towards the garage and they get in the car. Of course, Lilith is in the driver’s seat and Castiel in the backseat. When the car starts, Castiel watches how Lilith’s house starts to get behind and soon, Castiel sinks himself in the landscape, moving fast, being a mix of blurry images painted with the autumn’s colors and with the cloudy and gray sky.

He smiles timidly as he imagines Dean’s face when he sees him. Dean looked so sad when he left, he even hugged him. He hugged him really tight, as if he was afraid of not seeing Cas again, as if he wanted Cas not to leave his arms. Let’s be honest, Castiel was afraid of not seeing Dean again, although he knew that he will come back, sooner or later, but there was that fear with him all the time.

Also, there is still the fear of seeing that Dean was hurt while Castiel was away. He hopes that Dean wasn’t taken to the punishment room. He really wishes that. He can’t even imagine how hard it could be to Dean to get back to the lonely bedroom, all hurt, bleeding, without anyone to take care of him. Castiel’s heart hurts with that thought.

 _Let him be okay._ Castiel thinks. _Please, be okay Dean._

He feels more nervous and more nervous as they are approaching the Harvelle’s mansion. His heart is beating even faster than before. Anticipation and a bit of fear are the feelings making his heart go that fast. He is coming back to Dean. He can’t still believe it. In his experience, nothing goes as easy as this, he is expecting something bad to happen, something that makes impossible to go back to Dean. Castiel’s life has always been like that; when he thinks he is going to have his happiness back, something or someone takes it away.

But it seems that everything is going good, for the first time in his life. It isn’t good to be back to that monstrous house, he is aware of that, but Dean is there, and that’s the only thing that matters. Maybe, for the first time in his life, everything goes right; there won’t be anything avoiding his little happiness, nothing will avoid going back to Dean.

When they are in the luxurious gate, Lilith gets out of the car, to ring the bell and soon, the gates are opened and Lilith gets the car in the state. When she parks, she and Castiel get out of the car. Castiel looks at the garage, which gate is closed; the afternoon is cold, so Dean must have closed it to avoid being cold.

Lilith and Castiel walk towards the porch and she knocks the door. After some seconds, Crowley is the one who opens the door. The look he gives to Lilith is filled with disgust. He doesn’t like her too much.

“My daughter Jo is in town buying.” Crowley says contemptuously.

Lilith smiles in a smug way. “I’m not here for her.” Lilith says. “I’m here to get Castiel back. Jo lent him to me.”

Crowley looks suspiciously at Lilith and then he looks at Castiel before looking at the blonde woman again. “Did she give you any contract?”

“No.”

Castiel opens his eyes widely in surprise. Jo didn’t give her a contract to show that she was lending Castiel. That’s illegal. He looks at Crowley, whose eyes are showing more rage than usually.

“She said it was unnecessary.” Lilith adds.

“Next time, if you want any of our slaves, you tell me and not my daughter. You can’t take them without a contract.” He says furiously. “Get inside the house Castiel.” Castiel obeys. “Get out Lilith. And good afternoon.” He smiles in a forced way and he closes the door in front of her and then, he turns to face Castiel. “I suppose you thought she made her sign a loan contract.”

“Yes sir.” Castiel says. Crowley makes an unhappy grimace. “She told me that everything was agreed and that I will spend some days serving Lilith.” He explains. It is the truth; Jo told him those words and that he would have to work in the garden for her friend. Castiel knows that if you lend a slave, there must be a loan contract signed by the person who will have that borrowed slave. Slave’s possession is something really important in the Brown Lands, and if someone steals you a slave, there will be huge consequences.

“And you didn’t ask her?” Crowley asks pissed off.

“No sir. I am just a slave. I have no right or will to question anything my masters do.” He knows that sentence too well. The Master always told him that when Castiel showed any resistance against him and Castiel knows that people with white collars like to hear that sentence. He has heard it so many times in the Master’s voice, that he knows how it must be said.

Crowley smiles happily with that sentence. He might not care a lot of about the slaves in his house; he is more concerned with the ones working for him in his factory, but after all, the slaves in his house are his too, and he feels proud when he sees how much power he has.

“You are right.” Crowley says happily. “Go and leave all your things and do whatever you are supposed to do.” He finally says.  
Castiel nods. He goes to his bedroom and when he opens the door, he feels Dean’s scent in it. He missed that smell. It isn’t really strong, but it is there and Castiel smiles happily at the familiar and nice smell. He closes his eyes for a moment to feel the smell better and his smile gets bigger.

After that, he leaves his luggage on his bed, he doesn’t unpack anything; he just wants to see Dean as soon as possible. He looks at the alarm clock in Dean’s bedside table. Suppertime will be in something less than ten minutes. He smiles and he leaves the bedroom as fast as he can and he walks towards the garage.

Before he opens the door, the one in the hall that leads to the garage, his heart is beating really fast again; there’s that anticipation once again. Dean is behind that door and he can’t believe he is going to finally see him. He is going to see those gorgeous eyes again, that beautiful smile again, those freckles again, he is going to hear that wonderful voice again. He can’t wait. He opens the door slowly, trying not to be heard; he wants to surprise Dean.

Dean is working on a car, like always, very focused on it. He doesn’t hear Castiel opening the door, so Castiel approaches him a little bit, trying to walk as quiet as he can. He stops, being in the part where the car ends.

“Hello Dean.” Castiel says.

Dean moves his sight away from the engine as soon as he hears that voice. That voice he has missed during these days. He walks some steps, until he is front of Cas. Holy shit, Cas is there. “Cas.” Dean says with a smile and sounding as he can’t believe that his best friend is there.

Castiel smiles shyly. Suddenly, Dean walks really fast the distance that separates them and he gives him a tight hug that Castiel loves too much and he hugs him back. Neither of them can’t stop smiling. It feels great to see each other after four long days.  
Dean nuzzles the side of Castiel’s face. This goes beyond friendship, but he doesn’t care right now, because Cas is there again, and both of them are so happy to see each other. Castiel loves how Dean nuzzles his face and he strokes gently the end of Dean’s hair. They are trying to convince themselves that they are there, together, that they aren’t imagining any of this.

Dean moves away, to see Castiel’s face, but they are still embracing. Dean’s smile is warm, genuine and full of happiness. Castiel’s is like that too. He can see the galaxy of freckles in Dean’s face and no one of them seems to notice or care the fact that they freaking close.

“Fuck, you are here.” Dean says without fading his smile away.

“I am. I told you I was coming back.” Castiel says with his sweet voice. Dean has missed hearing that sweet voice for too long. “I missed you.” Cas adds

Dean’s heart skips a beat. “I missed you too.” He confesses blushing a little. He pulls his arms away and Castiel hates the loss of Dean’s warmth in his body. “Are you okay? Did that woman do anything to you?” He asks really quick and worried.

Castiel shakes his head. “She didn’t do anything to me.” Dean breathes relieved. “What about you? Are you okay? Did Jo punish you or something?” Now he is the one who sounds worried.

Dean shakes his head. “No. She didn’t.”

“I’m glad to hear that.” He says taking a relieved breath. “I was so worried about you.”

Dean smiles in a timid way. “You worry too much about me.”

Castiel nods and then he makes a hussy smile. “As if you weren’t worried about me.”

Dean laughs. It sounds even better than Castiel remembered. Castiel laughs softly. It is great to be back with Dean, to feel this warmth and this happiness again. He has been with Dean for a couple of minutes and he feels good again.

“It is almost suppertime.” Castiel says.

Dean smiles. “I will gather everything up.”

“What have you done these days without me coming here to tell you it was time to eat?” He asks in his sassy tune as he leans his back in the car.

“My stomach notified me.” He makes a hussy smirk and Castiel can’t help smiling and rolling his eyes.

They go together to the kitchen, with happy smiles on their faces. Every slave looks at them with their usual disgusted sights, but neither Castiel nor Dean care. They are back together, after those fucking long four days. It is really nice to have dinner together. They can’t stop smiling. They are really obvious, but they are so happy to see each other again that right now, it doesn’t matter if they are being obvious, there’s more than happiness behind their eyes, but they don’t seem to notice; they are focused on enjoying being together again, sitting in the same table and having each other in front.

When they finish eating, they go together to their bedroom. Dean locks the door and he looks at Castiel. He missed so much seeing him in their bedroom. Dean wishes he could kiss Cas right now, to show him how much he missed him. But he can’t. It is better not think about it now. Castiel is here again and that’s what matters.

They use the bathroom, first Castiel and then Dean. After that, when Dean gets out of the bathroom, he sees that Castiel is taking out his clothes from the backpack. Dean leans in the wall, where the bed ends and he looks at Castiel’s clothes.

“I thought you were an ordered guy.” Dean says frowning at the clothes all creased in a messy way.

Castiel blushes and he looks at his backpack. “I package them as fast as I could.” Castiel starts to say. He bites in a nervous way his bottom lip. “I didn’t want to wait any more time to get back to see you.” He looks at Dean, who has a huge and lovely smile on his face. Then, Castiel looks down; he knows his ears are blushed too. He thought Dean would react in a different way when he heard Cas saying that. As if it was inappropriate, but Dean didn’t react like that and it was something heartwarming for Castiel. “I didn’t even unpacked when I arrived here. I just wanted to see you as soon as I could.” He adds.

Dean feels great with those words. Castiel wanted to see him as soon as possible. Castiel cares about him. He couldn’t wait more to see him. Dean doesn’t know the real meaning behind all of that, but he feels greater than ever to know that, to hear it coming out from Castiel’s mouth.

Would it be too wrong if Dean approached Cas and he hugged him and he kissed him softly? He has to stop. This is being really good. Dean doesn’t have the right to spoil anything. But if he keeps hearing Castiel’s words, he isn’t going to be able to avoid kissing him.

“How did you leave the garden?” Dean asks casually. “I don’t know why I ask. I know you left it fucking awesome.”

Castiel smiles shyly and he looks at Dean. “You over—”

“Don’t start with that.” He interrupts and Castiel presses his lips in a thin line, making a little smile. “I don’t overrate you. I’ve seen what you do in this garden. You have talent.”

“Dean—” He says blushing more. “You missed making me blush, right?”

Dean laughs loudly. “Yeah I did.” He recognizes. Castiel smiles. “But honestly, you are freaking awesome with gardens.”

“Thank you.” He looks at him. Then, he looks at his clothes and he goes towards the wardrobe to leave the clean ones in there. “I think I left the garden quite pretty.” He says modestly. “Lilith liked it, so I guess I did a good work.” He shrugs.

“I bet you did.” He smiles and although he can’t see Castiel’s face, he knows he is smiling too.

Castiel closes the wardrobe and then, he picks the clothes that need to be cleaned and he leaves them in the washing machine. It isn’t completely full, so he doesn’t start it. He gets out of the bathroom and he sees Dean is getting undressed. He tries to hide his smile, but he can’t. It is good to see Dean taking his clothes off again, even he feels aroused by it. He remembers when he dreamt about he and Dean, kissing and touching and he had to go to the bathroom to jerk off. He blushes with that thought and he looks down to avoid his eyes lingering in Dean for more than they should and to avoid feeling more aroused.

Dean feels the same way too; having Cas in front of him, getting undressed, feels good and arousing. His eyes wander on Castiel’s body for a while before he forces himself to look away.

When they are only with their t-shirts and their boxers, they save the removed clothes in the wardrobe and they go to their respective beds. They look at each other with a happy smile; having each other in the same room, feels good. They feel nice and safe.

“Goodnight Cas.” Dean says with a huge smile.

“Goodnight Dean.” Castiel says with a pretty smile.

They turn off the lights. Dean falls asleep easily, better than in those days, because he knows that Castiel is there, that he is all right, and that calms him. Slumber soon takes over his body and he is in dreamland sooner than usually. Castiel, although he feels like Dean, he doesn’t fall asleep easily. The bed is cold, in fact, the bedroom is cold. After sleeping in the bedroom from Lilith’s house, that it was warmer than this, Castiel finds it a bit hard to warm his body.

He looks at Dean, sleeping soundly in his bed and Castiel bites his lower lip. He doesn’t want to wake up Dean, but Castiel is quite cold and he would appreciate the warmth of Dean and his bed. He thinks about it for several minutes until he decides to get up and go towards Dean’s bed.

“Dean.” Castiel murmurs as he shakes Dean. His friend has a heavy sleep. “Dean.” He insists, but Dean is still sleeping. Castiel isn’t going to sneak in Dean’s bed as if it was the most common and normal thing. “Dean. Dean. Dean.” He repeats.

Finally Dean hums and he seems to open his eyes slightly. “Yeah?” Dean mumbles. He closes his eyes again.

“Can I sleep with you?” He asks shyly.

“Yeah.” Dean says removing part of the sheets and the quilt vaguely from the empty space next to him. He sounds really sleepy, but Castiel doesn’t give it any importance at all; he just gets in the bed, lying aside while Dean is lying face up.

“Thanks.” Castiel says in a whisper and covering himself. He will never understand how Dean can be this extremely warm.

Suddenly, Dean’s arm rests in Castiel’s shoulder and he pushes Castiel closer to him, leaving no space in between them. Castiel is shocked by that. Dean leans his chin in Castiel’s head and he nuzzles his hair in a nice way that sends a huge warmth to Castiel’s body.

“I love sleeping with you.” Dean mumbles.

Castiel is about to say something, but Dean starts to snore. Did he actually mean that? Or was it because he was dreaming or sleeping? Dean seemed to be awake, well, more or less, when Castiel asked him if he could sleep in his bed, but then, he seemed to be sleeping and now Dean is sleeping soundly, he is freaking sleeping. But he brought Castiel closer to him. And he said that he loved sleeping with Castiel. Dean doesn’t do or say this kind of things without any hesitation. This is confusing and Castiel doesn’t know what to think.

He isn’t going to think about this now. He will think about it tomorrow. Right now, he wants to be selfish and enjoy the fact that Dean is embracing him tightly, as if he didn’t want to let him go. He isn’t going to overthink the situation. He is going to enjoy the moment, he is going to feel Dean’s warmth, the feeling of being safe and cared in Dean’s arms. He is definitely going to take pleasure in this.

Castiel is aware that this isn’t right, but Dean was the one who brought him closer. He has wanted to sleep with Dean again since the last time they slept in the same bed, some weeks ago, and now, he doesn’t want to let it go, he doesn’t want to miss it. He embraces Dean, leaning his arm in Dean’s chest and he rests in a more comfortable way his chin in Dean’s shoulder. He closes his eyes and he smiles. Soon, slumber takes over his body as well and it feels great to fall asleep in Dean’s arms.

The alarm clock sounds really loud and Dean turns it off really fast and with a swipe. He ignores the alarm clock and he tries to linger in bed for longer, so he snuggles himself and he tightens Castiel in his arms. Seconds after that, he opens his eyes widely and he looks at Castiel.

“Wh— why are you on my bed?” Dean says really blushed and shocked. He pulls his arms away as fast as he can, but he is still lying and he is looking at Castiel.

Castiel was expecting this. This is how Dean usually reacts when he is feeling awkward. “I asked you last night if I could sleep with you and you said that I could.” Castiel explains.

“Re— really? I did it?” He stutters. His mouth is suddenly dry. He was embracing Castiel and Castiel still has an arm in his chest. Holy shit.

“You don’t remember it.” Castiel says a bit disappointed. He hoped that maybe Dean would have remembered anything, but he was unconscious, he was asleep. He moves away his arm. “I should have ascertained that you were fully awake before getting in your bed.” He says really serious and standing up.

Dean doesn’t like that voice. He stands up too, sitting on the bed, like Cas. “Don’t get me wrong Cas, I—” _I want to sleep with you every day_. Yeah, he shouldn’t say that. “I’m not mad or anything, it’s just that I found it weird to go to bed by myself and found you in my bed the next morning.” He says with an honest smile. “I’m not disturbed by you sleeping with me, it is nice.” He adds trying to do a casual voice.

Castiel makes a confused face. “Do you like it?” He asks. He is trying to know the truth behind what Dean said last night.

Dean opens his eyes widely and he blushes. He swallows. “Yeah, I— I like it.” He narrows his eyes confused by the question. Cas seems glad to hear all of this and Dean isn’t sure why. When they slept for the first time together, when Cas woke up embracing Dean, Cas started to apologize for it, but now, he seems too normal about this.

“Good.” Castiel says with a tiny smile a sounding too casual. Dean seems uncomfortable with the question, but last night he seemed to be really convinced by saying that he loved sleeping with him. He doesn’t understand Dean.

“Why did you come to my bed?” Dean asks with curiosity. He wants to avoid more questions about if he likes sleeping with Cas. He has talked more than he should. But the surprising thing is that Cas isn’t uncomfortable and that shocks Dean a little.

“I was cold.” He answers shyly.

Dean smiles. “You needed your own personal heater, huh?”

Castiel glares him as he smiles. “Assbutt.”

Dean laughs. “Next time, wake me up properly.” He says getting out of bed and stretching. Castiel nods. “I like knowing that you are in my bed. Next time, maybe I will react in a wrong way and I will start kicking you.”

Castiel tilts his head and he narrows his eyes. “I’m sorry, what?”

“One time Sammy got into my bed while I was sleeping and when I woke up, I thought he was a stranger and I started to kick him.” He tells in a nostalgic way. “And he started to yell at me.”

Castiel laughs and he half-closes his eyes, showing those cute crinkles in the corner or his eyes that Dean loves. “Okay, I will wake you up properly the next time.” He promises as he gets up. “I don’t want to start the day with you kicking me.”

“Yeah, I don’t recommend it to you.” He raises his eyebrows. He goes towards his bed to make it as Castiel goes towards the wardrobe.

As Castiel searches for something to wear, he is thinking about the way Dean embraced him while he was asleep and how he mumbled that he loved sleeping with Castiel. What if Dean is starting to feel something for him? He looks at Dean for a moment before he shakes his head. No, it can’t be. Dean can’t have feelings for Cas. Castiel is boring, broken and uninteresting. He isn’t good enough for Dean. But then, what did that needy embrace and those honest words mean? What was behind all of that?

A voice inside Castiel says that it was nothing, Dean was probably dreaming with something nice. He didn’t remember any of that, he didn’t even remember Castiel asking if he could sleep with him. It was nothing. Dean will never see Castiel as something more than a friend.

He looks at Dean again and he smiles. Dean sometimes is a mystery to Castiel. He is complicated, even if Dean is in so many aspects like Castiel, but Dean has a few things that puzzle Castiel. But he loves Dean anyways. He loves every single small thing that makes Dean who he is.

Dean catches Castiel looking at him, with that lovely and honest smile drawn on his lips and Dean smiles in a query way. “Why are you looking at me like that?” Dean asks.

“Because it’s great to be with you again.” Castiel simply says.

Castiel goes to the bathroom, leaving Dean all blushed and with a blooming warmth in his chest.


	21. Nightmare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you so much for reading, for the kudos, for the comments, for the bookmarks and for the subscriptions. Thanks you so much :)

Since Castiel came back, Dean has found it easier to fall asleep and he has been sleeping really good, but tonight, without any reason at all, Dean is having an awful nightmare. It has been a long time since he got a nightmare. Once in a while he has bad dreams, but tonight it is a nightmare; a really bad one.

There is fire, blood and pain. There are people screaming; his mother, Sammy, Bobby and Castiel. Everything hurts, all of them are suffering and Dean feels powerless and frustrated, he can’t do anything to help, to take their pain away. He can feel their suffering, how the fire consumes them slowly and how all of them are coughing a river of blood. One by one are dying. Everything is painted with shades of blood, pain and suffering.

Dean is still dreaming, shaking in his bed and groaning. Castiel wakes up confused and he stares at Dean’s bed; something is wrong with Dean.

Castiel gets up and he switches on the lamp from Dean’s bedside table. He sees that Dean is having a nightmare. He is shaking sharply, his forehead is covered with sweat and his eyes are closed with strength. Without thinking it twice, Castiel goes really fast to the bathroom to pick the mug and fill it with cold water and then, he goes towards Dean’s bed, he leaves the mug on the bedside table and he kneels.

“Dean. Dean!” Castiel says shaking Dean. “Dean! Dean! Wake up!” He says desperately. Dean is in pain and he has to wake up soon.

After some sharp shakings, Dean opens his eyes and he breathes in a desperate way, as if he hasn’t breathed for years. He looks at Castiel, with scared eyes and Dean cups Castiel’s face with one of his hands. Dean is panting really fast and Castiel is a bit scared of Dean’s reaction.

“Cas.” Dean manages to say as he strokes Castiel’s cheek with his thumb, trying to ascertain that he isn’t in the nightmare anymore, that this Cas is the real one and that he isn’t burning and bleeding. “You okay.”

Castiel narrows his eyes and he looks confused. “Yes. I am okay.”

Dean is still panting and he doesn’t take his eyes away from Castiel. “You were dying.”

“I’m not dying Dean.” His voice is soft and sweet, although there is a bit of confusion in his voice. Castiel touches Dean’s hand, the one that it is touching his face. “It was a nightmare Dean. I’m good.”

The fear in Dean’s eyes starts to disappear slowly as Castiel strokes Dean’s fingers. Then, Castiel’s other hand goes to Dean’s hair and he starts to pet it, something that calms Dean ever better. Dean’s breathing starts to be as calm as usual as minutes pass.

They usually break personal space when it comes to moments like this, when one of them is suffering or when one of them needs any kind of support. Awkwardness doesn’t exist in those moments and they don’t realize how intimate their touches are. It is in moments like this, when they let themselves have that small touch they are always craving for, but they do it unconsciously, because they know that with those simple touches, they will feel better.

Dean pulls his hand away when he is feeling a bit better, leaving the ghost of his touch and his warmth in Castiel’s face. There is still that tingling in his face, caused by Dean’s hand. Then, Castiel looks at Dean and he moves his hand away from his hair.

“Here.” Castiel says offering Dean the mug with cold water. Dean drinks all of it in a desperate way. It feels good to feel the cold water running in his throat. “Better?” Castiel asks when Dean leaves the mug in the bedside table.

“Yeah.” Dean answers lying aside to see Castiel. “Thanks.” He adds. Castiel smiles and he leans his arms and his chin in the mattress. “It was an awful nightmare.”

“I can tell. You were shaking, groaning and sweating. You woke me up.”

“Sorry.” He hates being responsible of waking Cas in the middle of the night.

“It’s okay. You were suffering a lot. I never saw you like that.”

Dean looks down, avoiding the eye contact. He takes a deep breath. The nightmare was really bad and he felt so useless. He wants Castiel to hold his hand, he wants to feel his warmth again, it was really welcome, but he isn’t sure to ask him.

“Are you okay, Dean?” Castiel asks, running his fingers one more time through Dean’s hair in a sweet way. He can see in Dean’s face that something wrong is going on.

“Can you sleep with me tonight?” Dean asks looking back at Castiel’s blue eyes. His voice is needy. He doesn’t feel good right now and he needs Castiel’s safety tonight, he needs to feel him next to him, protecting him.

Castiel looks at him surprised. He wasn’t expecting that. “Yes. Of course I can.” He says in a soft and pretty voice. Also, he makes a tiny and shy smile.

Dean smiles. Castiel stands up and he switches off the lamp. He gets inside Dean’s bed, in Dean’s left side, like always. Once he is lying aside, Dean rolls over so he is facing him. There are only a few inches left in between, but Dean moves and he hugs Castiel, resting his face in Castiel’s neck, feeling the black leather collar against his forehead. His head is under Castiel’s chin. Castiel hugs him tightly; Dean needs comfort and he can give it to him. He wants to give him all the comfort he needs right now. He hugs him tightly and with one of his hands he combs Dean’s hair slowly and softly.

“Do you want to talk about the nightmare?” Castiel asks.

Dean takes a deep breath. He doesn’t know if he really wants to talk about it. But this is Cas, and Cas always comforts him and listens to him and Cas always makes him feel better. Dean sighs. “You, Sam, Bobby and my mother were dying. There was fire and blood everywhere. You were suffering.” He nuzzles Castiel’s collarbone softly, trying to be as discrete as possible.

Castiel doesn’t stop stroking gently Dean’s hair. Dean isn’t as warm as usually, he is warm, but he is quite cold. He takes a deep breath and he leans his chin in Dean’s head and he starts to move his thumb in Dean’s back, with the hand that isn’t in Dean’s hair, in a soothing way.

“I was seeing how all of you were dying and I couldn’t do anything.” Dean adds. “Like what happened in real life to my mother and Sammy; I couldn’t save them.”

“You can’t save everyone my friend.” Castiel says in a sad voice.

Dean makes an acid smile and he presses himself a little bit more against Castiel. His warmth is addicting. Tonight Cas isn’t cold at all, he is really warm and Dean likes it. “I should have—”

“Dean.” Castiel interrupts. “You couldn’t do anything. Your mother died because of a fire and that night you saved your brother.”

“But Sammy ended up murdered years later.”

“But you couldn’t do anything either. Who would have known that your brother was going to be murdered?” Castiel takes a deep breath and he tightens Dean in his arms a little bit more.

“I should have come with Sammy here, maybe I could have saved him.” He says frustrated and breathy.

“Or maybe you could have died too.” He looks up. The idea of losing Dean is terrifying. He takes a deep breath. “It wasn’t your fault, Dean. Stop blaming yourself for something that isn’t your fault.”

Dean doesn’t say anything; he just fists the back of Castiel’s t-shirt. Castiel keeps running his hand through Dean’s hair, hoping that it will calm him. He has never been like this, comforting someone, it is strange for Castiel, but at the same time it is nice, because he feels that he can help his friend.

“Promise me that you won’t die.” Dean says after a while. Castiel makes a frown in confusion. “Promise me that you won’t leave me.” He says needy.

“I will never leave you Dean.” Castiel says honestly. He doesn’t know how Dean can think that he will ever leave him. Dean seems really broken tonight, he looks even scared and Castiel finds it odd. Dean is human, he knows he isn’t strong always, but he can’t help a shocking feeling when he sees Dean like this.

Dean sighs. “If you die before me, I’ll kill you.”

“How are you going to kill me if I’m already dead?” He asks puzzled.

Dean makes a small smile and Castiel feels it in the part of his neck that isn’t hidden under the black collar. It feels really good to feel Dean’s smile in his skin. “It’s an expression, Cas.” He says sounding sweetly.

“It is an inadequate expression.” He murmurs. Dean smiles again.

Castiel always makes him smile for the oddest things. But Dean really thanks that. Dean closes his eyes. “Thanks, Cas.”

“For what?”

Dean smiles again. “Y’know for what. For this.”

“You are welcome.” He says nuzzling Dean’s hair, something that makes Dean smile. “Let’s try to sleep, Dean.” He adds with a slow voice.

Dean nods. He snuggles himself in Castiel’s arms. This is goes beyond personal space; best friends don’t sleep like this, but to hell any of that. Dean wants this, he needs this. He needs right now the comfort Castiel is giving him, he needs to feel Castiel’s warmth. It will only be for tonight. No one of them is uncomfortable with this, so there is no point of thinking about the situation anymore.

They fall asleep pretty fast and easily, and Castiel doesn’t let Dean out of his arms. He likes having Dean in his arms, protecting him, keeping him away from anything bad that could happen.

The alarm clock sounds loudly and it wakes them up. Dean grunts like always but he doesn’t move; instead, he buries his face in Castiel’s neck. Castiel can’t help a sleepy smile and he moves one of his arms, trying to reach out the alarm clock, after a few attempts, because Dean doesn’t move, he manages to turn the alarm clock off. If he was alone in his bed, he would have gotten up, but he is in Dean’s bed, and it feels great; he can linger a couple of minutes too.

“Feeling lazy, Cas?” Dean mumbles against Castiel’s neck.

“I’m feeling warm and comfortable.” Castiel answers as he places his cheek in Dean’s head and closes his eyes for a while.

Dean smiles softly. He shakes his hips, trying to wake his legs up, without realizing that he is rubbing himself against Castiel, who at first makes a confused face, but then, he realizes that Dean is hard and he is also hard. He pulls away abruptly, hitting himself against the wall and making a small grunt.

“Cas!” Dean exclaims shocked. “Holy shit! Are you okay?” He is worried. Castiel is really blushed. He can’t look at Dean’s eyes right now. Dean rises like Cas, and both of them are sitting in the bed. “What’s wrong?” Dean asks.

Castiel bites his lower lip and he bends his knees. He doesn’t want Dean to notice that he is hard. This is the worst situation ever.

Dean looks at him and then, he realizes that he is hard. Fear runs through Dean’s body. Damn it, Cas felt his boner, that’s why he moved away that abruptly. “Fuck.” Dean says rubbing his face and sounding really embarrassed. “I’m sorry, Cas. I—” He takes a deep breath. “I don’t know why I am hard.” He looks at Castiel, who is looking down. Dean feels like he has scared the hell out of Cas. “Damn it, I shouldn’t—”

“I’m hard too.” Castiel interrupts with a shy voice. Dean arches a brow and then, he looks at Castiel surprised.

“O—okay.” He swallows. Castiel is hard too. Right now Dean can’t think properly. He is hard and Cas is it too. Awesome…“This is awkward.” He manages to say.

“Sorry.” Castiel buries his face in his knees. He is too ashamed about this. Why did this have to happen? Castiel doesn’t remember having any kind of dream that involved something arousing.

“Cas, no, it’s okay.” Dean places his hand in Castiel’s shoulder. He isn’t sure if right now this is appropriate or not. He doesn’t know how to handle the situation. “This isn’t my first sleepover, things like these happen.”

Castiel raises his head to look at Dean shyly. “Really?” He doesn’t believe Dean too much.

Dean nods. “Really. It is normal to wake up with morning wood. The weird thing is that both of us woke up with morning wood but—” He clears his throat. “Don’t worry.” He makes a tiny but friendly smile. Castiel sighs. “Cas, it’s okay. Trust me.”

“It’s not okay Dean!” Castiel says frustrated. “This is— this is—” He makes a frustrated groan and he covers his eyes with his hands. Then, he moves them down until he pulls them away in an irritated way. “I don’t even know how to call it.”

“Don’t overthink it.” Dean says disturbed. Castiel frowns in confusion. “It has happened. It is just morning wood, we had happy dreams and that’s all, don’t give it any more importance.” He explains in a shaky breath. Castiel looks down ashamed. “This never happened to you, right?”

Actually it happened. But Dean doesn’t know it and Castiel doesn’t want to tell him either, so he just nods. He doesn’t know how Dean isn’t freaking out about waking up with his friend being hard. Maybe Dean is right, these things happen.

Dean sighs. “Don’t freak out then, just—” Dean swallows. “Go to the shower and masturbate.” He finally says.

Castiel opens his eyes widely and he looks at Dean. Castiel is really blushed. “Are you serious?”

“Fuck, Cas—” He takes a deep breath. “Do you want to walk towards the house with a boner or what?” He says frustrated. Castiel bites his lower lip guiltily. Dean sighs. “Just jerk off, there’s nothing wrong with that.”

“But you are going to take a shower later.” He says a bit uncomfortable.

Dean narrows his eyes. “What are you trying to tell me?”

Cas sighs. “I don’t feel comfortable with touching myself and knowing that you will use the shower. It will be gross for you.”  
Dean can’t hold a laugh and Castiel glares him. He rubs his face when his laughter starts to disappear slowly. “It won’t be gross.” He says. “As long as you leave it as clean as possible, it is okay. Besides, I’m going to jerk off too.” He adds with a guilty smile. Talking with Cas about this is really weird. Castiel blushes even more with Dean’s comment. Imagining Dean touching in the shower is really arousing. Castiel looks down and Dean looks at him worried. “Okay, this is going to be awkward, no matter what we say. Let’s make a deal.”

Castiel tilts his head and narrows his eyes. “A deal?”

“Yeah. You jerk off, then I jerk off and no one of us talks about this ever. We will forget it.” Dean explains.

“And what would happen if we sleep any other night in the same bed?” He asks.

Dean makes a thoughtful grimace. He didn’t thought about it. He didn’t even expect Cas to want to sleep with him in the same bed again after this. “We can sleep together again, and if this happens again, we won’t freak out. We will just blush and don’t talk about it.” He says.

Castiel smiles brightly. “Yes, that would be the best.” He admits.

“Awesome.” Dean sighs. “Now just get out and go to the bathroom.” He says trying to sound casual.

Castiel starts to get out and he puts his hand in Dean’s eyes, covering them. “Don’t look.”

“I wasn’t going to look!” Dean says with a childish voice. He knows he won’t look, for God’s sake, he really doesn’t want to see Castiel’s erection, he is his fucking friend, who is having his first erection, he doesn’t want to freak him out more, but he knows himself and his eyes will try to peek. Dean feels how Castiel gets out of the bed and suddenly he stops.

“Don’t look, Dean.” Castiel says removing his hand from Dean’s eyes. Castiel is kneeling in the border of the edge, looking at Dean’s face. They are so close, that Dean can only see Castiel’s face.

Dean nods. “I won’t look, Cas. I promise.” He says. Castiel is really blushed and his face is the perfect description of shame and embarrassment.

Dean covers his eyes and Castiel smiles. “Thank you.” He goes towards the wardrobe, looking at Dean, who still has his eyes covered.

“I think I’m going to regret asking this, because the situation is already too awkward but—” He takes a deep breath. Castiel turns his head to see him, although Dean can’t see him. “Do you really know how to jerk off? I mean, you told me that you know the instructions but, I don’t know.” He shrugs.

Castiel blushes and he looks down. He can’t see Dean’s eyes, but he feels as if he could feel them behind Dean’s hand covering them. “It doesn’t have to be really difficult.” He says with a shyly voice.

Dean smirks. “Yeah, well, yeah.” He clears his throat. “This is being the most uncomfortable moment of our lives for sure.”

Castiel makes a small laugh. “Then stop asking awkward questions.” He tells him with sass.

Now is Dean’s turn to laugh. “Yeah, I should.” He takes a deep breath. He hears how Castiel closes the wardrobe. “Just—” Someday he is going to punch his cakehole for not shutting the hell up. “Don’t do anything that hurts you.” He says frowning.

Castiel babbles at first before he manages to say a word. “What? Dean, I’m not going to use knifes or scissors or anything like that!” He says shocked.

“I wasn’t talking about something like that Cas! Holy shit, you take things too literal sometimes” He makes an acid laugh. “Just don’t— Y’know what? I’m gonna shut up right now.”

Castiel puffs. He looks at Dean, whose cheeks are a bit red. Castiel bites his lower lip. The situation is really awkward now; he could tease Dean a little bit more. After all, Dean is always making Castiel blush, and he is with his eyes closed, so he can’t see Castiel’s expression and Castiel can make Dean feel really awkward. “Don’t worry.” He says with a serious voice. “If I have any problem I can call you to help me.” He says sassily. He is really blushed when he says that, thinking about Dean coming into the shower, to help him with his erection, is really arousing, but luckily, Dean can’t see him.

Dean turns his face and he opens his eyes, which are still covered by his hand. His face is now really red. In less than a couple of seconds, his face turned into a noticeable red color. “You— I—” He stutters. He wasn’t expecting that comment. He is feeling really confused and shocked. “Are you fucking teasing me?” He finally says when he can hear a small laughter.

Castiel laughs a bit louder. “You are teasing me all the time. This was the best time for revenge.” He says smirking and blushed.  
“You son of a—” He starts to remove his hand but Castiel throws at his face his clothes.

“I told you not to look!” He says angrily and ashamed. He walks fast towards Dean’s bed and with one of his hands, he places his hand between his clothes and Dean’s face, covering Dean’s eyes and with the other, he starts to pick all those clothes.

“You are a little shit, y’know?” Dean says with a cocky voice. Castiel glares him despite of the fact that Dean can’t see him. “I think I have a bad influence on you.” He says with a bit of sadness.

Castiel softens his eyes. “No, you don’t.” He says sweetly. “I wanted to tease you. Sorry if I crossed the line.” He says timidly. He shouldn’t have said that. Dean gets really uncomfortable when it comes to things like that. He should have thought about it better.

“It’s okay, Cas. Don’t worry. I have crossed that line sometimes too.” He smiles softly. Castiel makes a shy smile. “C’mon, go to the bathroom and end this situation once and for all.” He sneaks his hand in between his eyes and Castiel’s hand.

“But don’t look.” He says moving away slowly.

Dean puffs. “I’m not going to look.” He says annoyed.

Finally Castiel gets in the bathroom and closes the door. So Dean is now able to pull his hand away from his eyes and get up. He looks at the bathroom door and he bites his lower lip. Right now, Cas is about to take a shower and touch himself. Fuck, he knows he is going to think about Cas jerking off the whole time. And the worst of all is that Cas teased him by saying that he could get in the shower to help him. Holy shit. Dean blushes a lot and he feels how he gets a bit harder.

He should stop thinking about it, or wait to think about it until he is in the shower, because his cock is starting to twitch nervously. He wonders what Castiel is thinking while he is jerking off in the shower. He better shut down those thoughts. Castiel can think whatever the fuck he wants and it is not Dean’s incumbency. But Dean can’t stop wondering why and how Castiel got hard while they were sleeping. Maybe Dean rubbed himself against him while they were sleeping and Castiel got hard with that. Or maybe he was having happy dreams. But happy dreams with whom?

Dean shakes his head. It was an accident, nothing else. He starts to make his bed and he sighs. It was happy dreams or Dean who rubbed in a sexual way while he was sleeping. It has to be something like that, there’s no doubt.

Castiel, meanwhile, is already in the shower. This is the second time he does this and it is being better than the first time. He has a bit more of experience, and he knows what he has to do to feel more pleasure, where he has to touch to feel his whole body shake and feel how his spine curves with an impulse.

This is crazy; Dean knows he is touching himself in the shower and Castiel doesn’t know why he doesn’t feel awkward, he feels great. The thought of knowing that Dean knows that right now, Castiel is stroking his cock, is really arousing. Castiel knows it is wrong, but that voice is quiet know and all he can hear is a voice telling him not to stop touching, to keep moving his fist up and down along the length of his hard cock, to press the head of it, playing with his fingers on the head and playing with the different angles he can make with his fist when he moves his hand from the top to the bottom.

There’s a moment when his mind imagines that Dean is there, giving him all that pleasure. It would be great that it could be like this; Dean standing in front of him, naked, kissing him and touching him. Making Castiel feel things he has never felt before, making him go crazy.

He comes soon and he makes a moan, without caring if Dean can hear him or not; it isn’t really loud, but if Dean paid attention, he could hear him. Castiel opens his eyes and he releases his cock. There it is, the maddening sensation after coming, relaxing all his muscles and making him to pant.

Castiel never expected this could happen to him. Wanting someone to touch him, after all the things the Master did to him. A sudden fear runs his body and he feels the need to sit down, so he does it in the edge of the bath. Sometimes he forgets what it felt like, all that pain and all that fear.

He rubs his face. He shouldn’t think about the Master. He felt good when he touched himself and thought about Dean. But the memory of the Master and all that nightmare he lived with him is still there. Castiel takes a deep breath and he stands up. He needs to finish his shower; Dean is waiting in the bedroom for his turn.

Castiel takes his shower quickly. He dries himself as fast as he can and he dresses up. When he gets out of the bathroom, Dean is waiting next to the door and he covers Castiel’s eyes.

“Don’t look.” Dean says with a teasing voice.

Castiel can’t help a smile. “I wasn’t going to.”

“I know. Just prevention.” He says with a smirk. He can feel behind his palm how Castiel rolls his eyes. “How did it go?”

Castiel knits his eyebrows together. “Do you really want to talk about it?”

“I don’t want the details, I just want to know if you—” Dean clears his throat. Why does he have to be so freaking awkward in front of Cas? Why is he asking this? He looks like a little kid most of the time when he speaks to Cas. “You enjoyed it.” He finally says and blushing a lot.

“I did.” He finally says. He enjoyed it a lot, truth be told, until he remembered the Master, but that was after he came and he doesn’t want to think about it anymore. Dean isn’t the Master, and Dean feels good, even now, Castiel feels nice with Dean’s hand covering his eyes. He focuses on that simple touch to feel better, to remove the nightmares from the past.

“Good, good.” He says awkwardly. Blush is spreading on his cheeks quickly. “Okay, I’m gonna take my shower.” He says moving towards the door, but he doesn’t pull his hand away until he is behind Castiel. “Don’t look.”

“No.” He smiles.

Quickly, Dean gets in the bathroom and he closes the door. Castiel now is going to make the bed. He looks at the wall, knowing that behind it, there’s Dean, who is about to do what Castiel just did. Dean was hard too and Castiel really wants to know how, but they have already had an awkward morning; there’s no need to make it more awkward. Besides, Dean’s erection might have come from a happy dream. After that awful nightmare he had, dreaming with something that wasn’t with fire and blood, could have that reaction to Dean.

Dean is now stroking himself. This isn’t the second time he has done this in that shower. It is the fifth or the sixth time. He has woken half hard some mornings and managed not to get noticed by Castiel. He feels guilty every time he jerks off thinking about Cas, but not this morning. He doesn’t have to hide it because Castiel knows that he woke up with a boner, and honestly, it is a relief not having to hide what he is doing.

Dean keeps shaking his hand up and down, a bit faster, pressing where he knows he likes to be pressed, imagining that it isn’t his hand, that it is Castiel’s, touching him and making him lose his mind. He imagines Castiel kissing him in a passionate way, rubbing his body against his without stopping moving his hand. Dean parts his lips and closes his eyes, feeling the pleasure in his whole body, being easier and easier to picture Cas in front of him doing all of that.

He comes easily and he has to cover his mouth to avoid being heard. The last thing he needs is Cas to hear him saying his name in a moan. He definitely doesn’t need any of that. He had enough with both of them being hard and their, well his, awkward talking. He has done more than he should for this morning.

Dean takes his shower, he dries himself and he dresses up. Once he gets out of the bathroom, it will be as if nothing of this happened. They didn’t wake up with boners and they didn’t jerk off in the shower. They won’t talk about it ever, that’s what they have promised, although Dean is sure as hell that he will be thinking about it, and he knows that Castiel will think about this too.

Finally, he gets out and Castiel is sitting on his bed, waiting for him. He looks like usually, like if this morning was a common one. Sometimes Dean wonders how Castiel can act like this. They have slept in the same bed together a couple of times, they have kissed once and today, they woke up being hard the two of them, and Cas, looks normal. He blushes when these things happen, but nothing else, he isn’t like Dean, who screws things up a little bit more and acts like an idiot. Maybe it is because Cas doesn’t feel what Dean feels for Cas. That thought makes Dean’s heart ache. He knows that Cas doesn’t feel anything for him beyond their friendship, he really knows it, then, why does it still hurt when he remembers it?

Castiel turns his face to see Dean and he gets up. “Ready for breakfast?” He asks with a pretty smile.

Dean makes a smile. “You know the answer to that.”

Castiel’s smile gets bigger and brighter. “Yes. I don’t know why I keep asking.” He confesses as he walks towards the door.

Dean knows why it still hurts. Because he is always thinking that maybe, behind that pretty smile, that sweet voice, those eyes that only shine for Dean, those words that Castiel tells him, there is something more. He keeps telling himself that there must be something more, that deep down Castiel really wants him. It is only a small and low voice, but Dean wants to hear it; he ignores for some moments the loud one, the one that tells him that it isn’t like that, that Castiel doesn’t want him. But then, that loud voice, finally gets to him and makes him feel like shit, but Dean keeps trying to hear the low one, although at the end, he ends up listening and believing the voice that tells him he is stupid for believing that Cas would ever be interested in him.

If he could truly believe that low voice that tells him that Cas feels the same way he does for him…


	22. Ice and Blood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I want to thank you for reading, for the kudos, the bookmarks, the comments and the subscriptions.

They kept their promise. No one of them talked about what happened a few mornings ago, when Dean and Castiel woke up with hard erections. They really didn’t want to bring that topic up. So they just buried it, like they always do with anything that has to do with the two of them doing something awkward and when they have strong feelings for the other one. They are really used to bury all those things; what’s one more thing to bury in the back of their minds?

It was surprising how the two of them acted as if what happened, wasn’t a big deal, as if they didn’t give it any importance at all. On one hand, it was something good, because that way, their friendship was as good as always, but on the other hand, they couldn’t stop feeling a bit hard when they remembered that for the other, it wasn’t anything important at all. They are fools.

Castiel is going towards the garage, it is lunch time, which means time to go and find Dean, working on a car and see his beautiful smile. He does it twice a day, every single day and yet, he never gets tired, he loves that simple thing of going to the garage to see Dean and his happy smile. He knows he will always love that.

“Hello Dean.” Castiel greets when he arrives.

Dean doesn’t disappoint him and he dedicates him a pretty smile when he sees him. “Hey, Cas. As punctual as always.” Dean says. He gets out of the car. He was fixing the upholstery from the backseat.

“Shouldn’t you start to close the gate?” Castiel asks when Dean starts to wash his hands in the small sink there is in the garage. “It is starting to get cold.”

“Yeah.” He says rubbing his hands. He closes the tap and with a cloth, he dries his hands. “But then you would have to get inside the house and walk the long hall to tell me it’s time to eat.” He makes a happy smile.

Castiel blushes. He looks down and he smiles. Knowing that Dean keeps the gate opened, even if it is starting to get really cold, just for seeing Castiel as soon as possible, warms Castiel’s heart.

“Don’t waste more time, food is waiting for us” Dean says with enthusiasm and Castiel can’t help rolling his eyes.

Lunch goes as usually, both of them eating and talking, trying to talk as quiet as possible, being only audible for each other. The other slaves don’t have the right to listen to any of their words. In moments like this they feel good, if they ignore the slaves sitting in the other side of the table, it’s when they feel a small freedom. Same happens when they are in their bedroom. They know they aren’t free, they are really aware of that, but those moments in the kitchen and those moments in their bedroom, gives them a small break between the constant thought of being imprisoned. It is what makes them carry on.

Once they have finished lunch, they go to their respective workplaces, like always. Dean goes to the garage and Castiel to the garden. The same old routine. They haven’t already started and they are looking forward to suppertime, to eat together, talk and then go to their bedroom, maybe to read, to talk or just to sleep, they don’t care, any of those things is fine.

While Castiel is working on one of the hedges, which it is a bit sick in the branches but he can take care of it, he scratches himself with a branch in his palm. The scratch isn’t too deep, but he would rather go to his bedroom, wash the scratch and apply his antiseptic, just in case.

He has done this several times that he really does it really quick. He could even do it blindfolded. So he leaves the bathroom soon and he walks towards the garden, walking a bit fast.

When he is near the kitchen, Alastair gets out of it and Castiel looks at him. Alastair is eating a green apple. Castiel knows that it is forbidden. Eating out of breakfast, lunch or dinner is forbidden for slaves. Alastair has some privileges, but eating out of the established hours, it is forbidden for every single slave. No exceptions.

Alastair notices Castiel’s presence and he gets out of Castiel’s sigh as fast as he can. Castiel stands in the hall, looking confused. He isn’t going to tell anything because he really doesn’t want to get into trouble. He hates Alastair too much, but he knows that Jo won’t punish him unless there are proofs showing what Alastair did.

Finally, Castiel keeps walking towards the garden, forgetting about the accidental encounter with Alastair. He shouldn’t worry about any of that. But he has a bad feeling about it and he doesn’t know why exactly. Castiel hasn’t done anything wrong, so he shouldn’t worry, but there’s a voice inside his mind telling him to look out.

Afternoon goes as slow as usually. Sometimes it goes faster, but most of the time, the afternoon tends to go slow. After some long hours working on the garden, Castiel goes to the garage, where Dean is working all concentrated on the same car he was this morning, and when Dean sees him, he smiles brightly, making Castiel smile too. He loves these moments.

Tonight there is baked sea bass with some baked potatoes. Dean was never a huge fan of fish, although he liked fish before rabbit food, but now he is starting to like it. When you can’t eat anything else, you finally end up liking the food that you used to hate before.

“It is supposed to be sea bass with potatoes, not potatoes with sea bass.” Castiel points sassily and with one eyebrow arched.

Dean glares him and he puts one of his potatoes in Castiel’s plate. “Happy?” Dean says sarcastically.

Castiel rolls his eyes and he makes a smile. “Assbutt.” He whispers.

“I heard you.” Dean says rising his eyebrows as he starts to eat.

“I know. That was the purpose.” He smirks.

Dean smiles brightly. He really adores when Castiel is this frolicsome and sassy. “Are you always this sassy or it is only with me?” He likes teasing Cas. Of course, both of them know they are teasing each other and that no one of them will get mad.

“I’m always sassy, but I’m sassier with you.” He admits with a thoughtful grin.

Dean smiles satisfied. “I didn’t expect less from you.”

Castiel dedicates him a beautiful smile. This relationship with Dean is great, taking apart all the feelings he has for him, and it is very special. They trust each other, they care so much for each other. They can joke about anything and they will always make each other laugh and smile even in the hardest moment. Castiel would love to have more with Dean, but what he has right now with Dean, this friendship, is already perfect.

Suppertime goes as usually, and when they finish, they stand up together to go to their bedroom, but tonight Jo is in the kitchen’s doorway. Castiel and Dean feel a small shiver in their bodies. This isn’t good. If she is there, waiting, it is because she wants to have sex with Dean.

Jo is looking angry at the two of them, while Dean and Castiel are wearing their poker faces. Suddenly, Jo’s sight goes to Castiel instead of Dean, and Dean starts to feel real fear as he looks at Jo and then he looks at Castiel. _No, please, don’t hurt Castiel, don’t you dare to hurt him._

But Jo is quick and she uses the stun gun with Castiel, who passes out immediately, falling down. His sight turns black and he loses consciousness but he can hear Dean screaming his name before he falls into darkness. Dean is about to catch him, but Jo places the stun gun behind Dean’s chin and she pushes him away from Castiel.

“Touch him or try to do something and I will hurt him in awful ways.” Jo warns with anger in her voice. Dean hesitates and he looks at Cas and then, he looks at Jo. “You know I can and I will if you touch him or protect him.”

Dean glares her. He is really furious. He looks at Castiel, who is lying on the floor. He can’t let him suffer Jo’s anger but if he does something, Jo will do something awful to Castiel, and Dean really doesn’t want to do that. Dean is on the horns of a dilemma and it doesn’t matter what he decides; Castiel will end up hurt and he hates it.

“You are like him.” Jo finally says. “The last time I used the stun gun against you and you passed out in front of him, he wanted to help you.” She says disgusted. “He is your weak spot and you are his.”

Dean would love to punch her in the face, he is dying to do it, he is even fisting his hands, but it he does it, Castiel will be the one paying his actions. “I hate you.” Dean finally says with rage.

Jo smiles happily; she is enjoying seeing Dean this angry. “Alastair.” She says with her military voice. Alastair approaches and he dedicates Dean a smug face. “Bring Castiel to the punishment room and prepare everything I told you before.” She adds. Dean hates how that sounded. He looks at Castiel. She can’t do this to Cas, he hasn’t do anything wrong.

Alastair grabs Castiel’s legs and he starts to drag Castiel. Dean is clenching his teeth as he is glaring Jo. He knows that if he could kill with his sight, Jo would have died minutes ago.

“Azazel.” Jo says. Now Azazel is the one who approaches. “Bring Dean to his bedroom.”

Azazel is about to grab him, but Dean pulls away. He doesn’t want any of this. He wants to go and rescue Castiel, to help him.

“If you resist, I will torture him by removing his nails.” Jo says.

Dean freezes. Imagining Castiel screaming, being tortured like that scares Dean more than anything. Castiel has suffered enough during his whole life, he doesn’t need any more suffering. Dean feels as if a load fell in his whole body, getting him exhausted. He hates being this impotence, unable to help Castiel. If he does something, Cas will suffer a lot and Dean can’t stand that.

“I’ll go to my bedroom by myself. I don’t need him to bring me there.” Dean says with a frustrated voice. Dean starts to walk towards the bedroom and he hears how Jo’s heels sound against the stairs.

His poor Castiel. Dean can’t stand any of this, he must do something, but if he does it, Castiel will be tortured and no, Dean can’t let that happen. He can’t fight for his Cas and he hates himself for that.

Dean is soon is his bedroom and he closes the door. He sits on the floor, with his back and head resting against the wall. He places his hands on his face. He regrets this. He should fight, he should do something, but knowing that if he does any of that it will have awful consequences to his friend, scares the shit out of Dean. He fucking hates being this useless, this impotence.  
Soon, Castiel will wake up and he will be punished. Dean wishes that it won’t hurt but he knows it is going to be fucking painful.

 

When Castiel wakes up, he is in the punishment room. He is been there a couple of times, but tonight, the room is extremely cold. When Castiel breathes a thick mist appears in the air. He knows why; Jo activated the option of the freezer of that room. A lot of people in the Brown Lands like to punish their slaves with freezing temperatures. They use their punishment rooms as a cold storage. He knew there was one in that house, in the punishment room, but he didn’t know Jo liked to use it.

Castiel’s sight is blurry and his head hurts a little and that cold isn’t helping. Also, he is with his wrists tied with a rope that hangs from the ceiling, he is shirtless and he is trembling, he has goose bumps and his lungs hurt when he breathes, he can feel how they want to freeze. It is really cold. He has never felt this cold before.

After some seconds, he sees Jo, standing in front of him. She is wearing a thick mink coat and she is wearing leather gloves. Next to her, there is Alastair, wearing a wool coat. He looks at Jo and she nods, then, Alastair moves, being behind Castiel.

“I must admit I am surprised.” Jo confesses approaching Castiel.

“Surprised for what?” Castiel says. The thick mist appears, hiding for some moments Jo’s face.

“Don’t play the idiot with me Castiel.” She says angrily and nailing Castiel’s cheeks with strength. “You stole that apple.” Castiel opens widely his eyes. “See? Now you remember.” She says with that creepy smirk. She pulls her hand away, leaving the marks of the gloves’ sewing in Castiel’s cheeks. “Alastair saw you and you left the apple in the kitchen. It was bitten. He told me everything.”

Castiel tries to turn his face to Alastair, who is behind him, doing something that Castiel can’t see, but Castiel can’t turn his face properly and he can’t glare Alastair. He clenches his teeth and he glares Jo.

“He is a liar!” Castiel shouts.

Jo’s sight gets angrier and suddenly, Alastair appears with a bucket and he throws the content at Castiel; it is cold water with ice cubes. Castiel is now soaked, from his head to his feet and he is even colder right now.

“He isn’t a liar.” Jo bears out. Her heels sound with every step she makes. “I know he wouldn’t steal food from me.”

“You are ingenuous.” He makes an angry smirk. That makes Jo get angrier and she slaps him. Castiel doesn’t make any sound; he doesn’t want to give her that satisfaction.

“We give you a place to sleep and food and you steal to us!” She shouts furiously. Castiel knows how much people with white collars hate when a slave picks something or steals; it sends fire to their veins. “And you dare to say that you didn’t do it when I have the proof!”

“It was Alastair!” Castiel yells angrily and frustrated. Seconds after yelling, he feels cold water with ice being thrown at him again, but this time it has been thrown from his back. He is starting to feel dangerously cold; his teeth are clattering. He doesn’t feel any warmth in his body.

Jo pouts and then she moves, until she is facing Castiel’s back. “You should be thanking that it is me the one who is punishing you. If my father found out that you stole an apple—”

“I didn’t steal it!”

Jo grabs his hair strongly, as if she wanted to tear it apart; Castiel knows that gesture too much; the Master used to do it all the time. He can’t help feeling that fear again. He feels like if he was in that bed, naked, tied, being raped and hurt and he is feeling really bad. There are a lot of bad memories coming to his mind and they aren’t doing anything good to him.

“Stop lying!” Jo says. She tightens Castiel’s wet hair and Castiel grunts as she starts to twist her fingers in it in a painful way. “If you keep saying that you didn’t do it, that it was Alastair, I will hurt you more.” She releases Castiel’s hair abruptly. “Throw him another bucket with water and ice.” She orders to Alastair.

Alastair complies and he throws at Castiel the cold water with ice. Castiel is trembling. He is freezing. The air he breathes is like burning ice. His skin is really sensitive right now and his bones and muscles hurt because of the cold temperature of the room. He is all soaked and it makes Castiel feel even colder. His body temperature is dangerously cold and low.

“Ice is a really good weapon.” Jo starts to say. “It is cold, sharp and it doesn’t leave any fingerprints on it; it just melts. It is the perfect weapon to murder.” She sounds pleased. She walks until she is facing Castiel. She is holding a huge and sharp icicle. She smiles at Castiel before she walks back behind him.

Then, Castiel starts to feel how Jo starts to cut his back with the icicle. His skin burns, but there is a freezing and annoying feeling as the icicle tears his skin apart. She doesn’t cut Castiel’s back too deep, but she is cutting him in a painful way. Castiel can’t see her, but she is smiling happily.

Castiel feels how the blood runs down his back as she cuts him. She even passes the icicle several times through the same wound, making him bleed even more. Castiel closes his eyes, holding the grunt his throat wants to let out. There isn’t only the pain, there is also the feeling of cold and the ice that wants to burn his lungs every time he breathes.

After a while, Jo stops using icicle to hit Castiel with a thick and hard block of ice, bruising the bloody back. She uses it where there aren’t important bones. Then, another bucket with cold water and ice is thrown at him again and Jo starts to make some more bruises in Castiel’s back; she isn’t happy with her bloody painting yet.

Everything is ice and blood. Pain and cold. And Castiel’s mind is feeling dizzy and his whole body feels too heavy and it burns coldly with pain. Warmth abandoned his body several minutes ago, leaving him only with the ice. He can’t feel his hands properly; the rope is tight and the cold doesn’t help him to feel his hands, but he can feel perfectly every single part of his body that it is being hurt and wounded.

After some more buckets, a few more movements of the icicle in the wounds that were already made and a few more knocking with the ice block, Jo unties him and Castiel falls into his knees as if he was a heavy load. Jo and Alastair leave the room after turning off the freezer function and switching off the lights, leaving Castiel on his knees and freezing.

Castiel is really tired and really cold. He needs to get out of there, he needs to go to his bedroom, to find Dean and his wonderful warmth. But he can’t move; his strengths are gone, he is too hurt, too tired, too exhausted, too impaired. His legs don’t move, he is immobile, staring at the floor, breathing with the last strength he has. He is trembling. He knows that if he stays in there, if he passes out in that cold room, he knows he won’t wake up. He is in the edge on hypothermia and if he doesn’t get warm soon, he will die; he is extremely cold. He needs to do the last effort, he needs to go back to Dean; if he is going to die, he needs to see Dean for one last time. He wants Dean to be the last person he sees. He wants to see those stunning green eyes for one last time.

Castiel finds the last strength he has and he stands up, after picking the t-shirt and the sweater from the floor, and he starts to walk slowly. He isn’t sure he is going to make it, but he has to walk, he has to come back to Dean.

He has never realized until now how really far their bedroom is. It is the last one in the hall, which it isn’t too long, but right now, it seems it is several miles long. But Castiel keeps walking, with short and slow steps, feeling how it is harder to walk with every step he makes, how he feels colder and more tired every second, how he is shivering more and more. He feels really bad, everything hurts and everything is cold.

His sight is starting to turn everything into black, the darkness is taking over him but Castiel forces himself to walk a few more steps. When he has his hand in the handle, Castiel passes out, but the door is opened.

Dean is in his bed and when he sees the door is opened, but Castiel is passed out, he jumps out of the bed and he runs towards Castiel. “Cas!” Dean yells when he kneels to catch Castiel. When he touches his face, he feels how freaking cold his friend is. Dean moves his hand to touch Castiel’s sides, he is even colder. He sees the back bleeding and then, Dean searches for Castiel’s pulse; it is really low, almost nonexistent. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.” Dean says. “Cas, please, hold on, hold on.” He says desperate.  
Dean picks the clothes quickly and he throws them in the bedroom, then, he places one of Castiel’s arms around his shoulders and he starts to raise him as he places his other hand on Castiel’s waist, so Castiel can’t fall down. He closes the door and he locks it, then, he carries Castiel to the bathroom as fast as he can and he sits Castiel in the toilet.

Castiel is freaking cold; he is unconscious and he is shivering. This is really bad, too fucking bad. Dean is really scared right now. He knows Castiel is suffering hypothermia; he needs to get him as warm as he can as soon as possible; if he doesn’t, Cas will die.

Dean moves fast through the bathroom, wasting no time. He doesn’t have the luxury. He covers Castiel with a towel and he starts to take him off his boots, his socks and his pants, leaving only his boxers on. He now wraps Castiel’s legs with another towel. Then, Dean opens the tap and he starts to fill the bath with the hottest water. As the water fills the bath, Dean moves his hands in Castiel’s legs, arms and chest, trying to warm him up with his shaky movements.

“Hold on, Cas, please hold on. Don’t die, please.” Dean says breathy. Castiel is in really bad conditions, he is still trembling and he doesn’t get warm. Dean is suffering; he can’t stand the idea of losing Cas. Cas has to live. “Fight, Cas, for fuck’s sake, fight. Hold on a bit more.” He knows how desperate and heartbreaking his voice is. Dean is scared. He doesn’t know if Castiel will make it. “Just hold on. The bath is almost prepared. Soon you will be warm again. Please, Cas, please.” His voice is all broken and fragile.

Dean is about to cry. He cups Castiel’s face, it is still cold. Dean searches for Castiel’s pulse again, it is still really low. Dean is terrified. He needs to stay calm, to help Castiel, but the idea of Castiel dying makes it impossible to Dean to think properly.

The bath is ready and Dean turns off the tap and he removes all the towels from Cas and he carries Castiel to the bath and he drops him softly in the hot water. He leans Castiel’s head in one of the borders of the bath and then, Dean cups Castiel’s face.

“Please, wake up Cas. Please. Please.” Dean murmurs.

Castiel is still. He doesn’t react. The water is extremely hot but Castiel is still cold. Dean can’t pull his hand away from Castiel and he can’t stop looking at him with glassy eyes. His Cas, his lovely Cas, why did they do this to him? The wounds in his back weren’t enough, Jo had to freeze him.

“C’mon, c’mon, c’mon. Cas, wake up. You have to wake up.” Dean begs. He sounds so broken, desperate and devastated. “You promised me you weren’t going to leave me, you weren’t going to die. Fight, Cas, fight, please I—” He makes a sob and he feels how his eyes are burning with the tears he isn’t letting out. “I need you. Wake up, Cas. Wake up!”

Castiel doesn’t react. He has to react. Dean will do anything, whatever, he doesn’t care, as long as Cas is alive. He is starting to rave. No one will help him to wake Cas up. Dean is all alone, with Castiel really cold and still. Dean closes his eyes for a moment and a tear falls down. He makes a choky sob and he stares at Castiel again. Castiel can’t be taken away, he doesn’t deserve it.

“It’s all my fault, I should have done something to avoid Jo to hurt you I—” The words are stuck in his throat and he can’t let them out. Cas is there, almost in the edge on death, and Dean is terrified, more than in his whole life. “Don’t die.” He makes another sob and he starts to stoke with his thumb Castiel’s cheek. “Don’t you dare to die Cas. I need you. I need you. Cas, wake up, don’t leave me, I can’t—” He makes a choky sob again. “If you aren’t here I don’t— I can’t— Please, I need you, Cas.”

Castiel moves his head slightly and Dean opens his eyes widely shocked by it. After some seconds, Castiel opens slightly his eyes and he moves slowly his eyes to meet Dean’s.

“Dean?” Castiel says breathy.

Dean makes a trembling smile. “Yeah, Cas, it’s me.” Dean says as another tear appears falling down from his eye. He closes his eyes and makes a sob, letting a few more tears to fall down. Then, he opens his eyes and he caresses Castiel’s cheek with his thumb again as he starts to breathe in a shaky way. “Fuck, I thought—”

Castiel closes his eyes and makes a sad grin. He presses his cheek against Dean’s hand, feeling his warmth. “Dean.” He says with a soft voice. “How did I end up here?”

Dean sighs. “You opened the door and passed out. When I touched you, you were fucking cold, extremely cold, you were trembling and you didn’t react, so I carried you to here, I take all your clothes off, except your underwear, I covered you with towels and I prepared a hot bath.” He explains fast. He is still breathing in a shaky way. Castiel is alive, but he can’t take all his fears away.

Castiel looks at the water; it is dyed in red because of the blood from his wounds. He opens his eyes slowly to see Dean’s frightened eyes. “I should better sink my head in the water.” He says tiredly. Dean nods and he pulls his hand away. Castiel sinks completely in the water, feeling the nice temperature. He stays under the water for some seconds, until he emerges his face. He rubs his eyes to remove the remaining water and then, he leans his back in one of the bath walls.

“Are you feeling less cold?”

“A bit. I still feel cold.”

Dean takes a deep breath. “Why did that monster do any of this?” He cups Castiel’s face again and this time, Castiel places his hand above one of Dean’s.

“I saw Alastair taking an apple from the kitchen and he told Jo I was the one that stole it.” He simply answers.

“I’m gonna kill him.” Dean says furious. He can’t believe Alastair did something like that. Jo almost killed Castiel because the motherfucker knew it would be good to hide his act by inculpating Castiel. “Didn’t you tell her he was lying?” He asks.

“I did. But she didn’t believe me. You know how she is. If Alastair says something, she believes him.” He explains tiredly. He closes his eyes, focusing on the nice touch of Dean cupping him.

“I thought I was going to lose you.” Dean says with a broken voice.

“I thought I was going to die too.” He sighs. He opens his eyes and he sees Dean’s are glassy and sad. “But it seems that you will have to still put up with me.” He smiles.

Dean closes his eyes and he takes a deep breath before he makes a tiny smile. “Fuck, I—” He looks at Castiel. Dean exhales sharply and he strokes Castiel’s cheek with his thumb again. “I was so fucking scared.”

“I know. I’m always scared when she hurts you. I know how it feels.” He says. “I was scared when she punished me.”

“She gets pretty psycho.” He spits the words with rage. “What did she do to you? I wanted to help you, but she said that if I tried anything, she will tear off your nails.”

Castiel looks at him. Jo used him against Dean and threatened him. “She didn’t do anything like that.” He starts to explain. He rubs his cheek against Dean’s palm and Dean makes a tiny sweet smile. “She froze the punishment room, Alastair threw at me buckets filled with cold water and ice, she hurt me with icicles and she hit me with an ice block.”

“Holy fuck.”

There is a silence. The steam from the hot water is filling the bathroom, wetting and warming the atmosphere. The water is turning redder with Castiel’s blood as seconds pass, drawing whimsical curves on the water until it blends into an uniform color. The water is starting to get colder, but it is still warm. Castiel’s body isn’t as cold as before, but he is still cold. The hot water is nice against his freezing skin and Dean’s warm touch is heartwarming.

Castiel leans in Dean’s palm and he closes his eyes. It is extremely nice to feel Dean. That is everything he needs. He is really tired and hurt, but Dean’s touch helps him to feel better. If it wasn’t for Dean, Castiel wouldn’t be awake now.

“I should heal the wounds in your back.” Dean murmurs. His voice is soft and warm and Castiel likes it.

“Okay.” Castiel whispers. He opens his eyes. He tries to get up, but he is really weak right now that he can’t.

“Let me help you.” Dean helps him to stand and he sits Castiel in the border of the bath. Then, Dean removes the cap and the bloody water starts to fall into the drain.

Castiel watches how the water disappears. It is hypnotic and a bit dizzy. Seeing how that small whirlwind or red water spins and spins makes him feel a bit groggy. He looks away after a while and he feels how Dean sits behind him.

“I’m cold, Dean.” Castiel murmurs breathily.

“I know.” Dean says sadly. He touches Castiel’s back, in the space in between his blades and he feels that Castiel is cold. Dean sighs and he takes off his t-shirt. Then, he approaches Castiel, leaving no space in between and he hugs him, pressing Castiel’s bloody and wet back against his chest.

“Dean, what are you doing?” Castiel asks confused.

“Hugging you. Human temperature helps to warm someone. I’m your personal heater, remember?” He explains as he places his hands in Castiel’s chest.

“Dean, I’m bleeding, I’m going to spoil your chest with my blood.” He says worried.

“Fuck the blood. I’m going to warm you up for a while. You are freaking cold.”

Castiel sighs and he leans his temple in Dean’s cheek. “Thanks.” He closes his eyes and he focuses on Dean’s warmth, on how great it feels Dean’s skin against him. Castiel can feel softly Dean’s heart in his back. This is more than he should ever have, he knows it.

“Are you okay?” Dean asks after a few minutes.

“No. I’m not.” He takes a deep breath. “I’ve never been okay, Dean. Something’s wrong with me.” He starts to say. “There’s something really wrong with me.” Words are coming out easily, although it hurts to let them out. He has always believed that something is wrong with him, but he never said it out loud. “That’s why the punish me, Dean. Because I’m a mistake.”

“Don’t you ever dare to say that.” Dean says angry but calmed. “You are perfect, Cas, you are fucking perfect. You are awesome. There’s nothing wrong with you. It’s the rest of people from this country who are wrong, who are the monsters. You are too good for them, that’s why they do this awful things to you, because you are too good for this world.” Dean explains. He presses his nose against Castiel, who makes a small sob. “You are fucking perfect, Cas. Don’t you ever say or think that there’s something wrong with you ‘cause there isn’t. You are perfect.” He presses a kiss in Castiel’s temple and Castiel drops a tear.

Castiel buries his face in Dean’s neck, feeling the black collar in his forehead. Dean tightens Castiel with his arms. Castiel can’t understand why Dean thinks all of that; he is broken, hurt, weak, a mess and yet, Dean says he is perfect. Dean is the perfect one, he is strong, caring, funny, intelligent and everything Castiel admires and loves. Suddenly, Castiel moves his head and he kisses Dean’s jaw. It is a small kiss, but it warms Dean’s heart. Castiel buries his face in Dean’s neck again and he lets Dean’s warmth heat up his body.

After some minutes in silence, with Dean holding Cas, warming him up, Dean releases him. His chest is covered in some parts with Castiel’s blood, but he doesn’t care; Castiel is a bit warmer than before, that’s what matters.

Dean cleans himself quickly and then, he starts to clean Castiel’s wounds. The wounds are really marked, but they aren’t too deep. Castiel closes his eyes as Dean cleans his wounds with a warm cloth; Dean warmed it with some hot water.

“How are you feeling?” Dean asks.

“Tired. Hurt. Exhausted.” Castiel answers tiredly. “And I still feel cold.”

“Once I finish with your wounds, I will dry you and I’ll get you clothes.”

“Thank you Dean.” 

Dean makes a tiny smile. He looks at Castiel’s back. How many times has that back suffered the anger from a person with a white collar? He is scared of that answer. He knows it must be near the hundreds. Dean wonders if when Jo was punishing Castiel, his friend remembered anything from the Master. He hopes that he didn’t, but he is almost one hundred percent sure that Castiel remembered it.

Now Dean is applying Castiel’s homemade antiseptic, being as gentle and sweet as he can; the last thing he wants is to hurt Castiel a little bit more. Castiel had enough pain for tonight. He had enough pain for his whole life. Dean should have been the one punished, he would have offered himself. He would have done anything to avoid this amount of pain in Castiel.

The bands come after the antiseptic. Dean cuts with his hands some pieces and he places them in Castiel’s back, covering the wounds and putting some tape to the bands, to keep them in place. As he puts them, he can feel Castiel is starting to feel cold again. Fuck, it seems that Castiel isn’t going to get warm ever.

When Dean has finished, he hugs Castiel again and he rubs with his hands Castiel’s arms, trying to warm him. Castiel nuzzles Dean’s neck, showing how thankful he is for everything that Dean is doing. No one of them cares about if it is crossing the line of friendship. Tonight that doesn’t matter; tonight isn’t the time to think about any of that. Dean has to warm Castiel and give him all the care and sweetness he needs. Dean has been through this, although he hasn’t been in the border of death, but he knows how fragile, broken, tired and devastated you feel after being punished. You welcome every single small gentle touch and you hang yourself in them, because they feel nice and sweet and it helps a lot.

“I’m going to dry you, okay?” Dean says. He has stopped rubbing his hands in Castiel’s arms.

“Okay.” Castiel says with a sweet but tired voice.

Dean moves as fast as he can through the bathroom. He doesn’t want to waste any second. He picks the towel and he starts to dry Castiel’s messy hair. Castiel makes a low purr; he likes the way Dean dries his hair. Dean leaves it as dried as possible and really messy, but Castiel doesn’t mind about his wild hair. Then, Dean starts to dry Castiel’s body, rubbing the towel softly but with energy; trying to warm up a little bit Castiel’s body as he dries him.

“I’m going to pick you some boxers.” Dean announces when he finishes drying Castiel, who nods. Dean goes really fast and comes back in less than a few seconds. He stands in front of Castiel. “Do you need help to put them on?”

Castiel blushes a little bit and Dean is glad to see that; if Cas is blushed, it means that he is starting to feel better. “Help me to stand up.”

Dean helps Castiel to stand up. Castiel finds it hard to stay still, he balances a bit and his head spins a little. He has to hold himself in one of Dean’s arms while Dean holds him by placing his hands in Castiel’s waist.

“If I release you, you fall.” Dean murmurs.

“I know.” Castiel says with an uncomfortable grin.

“Okay.” Dean says closing his eyes. “Change while I hold you. I won’t look.”

Castiel makes a soft smile. “I know you won’t.”

Dean holds him softly but with a firm touch; he doesn’t want Castiel to fall down. Meanwhile, Castiel starts to take off his wet underwear. It feels really strange to be completely naked in front of Dean, who is only wearing his underwear. It is the first time Castiel is completely naked in front of Dean and he doesn’t feel terrified; he feels safe. He makes a tiny smile and he now starts to put the dried underwear on.

When he is with his dried boxers on, Castiel overbalances, so Dean gasps and he holds him tighter, avoiding the fall. Castiel drops slightly himself in Dean, embracing Dean’s neck with his arms.

“I’ve got you, Cas.” Dean says hugging Castiel by his waist; he doesn’t want to touch the hurt back.

“Like always.” Castiel says. He feels really dizzy and tired, but holding Dean like this, smelling his scent really makes him feel better; of course it doesn’t take the pain away or the dizziness, but it makes Castiel feel better. “You can open your eyes.” He says after a while.

Dean opens them and he tightens Castiel a little bit. Castiel nuzzles again his neck and Dean embraces him tighter, trying not to hurt his wounded back. Dean presses a soft kiss in Castiel’s head and Castiel buries his face in Dean’s neck. He feels safe and great while Dean is holding him.

After some seconds, he pulls away and Castiel does the same, but Dean keeps holding Castiel’s waist; he knows if he releases him, he will fall down.

“Let me pick my t-shirt.” Dean says. He moves, but he still has one of his hands in Castiel. “Put it on. It is a bit warm because I was wearing it.”

Castiel picks it and he puts it on. It smells like Dean and the smell it is overwhelming. He really likes that. Also, the t-shirt is a bit warm, so Castiel really thanks it.

“Tonight you sleep with me, okay?” Dean says holding Castiel by his shoulders. They start to walk towards Dean’s bed. “I’ll be your heater tonight.”

Castiel smiles. The idea sounds wonderful. “Thanks.” He says with a low voice.

Dean helps him to get into the bed, being very careful of not hurting him or making him fall. Castiel lies aside in the bed and then, Dean goes to the wardrobe and he searches for a t-shirt and he puts it on. Then, he switches off the lamp and he gets in the bed.

Dean lies aside as well and he embraces Castiel, who moves towards Dean, leaving no space in between them. He needs to feel Dean. Dean is safe, Dean is warm, Dean is everything nice and good that Castiel needs. He places his face in Dean’s neck, so Dean’s chin is resting in Castiel’s head.

After some seconds, Castiel embraces Dean and he starts to fist the back of Dean’s t-shirt. He can’t hold his pain anymore, he needs to cry or he will explode. He feels really bad; not only because of the physical pain, because of the emotional too. He has remembered too many things from the past and although Dean has told him that he is perfect and he has cared for Castiel like no one else has ever done, Castiel still feels broken and he needs to take away his pain somehow.

“It’s okay Cas.” Dean starts to say as he runs his fingers sweetly through Castiel’s hair. “I’m here. Just let out all that crap. Nothing bad is going to happen to you while I’m holding you.”

Castiel sobs with that. Dean is right. Nothing bad is going to happen to him while he is in his arms. Dean is too good for Castiel, he threats him with love and care. Dean, his Dean, who is now saying calming words to Cas, holding him, caressing his hair, hearing his sobs. What would Castiel do without Dean?

Castiel keeps crying and sobbing until he is too tired that slumber comes for him. He is falling asleep in Dean’s warm, safe and strong arms. This is good, this is nice. Dean keeps calming him with his sweet words.

“I’m here Cas. It’s okay. Everything is going to be okay.” Dean says.

Castiel falls asleep with those words and he doesn’t know if the kiss in his forehead happened or if it was a dream; anyways, it felt really good.

Dean looks at Castiel, sleeping in his arms. His poor Castiel, he had a long and awful night. He didn’t deserve it. What they did to him it is horrible, he could have died if Dean wasn’t there to help him. But right now, luckily, Castiel is in his arms, sleeping quietly, with a calm breathing. Dean tightens him and he feels that Castiel is starting to be warmer, the coldness is starting to disappear slowly. It is a relief. Dean can breathe properly now.

He can’t believe what they have done to Castiel. He has never seen Castiel like this, not even when he told Dean the story from his past. Tonight Castiel has been hurt in so many ways and it was because Alastair knew Castiel saw him with that apple. Castiel has been punished for a fucking apple and because Alastair is the biggest bastard on earth.

Dean feels a lot of rage and frustration. Castiel has suffered a lot of because of Alastair; Cas could have died because Alastair decided to inculpate Castiel, because that motherfucker thought that Castiel could tell Jo what he saw.

Dean looks again at Castiel, all calmed, with a small painful face and he presses his cheek against Castiel’s head.

“I thought I was going to lose you, Cas.” Dean starts to whisper. He knows Castiel is sleeping soundly, he isn’t going to hear him, but Dean doesn’t care. “I was so fucking scared. The simple thought of losing you scares the shit out of me.” He takes a deep breath. “He is going to pay for this, for what he has done.” He says angrily. “I swear to you that Alastair is going to pay for what he has done. That bastard is going to regret hurting you. I will make him regret it.”


	23. I care

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, for the kudos, the comments, the bookmarks and the subscriptions. Thanks a lot.

When the alarm clock sounds, Castiel doesn’t want to wake up; he wants to stay the whole day in Dean’s bed with him, feeling safe, warm, taking Dean’s comfort. But he knows he can’t. If he doesn’t show up to work, he can be punished again and he really doesn’t want that.

Dean turns off the alarm clock and he starts to stroke Castiel’s hair. “Hey.” Dean mumbles. He is still a bit sleepy. Castiel doesn’t answer; he buries his face in Dean’s neck. “How are you?”

“Tired. Too tired. But I’m warm.” Castiel answers.

“Finally you warmed up.”

“Thanks to the wonderful heater sleeping next to me.”

Dean laughs softly and tightens Castiel a little bit more. “If you are joking it means that you are feeling a little bit better.”

Castiel nods. “I will never be able to thank you what you did to me enough.” He says shyly.

“Cas, you have done the same things for me several times, you don’t have to thank me anything.” He rubs his cheek in Castiel’s hair. It feels so natural this morning to be like this with Cas that Dean can’t help doing it.

“I knew you were going to say that.” He smiles softly. Then he sighs. “I want to stay all day in bed with you.” He fists Dean’s t-shirt and he presses himself even more against Dean’s body. It is so warm and so nice that Castiel doesn’t want to lose it.

“Me too. But we can’t, y’know it.” He takes a deep breath and he opens his eyes. He moves his face to see Castiel’s; his face isn’t as pale as last night, there is a bit of color in his cheeks, but his eyes show he is tired and feeling a bit of pain. “How’s your back?”

“Still in pain, but not much.” He says standing up. Luckily he isn’t feeling dizzy anymore, but his head hurts just a little. He rubs his eyes and he gets out of bed slowly.

“You want some help or are you doing good?” Dean asks worried.

“I’m good. It’s just that my head hurts a bit, but it’s not important.” He looks at Dean, who has his concerned look in his eyes. “Dean, really, don’t worry.” He tries to sound as sweet as possible; he worried Dean too much last night, he needs to stop being so worried for Castiel for a bit, although Castiel knows him too well and he knows that Dean will never stop worrying about him; Castiel always worries about Dean.

“Okay.” He makes a grin. He isn’t too convinced. “If you need something, just call me.”

“I will.”

But Castiel doesn’t need any help from Dean, fortunately. He isn’t as tired and weak as last night. He is still tired, but he doesn’t feel like the world is turning upside down with every step he takes. The back hurts, but not as much as last night; Dean did a good work healing him. He remembers Dean’s words, telling him he was perfect and Castiel smiles. If he could only believe that too…

Everything goes as usual; when Castiel’s turn is the bathroom is over, it is Dean’s turn. When he finishes, he and Castiel go to the kitchen to have breakfast. They walk slowly; Castiel is still tired and Dean doesn’t want to suffocate him. Cas can’t take a break today, so Dean will try to avoid Castiel do a lot of efforts.

When they arrive at the kitchen, Alastair’s expectant look is the first thing they see. Castiel ignores him; he is too tired to argue with him or to just pay him attention. Dean, otherwise, has to fight the urge to hit that smug face with a chair. He knows he swore to make him pay for what he did to Castiel, but Dean isn’t stupid, he is reckless, but not stupid. If he beats the crap out of Alastair right now, in front of everyone, he will get into trouble and Jo will punish him and Castiel. And he isn’t scared about being punished; he is scared about Castiel being punished again.

So Dean just glares Alastair with his most deadly sight; Dean will be patient and he will wait for the perfect moment to get his revenge. But first he has to take care of Castiel; Dean can make Alastair pay one of these days, but he must take care of Castiel first and ensure that his friend will be soon as fine as always, with his pretty smile on his face again.

Also, Dean has to think when and where he can attack Alastair. He will have to observe for a couple of days some of Alastair’s routine and some of his movements, but sooner or later Dean is going to make him pay for what his action caused to Cas.

 

A couple of days pass and Castiel starts to feel better. His back is healed; Dean checked it out when he wanted to change the bands for new ones; some wounds healed quicker than others, but finally, after some days, they were all healed. Also, Cas has started to smile again brightly thanks to Dean, who is happy to see that his friend is as good as always. It is a relief after what happened the night Castiel almost died.

Dean is now working on the garage and he knows suppertime is close; his stomach can tell it. After being in that house for several months, working and eating every single day at the same hours, he is used to it. Nevertheless, he will wait for Cas to come and tell him it is the time. Dean loves when Castiel comes to the garage to tell him it is time to eat. He is so happy to see Dean and of course, Dean is really happy to see Cas; he always smiles like an idiot when he sees him.

“Hello Dean.” Castiel greets when he arrives.

Dean, like always, turns his face to Castiel and he dedicates him a beautiful smile. “Hey Cas. Just hold on a few seconds.” Dean closes the hood of the car and then, he goes towards the sink to wash his dirty hands. Oil sticks easily to his skin and it takes Dean a few rubs to remove it. “How are you?” He knows Castiel’s back is healed, but he knows for personal experience that the scars can itch or be a bit annoying.

“I’m good. You ask me that every single day, Dean.” He smiles.

“I know. I just want to know it.” He dries his hands on his jeans. He knows it is a bad habit, but he does it anyways. “I worry about you.”

“I know.” He blushes a little bit. “I appreciate it, but I’m telling you, I’m good. My back is healed and I don’t feel tired or exhausted.” He starts to walk towards Dean. “I’m good, seriously.”

“Okay. Then I won’t ask tomorrow.” He says pouting. That makes Castiel smile and blush a little bit.

They go to the kitchen. Dean checks discretely where the other slaves sit. Alastair is there. Dean turns his sight away and he sits in his spot, with Castiel in front of him. Dean has been observing Alastair; he is usually the last one to leave the kitchen after suppertime. Also, Dean knows which his bedroom is. He is going to make him pay tonight for what he did to Castiel, although his friend doesn’t know his intentions. He doesn’t want to worry Cas.

Castiel and Dean eat, talking a bit of everything, murmuring or talking really low, keeping their privacy from the rest of slaves. They know that sometimes the other slaves glare them, but it is only for a while, until they realize that Dean and Cas ignore them and it doesn’t matter how much time they are being stared, they aren’t going to pay any attention to the others.

When Castiel and Dean finish their dinners, they go to their bedroom, and when they are in front of the door, Dean stops and he pretends he is remembering something.

“What’s wrong?” Castiel says turning over to see him. He is frowning in confusion.

“I forgot to tell Crowley about the Pontiac.” Dean lies. He hates lying to Cas too much, but the less he knows about beating the shit out of Alastair, the best.

Castiel grimaces. “Maybe if you wait for him to finish his dinner, you can tell him.”

“Yeah. I’m going to see him. Just get in the bedroom. I’ll be back soon.” He says casually.

Castiel nods and he gets in the bedroom as Dean starts to walk. When he hears the door being closed, he turns his face and then, he goes to Alastair’s bedroom, which is right now empty, but Alastair will come soon, so he will wait there, next to the door.

Castiel explained that all the bedrooms work with an electronic system that locks the door and with a sensor that detects the number of people that get in the bedroom. If in the bedroom there are two people living, and the two of them are in the bedroom, the door can’t be opened from the inside, but it can be opened from the hall. But if another person gets in the bedroom, the sensor detects that there is one more person than it should, so now, that door can be opened from the bedroom. Of course, once that person has left the bedroom and closes the door, it can’t be opened until 7:30 arrives, because the sensor knows there are two people in the bedroom.

It took time to Dean to fully understand it, but he finally got how the system works. Alastair’s bedroom is for only one person, so the sensor has detected that now there is one person. Once Alastair arrives, the sensor will detect him and Dean will be able to open the door and leave when he finishes beating Alastair, because there will be two people instead of the one that has to be.

He hears how someone is in front of the door and Dean tenses before taking a deep breath. He relaxes, but his adrenaline is starting to run his whole body. Then, the door is opened and it hides Dean, who watches how Alastair gets in the bedroom. Dean closes the door quickly, surprising Alastair and then, Dean punches him in the face, making Alastair to fall down in the floor.

“You thought nothing was going to happen to you, right?” Dean says kicking Alastair’s stomach. “You bastard.” He is really angry and furious; just staring at Alastair makes him remember how Castiel was that night; almost dying, so broken, so tired; he couldn’t even stand. He remembers the blood and how freaking cold Castiel was. It was fucking scary.

Dean grabs Alastair by the necks of his shirt and he raises him, slamming him against the wall. Dean punches him again and Alastair punches Dean really strongly in his eyebrow. Dean feels Alastair’s hard knuckles against his skin, breaking it. Damn it, the guy is stronger that he thought, but Dean is going to beat him; Alastair deserves it.

Dean feels how a bit of blood runs down the side of his face and he head-butts Alastair’s forehead a couple of times, something that hurts him. Dean profits the situation and he punches Alastair again, breaking his nose and making it bleed. A river of blood falls down from Alastair’s nose.

Alastair smiles when Dean presses him against the wall. He makes that typical smug and smirk of his. “This is because of your lovely Castiel, huh?” Alastair asks with a jocular voice. He shows his teeth, all covered in blood, giving him a lunatic look.

Dean makes a furious face. “You told to blondie that he was the one who stole that apple because he saw you eating it.” There’s fire and rage in his words. He still can’t accept what that bastard he is holding against the wall did to Cas.

“He cried to you.” He laughs in a creepy way.

“You cried to Jo, right? Yeah, you are her little bitch.”

Alastair frowns and he tries to move, but Dean is holding him tightly and it is really difficult to get away from his grip. “You know, if she finds out what you have done to me—”

“Yeah, go and tell her.” He says cockily. “Do you think I have anything left to lose?”

“You have Castiel.” He threatens.

Dean punches him again. He hates when they use Cas against him. He knows he has broken one of Alastair’s teeth. “Do something to Castiel, anything, and I will kill you.” He says powerful.

Alastair spits the teeth away, followed by some blood, and all of them ends up on the floor. “You are bluffing.”

“Am I?” Dean makes a creepy face that scares Alastair a little. He hasn’t seen Dean this scary, this strong, this decided. “I have no trouble on killing you; I’m not scared of what blondie can do to me. If you ever hurt Castiel, if you ever tell something to Jo that makes Castiel to be punished, I will come for you and I will kill you and I will make it look like you had an accident on the bath.” He fixes his eyes in Alastair’s; they are starting to be frightened. 

“You aren’t a killer.” He almost stutters.

“Not yet.” Dean snaps. Alastair opens scarily his eyes; he knows that Dean is being serious. “Do you understand?”

Alastair glares him, but he nods.

Dean releases him and he goes towards the door. “For the record.” Dean says turning around. “If someone asks you what happened to you, you said you slipped and hit your stupid face against the border of the bath.”

“And if I don’t?” Alastair says challenging. He might be scared, but he still wants to hide it.

“I don’t think you want to know that.” He says with pride and rage. Alastair grunts, but Dean can see that Alastair will tell the lie Dean has purposed.

Dean gets out of the bedroom and he goes to his and Cas’. He could have hurt Alastair more, he was dying for it, but if Alastair appeared the next morning looking like hell, the bath’s lie wouldn’t be credible. At least Dean beat the shit out of him; a broken nose and a couple of broken teeth plus some more punches that will leave a bruise it is pretty good.

When Dean opens the bedroom door, Castiel is sitting on his bed, with his t-shirt and his underwear only, waiting for Dean, who locks the door. When Dean turns, Castiel can see the gap in Dean’s left eyebrow.

“Dean!” Castiel says approaching to him. Then, he sees a few blood scattered in Dean’s knuckles. Castiel frowns angrily. “You lied to me. You didn’t go to see Crowley.” He sounds disturbed.

Dean takes a deep breath. “Yeah, I lied.”

“What have you done?” He knows how reckless Dean is, he knows he has beaten someone and Castiel knows that it is stupid. “Who did you beat?”

“Alastair.” His answer is simple.

Castiel makes a frustrated sigh and he rubs his eyes. “I thought you were smarter. Dean, you can’t fight with slaves, and let alone with Alastair!” If Jo finds out that Dean beat Alastair, Castiel knows how terrible will be the punishment. “What will Jo say when she sees Alastair with bruises?”

“Alastair will lie.”

“And how are you so sure?”

“Because I left him clear enough that if he didn’t, he will suffer the consequences.” He isn’t going to tell Cas that he threatened Alastair with killing him. Cas is mad enough at Dean right now. Dean doesn’t need to make him be madder.

Castiel rolls his eyes and he goes towards the bathroom. “You are really stupid. Do you really think that he will do that? It’s Alastair!” He yells from the bathroom.

Dean is standing in the bedroom, looking at Cas. “I scared him, Cas! He won’t do anything!”

“And what if he emboldens and he tells Jo!” He says frustrated. He is now approaching Dean. “She will punish you and she—” He can’t finish the sentence. He doesn’t want to say it, just thinking about it, it scares him. He sighs and he starts to clean Dean’s gap and Dean grunts.

“It will be okay, Cas.”

“Nothing’s okay here, Dean. You know it.” He sounds devastated. He is cleaning now the blood’s trail on the side of Dean’s face. “If something happens to you I don’t know what—”

“It won’t, okay?” Dean interrupts. Castiel looks at him with untrusted sharp eyes. “I know he won’t tell anything.”

Castiel exhales sharply. He is now putting the antiseptic in the wound. Dean looks at him; Cas is really worried. He picks the cloth that Castiel used before and he cleans his knuckles, removing Alastair’s blood from them as Castiel is now putting a band in Dean’s wound. The gap isn’t too big, but Castiel doesn’t want it to get infected.

He picks all the things and he goes to the bathroom. “Why did you do it?” Castiel asks.

“Why do you think?” Dean says. He is now taking off his boots and he throws them with a kick next to his bed.

Castiel approaches him with a confused look. He stands in front of Dean, leaving a couple of inches in between. Dean makes an obvious look. Then Castiel realizes why and he opens his eyes widely and his lips part. “Because he made Jo punish me.”

Dean raises his eyebrows. “That’s right.”

Castiel exhales in a devastated way. “Dean, you didn’t— Oh God.” He rubs his face again. Dean took the justice by his hand and he beat Alastair because of the pain Castiel suffered. “Dean, you can’t do that!”

“Of course I can! I already did it!” He says careless.

Castiel makes a frustrated noise. “Dean, you have risked yourself for me! You didn’t have to do that!”

“Of course I had to!” He says frustrated. He looks at Castiel’s confused eyes. “Fuck, you almost died that night! And when you woke up you were as bad as hell!” He starts to explain a bit breathy but shouting. His eyes are a bit glassy; remembering that night, how he felt, how scary everything was, it still hurts him. “And you suffered all of that because that bastard played it to you! Did you expect I was going to stand idly?! Cas I care about you so fucking much and knowing that he did all of that and that he could do it any other time—“ He takes a deep breath and he looks down for a moment before he starts to speak again, rising his sight. “I had to make him pay Cas, for all the things he did to you. Because I don’t want that anything bad happens to you. I care so fucking much about you. I told you I needed you and the idea of losing you or knowing that they are hurting you, scares the shit out of me. You don’t deserve any of that. And if someone ever does anything bad to you, you can’t expect me to do nothing; I will beat the crap out of him, because you are fucking important to me.”

Castiel can’t believe Dean said all those words. He is looking at Dean with wide eyes and his lips are parted, trying to assimilate those words. He doesn’t think it once and he cups Dean’s face and he kisses him, surrendering to the urge of kissing Dean, of showing him how much those words mean to Castiel with a kiss. He kisses him with passion, with the need he has been craving for a long time and with want.

Dean is shocked by this; Cas is fucking kissing him and Dean can only stay still, trying to process what is happening. He can’t believe it; Cas is kissing him, he has his hands cupping Dean’s face and the way he is kissing him… Holy shit, Dean has been blind the whole time.

The kiss shows a bit of Castiel’s inexperience, but Dean doesn’t mind; it feels great, nevertheless, he is still shocked and he doesn’t know why he can’t kiss him back, he is too surprised that Castiel is cupping his face and kissing him. It looks unreal.  
Suddenly, Castiel realizes that Dean isn’t kissing him back. He made a mistake, he knows it. He couldn’t fight the urge of kissing Dean and he threw himself to Dean’s lips. He has been stupid. He pulls away abruptly, removing his hands from Dean’s face and looking at his friend, who is really shocked. Castiel screwed it up.

“Dean I’m sorry I shouldn’t—” Castiel starts to say.

But Dean interrupts him with a passionate kiss. He doesn’t want any apology from Cas, not after that kiss. Dean knows what that kiss meant, he knows it well. It was filled with passion, need, frustration, want, desperation and desire. It is the same Dean has been feeling for more than a month. Castiel wants this, his kiss showed it and Dean isn’t going to let it go, he is going to kiss Cas like he has been wanting to for several time.

Dean cups Castiel’s face and he kisses him with passion, need and desire, feeling those wonderful and kissable lips against his. Castiel closes his eyes and enjoys the kiss, being surprised about the fact of Dean not rejecting him; Dean wanted this like Castiel and he couldn’t see it, and right now Dean is kissing him in that perfect way and Castiel can’t think about anything else; only in Dean and his kisses and his mouth touching his.

After a while, Dean pulls his lips away to take a needy breath. Castiel breathes too. Their lips are grazing and both of them look at each other before they start kissing again. Castiel runs his fingers through Dean’s hair in a desperate way; he has wanted to do that for a long time. Dean is also running his fingers through the mess of Castiel’s hair, touching desperately, having no control at all in his fingers; he has fought this urge for so long that now, he needs to let it out.

Kisses only stop for a couple of seconds, just the enough time to take some air and keep kissing. The kisses start to be better and better. Their hands go from the hair, to their faces, to their necks. There is a lot of to touch while they kiss.

“For how long have you been wanting this?” Castiel asks in one of their small breaks to breathe. He caresses Dean’s jaw, feeling Dean’s stubble on his fingers.

Dean nuzzles Castiel’s nose and he presses his forehead against Castiel’s. “Fuck, for so long. Since your birthday or so.” He answers. “You?”

“The same; more or less.”

Dean smiles. “So we are both a couple of dumbasses?”

“We are.” He smiles happily.

Dean kisses him, feeling that smile in the kiss; fuck, it feels better than he expected, feeling Castiel’s smile while they kiss is awesome. They have been really stupid; all this time they have wanted to do this, but they thought the other one didn’t want it. Also there was the feeling of not being good enough for the other, but right now, that thought is hidden really deep somewhere in their minds, like the thought of knowing that this is forbidden, that if someone finds it out, consequences will be huge. But they bury all that crap in a deep and dark place in their minds. This feels extremely good; they haven’t felt this good ever. It isn’t time to think about all that crap, it is time to enjoy this.

They don’t stop kissing; their lips are hot and swollen, but they don’t care; they have been craving for this for so long that now it seems that they are kissing for all the times they have wanted to do it but they couldn’t. They lost count on how many times they have kissed and they don’t have any idea of where a kiss starts and where it ends. This maddening sensation, this feeling of forgetting the rest of the world, of being only focused on each other, warms their hearts. It is addicting and awesome.

Castiel’s hands start to run down Dean’s sides. He wants to feel all he can from Dean. He doesn’t know how, his hands sneak behind Dean’s t-shirt, something that makes Dean make a low moan in the kiss.

Dean pulls away from the kiss. “Cas.” He says in a kind of a moan.

Castiel is panting. He parts his lips and looks at Dean. “I don’t know if this is fine.” He says frowning in confusion.

Dean can’t help a smile. There’s his awkward Cas. “Yeah, it is okay.” He says biting his lower lip. “We can get rid of the clothes.” He starts to move his hands from Castiel’s waist until he places them on Castiel’s hipbones, sneaking his hands under the t-shirt, something that makes Castiel take a needy breath. Dean approaches a little bit more his mouth to Castiel, but he doesn’t kiss him. “We can touch and kiss wherever we want to. We can make out.” He whispers into Castiel’s mouth.

Castiel closes his eyes and he breathes again in a sharp way. He can’t think with Dean like this. It is really arousing. He opens his eyes when he feels Dean’s mouth moving away a little bit and he sees Dean’s eyes are fixed on his.

“If you want to, Cas.” Dean says. His sight is now serious. “I’m not going to force you to do anything that you don’t want to.” He is really serious.

“What’s making out?” He asks confused.

Dean smiles brightly. “Touching and kiss, basically. We can do it with or without clothes.”

“So, no sex, right?” He says a bit uncomfortable. Dean nods. Castiel sighs and he makes a thoughtful grin.

“Cas, it is okay if you only want to kiss I—”

“No, Dean.” He interrupts. He sighs and he leans his forehead on Dean’s. Dean looks at him puzzled. “I want to make out. Without clothes. It’s just that, I think about the Master and—”

“Hey.” Dean is now the one who interrupts. He cups Castiel’s face, tilting it up until their eyes meet. “Forget him right now. I know it is hard, but forget him.” He says sweetly. Castiel blinks perplexed. “Right now it is you and me, kissing and touching, okay?” He presses a small kiss on Castiel’s lips. Cas nods. “And you gotta know that I will never hurt you Cas. Never.” He sounds sweet and honest, but at the same time he sounds strong, giving Castiel all the confidence he needs. “And if I do something that you don’t like, tell me and I will stop. I’m not going to force you or do something that you don’t want to do or you aren’t prepared for.”

“I know you won’t hurt me, Dean. I know it. You know that I trust you.” He whispers into Dean’s mouth before giving him a sweet kiss. “We can make out. It sounds good.” He whispers into Dean’s mouth.

Dean is about to lose his mind if Cas keeps talking to him like this. Feeling how he says every single word against his mouth makes it difficult to Dean to breath. “Okay.” He finally says and he kisses him. Castiel’s mouth is addicting. “You sure about it?” He asks with his mouth touching Castiel’s.

Castiel nods, fondling with his nose Dean’s. “As long as it isn’t sex, I’m sure. I’m not ready for sex yet.” He says a bit ashamed.

“It’s okay, Cas, I understand.” He kisses Castiel once. “Don’t worry.” He kisses Castiel twice. “Just forget everything.” Third time. “It’s just you and me.” Fourth time.

“It’s just you and me.” Castiel repeats with a smile and Dean has to kiss that smile once again.

They keep kissing and Dean starts to take off his shirt, throwing it away. He doesn’t care where it ends, right now he only cares about being able to kiss Cas and in some moments, he will be able to touch him. He can’t help an anticipation feeling.

“Can I take your clothes off?” Castiel asks in a needy way.

Holy shit, Dean wasn’t expecting that. “Yeah. Of course.” Dean says excited.

Castiel takes Dean’s t-shirt off and Dean smiles. Now it is Castiel’s turn to kiss Dean’s smile, to feel it. It is better to feel it in reality than in a dream. It is thousands times better. He can’t believe he is now allowed to feel that smile against his lips. It all seems part of a dream, but it isn’t a dream, it is the real world; he isn’t going to wake up from this and find that everything was part of a wonderful dream and Castiel feels great to know that.

Dean guides Castiel’s hands to his jeans and Castiel unbuttons and unzips the jeans, touching slightly Dean’s crotch. It is a new sensation and Castiel must admit he likes it. Dean moans slightly against Castiel’s mouth when he feels Castiel’s hand grazing his crotch, then, Dean takes off his jeans with a shake of legs and hips and he kicks them away. Now Dean’s hands are in Castiel’s t-shirt and he takes it off.

Their hands are now on each other’s faces, cupping them as they kiss and they feel their hot chests touching. Feeling skin against skin is arousing and it sends their minds to the cliff of insanity. And they aren’t still all naked yet.

Dean’s hands are now descending until they are on the elastic of Castiel’s boxers. He pulls away from the kiss, but not so far; he wants to still feel Castiel’s lips touching his slightly. He looks at Castiel’s eyes, searching for doubt or insecure, but there isn’t any of that; Castiel eyes are shining brightly and they are filled with desire, want and passion. Castiel kisses Dean and then, he places his hands on Dean’s and he starts to pull with the help of Dean his boxers down. Castiel kicks them away when he feels them in his ankles.

Now, Castiel starts to pull Dean’s boxers down, slowly, until they fall down easily down Dean’s legs and Dean kicks them away when they are in the floor. They are all naked now, except from the black leather collars, and it is odd that they find it really natural and comfortable to be right now all naked in front of each other, feeling each other’s skin against their own.

They keep kissing for some seconds until both of them pull away. There are only a few inches left in between their mouths. They look at each other and then, Dean is the first one to break the eye contact to look at Castiel’s naked body.

“Wow, you are huge.” Dean says surprised when he looks at Castiel’s cock.

Castiel looks down and he makes a tiny cute smile. “You are pretty big too.” He says in a natural way.

Dean makes a small laugh. It is a bit strange to be talking about their penis sizes, but no one of them seems to be uncomfortable with it. Dean now looks again at Castiel’s body and he starts to stroke Castiel’s chest softly, feeling how warm it is. “You are fucking beautiful.” He says looking at Castiel’s eyes.

Castiel kisses him again. Then, he smiles and he looks at Dean’s eyes. “You are it too.” He looks at Dean’s chest. “Can I touch you?”

“Of course you can!” He says smiling brightly as he places his hand on Castiel’s waist.

Castiel starts to stroke Dean’s pectoral, right where the tattoo is, and then, he runs his hand along Dean’s chest, feeling its warmth. His skin is warm and softer than he expected. “I can’t believe I’m touching you.”

“Me neither.” Dean moves his hand and he makes circles with his thumb on Castiel’s nipple, making Cas to moan softly and Dean smiles. “You have sensitive nipples, huh?”

“Maybe. I don’t know.” He inhales sharply. It is hard to breathe when Dean touches him like this. “I’ve never been touched like this.” He moves his hand now to one of Dean’s nipples and he caresses it, mirroring Dean’s movement, making Dean to moan too. “You are sensitive there too.” He smiles.

Dean smirks. He likes that Castiel is being this open and calm right now, only thinking about the two of them. Dean kisses him passionately. “How about we lie down in bed and we keep doing this?” He murmurs against Castiel’s mouth.

Castiel doesn’t answer, he just nods; when Dean does that, he finds it hard to speak. Dean guides him to his bed while they kiss. Castiel lies down in the bed and Dean lies above Castiel. They keep kissing. Dean’s hands are stroking Castiel’s sides, feeling his skin and his muscles above his hands and fingers while Castiel’s hands are in Dean’s hair and Dean’s back. Dean has a lot of to touch and to feel that Castiel isn’t sure where he can place his hands. Everything in Dean is perfect and warm that he can’t decide what he can feel and touch first.

Dean rubs softly his body against Castiel, who moans against Dean’s mouth. This is maddening; Castiel can’t believe he has waited this long to feel Dean this way. He can’t believe how every single feeling is so intense and great; he didn’t expect to feel anything like this. He moves the hand from Dean’s hair to Dean’s back, touring it from Dean’s shoulders to the small of his back, feeling the muscles and the skin.

Dean opens his mouth and he gets his tongue in Castiel’s mouth. Castiel leans into that kiss, arching his back so he can be even closer to Dean. That kiss is spirited and Castiel really likes how it feels and tastes Dean’s tongue; it sends pleasure to every small corner of his body. He moans slightly as they kiss and he nails Dean’s back.

When Dean moves his mouth away, Castiel is panting and with his eyes half-closed. He moves his hand back to Dean’s hair. “Kiss me like that again.” Castiel requests, pushing Dean’s head down.

Dean smirks and he complies. He kisses Castiel with tongue and Castiel starts to move his with Dean’s, something that surprises Dean; Cas is a fast learner. Dean sinks himself in the kiss, feeling how their tongues swirl together, how Castiel’s mouth and tongue tastes like, feeling how Castiel is grabbing him, as if he didn’t want him to let him go and Dean can’t reproach him; he is grabbing Castiel the same way.

“Do you kiss everyone like this?” Castiel asks into Dean’s mouth. That kiss was made or pleasurable fire and he is panting. He never expected that kissing and touching could be this exhausting but at the same time so pleasurable.

“Only you.” Dean smiles in a rogue way. He has kissed a lot of chicks and guys with his tongue, but he never kissed anyone in that passionate and spirited way.

Dean kisses Castiel again, with tongue at first and then, he starts to play with Castiel’s bottom lip; he presses it between his lips and he bites it softly and Castiel smiles with it. Then, Dean’s kisses start to go downer; he kisses Castiel’s chin, his jaw, his neck, skipping the black collar.

“Fuck, I hate that the collar doesn’t let me to kiss your neck properly.” Dean complains. He kisses Castiel’s neck again, where there is accessible skin. “I could make you great hickeys.”

“What are hickeys?” Castiel asks in a moan. Seriously, Dean’s mouth makes wonderful things to him.

Dean arches a brow and he places his mouth on Castiel’s, without kissing him; he knows that Castiel finds arousing that he whispers into his mouth. “It is a bruise that is left when someone starts to kiss and suck your neck.” Castiel’s eyes go wide with the explanation. “I can make you a few here if you want.” He touches the part of Castiel’s neck above the collar.

“Dean, you can’t do it.” He says breathy. Dean makes a confused frown. “If Jo sees it she will know that—”

“Fuck, you are right.” Dean says disappointed; he didn’t thought about it. He takes a deep breath. “Well, at least there are a lot of things we can still do.” He says with a goofy smile.

Cas smiles and Dean kisses him quickly before he keeps kissing Castiel’s body; now he is on his collarbone and Castiel inhales sharply. Every single touch or kiss from Dean makes Castiel to feel a warmth and an arousing feeling that he can’t control. This is really nice.

When Dean arrives to his left nipple and he starts to lick it, Castiel moans and he fists the sheets and bends his knees. He didn’t know he could feel such pleasure on his nipples. He instinctively rocks his hips as he feels Dean’s tongue licking his nipple. Dean places his hands on Castiel’s hipbones, trying to hold Cas in place softly. This is really good; too good. He can feel Dean’s satisfactory smile against his skin and Castiel smiles.

“Do you like this Cas?” Dean asks.

“I do.” Castiel says shaky.

Dean presses a few kisses on his nipple and then, he starts to run his hands down Castiel’s chest. Dean is kneeling in between Castiel’s legs, looking at the beauty of Castiel’s body. Fuck, he is even more gorgeous than he dreamt. Castiel looks at Dean and he starts to touch Dean’s strong arms, stroking them softly as Dean strokes his chest.

Dean wants to know what makes Castiel moan, what makes Castiel loose his mind, he wants to make him feel better than in his whole life. His hands are now on Castiel’s hipbones again and Castiel shakes slightly under Dean’s hands.

“You are so sensitive.” Dean murmurs as his hands start to move to Castiel’s thighs.

“I told you. I’ve never been touched like this.” Castiel whispers. He looks how Dean’s hands are traveling along his body. It is incredible to be touched in a sexual way without feeling any pain at all. Castiel never thought this could be possible, but it is. The way Dean touches him, delicately, gently, sweetly, passionate and slowly it is perfect. With those noticeable but gentle touches, it makes Castiel be in the edge of madness. He knows those hands can be hard, but not with Castiel.

Dean’s hands are now on the inner of Castiel’s thighs and Castiel moans. Dean looks at him; he loves how Castiel looks when he moans. He loves knowing that he is the reason behind those wonderful sounds; seeing Cas like this is new for Dean and he loves seeing Cas like that. He knows Cas hasn’t been like this with anyone; Dean is the first and the only one who has the privilege to see Castiel this way.

“Dean.” Castiel moans as Dean’s hands move in the inner of his thighs.

“You are freaking gorgeous, y’know?” Dean says as he leans down, just to press a sweet kiss in Castiel’s lips. He cups with one hand his face. Castiel moves his face to kiss Dean properly and he pushes Dean’s face down with his hand, the one that is in Dean’s hair, and Dean can’t help smiling in the kiss.

Dean’s other hand is going down as they kiss. Castiel shakes his hips, rubbing his hard erection against Dean’s, something that arouses Dean even more; Castiel’s kisses, touches and movements are really arousing. Dean keeps lowering his hand until it is on Castiel’s hard cock and he grabs it.

Castiel gasps and pulls away from the kiss. He looks at Dean in a rapt way, with lust in his eyes. His chest is burning and it is moving up and down really fast. Dean’s hand moves slowly along the shaft and Castiel moans.

“Is this okay?” Dean asks.

Castiel nods. “Don’t stop, please.” He says needy.

Castiel presses his head down on the pillow as Dean keeps caressing his cock. This is better than he expected. He must admit that masturbation was good, but Dean touching him is million times better than that. Castiel rocks his hips, fucking into Dean’s fist and Dean smiles; Castiel can feel it in his jaw, where Dean is kissing him.

Dean keeps moving his hand along Castiel’s hard cock, feeling his length, moving his hand a bit faster with every stroke and making different angles to make it more pleasurable. Castiel moans Dean’s name several times. He shakes his whole body, he tightens his grip in Dean’s hair, he rocks his hips and he pants. Dean loves his vision of Cas right now, with his lips parted and his eyes almost closed.

Now, Dean starts to touch the head of the cock and Castiel’s body shakes completely. Dean plays with his fingers on the head, pressing it softly or making circles on it and Castiel bites his lower lip and he arches his back. This is insane and he is about to lose his mind, but it feels marvelous. He loves how Dean’s hand is touching him like nobody ever has.

When Dean starts to move his hand along his cock again, Castiel speaks. “Dean, I have to—”

“Come, Cas, come for me.” Dean whispers into his mouth in a needy way.

Castiel orgasms, muffling Dean’s name in it and he comes. This feels better than usually, much better. He closes his eyes and he feels a huge warmth filling his whole body; he doesn’t know how he is still breathing, but he doesn’t care, because this is, in Dean’s words, fucking awesome. He has never felt this good ever.

Dean keeps stroking his cock until all the come is released, and Castiel bites his lower lip. He can’t describe how great he is feeling right now; he is speechless.

Dean cleans his hand in the sheets; tomorrow they will have to put them in the washing machine and put some clean ones. Then, he kisses Cas in a gentle and slow way and Castiel cups his face.

“How was it?” Dean asks when they aren’t kissing anymore.

Castiel smiles in a rouge way; Dean has never seen that smile before and he loves it. “Awesome.” He says panting.

Dean smiles and he throws himself to Castiel’s mouth. “I’m glad about it.”

“Can I touch you now?” Castiel asks.

Dean raises his eyebrows in surprise. “Yeah, but don’t you want to recover your breath first?”

Cas kisses him and he rolls both of them. Now Dean is the one lying down in the mattress and Castiel is above him. “I can sleep later. Now I want to touch you.” He is tired, to be honest, but he really needs to feel Dean to make him lose his mind just like Dean did with him. Sleep can wait.

Dean isn’t going to argue any of that, fuck, he is dying to feel Castiel’s hands on his body, so Dean just smirks in a goofy way and he places his hands on Castiel’s hair and he kisses him in a dirty way, twisting their tongues together.

Castiel has loved every single kiss Dean has given to him, from the sweetest and shortest ones to the dirtiest, but he must admit that when Dean kisses him with his tongue, Castiel feels really aroused and there’s a titillation in his limbs that is really nice and satisfying.

He starts to kiss Dean’s jaw; he loves how sharp it is, how marked it is. Dean gasps for air and he feels Castiel’s lips kissing his neck in a gentle way. He feels Castiel’s hands caressing his collarbone and Dean smiles. It feels awesome to feel Castiel’s hands and lips on his body. He has dreamt about this several times, but no one of them was as good as this one.

Castiel’s kisses keep going down. He is now on Dean’s chest and while he kisses it, he starts to make circles with his thumb on one of Dean’s nipples, then, he places his mouth in it, and he kisses it and licks it and Dean moans in a pleasure way. Castiel is the reason of that moan and it feels great to be the one giving pleasure to Dean, it feels so great.

He now starts to run his hands down Dean’s body, paying a lot of attention to all the freckles Dean has; his shoulders, his hips, his thighs… He has freckles everywhere and Castiel touches with his hands where they are and Dean moans, because Castiel’s hands are soft and gentle.

“You have freckles everywhere.” Castiel smiles. He leans to kiss Dean’s hips and Dean smiles in a hussy way. “Even here.” He touches where Dean’s brown golden curly hair starts to grow in his groin and Dean takes a needy breath. “And here.” He looks at Dean’s cock.

“Did you expect me to have freckles there?” Dean asks in a hussy way.

Castiel bites his lower lip and he looks at Dean. He blushes a little bit before he answers. “Yes.”

That answer makes Dean to smile happily and brightly and Castiel needs to kiss that beautiful smile and to feel it in a kiss. Then, he pulls away and Castiel’s hands keep touring Dean’s body. He likes how Dean’s skin feels like, how he can feel the muscles moving when Dean shakes. It is new and a bit strange to touch Dean like this, but Castiel loves it; it is addicting. He places his hands on Dean’s thighs, stroking the inner part of them and Dean moans again. Then, Castiel starts to press short kisses on them and Dean rocks his hips and moans. Castiel is surprising him in an awesome way.

When Castiel sees Dean’s face, he smiles against Dean’s tight and he presses another kiss. Then, his hands go up until they cup Dean’s face and he kisses him, pressing his tongue inside Dean’s, making him moan in the kiss. Dean’s mouth is warm and hot, it is salty and sweet and Castiel knows he will never get tired of kissing it.

He releases one of his hands and he searches for Dean’s hard cock. When he grabs it, Dean moans and he smiles in the kiss; then he places one of his hands in Castiel’s back and the other one in his hair; Dean has the need to touch Cas as much as he can.

Castiel moves his hand softly at first, feeling Dean’s long cock in his fist, trying to see and feel Dean’s reaction with every stroke Castiel makes. Dean moans and rocks his hips, craving for more. Castiel smiles and he kisses the skin behind Dean’s ear, something that makes Dean’s body shake.

“Fuck, Cas.” Dean moans.

He keeps moving his hand, making different angles, changing the speed and Dean starts to moan more and a bit louder. He starts to pant and he closes his eyes, biting his lower lip once in a while, until another moan comes out from his mouth. He rocks his hips, asking for more, because damn it, this feels so fucking great. And Castiel gives him what he needs, enjoying the fact that Dean is moaning his name. He is now touching the head of Dean’s cock, trying to make it as pleasurable as Dean did it to him and he successes; Dean moans and tightens his grip in Cas, closing his eyes and parting his lips even more.

Dean is losing his mind; Cas is making him lose his mind. He has been touched several times, but not like this, not with this warmth, with this passion, and honestly, it feels awesome and Dean arches his back, pressing his head against the pillow when Castiel’s hand moves faster along his cock.

“Cas, I need to come.” Dean says desperate.

Cas places his mouth in Dean’s ear, making him shiver in a warm way. “Then, come.”

And Dean comes and he makes an orgasm. His mind is almost in blank, there is only one thought filling it and it is Cas. He feels fucking great, he is rapt right now and he knows that even if he knew all the words from the dictionary, he won’t be able to explain how great he is feeling right now.

Castiel keeps stroking him, not as fast as before, until all Dean’s come is released. Dean smiles and then, he opens his eyes. He turns his face to see Castiel and he kisses him in a passionate way. Castiel moans lowly in the kiss; Dean is a great kisser. He knows he hasn’t kissed anyone except Dean, but he knows that Dean’s kisses are extraordinary.

“That was awesome.” Dean says with a happy smile.

Castiel smiles proudly and he cleans his hand in the sheets. “What I did, was it correct?” He says a bit awkwardly.

Dean can’t help laughing. “Yeah, fuck Cas, you did awesome.” He cups his face again and he kisses him. He can’t stop kissing him. He is now allowed to do it and he can’t stop. He doesn’t want to stop. And also Castiel is willing to kiss him too.

They look at each other in a tender way and they smile. They kiss in a clumsy way, squeezing their noses together, but they don’t mind, in fact they like it. They laugh softly when they stop kissing, and then, they kiss again. It has been so many moments before this night that they were willing to kiss, but they couldn’t that now that they can, it is almost impossible to stop.

“I have never felt this good.” Castiel says nuzzling Dean’s jaw. He embraces Dean with one of his arms, and he rests his hand on Dean’s shoulder, stroking it sweetly with his thumb.

“I know.” Dean kisses his temple and he embraces Castiel, pressing him a little bit more against his chest; he doesn’t want to loss any contact with Castiel’s body.

“Although I’m quite tired. Is this normal?”

“Yeah Cas, especially if you have never had any of this before.” He explains with a low but sweet voice. He strokes Castiel’s blade and Castiel purrs. Dean smiles fondly. “Did you really like it?”

Castiel nods and Dean turns his face to stare at his eyes directly. His eyes made of a blue sea are bright and happy and Dean loves it. He kisses Castiel again, feeling the swollen and still hot lips against his, also in the same conditions. Castiel smiles again when Dean’s lips are no longer on his, then, he snuggles his head behind Dean’s chin.

Dean looks at the alarm clock; it is a bit late. “We should better sleep.” Dean says with a grimace.

“I agree.” Castiel says in a sleepy voice.

Dean laughs. “You get sleepy after making out, huh?”

“I don’t know. We should check it out the next time.” He says with a smirk.

Dean laughs again. “Yeah.” He presses a kiss in Castiel’s hear. “I hate to tell you this, but I have to get up and switch off your lamp.”

Castiel raises his head to look at the lamp and he grunts. “Okay.” He moves his body and his arm away from Dean, who gets up and he moves fast to switch off the lamp. Castiel laughs; seeing Dean walking this fast all naked is funny.

“Enjoying the view?” Dean says when he is approaching the bed.

Castiel blushes and he bites his lip. “Actually I do.”

Dean smirks and he switches off his lamp. Then, he gets inside the bed and he covers both of them. Castiel gets back to the position he was before, lying aside, with part of his body above Dean’s and with his arm spread on Dean’s chest, resting his hand on Dean’s shoulder. Dean hugs tightly Castiel and he presses his cheek against Castiel’s face.

“Fuck, I don’t know how we couldn’t see we liked each other before.” Dean says closing his eyes. He likes the feeling of having Castiel in his arms, breathing calmly.

Castiel takes a deep breath. “We were blind and stupid.”

Dean laughs. “Yeah.” He sighs. “It feels awesome to be like this, right?”

Castiel smiles and Dean feels it in his skin. “Right.” He kisses Dean’s neck. “Goodnight Dean.” He says sleepy. He is exhausted but he feels really good.

“Goodnight Cas.” He kisses Castiel’s forehead.

Slumber comes easily to them and they stay in that stance the whole night; they don’t want to lose each other’s warmth and touch. As they are hugging, they feel safe, warm and happy. They couldn’t ask for more tonight.


	24. The Next Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I want to thank everyone who reads, who leaves kudos, comments, who bookmarks and who subscribes. Thank you so much.

Dean turns off angrily the alarm clock when it breaks the comfortable silence and it wakes them up. He really doesn’t want to get out of bed today. He was afraid of waking up and finding out that what happened with Cas last night was a dream, but it wasn’t. It happened and Dean is so happy about it. He tightens Castiel in his arms and Cas smiles as he nuzzles Dean’s jaw.

“Good morning.” Castiel says. He searches for Dean’s mouth and he kisses him in a sweet way.

“It’s only good because of you and your kisses.” Dean mumbles smiling.

Castiel smiles widely. He feels like Dean; he doesn’t really want to abandon the bed’s comfort, actually he doesn’t want to abandon Dean and his warmth and his naked body and his strong arms hugging him. “I wish we could stay in bed the whole day.” He wishes making an annoyed grimace. He stares at Dean, who is still fighting against the slumber. Castiel strokes his hair softly and Dean purrs.

“Yeah, me too…” He sighs. Then, he opens his eyes and he smiles at Cas; he never realized how handsome he looks when he has just woken up. Dean can’t help kissing him; Castiel’s lips were made to be kissed all the time. He kisses him passionately and sweetly and first, but then, he gets his tongue inside Castiel’s mouth and he swirls it with Castiel’s.

“If you keep kissing me like this I’m not going to be able to get out from bed ever.” Castiel complains. He presses a short kiss in Dean’s lips; they are addicting.

“That’s the point.” Dean steals another kiss.

“Dean.” He hates to be serious, but they can’t stay in bed all day, even if they want it more than anything.

“I know.” He sounds reluctantly. Dean takes a deep breath and he rubs his face. “Take a shower while I change the sheets.”

Castiel gets out of bed easily, although he hates how cold it feels the bedroom; Dean and the bed were too warm, but the bedroom is cold and he hates it. He hates having to get up and keep with their life of slavery, but they can’t do anything. He goes towards the wardrobe to pick some clean clothes while Dean is looking at him with attention.

“You look good naked.” Dean says from the bed. He is sitting on it, looking with lovely eyes at Castiel.

Castiel blushes. They have seen each other naked last night, they have touched, they have made out and yet, Castiel still blushes when Dean compliments him. “Shouldn’t you be removing the sheets?” Castiel says sassily.

“Yeah, but I have great views from here. Sheets can wait.” His smile is goofy and Castiel can’t help smiling in a shy way. Then he looks at Dean; he seems quite happy and handsome and Castiel loves seeing him like this. It seems like Dean doesn’t want to think about anything else except Cas for now. And Castiel understands him; he doesn’t want to think about anything else that isn’t Dean.

Once Castiel has picked his clothes, he leaves them in Dean’s bed and he approaches Dean. He kneels in the bed and he cups Dean’s face and he kisses him in a passionate way. Dean places his hands in Castiel’s waist as they kiss. Mornings like this are worth.

When they stop kissing, they look at each other; no one of them still believes that this is happening, that this is real. They smile and Dean steals a small kiss from Castiel’s lips.

“You should better go to the bathroom or we will never be able to stop.” Dean says.

Castiel smiles. “You are right.” He picks the clean clothes and the ones scattered on the floor from last night. “Should I put your clothes on the washing machine?” He asks showing them to Dean.

“Yeah. Thanks.” He says as he gets up from the bed. He sees how Castiel’s eyes go wide when he sees him and Dean smirks. He looks at him in a sassy way. “You can’t take your eyes off me Cas.”

“You do the same with me.” He sasses. Dean laughs loudly. Then he sighs in a happy way and he starts to remove the sheets. Castiel gets in the bathroom.

Dean feels really happy. He can’t remember when the last time he felt this happy was. He has always felt happy with Cas, but not like now. Now, he is fucking happy, he feels really fucking good. He can’t stop smiling. He will always be a fucking fool, he knows it. But right now, he is a fucking happy fool.

He keeps removing the sheets and he looks at the bathroom door. He bites his lower lip. He could get in the shower with Cas. It is really arousing and tempting. He doesn’t think it twice. He picks his clean clothes and then, he goes to the bathroom, with the sheets and the clean clothes in his hands. Castiel has been in the shower for a few minutes, so Dean knows that if Cas agrees to this, they can have some long minutes of fun.

Dean leaves the sheets in the washing machine and his clothes next to Castiel’s above the drier. Then, he walks towards the bath and he moves the curtain. Castiel turns his face when he hears the sound.

“Hey, Cas uhm—” Dean clears his throat. Looking at Cas naked and wet it is even sexier than he expected. “Can I get in the shower with you?” He finally asks, trying to focus on the words. Every time he looks at Cas naked, he finds it a bit difficult to speak.

Castiel smirks and he turns, facing Dean. “Come here.” He says enthusiastic.

Dean smiles happily and he gets inside the bath. He places himself above the falling water and he kisses Castiel. Fuck, kissing him is awesome. He runs his hands down Castiel’s arms, which are embracing his waist, feeling his muscles and his hot and wet skin. Yeah, this was a great idea.

“Couldn’t you just wait for your turn?” Castiel ask sassily.

Dean smiles and he kisses him again. “Knowing that you were here, all naked and wet and without me, well, it was tempting.” He kisses Castiel’s smile. “Y’know, I can leave if you want me to.”

“Don’t you dare.” He tightens his grip in Dean’s waist, pressing him against his body and he smiles.

Dean starts to bite softly Castiel’s earlobe and Castiel moans. How can be anything that Dean does so arousing? He places one of his hands in Dean’s hair, tightening it and he closes his eyes, feeling the pleasure. Dean knows it well where he has to kiss or touch Castiel to make him moan and lose his mind. Just one night and Dean knows almost perfectly Castiel’s body.

“Dean—” Castiel moans when Dean’s tongue is licking the skin behind his ear. He wants to ask him how Dean can make him feel all those things, but he can’t; he just wants to fall into the pleasure. Feeling Dean’s mouth and tongue in his skin, how Dean’s hands are holding him in place and how the hot water falls down, drenching their naked bodies.

Castiel was afraid at first, time before from what happened last night, about going beyond friendship with Dean, but now, he feels so comfortable and so natural that he can’t fully understand it. Maybe it is because he knows that Dean isn’t going to hurt him, because Dean hasn’t caused him any pain at all. Castiel didn’t expect it was going to be this easy to be naked in front of Dean to let him touch him and kiss him this way; he isn’t ready to sex yet, but this feels great and he doesn’t want Dean to stop.

Also, there’s the fact that he doesn’t have to hide any of this to Dean. Now he and Dean are allowed to kiss, to touch and to do whatever they were dying to do because both of them want this, and Castiel feels really good about being able to do all of this, and so is Dean.

“You are so easy to get hard.” Dean whispers into his ear.

Castiel didn’t realize he was hard. Everything is so painless and easy with Dean that Castiel is surprised in a good way by it. He smirks and he starts to suck Dean’s nipple. He wants Dean to get hard too, so he uses his mouth and his tongue, in a soft but arousing way, until he can feel Dean’s nipple hard in his mouth. He likes doing this, to touch Dean, not only with his hands, but also with his mouth and tongue; there are a lot of things he can do, a lot of things he never thought about before and he is willing to learn all of them with Dean.

“Cas—” Dean moans, tilting his head back.

“I want to get you hard.” Castiel says in a sexy voice that turns on Dean more than it should. Yeah, that voice should be illegal or something.

In a few seconds, Dean is hard too and he rocks his hips, feeling Castiel’s hard cock against his, something that Castiel loves. This is nuts, this desire, this craving, this feeling when Dean touches him or when Dean kisses him, sends Castiel to the border of madness. All of this is new to Castiel and he loves it. It is so easy to forget about the rest of the world when Dean is with him, it has always been easy, but now, that they have this, that they have gone beyond friendship it is easier. He should be scared of how everything Dean does makes him feel things he has never felt before, that everything touches the border of insanity, but he isn’t scared, damn it, he is freaking content with all of this. And the best thing is that Dean isn’t pushing him, he isn’t forcing him, he is going to Castiel’s rhythm, because he knows Castiel and he won’t do anything that hurts him and Castiel trusts him more than himself.

Dean kisses him in a sweet way and Castiel falls into that kiss. He rocks his hips unconsciously, rubbing his erection against Dean’s, and Dean smiles.

“You seem so comfortable with this.” Dean murmurs surprised against Castiel’s lips.

“Yes. It is odd.” Castiel confesses. “Is it wrong?”

“Not at all.” He makes an honest smile and he looks at Castiel’s eyes. He loves being able to see them this close. “I thought this was going to be harder for you.” Dean doesn’t know why he is bringing up this topic, usually he would stop talking and he would get down to business, but he really wants to know how Cas feels about all of this; after everything he has lived, Dean doesn’t want to push him and fuck him up. He really doesn’t want that. Also, the thing he has with Cas is different than anything Dean had before, so he wants to make sure that Cas is okay with all of this.

“I thought that too.” Castiel says. He kisses Dean again. “I don’t feel pain when I’m with you, Dean, and that makes me feel really comfortable and nice.” He looks at Dean’s freckles. He makes a reminder of trying to kiss every single one of them any other night that they make out, although he is sure that it will take him the whole night. But he is in love with those pretty freckles. “I mean, there are things that I’m not ready yet, I told you, but—” He takes a deep breath and he looks at Dean’s eyes. “I’m really comfortable with what we did last night and what we are about to do.”

Dean smiles happily. “I’m happy to hear that.” He kisses him in a lovely way. “Y’know, we could do this at the same time.” He suggests. Castiel makes a confused frown, narrowing his eyes and Dean laughs. He grabs his cock and Castiel’s and Cas makes a surprised moan. “Now place your hand here, like me.” Castiel does it. “Now let’s do it at the same time.

Dean moves his hand and Castiel starts to do it too. Their cocks are rubbing together as their hands move along their shafts and both of them start moaning. Castiel has to press his forehead against Dean and he has to half-close his eyes. There’s that warmth again filling their chest, that difficulty when it comes to breath. But they don’t stop, they keep moving their hands at the same time, at the same speed, rubbing their cocks together and moaning as they stroke both of them. The hot water is soaking them, heating them up more and more with the arousing feeling.

Dean steals a dirty kiss from Cas, a bit muffled from their moans, but they don’t care, it feels good anyways. Castiel presses his body against Dean’s and he closes his eyes, feeling how their hands move up and down and how their cocks are rubbing. Definitely, this is being the best shower in his whole life by far.

“Dean—” Castiel starts to say needy and panting. “I’m going to come.”

“Me too.” Dean announces and Castiel looks at him with desire. “Let’s come. Together. Please.” He sounds like begging.

“Yes, please.” He says desperate. Coming with Dean. It shouldn’t sound exciting, but it sounds for Castiel and he thinks this is insane, but it is great.

They come at the same time and their orgasms are a muffled sound of their names mixed with the falling water. Their hands keep moving, in a slow motion, until they feel all their come has been released. Dean pulls his hand and then Castiel does the same. They are panting. Dean embraces Castiel by his waist and Castiel places his hands in Dean’s hair and they meet in a kiss. This euphoria, this heartwarming feeling after coming is marvelous.

“Is it normal to feel this good after this?” Castiel whispers into Dean’s mouth. He can’t still open his eyes; he is still rapt by the heat of the moment.

Dean laughs. “I would be insulted if you didn’t felt good.”

Castiel laughs and he kisses Dean. Now he opens his eyes. “I ask too many questions, right?”

“That was another question.” Dean sasses. Castiel squeezes his nose and he punches Dean’s arm. “Hey!” He frowns at him but he smiles and Castiel smiles too. Dean kisses him shortly. “But it is normal that you ask me these things.”

“Do you feel good after this?” He caresses Dean’s wet hair tenderly. He really likes how it looks when it is wet.

“Of course I do.”

Castiel nods and he kisses Dean again. He should stop kissing Dean for some minutes, but it is impossible. Dean’s lips are too tempting.

“Why do you ask?” Dean asks puzzled.

“Curiosity.” This is too new for Castiel and he wants to know if Dean feels as good as he feels; he would hate to know that he is doing something that Dean doesn’t like. Castiel leans to give Dean a kiss with tongue and Dean leans into the kiss; fuck, Castiel has learnt too well how to kiss like that. “I think we should take a proper shower. In the right sense of the word”

Dean can’t help laughing. He agrees and he and Castiel take the shower. They wash their hairs and their bodies like always, feeling a bit strange to be doing this together, but they don’t mind it. Then, they get out of the shower and they start to dry with the towels.

“Why didn’t you tell me before?” Castiel asks. Dean raises his sight from his legs to meet Castiel’s eyes. “That you wanted to be with me?”

Dean sighs. “I thought you didn’t want me.” He simply answers. He doesn’t want to give more details; they are together now and that’s what matters. He looks for his boxers and he puts it on. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Castiel approaches the drier, where he left his clothes. “Same reason.” He picks his boxers.

“I was pretty obvious Cas.” He says raising his eyebrows in surprise. “There were times that I wanted to punch myself because I was almost telling you that I wanted to be with you.”

“Guess I’m bad with those things.” He says smiling in a guilty way. Dean laughs. Castiel puts on his boxers and he looks at Dean. “I was quite obvious too.” He sighs. “I think that we were confused and we were more focused on hiding the fact that we were wanting to be together that we couldn’t see that both of us wanted it.” He explains.

Dean shrugs “I guess.” He looks at Cas. “But what about when we kissed? C’mon you gotta tell me that I looked like I wanted to kiss you again.”

“I wanted to kiss you again too.” Cas says. “That’s why I pulled away so abruptly, because I knew that if I stayed too close to you I would kiss you again and I thought that you wouldn’t like it.”

Dean opens his mouth shocked. “Okay, we are fucking stupid.” He says pulling up his jeans. Castiel laughs. “We sleep in the same bed together several times, we kiss and no one of us thinks that the other one might be interested.”

Castiel smiles brightly as he pulls his trousers up too. “And also there was what happened a couple of mornings ago; when we woke up and both of us were hard.”

“Fuck, I was so fucking embarrassed, I thought I freaked the shit out of you.” Dean says rubbing his face; he looks really cute right now. “It was your first boner and you were so nervous and shocked—” He looks at Castiel, who is a bit blushed and biting his lip guiltily. “What?” Dean knows he is hiding something.

“It wasn’t the first time.” He confesses. Dean makes a surprised face. “Remember that time you woke up and I was already in the shower?” He says. Dean nods. “I dreamt about you kissing me and touching me and I woke up and I had an erection, so I sneaked to the bathroom to masturbate.”

“No.” He says unbelieving him. “You— really?” He opens his mouth widely in surprise. Cas masturbated because of him. He really wasn’t expecting that. “So you masturbated? Did you think about me in the shower?” He smirks.

“Of course. And the second time too.” He blushes a lot and he looks down a bit ashamed, something that makes Dean laugh happily.

Dean kisses Cas sweetly; Castiel doesn’t understand why, but he doesn’t complain. “Remember when I told you I had a cramp?” Dean says with a pout. Castiel nods. “I woke up with a boner because I dreamt about you making out with me. And a few more mornings. I lingered on bed a bit until you got in the bathroom so you didn’t see I was hard.” He confesses biting his lip. Castiel looks at him with an arched brow.

“That’s why you covered your crotch with your clothes, right?”

Dean blinks perplexed. “You did notice. Oh fuck.”

“Of course I noticed. Although I wasn’t thinking that you were covering your erection.” He says smiling. Dean smiles and he kisses Cas. Then he keeps putting on his clothes. “Did you think about me in the shower?” Castiel asks shyly.

Dean turns his face to see him; Cas is blushed and Dean loves that. “Oh yeah.”

All this time they were hiding and no one of them realized about the truth. Dean is right; they are fucking idiots.

Castiel takes a deep breath when he is all dressed up. “You know that once we get out of the bedroom we have to pretend nothing of this happened, do you?” He says sadly.

“I know.” Dean says looking down. “We have to hide it.” He stares at Castiel’s eyes. “Anyways, we have pretended for a long time that we weren’t interested in the other one, so we can pretend outside the bedroom, right?” He says with a strange voice.

Castiel nods. He approaches Dean and he kisses him again, this time in a tender way and cupping his face. He sighs when he pulls away and he gets out of the bedroom. “How didn’t you put clean sheets?” He says when he sees Dean’s bed only with the wrinkled quilt.

Dean gets out of the bathroom. “You were in the shower. I couldn’t think about anything else.” He complains.

Castiel has to laugh. “Let me help you with this.” He goes towards the wardrobe and he picks some clean sheets. With Dean’s help, they make it really fast.

When they are done, Dean is about to open the door, but Castiel stops him. “Wait.” Castiel says. He cups Dean’s face and he kisses him passionately and Dean loses his mind in that kiss. “Okay, I think I will hold until we are back in our bedroom with this.” He says opening the bedroom door and leaving Dean speechless.

Dean, when he comes back to earth, closes the door and follows Castiel. “You can’t do that to me and expect me to not do it to you.” Dean whispers.

“Well, if it is a comfort, I’m dying to do it again now.” Castiel says nervously.

“I thought you said you would hold until we were back in the bedroom.” He smirks in a sassy way.

“I was wrong.”

Dean laughs. “Fuck, today is gonna be really long for us.”

Knowing that they won’t be able to kiss, to touch or to speak freely until they are back in their bedroom after suppertime, it is going to be really hard. The waiting is going to kill them.

But they have to hold on. It can’t be helped. They are risking enough. Being in the bedroom gives them a lot of privacy, but it doesn’t mean that Jo will come to the bedroom one night, although the lock is there and she won’t be able to surprise them, but, nevertheless, it is risky.

When they arrive at the kitchen, they sit down in their spots, as far as possible from the other slaves. Castiel smiles at Dean in a pretty way and Dean winks him, making Castiel’s smile to get wider and to turn his cheeks in a light red. Dean has to fight the urge to lean on the table and kiss him. Fuck, he is dying to do that, but he can’t, there are too many eyes…

Suddenly, all the other slaves go quiet and Dean raises his sight while Castiel turns to see who is entering; Alastair walks toward his usual spot while all the eyes are focused on his face; his nose is broken, there are several wounds, but not so noticeable and his mouth is swollen.

“What happened to you?” Azazel asks in what it seems to be some kind of worried voice.

Dean isn’t looking at Alastair, but he is paying attention to what he is about to say. Alastair sighs in a frustrated way as he sits down. “I slipped and I hit myself against the bathtub.” He says casually.

Dean looks at Castiel, who has already turned his face to see him. No one of them says anything; all Castiel does is raise his eyebrows in surprise. Not only because of how bad Alastair looks, but also about the fact that he lied. Just like Dean told him last night. He doesn’t understand why and how, but he knows that Dean must have been very persuasive and threatened. Also, he doesn’t understand how the rest of slaves believe the bathtub accident; maybe they think that Alastair is hiding that Jo punished him or something. Anyway, as long as Alastair doesn’t tell the truth and it comes to Jo’s or Crowley’s ears, he is fine.

Breakfast goes as usually and Castiel and Dean go together outside the house; today isn’t too cold, so they take the long path instead taking the short one, the one that consists on walking through the hall, to end un in the garage and then Castiel’s path to the garden.

“You really hit him hard.” Castiel murmurs when they are outside.

“Yeah, he deserved it.” Dean says casually.

“How did you know he was going to lie?”

Dean looks at Castiel’s curious eyes. “I told him if he didn’t, he would suffer the consequences.”

Castiel inhales and he nods. “I still don’t trust him. Maybe he has lied in front of the other slaves, but if Jo asks him…”

“He will lie. Don’t worry.” He says sweetly, he touches Castiel’s shoulder. “Stop thinking about it. He will lie and I won’t get punished.” Castiel forces a tiny smile. Maybe Dean is right, but he doesn’t trust Alastair; after all, he is kind of Jo’s pet. Dean looks at everywhere. “Would it be too risky to…?” He suggests without ending the insinuation.

“To what?” He asks confused.

Dean smiles widely. “You are really terrible at hints, huh?” That makes Cas tilt his head and narrow his eyes. He enjoys when Cas is that confused. He can be really awkward sometimes and Dean loves that. “I was talking about kissing.” He whispers.

“Oh.” Yes, he is really terrible at hints. That must be the reason why he never noticed that Dean wanted him. Castiel bites his lower lip; he is dying to kiss Dean again, but they can’t risk like that, someone could appear, someone could be watching them through any window. “Dean, it’s better not to.” He starts to say sadly.

Dean sighs disappointed. “Yeah, I know.” He nods. He was hoping to kiss him, just once.

“We have the whole night, Dean.” Castiel says trying to cheer him up. Dean smiles. “But we can’t do anything like that when we are outside the bedroom. Someone could see us.”

“Yeah, you are right.” Dean nods. “Well, see you later.” He starts to walk towards the garage and Castiel watches him leave.

Definitely, Castiel would love to run after Dean and kiss him; but they can’t. He can wait, hasn’t he waited for having this with Dean for more than a month? What are just some hours? But the difference is that before last night, Castiel couldn’t kiss or touch Dean, so it was easier to put up with it, but now, he is allowed to do all of that and more, and knowing that he can’t do it because someone could see them and that would mean terrible consequences, like a hard punishment at least, it is hard.

Relationships between slaves are forbidden, but if they find out that he and Dean are together, two slaves from the same sex having a relationship… Castiel would rather not think about it. They can hide what they have. They must do it; the last thing they want is to get killed or tortured after getting all of this, all they have been waiting and wanting for so long.

Castiel shakes his head and he starts to work on the garden, with a happy smile on his face. This can be forbidden, but it feels great. He doesn’t understand how something like what he has with Dean can be forbidden and paid with death. Actually, he doesn’t understand anything that comes from the Brown Lands. Things would be easier if he and Dean weren’t in there.

When lunch time is about to arrive, Castiel goes to the garage, with his pretty smile drawn in his lips; he knows he is going to be smiling the whole day. He is happy, for the first time in his life, he is happy. Dean and he are together and although Castiel would call this love, although he isn’t sure and he doesn’t want to push things, he knows how Dean is about feelings and stuff like that, he likes this thing they have. It has been only just some hours since they showed that they were willing for this, but Castiel feels great and happy and he doesn’t want this to stop.

He finds Dean, working under the car, with his legs spread and Castiel can’t help looking at them. He can look at Dean without having to hide anything or to give any explanation, he can look. He loves those legs, how they felt when he touched them and how Dean moaned when Castiel’s hands were in his inner thighs… If he keeps thinking about that he is going to have an erection and this isn’t the best place for that.

“Hello Dean.” Castiel greets.

“Hey, Cas.” Dean says. Castiel can’t see him, but he knows he is smiling. “Hold on a second.”

“Take your time. I have nice views.”

Dean laughs. Castiel has always been so shy and awkward when it came to things like this, like for example, when Dean told him that he had a nice ass, but now, he is so comfortable and he even flirts. Dean is surprised by that, because it seems so easy to Cas to do all of that now; of course it is easy for Dean, but he expected that it would be more difficult to Cas; he is glad to know that he was wrong.

“I didn’t expect you to be this peek.” Dean says with a surprised voice.

“I’m not sure if this is wrong or not.” Castiel confesses a bit insecure.

“Cas, it’s not. Stop overthinking. If you like doing or saying something, just do it. If I don’t like it, I will tell you, don’t worry.” Dean says. He screws the chassis and he gets from under the car. He looks at Castiel; he can be so self-secure and so comfortable, but this is Castiel’s first relationship, fuck, this is Castiel’s first everything and he has a lot of doubts.

“I’m sorry Dean, it just that—”

“This is new to you and you don’t know what to do.” He finishes for him. Castiel nods. Dean goes to wash his oily hands in the tap.

Castiel approaches him. “I know what to do when it comes to kiss or to touch.” He starts to whisper. Dean looks at him with an arched brow. “But I don’t know what to do the rest of the time.”

“Nothing special Cas, the only difference from being friends to being—” He is not sure what word he can use. He sucks at these things. He looks at Castiel’s waiting face and Dean takes a deep breath. “Whatever we are—”

“Whatever we are?” He asks confused.

“I don’t know, Cas. Are we boyfriends, lovers, a couple?”

“Maybe we are all.”

Dean opens his eyes widely; he wasn’t expecting that answer. He smiles in a shy way. “Yeah, maybe we are all. I like that.” He confesses. There’s no need to tag this for now. He likes what he has with Cas, who the hell cares what this is about? Just like Cas said, they can be all. “Anyway, just giving it a name isn’t important, the important thing is that we like this and we feel good, right?” Castiel nods. “Well, what I was trying to tell you is that the main difference it’s that now, we kiss and we touch and that stuff. There aren’t rules or instructions on this, Cas.”

“Okay. I understand.” He says nodding and smiling shyly.

“Good.” He smiles too. He checks outside, looking for someone and then he takes a look at the door. Then, Dean cups Castiel’s face and he kisses him with passion. Castiel knows they shouldn’t be doing this in the garage, but Dean’s kisses are too distracting.

“Dean.” Castiel complains when Dean pulls away. He exhales sharply. “You can’t do that here.” He whispers looking at everywhere, hoping that nobody saw them.

“I can. I did.” He says smirking. Castiel glares him. “I shouldn’t, but I can.”

Castiel rolls his eyes and he places his hand in Dean’s chest, pulling him away. “Dean.” His voice is serious. “We are risking too much, you know it. Don’t be so reckless.” He whispers in a cautious voice. He looks again at the entrance and the door, making sure that nobody saw them. Then, his eyes met Dean’s. He knows that Dean hates hiding this, Castiel hates it too, but they have to hide it for the good of both.

Dean exhales sharply and he touches Castiel’s hand, the one on his chest and he caresses it. “I know, but—” He sighs.

“I know Dean, I feel the same.” He sighs. “Let’s have lunch, okay?” He says trying to sound casual.

Dean nods. Castiel hates when Dean’s hand isn’t stroking his. There is the ghost of Dean’s warmth in his hand, but it is not the same. He could be holding Dean’s hand right now if there wasn’t any danger on it. Castiel sighs and he tries to think about the kiss Dean gave him a few minutes ago. He is dying to kiss him again; Dean is like a drug, addicting and it makes you feel better. He is so hard to resist; once you kiss him or touch him you want more and more; but they can’t have that now, not until they are alone in their bedroom.

After having lunch, the afternoon goes like always, with Dean and Castiel working on their respective tasks, wishing that suppertime comes as soon as possible, that will not only mean time for eating, something that Dean loves, even if he has rabbit food, it will mean that they will be able to go to the bedroom and kiss and touch and whatever the hell happens.

Dean looks at the part of the garden he can see from the garage. He can’t see Cas, he doesn’t know in which part of the garden he is; the garden is huge and some of the hedges are really tall, so it is hard to see Cas from the garage unless he is in a ladder or in a visible part. Dean smiles. He has wished to be with Cas for more than a month and he didn’t think he will be having this with Cas. Fuck, this feels good, although it would feel better if they didn’t have to hide it as if it was a crime, though in the Brown Lands is considered a crime… Dean swears that everything in this shitty country makes no sense.

If Cas and he would have met in Sioux Falls, everything would have been easier. Even Dean thinks he would have nutted up and told Cas to go out with him. He imagines how nice it would be to wake up together in bed, without having to work because it is their day off, spending the whole morning in bed making out lazily. Yeah, that would be great. But they aren’t in Sioux Falls, they are in the Brown Lands in a town that Dean doesn’t even know its name, and they aren’t going to be out of that house ever.

Dean shakes his head. It isn’t time to think about it, he really doesn’t want to feel like crap; not when he has what he has wanted for so long with Cas. He knows this isn’t the most perfect life, but damn it, Cas makes things better, he makes this imprisonment not to be so hard, not to be too suffocating. But Dean can’t help thinking about how much better things would be if they weren’t in this fucking country. He has to put away all of that. He will think about it any other day.

Castiel arrives as his usual time, with his pretty smile; Dean has observed that today, his smile is brighter and happier, and well, Dean’s is it too. What a couple of sappy guys they are.

“Hello Dean.” Castiel greets.

“Heya Cas.” Dean smiles. He wants to fucking kiss him right now, but he can’t. Cas was right; he can’t kiss him in the garage, where anyone could see them. Nobody appears on the garage, but maybe Jo or Crowley can appear to tell him something and find them doing something that they shouldn’t. Jo and Crowley have come to the garage a couple of times, and that’s enough to take precautions.

Castiel makes a cute laugh when Dean turns to see him and Dean makes a confused face. Then, Cas approaches him and he removes something from Dean’s cheek. “Always with oil stains.” He sounds too fucking sweet. Why does he have to be so fucking adorable and hot at the same time?

“Yeah, well, I’m a mess.” He says casually. Castiel smiles. He takes Castiel’s hand and he cleans it with one cloth Dean had in the back pocket of his jeans. He knows Castiel is fighting against the urge of kissing him too. This is more difficult than they expected. There has been so much frustration before this happened and now that they can kiss, they can’t do it unless they are in their bedroom and it fucking sucks.

When Dean has cleaned Castiel’s hands he gives a sweet kiss to the back of Castiel’s hand, something that blushes Castiel a lot. He opens his mouth to say something, but Dean shuts him.

“Shut up. I only kissed your hand.” Dean whispers raising his eyebrows.

“You are unbelievable.” Castiel rolls his eyes.

“Yeah, but you like me anyway.” He smirks and Castiel can’t help smiling as he glares him. “C’mon, it’s suppertime Cas!” He exclaims enthusiastic.

Luckily, tonight’s dinner isn’t rabbit food; it is some baked potatoes with some roast. Dean’s eyes shine when he sees the food and Castiel smiles. He even laughs when Dean starts to put in his mouth as much food as he can. Castiel doesn’t know how he doesn’t choke; Dean must have an ability or something.

When they finish suppertime, they go faster than usually to their bedroom. Dean closes the door and he locks it, and when he turns over to face Castiel, he throws himself to Dean, smashing him against the door in a hurried way, and he kisses him in a needy and frustrated way and all Dean can do is place his hands in Castiel’s back and kiss him back.

“Couldn’t you wait just a couple of seconds? I think I nailed the handle in my back.” Dean says smirking and raising his eyebrows.

“Sorry Dean.” Castiel says moving Dean away from the door. “Did I hurt you?” He asks really worried and looking at Dean’s back.

Dean smiles in a tender way. “Nah, you didn’t.”

“Sorry I couldn’t wait more.” He bites his lower lip in a guilty way.

“Don’t worry. I couldn’t wait either.” He kisses him fiercely and Castiel moans against his mouth. He has been missing this the whole day. He runs his fingers through Dean’s hair, stirring it. Definitely this feels great.

When Dean pulls away, to breathe, he looks at Castiel’s eyes; Dean hasn’t seen them as happy as they are right now, they are even more beautiful than usually. Dean smiles and then he kisses Castiel again. This is fucking awesome, to kiss Castiel over and over again, feeling his lips, his mouth and his tongue and how Castiel touches him while they kiss.

They keep kissing for several minutes, until they go to the bathroom and then, they take off their clothes, except their t-shirt and their boxers and both of them get in Dean’s bed. It has been a long day and all they want to do right now is to sleep together. Castiel hugs tightly Dean and he can’t help laughing. They kiss and Dean hugs Castiel too.

It is hard to only be able to do all of this in their bedroom, to pretend that there’s nothing in between them while they are outside the bedroom. But both of them knew this from the beginning. But they will have to hold on; it doesn’t matter how hard it gets, because if someone discovers them, everything will end up, and no one wants any of that; there’s too much pain already in their lives. They have found a ray of happiness and they will keep it at any cost.


	25. City Lights

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm updating today because tomorrow I won't be home almost the whole day and I don't know if I'll have time to post the chapter, so I'm posting it today. Better be safe than sorry.
> 
> As always, thank you so much for reading, for the kudos, for the comments, for the boomarks and the subscriptions, thank you so much, it means a lot.

Some nights Dean and Castiel make out, other nights they don’t. They don’t care; if it happens, it happens, and if it doesn’t, they sleep together, holding each other and feeling their warmth. Any of that feels great and awesome and they really enjoy it. It doesn’t matter if they fall asleep after making out and naked or if they fall asleep with all their clothes on and hugging; any of that feels good.

The problem comes when they have to leave their bedroom and they have to pretend they aren’t together. But they manage to. It is a bit noticeable that they are smiling more than usually, but no one else seems to notice it. The difficult thing comes when one of them wants to kiss and they have to fight against that urge so hard. But they are doing it pretty well, better than they expected, although most of the times they would love to fuck off everything and kiss in the garden or in the garage, but they don’t want to risk.

Right now, they are having breakfast and Dean has managed to touch Castiel’s leg with his foot, softly and trying to be as discreet as possible. Castiel blushes and he glares Dean; he knows no one is going to look under the table, but Dean is too good at touching, even with his foot and Castiel knows that if Dean keeps doing that, he is going to make a moan at least.

“Stop it.” Castiel whispers shyly but with a bossy voice. Dean just smirks and pretends he is really interested in his breakfast. “Dean.” He mutters, but Dean is still being really focused on his breakfast, although Castiel can see a tiny smile drawn in Dean’s lips. He knows that Dean is a teaser and he will seize any occasion to play with Cas or touch him without no one else noticing. “If you keep doing that I’m going to moan.” He says trying to sound as calm and casual as possible, even if Dean’s foot makes it hard.

Dean rolls his eyes. “Fine.” He moves his foot away from Castiel’s tight. He would have loved to hear him moan his name again, but the kitchen isn’t the right place for it.

“I’m going to take my revenge for that.” He warms as he starts to eat his breakfast again.

Dean looks at him and he smiles. “Yeah? What are you gonna do?” He sounds really cocky and he knows that Castiel kind of likes it. Thankfully they speak low enough to not be heard at all and also the other slaves like to ignore them because he is so freaking obvious sometimes.

“You will see.” Castiel simply answers. When he looks at Dean, he has a wide happy smile.

“I’ll wait for it.” Both of them smile.

“Are you serious?!” Jo yells. All the slaves turn their faces or they just move their sight to the kitchen’s entry door. Jo isn’t there but her yelling can be heard. “You can’t take them with you!”

“Can’t I? Don’t you dare to say me what I can or what I can’t! I’m your father!” Crowley yells furious. The silence in the kitchen is immense; no one makes a sound. Everyone knows that if Jo and Crowley are arguing, it can’t be good. Even Dean knows it and this is the first time he hears father and daughter arguing. “If I’m not wrong, all the slaves in this house are as mine as yours! In fact I’m the one who has more right, because I signed the contracts!”

“Contracts?” Dean whispers.

“When you become a slave, in the slave’s market they assign you a number and they give a contract with your number on it and your master has to sign it to prove that you are his.” Castiel explains quickly.

They can hear Jo making a frustrated groan. “What’s your problem with me taking them?! Do you have any special plans to Castiel or Dean?!”

Castiel and Dean exchange shocked sights and all the slaves look at them, shocked too. No one was expecting that Jo and Crowley were talking about them.

“This isn’t good, right?” Dean says confused and shocked.

“It can be anything.” Castiel answers frowning.

Jo doesn’t answer, or if she does, she does it in a low voice, not yelling. The last thing they can hear is Crowley approaching the kitchen; everyone knows it because it isn’t the sound of heels. He appears and he looks at Castiel and at Dean.

“As soon as you finish your breakfast, I want you two in my office.” Crowley says quickly. Then, he just walks away.

Dean and Castiel look at each other, confused and shocked. Dean is the first one to break the silence. “Tell me what this is about.”

“I don’t know.” Castiel answers. He wishes he knew, but he knows nothing about this, and he hates that.

“Fuck.” Dean says as he sips his coffee. He has a bad feeling about this. For a moment he thinks that Crowley must have discovered them, but then, he realizes that he said something about taking them with him. He doesn’t like any of this.

They finish their breakfast and they go to Crowley’s office. Before they knock the door, Castiel and Dean look at each other and then, Castiel knocks the door.

“Come in.” Crowley says. Castiel opens the door and he and Dean get in the office. “Please, close it.” Dean closes the door. Then, he sees there are two suits and a pair of shiny black shoes in the fancy chairs that are in front of the desk, of course, Crowley is sitting in the chair behind it. “I’m taking you to Hayes—”

“Hayes?” Dean says confused. Castiel makes a warning look and Dean realizes he shouldn’t have opened his mouth and interrupted Crowley. “Sorry for interrupting you mister Crowley.” Dean apologizes. He can see how tense Castiel is.

“For your information it is a city.” He says glaring him and with a voice filled with anger and annoyance. “I’m going to need to carry two slaves with me; I’ve got important business to do and I need my guest to be comfortable.” He looks in an inspected way at Dean and Castiel. “Those suits are for you. Pack some clothes. We will be staying in Hayes for two days at least. I hope our visit won’t take more than three days. Once you have packed everything and you are wearing the suits, meet me at the garage. Am I understood?”

“Yes mister Crowley.” Castiel and Dean say unison.

Crowley nods and with a movement of his hand, he orders them to leave, so Castiel and Dean pick the suits and the shoes and they leave the office to get to their bedroom. It isn’t until they are in the bedroom that Dean speaks.

“Should this be good?” Dean says looking at Castiel, who sighs and makes a thoughtful grimace.

“It is the first time he does this.” Castiel comments. “It doesn’t have to be bad, but it doesn’t have to be good either.” He trusts Crowley as less as Dean does. The problem with Crowley it is that he can be showing something but he can be planning otherwise, he isn’t as predictable as Jo. He looks at Dean who is making an acid laugh. “Next time, be more careful.” Castiel starts to warm him. He sounds really serious. He approaches Dean. “Don’t interrupt him, you don’t know how he can react the next time.”

“I know. I should stew my fucking mouth.” He admits.

Castiel smiles and he kisses Dean sweetly. “I really like your mouth.”

Dean can’t help smiling and kissing Castiel fiercely, giving him a kiss with tongue. “Because of this, huh?” He smirks.

“That’s one of the reasons.” He admits with a hussy smile. Dean loves when Castiel smiles like that, well, he loves when Castiel smiles, it doesn’t have to be in a hussy way, all his smiles are freaking gorgeous. “We should pack and put the suits on.” He says with a pout, he would rather keep kissing him, but they don’t have much time.

“Yeah, we better.”

They start to pack; they don’t know what they should pack, Crowley didn’t explain them exactly what they are going to do, but they pack some clothes, underwear and socks along with their toothbrushes and the toothpaste; they suppose they will have shampoo and gel wherever they are going to stay.

After that, they start to put their suits on and Dean can’t help smiling at Castiel as he takes off his clothes. Every time Castiel did that when they weren’t together, Dean had to look away and focus on anything else, but now he can look as much as he wants.

Castiel catches Dean staring at him and he smiles. “You always stare at me when I’m taking my clothes off.” He says as he takes his jeans off and he folds them.

“Don’t you do the same when I’m undressing?” Dean asks sassily. Like always, he smirks; he always does that when he says things like that, Castiel has noticed it. Castiel now takes his t-shirt off and he throws it at Dean’s face. “Hey!” He says removing the t-shirt from his face and he sees Castiel is closer than before and he places his arms around Dean’s waist and he kisses him softly and all Dean can do is kiss him back and cup his face. He has discovered that Castiel really enjoys kissing; every time he can, he kisses Dean, it can be sweet or it can be dirty, Dean doesn’t mind, he loves all Castiel’s kisses.

It turned out that Castiel is sweeter than Dean expected, but also he is more passionate than Dean expected too. He has discovered that Cas can be the sweetest and cheesiest person on earth but he can also be the most spirited. He really likes all of that, he likes how unpredictable Castiel can be.

Dean smiles when Castiel pulls away from the kiss and Castiel smiles too. Dean doesn’t think any of them has been this happy before. The crazy thing is that usually, Dean would have gone for sex without thinking it for one second, but not with Cas, not only because he knows Castiel’s dark past, he wants to have all of this; yes, he would love to have sex with Cas, but Dean likes the make out sessions and the kisses and the touches, he loves just sleeping in the same bed with Cas and waking up with him and honestly, Dean has never wanted any of that before. Dean is sure that this is the first relationship, in the right sense of the word, he has had. And fuck, he isn’t scared of it, he would usually freak out, but not with Cas. Yes, he still has his fears of doing something that will fuck Cas up or that will hurt him, and Dean hasn’t managed to tell Castiel that he is in lo— He must not think about it. He has lost every single person he loved and he is afraid of saying it out loud and losing Cas. What they have now is fucking good and maybe Dean will be able to tell Castiel those three words someday.

Castiel kisses him again; this time is a tongue kiss and Dean can’t resist it. He runs his fingers desperately through Castiel’s hair and he opens his mouth wide, making more room for Castiel’s tongue. Dean makes a moan in his throat. He feels how Castiel’s fingers sneak under Dean’s t-shirt and they caress Dean’s hipbones. Castiel always needs to touch him and Dean understands it, the same happens to him, he needs to touch Castiel, to feel him in his hands, as if he was trying to make sure this isn’t a dream.

Dean bites softly Castiel’s bottom lip before the kiss is over and Castiel smiles. “I’m sorry to fuck the moment, but I don’t think we’ve got a lot of time for this.” Dean says pouting. He hates it, but Castiel isn’t going to be the only one reminding them that they can’t keep doing this all day.

“I know. Sorry.” Castiel says sadly. Sometimes he likes to let himself go.

“Don’t apologize.” Dean takes off his t-shirt and he folds it. “I hate when you apologize for things like that.” He goes towards the wardrobe and he saves his clothes and Castiel’s, the ones they have taken off. “We can’t help it Cas, we like each other and we try to kiss and touch whenever we have any occasion.” He takes a deep breath and he turns to see Castiel, who is paying a lot of attention to him. Dean knows Castiel sometimes messes himself up; this is his first relationship, he doesn’t know a lot of things and he doesn’t want to fuck things up. Dean gives him a short kiss, then, he smiles.

They start to put the suits on. Dean isn’t sure if he ever wore a suit before. He did it when Sam graduated. Sam was too happy with his diploma and Dean was too fucking happy too. He remembers how surprised Sam looked at him when he saw him with the suit. Sam is gone now and so is his smile. The only thing left are memories and they hurt like hell.

“Dean?” Castiel asks worried. He sees how devastated Dean looks. “What’s wrong?” He cups with one hand Dean’s face and Dean touches that hand.

“Memories. That’s all.” Dean sighs and he looks at Castiel’s eyes. He really doesn’t want to lose him like Sam. Castiel hugs him and Dean thanks him that.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He asks as he hugs tightly Dean. He hates seeing Dean like that.

“No. Not now.” He answers. He doesn’t even know if he will want to talk about it later. He takes a deep breath and he sinks in the comfort of Castiel’s arms. He always feels so cared when he is with Cas. “Thanks.” He says after a while and pulling away. He forces a tiny smile. This isn’t the moment to get nostalgic or sad. Crowley is waiting for them and they should hurry up.

They keep dressing and when it is time to tie the tie, Dean looks at it with a frown. He doesn’t remember how to tie it. He looks at Castiel, who ties his own tie perfectly and Dean makes a surprised gaze. Castiel looks at him with his confused eyes.

“You made a perfect tie knot.” Dean says surprised.

Castiel looks at his tie and then at Dean. “It’s not perfect.” He murmurs.

Dean rolls his eyes; always so perfectionist… “Can you tie mine?” He asks shyly.

Castiel smiles and he approaches Dean. “Nobody taught you how to tie it?”

“No.” He says looking with attention how Castiel works. “I think this is the second time I wear a tie. The first time Bobby was the one who make my tie knot.” He explains in a nostalgic way. He has to put away those thoughts.

“Done.” Castiel says when the tie looks perfect. Dean feels a bit weird with the collar in his neck and the tie. “It is strange to see you like this, all suited up.” He makes a cute smile.

“I look ridiculous.” He says with a disgusted grimace.

“Not at all.” He says serious. Dean looks at him shocked and narrowing his eyes. “You are really attractive with a suit.”

Dean looks at him incredulous. “You’re kidding, huh?”

Castiel shakes his head. “Why would I be kidding you?” He tilts his head. “It really suits you.” He makes an honest smile. Dean smiles and he grabs Castiel’s face and he kisses him, surprising Castiel, who makes a surprised face when Dean pulls away.

“You look gorgeous with a suit.” Dean simply says and he picks the bag with all their packed clothes. Castiel dedicates him a confused and happy smile. Sometimes Dean is unpredictable too.

They leave their bedroom and they go to the garage, where Crowley is already waiting for them and Jo is next to him; her eyes go wide when he sees Dean and Dean hates the way she is looking at him, as if she was thinking about kissing him and dragging him to her bedroom.

Crowley glares her. “Stop that look.” He says with a scary voice. Jo goes tense and she stops looking at Dean. “In the backseat.” He orders to Castiel and Dean and they obey, they sit in the backseat of the silver Mercedes Benz and they fasten the seatbelt.

Dean looks through the window, hearing the muffled voices or Crowley and Jo. They don’t say anything important, just take care of the house and see you soon basically. Dean looks at Castiel, who is looking down. “I suppose we won’t be able to talk during the journey.” Dean says sadly. Castiel nods. Dean sees there’s something strange with him, that face is telling him it. “Are you okay?”

Castiel blushes. “I don’t like the way she looked at you.” He answers a bit ashamed. Dean makes a surprised gaze. Castiel looks at him in a guilty way.

“I didn’t like it either. Thankfully, Crowley made her stop.” Dean leans his back in the seat and he turns his face to look better at Cas. “I guess that I must look fucking awesome in a suit.”

Castiel chuckles and he looks at Dean in a lovely way. He is an assbutt, but he always manages to make Castiel smile or laugh. The problem is not that Jo was looking at him, who wouldn’t look at Dean? He is gorgeous. The problem is that Jo wants Dean and the idea of Jo touching Dean, of hurting him, makes Castiel angry.

“I would kiss you right now if I could.” Castiel whispers as low as possible.

“I would too.” Dean makes a sad smile.

The front seat’s door is opened and Castiel and Dean shut up. Crowley gets in, fastens his seatbelt and he starts the car. Dean doesn’t know how long the journey will take, but he estimates it will last a couple of hours. A couple of hours in complete silence, unable to talk to Cas, watching the landscape. Frigging awesome…

As soon as the car leaves the estate, Crowley drives as fast as the speed limit lets him, if there is any speed limit, because Dean doesn’t see any road sign. It is really weird, but nothing in this country is normal, so he doesn’t care about it too much.

Dean is looking through the window, seeing how the landscape moves as fast as the car goes, making blurry views of everything. The road is surrounded by beautiful forests; Dean must admit that the flora from the Brown Lands is awesome; he has always recognized it. Now that it is autumn, the trees are painted in green, in yellow, in orange and in red. Some leaves have fallen, but not too many, so the picture it is magical, like from a fairy tale or something like that; although nothing in this country is like a fairy tale, it is more like a nightmare. Dean sighs.

After almost an hour of journey, Crowley decides to put some music. It is classic music, who the hell puts classic music while they are driving? Dean makes a confused frown when he hears the beginning of the track. He doesn’t know who this composer is, but his music is shocking. Dean would never drive with this kind of music. He turns his face after a few minutes to stare at Castiel, who is humming silently the melody, holy shit, he knows this track.

Castiel turns his face when he notices Dean is looking at him. He doesn’t stop humming and Dean is looking at him in a confused way, with one of his eyebrows raised. Castiel blushes a lot and he looks away, all ashamed and Dean can’t help smiling. Cas is a nerd. He is dating a nerd. Dean looks through the window again, smiling, while Castiel looks down. He always gets so blushed when somebody catches him humming or singing.

After some minutes, Dean discovers that the track belongs to an opera. Seriously? Who on earth plays a freaking opera in the car? Dean has some kind of terrified look that makes really hard for Castiel not to laugh at it. He is biting the inner of his cheeks to hold a laugh, although he has a tiny smile on his lips. Dean’s face right now is priceless. Castiel knows that Dean likes rock music and he knows classic music isn’t his type and he isn’t used to listen to classic music, especially in a journey. Castiel looks again at Dean, who stares him back, with a confused and terrified look on his eyes, but that sight turns only to confusion when he sees Castiel’s smile. Castiel turns his face to look through the window, trying to hide his smile while Dean is confused by this odd situation.

Almost another hour passes until they arrive to Hayes. Dean is exhausted of hearing that opera, that for the record, hasn’t ended yet and Dean is willing it to end up. He looks at the city; there are big buildings where they are driving through. There are a lot of cars too. Where the Harvelle’s mansion is, everything is so quiet, even in the town where Castiel and Dean go shopping when they are ordered to, so Dean finds unusual to see all these cars, all these buildings and all these people. The city is like a mix of European and American style, mixing modernity and classic. As if New York and Paris melted together.

Soon, they arrive to a hotel and Crowley drives to the parking lot, which is really fancy. He parks in a place where there is a sign with his name. He turns off the music, something that Dean thanks for the love of everything. It isn’t the first time he listens to an opera, but he swears he doesn’t want to hear this one ever again.

“Get out.” Crowley says. Dean and Castiel obey.

They get out of the car and it is a relief to finally be able to stretch their legs. Dean is used to long journeys, when he and Sam went to visit the Grand Canyon, they went on his Impala from Sioux Falls. But it is not the same when you have to be the passenger; Dean would rather be the driver than the passenger.

Crowley starts to walk and he and Castiel follow him. Castiel is the one who carries their luggage bag and he stands next to Dean. They get in an elevator that seems to be made of gold and it shines too fucking much. There is a lot of wealthy in this hotel. Too much.

When the elevator stops and its door is opened, they walk out of it, of course Crowley is the first one to leave it and Castiel and Dean have to follow him. They are in the hall. It has huge marble columns, crystal chandeliers, huge and expensive carpets and huge mirrors and paintings hanging on the walls. Dean thought that the Harvelle’s mansion was impressive; this hotel wins it.  
“Stay here.” Crowley says. Castiel and Dean stop where they are while Crowley goes to reception. They don’t talk until Crowley is far enough for them to talk.

“Holy shit.” Dean says. “This is impressive.” He says surprised.

“You have never seen a hotel like this, right?” Castiel wonders.

Dean shakes his head. “Maybe on TV, but not in reality.” He looks around at everywhere, surprised by the sizes and the wealth of everything. Dean knew about the wealthy in Dubai’s hotels, but he wasn’t expecting this wealth in the Brown Lands. “I guess this exists because of slavery, but holy fuck.”

“Everything this rich and this big and this impressive is because of slaves. Free labor.” He takes a deep breath. “Everything in Hayes is like this. It shows wealth almost everywhere.” He explains. He looks at where Crowley is; he is still waiting to be attended.

“Is this the capital?” Dean asks looking at Castiel, who shakes his head.

“The capital is Trenpal. In the east side of the country. We are on the west side. But Hayes is the second most important city of the Brown Lands. It is famous because of his impressive buildings and because here there are some of the most important businesses and the energy plants. Trenpal is important for politics. It has a lot of businesses too, but they are more focused on the Brown Lands. The businesses in Hayes are more focused on the rest of the world.”

Dean makes a surprised face with a pout. There are moments when he forgets about all the things Castiel knows. He knows that Cas is fucking intelligent, but he has a huge knowledge about almost everything and it keeps surprising Dean. “Wow, you are like an encyclopedia.”

Castiel laughs and he blushes. “That’s a nice compliment.”

Dean smiles and then he turns to see Crowley who is now being attended. “Are we going to stay in this hotel?” He asks confused. Castiel nods. “Seriously? We are slaves, isn’t this too good for us?”

Castiel chuckles. “Our bedrooms will be modest and small. Hotels like this have bedrooms for people with white collars and bedrooms for people with black collars. Because sometimes, people with white collars bring their slaves with them and they need somewhere to leave their slaves. A bedroom close to them where they can sleep and not get away.”

“People here are pretty scary at being meticulous.” That makes Castiel chuckle again. “So what, Crowley gets the key of our bedroom and it has any electronic system that avoids us to get out?”

“Yes. At least it was like that the last time I stayed in a hotel and I was twelve years old.” He sighs. “The world has changed a lot in sixteen years…” One of the disadvantages of being a slave is that you don’t have a lot of contact with the rest of the world, you can’t see how things change and sometimes it shocks when a slave is able to go to a big city and sees how different things are since the last time he was able to have any contact outside the house he is working in.

“Hey, don’t think about it.” Dean says sweetly. He looks at Crowley who is still talking to the receptionist. “Because you will get sad and I will hug you and probably kiss you.” He whispers. Castiel opens his eyes widely. “And I don’t think that will turn out great here.” Dean says nodding an opening his eyes widely. “And also I will probably dance in the middle of here too to make you smile.”

Castiel laughs with that. “You are an assbutt.”

“Yeah, but you are happy again.” He says with a proud smile. Castiel rolls his eyes.

Crowley comes back to them in a couple of minutes with two cards, a white and a black one. “Let’s go to your bedroom. You leave your luggage and we go to the restaurant to eat. Then, we will go to one of the lounges I have reserved. I’m waiting for an investor, so Dean you will be the one serving the drinks and the canapés and Castiel you will be the one who helps me with giving me the paperwork I request you. Am I understood?” Crowley explains. He talks with a slower speed, so it will be more difficult to Castiel and Dean to miss any detail.

“Yes mister Crowley.” Dean and Castiel say at the same time.

“Good. I hope no one of you screw up anything.” He looks at Dean especially. “Come on slaves.” He says going towards the elevator. Dean grunts and then he and Castiel start to walk. No one of them liked how Crowley said the word slave.

Their bedroom is in the last floor. Like Castiel said, the slave’s bedroom is a modest one; there are two beds, one wardrobe and a bathroom. It isn’t very different from their bedroom in the Harvelle’s house. The main difference is that there is a huge window, which length goes from the floor to the ceiling and it can be seen the whole city.

They leave their package in one of the beds and then, they go to the restaurant with Crowley. Of course there are two restaurants, one for the slaves and the other one for people with white collar. Also, the good food is for people for white collar, for slaves, today there is pasta, something that Dean adores.

Once they finish, Dean and Castiel go to the lounge Crowley booked and Crowley goes to the hall, waiting for the invertor. Dean prepares the glasses, the alcohol and the canapés, while Castiel opens Crowley’s briefcase and he starts to order all the work papers. Then, they stay still, waiting for Crowley. They look at each other several times, thinking about kissing, but they can’t do it; at any time, Crowley and his invertor will arrive and if they caught them…

Soon Crowley and his invertor arrive and they start to talk about Crowley’s business. Dean finds out he is the most important businessman in the energy world. They talk about boring things. Dean doesn’t pay any attention, he only has to pay attention to the glasses of whiskey and fill them when they are about to be empty. Castiel, otherwise, has to pay attention, because he has to show to the invertor any paperwork Crowley talks about.

The meeting last two hours and Dean’s feet are starting to hurt of being still most of the time. Tomorrow the invertor will visit the energy plant and Castiel and Dean will be there too as Crowley said.

They go to eat their dinner and then, they go to their bedroom. Crowley’s bedroom is next to Castiel’s and Dean’s, and he will open the door at eight o’clock, time to go and have breakfast and then they will go to the energy plant, so Castiel and Dean will have to wake up earlier than that in order to take a shower.

Once Crowley closes the door, Castiel grabs Dean’s face and he kisses him passionately and desperate and Dean kisses him back, cupping Castiel’s face. It has been so long since they last kissed. They kiss and touch as if they have been waiting for it for years. When they pull away, to take some air, they smile and they kiss again in a fiercely way.

“You are so hot with the suit.” Dean whispers into Castiel’s ear. Castiel tightens his grip in Dean’s hair as Dean’s mouth kisses the skin under his ear. Dean’s mouth should be forbidden or something.

“Dean—” Castiel moans. He feels Dean’s tongue tasting his salty skin and Castiel bites his lower lip. He can’t moan too loud; Crowley’s bedroom in next to theirs and he could hear them.

Dean’s hand starts to sneak inside Castiel’s pants, making its way to find Castiel’s boxers and he sneaks his hand as he kisses Castiel’s jaw. He is about to grab Castiel’s cock when Castiel pulls him away. Dean makes a confused sight.

“He could hear us, Dean.” Castiel says a bit scared. Dean rolls his eyes. “Dean, don’t act like that.” He whispers angrily. He approaches Dean and he holds his hands with his, tangling their fingers together. He stares at Dean’s eyes. “We can’t take this risk, Dean. His bedroom is right next to him, he could hear us moaning—”

“Then, moan lower.” Dean insists. Castiel glares him. “There is another bedroom next to our in the house.”

“But there are our bathroom and the next bedroom’s bathroom in between.” He hates having to explain this to Dean. Castiel is dying to be touched by Dean, to have his hand in his cock, to make him orgasm and come, he really wants it. But Crowley is in the next bedroom and Castiel knows they can be heard. He exhales sharply. “Dean, you know it. We can’t do it.”

“Okay.” Dean simply says and he pulls away. He turns around and he sits in his bed. He starts to take off his shoes.

Castiel takes a deep breath and he approaches Dean, who doesn’t look at him. “Are you mad at me?” He says with an innocent and hurt voice.

Dean raises his eyes to meet Castiel’s face. Fuck, he looks too hurt and Dean hates that. “I’m not mad at you Cas.” He starts to say. He holds Castiel’s hand and he caresses it with his thumb. Castiel’s hands are softer than Dean expected. He works on the garden and he cuts himself sometimes, he works with plants that can spoil his hands, but instead, they are pretty soft. “I hate having to hide this.” He explains whispering. “I’m mad at this country and all the people in here. But not at you. It’s impossible to be mad at you.” He smiles in a fond way and Castiel sits down next to him, still holding Dean’s hand.

Castiel rests his head on Dean’s shoulder and Dean kisses it. “I wish this could be easier Dean. But we have to hide this, if they discover us, or only if someone suspects—” He inhales in a desperate way. Dean’s grip on his hand is tight and warm and Castiel really likes it. He moves his head away from Dean’s shoulder and he looks at him. “I was wanting to make out with you Dean, I really want it, but—”

“He can hear us.” Dean finishes. Castiel nods. “We’ll wait until we are back in the house.” He kisses Castiel’s forehead and then, he keeps taking off his clothes. Castiel starts to do the same.

They take off their clothes, being really careful to not crease the suits. Tomorrow they will have to wear them again, so they need to keep the suits as perfect as possible. They left them in one of the beds, perfectly folded. Then, they search in the   
luggage for two t-shirts and they put it on.

Dean looks through the huge window and he sees the city lights of the night. He must admit that it looks pretty amazing. Also, if he raises his head, he can see the starry night and the waning moon, lightening up the dark sky with their colorful and shining lights of the city.

Castiel approaches him and he presses himself against Dean’s back, holding Dean by his waist and leaning his chin on Dean’s shoulder. Dean touches Castiel’s arms and he turns his face to give him a kiss on his forehead. Castiel smiles. “It is a beautiful night.”

“Yeah.” Dean says. “I hate this city, but I must admit that it looks pretty by night.” There is too much beauty on this country. It shouldn’t be like that; it is a horrible country, it shouldn’t look this beautiful.

Castiel kisses the skin above the black collar on Dean’s neck. “I guess that beauty hides the horrible things in this country.”

“It might.” He takes a deep breath and then he looks at Castiel. “Y’know, given that we can’t make out, we could spend part of the night looking at the city and the sky and talking.” He suggests. Castiel raises his eyebrows. “If you want to.”

Castiel’s answer is a kiss and a smile. “I will switch off the lights.”

As Castiel goes and switches off the lights, Dean sits down on the floor covered with a carpet. This bedroom is surprisingly warm and he likes it. Castiel joins him and Dean places his arm around Castiel’s shoulder, pulling him closer and Castiel rests his head on Dean’s shoulder, something that Dean has notices he likes to do, and he puts one of his arms behind Dean, placing his hand on Dean’s waist.

There is a moment of quiet silence. Both of them are looking at the starry night, seeing how the stars shine bright. Dean speaks after some minutes of silence. “How could you know the track that was being played on the car?”

Castiel makes a shy smile as he starts to touch the carpet with his fingers. “I knew it.”

“Dude, you were even humming it.” He says puzzled and Castiel laughs softly. “What the hell was that song?”

“It was _The Flying Dutchman_ by Wagner.” He simply answers. “It’s not my favorite composer.”

“I thought you liked classic music.”

“I do. But I’m not a huge fan of Wagner. He has really good compositions like _The Valkyries_ , but I don’t like too much his music, he tends to exacerbate his music too much.”

Dean looks at him frowning. “Exacerbate? You really use some weird words sometimes.”

Castiel laughs against Dean’s neck and Dean loves that; he loves feeling that smile against his skin, echoing softly through his whole body. “It’s not that weird.”

“Maybe for you.” He grunts and Castiel rolls his eyes. “I remember when we started to talk more often, the first week I arrived, you told me that you like classic music, like Beethoven, Mozart, Chopin, Bach, Verdi, Brahms and a lot of more, I don’t remember all their names.” He says a bit sad.

“Yes and Dvorak, Schumann, Mahler, Tchaikovsky, Liszt, Bizet, Schuber…” He names. There are more, but he isn’t going to name all of them. “Do you remember our first conversations?” He says looking at Dean’s eyes directly. Dean nods and Castiel can’t help a smile. He kisses him sweetly. He likes these small details about Dean, how he pays attention to the smallest details and how he remembers them.

This is really good. Just sitting on the floor with Dean, talking, or being in silence, or kissing him, as the nightlife leaks through the window, as they stare at the city with all its light and the stars, as if they were light bulbs stuck in the sky, feels really good. Castiel doesn’t think he has ever had a moment like this with anyone. When he was a kid, he liked to lie on his bed and watch the starts through his bedroom’s window. He never expected that he could find someone who enjoyed looking at the stars like him. He never expected to find someone like Dean and even less to meet someone to fall in love with.

Dean is now the one who leans his head ion Castiel’s shoulder and he starts to stroke softly Dean’s hair and Dean purrs. Castiel smiles with that. Dean closes his eyes for a moment, enjoying how Castiel touches him in that sweet way of his. Then he opens his eyes and keeps looking through the window.

“Sam and I used to go on the Impala, park in the middle of nowhere and watch the stars.” Dean says nostalgic. Castiel keeps running his fingers through his hair. Dean sighs; he doesn’t know why he brought the topic. Maybe because it was impossible not to do it.

“I would have loved to meet him.” Castiel says sweetly.

Dean smiles. “You would have liked him. And he would’ve liked you.” He moves his face and looks at Castiel. Fuck, he is always beautiful, with sunlight or with moonlight, it doesn’t matter, he is always gorgeous. Dean has to kiss him again, slowly and tenderly. They smile when the kiss is over and they keep looking through the window.

As they are sitting on the floor of that hotel room, they forget the rest of the world. It happens usually that when they are together, they don’t feel the black leather collar telling them that they are slaves; they feel partially free and they feel really happy. During moments like this, they forget what and where they are. And damn it, it feels too fucking good to throw off for a while that load that being a slave carries with. It only happens when they are together and all alone.

Most than an hour passes, Dean asks things about why there are parts of the city that don’t have lights and Castiel answers that those are the neighborhoods where slaves who work on the business live. Also, Castiel shows Dean the names and shapes of some of the constellations and Dean laughs a bit because some of them don’t look too much alike to their names and Castiel only rolls his eyes and ends up smiling. They kiss in between, they stroke their arms and they hold their hands. Until it is time to go to bed; Castiel puts the alarm clock to seven o’clock, they have an alarm clock in the bedroom, something that surprises Dean, and they get in one of the beds. They know that Crowley won’t open the room until eight o’clock, so they can sleep in the same bed, although Castiel is worried about Crowley opening the door in the middle of the night if something goes wrong, but he doesn’t think it will happen.

Dean tightens Castiel in his arms and Castiel presses himself as much as he can against Dean’s warm body; he is addicted to Dean’s warmth. He doesn’t think he will be able to sleep in a bed alone ever again. Sleeping with Dean is too heartwarming and nice and he really likes it. This comfort and this safe feeling that Dean gives him is extremely nice.

Like every single night, they whisper to each other a goodnight, followed by a small kiss, sometimes it is in their lips, sometimes it is in their foreheads or somewhere else, but there’s always a kiss, and then, slumber comes easily to them. Tomorrow will be another long day and they have to rest.


	26. Request

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is the chapter, on my usual day :) Thanks a lot for reading, for the kudos, the bookmarks, the comments and the subscriptions.

Dean hates that Castiel is taking a shower and he is in the bedroom, making the bed. He suggested taking a shower with Castiel, but he told him that Crowley could open the door at any time now and if he saw that they were together in the shower, well, Dean knows what could happen. He understands taking all these precautions, he understands it well, but he hates them. Dean wants to kiss and touch Castiel whenever they want to, without having to worry if they get caught or not. But Castiel is right, they can’t risk when Crowley is in the other bedroom and he can enter in their bedroom whenever he wants to. There isn’t a lock like in their bedroom at the Harvelle’s house, they don’t have that security, here they have to be very careful; they slept in the same bed and that was too much; Crowley would have entered and found them and— Dean really doesn’t want to think about it.

As Dean is making his bed, Crowley opens the door and Dean looks at him a bit shocked. Holy shit, does Cas have a sixth sense or what? Now Dean is thanking Castiel’s decision of not letting Dean to shower with him.

“Where’s Castiel?” Crowley asks. He isn’t as awake as usually, probably he needs some coffee to be ready and fully awake.

“Taking a shower.” Dean answers trying to sound casual. “Do you need anything, sir?” He knows Crowley likes when Dean is polite. Dean has to show that he is a good slave in front of Crowley; he hasn’t talked too much to him, but Dean knows that Crowley hides a demon inside and Dean doesn’t want to see it ever, so he just has to play his role and pretend to be a good slave. Jo is different, she wants what she wants and if she doesn’t get it, she punishes, but Crowley is different, he is more complicated, too unpredictable and too rigorous and Dean doesn’t know what’s exactly behind that fake smile of his.

“Just wanted to know if you were already awake. I don’t want any of us to be late.” He answers. He makes that serious and fake smile and he closes the door.

Dean opens the bathroom door and he sees Castiel is drying himself. Right now Dean would love to kiss and touch all that skin. To make Castiel moan and gasp and inhale desperately, saying Dean’s name as Dean touches or kisses him. He would love to be doing that right now. There’s too much to touch and kiss; Dean wants to memorize every single inch of Castiel’s body with his eyes, with his hands and with his lips.

After looking at Castiel’s naked body with wide eyes, he meets Castiel’s eyes and he sees he is glaring him with a mix of confusion and an expression that Dean knows it means ‘I told you not to get in here’.

“Crowley just appeared.” Dean says whispering. “Wanted to know if we were already awake.” He makes a frustrated grunt.

“I told you he could do that.” Castiel says as he keeps drying himself.

“Yeah. I just wanted to tell you.” He says looking again from top to bottom at Castiel’s body. Damn it, he worships that freaking body.

“Only for that?” He arches a brow, intensifying the sassiness. “Are you sure you didn’t come to peek?” He knows the way Dean is looking at him; after being with Dean for a week, he has learnt a lot of from the language his eyes speak. He could understand most of their language before they started to be together, but Dean tried to hide a lot of it then and now he doesn’t, so there are a lot of new looks and facial expressions that Castiel didn’t know.

Dean bites his lower lip and he looks at Castiel’s cock. He just wanted to let know Castiel about Crowley’s appearance, he didn’t at first wanted to see him naked, although he was dying to. Maybe that’s why he opened the bathroom’s door. It was an impulse behind a stupid reason. He knows he should be more careful; if he keeps having impulses like this, it could end up bad.

“I’ll let you finish before I throw myself at you.” Dean finally manages to say. Castiel smiles and then Dean gets out of the bathroom.

When Castiel finishes his shower, it’s Dean turn. He still wants Castiel in there with him, but it isn’t safe to take that risk; so he just showers and then, he gets out and he starts to get dressed. Castiel is already dressed and he is sitting on the bed, waiting. Dean notices how Castiel’s eyes are fixed on his body and Dean smirks and smiles in a hussy way. If there was a lock in the door, Dean knows Castiel would be right now grabbing Dean and kissing him desperately. That would be awesome.

“Need help with the tie?” Castiel asks when Dean is trying to figure out how to tie it. He is fully dressed, the only thing left is the tie.

“Yes, please.” Dean says frustrated. Castiel smiles in his sweet way and he stands up. He approaches Dean and he starts to make the Windsor knot. “Someday you should teach me how to do it.” Dean says looking at Castiel’s eyes; they are focused on the tie.  
“Anytime.” He smiles and Dean smiles too.

The door opens and Dean raises his head. It is Crowley again and he looks at them with an odd sight; Dean doesn’t know why, but he doesn’t like that sight. “What are you two doing?” Crowley asks.

Castiel doesn’t move his eyes from the tie and Dean doesn’t know how he can be this calmed. They aren’t doing anything that they shouldn’t be doing, but Dean has a dizzy feeling in his stomach. “I’m tying Dean’s tie, mister Crowley.” Castiel answers politely but casual.

“You know how to repair cars but not how to make a tie knot?” He says with a strange sarcasm looking directly at Dean.

“That’s right.” Dean answers. Castiel meets his eyes for a brief moment before he pulls away. Dan looks at his tie, all perfectly tied up. “Thanks Cas.” He makes a tiny smile.

“You are welcome.” He tries to sound as less warm as possible. Crowley knows they are good friends, but they can’t let him see any inkling of what they are now.

“Come on, let’s have breakfast.” Crowley says. They are about to get out when Crowley stops and he speaks again. “Bring your luggage. Once I finish the meeting and we have lunch, we go back to Felianth.”

Crowley waits for them in the hall while Dean and Castiel make sure they have everything in their luggage. While they do it, Dean turns his face. “Felianth?” He asks confused.

“That’s where we live.” Castiel answers.

Dean wrinkles his nose. “It sounds really posh.”

Castiel covers his mouth, avoiding a laugh, he doesn’t want Crowley to find out he is laughing, but his eyes are narrowed and Dean can picture Castiel’s laughter. He is too fucking handsome when he laughs. Dean would love to kiss him right now, but the door is opened and Crowley is in the hall, waiting for them. So Dean picks the luggage bag and Castiel follows him, biting the inner of his cheeks, hoping that his smile isn’t too noticeable or that he doesn’t laugh.

While Crowley has breakfast in the fancy restaurant, Castiel and Dean are in the part of the restaurant for slaves; Dean isn’t expecting an impressive breakfast, but when he sees that there is bacon, he almost starts to dance. Bacon. Awesome and wonderful bacon. He can’t remember when the last time he ate bacon was. He would kiss the strips of bacon right now, but Castiel is already looking at him in a confused and shocked way.

“Bacon, Cas. Bacon!” Dean says stressing every single word. Castiel nods, keeping his same look and then he rolls his eyes. When he looks again at Dean’s dish, he has a small mountain of bacon and all Castiel can do is open his eyes widely and he raises his eyebrows. Dean notices his sight and he blushes a little, but he smiles in an enthusiastic way. “I don’t know when I’m gonna eat bacon again.” He explains in a childish voice.

“You are right but you are going to have a heart attack if you eat a lot of bacon.” Castiel says worried.

Dean shakes his hand. “Nah.” Too bad they don’t have pie. If they had pie, Dean is sure that he would jump to the table and he would start dancing, and even singing some Led Zeppelin’s song.

Dean serves himself with his small mountain of bacon some pancakes, some scrambled eggs and a glass of milk. He is a huge fan of having important breakfast. In the Harvelle’s house there’s always the same, coffee, cereals with milk and toasts. Now he has bacon, pancakes, scrambled eggs and all the things that are also in the house, but Dean wants to eat as much as he can of what they don’t have in the Harvelle’s house.

Castiel serves himself the same things like Dean, but in a less quantity; he doesn’t want to have a stomach ache, although he serves himself more scramble eggs than Dean, he really likes scrambled eggs.

Dean’s faces when he eats the bacon are priceless and Castiel knows that Dean looks almost like he looks when he and Castiel are making out. Castiel smiles in a rogue way. “I think I’m going to take your bacon away because you are about to come.” Castiel whispers. He knows there are only a couple of slaves scattered in the other tables, but he doesn’t want anyone to hear them talk.

Dean, with his mouth all filled with food smiles in an adorkable way. He swallows the food before he talks. “Are you jealous or what?” He teases. Castiel rolls his eyes. “Holy shit, you are.” He laughs and Castiel kicks his ankle, making Dean to let out a small grunt.

“Assbutt.” He murmurs as he keeps eating his breakfast.

Dean sighs in a sad way and Castiel looks at him, frowning. “If we were in Sioux Falls, I’d probably make you breakfast and bring it you to bed.” There is a sweet shyness in his voice and Castiel really likes it. Dean’s eyes meet Castiel’s. “And we could have breakfast in bed and then make out and spend the whole day in bed together.” He adds with a small smile. Why is he speaking about this right now?

Castiel smiles in that way too. “That sounds perfect.” He takes a deep breath. He would love to do that with Dean. Waking up and finding that Dean is bringing breakfast and then they would sit on the bed and they start to eat, until they are done and they spend the rest of the morning or the day in bed, making out, kissing, or talking, or taking a small nap… It sounds wonderful. It sounds impossible.

“I managed to bring down the breakfast. Hurray…” He says regretful.

“Eat another piece of bacon and you will be back to moan.” Castiel sasses.

“If we weren’t where we are, I would probably moan as loud as possible.” He says cockily and licking his lips. Castiel arches a brow. “You’re cute when you’re a bit jealous.” He bites the strip or bacon and he starts to moan softly.

Castiel chuckles. And he stands up. Dean looks at him confused. Castiel ends up sitting next to him and Dean looks at him bewildered, but Castiel keeps a serious face and he grabs his dish to approach it to him. Dean keeps looking at him, waiting for an explanation, but Castiel is quiet and with a serious sight. Suddenly, Dean feels Castiel’s left hand touching his crotch. Dean opens his eyes widely and he looks at Castiel.

“Didn’t you want to moan?” Castiel teases looking at Dean with a proud smile drawn on his lips. He grabs Dean’s crotch and squeezes it softly and Dean inhales sharply.

“Okay, now you are being reckless.” Dean warns. He looks at everywhere, but no one is looking at them. He looks again at Castiel, who is eating casually while his other hand strokes Dean’s crotch. “This is your revenge for caressing you with my food yesterday?” He whispers. Damn it, Castiel’s hand on his crotch feels awesome and he is really aroused.

“Yeah. But also for moaning to a piece of bacon.” He snaps. He tightens his grip on Dean’s crotch and Dean covers his mouth to avoid a moan. This feels too good; Castiel’s hand tightens again and then he strokes Dean’s crotch and Dean is fighting hard against the need of moaning.

“Cas, I’m half hard, stop. If Crowley sees this…” He begs.

Castiel pulls his hand away and he moves his chair, being a bit away from Dean, just enough to not be suspicious. He looks at Dean; he has never been this blushed before. Castiel knows this isn’t the best place to do that, but Dean was teasing him and Castiel had to do something. He checked that no one was looking at them before he decided to sit next to Dean. He has to admit that it was exciting.

“Did you enjoy it?” Dean asks after a while, when his face isn’t too red and he isn’t half-hard anymore.

Castiel looks at him and he makes an honest smile. “Yes. I really enjoyed it.” He confesses blushing a little bit. “You?”

“Yeah. Although it would have been more enjoyable if we weren’t where we are.” He answers. Castiel makes a small satisfactory smile. “Cas, don’t get me wrong, that was arousing but—”

“It was risky. I know.” He interrupts. Dean nods. “I made sure that no one was looking at us. If it wasn’t like that, I wouldn’t have done it.” He explains. “Crowley takes his time to eat his breakfast. I know it.”

Dean makes a surprised grimace. “Wow.”

“What?”

“You are full of surprises.”

Castiel likes the compliment. “No more moaning with bacon or I will do that again.” He warns in a cocky voice.

“What if I want more of that?”

Castiel turns his face and he sees Dean’s goofy smile. “We’ve been reckless enough for today, Dean.”

“Why do you build me up, then?”

Castiel hates that he can’t keep touching Dean like that again. The way Dean looked, so nervous but so aroused, it was great and Castiel really liked the adrenalin and the heat of the moment. He would have jerked Dean off if he knew nobody was going to listen to them or look at them, but Castiel knows that sooner or later, someone would have seen them or hear them, and that would have been terrible.

“Sorry, Dean.” Castiel apologizes.

“Nah, it’s okay Cas. Today we’ll be back at the house, so maybe we can make out tonight.” Dean suggests and he raises his eyebrows. He is happy about that idea. And so is Cas.

“We must make out.” He whispers and Dean laughs, trying to be as quiet as possible, but he can’t. Castiel doesn’t care if anyone sees them right now, Dean is only laughing and Cas loves hearing him laugh this way.

After half an hour or so, Crowley appears. Castiel was right when he told Dean that Crowley takes his time to have breakfast. Dean and Castiel already finished some minutes ago, although Dean keep eating a few more bacon strips.

They go to the parking lot and they get in the car. The journey is short, just a few minutes, but they are in the outskirts of the city. Dean still finds it weird to be in a city, to be right now in the backseat of a car. He didn’t think he was going to have this experience again. He feels a cold and painful feeling inside of him; he doesn’t want to be institutionalized. He has to remember what his life was like before he became a slave, but it is so hard to have all of that again; it is almost impossible.

Dean shakes his head; it isn’t the time and the place to think about it. He tries to focus on anything else, or to leave his mind in blank, but it is hard. Right now he would love that Castiel could hug him and whisper to him comforting words, or hold his hand, or just run his fingers through his hair, like he always does when he wants to calm him. But nothing of that can happen in the backseat.

They arrive to the energy plant and they wait for the invertor. Once he is here, Crowley makes Dean drive a small car, one that looks like any of those cars you can find in a golf course, and Castiel sits in the front seat as well, holding a tray with some croutons and caviar that he offers to Crowley and the invertor as Dean drives through the energy plant.

Dean must admit that this is a bit odd. Too odd. He can find normal the visit with the car, but the croutons and caviar thing? Who does that? If they were in a meeting, it would be a normal thing, but while they are in a car and with Crowley explaining all the things about his energy plant? Cas has to turn once in a while to offer them the food. It is a waste of time; they could just grab the tray and eat from there. But Castiel doesn’t complain and neither does Dean, who is trying to enjoy the feeling of driving again, even if it is a vehicle like this one.

When the tour is over, Crowley and the invertor go to Crowley’s office and Castiel and Dean wait in the vehicle. When they are all alone, Castiel exhales sharply and rubs his face.

“Tired of turning over?” Dean says with a grimace.

“Damn it, they could have just taken the tray.” Castiel says pissed off. He looks at Dean and he caresses Dean’s hand softly, something that makes Dean smile.

“Why did he bring us? I saw a lot of slaves here.” He wonders. He grabs Cas’ hand and holds it, squeezing it. He needs to feel Cas as much as he can. Anyway; he loves all of them.

“He needed a kind of a butler slave.” He answers. “You didn’t see it, didn’t you?”

“See what?” He asks confused.

“The wounds in their arms.” He says devastated. As they were touring, Castiel could see a lot of slaves working; more of them had wounds in their arms. “Scars, bruises, but most of them were from cuts. From razors.” He explains. “And a few of them have their face swollen.”

“Son of a bitch.” Dean says turning his face. He didn’t pay a lot of attention to slaves because all his attention needed to be on where he was driving through.

“And look at that door.” Castiel points. There’s another door next to the one from the office. Dean can see that there are a few stains of blood where the handle is.

“The punishment room.” He simply says. He feels a shiver in his body. Castiel nods. Dean rubs his face and takes a deep breath. “I don’t want to see the atrocities he can do there.” He looks at Castiel. “Why does nobody do anything against their masters?” He whispers.

“And what can they do? Whatever they do, they can be punished. Most of them accept this. Once you have a black collar, it can’t be removed until your master takes it off.” He says frustrated. “The fear is so big that no one wants to try anything. They don’t have anything left, Dean. They don’t have a reason to fight anymore.” He looks down and he tightens Dean’s hand.

Dean takes a deep breath. He really doesn’t want to talk about any of this anymore. He is feeling sick. “I hope we get out of here as soon as possible.” He murmurs.

“It will take time.” Castiel looks at the office. “We will be at the house soon.”

Almost an hour passes and then, Crowley and the invertor get out of the office really happy and shaking their hands. Dean has to drive again to bring the four of them back to the gate. Once they are there, Crowley and the invertor dismiss and everyone takes their own path. They go towards the hotel to have lunch, in separate rooms, of course, and then, they go back to the car to take the journey back to the house.

“Can I take a nap during the journey, sir?” Dean asks. He feels weird having to ask to this, but if he falls asleep without Crowley’s permission, Dean isn’t sure if he would like it or not. And honestly, he doesn’t want to know the answer.

Crowley looks at him confused. “Do you snore?”

“No. I think.” He asks confused. If he snored, he wouldn’t be able to take a nap?

Crowley looks at Castiel. “He doesn’t snore.” Castiel says.

“Then, you can take a nap. You can too if you want to Castiel.” Crowley says.

The three of them get in the car and once Dean has fastened the seatbelt, he closes his eyes. He is a bit tired and he really doesn’t want to see the landscape again while that opera from Wagner plays. He wants to fall asleep for a while, forget about slavery and punishments and the Brown Lands and all that crap. It’s been a long time since he took a nap and he wants to have one. After a few minutes, he is sleeping soundly.

Dean wakes up when the car shakes because of a bump. He rubs his eyes and he looks through the window. They are really close to the house, he recognizes those woods. He looks at Castiel, who has fallen asleep too and he can’t help a smile. He needed a nap as well. It would have been better to take the nap together, hugging, but they can’t. There are a lot of things they want but they can’t have…

The car stops when they are in the house and Castiel opens his eyes and he sees that they have arrived. Then, he rubs his eyes and he looks at Dean, who has a tiny smile on his face and Castiel makes one too.

They get out of the car and the first thing that Crowley tells them is to take off the suits, leave them in his office and then, they have to work on their normal tasks, because suppertime won’t be until a couple of hours. Dean and Castiel obey. They take off their suits, they leave them in Crowley’s office and they go back to their usual works. They aren’t craving for it, but it will only be a couple of hours until suppertime, so they won’t work too much.

Like always, Castiel goes to the garage to tell Dean it is suppertime, so they go together to the kitchen and they have dinner like usually. When they finish, they go to their bedroom and once they close the door and lock it, Dean grabs Castiel’s jacket and he approaches his mouth to his and they kiss fiercely.

Castiel breathes needy against Dean’s mouth. “I was dying for this.” Castiel confesses in a shaky breath. His heart is beating fast, like it always does when Dean kisses him like this, as if Castiel was the oxygen his lungs need. He cups Dean’s face and he kisses him in the same needy and fiercely way, feeling Dean’s lips against his all hot and wet. It feels too good to finally kiss after a long day.

“How about we brush our teeth and we keep doing this on the bed?” Dean says with his usual sexy voice, the one that Castiel loves too much.

Castiel nods and he steals a small kiss, making Dean smile. They go to the bathroom and they brush their teeth. Lately, they have been doing it together; they like to stand next to each other, brushing their teeth. They like to look at each other with a smile or with a hussy sight to each other sometimes. Silly thing, but they like it.

Once Dean spits the blend of water and toothpaste, Castiel throws himself to Dean, he finished brushing his teeth before Dean, and he kisses him in a needy way, running his fingers through Dean’s short hair as Dean runs his hands down Castiel’s back. Castiel pulls away, but not really far. He grabs Dean’s shirt and he starts to walk backwards, leading them to Dean’s bed. Castiel bites his lower lip, because he is dying to do this, to feel Dean in that intimate way. It isn’t as intimate as sex, but Castiel finds it intimate. Dean steals a few kisses as they go towards the bed and then, Castiel pushes both of them down, being he the one lying down in the mattress and Dean lying above Cas.

Dean smirks and he kisses Castiel passionately. He loves kissing Castiel too much, that mouth is wonderful and he will never get enough of it. He loves its warmth, how salty and sweet it is at the same time, how it fits perfect with his own mouth; Dean loves that fucking mouth, those fucking lips and that fucking tongue too much.

The taste of the toothpaste is gone after a few kisses. Now their tongues meet and Castiel tightens his grip on Dean’s hair and his throat makes a moan. Dean looks at Castiel’s dilated pupils when they aren’t kissing. Castiel is breathing heavily and he cups Dean’s face to kiss him again, opening his mouth widely to press his tongue on Dean’s mouth; now Dean is the one moaning in his throat.

Soon Dean moves away and he takes off his boots and Castiel’s followed by their socks. He does it as fast as he can and Castiel bites his lip, looking at Dean. When Dean is about to move back to Castiel, he leans and he grabs Dean, meeting him in a fiercely kiss and they start to take off the jackets, the shirt and the t-shirt, only breaking the kiss when it is necessary.

Castiel’s hungry hands touch Dean’s back, feeling his warmth skin under his fingertips. Dean lays Castiel down and he starts to kiss Castiel’s chest before he pulls his jeans off, with a help of Castiel’s shaking legs. Castiel takes off Dean’s jeans too and he is feeling the arousal filling his whole body. Being the one who takes Dean’s clothes off makes him feel really excited. He likes how it feels to leave the skin uncovered and being able to feel it with his hands.

Dean cups Castiel’s face and gives him a dirty kiss that leaves Castiel gasping for air when it ends. They take off their underwear and soon, they are completely naked, skin to skin, feeling each other everywhere. Dean starts to kiss Castiel’s jaw; it has a little stubble and Dean really likes it. His hands go towards Castiel’s inner thighs and Castiel moans when he feels them stroking him. He is too sensitive down there.

“Dean—” Castiel starts to say. It is so hard to speak or to even think when he is like this with Dean. Everything is Dean’s kisses and touches. He can’t focus on anything else. “Can I—” He makes a moan when Dean starts to kiss the skin behind his ear. “Can I make you a request?” He manages to say in murmur.

“What do you want, Cas?” Dean says. One of his hands moves up to Castiel’s nipple and it starts to stroke it, making circles. “I will do whatever you want me to do, Cas.” He says in that sexy voice of his.

“I want a blowjob.” He pants.

Dean moves his mouth away from where it was and he places it in Castiel’s mouth; their lips are touching but they aren’t kissing. Dean looks with desire at Cas. “Do you want me to blow you?” He asks cockily against Castiel’s mouth. “Do you really want a blowjob?” He is so aroused with the idea, blow Cas, holy shit, it sounds awesome.

Castiel doesn’t know why it is so hard to speak when Dean is with his mouth almost on his. He is caressing Castiel’s hair and Castiel is panting and looking at Dean. “Yes.” He finally says. “I want to learn how to make a blowjob. I want you to make me a blowjob.” He sounds so needy and Dean loves it. He loves when Cas asks him for things.

Dean smirks and he kisses Castiel fiercely, then, he pulls away, and he whispers into Castiel’s mouth. “I’ll blow you then. Hope you find it educational.” His smirk gets bigger.

Dean starts to descend his kisses. He goes to the chin, then to the neck, he skips Castiel’s collar, he goes to his chest. While he does that, he rubs his hard erection against Castiel’s and Castiel moans. Dean’s mouth keeps going down; he is now kissing Castiel’s bellybutton and Cas smiles naughtily, he is a bit ticklish there, not as much as Dean, but he is it. Their eyes meet when Dean’s mouth pulls away. In Castiel’s eyes there’s anticipation and desire and in Dean’s, there are passion and willing. Dean puts his mouth on Castiel’s cock, swallowing it all at once and all Castiel can do is moan.

“Oh— oh— Dean—” Castiel moans. He wasn’t expecting such pleasure.

This is absolutely new to Castiel, feeling Dean’s mouth and tongue on his cock. He expected it was going to be pleasurable, but not this much. This is really good, extremely good. Castiel presses his head against the pillow, he arches his spine a lot and he curls his toes. He doesn’t know how, one of his hands ends up on Dean’s hair, tightening it in a hard but not painful way while his other hand is fisting the sheets. Also, he spreads his legs, making more room for Dean. This amount of pleasure is marvelous.

Dean has his hands on Castiel’s hips, keeping him in place. Castiel’s back is arching and his hips are rocking instinctively. Dean keeps sucking Castiel, feeling his long shaft in his mouth. He wasn’t expecting Castiel’s hand on his hair and he is so fucking happy that he placed it there. Dean swirls his tongue with every movement, feeling the skin on Castiel’s cock, all salty against his tongue. He really likes the taste and the feeling and he loves how Castiel is looking like as Dean keeps blowing him; he tries to stare at Cas as much as he can and Dean feels awesome to see how much Cas is enjoying this, how rapt he is.

Dean bobs his head faster and Castiel moans his name again. Dean licks and sucks Castiel’s cock with all his passion and desire, reaching everywhere, taking all Cas’ cock in his mouth, pushing it until almost his throat and Cas moans louder and his whole body shakes and Dean loves it. Now, Dean focuses on the head of Castiel’s cock, playing with his tongue and Cas moans again his name and he gasps in a needy way, as if there wasn’t enough air in the bedroom. Dean keeps sucking the head, licking it, tasting the precome and Castiel’s legs shake. This is too much and he loves it.

“Dean—” Castiel moans.

Castiel parts his lips, he isn’t sure if he is breathing or not. Right now, the only important thing is Dean’s mouth and tongue on his dick. It is too much, Castiel is crossing the line of madness, but he doesn’t want Dean to stop. He really doesn’t want that. He fucks into Dean’s mouth again and again and Dean keeps sucking his dick, taking all of it, making a few sounds against his throat while Castiel tightens his grip in Dean’s hair and moaning louder.

After a while, Dean starts bobbing his head from top to bottom faster. Castiel is feeling the urge to come. “Dean, I’m coming, I can’t hold on more.” Castiel warns.

Castiel comes and Dean’s mouth is filled with it. He is tasting Cas and he loves it, so he keeps blowing him as Castiel comes and loses his mind. Castiel is feeling really good, he is orgasming, with Dean’s name on his lips, feeling that overwhelming pleasure he always feels when he comes because of Dean. He can feel his blood pumping everywhere and how Dean keeps blowing him, making sure he doesn’t waste any of his come.

Castiel parts his lips even more and he closes his eyes. Dean is still blowing him, but now he is doing it slowly and his mouth is in the head of his cock. This is a wonderful feeling. He opens his eyes when Dean’s mouth isn’t on his cock anymore and they kiss fiercely, so Cas can feel the taste of himself in Dean’s mouth.

“That was the best lesson of my life.” Castiel says panting.

Dean laughs and he kisses him again. “Did you like it?”

Castiel nods and he smiles. “Oh yeah.” He touches with his fingers Dean’s lips. “You have an extraordinary mouth.”

“I do.” He smirks.

Castiel bites his lower lip. “You are such a conceited.” He kisses Dean desperately, opening his mouth widely so their tongues can meet. Dean’s mouth tastes different because of his come, but Castiel likes this taste.

Dean rolls over, so Castiel can catch his breath easier. “I’m glad you liked it.” He says happily. Castiel turns his face and he nods. “Next time I want to see what you’ve learnt from this.”

Castiel chuckles and he arches one eyebrow. “Are you giving me homework?”

“Yeah, it can be called homework.” Dean laughs. Castiel joins his laughter too.

Castiel looks at Dean’s cock; he is still hard. “I would make you a blowjob right now, but it has been a long day.” He explains. He places himself above Dean and he rests his hands on Castiel’s back. “Next time I’ll make you a blowjob, I promise.” He kisses Dean’s lips.

“Cas, if you are tired you don’t have to touch me.”

“Shut up.” He says giving him a dirty kiss. He isn’t going to let Dean sleep without coming after that wonderful blowjob he made to Castiel.

That’s one of the things Dean loves about Cas; he always wants to give. It doesn’t matter the moment, he always wants to give, he wants to reciprocate and Dean really likes it. He always does the same with Castiel, but Dean has never met someone that dedicated to him like Castiel.

Castiel starts to lick one of Dean’s nipples, he has a thing for them and he knows that they are really sensitive. He licks, kisses and sucks one of Dean’s nipples, until he feels it hard and then he goes to the other nipple. Dean is already moaning and he has his hands on Castiel’s back. He is starting to rock his hips as well.

They kiss again and Castiel’s hands start to trace down Dean’s sides and he squeezes Dean’s butt, something that makes Dean moan and smirk. He loves when Castiel is this playful with him. Then, those hands go to Dean’s thighs and he strokes them sweetly and Dean’s heart starts to beat faster. He is feeling anticipation and he is already pressing his head against the pillow; Castiel’s hands are soft and gentle and they give him too much pleasure with every single small touch.

As Cas keeps touching Dean’s thighs, he kisses the sharp line of Dean’s jaw and then, he bites Dean’s earlobe and Dean presses Castiel against him; Castiel makes a hussy smile with that. Then, one of his hands goes to Dean’s cock and he starts to jerk him off, like he wanted to do this morning while they were having breakfast in the hotel.

“Cas— Cas—” Dean moans and gaps.

Dean rocks his hips, fucking into Castiel’s fist. Castiel moves his hand from the head of Dean’s cock to the end of it, feeling its length in his hand, changing the angle as often as he can, making Dean to moan his name, to arch his back, to nail Castiel’s back. Castiel keeps stroking him, now he is squeezing the head of Dean’s cock and Dean swears and shakes his whole body. Castiel smirks and he kisses Dean’s mouth with his tongue for a while, until a moan comes out of Dean’s mouth.

Castiel loves seeing like this Dean, seeing that he is the responsible of this pleasure. He loves touching and kissing Dean, feeling his breath, his skin, his sweat, feeling Dean like he has never felt anyone before. It is extraordinary and Castiel can’t stop giving Dean all of this.

Dean comes and he makes an orgasm with Castiel’s name on it. He closes his eyes and feels how the rest of the world fades away; it is only Cas and him, Cas touching him, Cas kissing him, Cas making him feel this pleasure, fuck, this is fucking awesome. He exhales heavily, gasping for air as Castiel keeps stroking his cock until Dean is done coming.

They kiss again in a needy way when Castiel finishes stroking Dean and Dean wraps Castiel with his arms; he doesn’t want to lose the feeling of Castiel’s naked body touching his, spreading warmth everywhere they are skin to skin.

“Fuck.” Dean manages to say when his breathing is normal again. “I freaking adore your hands.”

Castiel laughs against Dean’s skin, fuck, Dean loves when he does that. “I know.” He kisses Dean sweetly. He pulls the sheets and the quilt up and he covers both of them. He likes how good they feel after this, although he hates that once the alarm clock rings the next morning, they will have to go back to reality and hide what they have and they won’t be able to have this after they get back to their bedroom again. But right now, he will enjoy the moment, as if the morning was far away.

Dean switches off the lamp and he kisses Castiel. “Goodnight and sweet dreams, Cas.”

“Goodnight to you too Dean.” He mumbles. He always feels too sleepy after making out with Dean.

Castiel dreams with Dean. He dreams with a home far away from the Brown Lands, a home with a big bed for the two of them, where they are naked and having breakfast. They laugh, they kiss, they touch and they are really happy. He knows it isn’t going to happen ever, but he enjoys the dream anyway.


	27. Light my Fire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, for the kudos, for the comments, the bookmarks and the subscriptions *-*

“Fuck it.” Dean says when the alarm clock wakes them up. He has been hearing that ring every single morning since he became a slave, nevertheless, it always surprises him, it is always too freaking early and it is really loud. He hates that alarm clock too much. He turns it off with a brief but hard coup and he tightens Castiel with his arms.

“Every morning you do the same.” Castiel mumbles. He presses a kiss on Dean’s temple, as if with that that he was going to wake him up better. Now he starts to stroke softly Dean’s hair, appearing a tiny smile in Dean’s lips. Last night they didn’t make out, so it would be easier for Dean to wake up; Castiel has observed that when they wake up being naked, they find it really difficult to get up. Castiel has trouble to get up when he and Dean are all naked and warm under the sheets, but sooner or later, he gets up, but Dean finds it almost impossible to leave their bed’s comfort and he always tries to keep Cas with him a little bit more.

“I hate waking up early.” He complains grunting. He nuzzles Castiel’s cheek. “Alarm clocks were invented by the devil.”

Castiel rolls his eyes. “You are so lazy.”

Dean opens his eyes in a slow motion; they aren’t used to the morning light yet. “I’m not lazy. I just like the bed’s comfort and the company.” There’s that cocky smirk he does and he approaches Castiel’s lips to his, giving him a proper good morning kiss.

“Are you trying to hold me back in bed with kisses?” He asks arching one eyebrow.

“Yeah.” He gives another kiss, a short but sweet one. “It is working by far.”

Castiel laughs softly and he kisses Dean. “We have to get up.”

Dean makes an annoyed sound as Castiel gets out of the bed, he walks towards the wardrobe. “Would it kill you to stay just five more minutes?” He asks a bit desperate. He really likes spending time with Cas in their bed.

Castiel turns his face to see Dean. “You know it won’t be five minutes, it will be fifteen at least.” He looks in the wardrobe for clothes. It seems that today is going to be cold, so he must pick some warm ones.

Dean takes a deep breath. Cas is right. Five minutes will pass really fast and it won’t be enough. “Y’know, maybe next time I’ll put the alarm clock at six o’clock and then, we’ll have one hour to linger in bed.”

“I don’t even think you will be able to wake up.” He laughs. “And I’m sure you will smash the clock against the wall if it rings at six o’clock.”

Dean makes an agreement pout. “Probably, yeah.” He looks at Castiel’s happy face and he really loves it. “Get your shower while I make the bed.” He says when he gets up.

Castiel stirs Dean’s hair before he gets in the bathroom and Dean smiles at him before Castiel steals another kiss from Dean, leaving him with a wide smile. He always tries to touch or to kiss Dean as much as he can before they have to leave the safety of the bedroom to pretend there’s nothing in between them in front of the rest of the individuals that live in the house.

Everything goes like always, Castiel’s turn in the bathroom, then Dean’s turn in the bathroom, a passionate kiss before leaving the bedroom, and breakfast. Nothing different; it is the same routine like always.

Dean, as he has breakfast, remembers the bacon and the pancakes he and Castiel had in the hotel two days ago. He wants bacon again. If he could make his own breakfast, he knows he would do a proper one, with pancakes, bacon, scrambled eggs, some fruit, coffee and toasts all covered with butter. And of course, a slice of cherry or apple or pecan pie.

Suddenly, the kitchen goes quiet, and Dean knows what it means; Crowley or Jo has appeared. It is more probably that it is Jo. When he looks at the door, Jo is there, looking at the table, searching for someone. Everyone sits always in their spot, but Jo appears once in a while, so she doesn’t seem to remember or have a slightly idea where everyone sits, or maybe she doesn’t care. She approaches the side of the table where Dean and Castiel sit, and Dean doesn’t like that.

“Dean, tonight you will be our waiter.” Jo says. Always with her bossy tune and with her powerful eyes, trying to show her attraction and her disgust for Dean. What a combination. “We will be having a guest and I want you to serve us. Understood?”

“Yes miss Harvelle.” Dean says. Jo leaves and soon the normal sound of talking returns to the kitchen. Dean looks at Cas, trying to know if what Jo said is a terrible thing or not too bad. “Is that normal?”

“Yes it is. Don’t be worried.” Castiel says calmed. “As long as you don’t do anything that they don’t like, you shouldn’t be worried about it.”

“So, serve them and not say a single word, right?”

“Right.” He nods.

“Why did she pick me?” Dean asks frowning in confusion.

“When someone arrives to have dinner, she chooses someone different each time.” He shrugs. “Dean, you’ll do fine, don’t worry.” His smile is as sweet as always and Dean smiles. Castiel leans his elbows on the table, leaning his thorax a little bit so he can approach Dean. “I’ll be waiting for you anxiously in the bedroom.” He whispers in that sexy voice that Dean thinks it should be illegal or something because it arouses him more than it should.

“A—awesome.” He says with difficulty. He loves when Cas is this flirt with him. Castiel smiles proudly because he left Dean speechless and made him blush a little. Castiel sits in the proper way and he keeps having breakfast. “I’m gonna hate the waiting.” Dean confesses.

“Me too. It’s going to take longer than usually.” He says a bit sad.

“But I guess it will be worth.” Dean teases with a goofy smile.

Castiel smiles in a cocky way and he looks at Dean with enthusiasm. “It will.”

Fuck, Dean really wants night to come already.

Nothing special happened during the rest of the day; everything was like always, working in the garage, having lunch, working in the garage again and finally suppertime; the same old routine as always. Dean was too used to this, and he doesn’t like it. Humans are animals of routine, he knows it, but he doesn’t like how he is getting too used to this routine as a slave. He would rather not think about it right now, but the thoughts are there. Maybe everything seems easier because of Cas; if he wasn’t for him, Dean knows he would be in a dangerous cliff, about to fall in a sea filled with pain, frustration, loneliness and insanity.

He can’t help feeling a bit nervous about the dinner he has to attend as a waiter, he did something similar back in Hayes, when that invertor and Crowley were meeting in the hotel, but Dean doesn’t trust Crowley or Jo, and if he screws up anything, for little that it might be, he will be punished, and honestly, he doesn’t want to be punished. It has been several weeks since he last got punished, because Jo wanted to have sex and Dean didn’t get hard, but Dean is too tired of being punished. He has been enjoying these weeks without any physical pain, well, enjoying is not the correct word for this place, but it is nice to have the chance of not being punished for this long period of time.

“Relax, you will do fine.” Castiel says. He can see Dean is a bit tense. Since they got together, Cas can see better in Dean’s face his emotions and his thoughts. There’s no need to hide anything in front of Cas, so he easily reads Dean’s face.

Dean makes a tiny smile. “I know, it’s just a dinner.” Dean starts to say. He puts another piece of the beef steak he is eating. “But nothing good happens if Jo is around.”

Castiel makes an agreement face. “You are right. But in front of Crowley, Jo is less impulsive.” He sighs. “If anything, your biggest problem will be Crowley; he is kind of a perfectionist when it comes to visits.”

Dean makes an agreement sound and he keeps eating. Also, there’s the mysterious guest. He isn’t sure how things work with guests in the Brown Lands, but Dean kind of believes that if they don’t like something the slave does and they tell to the masters, the slave will be punish. Knowing the Brown Lands, Dean is sure that in some places, the master gives to his guest a poll to know how good or bad is his opinion on everything the slave did.

Dean takes a deep breath before standing up. “Okay. Here I go.”

“Good luck.” Castiel whispers with a smile, half worried and half sweet. “I’ll be waiting for you.”

Dean smiles widely. If he could, he would lean and he would kiss Cas. Instead, he just nods and he walks away, going to the living room, where Jo, Crowley and the guest are.

Dean sees who the guest is. He can’t remember his name, but he knows it. He is the guy that brought him to this house, the one who saw him in the slave’s market and thought he was what his client was looking for. Crowley and Jo are sitting in the same couch, while the black man is sitting in the other one, close to Crowley. All of them are smiling as Crowley talks, but Dean knows those smiles are fake. He hears Crowley calling the black man Gordon. That’s his name. Gordon.

He knocks the door to get their attention, because he doesn’t know what he is supposed to do. He has to serve dinner, but they aren’t eating yet. Dean gets his attention. Gordon looks at him with a disgusted smile, but it isn’t as marked as when he brought it, but his eyes are still filled with rage.

“Dean.” Crowley says. “Are you our waiter tonight?”

“Yes sir.” Dean says dryly but politely.

“Good.” He says happily, as if he was glad that Dean was the waiter. Dean tries to hide his surprised face. “Set the table, prepare some whiskey, find my Ella Fitzgerald record and play it on the record player. Then, calls us when everything is ready.” He orders.

Dean nods and he does all of that. He sets the table, trying to find where all the things are. The dining room is huge and there are a few hutches and he doesn’t know where the hell the tablecloth is. He finally finds it, after looking in almost everywhere. Thanks to that, he now knows where the cutlery is. Dean hurries up and tries to ensure there isn’t any wrinkle on the tablecloth and then, he starts to set the rest of the table, cutlery, although he doesn’t know the right order, he places the forks, the spoons and the knifes wherever he thinks they should be, and then, he picks the proper glasses for whiskey. He will have to pick the dishes with food from the kitchen, he guesses. Nobody told him anything, so if something is missing, they will let him know.

He finds the record Crowley told him. It is the greatest hits from Ella Fitzgerald. Dean hasn’t listened to a lot of songs from her, but he knows it will be much better than that music torture he had to go through while he was in the car. Wagner is a great composer, he isn’t going to deny that, but that opera was like hell, seriously.

Dean puts the volume a bit low, but audible enough; he suspects that they will chat during dinner, so they will like to be able to hear each other but at the same time, they will like to overhear the music.

As Crowley ordered, Dean goes to the living room to tell them that everything is ready. He doesn’t have to say anything; everybody knows why he is there, so the three of them stand up and walk towards the dining room. Crowley and Jo look at everything briefly and then, Jo smiles impressed, but keeping her creepiness. Dean is sure that she was expecting him to screw up. Honestly, Dean was expecting it too.

“Good job, Dean.” Crowley says impressed too. “Whiskey, please.” He orders as he sits.

Dean picks a glass bottle of whiskey and when he removes the tap, a strong smell overwhelms his noise. That whiskey might cost thousands of dollars. It smells better than any whiskey Dean has drunk. But he wasn’t expecting less, this family is fucking rich; they don’t drink the first whiskey you can find at a liquor store, they drink the finest one.

“I must admit he seems to be milder.” Gordon says. Dean glares at him before serving Crowley the whiskey. Gordon smiles at him, happy to know that Dean is pissed off by the comment. If Dean could, he would smash the glass against his stupid face, but if he does that, he knows what it is going to be next; punishment. So he just glares him and swears in his mind.

“A good punishment always works.” Jo says proudly and smirking at Dean. Another one that he would totally smash with the glass. And he knows that he will like to do that to Crowley soon.

Crowley doesn’t say anything; he just simply nods and drinks his whiskey, enjoying the taste. Dean, meanwhile, serves the whiskey to the remaining people. After that, he goes to the kitchen, where there are already three dishes prepared. There is a woman he knows from seeing in the other extreme of the table; he doesn’t know her name, but he knows that she is the one who usually cooks for everyone, slaves and Jo and Crowley.

Dean picks two dishes, he would pick the other one, but he doesn’t want to have any kind of accident and break a plate and screw up the food. He would rather walk more than try to bring three dishes to the table at the same time.

Once he has brought the three dishes with that fancy salad, with canons, chicory, oak leaves, raisins, pinions and balsamic vinegar, Dean stands in a corner of the dining room, with his hands behind his back, waiting until they finish, where he can see perfectly everyone’s plates.

They start to talk a bit about everything, nothing that interests Dean; it is mostly about Crowley’s business. While they talk, Dean observes that Jo is wearing a new white collar. The one she is wearing is thinner than the one she usually wears. Now that he sees it, he realizes that Jo has been wearing several different collars; most of them are the same, but she has a few with some dots pattern. He didn’t realized there was allowed to have more than a collar. He supposes that she will change her collar depending on what she is wearing.

It is strange how there are a lot of thing he hasn’t realized yet. He has been living in this house since midsummer and there are still a lot of things that he doesn’t know. It might be because most of the time, Dean tries to ignore everything; he only focuses on Cas, because he is the most important person and the rest of the people living in this house is the worst.

After a long time, more than it normally takes to a normal person to eat a freaking salad, Dean removes the empty dishes and he goes to the kitchen, where another three dishes with food on it are prepared. Dean leaves the unclean ones in the washing pile and he brings the ones with food to the table; first two, then the remaining one. It is a fancy dish that anyone who didn’t know it was prepared in this house, would say that it belongs to one of those too freaking expensive restaurants. In the bottom there are mashed vegetables, some slices of potatoes with a sauce and a beef of steak, much better than the one Dean had for suppertime.

It goes like before, the three of the white collars eating and chatting, while Dean stands in the dining room, hoping all of this will end up as soon as possible because he is dying to go to the bedroom and be with Cas. And hearing the song Let’s fall in love by Ella Fitzgerald doesn’t help. It makes Dean want to get out of the dining room and run towards their bedroom and kiss Cas. But he has to wait until he is ordered to leave. Time never seemed to go as slow as tonight.

After a long time, that for Dean seemed an eternity, the dishes are empty, so he picks them up and goes to the kitchen, to find the dessert; hazelnut cake with a tiny vanilla pot on its top. Dean’s mouth starts to water; he is a fan of pie, not cake, but damn it, that cake looks freaking delicious and it smells too good. It has been a long time since he ate something as sweet as this. It is hard to resist the temptation, but Dean swallows and tries to ignore the wonderful smell and aspect of that cake. Cas was punished because Jo thought he stole an apple, if Dean bit that cake, for small that bite could be, he would be punished. It is too obvious to have a tiny bite in any of those pieces.

He serves the cakes and he goes to the place he has been standing since dinner began as fast as he can, hoping that the smell doesn’t reach his nose from there, although he can still see the cakes. Damn it, he wants a small piece of it. He bites the inner of his cheeks and he clenches his fists, trying to think about anything else, but if he doesn’t think about the cake, he thinks about Cas and how much he wants to see him and it doesn’t help either.

Dean is trying to think about anything that isn’t Cas or the cake, ignoring the conversations Crowley, Jo and Gordon are having, but suddenly, Jo’s voice raises; she is yelling at Crowley and Dean can’t help paying attention to the argument.

“It was just for a couple of days!” Jo complains yelling. She is furious.

“I don’t care if it was for just a couple of days!” Crowley yells too, although his tune isn’t as childish as his daughter’s. “If you wanted to lend Castiel to Lilith you should have made her sign a contract!”

Jo rolls her eyes. “Always with the contacts…” She drinks whiskey again and Dean has to serve her another, but when he is approaching her, Crowley looks at Dean.

“My daughter has drunk enough, Dean.” He says drily. Dean stops.

“I have the right to drink as much as I want to.” She reproaches. She turns her face to see Dean and she raises her empty glass. “Fill it.”

Dean looks at Crowley who shakes his head. “Dean won’t fill your glass.” He moves his head and Dean knows it means that he has to walk back.

Jo now glares at her father and she grunts. “Father—”

“Shut up.” His voice is as cold as ice and Jo knows his father is really pissed off. “I’m angry for lending a slave without a contract because she was your friend.” He turns his face to Gordon, who is with a poker face. “Gordon, tell me, is it true that when you lend a slave to someone, you have to make that person sign a contract that states that you are lending that slave and it also states for how long?”

“It is true.” Gordon says nodding.

“And what happens if you don’t do it and someone finds what you did?”

“You have to go to the court and there, they will decide if you will be fined, be punished physically or become a slave for a short period of time” He explains. Dean frowns confused at the explanation. He expected a fine, but not the punishment or becoming a slave for a small period of time.

Crowley looks back at her daughter. “We are one of the most powerful families in this country and you act like you were a peasant. You don’t think your acts.” He sends every word to her daughter with poison in his voice. Jo is flushed with anger. “You should control your behavior.” He grunts and he drinks his whiskey. “Go to your room. Dinner’s over for you.”

Jo is about to say something, but her father’s cold and painful glare makes her shut up. She stands up, angrily and she leaves the dining room. Definitely, Dean wasn’t expecting any of this. He didn’t know that Jo and Crowley could be like two bombs about to detonate when they were together. But Dean only saw them together two times; when he had to go to Crowley’s office to tell him what he was good about and when Crowley took Cas and he to Hayes. The rest of the time, Dean was working on the garage, so he never saw Crowley or Jo unless one of them appeared on the garage, that sometimes it happened, but that’s all.

“Collect all of this and then, you can go to your bedroom.” Crowley says standing up. Gordon does the same.

Dean collects everything, leaving the cutlery in the kitchen and folding the tablecloth and saving it in its place. He stops the record and he puts it back where it belonged. Before he leaves, he looks at the dining room, looking for something he missed up, but everything seems to be where it has to be. So Dean switches off the lights and he goes to the bedroom. It is a bit late, maybe Cas is already sleeping, if it is like that, Dean won’t wake him up; he will just get in bed with him and hug him.

When he opens the door, he finds Cas is still awake, reading a book, rereading it in fact; they finished reading all the books they found a couple of weeks ago. He is with his t-shirt and his underwear, sitting on the bed and Dean really likes how he looks; so natural, so homely, as if he was in their own house, being free. Dean would love to have this image forever, just Cas, living a free life with him.

“Hey.” Cas says with a smile. He puts the book away, leaving it on the bedside table.

“Hey.” Dean greets. He closes the door and he locks the door. He doesn’t want anyone to interrupt them. This is the only happiness they have, and Dean doesn’t want anyone to take it away ever.

When he turns, Cas is approaching him and then, he kisses Dean, sweetly and Dean feels like if he was able to breathe again when Cas kisses him. They look at each other when the pull away. “How was it?” He asks half curious half concerned.

Dean slips his hand from Castiel’s shoulder to Castiel’s hand, feeling the naked and warm skin of the arm. He holds Castiel’s hand and he looks at it. “Boring as hell.” He answers. Castiel puffs a laugh. Dean starts to walk towards the bed and he sits down. Castiel follows him and he sits next to him. He watches how Dean takes off his boots. “All went well, except that Jo and Crowley argued at the end of it.”

Castiel frowns confused. “Why?”

“They talked about when they lend you to Lilith. Jo didn’t make her sign a contract.”

Castiel nods and takes a deep breath. He doesn’t want to talk about nothing like that anymore, so he starts to kiss Dean’s jaw as Dean keeps taking off his boots. “Missed you.” Castiel says in between kisses.

“Me too.” He gasps. He moves his head so Castiel can have more room to press those freaking perfect kisses.

Castiel’s mouth keeps kissing the sharp line of Dean’s jaw until he arrives to his chin. Then, he kisses Dean’s mouth in a desperate way; the waiting was too long. “Are you too tired?”

“Depends on what you are planning to do.” He kisses Castiel again and he can feel his smirk in the kiss.

“Then I don’t think you are too tired.” He says with a sexy voice and biting his lower lip.

Dean looks at him wide eyes. “What’ve you got in your mind?” He is really curious about it.

Castiel kisses him again and before he pulls away completely, he bites Dean’s lip softly. He cups Dean’s face before he speaks. “I want to show you my homework.”

Dean frowns for a little before he realizes what Cas is talking about; a blowjob. Dean blew Cas a couple of nights ago and he and Cas joked about it, that Dean wanted to know what he learnt from it as if it was homework. Holy shit, Castiel wants to blow him. Dean doesn’t know what to say, he is so excited about it that he seems to have lost the faculty of talking.

Dean swallows and he looks at Cas. “Awesome.” Dean manages to say.

Castiel smiles and he kisses Dean fiercely. Then, he lays Dean on the mattress and he places himself above Dean. Then, they start to take off each other’s clothes. Castiel is quick but gentle with his movements. He tries to kiss Dean as much as he can when he takes off his clothes.

When they are all naked, Dean pushes Castiel down to give him a dirty kiss and he embraces Castiel. Dean loves when their bodies are pressed together, when there’s only their skin touching and feeling everywhere. He doesn’t want any space of air in between, he wants Cas everywhere, he wants to feel him on the smallest cell of his body. He doesn’t want to lose Castiel’s warmth and touch; he doesn’t want him to go anywhere. He knows Cas isn’t going to leave, but Dean needs to have him as much as me can.

Castiel pulls his mouth away and he strokes Dean’s hair sweetly. “Can I ask you something?” Castiel asks curious.

Dean cups Castiel’s face. “Yeah, ask.”

“Can I use my mouth anywhere I want?”

Holy shit. That’s the most arousing thing anyone has ever told Dean. Dean’s lips part and he looks at Cas; he is serious. “Yeah.” Dean says with a smile.

Castiel smiles and he kisses Dean again as he rocks his hips, rubbing his cock against Dean’s; Cas really likes to shake his hips and rub his body against Dean, who really loves it. It is wild and arousing, but at the same time is gentle and it drives Dean crazy.

The kisses start to go down; Castiel has learnt where he has to kiss Dean to make him moan; his neck, the part where neck and shoulder merge and Dean’s nipples. He knows what he has to do in Dean’s nipples to make Dean shake his hips. Castiel has to move his tongue, making circles with it, or just play with his lips and Dean moans and swears and gasps and tightens his grip on Castiel. And he knows Dean gets hard with this.

Castiel smiles against the hard nipple when he feels Dean’s erection. He kisses Dean’s tummy and Dean bites his lip as he draws a smile; he is ticklish and Castiel enjoys kissing him and nuzzling him there and the way Dean tells him to stop because Cas is tickling him.

Now Castiel touches the inner of Dean’s thighs and he spreads them gently. His eyes meet Dean’s; they are expectant and showing how much he wants this. Castiel smiles and he starts to kiss the sensitive part of the inner tight and Dean exhales sharply; he likes those sweet kisses Castiel gives him too much, he loves the feeling of Cas’ lips against his skin. It is perfect and insane at the same time and Dean finds it difficult to breathe because Castiel’s mouth is going up, about to be where crotch and leg meet.

He doesn’t expect Castiel’s mouth on his balls and Dean moans, half surprised and half aroused. “Holy shit Cas—”

Dean feels Castiel’s mouth tracing his balls and then, he feels his tongue and Dean is gasping for air desperate. He tilts his head up, pressing it on the pillow and he fists the sheets. This is new for Dean and damn it, he really likes it. He closes his eyes and parts his lips, panting because he didn’t know being sucked on the balls could be pleasurable at all. He still has things to learn.

After a few more moments, Castiel’s mouth goes to Dean’s hard cock, and Dean moans quite loud, more than he should, when Castiel has Dean’s cock in his whole mouth, pressing it against his throat. He feels how Castiel’s head bobs up and down and Dean moans and moans. He spread his legs a little bit more, he rocks his hips and he places his hand on Castiel’s hair. Now it is even more difficult to breathe but it is fucking worth because Castiel’s mouth is in his fucking cock. Cas is blowing him and Dean is rapt by it, so he surrenders to the pleasure.

This is new for Castiel, but he must admit that he loves it. Feeling Dean’s cock in his mouth, licking and sucking every small inch of it, tasting it, it is awesome, like Dean would say. He likes feeling Dean this way. He likes how Dean moans his name, how his whole body reacts with Castiel’s mouth. Castiel has to place his hands on Dean’s hips in order to keep him in place. He keeps working on Dean’s long shaft, feeling and tasting his cock, swirling his tongue along of it, enjoying every single inch of it, taking all of it.

Then, Dean comes, and Castiel’s mouth is filled with the come. The taste is strange at first, but then, he finds the taste amusing and he licks the head of Dean’s cock, because this is Dean, it is pure Dean, it is his come and Castiel doesn’t want to waste any of it, so he sucks and licks the head of Dean’s cock as Dean orgarsms, as he loses his mind and feels freaking awesome. He can even hear the blood pumping in his ears. He is panting but damn it, this feels so good and Cas is still blowing him, tasting his come and Dean can only part his lips and make a smile.

When there isn’t more come, Castiel licks his lips and he looks at Dean’s face. He leans and he kisses Dean, who presses himself even more. He opens his mouth widely to make more room for their tongues.

“How did I do?” Castiel asks after kissing.

“You have a fucking A+++” Dean says with a wide smile. Castiel laughs and he kisses Dean again, this time without tongue. “Did you like it? Blowing me?” He has a smirk on his face.

Castiel blushes a little. He is still so easy to blush. “I did.” He presses a small kiss on Dean’s lips. “I liked how you tasted.” He kisses him again.

Dean’s smirk gets wider. He kisses Castiel fiercely and Cas moans against his mouth. “I really liked how you tasted too.” With that, Castiel blushes even move and Dean makes a pretty smile. “So cute when you blush.”

Of course, Castiel blushes even more. Once Dean starts to make him blush, he can’t stop. “I’m going to end with all my face red if you don’t stop.” He says with a shy smile. Dean kisses him sweetly and Castiel cups his face.

“You are still hard.” Dean says with a soft voice. He starts to travel Castiel’s back with his hand and then, he moves to Castiel’s hips and then, he grabs Castiel’s cock, making Cas to moan. Dean squeezes the head of his cock and Castiel presses his forehead against Dean’s.

“Dean.” He moans. Dean presses again the head and Castiel’s back arches. He starts to pant. “Please, touch me like that again.”

Dean complies and Castiel moans and he shakes his body. He holds himself on Dean’s shoulders as Dean strokes the head of his cock. Castiel always loses his mind when Dean touches it. Then, Dean’s hand strokes the cock and he starts to move his hand up and down, stroking the shaft and Castiel rocks his hips as he moans Dean’s name over and over again. He half closes his eyes, but he doesn’t take his sight away from Dean’s. He comes easily and he says in an orgasm Dean’s name against Dean’s mouth and Dean thinks that if he was still hard, he would have come with that.

Castiel relaxes and he places his face on Dean’s neck. He kisses it and he closes his eyes. He is still panting, but not like before. He places his hand on Dean’s shoulder and he snuggles himself above Dean, who looks at him with a smile.

“You always get so sleepy after coming.” Dean murmurs. He is searching with his hand in the drawer of the bedside table for some toilet paper to clean Castiel’s mess in their bodies.

“Sorry.” Castiel mumbles.

“Don’t apologize, Cas.” He starts to clean off the come and he makes a ball with the paper toilet; tomorrow they will throw it away. “It isn’t something strange.”

Castiel nods and he nuzzles Dean’s collarbone. “I really like how I feel after coming. I really like how I feel when I make out with you.”

Dean presses a sweet kiss to Castiel’s head. “I feel like that too.” He picks up the sheets and the quilt difficulty; Cas doesn’t move, he is too tired for that and he is about to fall asleep, but he finally manages to pick them and he covers both of them. Then, he switches off the lamp.

“I wouldn’t mind if I died like this.” Castiel mumbles. Dean frowns although Cas can’t see him. “After this. Dying while I sleep with you.”

“Cas, don’t say things like that.” He says uncomfortable. Just the idea of waking up and finding Cas dead it scares the hell out of Dean. He grips Castiel tighter in his arms and Castiel smiles.

“I’m not going to die tonight Dean. And I’m not going anywhere either.” He tangles his legs with Dean, showing him that he is telling the truth.

Dean looks up; he doesn’t know why he feels a bit bad right now. He is scared of losing Cas, he will always be. Dean isn’t worth, Dean fucks things up, Dean hurts people. He doesn’t want any of that for Cas, but he doesn’t know if he will screw something up, like he always does. He doesn’t want to let go what he has with Cas. He just hopes that he doesn’t end up being a dick and he hurts Cas. He really doesn’t want it.

“Stop overthinking, Dean.” Cas says.

“I’m not overthinking.” Dean lies.

Castiel blows. “Don’t lie to me. I can feel how your heart started to beat faster.”

Dean looks at him confused. Cas is like a fucking detective sometimes. “Just sleep, Cas.” He says closing his eyes.

Castiel sighs and he kisses Dean’s neck one more time. “I don’t want any of this to end.”

Dean tightens Castiel in his arms. He is so freaking glad to hear those words. They take away his stupid thoughts. Maybe, this time, things go right; maybe he doesn’t end up screwing anything, because Cas is different, all of this is different, and for the first time in a long, long time, Dean is happy with someone. “Me neither.”

He can feel Castiel’s smile before slumber grabs them.


	28. Thoughts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I want to thank all of you for reading, and I want to thank the kudos, the bookmarks, the comments and the subscriptions :)

Castiel doesn’t know why, but today, he finds it harder to wake up. Dean turns off the alarm clock with his usual grunt and his usual coup. If Dean could have the chance to meet the alarm clock’s invertor, Dean will beat the shit out of him; Castiel knows it well.

“Feeling lazy today, Cas?” Dean mumbles. He is still a bit sleepy. He tightens Castiel in his arms and he buries his cheek in the mess of Castiel’s hair. He loves how Castiel’s smell overwhelms him.

“I don’t want to leave bed.” Castiel finally says. That makes Dean smile and he can feel it. Castiel is in Dean’s arms, they are naked and they are really warm under the sheets. It is too comfortable. Castiel knows he has to wake up, but it is too difficult right now. He wants to be the rest of the day in bed, naked, with Dean. Why can’t they have any of that for just one day?

“We can be late for breakfast.” Dean suggests. One of his hands starts to stroke Castiel’s back softly and Castiel purrs. Dean’s hands touching him always feel too great.

“Everyone would suspect.” They always arrive to the kitchen at time. Everybody knows their schedules; if they altered it for only one day, maybe no one would notice, but maybe they would. And Castiel doesn’t want to take any risk. But he feels so great in bed this morning… “Why do you have to be so warm and comfortable?” He complains with a pout.

Dean laughs and Castiel looks at him. He really loves when Dean looks this happy, when he sounds this happy. It is so unusual to hear a laughter in this house… But Dean always laughs and smiles when Cas makes him to. And Castiel does it too when Dean is responsible for it. Dean kisses him sweetly and when he pulls away, he strokes with his thumb Castiel’s lower lip. “You are it too.” He says, making Castiel to smile. Dean bites his own lip and he looks at those too fucking blue eyes. “Fuck, I wish we could spend the whole day in bed.”

“Me too.” He kisses Dean in the same way he was kissed before. Castiel sighs. “But we can’t. You know it.”

Castiel starts to remove the sheets and the quilt. He is about to leave bed, but Dean grabs his waist and he rolls him over, making Castiel to be lying on the mattress while Dean is over him, trapping him, so Cas can’t leave the bed. Dean starts to kiss him in a spirited way and Castiel can’t resist it; he kisses Dean in the same way as his hands go down Dean’s back. This is addicting and dangerously insane, but they love it and they don’t want to stop it.

Dean starts to rock his hips as they kiss and Castiel moans and presses Dean against his body. He craves for Dean’s touch, for Dean’s kisses, for Dean. He should be worrying about taking a shower soon because they are going to be late for breakfast, but he can’t think anything right now. Dean’s kiss, Dean’s hands going down his sides, Dean’s movements, everything makes Castiel lose his mind and want more, even if there isn’t time for it. He wants Dean so bad. He needs Dean so bad.

“You don’t complain about being late?” Dean asks in that sexy but at the same time a bit arrogant voice. He keeps kissing Cas, but this time he is kissing where his jaw and his neck meet.

Castiel takes a needy breath. It is so difficult to breathe when Dean sends his whole body to the cliff of arousing and insanity. “I can’t think properly with you doing all of this.” Castiel confesses closing his eyes and biting his lower lip. He nails softly Dean’s back. He always needs to touch Dean. He has too much skin.

Dean smirks and then, his lips go back to Castiel’s and he kisses him. “I should better stop.” Dean says with a guilty face.

“Just keep kissing me.” Castiel places his hands on Dean’s head and he pushes him down to kiss him. Dean is impressed by it. “We can shower together.” He says panting. Dean parts his lips. He looks surprised and happy about the idea. “I need this.” He kisses Dean again, needy, desperate and hungry. He is craving for all of this. “I need you.” He whispers into Dean’s mouth.

He opens his eyes widely and his face shows how glad he is to hear all of that. “Fuck, Cas, I need you too.” He kisses him in a passionate way.

They keep doing that for several minutes, until they decide it is time to take the shower together, where kisses and caresses continue, but nothing else; they don’t have time for more. Besides, they had enough last night. They are happy and satisfied with kissing and touching, without blowjobs or handjobs; just kissing passionately, needy, fiercely and spiritedly. Kissing for all those times they won’t be able to during the time they are outside the bedroom. Looking at each other, as if they weren’t able to look at each other for years, saying with their eyes things words cannot say. Making time to go slower. Transporting themselves to a place where they can be free and they don’t have to hide their relationship. Taking that small piece of freedom they have when they are together and no one else can see them.

Castiel looks at Dean as they get dressed. He smiles at him. Sometimes Castiel finds it hard to realize that this is happening, that Dean and he finally got together. It is like a dream; he still thinks he is going to wake up and nothing of this is real, but those thoughts only come once in a while. At first they were very common, but now, they only appear rarely. He and Dean are together. And it feels oddly wonderful. Castiel has never felt such happiness or great ever.

He approaches Dean and he kisses his freckled shoulder as he presses his chest against Dean’s back and with his arms, he starts to caress Dean’s chest. He keeps kissing the shoulder, trying to kiss every single freckle. Dean turns his face to see him and he smiles.

“You are so affectionate today.” Dean murmurs.

Castiel leans his chin in Dean’s shoulder and the woods and the sea meet. “Is it wrong?” Castiel asks with innocence. His fingers are lingering on the soft and warmth skin between Dean’s pectorals.

Dean smiles. “Not at all.” He turns, so he is facing Castiel and he kisses him in a passionate way. He cups Castiel’s face, feeling how his jaw moves as they kiss and Dean leans in those lips even more, enjoying how warmth and sweet and salty Castiel’s mouth is. When Dean pulls away, he looks at Castiel with his eyes half closed. Nobody has ever looked at Dean the way Cas does. “We should keep dressing.”

“I know.” 

But it is hard to pull away. But finally, after a sweet kiss, they manage to keep getting dressed and in a few minutes, they are ready. And before they open the door, they kiss as if it was the last time they did it, like they always do when they have to leave the bedroom.

The morning goes like usually, breakfast and after it, work comes. The same old thing like always. Then it is time for lunch, but before they get to the kitchen, Jo tells them it is time to clean their bedroom. Dean feels happy about it because it means spending time with Cas in their bedroom. But at the same time he hates the fact of cleaning. He doesn’t like cleaning with the stupid cloths. But Cas will be there with him, and that’s freaking worth.

After eating, they pick all the things they will need to clean their bedroom and their bathroom. Once they are in the bedroom, Dean locks the door and then, he helps Castiel to prepare the bucket with the mix of water and that soap that smells like lemon. Of course, Dean steals a kiss or two while they are doing it and Castiel smiles at him. It is odd to have the chance to do this after lunch; they never have the opportunity to kiss or touch at this time.

They take off their boots and they place the bucket in the middle of the room. They soak the cloths and they twist them to remove the remaining water.

“Try not to fall this time.” Castiel warns before he starts to place himself in that weird stance.

Dean glares him. “You aren’t going to forget that ever, right?”

Castiel’s smile is wide and happy. “I am not.”

Dean rolls his eyes, but he makes a tiny smile. He starts to do the stance and he looks at Castiel, who nods in approbation. Then, they start to clean.

Like always, Castiel is quick and perfect. But Dean takes his time. He isn’t as slow as the first time, but he is still slow compared with the freaking racing car Cas is. But at least Dean has great views of Castiel’s ass. He smiles because he remembers when they did this the first time; he stared for too long at Castiel’s ass and then, Dean was too nervous. It seems so long from that, but it is only from a couple of months ago.

“You’ve got a pretty nice ass Cas.” Dean says.

Castiel stops cleaning and he turns his face to see Dean. Cas is a bit blushed, but he has a pretty smile on his lips. “You are such a peek.” He is about to keep cleaning when something comes to his mind. “Wait.” He says confused and Dean looks at him. “The first time we cleaned the bedroom, did you stare at my bottom?”

“Yeah, I did.” He confesses casually.

Castiel raises his eyebrows. “And that time when you made me fell into the bathtub, were you looking at my bottom because you liked it?”

Dean smirks and a small flush appears in his cheeks. “Yeah. I’ve always thought you had a pretty nice ass. It was almost impossible not to look at it when you are like this.”

Cas laughs. He keeps cleaning the floor. “Well, I must confess that I looked at yours when you were working on the garage.”

“You did?” He is so excited to know that.

“I did. And sometimes at your crotch.” He bites his lips in a nervous way. “But I took my eyes away from you quickly, because I didn’t want you to see me too blushed.”

Dean laughs. “You are so freaking cute.” He approaches Castiel and he kneels in front of him and he starts to kiss him. Castiel moans in the kiss and he can feel Dean’s smile when he hears him. When they stop kissing, Dean smiles and he gets back to clean while Castiel is a bit blushed and smiling shyly.

They keep cleaning in that horrible stance. Castiel is the first one to finish, and Dean does it minutes later; but not too many. Castiel rewards him with a dirty kiss and Dean loses in it. Castiel smiles widely and happily when he pulls over and Dean smiles in his usual cocky way. He would love to keep kissing instead of cleaning, but they have to finish this awful task.

While they are cleaning, being on their knees, rubbing the wooden floor with the cloth in an effusive way, Castiel looks at Dean and he can’t help the smile that appears on his lips. This isn’t the most perfect life, he is aware of it; it is far away from a perfect life, but being with Dean, having what they have, it is the closest thing to perfection that Castiel has ever lived. Things would be even better if they weren’t slaves, if they weren’t in the Brown Lands, if they could have their place, live together and show the rest of the world that they are together instead of having to hide it.

He has never wanted and needed a person as much as he wants and needs Dean. He has never felt any of this before with anyone. Dean has broken all his concepts. The world he knew before Dean arrived seems so far away from him and so dark, and Castiel is really glad about leaving it behind, about grabbing Dean’s hand and getting out with him from the immerse darkness and painful pit he was before Dean came up and lighted up and warmed his whole life.

It is strange how easy things with Dean became. Even before they started to be more than friends, this sort of thing that Dean doesn’t put name on it, but Castiel doesn’t mind this untagged thing they have. They have it and they like it; that’s what matters. There’s no need to label it.

Castiel has never been this close, this attached, this intimate with someone else before, and every day he thanks more and more that Dean is the one he is giving him this part that Castiel never thought he could give to anyone. There are a lot of things he can give to Dean and he is willing to, but everything will come to its right time. He knows that Dean is sensitive when it comes to relationships, that’s what Dean told him, so Castiel is going to try to do his best and not to push him, even if Castiel is willing to tell him how much he loves him. He doesn’t know a lot of about the importance of those words, but he knows that they mean a lot for Dean, so he will keep them for himself, until he knows that Dean is ready to hear them.

He looks again at Dean, who has a concentration face and Castiel has to bite his lower lip to avoid a laugh. Dean sometimes takes too seriously tasks and he makes the most hilarious faces. He loves everything about Dean, from his perfect things to his quirks. All of that is what makes Dean who he is.

Dean isn’t perfect, Castiel is well aware of that, but for him, he is almost perfect. He knows he is kind of broken too, but Castiel knows that they have fallen apart a long time ago, before their lives collided, and then, they put together every single piece of themselves and that leaded them up to where they are. Sometimes Castiel wonders what Dean saw on him, what made him go beyond friendship with Castiel, and he is sure all of that was what made him take that step, that they both were broken and they put together their broken pieces. They know their dark spots and yet, they still want to be together. There’s light and darkness inside each other and both of them have seen both parts and there’s nothing they want to change from that.

He has fallen so deep for Dean Winchester.

Dean grunts. “I hate this.”

Castiel looks at him, waking up from his thoughts. “We still have to clean the bathroom.”

Dean grunts again and he pouts in a painful way. “Thanks for the encouragement.” His voice is all sarcasm.

Castiel rolls his eyes and he stands up. He approaches Dean, who was staring at him, looking how he was walking towards him. Castiel kneels in front of him and he cups Dean’s face; he gives him a passionate kiss and Dean places his hands on Castiel’s. “That was an encouragement.” He says with a cocky smile.

“Yeah, it was.” His smile is genuine and pretty before he licks his lips, tasting the remaining flavor of Castiel’s. Castiel always feels so happy and proud of making Dean smile.

Castiel kisses him on the lips; shortly and sweet. He stands up and goes back to the spot he was cleaning before. “If we hurry up, maybe you can take a nap for a couple of hours.”

Dean’s eyes open wide and he looks at the clock to confirm Castiel’s words. He looks again at Cas before he talks to him. “We better be fast. I really want that nap.”

Castiel laughs and he sees how Dean starts to clean faster. He is one of a kind. He knows he will never get tired of the silly things Dean does or says. He is an assbutt, but Dean is his assbutt. He will always be it. Castiel smiles widely and happily, and he even blushes a little bit with that thought.

This is Castiel’s first relationship; he has never been involved in any kind of relationship; neither emotionally nor physically. This one he has with Dean involves both. He doesn’t know a lot of about relationships, but he knows that this one he has with Dean, it is going to last long. He wants to say that they will grow old together, but nothing is sure in the Brown Lands. Nevertheless, he knows that what he has with Dean is special, and it will last a long time.

The rest of the cleaning goes faster than Castiel expected, mostly because Dean really wants too bad that nap, and Castiel can’t blame him for that. While they clean, they talk about everything that comes to their minds and they laugh or they just stop for a moment to kiss, something that encourages the work.

When everything is cleaned, Dean goes to his bed and lies down. He exhales sharply and he stretches all his limbs; he really hates the tiredness in his body after cleaning.

He rubs his face and looks at Cas, who is standing next to the bed. “Come here.” Dean says with an innocent voice and patting the empty side of his bed.

“I don’t want to disturb your nap.” Castiel says casually.

“You won’t. Come here, Cas.” He insists. Castiel lies with Dean, who rolls and he snuggles himself on Cas, placing his arm across Castiel’s chest. “You not gonna take a nap?” He mumbles as he closes his eyes.

“Maybe. I don’t know.” He places one of his hands on Dean’s hair and he strokes it slowly. “I’m not sleepy.”

Dean mumbles something that could be an ‘okay’, but Castiel isn’t sure. He looks at Dean, who is breathing calmly and he is already sleeping. Sometimes Dean falls asleep too easily. Castiel smiles and he kisses Dean’s forehead. He usually doesn’t have the chance to see Dean sleeping and he really likes how handsome and in peace Dean looks.

He doesn’t stop combing Dean’s hair slowly and gently with his hand. This view of Dean, this calmed and this quiet is heartwarming. He wishes he could see him sleeping more often. They always fall asleep together, and they can’t linger in bed during mornings, so it is impossible to stare at Dean completely sleeping. He can see him fighting against the feeling of waking up, but no more. The only time he saw him sleeping was when he had that awful nightmare, and Dean looked pretty bad, not as perfect as now.

While Castiel stares at Dean, he realizes how much he loves doing simple things with Dean. Just looking at him sleeping, feels really good. Everything with Dean feels too good. Everything. From the meaningless things, like watching how he brushes his teeth to the most important ones, when they are making out together, staring at each other and feeling their bodies together. Dean makes him feel good, happy and thousands of different things that warm his heart that he will never be able to describe because Dean leaves him speechless.

During all his life, everyone has threated Castiel in a bad or painful way; although most of the times were both, but Dean is the first one who has made him feel extremely good, to know and feel things he never felt, things he didn’t thought they even existed, things that seemed they belonged to a forbidden world where Castiel wasn’t going to know ever. Dean makes him forget all the pain, all the bad things, he makes him be in another world. Dean sends him to the edge of madness and makes him cross the limits of euphoria and happiness. Dean sets his body in fire and passion. Dean lights and paints with bright colors his dark black and white world. If he was speaking out these things, he knows Dean would tell him he is too cheesy and sappy, and probably, Dean would kiss him in that sweet way, because sometimes, Dean is a bit cheesy and even sappy too, although he tries to don’t let that out too much; he wants to keep his bad boy attitude. He smiles with that.

Dean has given him a lot of things. And honestly, Castiel never thought he would have one of those thousands of things Dean has given to him. He kisses Dean’s forehead again and he nuzzles his nose. He is too freaking cute when he sleeps.

He starts to trace down Dean’s body with his free hand. With his eyes, he follows the path of his hand. He really loves Dean’s body. He loves how it feels to touch him. He loves the sounds Dean makes when Castiel touches him. He is sure that Dean loves touching him and the sounds he makes when he is the one touching Castiel. The feeling of touching, kissing, pressing, sending each other to the border of insanity, feeling only pleasure and heat, how something warm and good blooms in their chests and it soon spreads around their whole body. Just the two of them, touching and kissing. It feels too good.

Castiel wonders if sex would feel like that too.

He opens his eyes widely and his hands stop moving. This is the first time he has thought about sex with Dean. Usually, when sex came up to his mind, Castiel pushed it away, because he was a bit scared of it. The memories of the Master raping him over and over again, were still there, and every time he remembers them, it hurts him a lot. So he always avoided the thought of sex with Dean. It’s not about not trusting Dean, he trusts Dean more than anyone; it is the fear of feeling pain even if Dean doesn’t cause it at all, because Castiel is scared of remembering that nightmare he lived for years once Dean gets inside of him. He knows that Dean will never hurt him or cause him any pain at all, but the fear is still there.

But today, he isn’t feeling that fear. It is strange. He looks at Dean’s eyelids, as he could find an answer in the hidden green eyes under them. Dean has always touched him in an extraordinary and painless way. Also, Dean has never pushed him to do something that he didn’t want to do, even if he is willing for sex; but Dean never pushes him, he waits for Cas to be ready, to want something. Dean is too good for him. He knows it.

Castiel takes a deep breath and keeps stroking Dean’s hair, which has grown a lot since the last time he got it cut by Castiel. He really likes this length; it makes Dean look even more handsome than usually. He smiles with that.

He is curious to know how it feels to have sex with Dean. He is actually considering having sex. He can’t believe it. He was sure he would never want to have it, and there he is, considering the idea of having sex. A strange but warm titillation runs his whole body. He is talking about Dean, the person who takes away all his pain and makes him feel things that he can’t put into words. If he feels like that with just some touching, with some kisses, how much great will sex with Dean feel like? How great it must be to feel Dean inside of him? Of being joined in only one body?

But what if he screws up and Dean doesn’t like having sex with Castiel? That thought scares him. What if he does something wrong? What if he is terrible at it? What if he freaks out and Dean freaks out too?

He shakes his head. Dean knew from the first moment that Castiel never kissed anyone, that he never blew anyone before, that he never wanked anyone before. And Castiel has been learning everything from Dean, who always says he is too good, and the sounds he makes when Castiel touches him, or kisses him, or he blows him, bear it out. Also, Dean told him that he never had sex with a man before, so Castiel shouldn’t worry about screwing things up. He breathes relieved with that, although there is still a small fear deep down. But they have to try it. They spent months hiding that they liked each other before Castiel threw himself to Dean’s lips. They have to give sex a shot. Sooner or later they will have to. Castiel knows Dean can wait forever, that if Castiel never wants to have sex, Dean will be fine with it, but Castiel would rather try to have sex with Dean, even if it doesn’t end up well. He has to give it a shot.

Dean makes a weird sound and he opens his eyes. He looks at Castiel with narrowed eyes. “You are such a creep, Cas.” Dean says rubbing his eyes.

Castiel smiles because Dean looks adorable right now, he leans to press a small kiss on those sweet pink lips. “You looked really handsome while you were sleeping.” He moves his hand from Dean’s hair to his jaw, feeling Dean’s stubble.

Dean smiles in a rouge way. “I always look handsome.”

“Assbutt.” Castiel laughs and soon Dean joins his laugh, until it is interrupted by a sweet kiss by Cas. “Did you sleep well?”

“Yeah.” He kisses Castiel again. “You didn’t take a nap?” He kisses him again.

“No.” He answers. Dean kisses him again. It seems that he doesn’t want to stop kissing; Castiel doesn’t have any complain about it. “I was busy—” Another kiss. “Looking at you.” Another one. Castiel kisses and he cups Dean’s face. He stops the kisses. “You don’t even let me breathe.”

Dean laughs. “Sorry.” He kisses him in a passionate way and soon, Castiel feels Dean’s tongue in his mouth and his throat makes a moan. This feels too good. “This is the first time we can kiss during the afternoon.” Dean says before kissing him again in the same breathtaking way. “We have to seize it.”

“I agree.” Now he is the one who grabs Dean’s face and kisses him in that way, making Dean to tighten his grip on Cas. “But give me time to breathe.” He smiles.

Dean looks at the clock and he bites his lower lip. “We’ve got less than 10 minutes before suppertime.” He looks at Castiel. “We could keep doing this.” He suggests.

Castiel rolls and he ends up above Dean. “I wouldn’t let you do anything else.”

That causes a happy laugh in Dean, who kisses Castiel when his laughter is almost gone. He caresses Castiel’s back while Cas cups his face and rocks his hips in that arousing way. Dean swears because if Cas keeps doing that, he is going to be hard, and Castiel smirks with that and he keeps kissing him and rocking his hips slightly. Dean keeps touring with his hands Castiel’s body.

This feels great, although it would feel better without the clothes. Castiel is still thinking about sex and about how much he wants to know how it feels like; even if he is a bit unsure about if he is going to do it right, but he wants to know the feeling of Dean being inside him. He wants to see Dean during sex, giving him what he has never given to anyone before.

Today has been a tiring day, but tomorrow, he will tell Dean that he is ready to have sex with him.


	29. A More Profound Bond

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, I mean it. And thanks a lot for the kudos, the bookmarks, the comments and the subscriptions

The next day goes like always. It is the same routine. Waking up, lingering on bed for a couple of minutes and kissing, taking their respective showers, having breakfast, work, having lunch, more work and finally, suppertime. The same old boring thing. Except from the first part; waking up together and kissing is always good and it isn’t boring at all.

During the whole day, Castiel has been thinking about telling Dean that he is ready for sex once they get back to their bedroom. When he woke up this morning it seemed too easy to tell him, but as the time comes, he is feeling nervous. There is still that fear of feeling pain, even if he is totally sure that Dean will never make anything that hurts him; but Castiel has that fear clung inside him. Everything he lived with the Master can’t be forgotten easily and the memorial scars of those nights are still there. But Dean isn’t the Master, then, why does he feel a bit scared?

But he wants to feel Dean that way, to have him inside him. And if everything goes well, he wants to be inside Dean. Although he is scared about that too. What if he hurts him? What if he does something wrong? What if Dean freaks out and he doesn’t want Castiel anymore? Those thoughts are hammering his head and they are getting louder and louder as the time to going back to the bedroom approaches.

He has to stop. Dean won’t hurt him. Dean hasn’t talked about having sex with Cas since they got together and Castiel told him he wasn’t ready for it. Dean hasn’t pushed him once. He has waited to Cas to be ready, he has always done everything after making sure Castiel was fine with it. Dean has been extremely good to Castiel. So there’s no need to be worried. Only to be nervous, because this is going to be the first time Castiel will have sex with anyone and he feels confused and nervous about it. There are too many questions in his head.

“Are you okay?” Dean says. He is looking at Castiel with worried eyes.

Castiel blinks. He doesn’t know how much time he has been thinking. “Yes, I’m okay.” He answers with a tiny smile. “I was just thinking.” He looks back at his salad and he keeps eating.

“Thinking about what?” He is still worried.

“Nothing bad. I promise.” He simply says with that tiny smile.

“I hope so.”

Castiel’s smile gets bigger. Sometimes Dean seems too perfect. Nobody has ever known him as well as Dean does, or cared for Castiel like Dean. The way Dean is with Cas is wonderful and he feels loved, cared and happy. Castiel smiles with that thought. Dean will never hurt him or cause him any pain. Never.

Suppertime ends and Castiel and Dean go to their bedroom. Once they are there, they close the door, the lock it and they kiss fiercely and desperate, just like every single night. Dean smiles in the kiss and Castiel loves feeling his smile that way.

“How about we brush our teeth and we keep doing this after that?” Dean suggests.

“Good.” Castiel says. He gives him a small kiss and Dean smiles again.

They brush their teeth together for a couple of minutes and then, they go to the bed. They take off their boots and their socks and after that, Dean lies Castiel down on the mattress and he starts to kiss him. Castiel places his hands on Dean’s hair and he starts to run them softly. He likes when Dean goes this slow, when his hands stroke his body, tracing him down.

Castiel pulls away from the kiss and he looks at Dean. He places his hands on Dean’s face, cupping it and he licks his lips before talking. “I’m ready, Dean.”

Dean frowns in a confused way. “Ready for what?”

“I’m ready to have sex with you.”

Dean’s eyes open widely and he parts his lips. He is surprised by that. “You— you sure?”

Castiel nods. He tilts his head. “Are you okay with it?”

“Yeah, of course. It’s just that— I wasn’t expecting you to be ready this soon.” He answers casually. He was expecting a month more at least until Castiel told him he was ready for sex. Dean has been wanting to have Cas that way, but he wasn’t going to push him. Castiel was raped and Dean knew that it was going to be really hard for Castiel to want sex; he wasn’t sure if he will ever want to have it, but Dean was okay with it, he understood and respected Castiel’s reasons. “Do you want to have sex right now?”

“Yes, I would like to.” He says with a shy smile.

“Awesome.” He says with an honest smile. He can’t believe he is going to have sex with Cas. He looks at Castiel’s eyes and he can see he is nervous. “You are nervous, aren’t you?” He asks with a sweet voice. Castiel nods and he blushes a little bit. Dean cups Castiel’s face. “Cas. I’m not going to hurt you, I promise. If I do something you don’t like, tell me and I’ll pull away. Okay?”

Castiel nods again. “Okay. It’s just—” He exhales sharply and he closes his eyes for a moment. It is a bit difficult to confess his fears, but he manages to do it. “What if you don’t like having sex with me?”

Dean smiles sweetly and he kisses Castiel. “I think that’s going to be impossible.”

Castiel bites his lower lip, making a little smile. “You are—”

“An assbutt, I know.” He interrupts. Castiel’s smile is genuine and Dean has to kiss it and feel it.

They start to take their clothes off slowly. They don’t stop kissing unless they have to when they take off their t-shirts. Dean’s hands are touring Castiel’s sides slowly, ending on his thighs and stroking him in an extremely sweet but arousing way. Castiel’s hands meanwhile are touching Dean’s shoulders, going down to Dean’s biceps, feeling the muscles and the strong arms of Dean; those safe and strong arms that protect him in the cold nights. He loves those arms.

Castiel is really nervous, but Dean’s touches and kisses relax him until he can almost only think about how good this feels. It always feels good, but tonight Dean is touching him so gently, so delicate, so sweet but at the same time it is really arousing and Castiel is starting to breathe a bit fast and his chest is starting to bloom its usual warmth.

Dean cups his face and after kissing Castiel in a lovely way, he pulls his lips away and he looks at that beautiful sea Dean always likes to sink himself in. He knows Cas is nervous, but he wants this, he wants Dean to fuck him, his eyes show it. And like Castiel’s, Dean’s eyes show how much he wants to fuck Cas.

“Are you sure about this?” Dean asks into Castiel’s mouth. It should be forbidden to do that.

“I’m sure.” Castiel says exhaling sharply. It is always too hard to speak or to think when Dean is all naked above him and looking at him like that and talking into his mouth.

“Okay. If you—” But Castiel shushes him with a kiss.

“I know, Dean. Don’t worry.” He says sweetly.

Dean nods and he kisses briefly Castiel. He must admit that he is nervous too because this is delicate; he is going to fuck Cas and although Dean has fucked with a lot of girls, he hasn’t fucked a man before. He knows how to do it, but he doesn’t want to hurt Cas or to do something that he doesn’t like. But Dean has to remain calmed, because that way, Cas will be a bit more relaxed if he sees Dean’s self-confidence.

“First of all, I’m going to open you up.” He starts to explain. Castiel makes a confused face and he is about to say something, but Dean keeps talking. “I’ll put my fingers inside you. One by one. That way, it won’t sore you when I start fucking you.” Castiel nods, but his face still shows he is a bit confused. “Don’t worry, you’ll see. Well, feel.” He presses a quick kiss on Castiel’s lips and then, he stands from the bed.

“What are you doing?” Castiel says sitting on the bed. Dean is kneeling on the floor, looking for his package bag as Castiel frowns at him with his usual confused look.

Dean picks it and he searches for his dressing case. After some seconds he picks a bottle. “Looking for this.” He says happily. When Castiel frowns confused, Dean smiles wider. “It’s lube, Cas.”

“Lube? You brought to the Brown Lands lube?” He says sassily.

Dean chuckles. “I always carry it with myself.” He starts to explain. When he went to the Brown Lands, he picked his dressing case, with all the things that were in there and added his toothbrush and his plastic razor. He didn’t care too much about the other things inside. Dean pushes with his foot the bag under the bed and then, he sits on the bed, with Castiel’s legs in between his. “Although I don’t have condoms.” He makes a grimace and he looks at Castiel, who is still sitting on the bed, looking at the bottle with curiosity. “I don’t have any STD, what about you?”

“Do you think if I had one I would be still alive?” He arches a brow and Dean frowns; he doesn’t understand what Castiel means. “Once you become a slave, they analyze your blood to know if you have any STD. If the answer is yes, they kill you.” He explains sadly.

“They didn’t do that to me.” He says confused. He remembers everything in the cage of the slave’s market. The food, the boring hours only staring at nowhere, seeing how people passed by and the punishments by grey eyes.

“They didn’t do it when you were conscious.”

Dean opens his eyes widely. He remembers waking up one day and feeling a bit of soreness in his right arm. When he took off his shirt, he saw a small red dot; he thought it was from a mosquito, but it didn’t itch at all. He didn’t think about having his blood analyzed.

“Dean.” Cas says with a sweet voice. He cups Dean’s face and Dean looks at him, pushing away all those memories; it isn’t time to think about any of that crap.

“Yeah. Sorry, just—” Dean clears his throat and then he smiles. “Let’s get back to where we left.” He kisses Castiel softly. “Lie down.”

Castiel lies down while Dean is still sitting. He places his hands on Dean’s knees, touching with his fingers Dean’s thighs and Dean smiles; he likes the touch and how Castiel always tries to have his hands on him every time he can, even if it is a little touch. Now, Dean opens the bottle and he puts some lube on one of his hands.

“We don’t need condoms then.” Dean says as he leans and places the bottle on the bedside table. Then, he starts to spread the lube in his hands. “We don’t have STD and we aren’t going to be with someone else.”

Castiel would ask Dean why would anyone of them be with someone else, but he loses the ability to speak when Dean starts to put lube on his own cock and Castiel’s eyes open wide. Seeing Dean touching himself is arousing, perfect and it leaves him breathless. Castiel parts his lips and his eyes are fixed on Dean’s cock and his hand, putting lube everywhere along the shaft.

Dean catches Castiel’s sight and he smiles in a goofy way. “You like seeing how I touch myself, Cas?” Dean asks.

“Yes.” Castiel confesses in a needy way.

Dean bites his lower lip and he moves his hand slowly down his cock. His eyes are fixed on Castiel’s excited and wondered eyes. Castiel breathes heavily and he even nails a little bit Dean’s thighs. Dean is touching himself a little bit more because he knows Castiel likes it. This is new for him and he loves it. Although he would love it more if he was the one touching Dean. But his time will come soon.

Dean smirks and after touching himself for a while, he leans and he kisses Castiel in a dirty way, making him to moan. After that, he kneels in between Castiel’s legs and he spreads them slowly. Castiel is nervous again. He trusts Dean, but he has never been this exposed for years and he is nervous and a bit terrified. There’s nothing to fear, he is aware of that. It’s Dean, and Dean means painless. But there is a voice in the back of his mind telling him that it can hurt. He wants to shut that voice so hard.

“It will be strange at first.” Dean starts to say. He is circling with one of his fingers Castiel’s hole and Castiel is tense. “I’ve fingered myself, and at first it is strange, but then, you like it.” He looks at Castiel’s eyes, looking down. “Are you ready?”

Castiel sighs and he meets Dean’s warm and concerned eyes. “I am.”

Dean nods and he makes a pretty tiny smile. In a few seconds, Dean’s finger gets inside Castiel and he makes a surprised gasp. Like Dean warned, the touch is strange. Dean’s finger gets deeper and Castiel gasps again and he parts his lips. Dean leans, without taking out his finger and he starts to kiss Castiel’s neck, where the black leather collar isn’t covering it. Castiel is breathing a bit fast; it is strange to feel Dean’s finger inside him, touching him inside, pushing deeper.

Soon, another finger joins and Castiel moans. Now it feels better. Castiel runs one of his hands through Dean’s hair in a desperate stroke and Dean stops kissing him and he places his face just to be staring directly at Castiel’s eyes. Castiel stares back, feeling how those beautiful green eyes are staring at him with passion and love, trying to know what the sapphire sea is feeling in this moment. Castiel gasps, as if he was asking for air as Dean’s fingers keep moving inside of him. When they touch his prostrate, Castiel moans unexpectedly; that touch was unexpectedly good.

Finally, another finger joins the two that are already inside. It sores at first, but not for too long. Dean scissors his fingers, opening Castiel slowly and then, he pushes them deeper and Castiel, unconsciously, starts to rock his hips in slow thrusts and Dean smirks in a lovely way because he knows that Castiel is enjoying this. That’s a really good sign. He touches Castiel’s prostate again and he moans and grips Dean’s neck, as if he was afraid of falling down and letting Dean go. Dean looks at him again; Castiel’s pupils are dilated and there’s pleasure and lust on them. His lips are parted and he is starting to pant. His eyes don’t move away from Dean’s and Dean doesn’t know if Cas will keep looking at him once he fucks him, but he hopes he does it, because this picture of Cas is fucking awesome.

Dean takes his fingers out and Castiel makes a small grunt. Dean smirks and he kisses Castiel with passion. When he parts his lips, Dean talks. “I’m gonna clean my hand and I’ll fuck you, okay?”

Castiel nods and he pulls his hands away from Dean’s neck. Meanwhile, Dean opens the drawer from the bedside table. They have been keeping some paper toilet in there for every time they needed to clean themselves after coming. It comes really handy.

Dean cleans his hands quickly and then, he grabs Castiel’s legs and he puts them around his waist. Castiel tightens them and Dean makes a happy smile. He leans to kiss Castiel and then, he cups Castiel’s face, stroking with his thumbs his cheeks. They are looking at each other. They are so close that they can see each other reflected in their eyes. This is a crucial moment for both of them.

Dean inhales sharply. “Ready, Cas?”

“Ready.” Castiel says placing his hands on Dean’s shoulders.

And slowly, Castiel starts to feel how Dean’s cock starts to get inside him. One thing was having three fingers inside him and another too different to have Dean’s hard and long cock inside him. It sores a little, but he knows it would hurt more if Dean did it abruptly. Castiel closes his eyes and he nails Dean’s shoulders for a bit until the sore feeling starts to disappear and he feels warm and full. He opens his eyes and he starts to breathe as if he had held his breathing for minutes.

Dean is inside him. He is so warm and so hard and it feels strange to have someone inside him again and not feel pain at all, only a small sore that starts to fade away as seconds pass. He looks at Dean’s eyes, which are a bit worried. Castiel presses his forehead against Dean’s and he places his hands on his hair. Their lips are touching and Dean can feel Castiel’s heavy breathing in his own mouth. Castiel feels extremely good and rapt and he doesn’t want to let Dean go right now. Dean is inside him, filling his emptiness and it is marvelous.

“Fuck me. Fuck me Dean.” Castiel pants in a desperate voice. He wants to feel everything with Dean, he wants him to fuck him until he loses his mind. Dean is inside of him, but he isn’t moving. “This feels too good.” He moans.

Dean smiles and he kisses him and he starts to fuck him. Castiel pulls his mouth away and he moans louder than usually. He should keep his moans low; someone could hear them, but this feels too good that he can’t control his voice. He closes his eyes for a moment and he feels how Dean rocks his hips and his cock gets in and out of him and how with every thrust, he feels warmer and full and better than ever and Castiel rocks his hips too, finding a rhythm with Dean. He opens his eyes and he looks at Dean, at this new side of Dean he has never seen before. Dean looks beautiful right now, so dedicated, so happy, so rapt, so perfect and so open. He is giving him everything and Castiel loves it. He moans Dean’s name and tightens his grip on Dean’s hair, without breaking the eye-contact, feeling how Dean fucks him and his whole body shakes; his toes curl and his back arches and the moans are pressed against his throat, coming out as Dean keeps fucking him. He keeps moaning, asking for more, feeling how everything builds and builds and pleasure keeps running his whole body.

Dean can’t take his eyes off Castiel’s. He looks gorgeous right now. He is enjoying this as much as Dean, and Dean is so fucking content about it. Fucking Cas feels better than he expected. Cas is so warm and tight inside. And damn it, he is giving everything right now, like Dean. And the way they are staring at each other as Dean fucks him, it leaves Dean speechless; he has never felt something like this during sex, this overwhelming warmth and passion and pleasure it is better than any other time Dean has had sex. This time it feels so intimate, so pure, so perfect. It is maddening and breathtaking. Having Cas joined to him, seeing how he reacts, that Dean is causing this, it makes Dean feel fucking good.

Dean’s hips keep rocking and Castiel’s legs tighten around Dean’s hips. He presses Dean closer to him. There isn’t any more space between their bodies, but Castiel needs to feel Dean everywhere as their bodies are joined together. He keeps moaning as Dean fills his emptiness like no one has ever done before, making him feel pleasure everywhere.

“Dean—” Castiel moans. “Dean, I need to come.”

“Come, Cas. I’ve got you.” Dean says in a moan too.

Castiel nods and in a few seconds, when Dean hits that wonderful spot again, pushing Castiel’s body and mind down the cliff, Castiel makes an orgasm with Dean’s name on it. He closes his eyes and he forgets about the world, only focusing on Dean, feeling how he keeps fucking him, slower, but in the same extraordinary way. Castiel tilts his head back and Dean presses his forehead against his. Castiel thinks he is smiling right now; he isn’t sure. He feels too good right now. He doesn’t know if he is breathing at all, although he might be panting, but he doesn’t care, he feels better than in his whole life. They are only one body; he doesn’t know where his finishes and where Dean’s starts and it feels too awesome.

He rocks his hips and he cups Dean’s face. Dean is still hard and he wants him to come too. Dean is panting, he feels it again his mouth. Castiel opens his eyes and he sees Dean’s eyes darkened by his pupils. There’s need, want, passion and love in those gorgeous eyes. Castiel was scared of this and now, he knows how stupid he was, This is the best thing he has ever felt.  
“I’m gonna come Cas.” Dean warns panting. A moan comes out when Castiel clenches around him.

“Come inside me.” Castiel says with a needy voice.

Dean comes inside Castiel and he loses his mind too. Castiel presses Dean’s forehead against his and he feels Dean’s orgasm in his mouth. The come fills Castiel’s inside and it feels really good and warm. He tightens Dean in his arms as Dean is still in the heat of coming, feeling fucking great. Castiel holds him and he closes his eyes, feeling how Dean’s whole body is surrendered to this moment.

When he is back to sanity, Dean kisses Castiel in a passionate way, making Castiel to moan. Then, Dean gets out of Castiel, who makes a whimper. He hates feeling that emptiness again, loosing Dean’s warmth.

Dean rolls and places himself next to Castiel. He takes a needy breathe and he turns his face to look at Castiel. “How was it?” Dean asks.

“Awesome.” Castiel says panting and looking at Dean, who is smiling happily and proudly. “I have never felt this good, this relaxed before.” He tilts his head and he leans it in Dean’s shoulder. Dean kisses his head and Castiel smiles. “I feel extremely good right now.” He adds.

“I’m glad to hear that.” He starts to run his fingers slowly on Castiel’s messy and sweaty hair. They should clean the come, but right now, it isn’t too important. “I feel like that too.”

“I want to fuck you.” He says with a whisper, as if he was ashamed of saying the word ‘fuck’ out loud. Dean raises his eyebrows in surprise and then he smirks. “I want to feel what it is like to be inside you.”

“You do?” He says with a sweet but smug voice.

Castiel smiles shyly. “I do. Once I recover my breathing I’m going to do it.”

Dean is surprised. They are exhausted and Castiel wants to fuck him. He is so fucking excited about it. “Sounds awesome. But don’t you dare to fall asleep.”  
Castiel smiles again. “I’m not going to.”

“Sure? Because you are about to.” He says sassily. Castiel is with his eyes closed and he is too relaxed. Dean is surprised that he is still awake; usually, he falls asleep easily and quickly after coming. But it is something normal; Cas’ sexual life was non-existent until he and Dean got together; his body isn’t used to this exhaustion. “You can’t promise me fucking me and then falling asleep. It’s not fair.”

Castiel laughs. It is a pure and happy laughter and Dean can’t help smiling like an idiot with that sound. Castiel opens his eyes and he looks at Dean. “Sorry.” He kisses Dean’s shoulder. “It’s just that I feel extremely relaxed right now.”

“Hey, I can wait, y’know? If you are tired, it is normal and understandable.”

“But I want to fuck you.” He says with a childish voice.

Dean grabs his face and he kisses him in a fiercely way. “I love how you say the word ‘fuck’.” He confesses biting his lower lip. He always says it with innocence, but there’s some dirty voice hidden in it and Dean really loves it. Castiel blushes a bit. “Okay, then you can fuck me.” He says with a huge smile.

Castiel rolls and he places himself above Dean. He knows he is going to be exhuasted, but he wants to feel Dean in that way. He will use all those last strengths he still has to fuck Dean. It is worth.

He kisses him and he rocks his hips, rubbing his cock against Dean. Then, he kisses Dean’s jaw and he caresses Dean’s nipple. “Should I do what you have done before? Putting lube on my hands and in my penis and opening you up?” He asks with curiosity.

“Yeah, Cas.” Dean answers.

Castiel nods and keeps kissing Dean and with his hands, he caresses his sides, until he ends up on Dean’s hipbones and he makes circles with his thumbs. Then, he touches Dean’s thighs and he keeps rocking his hips, rubbing his cock against Dean until he feels Dean is hard.

He picks the lube and he spreads the jelly on his hands and then in his cock. He can see Dean’s goofy smile and hungry eyes; he enjoys seeing Castiel touching himself, so Castiel starts to touch himself slowly, enjoying the way Dean is looking at him. It is strange how so many months ago, Castiel didn’t even though about being in the bed with a man and having sex with him, and then, Dean came and changed his world. Definitely, Dean is the best thing that has happened to Castiel.

“I’m not so sure about what I’m supposed to do.” Castiel confesses. He can’t stop thinking about doing something that Dean doesn’t like.

“Cas.” Dean starts to say with a lovely voice. He raises and he ends ups sitting, like Cas. He touches Castiel’s chin, raising his head so they can see each other’s eyes. “You will do fine. Just do what you want and feel like. I’m gonna enjoy it.”

“How can you be so sure about that?”

“Because you are a freaking fast learner and you keep surprising me.” He kisses Castiel before he can say anything more. When they stop, Dean can see the blush on Castiel’s cheeks and a tiny and shy smile drawn on his lips. Dean smiles and he lays down. “I’m ready for you, Cas.” Dean says.

Castiel nods. He starts to circle Dean’s hole and slowly he gets one finger inside Dean, who makes a small gasp. Castiel presses his finger deeper and Dean smiles. Then, Castiel leans down, until he is above Dean, who places his arms around Castiel, placing his hands on his blades. He feels how a second finger joins the one inside of him and Dean bites his lower lip. Castiel’s fingers are curious and inexperienced, but they feel quite good. Dean moans lowly when Castiel’s fingers arrive to his prostrate. Castiel smiles satisfied.

A third finger gets in and Dean moans a bit louder this time. It is starting to feel too good. Castiel scissors his fingers, a bit clumsy at first, but then, he catches the hang and he makes it better. Dean rocks his hips, trying to feel those fingers better. He wants Castiel to drive him crazy, until his lungs are craving for air and the only thing that matters is the two of them. He gasps for more and Castiel gives it to him. Castiel kisses him as he keeps fingering Dean, who moans again when the fingers touch that sweet spot and Castiel smirks. The bastard always smirks like that when he sees and feels he is the one making Dean moan like that or to shake his whole body. And Dean understands that too well.

He gets his fingers out of Dean and he cleans his hands quickly. He takes a deep breath and he looks at Dean with a bit of worry in his eyes. He is going to fuck him and he isn’t too sure about what to do and he doesn’t want to screw anything. Fingering was easy, but fucking Dean… He wants to, he wants to do it, but he doesn't want to screw things up. “Are you ready Dean?” Castiel asks.

“I am.” Dean says with a happy smile.

Castiel smiles and he feels how Dean places his legs around his hips. Castiel leans, just like Dean was before, so he can see Dean’s face perfectly, hoping that they look at each other during the whole time again, because it felt extraordinary to see Dean like that. He doesn’t want to miss any second of how Dean looks like while he fucks him.

Like Dean, Castiel starts to get his cock inside Dean slowly. Dean gasps; Cas is too fucking big, but as his cock gets deeper inside him, it feels better and better. Dean moans and he tightens his hands in Castiel’s back and then, he presses his forehead against Castiel, who keeps getting his cock inside Dean, making him to moan and to pant.

“Fuck, Cas.” Dean says in half a pant, half a moan. He smiles so happily. Cas is finally inside of him, his whole cock is inside of him and damn it, Dean feels full and great. “This feels awesome.” He says so aroused.

“What should I do now?” Castiel asks a bit nervous.

Dean laughs. Poor Cas; he doesn’t want to do anything that Dean doesn’t like. He’s such a sweetheart. “What do you want to do?”

“Move so I can fuck you properly.”

That was the perfect answer. Dean moves his head until his lips are in Castiel’s ear. “Then, fuck me.”

And Castiel starts to fuck him. Dean tightens his hands on Castiel’s back a little bit more and he presses his forehead back against Castiel’s. Dean keeps his eyes opened, seeing Castiel’s dark eyes looking at him so excited, so happy, so passionate, so needy and feeling how Castiel rocks his hips, getting his cock in and out of Dean, filling Dean’s emptiness, and feeling how warm and hard Castiel is. This is too fucking perfect.

Dean moans several times, always with Castiel’s name in them. Maybe he swears a couple of times, but the rest of the moans are Castiel’s name. Dean pants. His heart is beating fast and he rocks his hips, colliding them with Cas until they find the proper rhythm. He has felt so empty for so long and now, Cas is inside him, with his wonderful warmth, erasing that awful emptiness and giving him too much pleasure, giving him something that nobody has ever gave him before. Fuck, this feels too awesome. Dean is giving him all he has and Castiel takes it and keeps fucking him, sending Dean’s mind and body to that awesome cliff of insanity, making his toes curl, his fingers nail Castiel’s back, moaning Castiel’s name loudly, arching his back and tilting his head.

Castiel wasn’t expecting this warmth. Dean is too warm inside and it feels great. He never expected that fucking someone you love could be this extraordinary. And the way Dean looks right now, so open, so rapt by Castiel, how he doesn’t take away his eyes from Castiel’s, how those eyes are telling him he is loving this, that he is feeling a lot of pleasure, that he doesn’t want him to stop, that he adores the fact that Cas is inside of him, it makes Castiel to feel so fucking good. So he keeps fucking Dean, getting better in his movements as time passes. Feeling how Dean’s body is surrounded to him and how he is giving him something that he hasn’t given to anyone before. Because Cas is the first one who is inside Dean, and he feels great to know that he is giving Dean his first something, how is discovering to him this and making him feel better than ever. Because right now, they are connected and it is so hard to describe with words how it feels. Castiel doesn’t want to find words to describe any of this; they are just words. The important thing is what he and Dean and having right now.

Dean moans again and he keeps rocking his hips along with Cas. They are one body again and Dean has never felt this fucking good before. This thing he has with Cas is unique and fucking perfect and Dean doesn’t want to let it go ever. He wants Cas. He wants him to fill his emptiness, to make him feel all those things. He needs Cas more than anything in this world. He closes his eyes for a moment when Castiel’s cock touches that sweet spot and Dean moans loudly. He knows he shouldn’t moan this loud, but damn it, Castiel is getting better with this. He opens his eyes again to see Castiel, to see how freaking gorgeous he looks right now.

“Cas, I’m coming.” Dean moans.

“I have you Dean. I have you.” Castiel says with a desperate voice.

Castiel keeps fucking Dean, who makes an orgasm and he comes. His arms relax but they are still embracing Castiel. This feels too fucking good. He smiles and he feels how Castiel keeps fucking him slowly and how he presses his forehead against his and how he is breathing heavily against his mouth. Dean runs his hand unconsciously through that mess of dark hair. Nothing feels like this, like having Cas inside him, being just one, feeling this warmth in his whole body, hearing the sound of his heart beating in his ears, how nothing else matters. It’s just Cas and Dean and nothing else.

Dean rocks his hips slowly and he moans again. He knows Castiel is hard and he wants him to come and feel how he comes inside him. “Come inside me, Cas.” Dean requests.

“Yes, I want to.” Castiel says panting.

And quickly, Castiel comes inside Dean; he makes and orgasm and the rapt feeling of coming gets him. He loses his strengths and he feels how Dean holds him. This is too good and too much. He is exhausted but it is worth. He is still wondering how he could last that long. He feels really alive right now. Dean is with him, he is still inside Dean and he is coming inside him and everything is insane and perfect and he doesn’t want to stop doing any of this with Dean ever.

He doesn’t know when Dean started kissing him, but when he realizes Dean is kissing him, he kisses him back in that tender and passionate way, telling to each other what they can’t say with words. Then, he gets out of Dean, who whimpers; he doesn’t like the cold and the emptiness either. Castiel rolls over and he ends up next to Dean and he tries to recover his breathing. He isn’t sure if tomorrow they will be able to get up from bed.

“Great way to lose your virginity, right?” Dean says with a happy voice.

“Yes.” Castiel smiles. “We have to have sex more often.”

Dean laughs and he kisses Castiel as if he hadn’t kissed him in years. They look at each other; their eyes are shining brightly. “How are you feeling?”

“Extraordinary.” He answers with an honest smile. “And you?”

“Fucking extraordinary.” Both chuckle. “Let me clean our mess.” Dean picks the paper toilet. Castiel would help him, but his body is too tired that he can barely move. Dean cleans himself and then he cleans Castiel. He kisses Castiel and he switches off the lamp. Then, he covers both of them and Castiel rolls, so Dean can embrace him properly.

“Thank you for this. For not hurting me.” He says with a broken voice. He is about to cry, but he doesn’t want to spoil the moment. It was so intimate, so perfect and he can’t believe it. He takes a deep breath and he buries his face on Dean’s neck.

“I’ll never hurt you Cas.” Dean says. He kisses Castiel’s forehead.

“I know.” He reaches Dean’s mouth and he kisses him. It is a sweet kiss. “I have never needed someone as much as I need you Dean.”

“Same happens to me with you.” Dean knows they are having this conversation because of the heat of sex. Usually, he would try to avoid this talking, but not with Cas, because it always feels good with Cas and Cas is different from everything Dean has ever known. Even if Dean sucks at talking. He kind of wants to keep talking in the bed, while Cas is in his arms; it feels pretty good.

“I like being inside you.” His voice is low. Dean knows he is about to fall asleep. It has been a tiring night for both of them. Dean hopes he doesn’t smash the alarm clock against the wall tomorrow morning when it rings. They are going to find it impossible to get up tomorrow. Castiel nuzzles his neck and he keeps talking. “It was very different from anything, we were just one and I felt too good.”

“Yeah. Being inside you, hearing the sounds you make, how you looked at me and vice versa. It was awesome.”

Castiel smiles. “I’m too tired to keep talking Dean.” He whispers.

“Sleep Cas. We both deserve it.”

Castiel smiles again and Dean feels it on his neck. They don’t say goodnight because Castiel falls asleep in a few seconds. Dean smiles and he tightens Castiel in his arms, feeling his warm body against his. He forgets about where they are, what they situation is and he smiles, because he and Cas are the only thing important. And with that thought, Dean falls asleep too easily.


	30. Snow

Dean knows he will never stop hating the stupid alarm clock. He freaking hates it. But waking up next to Cas is always good; even if they have to leave that comfort in a few minutes. Since they started to sleep in the same bed, Castiel lingers more than usually, and Dean really likes it. He used to wake up immediately when the alarm clock rang and he got up easily; now, he wakes up, but he doesn’t get up. Dean is too warm and comfortable and he would give everything just to be able to spend at least half of the morning in bed with Dean. And Dean would do the same. But they know they can’t. Although they are in the safety of their bedroom, the slave’s work and life keeps going, and they have to go back to it. But the bed is too tempting.

It was even more difficult to wake up last morning, after having sex; Castiel was really tired and extremely comfortable and he was almost incapable of getting up. Dean always finds it hard to get up, so he was like every single morning. After lingering on bed for more than they should, they got up, took a quick shower together and they left for breakfast. Yesterday it was a tiring day; specially for Cas, who was still a bit tired because of the sex, but luckily, that night he slept well and he recovered all his strengths. Although he still finds it a little bit hard to get up today. But that’s Dean’s fault. He is too warm.

“We should get up.” Castiel mumbles.

“Yeah.” Dean simply says.

Castiel smiles. Dean always does that; he agrees, but he doesn’t make any movement that leads in waking up. Dean is too lazy and Castiel is starting to be it when it comes to wake up. He knows he should do something to force Dean to get up, but he doesn’t; instead, he starts to kiss him and Dean smiles happily.

After kissing for too long, Castiel manages to get out of bed, regretting his decision from the moment he pulls the sheets and the quilt over, but he has to get out or he and Dean will never be able to do it. The cold of the bedroom embraces him; November arrived a few days ago and the temperatures have gone really low. This is the usual cold of autumn in the Brown Lands, a cold that seems more appropriated from winter, but the Brown Lands are usually cold, except in the south part of the country, where temperatures are nicer and milder, but they aren’t in the south, they are in the cold part, but not the coldest one, luckily.

Castiel hates how the cold embraces his body, especially where the clothes aren’t covering him; Dean and the bed are warm and soft but the bedroom is cold and fiercely. He would give anything to get back to Dean’s comfort, but he can’t, so Castiel starts to stretch while Dean looks at him, in that tender way of his, with a soft smile on his lips. Castiel can see him from the corner of his eyes and he can’t help a happy smile; he loves when Dean looks at him like that. He feels really loved.

When he looks up, he sees the small window, as high as usual, but there’s something different this morning; there is snow accumulated in its edges. His face shines bright when he sees it. The Brown Lands are famous for its rain, and it only snows on rare occasions, except in the parts close to the North Pole. It has been almost four years since Castiel last saw the snow and he is really happy to see how the white snow covers part of the window.

“Cas, what’s going on?” Dean asks confused. Cas is smiling brightly and although Dean is so glad to see him with that smile, he is confused by it.

Castiel turns his face. “Dean!” He exclaims happily like a kid who is seeing presents on Christmas morning. “It’s snowing!” His voice is all joy and damn it, it is freaking beautiful.

Dean gets out of bed quickly and he stands next to Cas to see through the window. He tilts his head up to look better; the freaking window it is too high. “Fuck yeah!” He smiles; he has always loved snow and seeing it in that horrible country, it warms Dean’s heart a little.

“It’s been years since I last saw snow!” He is so enthusiastic about the snow. He stands on the tip of his toes, trying to have a better look of how everything outside looks like, but the window is too high. Suddenly, Dean embraces tightly his legs and he lifts him. Castiel makes a surprised sound at first and he holds himself tightly on Dean’s shoulders. He smiles happily and Dean returns him that smile. Now Castiel can look without any trouble at the wonderful image of the garden, all dyed by a white mantle. “It looks wonderful.”

Dean brings Castiel down and Castiel kisses him in a lovely way. Dean smiles after the kiss. “You look gorgeous when you are this happy.” He says. Castiel opens his mouth to say something but Dean puts his index finger in his lips and shushes him. “That was cheesy. Don’t say it.”

Castiel smiles happily and he catches Dean’s hand and he pulls it away, but he doesn’t stop holding it. “You are so cheesy.” He smiles and he kisses Dean, feeling his smile against his lips.

“Will you have to work on the garden with this snow?” He wonders curious. He looks at their hands, appreciating how their fingers are tangled together. Just a simple gesture, but it warms Dean’s heart in an awesome way.

“Yes. I will have to clean the snow from the benches, the fountains, the paths…” He nuzzles Dean’s nose in a childish way and Dean smiles; he loves when Cas is so fucking cute. “It will be great.”

“Good to know you’ll have an awesome day.”

Castiel smiles. “Can I say something cheesy too without you making fun of it?”

“I’ll make fun of it, y’know it.” He pouts in a funny way.

“Then, I’ll say nothing.” He presses a small kiss and he pulls away, going towards the wardrobe to pick his clothes.

“And you are gonna leave me here like that?” He sounds impressed and a bit smug.

He turns his face and he dedicates Dean a cocky smile. “Yes, I am.”

Dean huffs a laugh. Cas can be a cocky bastard sometimes and Dean really likes it. He smiles impressed and then, he starts to make the bed. Castiel looks at him and he bites his lower lip and he starts to play with his clothes.

“Dean.” Castiel says. Dean turns his face to look at him and he sees Castiel is a bit blushed. Red cheeks always look good on him. “Do you want to take a shower with me?” There is innocence and shyness in his voice and Dean thinks he looks extremely cute.

Dean smirks. “Yeah, I want to.” He says. Castiel’s smiles gets wider. “Y’know I always love taking showers with you. Even if we only take the shower.” He doesn’t care if they touch each other or not, or if they fuck; just taking a shower with Cas, it is always good.

“Then let me help you with this and we can take the shower together.” He puts the clothes in the wardrobe and he helps Dean to make their bed. After that, they pick their clothes and they go together to the bathroom to take their shower.

It is just a shower with kisses and some casual touches, but damn it, it feels fucking good. They don’t stop smiling during the whole time; they seem to be in an extremely good mood today. Maybe it is because the snow, maybe because it always feels good to wake up next to each other and kiss, they don’t know, but they feel really happy today and it seems too easy to forget about everything, about where they are, what they are and any of that crap. When they are together, nothing else matters, nothing seems to hurt them, to bring them down and both of them grasp to that slim oasis of happiness they can only achieve when they are together.

Once they are about to leave the safety of the bedroom, they kiss, like they always do, as if they weren’t going to kiss again, although they know that once suppertime is over and they come back to the bedroom, they will be able to do it again as much as they want, but there’s always that small doubt, that something can happen, even if it is unlikely; they are always too careful, they hide their secret as well as they can, keeping it away from everyone else in that house, but they can never be sure and there is always that small fear, that small voice telling them that something could go wrong. They get rid of all of that when they are together, when no one else can’t see them, but those thoughts always come back to them when they are about to open that door and get back to the hard reality of being a slave.

They are in the kitchen, eating the same breakfast; some cereals, some coffee and a few toasts. Like always, they are sitting as far as they can from the rest of the slaves. As they are having breakfast, Jo comes to the kitchen and silence is made in the kitchen and everyone moves their eyes to see Jo, who is standing in the doorstep.

She approaches the part of the table where Dean and Cas are sitting. She walks slowly, wanting to remark her appearance on the kitchen, which is silent except for the sound of Jo’s heels against the marble. She dedicates Dean and Castiel a cold and superior look and the couple glares her.

“Castiel; you are going to clean the snow from everywhere that shouldn’t be. Benches, fountains and statues, but mainly, I want no snow on the path and on the benches.” Jo starts to command. She raises her eyebrows in that usual way of hers. “And Dean,” she turns his face to look at Dean. “You are going to help him. You have the whole day for that.” She turns over and she leaves the kitchen. In just a couple of seconds, the usual sound of chatter fades the silence away.

Castiel’s face is bright and happy. He is going to spend the whole day with Dean working under the snow. That’s perfect. He smiles widely and Dean makes the same smile. “I’m so fucking happy about this.” Dean confesses.

“Me too.” Castiel whispers shyly but happily.

Once they finish their breakfast, they go to their bedroom and they pick a couple of warm and thick coats. The interior is made of cotton and the exterior is made of a bad quality leather but it is impermeable. It will keep them warm and dry while they work outside. They put them on and then, they go to the garden.

The garden looks beautiful. Everything is covered by the snow, but there are some green parts of the hedges that can be seen and brown parts of the wood of the trees and their almost naked branches; most of their leaves have fallen, except from the trees which leafs are evergreen. Everything is white with some bits of the garden colors. Castiel and Dean smile and they look at each other.

It is snowing softly. There isn’t any wind blowing, but it is quite cold; every time they breathe, a dense mist appears in front of their eyes. Soon, their noses and their cheeks will acquire a half pink half red shade because of the cold. Also, their hair will be dyed with the white snow that keeps falling down, painting everything with cold but with happiness.

They walk towards the shed, leaving their footprints on the snow with every step they take. They pick two shovels and then, they start to clean the floor made of pavement stone, which is covered by a thick layer of snow. It is going to be an exhausting job, but working together, under the snow with this cold, with all this layers of clothes that they are wearing, it is worth.

As they remove the snow from the path, Dean moves his sight to Cas; he looks so happy, like a little kid who has been waiting for snow for too long. Dean smiles happily before he speaks. “You look so happy.”

Castiel’s eyes meet Dean. “I am.” Castiel says. His smile gets bigger. “I love snow and I’m under it with you.”

“Aaww.” Dean sounds touched, although he is exaggerating it. Castiel makes a smirk. “You’re such a cheesy guy.”

“Lately you have been the cheesiest one.” He arches one eyebrow and his smile is a cocky one and Dean really loves the amount of sassiness of Cas right now.

“Whose fault is that?” He approaches Castiel, who stops removing the snow to look directly at Dean’s eyes. They are really close, but there is still some space left in between.

Castiel licks his lips and he looks at Dean, wishing he could kiss him right now. “Shut up.” He simply says and Dean smiles. Dean is about to lean to kiss Castiel but Castiel clears his throat and his sight has turned into a serious one. “Not here, Dean.”

Dean looks around. There’s no one near. He looks down and then, he looks at Castiel’s sharp eyes. “There’s nobody here.” He whispers.

“Dean. We can’t. You know it.” He remarks every single word. He is dying to kiss Dean right now. He looks gorgeous with the snow falling and melting slowly in his hair, with his nose and his cheeks turned into a slightly pink color and with his eyes wanting and desiring to kiss Cas under the snow. Castiel really wants to kiss Dean right there, but they can’t.

Dean sighs and he moves away, back where he was. “Fine.” He says casually, but there’s disappointment in his voice and even a slight anger.

Castiel takes a deep breath. “Dean.” He approaches him. Dean keeps removing the snow. Castiel sighs desperately. “I want to kiss you too, Dean, I want it so bad. But we can’t take that risk, you know it.” He sounds a bit devastated and Dean knows Cas means what he is saying, but Dean hates the fact that they have to hide it, that he can’t kiss his boyfriend—it seems that he has finally admitted that they are boyfriends— whenever he wants to. He can deal with it when they are surrounded by someone else, but right now, there’s no one. But there’s the chance of being seen and Dean hates it but at the same time he wants to fuck everything off and kiss Cas until he loses his mind.

A thick mist comes out of Dean’s mouth as he sighs. “I know Cas, you’re right, but fuck, I want to kiss you right fucking now.” He looks at Castiel’s eyes. They aren’t sharp anymore, they are a bit sad.

“We have to hold on, Dean. Like we always do.” He strokes Dean’s shoulder and he forces a smile. Then, he keeps removing the snow from the path.

They keep removing the snow for a while. Then, an idea comes to Dean. He looks at Cas, who is backing Dean. Dean leans and he grabs some snow and he starts to make a snowball. The snow feels extremely cold in his naked hands and he didn’t know until now how much he has missed something as simple as this; picking some snow and molding it in his hands until it is a snowball. Dean smirks when the snowball is perfect and he throws it at Castiel’s back. Castiel turns slowly to face Dean; his face is a surprised one and an incredulous one, as if he was trying to assimilate the fact that Dean just threw him a snowball. Dean, meanwhile, is smiling in his usual cocky way.

Castiel arches a brow. “Do you really want to start a snowball fight with me?”

Dean bites his lower lip, enjoying how cocky Cas sounded. “Do you think you can beat me?”

Castiel narrows his eyes and he makes a cocky smile. “Yes, I can.”

“Wow.” Dean says impressed as he moves his head. They look at each other for some seconds and then, Cas throws the shove away and he ducks to pick quickly some snow and Dean does the same.

Castiel is the first one to make a snowball; it isn’t too big, but its size is big enough for Castiel and he throws it at Dean’s head. Dean lets out an annoyed grunt, he looks at Cas, who is laughing hysterically and Dean throws his unfinished snowball at his boyfriend’s shoulder. He wanted to throw it at his face, but Castiel moved away. They duck again to pick some more snow. Castiel throws a couple of them, but Dean throws himself to the snowy floor and he rolls; Castiel laughs happily with that picture of Dean rolling on the snow, covering himself with some of it. He laughs so much that he doesn’t realize Dean throws him another snowball, this time, it hits Castiel’s head. Castiel throws at Dean’s back a few of them and Dean tries to run away, but Cas managed to make a lot of snowballs in a short period of time and now he is throwing all of them at Dean. Dean laughs and so does Castiel. Dean throws Castiel a snowball to his chest and then, Castiel’s face turns from happiness into a serious one. Dean turns over and he sees Jo standing, with a fur coat, with her arms crossed, watching the two slaves with a furious sight.

She glares at them before she speaks. “You should be cleaning the garden.” Her voice shows she is really pissed off and outraged. “Not doing that.”

“We were having a little fun.” Dean simply says. He knows he shouldn’t play with Jo, but what excuse is he going to say? They were having a snowball fight and she saw them. There’s nothing Dean can say or lie to make Jo be less angry.

“You are not supposed to have fun.” She says the last word in an overdressed way.

“Yes, right.” Castiel says with a sarcastic voice. Dean looks at him impressed. “We don’t deserve any of that, we are just flesh.”  
“Watch out you tune Castiel.” She takes some steps forward, approaching them slightly. Her eyes are filled with rage. “You are talking like Dean. Keep talking like that and I’ll punish you again like the last time.”

Dean is about to move and to hit her but Castiel grabs his arm tightly, stopping him from doing something stupid and reckless. Jo looks at Dean’s furious eyes and she makes a smile. She is enjoying how Dean wants to throw himself at her throat but Cas isn’t allowing it. She knows how much Cas suffered that night and she knows how terrible it had to be for Dean to see Cas like that, and Dean hates how she enjoys it. 

“Thank Castiel that he isn’t as stupid as you.” Jo says. Castiel glares her and he clenches his fists. Dean knows that if Cas was as impulsive as him, Dean would be the one stopping Castiel. “Keep working.” She orders and she turns over.

Castiel releases Dean’s arm and both of them watch how she leaves. “I’d throw her a snowball.” Castiel says angrily.

Dean smirks. “Yeah, me too.” They look at each other. “We can still do it.” He adds. Jo isn’t too far yet and with the right strength and aim, the snowball will hit her.

Castiel smiles. “I don’t think that would end up good.”

“Yeah, it won’t.” He looks again at Jo, who looks smaller and smaller and she moves away from their sights. He turns his face to see Cas and he shakes the snow off his hair and Castiel makes a cute smile. “You were pretty good in the snowball fight.” He says impressed.

“I know.” He says pouting in a cocky way.

Dean laughs. “Asshole.” That makes Dean to receive a small punch in arm by Castiel, but Dean laughs again. “I must admit I wasn’t expecting it.”

“Why not?”

Dean shrugs. “Knowing your past, I wasn’t expecting you to have done that before.” He looks again at the path, seeing that Jo can’t be seen, that she must be inside the house right now, and then, he looks into Castiel’s eyes. “And much less to have that ability and that aim.”

Castiel smiles shyly and he blushes a little bit. “I liked to throw snowballs by myself and trying to aim in the woods when I was a kid. I had to do it alone...” He says sadly.

“You won me.” Dean says with half a smile. Castiel smiles widely.

“What’s that expression you use?” He says with a thoughtful grin. “Oh yes, I kicked your ass.” His smile is all pride and happiness.

Dean glares him as he smiles. Then, he throws both of them to the snowy floor, being Cas the one lying on the snow and Dean being above him. Castiel looks at him confused and Dean starts to tickle him and to shake the snow until it covers Castiel a little bit. Castiel laughs and shakes his body. He rolls and now Dean is the one lying on the snow and Castiel tries to do the same Dean was doing, but Dean rolls them again and he grabs Castiel’s hands.

Castiel squeezes his nose, hating that Dean has managed to immobilize him. Dean smiles happily and so does Cas after some seconds. Then, without thinking it for a single second, Dean kisses Castiel passionately. He shouldn’t be doing this, Jo could come back again, or now Crowley could come, but Dean can’t wait more, he needs to kiss Cas, to feels his lips against his one more time. It is risky, but Dean right now doesn’t care, because kissing Cas under the snow is freaking perfect and happy.

“Dean.” Castiel says when they stop kissing. “You shouldn’t have done that.” He whispers a bit scared.

“I know.” Dean simply says. Castiel makes his confused face and Dean closes his eyes and rests his forehead on Castiel’s. “I needed to kiss you.”

Castiel sighs. He cups Dean’s face and he strokes it with his cold fingers. “Dean, if we start to do this outside the bedroom, you know we will start doing it regularly and one day, we will get caught.” He wants to do this with Dean all the time, he wants it more than anything, but they can’t take this huge risk. If they are discovered, the consequences will be awful and this will end up. Everything they have will be erased.

Dean opens his eyes and Castiel gets lost in that beautiful forest. “You’re right. Sorry, I—” But he doesn’t finish the sentence because Cas interrupts him with a kiss. Dean closes his eyes and he kisses him back. When Castiel pulls away, Dean makes a puzzled look. “Why did you kiss me?”

“Because I needed it too.” He simply answers. “And because it will be easier for us to hold until we are in the bedroom after this.”

“You can’t believe that. I want to kiss you again now.”

Castiel laughs. “I know. Me too.” He sighs now and he strokes Dean’s cheek. “We should keep working.”

“Yeah.” Dean stands up and he helps Castiel to stand up. He looks around, looking for someone, but they are all alone. Luckily, no one was there to see them. Maybe next time they won’t be this lucky.

Dean can’t fight against the need of touching and kissing Cas, he needs it, he needs that small contact, he wants to hold his hand with Cas’, he wants to hug him, he wants to kiss him, he wants to fuck him, he wants to cuddle with him, he wants all. From the smallest touches to the most important and intimates ones. And knowing he can only have them when they are in their bedroom, it kills him. He knows it is enough that at least they have their bedroom, and he truly thanks it, but he wants to show to the whole fucking world that Castiel is his boyfriend, that they are together. But in the Brown Lands it is impossible. They are two men in an emotional and sexual relationship and it is forbidden, also they are slaves, and being a slave and having a relationship, it is also forbidden.

Dean looks at the amount of snow he has removed from the pavement stone. He and Cas put their speed on and they have cleaned a lot of. He looks now at Cas, working hard, like he always does and Dean sighs. Things would be easier and better if they weren’t here. He doesn’t know how many times he has thought about this, but every time he thinks about it, it hurts. They can’t have a normal and free life. They can’t live together in Dean’s house. They can’t spend the whole morning in bed, cuddling. They can’t take walks outside holding hands. They can’t be sitting in the kitchen, eating what Dean just made. They can’t have sex over and over again until they sleep in their day off. They can’t sit in the couch and see a movie and fight for the popcorn. They can’t listen to Dean’s records together as they read a book. They can’t just sit in the backyard garden and watch the starry night under a cover as they cuddle. They can’t go to the market together and decide what flavor Cas wants Dean to make a pie. They can’t kiss whenever one of them says or does something cute. They can’t travel around USA in the Impala during their vacations. They can’t go out on a date. They can’t grow old together in their home, free and happy.

He didn’t realize when tears started to fall down. Fuck, he is crying right fucking now. Awesome. He looks up, trying to hold the tears, but he can’t. At least he doesn’t sob. He keeps cleaning the snow off the path, trying to hide his tears from Cas. He can’t see Dean like this, he will start asking why he is crying and Dean can’t tell him he is crying because they can’t have a happy life. But Dean’s efforts are useless and Castiel notices something is wrong with Dean; he always knows it. He approaches Dean, he rests his hand on Dean’s shoulder, trying to look at his boyfriend’s face, but Dean turns his face away from Cas, looking at the opposite way.

Castiel cups Dean’s face and he turns it until their eyes meet. “Dean, what’s wrong?” Castiel says with confused and sad eyes; he hates seeing Dean like this.

Dean can’t lie to Cas, he can’t. But he doesn’t know what to say. What should he say? That he is thinking about how he can’t give Cas a proper life? Or that he is thinking about all the things that will never happen because they are fucking slaves? Or that they will have to hide all of these because the Brown Lands considers what they have a crime? Dean doesn’t know what to say, so he remains in silence as the tears keep falling down his red eyes.

Castiel hugs him and Dean hugs him back, burying his face on Castiel’s shoulder. Castiel hugs him tightly, without understanding what’s going on in Dean’s mind, but he comforts him with his arms and saying, “It’s okay Dean. I’m here with you. I’ll always be. It’s okay.”

Dean fists Castiel’s jacket and he sinks himself in Castiel’s comfort, in how safe he feels in Castiel’s arms and even how warm he feels despite of the cold temperature and the freezing snow that keeps falling down. He hears Castiel’s words. He will always be with Dean. That’s what hurts Dean; they will always be together, but it will be in this awful house. They will grow old as slaves, they will grow old hiding this relationship, living in a hell of a house and Dean doesn’t know what to do about it.

The snow keeps falling down, covering them slightly, painting in white their bodies with snowflakes of different shapes and sides. Castiel keeps whispering words to Dean, hugging him tightly and Dean has stopped sobbing, but his eyes still have tears to drop. As Dean calms down, slowly, still feeling Castiel holding him, Dean starts to think about how much Cas has made for him, how much he cares about Cas, how much he needs Cas and how much he loves Cas. He doesn’t say out loud that he loves Cas, Dean is afraid of doing it, because he knows that when he loves someone, something bad happens and they fade away from Dean’s life. And Dean doesn’t want that with Cas. Right now Dean is confused and scared and he should stop overthinking; he knows it won’t do him any good. They should be cleaning the snow off and instead they are hugging, Cas is comforting him and Dean is still there, trying to get better.

Dean sighs and he pulls away slowly. He looks at Castiel’s worried eyes. “Are you better?” Castiel asks stroking Dean’s shoulders.

“Yeah.” Dean says. He is better, but he isn’t feeling good enough yet. He looks down and he sighs, then, he looks back at those gorgeous blue eyes and Dean can’t stop thinking about how much he loves Cas. He should tell him that, Cas deserves to know. But not right now. Dean isn’t in the mood. He is scared of telling Cas that he loves him. He is being too chick-flick lately.

“What is it, Dean?” Castiel answers. He is a bit scared of the answer.

Dean takes a deep breath and he pouts. “I’m a drama queen, told you.”

Castiel rolls his eyes and he takes an exasperated breath. “Dean, don’t start with—” But he is interrupted by a needy kiss. When Dean stops kissing him, Castiel doesn’t look away, right now, it isn’t important, because something wrong is going on with Dean, and he wants to know, he wants to help him and he doesn’t know what to do. “Dean, please, tell me what’s wrong.”

“I was thinking about what we could have if we weren’t here.” Dean says looking at Castiel’s eyes. “All the things we could have if we were in Sioux Falls.” He adds. Castiel now understands everything. “And—” He takes a deep breath and he closes his eyes. He is about to keep talking but Castiel puts his index finger in his lips. Dean looks at him bewildered.

“I wish that we weren’t here Dean. But—” He takes a deep breath. “It isn’t easy to forget any of that, to stop thinking how our lives would be if we weren’t here. You can’t keep thinking about that Dean, you can’t keep being in that road, because if you keep thinking all of that over and over again, you will only end up depressed.” His eyes are glassy and Dean’s are opened wide. He knows Castiel is right and he feels a bit hurt by those words, but Cas is right, like always. “We have this. It isn’t much, I know, but if I have to be honest, you are the best thing that ever happened in my life Dean, and I’m happy. I know this is the worst place, but I have you, and that’s what matters to me. Of course I don’t want to keep hiding what we have every time we get out of our room, but I don’t want to lose any of what we have.”

Dean kisses him again, now it is a sweet kiss and happy one. “You are fucking perfect, y’know that?”

Castiel blushes. “Shut up.”

Dean smiles brightly. “You are right about all of that Cas. It’s just that I keep thinking that stuff, I try to push it away—”

“But sometimes it comes back and you can’t do anything.” Castiel finishes. Dean nods. “I know Dean.” He grabs Dean’s hands and he caresses them, making Dean to smile.

“I love what we have Cas. I fucking love it.” Dean starts to say. “But I wished that we could have it all the time, like a normal couple.” He makes a sad grin and Cas does it too. “But this is the Brown Lands and nothing here is normal.” He takes a deep breath. He tilts his head up and he closes his eyes. He feels how the snowflakes caress his face, mildly but coldly. After a few seconds, he tilts his head down and he opens his eyes to stare at Cas again. “Sorry for that scene.”

“Don’t worry Dean.” He smiles in his usual sweet way.

Dean smiles him again. He is too lucky to have Cas in his life. What would he do without his fucking awesome and perfect Cas? Cas is right, he can’t keep thinking about all that crap. He has Cas and damn it, that’s fucking awesome. He has to focus on that, in that secret happiness they have built together.

“Can I kiss you one last time?” Dean asks a bit timidly.

Castiel’s smile is a big and shinning one. “You must.”

And Dean kisses him in a lovely way before going back to the work Jo assigned them. He kisses him with all his heart and soul, as the snow keeps falling down slowly and Dean can’t help that smile that appears in the kiss. He is a fucking cheesy fool in love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here' the chapter :) And as always, I want to thank you for reading, for the kudos, for the comments, the bookmarks and the subscriptions.


	31. Forbidden Words

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, for the kudos, the bookmarks, the comments and the subscriptions, thanks a lot :)

Dean mumbles something that Castiel knows it must be a swear. Then, Dean grunts and he turns off the alarm clock. Dean accommodates his face in the pillow and he holds Castiel’s hands. Dean is the little spoon and Castiel is embracing Dean tightly as his face rests in Dean’s back, in between the blades. Castiel really likes this position, he likes to be the one protecting Dean and he loves how their legs are tangled together. Castiel smiles when he feels Dean’s hands holding his. Instead of saying a thank you or a good morning, Castiel nuzzles Dean’s back, making Dean to smile.

“I would give anything just to stay in bed like this the whole morning.” Castiel says with his morning voice.

Dean moves his thumb on Castiel’s hand, caressing it in a soothing circle. “Me too.” He says with a rough voice. He takes a deep breathe. He hasn’t stopped thinking about all those thoughts from three days ago, when they were cleaning the snow and Dean started to cry. He tries to push them away and most of the time he manages to do it, but there are times when he can’t. He doesn’t want to look gloom in front of Cas and worry him more than he should. At least Cas manages to make him happy and smile and to forget for a little bit all that crap.

Castiel starts to kiss Dean’s back. He goes up, until he arrives to Dean’s neck, when he is there, Dean rolls over and their mouths meet and they kiss sweetly and a bit lazily; they aren’t too awake yet. They smile in the kiss and Dean wishes that when they crossed that door, the collars weren’t in their necks, that the hall from the Harvelle’s house wasn’t behind that door, that it was Dean’s home instead. He must stop thinking about that, like Cas told him, if he keeps thinking about it, it won’t do him any good and he will fall apart. So Dean pushes away the thoughts and he cups Castiel’s face and he kisses him as if he was the air he breathes.

When they pull away, Castiel inhales needy. “Wow.” He says looking at Dean’s eyes. “That was a breathtaking kiss.”

Dean laughs. “Yeah, it was it.” He makes a tender smile and he presses a small kiss on Castiel’s lips. “We should get up, right?” He doesn’t sound as happy as before, now he sounds tired. He hates having to abandon this happiness he has with Cas.

“We should.” Castiel sighs and then he kisses Dean quickly. He gets up from bed and he stretches. “It’s raining again.” He says looking at the window. After the snowy day, the next day it didn’t rain, but the following days it rained. During those days, Castiel had to do different tasks, like cleaning the library, tune up the piano, wax the vinyl records and clean the basement; all of that without Dean’s company or help.

Dean gets up and he approaches Castiel so he can look at the window too and see the rain falling down. “What do you think Jo will order you to do?”

Castiel shrugs. “I don’t know.” He turns to see Dean and he places his hands on Dean’s hips. “I want to work in the garage with you, even if I don’t know anything about cars.”

Dean dedicates him a pretty smile and he starts to pet Castiel’s hair. “Well, I could teach you a few things.” He approaches Castiel’s lips to his. The kiss is a tender one and it is really good, like all their kisses. “Yeah, I wish you could work with me today.”

Castiel makes a half grin and he kisses Dean again, but this time it is shortly. After that, he goes to the wardrobe and he picks his clothes while Dean starts to make the bed. Castiel gets in the bathroom to take his shower, then, it will be Dean’s turn. The same routine like always, well, like most of the time, because sometimes they like to take a shower together, when they have lingered in bed more than they should, like what happened yesterday’s morning, or just because they want to make out in the shower.

When they are in the kitchen, having breakfast, Jo comes and surprisingly, today, Castiel is going to work in the garage with Dean, which makes the couple to be really happy about it. Spending the whole day together, even if they have to work and they can’t kiss or touch, it is always welcoming and fucking great.

The garage is really cold today, but Dean and Castiel are wearing several layers of clothes, all of them really warm. Dean hasn’t opened the big garage door today, it is cold enough with the door closed, they don’t need more cold and freeze and also, Dean doesn’t want the rain to get into the garage, so today, like these past few days with this terrible weather, the door remains shut and they can hear the water drops hitting it, making a strange rhythm.

“Do you want to learn a little about how to fix a car?” Dean says as he picks the tools.

Castiel looks at him, with a sight that it is half surprised and half happy. “I would like to.” He answers with a pretty smile.  
Dean smiles too and he waits for Cas to approach him. They are in front of the car, looking at the engine and Dean starts to explain Cas a few descriptions of everything they are seeing. He explains him what’s the purpose for every single small thing. Castiel is amused by Dean’s wide knowledge about cars and he is paying close attention to everything Dean is explaining to him. And Dean is delighted seeing how Cas is paying all his attention to Dean and how he seems to be really enthusiastic about Dean’s words.

Once Dean finishes explaining the basics about the mechanics, he starts to explain things about the tools; Castiel knows the tools, but he doesn’t know which one is the appropriated one to every single thing in a car. Apparently, each part of the car can be fixed with one or two specific tools. Dean makes it look like it is really simple, and maybe it is, but Castiel has never touched a car, he doesn’t even have a driving license and his car knowledge, when it comes to fix them, it is a bit poor. But Dean makes things easy to learn, and Castiel is really sure that if he worked with Dean during a whole month in the garage, he would finally understand and know everything.

When Dean finishes teaching Cas most of the things he knows, they start to work in the car, a 1989 Ferrari Testarossa. Dean starts to fix the engine, which it is in really bad conditions; he doesn’t really understand how Crowley has this huge collection of cars and have all of them in such bad conditions. As Dean fixes it, Castiel looks with observant eyes Dean’s movements. Then, Dean gives him one tool and tells Castiel to do what he has been doing. Castiel does it and he does it pretty good. He is a really fast learner and he doesn’t stop surprising Dean with that. Dean smiles proudly because his boyfriend is fucking awesome and intelligent.

That’s how the morning and the afternoon go; the two of them working on the Ferrari. Dean makes something, Castiel pays attention and then, it is his turn to do the same. That’s how they work, except when it comes to weld, Dean is the only one who does it. He knows Cas could do it, but he knows the first time you use a weld, there are a lot of chances on burning yourself, and Dean doesn’t want Cas to get hurt. So while Dean welds, Castiel starts to clean the tools.

Dean can’t help thinking about what he is going to do once he finishes fixing all those cars and motorbikes. There are still a lot of them left to fix, but sooner or later, the day when everything is fixed will come and Dean doesn’t know what he will have to do. He is good at fixing cars and he likes it. Seeing the other tasks that can be done in the house, fixing cars is the best one. He doesn’t know which new job Jo or Crowley will assign him, and then, when he finishes that, it will be another one, and so on. It isn’t like Castiel’s work; he works on the garden, which is fucking huge and there’s always things to do in there. Dean sighs. How many different tasks will he do before he dies in this awful house? He should not think about it. The more he thinks it, the worst he feels.

“You are overthinking again.” Castiel murmurs worried. Dean didn’t hear him approaching him. Dean looks away from the just welded chassis and he looks at Castiel’s worried eyes.

“Maybe.” Dean simply says. He walks towards where he saves the welder after using it. Castiel’s eyes are fixed on him; Dean can’t see him but he knows it. Suddenly, he feels Cas kissing his neck. It is a small and quick kiss, but Dean thanks it. It is more than they should do in the garage, but they can do small things like that once in a while. Dean turns to face him and he sees the blue ocean of Castiel’s eyes. Fuck, they also look beautiful when they show worry. “It’s okay, Cas.”

“It’s not okay, Dean.” He says with a small anger in his voice. He takes a deep breath and he holds one of Dean’s hands in between his. “I hate seeing you like this.”

That’s why Dean was trying so hard to stop thinking about all that crap; Cas gets too worried and Dean doesn’t like to upset Cas or to make him sad. Cas only wants him to be happy and to smile. Dean doesn’t know what he has done in this life to deserve a person like Cas; he is too fucking good and perfect for him. Dean makes a tiny smile and he kisses Castiel’s forehead, briefly, just in case someone arrives at the garage unexpectedly. Then, he looks again at those too stunning blue eyes, wondering how Cas ever wanted to be with him, because Dean is all crap and poison, but Cas is still there, with him and Dean doesn’t fully understand why.

“Don’t worry, you’ll do something awkward and cute and I’ll start smiling again.” Dean says casually.

Castiel laughs softly and he rolls his eyes. “You are unbelievable.” He makes a cute smile and Dean smiles again. “I would kiss you right now.” He says with a shy smile.

“Yeah, I know. But we have to wait.” He can’t believe he is saying that. Usually, he would have kissed Cas, but he must be cautious and fight against the desire.

Castiel nods in agreement. “It won’t take us long.” They smile happily; suppertime will be in a couple of minutes and then, they will go to their room. “Can we have sex tonight?” He whispers shyly and blushing really quickly and Dean swears that Cas looks so frigging adorable right now. Dean’s smile shows his thoughts.

Dean bites his lower lip, looking at Cas in a goofy way, enjoying how cute Cas looks right now. “Yeah, we can.” They haven’t had sex after their first night, mostly because they were tired after working, they usually make out lazily and they really like it. “I really want to do it.”

“Me too.” His blush isn’t going to fade away soon, and even less after saying the following thing. “Can I— can I be the one who fucks you?”

Dean doesn’t know how Cas can sound this innocent saying that. Dean right now is finding it hard to breath; Cas wants to fuck him, it sounds awesome. Also, Dean thinks he should explain Cas that what he wants is Dean to be a bottom. He should explain him that later or any other day, but Dean loves how Cas says the word fuck. “Yeah.” He manages to say finally. He doesn’t know how he isn’t half hard right now after hearing that and imagining Cas fucking him again. Dean’s smile is a wide one.

“See? You look gorgeous when you smile.” His smile is genuine and extremely beautiful.

“You are so freaking cheesy.” He rolls his eyes, but his smile is still drawn on his lips. Even a small blush appears on his cheeks.

“But you like it.”

Dean has to agree with that. “Yeah, I do.” He can’t hold on for more, so he cups Castiel’s face and he kisses him passionately, because he needs to kiss him, to loose himself in Castiel’s mouth, because he needs that man too fucking much, more than breathing. Cas makes him feel good, he takes away all the pain, all the crap, all the shitty thoughts. Cas makes him free. Cas makes him a better person.

“Dean—” Castiel says breathy after they kiss. Dean’s kiss was breathtaking and really arousing. “You—”

“Yeah, I know.” He interrupts. “I shouldn’t have done it.” He knows it, he is conscious about it, they can’t risk like that, but Dean needed to kiss Cas, to feel good again and he couldn’t help it. He is being reckless, he knows it, but part of him wants to fuck off all of that. “I needed to kiss you.”

Castiel takes a deep breath, the kind of a worried one, and he looks at Dean’s eyes. “I know, but we can’t risk like this.”

“Cas, I know it. You are like a broken record sometimes.” Castiel glares him, he is about to say something but Dean keeps talking. “I needed it. It’s not an excuse, but—” He takes a deep breath. Then, Castiel kisses him in the lips, shortly but sweetly. When he pulls away, Dean looks at him surprised and a bit confused. “Why did you—?”

“I wanted to.” He simply answers. He doesn’t know exactly what it is going on Dean’s mind, but he knows it isn’t something good, and he will do anything to make Dean feel better. Lately, when they have kissed outside the room, well, when Dean kissed Castiel and said that he needed it, Castiel suddenly kissed Dean. It has been going like that. Castiel smiles in an intrigued way, leaving Dean perplexed. “Let’s have dinner, you must be starving.” He goes towards the door and Dean observes him with curiosity. When Castiel turns to see him, Dean has a pretty smile. “What?”

“Nothing.” Dean answers, smiling bigger. “You always manage to make me smile.”

Castiel blushes a little bit. “Well, you do it too.”

Yes, Dean does it too. Dean smiles and he goes towards the door and he and Castiel go to the kitchen to have dinner, like any other normal day. When they finish, they go to their bedroom and once they have closed the door and locked it, they kiss in a needy way, thanking that they are back to the only place in the house where they can be together and kiss and touch and have sex without worrying if someone will see them.

After brushing their teeth hurriedly, they go to the bed, kissing during the small path from the bathroom to the bed, smiling happily in every single kiss. Castiel lays down Dean and he places himself above Dean, who looks at him with dark eyes, only showing a small green circle around the dilated pupils. He kisses him in a dirty way and Dean moans against his throat before he is able to kiss Cas properly and twist his tongue with his. Then, it’s Castiel’s turn to make a muffled moan in that kiss.

They start to take their clothes off. Their hands are hungry to touch the naked skin that leaves the taken clothe, feeling the warmth of their skins, feeling how soon it is only skin against skin. There’s the need to touch everywhere, to feel every single small part of skin under their hands, to feel the temperature going higher with every touch, feeling the shape of their muscles and bones beneath their hands, shaking their bodies together as their hands keep exploring their bodies and as they keep kissing.

Castiel cups Dean’s face, tilting it up so it is easier to kiss. He opens his mouth widely to let Dean’s tongue into his mouth and they kiss in a breathtaking way. Dean caresses Castiel’s back, feeling the curves of it, mapping it with his fingers as Castiel rocks himself above Dean and he places his hands on Dean’s short hair, running his fingers in a desperate way and approaching Dean more to him, until there isn’t any tiny inch in between their bodies, avoiding any loss of warmth.

They take a needy breath after kissing, and they look at each other with dark eyes. Dean kisses Cas again in a maddening way that makes Castiel lose his mind and he has to hold himself by gripping Dean’s shoulders. Dean is like fire and Castiel is addicted to him and his fire. Dean is so spirited, so burning and so alive with him that he isn’t sure how he was able to live without Dean, without his fire, without someone lightening up and warming up his whole world.

Dean bites his lower lip softly before they pull away and Castiel moves his hands from Dean’s shoulders until they arrive to his chest and he starts to caress it, tracing it down as he bites Dean’s earlobe, something that makes Dean to close his eyes and tighten his grip on Castiel’s hair. Then, Castiel’s mouth goes to Dean’s nipple and he starts to kiss it, to lick it and to bite it extremely softly, just like how Dean likes it. He gets a couple of moans from Dean and Castiel really loves how his name sounds in Dean’s moans. He keeps working with his mouth in Dean’s nipple until it is hard and then, he rubs his hard cock against Dean’s before kissing him. And Dean smiles proudly and happily.

“Should I open you up?” Castiel asks when he stops kissing.

Dean nods. “Yeah. We’ve gotta do that always, even if we have already fucked several times. It eases things.” He kisses Cas again; he loves that mouth and those lips too much. “Get the lube.”

Castiel nods and quickly, he picks the lube bottle. They keep it in Dean’s luggage bag, the one that it is under the bed. Castiel squirts the bottle and the lube is dropped on his hand. After putting the bottle back in its place, he spreads it all over his hands and on his cock, and Dean’s eyes go wide with this last part and Castiel’s smirk is really noticeable; he likes when Dean looks at him like that, devouring him with his eyes.

Once he has spread the lube where it was necessary, he leans over Dean and he kisses him softly while Dean places his arms on Castiel’s back, caressing it gently. Soon, Dean feels how one of Castiel’s fingers gets inside him and Dean gasps. Cas doesn’t take his eyes of his; he loves how Dean looks when he is fingering him, although he loves it more when it is his cock the one inside him. Dean tilts Castiel’s head down, until their foreheads are touching and their noses are grazing. Meanwhile, Castiel’s finger keeps moving inside Dean, touching him.

A second finger joins and now Dean is starting to feel a soft burning pleasure. He places his hands on Castiel’s biceps and he starts to have a chopped breathe. He moans when the fingers touch his prostrate and he starts to rocks his hips, asking for more. And Castiel gives it to him and puts another finger inside of Dean. He does the same movements, making Dean to moan and then, a fourth finger joins too and Castiel starts to scissor them. And all Dean can do is to breathe heavily against Castiel’s mouth, rocking his hips and start to lose his mind.

Castiel gets out his fingers and he cleans his hands quickly. He looks at Dean, who places his legs around Cas’ waist and he kisses him, needy but spirited, and soon, Castiel’s cock starts to push inside of Dean, who has to pull his mouth away from the kiss to exhale sharply. Castiel parts his lips and starts to pant too; Dean is too warm and tight and it feels extraordinary to be inside him again. He kisses Dean briefly and then, he starts to rock his hips and to fuck Dean properly, getting his cock in and out of Dean with needy thrusts.

“Cas— oh fuck, Cas!” Dean moans. He closes his eyes for a bit and he bites his lower lip.

It feels great to have Cas inside him again, fucking him, filling him where nobody else has filled him, taking away his emptiness, felling how they are only one body. Dean opens his eyes and he rocks his hips with Cas, colliding once in a while. Cas is so warm and hard and nice that Dean feels better than in his whole life when they are like this. He loves how Cas looks at him, how he doesn’t take his eyes off Dean’s, how he moves inside of him and he gives him pleasure. Dean moans loudly and he closes his eyes again. His grip on Castiel’s waist tightens and his toes curl. His back arches. His heart beats really fast. The warmth blooms in his chest. Breathing seems to be harder and harder. And he presses the back of his head against the pillow. This is awesome, this is perfect, they are only one right now and Dean can’t think about anything that isn’t Cas or how fucking great this feels. He hasn’t been this exposed and opened with anyone else, he hasn’t felt any of this maddening and rapt sensation with anyone before when he had sex, and damn it, he is so freaking glad that it is like this with Cas. Only with Cas.

Castiel keeps fucking Dean, seeing how Dean reacts to him and it is delightful. He loves being inside Dean, he loves hearing the sounds that come out of Dean’s mouth, because Castiel is the one responsible of those sounds. It is so intimate to be like this; Dean trusts him and he lets him to fuck him, Dean exposes himself just for Cas, and there’s something really important in that. He doesn’t want to stop this ever, he wants to be like this with Dean, fucking him or being fucked by Dean, because this bond they have right now, sending pleasure to every small corner of their bodies, it is the best thing Castiel has felt. He loves knowing that Dean only sounds and looks like this with Cas, that nobody else can make Dean feel any of this, that Cas is the only one.

Castiel fucks Dean a bit harder and Dean moans louder. A tiny smile appears in his parted lips. He opens his eyes to see Cas again and he kisses him passionately, running his hands from Castiel’s arms to his hair and vice versa. He moans again when Castiel touches that sweet spot again. It sends pleasure to everywhere in Dean’s body. Feeling Cas like this, inside of him, damn it, he doesn’t know how to describe it with words, it feels so fucking perfect, so pure, so intimate that it sends Dean to the edge of madness and he wants to cross that edge, he wants Cas to push him over that edge. He feels how Cas’ hands are everywhere, tracing his body, without stopping fucking Dean, everything is warm, sweaty, nice, pleasure and a lot of more great things that Dean can’t put a name on right now; it is so hard to think when they are like this. This feeling, these movements, and this union, it leaves Dean speechless. Dean’s cock is itching right now, but he wants to hold on a little bit more, he wants to feel Cas fucking him a little bit longer, with his hands touching him everywhere, until that wonderful place is hit again. And Castiel hits it again.

“Cas—” Dean starts to say. The pleasure is too high that he doesn’t know how he is able to speak right now. He doesn’t have any idea about how he is still breathing. “Cas.” He repeats. “I’m coming.”

“I’ve got you Dean.” Castiel says panting. He cups Dean’s face, without stopping for a single moment to rock his hips, fucking Dean with hard but delicious thrusts. “I’ve got you.”

And those are the sweetest words ever. Dean comes and he makes an orgasm. His body surrenders to pleasure and to Castiel. Something blank fills his mind and Dean can hear how his blood runs. He can feel Cas inside of him, still fucking him. He wouldn’t mind dying like this, in the rapt of sex, feeling this alive, feeling this happy, feeling this fucking awesome.

Dean overhears Cas saying he is coming and Dean mumbles “I’ve got you, Cas.” Now Castiel feels exactly like Dean. He comes in Dean and his whole body relaxes, feeling lighter, although he is trembling. Dean embraces him, pressing their foreheads, holding him delicately. They are with their eyes closed. Dean is trying to breathe normally, but having Cas inside of him, coming in him, orgasming almost into his mouth, it makes it difficult, but it feels too great to be like this right now. They are still one body, without knowing where each body’s limit is.

The only sound in the bedroom comes from their heavy breathings. The air is thick and they know that right now the bedroom smells like sex. It is an overwhelming smell and feeling. The madness, the heat and the rapt after having sex, after coming is still inside them. Castiel and Dean are sweating, their hearts are beating really fast, they can even feel each other’s heart beating in their chests, their breathings are heavy, there’s come in their bellies and despite of the tiredness, they feel really, really good.

It takes them a moment to finally be able to breathe, more or less, in a normal way. When they open they eyes, they smile widely and they kiss in a lovely way. After that, Castiel gets out of Dean, who whimpers because he hates the cold and the empty feeling of the loss of Castiel in his body. Castiel kisses him again, softly and sweetly, and Dean tightens him in his arms.

He looks at Castiel’s eyes after they kiss and Dean has a tender smile drawn on his lips. He cups Castiel’s face and he strokes it gently. Cas looks gorgeous after sex. He has his messy hair all sweaty and some lock of hair stuck in his forehead. His cheeks are quite pink, his face it is a bit too, but it isn’t as marked as on the cheeks. His eyes are dark and they are shining brightly. He has a pretty and genuine smile. And his lips are a bit swollen because of the kisses. Dean will never get tired of seeing Cas like this; happy, looking gorgeous, naked and in his arms; he looks so natural. This man has sent Dean a few moments ago to the cliff of pleasure, taking all the pain away, like he always does. This man is everything Dean has wanted, even if he wasn’t sure, well, if he didn’t recognize that he needed and wanted someone like Cas in his life. Cas is the fucking whole universe to Dean. He loves him more than anything. He loves him too fucking much.

Dean should tell Cas. He knows that Cas loves him, he knows it. And he is so sure that Cas hasn’t told him that yet because he knows Dean, and he knows that Dean can freak out when it comes with feelings and all that stuff. Cas deserves to know that Dean loves him, but Dean is still scared; he has lost a lot of people he has loved, he can’t stand the idea of losing Cas too. But he has to nut up. He and Cas waited a long time to be together, because they thought they didn’t like each other. Dean is tired of waiting. To hell with all those fears. He loves Cas and he should know it. He deserves to. Cas had the most terrible and hard life, and he still gives a lot to Dean, without asking anything in return, holy shit, he is too fucking good for Dean. Cas is always trying to make Dean feel better and to make him happy. He loves Dean, he really loves him, and Dean must tell him that he loves him, because Cas deserves to know, he deserves something good, he deserves to know that Dean is in love with him.

“I love you Cas.” Dean finally says.

Dean Winchester, who never says things like that, who has only used the L word with his brother and only in special occasions, is telling Castiel that he loves him. It surprises him how easy the words come out and how it feels like a heavy burden has faded away. He doesn’t know why, he should be right now freaking out or something, he knows that would have happened if he told those words to anyone else. He knows he isn’t freaking out or saying those words because of the heat of the sex, it is because everything with Cas is different, Cas is different and he means something extremely good and nice and awesome and Dean truly loves him.

Castiel blinks perplexed, trying to assimilate the fact that Dean has told him that he loves him. He can’t believe that Dean has finally pronounced those words. He knew Dean loved him, he was well aware of that, but hearing it coming out of Dean’s mouth, Castiel feels really heartwarming right now. His heart skipped a beat or two when he heard those words. Dean has told him that he loves him. He starts to smile widely and happily. This is the first time someone tells him _I love you_.

“I love you too, Dean.” Castiel says before kissing Dean with all the love in his heart.

Dean should be scared about hearing those words, or he should be reacting in a stupid way, trying to say it is bullshit and all that stuff, saying that Cas shouldn’t love him, because Dean doesn’t deserve to be loved, but no, he isn’t feeling or doing any of that. It feels great to know that he is loved, and most importantly, that Cas loves him. He wants to be selfish for the first time in his life and take the love Castiel is giving him and all that love he is willing to give to Dean.

They can feel their smiles while they kiss. They were waiting for those three words and now that they have heard them, they feel great. The kiss shows it; it is needy, passionate and happy. Castiel can’t stop smiling. He is really tired after sex, but right now, he only wants to keep kissing Dean and see his smile and feel it against his lips. Dean loves him. Dean has said that he loves him. He hasn’t heard anything as perfect as that. He can’t believe it; it feels like a dream, like when Dean and Cas kissed and confessed that they liked each other. But once again, this is happening, this isn’t a dream, they aren’t going to wake up and find out that nothing of that happened. This is real.

Dean kisses him again. “I love you so fucking much Cas. I love you.” He nuzzles Castiel’s nose in a funny way and Castiel starts to laugh in his soft and sweet way, and it sounds gorgeous. Once Dean has said the words once, now they come out easier and easier.

“I love you Dean. I love you. I love you. I love you.” He hasn’t sounded this happy ever and Dean is so glad to hear his boyfriend like this. He really adores making him happy. He would give anything just to see him this happy, with this beautiful and bright smile on his face always.

Castiel takes a deep breath and he closes his eyes. He is still above Dean and he places his head under Dean’s chin. He is too tired right now. He doesn’t want to fall asleep, he feels really good after having sex and knowing that Dean loves him, but his body can’t fight anymore against the slumber that wants to reach him, so he just relaxes, feeling Dean’s calmed body under his, feeling like if he was in heaven.

“Are you already sleeping?” Dean asks as he pets Castiel’s hair.

“I’m about to.” Castiel mumbles. He always feels so tired and exhausted after sex. He feels a bit tired every time he comes, but when it comes to sex, he feels extremely tired. “Fucking you is exhausting.” He mumbles tiredly.

Dean laughs really loud and he feels Castiel’s smile in the skin of his chest. “Next time I’ll fuck you.”

“Sounds good.” He can’t wait to have Dean inside of him again. He would love to have sex with Dean again, but he is too tired, and he is sure that Dean is it too, although he might not be as much as Cas. He places his arm across Dean’s chest and he places his hand on Dean’s shoulder. He nuzzles Dean’s neck and he makes a small purr as he does it. Dean smiles again and he kisses Castiel’s head.

“We should clean. Dry come is nasty.” He says as he picks some paper toilet from the one they keep in the drawer. Castiel nods but he doesn’t move. He is really tired to even move.

“Sorry for not helping you.” He says a bit sad.

“It’s okay Cas. I know how tired you get after sex.” Dean murmurs sweetly. Cas will thank him his efforts on doing this and understanding that Cas is really tired. Dean is so lovely. He keeps cleaning the come; it is almost about to dry. After cleaning the mess, Dean switches off the light and with the help of Cas, he covers both of them.

“Is it uncomfortable to you if I stay in this position?” Castiel asks mumbling. He is about to fall asleep really soon.

“No.” He hugs Castiel tighter, and Castiel caresses with his toes Dean’s soles, which tickles Dean a little bit. Dean loves this; having Cas in his arms, protecting him, leaving no space between their bodies, being naked, feeling how Cas holds him softly but firmly, how they are in bed again, it is so simple, so natural, but Dean loves it too much. He has to seize these moments and enjoy them as much as he can. This bedroom is their oasis in that dreadful house. This is where they don’t have to hide, where they can be the couple they really are. And Dean really likes when he and Cas are like this, as if they were in their own home, being free, living their lives. This is the closest thing to happiness and freedom they have. Dean kisses Castiel’s head one more time. “I love you.” Dean says again.

“I love you.” Castiel says too.

And honestly, it feels great to fall asleep like that, hearing those words. Who would have told they would be this happy in the place where they are?


	32. Only Yours

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My biggest thank you to everyone who reads. And to everyone who leaves kudos, comments, makes a bookmark or subscribes :)

Weather is still really cold, but at least rain seems to be taking a break. Castiel loves the rain, but when it rains, he can’t work on the garden, and he really loves the garden. Now he is working there. The only bad thing about working outside in November, it is the cold temperatures. The sun goes down earlier with the days, and once the sun hides in the horizon, the temperatures go downer. Castiel is used to this, he also wears several warm layers of clothes, but despite of that, the chill it is noticeable, especially on his naked hands and on his face.

It is time to finish with his work, pick up his tools, leave them in the shed and go to the garage to find Dean. Lately, Dean has been leaving the garage door a bit opened, enough for Castiel to sneak his hands under it, raise it and get into the garage. It is cold, and the garage doesn’t have any heat, so Dean would rather work with it almost closed. He doesn’t want to leave it fully closed because then, Cas would have to take the long path to come to the garage. And no one of them wants that.

The garage door sounds when Cas raises it and Dean turns to see him, dedicating him his usual beautiful and bright smile. Castiel does one too. He closes the door completely and he approaches Dean. “Hello Dean.” Castiel says happily.

“Hey Cas.” Dean greets. He doesn’t kiss him, but he squeezes Castiel’s hand for a moment, without fading away his beautiful smile, making Cas to blush a little. Cas is always blushing. He doesn’t blush as much as he used to do before they got together, but he still blushes. “You are cold.” Dean murmurs when he feels Castiel’s temperature.

“I work outside and it is cold so…” He sasses.

Dean rolls his eyes. “You’re a sarcastic little shit.”

Castiel smirks. “But you love it.”

“Yeah, I love you too fucking much.” He wants to kiss Cas right now, but he knows that if he starts to kiss him, he won’t be able to stop, he would start kissing Cas passionately, until both of them were craving for air, and after that kiss it would follow another one, and after that, another and so on.

Castiel smiles sweetly. He doesn’t get tired of hearing Dean telling him that he loves him. It sounds wonderful. “I love you too.”  
Dean smiles too. This feels great; to feel loved, to know that he is loved. Yeah, he is so sappy and cheesy. “I’m hungry.”

Castiel laughs. “Come on, let’s eat before you pass out.” They start to walk towards the door, the one that leads to the hall. Of course, they pull away their hands; no one can see them holding hands.

“I’m not gonna pass out. You are too exaggerated sometimes.”

“Am I?” There’s his sassy voice again and Dean loves it.

“Fuck you.” He whispers. Castiel gives Dean a sassy look and he arches a brow, he is about to say something but Dean shushes him. “Shut up. I know what you’re gonna say.”

“What am I going to say?” He says with false innocence.

“Something like that’s what I should do to you.”

Castiel’s smile widens. “Yes. That was what I wanted to say.”

“I know you too well.” He bites his lower lip as he smiles. Castiel looks at him tenderly. “You’re getting too cocky, y’know that?”

“Well, I’m learning from the best.” He says with a huge smirk. “Besides, while you get cheesy and I get cocky.”

Dean laughs. Fuck, he loves Cas too much. He loves how he makes things easier and painless. Why didn’t they meet in another place? That would have been awesome. It would have been perfect to meet Cas in Sioux Falls, that Sam hadn’t gone to the Brown Lands ever and everything would have been good. But life is never like that. Life isn’t simple or easy. Life is an unraveling and a complicated mess.

Dean cuts down those thoughts soon and he and Cas sit down to have dinner. Dean’s eyes widen and his mouth starts to water when he sees there are raviolis with tomato sauce for dinner. Castiel can’t help a chuckle; he knows how much his boyfriend loves pasta and how he gets a little bit insane when he eats it. Dean ends up with his mouth all soaked with the sauce and he doesn’t finish chewing the pasta he still has on his mouth before he puts some more.

“One of these days you are going to suffer from stomachache for eating this fast and this much.” Castiel warns.

Dean rolls his eyes. “Shut up.” He mumbles with his mouth filled with pasta.

Castiel kicks Dean’s foot and he glares him. He starts to talk in a bit pissed off voice “Not talking with your mouth full. I’ve told you—”

“Thousands of times I know.” Dean finishes. Now he has spoken without food in his mouth. “You are so posh.”

“It’s called good manners.”

“I don’t think any of the things we do in the bedroom are good manners.” He murmurs with a cocky smile. Castiel blushes a lot and he has to look down, making Dean to laugh softly. “You are adorable when you blush.”

“Stop.” He complains. He kicks Dean’s foot again.

“Are you ashamed of what we do in the bedroom?” He asks with curiosity.

“Of course not.” He sounds offended. He looks at Dean, whose eyes show he is expecting an explanation. “I’m happy and proud of what we do Dean, if it wasn’t like that we wouldn’t do it at all.” He explains sweetly.

“Then why do you blush? When we are naked you don’t.”

“Guess I’m more comfortable when we are alone and naked.” He blushes again and Dean makes an impressed face. “It is weird, right?”

Dean smiles happily, showing his teeth and gums and making appear those cute crinkles on the corner of his eyes. “Nah, it isn’t.” He says. Castiel blinks perplexed. “You never had anything like this before, and you feel more comfortable when you are with me and no one else is around. They can’t hear us.” He says tilting his head to make reference to the other slaves. “But it’s not the same than when we are all alone.”

Castiel nods. His blush is fading away quickly. Dean can be the most teasing person and make Cas blush more than anyone, but he always understands Cas and he always tells him sympathetic things to Cas, showing him that Dean understands, cares and he is comprehensive with him. Dean is great; he will never get tired of telling himself that.

The rest of the dinner goes like usually; Dean eating with ‘devotion’ the pasta while Castiel tries to hide his too obvious love smile and both of them look at each other, saying with their eyes what they can’t say right now in the kitchen. Sometimes Dean caresses softly and as discreet as he can Castiel’s leg with his foot, making Cas to bite his lip and blush slightly; he knows that if they weren’t where they are, Dean would be touching his crotch. Dean is reckless, but he won’t risk them like that in the middle of the kitchen. Time to go to their bedroom is close. It is only a few minutes left to have that small freedom again.

Once they get up and they walk towards the kitchen door, they stop. Jo is in the doorway, looking angrily, devouring with her eyes Dean, who feels a shiver running his spine; Crowley isn’t in the house and that means that Jo wants to have sex with him. Dean glares her and frowns. He can’t let her touch him or kiss him. The idea of that it sickens Dean. He is going to do something, but Jo is always quick with the stun gun and Dean passes out like always.

“Dean!” Castiel is quick enough to catch Dean and avoid him falling down painfully. Castiel ends up on his knees with Dean in his arms. Castiel knows what Jo wants from his Dean, and he doesn’t want her to have Dean. He doesn’t want her hands on Dean, or her lips on Dean and much less, he doesn’t want her to hurt Dean.

“Let him go Castiel.” Jo orders looking angrily at Castiel.

“No.” He says furious. She can’t hurt Dean. She can’t touch Dean. He can’t let her do any to Dean.

“Are you disobeying me?!” She yells angrily and incredulous. She is used to slaves obeying her and she hates when one doesn’t do what she tells. “How dare you Castiel?!” Her voice is the only thing that can be heard. The rest of the slaves are in complete silence, watching them, seeing how angry Jo is and how Castiel doesn’t move, with Dean in his arms, holding him. This is an unusual picture to all of them, even for the ones concerned in it.

Castiel is being braver and more reckless than he has ever been in this house. He can’t let Jo hurt Dean. He can’t let her rape him. “Don’t touch him.” Castiel says slowly, bolding each single word and putting all his anger in them.

Jo makes an acid and loud laugh, making all the slaves to look at her with a bit of terror. But Castiel isn’t. He should be; that laughter can’t bring anything good, but he doesn’t care, he must protect Dean, even if he knows he won’t be able to do it. Jo squats and her eyes meet Castiel’s. “Do you really think you can protect him?” She says with a cutting voice. Castiel doesn’t answer, but his glare intensifies. Jo puffs a laugh. “He is making you stupid and reckless. I can’t blame him.” Her eyes go down to stare at Dean’s face. “He has those charming green eyes of his and that pretty face that it is almost impossible to say no to him.” She is about to touch Dean’s face but Castiel pulls Dean closer, moving Dean out of her reach. Jo looks directly at Castiel’s eyes again. “We can do this in the good or the bad way Castiel.” She starts to say. “The good way: you let Dean go and I do with him what I have in mind and he isn’t punished unless he does something that he shouldn’t. Or the bad way: you let Dean go with the help of Alastair and Azazel, I do with Dean what I have in mind and he is punished harder than ever because of your fault.”

“One way or another he is going to be punished.” Castiel says. He knows his boyfriend; he will fight against Jo even if he is tied up. Dean won’t let her touch him and he will be punished.

Jo smiles. “Yeah, but the bad way means that I’ll punish him just the way I punished you last time.”

Castiel scares with that thought. No. Dean can’t go through that painful punishment with the ice and the freezing temperature of the room. Castiel nearly died that night, if Dean goes through that, he might not get back to their bedroom and Cas won’t be able to help him, and the idea of losing Dean scares him. But he can’t let him in Jo’s hands either. Dean is going to suffer one way or another, but Castiel can’t let him suffer the ice punishment. He is going to hate himself for this, but there isn’t any other choice, so he lets Dean go of his arms, looking furiously at Jo, who is smiling proudly.

“He is your weakness Castiel.” Jo says victorious. Castiel clenches his fists and his hands are trembling with anger. “Alastair, bring Dean to my bed.” Jo orders. Alastair stands up and he starts to carry Dean, who is still passed out. “You care too much about Dean. It isn’t going to do any good to you.” She says with a fake innocent voice. “Now, go to your bedroom or I’ll punish Dean that way you don’t want him to experiment.”

Castiel walks angrily and fast towards his bedroom and when he closes the door, he kicks it and he yells frustrated. Then, he just leans his forehead against the door, feeling its cold and he starts to breath heavily and shaky. He wants to help Dean, but he can’t. If he does something, anything, Dean will suffer more than usually, and he can’t let Dean go through that. He can’t imagine how much painful it will be to Dean to suffer what Cas suffered with the ice. But in a few moments, Jo will start touching Dean, she will kiss him and Dean will do something and then, he will be punished. Imagining it, it makes Castiel feel sick, his stomach twists and he feels really cold. He can feel Dean’s pain. His Dean, his wonderful Dean. And he can’t do anything for Dean right now.

 

Dean doesn’t open his eyes when he starts to be conscious. His head feels dizzy and if he opens his eyes too soon, everything will be blurry and he will feel dizzier. But something seems stranger than usually. Every time, when he wakes up after Jo uses the stun gun on him, he feels he is tied, also he always feels he isn’t wearing all his clothes or that he is all naked, but now, he isn’t tied and he isn’t naked. Something odd is going on and he doesn’t know what it is exactly. Jo never uses the stun gun if she isn’t going to tie Dean, she doesn’t want to risk her stupid ass to Dean doing anything dangerous.

Dean opens his eyes slowly. He is in Jo’s bedroom and he is all alone. The door is closed and he can hear muffled voices. He recognizes them as Alastair’s and Jo’s. Dean has woken up earlier than usually. No, it can’t be like that, he feels like he has been passed out for the same amount of time like usually. So then, why isn’t he tied up already? Maybe something happened and Dean wasn’t brought to the bedroom as quick as always. Dean knows it isn’t a something, it is someone. Cas. Fuck, he knows Cas would do anything just to avoid Dean to get punished, but Jo is a bitch and she always gets what she wants. Dean just hopes that Cas is okay. Knowing Jo, she would have threatened Cas with hurting Dean more, and Cas must have obeyed, to avoid Dean more suffering. His poor Cas must be right now hating himself and waiting nervously for him.

Right now, he has to think fast about getting away from here. The punishment doesn’t scare him, it would scare him if Cas was the one being punished, but he knows Cas is in their bedroom. Dean knows that he is going to be punished no matters what. The thing he hates most is the fact of Jo touching and kissing him. He is Castiel’s, and no one else’s. He must stop this sick thing Jo has for him and he has to do something. It is going to carry consequences, but damn it, Dean has been in that punishment room too many times that it doesn’t scare him anymore. It has been a while since he last visited it; he knew this moment was going to come sooner or later. It is time to face this and try to end it up.

When the door is opened, Dean pretends to be still passed out. He hears Jo closing the door and approaching the bed. She stays still for a moment, checking if Dean is still passed out. Then, Dean hears how she moves and she starts to take Dean’s boots and socks off. It feels gross, sick and cold. Dean hates every touch from Jo, it doesn’t matter how small it is, it always feels terrible and Dean has to fight that sick feeling and pretend he is still passed out. He has to wait a little bit more, only a little bit more.

After taking off Dean’s boots and socks, Jo climbs into the bed and she places herself above Dean, with Dean’s legs in between hers. Her hands go directly to Dean’s jeans, she is about to unzip them when Dean grabs tightly and painfully her wrists and he opens his eyes. Jo’s eyes are filled with terror, but she tries to get away from Dean’s grip. But Dean is holding her tightly and he starts to twist her hands, making Jo to grunt painfully.

“You are going to suffer from this Dean!” Jo yells.

“I don’t care.” Dean says firmly and furious. “You aren’t going to touch me, kiss me or try to rape me ever again.” He hurts Jo’s small hands and she has to bend her elbows to avoid more pain.

“Yeah?” She says as she wanted to spit the words. “And why am I going to do that?”

“Because if you don’t, I’ll tell Crowley that you have fucked me.” He smirks. Her face goes pale with those words. “You thought I wasn’t going to realize it, right? I’m not stupid. You always do this when he isn’t here because he doesn’t approve that her little girl wants to fuck a slave.” He examines how Jo reacts with every single word. He caught her.

“He won’t believe you.” She shakes her whole body, trying to get away from Dean’s hands, but she can’t.

“Won’t he? Castiel knows what you have done to me and he will tell Crowley too. And I’m pretty sure that Alastair and Azazel know what you like to do with me. Your father can torture them until they speak. They fear you, but they fear your father more.”

Jo seems to be speechless and Dean feels great to have his victory. Crowley might not believe Dean at first, but he knows how his daughter looks at Dean and that will make Crowley to feel suspicious, and sooner or later, he will find out the truth and Jo will be screwed up. Dean doesn’t know what he will do, but he knows that Jo doesn’t want to go through it.

The problem comes now; Jo is looking at Dean, with a sight that it is half fear and half anger. Fear because she doesn’t want Crowley to know that she wanted to fuck Dean and anger because Dean is still gripping her wrists tightly and painfully. Dean knows she has weapons and she isn’t going to let Dean go as if nothing happened; Jo is too proud, she is going to make Dean pay for this. She isn’t going to start touching or kissing Dean in order to get him hard, Dean can see how when he told her about telling Crowley, there wasn’t that confidence she always has, it faded away to leave room for panic and fear. She fears her father.

Jo swallows and she tries to hide the fear in her eyes. “Release me.” She orders.

Dean looks at her cockily, but still with a confidence and angry look in his green eyes. He lets her go because there is no point on hurting her like that. Dean has to get away from this bedroom right now. He wishes he could do it without any harm, but he isn’t stupid; the moment he stands up and starts to walk towards the door, she is going to attack him. But Dean has crossed the line already; he can’t go further. So he just lets go his grip on her wrists and he stands up slowly, watching Jo, who is touching her wrists and massaging them softly.

Quickly, Jo stands up and she punches Dean in the face. She is surprisingly strong and she makes Dean to swing a little. “Do you think you are going to get out of this easily? You must be really stupid then.” Jo says angrily. Dean is going to fight back, but Jo already has the stun gun in her hand and like always, she is fast and Dean passes out again.

 

When Dean wakes up, he is in the punishment room. His arms are up and he is tied by his wrists with a rope. Naturally, his chest is naked; Jo is going to use the whip again. At least it is better than that ice thing she did to Castiel.

She looks at him with anger. “I’m going to punish you because you’ve hurt me and you can’t blackmail me with telling my father because he will support why I’m punishing you.” She starts to say as she walks.

“And what about raping me?” Dean snaps.

Jo shakes her whip and it hits Dean’s back. Like always, it hurts and it is quick, but Dean only closes his eyes, without letting out any sound; he knows she is dying to hear him scream, but Dean is strong and he will never give her that satisfaction. “You are my slave, you shouldn’t be blackmailing me.”

Dean puffs a laugh. “You are scared of him.” That makes him receive three whips, and Dean feels how his skin is starting to tear up, making the blood appear and run down his back. It has been a long time since he felt this. He knows he should shut up, but Jo is nervous and angry and he has to push her; he doesn’t want another night in her bed, with her hands everywhere, touching him in her cold and disgusting way and kissing him in that sloppy way. “You can try whatever you want, but if you call me once again to do that, I’m gonna tell him.”

Dean’s words are followed by the sound of the whip hitting his back over and over again, leaving bruises and wounds on his back, painting the skin with blood, spoiling the back in painful ways. But Dean keeps all the painful sounds stuck in his throat. He takes a deep and needy breath when Jo stops.

“What makes you think he will believe you?” Jo asks cautious.

“He knows how you look at me. At first, maybe he doesn’t believe me, but he will suspect. And sooner or later, he will find out. I know he can be really persuasive.” Dean explains.

Jo walks until she is facing Dean and she hits his cheek with the whip. The blood runs easily. The skin in that part is really sensitive and delicate. Now Jo is really pissed off, her eyes show it. She doesn’t know what to say. Dean knows that Jo can’t do anything. If she keeps carrying Dean to her bed, he will tell Crowley, but if she doesn’t, her secret won’t be exposed and she won’t suffer her father’s fury. She loses either way and Dean can see how much she hates it. She grunts and glares Dean. Then, she walks until she is facing Dean’s back again and she hits with the whip Dean in a furious way.

“You are the worst Dean! I hate you! I’m going to make you pay for this!” Jo yells as she keeps hitting the whip over and over in a hard and painful way. Dean is fighting against all his strengths to not scream right now. “Suffer Dean! Suffer!”

And she keeps hitting Dean over and over. The blood keeps running down, the wounds and the bruises keep appearing, the pain intensifies and all Dean can do is try to focus in the thought of seeing Cas once this is over, in being in his safe, caring and warm arms. And his kisses, his sweet kisses. That’s all he wants and needs. Right now, thinking about Cas is the only thing that stops Dean from screaming. Jo is letting out all her rage with the whip. She doesn’t stop for a single second, she keeps hitting Dean’s back, as if she was painting a grotesque red drawing and Dean’s back was the canvas, using the whip as if it was a brush, reflecting her anger and hate against Dean with every whiplash.

Jo gets tired after a lot of long minutes. Dean can hear her panting in an exhausted way. Dean is really tired and sore, but he knew this was going to happen. Nothing good happens in the Brown Lands, everything is pain, physically and or mentally. Except with Cas. But Cas isn’t here right now; he is in their bedroom, waiting for Dean to get back, and Dean knows his boyfriend has already prepared all the supplies he needs to heal Dean.

When Jo unties the rope, Dean’s arms go down heavily and quickly and Dean drops into his knees. His body feels so heavy right now; he needs to catch his breath and find the necessary strength to walk the long path to his and Cas’ bedroom. He will be able to walk in a few minutes. That’s what he thinks. But Jo isn’t done with him yet and she kicks his stomach, making Dean to lie in the cold floor and just right when he is in that position, Jo kicks his nose, breaking it and letting blood fall down from it.   
Now she is done. Now that she sees that Dean is on the floor, covered with blood and hurt, she is satisfied. Dean looks how she switches off the light and she leaves the punishment room, and then, when he can’t hear the sound of her heels against the floor and he can’t see her, Dean grunts.

He stays on the floor for several moments, trying to recover his strengths, breathing heavily, feeling the burning sensation in every single wound in his body, feeling the pain of the broken skin and the broken nose. He needs to get back to the bedroom, he needs to be with Cas, he will take his pain away, like he always does. So Dean starts to stand up slowly, picking his t-shirt, his shirt and his jacket, making them into a ball. He sees the stains of blood on the floor, his blood, and he feels a sick feeling in his stomach. Then, he turns and he starts to walk towards the bedroom, which seems further than usually.

After the long, painful and exhausting walk, Dean is finally in front of the bedroom’s door. He opens it, and Cas stands up from the bed from the moment he hears the door opening. When he sees Dean, his face is all sadness. “Dean.” Castiel says with a huge sadness. Dean closes the door and locks it, then, Castiel cups Dean’s face and he looks at Dean’s eyes. “Oh Dean.” His eyes are glassy; he hates seeing what Jo has done to him and he hates knowing how much pain Dean has been through.

Dean drops the clothes to the floor and he places his hands on Castiel’s. “Cas.” Dean only says. He makes a tiny smile. Seeing Cas, feeling his hands on his face warms him in so many incredible ways.

“I’m going to heal you, Dean.” He says upset. Dean nods. Castiel pulls his hands away from Dean’s face and he places one of his hands on Dean’s waist, so Dean can lean himself in Cas as they walk towards the bed. Dean was right; Cas had already prepared everything he needs to heal him. Dean smiles with that.

Dean sits down with the help of Cas and Cas sits next to him, facing Dean’s back. He looks horrified at the back. Tonight, Jo has hit Dean more than usually. “I know it looks awful.” Dean says. He can’t see Cas’ face, but he knows him too well to know that Cas is looking at the back horrified by Jo’s art.

“She’s a monster.” Castiel starts to say. He starts to clean the wounds and Dean grunts. His swollen skin is really sensitive right now. “She has destroyed your back. She is a fucking monster.” He says those words with all the rage he has in his body. They don’t say anything for a while, until Castiel finishes cleaning the wounds and he starts to apply the antiseptic. “I should have done something.”

“Cas—”

“Dean, don’t.” He interrupts. Dean can feel how heartbreaking Castiel’s voice is right now, but Cas doesn’t stop the healing. “I held you in my arms when you passed out and she wanted me to let you go, but I didn’t want to.” He starts to explain. Dean turns his face to look at him out the corner of his eye. “She told me that if I didn’t, she will punish you like she punished me the last time, with the ice and I couldn’t let her do that to you, but I should have done something to avoid you this pain.”

“Cas.” Dean turns and he cups his face. “You know how she is. She uses us against each other, and I’m grateful that you tried to stop her, although it was reckless.” He says. Cas is about to say something, but Dean interrupts him. “I know I’m not the best example to say that you are reckless, I know.” That makes Castiel smile a little. “But you couldn’t do much. She would have hurt you and she would have done that ice thing to me. I know it sucks to see how she makes you take that decision, she forced me to let you go before you were punished that night, but—” He takes a deep breath and he strokes softly Castiel’s cheeks. “It’s not your fault, Cas.”

Castiel’s eyes soften and he presses a soft kiss on Dean’s lips, covered with the blood that felt down his nose. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“Turn around. I have to keep healing you.” He says.

Dean complies and he turns around, so Castiel can keep applying the antiseptic. When he finishes that, he starts putting bands with a bit of tape in those wounds. Dean has a lot of wounds, more than any other night he has been punished; it is going to take a while to him to cure. Castiel caresses one part of the back that hasn’t been torn and then, he kisses it sweetly, making Dean to smile. Then, Dean turns, so now Castiel can clean the wound in his cheek and check out his broken nose.

Castiel starts to clean the wound in Dean’s cheek. “Did she touch you or kiss you?” Castiel asks. He is a bit afraid of knowing the answer.

“No. She didn’t.” Dean answers. Castiel looks at him confused. “When I woke up I was still untied and dressed up. Seems that you made her waste a lot of time when you were protecting me.” He starts to explain. He looks at Castiel’s eyes, which are focused on the wound, but sometimes, they look at Dean’s. Dean sighs. “I pretended to be passed out, and when she was about to take off my jeans, I grabbed her wrists painfully.”

Castiel gives him his half reproaching half serious sight. “You are unbelievable.” He puts the band on the cheek and then, he starts to clean the blood from Dean’s nose, lips and chin. “And what did you do next?”

“I told her I was going to tell her father what she did to me if she ever tried to fuck me again.” He murmurs. Castiel looks at him incredulous. “Then, she got angry and punished me because she knew she wasn’t going to be able to rape me ever again.” He adds. Castiel opens his mouth, shocked, without knowing what to say or do.

“Dean, she could have done something much worse than this for saying that.” Castiel manages to say after a while.

“I know it, Cas, I know that too fucking well.” He takes a deep breath. “But Cas I can’t let her do that. I’m yours. Not hers. You are the only one allowed to kiss me, to touch me, to fuck me, to have me in ways that nobody else has. You are the only one allowed to love me. And I don’t want her to take me from you. Never.”

“Dean—” He looks with glassy eyes at Dean and then he kisses him passionately. Dean grunts because his nose hurts and Castiel pulls away. “Oh, sorry Dean I—”

“It’s okay, the kiss was worth it.” He says smiling. “Just fix me this so I can kiss you properly.”

“Okay.” He was with a bright smile. “I’m going for the belt.” He stands up and he goes towards the wardrobe to find a belt that Dean can bite. “Sometimes you tell me really beautiful things, you know?” He says timidly as he sits down.

Dean blushes a little and he smirks. “Yeah. You are the only one with that privilege. Don’t tell anyone.”

Castiel smiles and he gives Dean the belt. Dean bites it and then, Castiel puts the nose back in its place, making Dean to grunt painfully, but the nose it is back where it should be. Dean drops the belt away and he grabs Castiel’s face, so he can now kiss him properly, without the pain of the nose disturbing them. “You are insane.” Castiel laughs when Dean pulls away.

“You realize about it now?” One of his eyebrows is arched.

Castiel rolls his eyes and he laughs again. Then, he cups Dean’s face and he caresses it gently. “I’m yours too.”

“I know.”

Castiel makes an honest smile. “You don’t say that this was sappy or cheesy?”

“It’s been a long night Cas.” He presses a sweet kiss on the tip Castiel’s nose. “And I was the one who made the cheesiest speech.” He sasses. Castiel laughs. “How ‘bout we get in bed and we sleep?”

“Yes. You deserve it.” He kisses Dean again. Then, he stands up and picks Dean’s t-shirt so Dean can put it on. Then, Dean takes off his jeans and he gets in bed with Cas after switching off the lights.

They are lying aside, facing each other and Castiel is the one who hugs Dean tightly. Dean presses himself against Cas, burying his face on Cas’ neck. Tonight Dean is the one who needs to feel safe, so Castiel is going to give him all the safety and warmth he needs. He starts to pet Dean’s hair in that lovely way Dean adores too much. He even purrs a little and Castiel can’t help smiling to that.

“I love you Cas.” Dean says as he tangles his legs with Cas. He really loves doing that, feeling their legs like that.

Castiel presses a kiss on Dean’s head. “I love you Dean.” It sounds great to say it out loud. “Dean.” He says after a while.

“Hmmm?” Dean mumbles. He is about to fall asleep.

“Don’t ever risk yourself like that again, please.”

“I was wondering when you were going to say something like that.” He mutters. He nuzzles Castiel’s neck and then he starts to kiss it.

“Dean.” His boyfriend is really distracting when he uses his mouth on Castiel, even if he does it as sweet as he is doing right now; he makes Castiel ramble. “You are doing this on purpose so I stop worrying?”

“Yeah.”

At least he is really honest. Castiel smiles and he closes his eyes, feeling Dean’s lips touching his neck, where the black collar isn’t. Then, those lips go to his jaw, and Castiel parts his lips with that and he starts to run his fingers a bit desperately through Dean’s hair. Dean’s mouth soon arrives to his and they kiss passionately. Castiel opens his mouth to let Dean’s tongue inside and their tongues meet and twist together. When they pull away, Castiel takes a needy breath before he speaks. “Dean, I’m so happy to know that she isn’t going to rape you again, but—”

Dean places his finger in his lips, shushing him. “I know what you’re gonna say. Try to be less reckless or stop doing something that doesn’t end up with a terrible punishment.” He says. Castiel nods. “Cas, you know how things work here. You act in a reckless way or you are fucked up.”

“Dean, I know. But I don’t want to see you hurt again.”

“I’m not gonna be hurt again. She isn’t gonna rape me again. This was the last time.”

Castiel inhales sharply. “You don’t know. She won’t rape you because she is scared of Crowley, but she will punish you for something else.”

“Maybe. But I achieved something.” He presses a gentle kiss on Castiel’s lips. “Don’t worry Cas. I’ll be fine.” He goes back to the position he was before, with his face buried on Castiel’s neck and with their legs tangled. “I’ve got you. That’s what matters.”

Castiel smiles with that and he holds Dean tightly in his arms. They have each other, that’s true. But Castiel knows Jo and he knows she will punish Dean for something. Castiel looks at Dean and he holds him tightly. At least right now, Dean is in his arms, and nothing bad is going to happen to him during the rest of the night. Castiel is keeping him safe and warmth.


	33. Thanksgiving

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, for leaving kudos, for the comments, the bookmarks and the subscriptions

Dean is sitting down in the bed and Castiel is it too. Castiel is checking Dean’s wounds. It has been a couple of days since Dean got punished, and like always, Castiel checks his boyfriend’s back before he gets in the shower. “It amuses me how quickly you heal.” Castiel murmurs as he removes the last band. He touches Dean’s back, trying to find if the skin has cicatrized well.

“I’m a superhero.” Dean smirks.

Castiel laughs and he kisses the part where neck and back meet and then he nuzzles it. “You are an assbutt.” He says and Dean laughs. Castiel kisses that spot again and then, he looks at Dean’s back. “Some freckles have appeared close to the wounds.” He says smiling.

Dean turns his face to see him. “You and your obsession with my freckles…” He rolls his eyes, but his lips have a smile drawn.

“Your freckles are gorgeous and I love them.” He explains with a complaining but sweet voice. He caresses the freckles and he smiles widely. “I have to count them one of these days.”

“It is gonna take you a lot of nights.” He laughs.

“Well, we have time.” He rests his chin on Dean’s shoulder and he starts to stroke Dean’s chest softly but in an arousing way. Dean turns his face to see him and he sees that Cas is smiling and he is biting his lower lip. Dean smiles and he starts to kiss him.

Dean turns over completely and he keeps kissing Cas, who soon pushes him down softly, until Dean is lying on the mattress and Castiel is above him. They keep kissing, smiling during it, caressing each other, running their hands along each other’s body, searching for the skin, for the warmth their skins release. They know they still have to shower and get dressed, but it feels great to linger in bed and make out slowly for a while. If they spend a lot of time doing this, they can shower together.

Suddenly, someone tries to open the door, but it is locked, so that person knocks. Castiel and Dean look at each other confused and Castiel quickly gets away from Dean and he goes towards his bed. He starts to remove the quilt and pretends that he is making it, just in case. Dean meanwhile, picks his t-shirt and puts it on, then, he goes to the door and he unlocks it before he opens it.

“What took you so long?” Jo asks. Mornings aren’t good for her and she sounds more irritated than usually. But despite of that, she looks at Dean hungrily, as if she was wishing to kiss and touch that body.

“I had to put on a t-shirt.” Dean answers as Castiel approaches him.

Jo makes an acid face. “You really think you are untouchable because of what you told me?” She starts to say. “I won’t try to fuck you, but I can still punish you.” She murmurs. Castiel grunts and he is about to move closer, but Dean stops him. Jo puffs a laugh. “Castiel, always trying to protect your dearest Dean.” She makes a creepy smile.

“What do you want?” Castiel says dryly.

“Don’t talk to me like that.” She sounds really pissed off. “You two always seem to forget what you actually are. You are slaves. And I am one of your masters. You should show me more respect or I will have to punish you, and this time, you will watch each other suffer.”

Dean and Castiel glare her. Dean is clenching his fists and Castiel is biting the inner of his cheeks to avoid saying anything else. They have to be very careful; there’s no need for another punishment. Jo has been really annoyed and pissed off since Dean threatened her with telling Crowley what she liked to do with Dean in her bedroom, and Jo is dying to let that anger and that frustration in a punishment. And that’s something that neither Cas nor Dean wants to go through.

When Jo sees that neither Dean nor Castiel is going to speak, she smiles and she keeps speaking. “Tonight it is Thanksgiving. Dean will be the one who prepares the music and Castiel will be the one who decorates the table with the accurate flowers, so you will be having dinner one hour before than usually in order to do your tasks and then you will go to your bedroom because my father, me and Gordon don’t want to be disturbed, understand?”

“Understand.” Dean and Castiel say at the same time.

Jo nods and she leaves the bedroom, closing the door. Then, Dean locks it again. “I fucking hate her.” Dean says angrily.

“Me too.” Castiel agrees.

“How is it that you celebrate Thanksgiving?”

Castiel takes a breath. “The Brown Lands were known since the Romans, but it was a poor land, difficult to cultivate and people didn’t like the weather too much. There were a few people, but not too many, enough to control the Roman’s maritime market. Europeans started to immigrate in the 16th century and they started to turn the Brown Lands into a country that seemed more like Europe. Then, in the 18th century Americans immigrated here and they brought the Thanksgiving tradition and they decided to celebrate the day when the Europeans arrived here in the 16th century. It was a way for the Americans to feel less nostalgic about home and thank the Europeans the colonization of the Brown Lands.”

“Your story is weird and boring.” Dean says with a done face.

“You asked.” He laughs. “It is a stupid celebration here. It is just a copy from your Thanksgiving, but it is exactly the same. The same food, the same spirit and that crap.” He explains reluctantly.

“I guess we won’t see turkey.” He pouts. Castiel shakes his head. “Awesome…” Dean looks down and then he looks at the alarm clock. It is a bit late. “How about if we shower together?” He suggests with a smirk.

“Wonderful idea.” Castiel says smiling and grabbing Dean’s hand.

The rest of the day goes like always. Breakfast, work, lunch, work and then, suppertime, although today suppertime it is one hour before than usually. There isn’t anything special for dinner to slaves, there are breaded chicken fillets with some salad. When they finish, Castiel and Dean, along with another other slaves, start to prepare what they have been ordered to. Some women prepare the tablecloth, the cutlery and the silk napkins. Meanwhile, Castiel is placing in a vase several flowers, most of them are orange lilies but there are some marigolds flowers too. Orange it is a really thanksgiving color and Castiel wants to remark it with the flowers. Dean smiles when he sees how dedicated Cas seems to be with the flowers; he really loves plants and he knows a lot about them and he enjoys them. Castiel catches Dean’s eyes and he blushes a little before going back to the flowers. Dean is searching for a record; Jo didn’t say which one she wanted, she left it to his choice. Knowing Crowley, he would like something jazzy, so Dean picks a Louis Armstrong’s record.

Before they leave, Crowley arrives to check if everything is fine. It seems that everything is perfect by the way he looks at the dining room with a satisfactory smile. He nods and that means that Dean and Castiel can leave. The women slaves will have to attend the table and serve Crowley, Jo and Gordon.

Castiel and Dean walk fast to their bedroom, like they always do and once they are in, the door is closed and locked, they kiss desperately and passionately. It is always hard to go through the day without being able to kiss or to touch. Luckily, today they had to wait an hour less, but it still seemed an eternity, their hungry kisses and touches show it.

“I really wanna fuck you tonight.” Dean says with a sexy voice.

Castiel bites Dean’s lower lip “You do?” He teases and Dean smiles in a naughty way.

“Yeah, I do.” He kisses Castiel again, as if he wanted to leave both of them breathless.

“Shouldn’t we brush our teeth first?” Castiel inquires without moving away his mouth too far from Dean’s. He doesn’t mind Dean’s breath, but he doesn’t like feeling his own teeth with food, he is sure that Dean doesn’t mind his breath either, but Castiel would rather have his teeth brushed.

Dean makes a funny grimace. “Can you wait that time?” He teases. He steals another kiss from Castiel, who smiles in the action.

“Yes, I can. It will be only a few minutes.” He murmurs. Then, he goes to the bathroom, followed by Dean and they brush their teeth. They do it as quickly as they can, staring at each other’s reflection in the mirror, smiling in an eager and hussy way.

When they finish, Dean, who was the first one to finish, kisses fiercely Castiel, who laughs against Dean’s mouth; his boyfriend is really eager and passionate. He can’t blame him; Castiel is like that too. He has never been like this with anyone before, but of course, all his life has changed since the bedroom door was opened that summer night and there was Dean. A stranger in the night who has become Castiel’s boyfriend, the love of his life and all those cheesy and sappy things he has in his head and that if he lets out, Dean would laugh his ass off, although lately Dean has been saying things like that.

Almost instantly, they are on the bed; Castiel lying down in the mattress and Dean above him, who takes off their boots and their socks really fast. When it comes to get naked, Dean is extremely fast, he has more experience than Castiel, and his hands go precisely where they have to go, wasting no time on the clothes, he likes to spend the time touching Castiel’s skin, kissing it, not in the stupid clothes. And so Dean does, he takes off the clothes with precision, gently and arousing, touching the skin, kissing Castiel’s lips whenever he can, meanwhile, Castiel touches too, he loves Dean’s strong arms and the curves of his back, and also, Dean’s short light brown hair. Castiel likes to feel beneath his hands Dean’s movements, how those muscles under his warm and freckled skin move, driving him crazy little by little, until it is all madness and arousal.

Dean’s hands play with the waistband of Castiel’s boxers, sneaking his hands slowly, and Castiel makes a cute laugh, a one that Dean has to taste in a kiss. Dean’s hands take off the underwear, the only piece of cloth left to be taken off, as Castiel rocks his hips, shaking his legs slowly, helping Dean to take them off. After that, Dean’s hands caress the inner of Castiel’s thighs, feeling the sensitive skin, making Castiel to moan slightly; this always drives him crazy, his hungry hands starts to travel down Dean’s thighs too, from where they join with Dean’s ass, until almost the back of Dean’s knees. Dean smirks and kisses Castiel again, but this time he gives him a tongue kiss, so both of them open their mouths widely, so their tongues can swirl together easily. All of this is like fire and they don’t know how they don’t get burn, how the fire intensifies and it runs their bodies, from their heads to the tips or their toes, spreading its warmth everywhere.

Dean’s mouth starts to go down slowly and Dean doesn’t take his eyes off Castiel, he loves seeing him like this, with his mouth parted, breathing heavily because Dean makes it impossible to breathe properly and seeing his eyes dark, only leaving a small circle of blue around the pupils, how that sea meets the forest one more time, how that sea shows love, anticipation, passion, need and want, and Dean swears he loves that fucking sight and those too fucking blue eyes too much. So Dean keeps going down with his kisses, skipping the black leather collar, without taking his eyes away from Castiel, rocking his body, feeling Castiel’s hard cock against his. He is going to keep kissing him for a while, teasing him, seeing how Castiel enjoys this as much as Dean does. His mouth keeps moving until it arrives at the nipple, where Dean sucks and licks, until he feels it hard, making Cas to moan, to tight his grip in Dean’s hair, arching his back and saying Dean’s name in that sweet and sexy voice that kills Dean so sweetly.

After his small touring, Dean goes back to Castiel’s mouth and he strokes Castiel’s sides and then, his hands arrive once again at those soft and delicate thighs and Castiel pulls away from the kiss to gasp for air, but soon, his mouth meets Dean’s one more time and Castiel believes that Dean’s mouth was made for his; it is so easy to kiss, so satisfying, so perfect.

Both of them hate it when Dean breaks the kiss to look in his package bag for the lube. They keep it there, just in case, they would leave it in the drawer, the one in Dean’s bedside table, the bedroom is safe, but when they are out, anyone can get in the bedroom, and it isn’t a good idea to keep lube there. They talked about it before, and although they hate the fact of not having it within reach, it is the most cautious.

Dean squirts the bottle and the lube falls into his hand. He spreads it in his hands and in his cock and Castiel looks at him with a teasing smile and biting his lower lip. Dean smirks at him as he keeps spreading the lube and Castiel starts to rock his hips, turning Dean on more and more, who is kneeling with his legs in between Castiel’s and he can feel Castiel’s cock. When Dean is done, he kisses Castiel fiercely and he gets one of his fingers inside Castiel, who smiles happily and rocks his hips, asking for more and Dean gives it, so soon, the second finger gets in. Castiel moans and rocks his hips harder, feeling how Dean is touching him inside. Dean’s fingers go further until they touch his prostrate and Castiel moans in a pleasurable way. Another finger gets in and Castiel has to embrace Dean by his back to hold himself, because his spine is curving; Dean’s fingers are extraordinary, like everything on him, Dean is fucking extraordinary. Castiel closes his eyes and he parts his lips, gasping for air, asking for more of Dean, who keeps looking at Castiel, who has never been this opened before with anyone; he has only be it for Dean, and he can’t tell how much he loves knowing this.

Finally, Dean presses another finger in and he scissors them, opening Cas as much as he can. Castiel meanwhile keeps moaning, louder and louder as the time passes and Dean’s fingers keep touching him in that marvelous way. He needs more, he needs Dean’s cock, he needs to feel completely full.

“Dean—” Castiel starts to say. It is always too difficult to talk when they are like this. Dean’s name it is so easy to say, it comes out without trouble always, but saying any other word, that’s when trouble comes. Castiel can’t think properly and much less speak, air seems to be scarce in his lungs and his tongue seems useless except for saying Dean’s name or using it in a kiss. Finally, he manages to say some words. “Dean, fuck me already. I need it. I need you. Please.” He says needy and desperate.

When Castiel opens his eyes, Dean is smiling happily and kisses him again, half sweet, half passionate. Dean takes out his fingers of Cas and he cleans his fingers quickly and soon, he gets his cock inside of Castiel, who moans in a relieving and satisfying way; Dean is finally removing completely that awful emptiness, filling him with warmth and Castiel smiles and looks at Dean. He cups his face and he kisses him in a lovely way, feeling Dean’s smile. They are so close, but both of them need to be closer, until it is only skin against skin.

Cas has to pull away when Dean starts to fuck him in sweet but intense thrusts, rocking his hips with Castiel’s finding a rhythm together. Dean starts to kiss Cas’ jawline and Castiel caresses Dean’s back, smiling as Dean keeps fucking him, tightening his legs around Dean’s waist, curling his toes, arching his spine, tilting his head back on the pillow and enjoying Dean inside him, fucking him and kissing his jaw.

Dean tours with his hands Castiel’s sides, without stopping kissing him, without stopping the rock in his hips, fucking Cas, trying to hold himself in Cas, because damn it, he is fucking him, and Cas is so warmth and so tight that Dean can’t understand how he is all together, because this is too much and he is willing to give and take everything Cas needs, wants and gives.

Soon, his cock touches Castiel’s prostrate and Castiel moans Dean’s name loudly. One of these days someone is going to hear them, but right now, Dean doesn’t care, and neither does Cas. Dean hearing how Cas moans his name is fucking awesome. Feeling him like this is fucking awesome; he would come just from hearing Cas. Dean starts to pant and he looks at Cas, smiling as he moans, and Dean thrusts harder, colliding their hips, sending electric impulses to their limbs. Castiel moans louder and he nails Dean’s back and fucks into Dean’s cock, asking for more and Dean is willing to give him what he asks for.

Castiel moans again when Dean touches that wonderful spot. He feels how Dean’s hands are almost everywhere, touching him and Castiel is about to lose it, but he wants to keep feeling this for some more moments. His cock itches with the need of coming, but he wants to feel Dean touching that place again, so he rocks his hips and Dean fucks him with a hard thrust, touching that place again, making Castiel to moan again loudly and he comes, making an orgasm. His whole body tightens at first, but then it relaxes and surrenders to Dean’s.

“I’ve got you Cas. Fuck, I’ve got you. I’ll always got you.” Dean says.

Castiel can’t answer him right now, but he runs his fingers through Dean’s hair, slowly, but a bit desperate. His eyes are closed, his mouth is parted, feeling the pleasure that Dean has given to him. He can hear his heart beating, damn it, he can even hear the blood pumping in his ears. There are starts crashing behind his eyes and everything inside of him is warmth and pleasure. Soon, Dean comes too, making an orgasm too, feeling what Cas just felt. Dean presses his forehead against Castiel’s murmuring something into his mouth. No one of them are sure if they are words or what, but it still feels awesome. Castiel holds him and he mumbles something, he doesn’t know what it is, he doesn’t know if Dean understands them, but he can feel Dean’s smile.

Dean is about to get out of Castiel, but Castiel speaks. “Dean, no.” He says needy. Both of them open their eyes slowly, seeing that their eyes are still dark, there are so close that their eyelashes touch. “Stay a little bit longer inside of me, please.”

“Sure.” Dean says with his sexy but sweet voice, the one he always has after sex. He doesn’t get out of Cas and he turns his head, so he can rest it in the crook of Castiel’s neck.

Castiel places his hands on Dean’s hair and he starts to pet it. He knows he is going to feel sore tomorrow after having Dean inside of him for so long, but it is worth. He loves when they are like this, joined only in one body, unknowing where their bodies start and finish. He loves how the emptiness in inexistent and how warm and tight Dean is.

“I love being inside of you.” Dean mumbles. He sounds as if he was a bit drunk; well he is drunk by Castiel’s smell, and body and his wonderful and addicting warmth. He nuzzles Castiel’s neck before kissing it. “I could stay like this forever.”

“I wish you could.” Castiel says. He takes a deep breath and he leans his cheek on Dean’s head. “There’s no emptiness in me when you are inside of me.” Words come easy. The heat of sex is in them, both know it, and it makes them speak like this. It is a maddening feeling, but it feels great.

“You feel alive.”

“I do.”

Dean starts to caress Castiel’s shoulder and he nuzzles again his boyfriend’s neck. He inhales sharply, his lungs are still looking for air, not as needy and desperate as some moments ago, but they still are craving for it. “Fuck, Cas, this is making love, not having sex.”

“Aren’t they synonyms?” He asks confused. He feels Dean’s smile on his skin, something he will never get tired of ever.

“They are. But the meaning is different.”

“I don’t fully understand it Dean.”

Dean moves his head so he can look directly at Castiel’s eyes. He searches with his hands Castiel’s and he holds them. It feels more intimate than usually, it might be because of the rapt they are still feeling, or because Dean is still inside of Cas; they don’t know, but it feels like that. Dean kisses him softly before he speaks. “Sex is more casual. Making love is more like we do. Like closer, more personal, I don’t know how to describe it. Shit, I sound as if I were stoned.” He blushes a little bit.

Castiel laughs and he kisses Dean. “I think I know what you mean.”

Dean nods and kisses Cas again. “Cas, I’m sorry, I’ve gotta—”

“I know.” He says a bit sad, but there’s still sweetness.

Dean hates as much as Cas does to get out of him, but Dean can’t be like that forever, he would love it, but his body is aching and Castiel’s is it too. So Dean gets out and he lies next to Cas. Dean takes an exhausting breath and he looks at Castiel. He tours his body with his eyes; Castiel looks so calmed and quiet, the only movement in his body comes from his chest, which moves up and down with his slow breathing. He looks at that gorgeous body once again, wanting to kiss every single cell of it again. If they had the whole night to them and if they didn’t have to wake up early, Dean would do it.

Instead, Dean opens the drawer and he picks the toilet paper and he starts to clean both of them. “Let me clean our mess.” Dean says as he wipes the come from Castiel’s body. Castiel smiles as Dean cleans him and he starts to purr. “Do you like this?”

“I like anything that involves you touching me.” Castiel confesses with a perky smile.

Dean laughs and he kisses Castiel sweetly. Then, he keeps cleaning Castiel. When he is done, he lies aside and he starts to caress Castiel’s chest and Castiel, places his hand on Dean’s hair, petting it slowly. Dean’s hand keeps touching Castiel’, from the chest to where the curly black hair of his groin starts to appear. “Y’know that I love you, right?”

“Of course.” Castiel says looking at Dean’s eyes, which are moving through the same path as his hand. “And I love you too.” His hand combs Dean’s hair for a moment in a lovely way.

Dean smiles and his eyes meet Castiel’s. “I know, Cas, I know.”

Castiel gasps when Dean’s hand goes downer than before, touching his cock slightly, making Dean to smile shamelessly. “Do you want me to come again?”

“Maybe.” He confesses teasing with his hand and Castiel moans lowly. He kisses Castiel’s lips tenderly as his hand goes up to his boyfriend’s chest. “You are lasting a lot awake tonight.” He murmurs impressed. Usually, by this time, Cas would start feeling sleeping and he would fall asleep in just a few minutes.

“Guess that I’m getting used to come.” An almost unnoticeable red shade appears on his cheeks. Dean smiles widely and he kisses Castiel, darting out his tongue, tasting his lower lip before biting it softly. Castiel rolls to his side, so he can face Dean and kiss him properly and he cups Dean’s face, feeling the stubble down in his fingertips. “Dean.” Castiel says in between the small break. “Dean.” He repeats in another break. A name so simple, but he loves saying it. “Dean.” He says again. 

Dean approaches his body to Castiel’s, helping himself by gripping Cas’ hips, leaving no space, and Dean starts to rock his hips slightly, feeling the length of Castiel’s body in his, feeling their skin touching, sensing the warmth and the sweat. Dean makes circles on Castiel’s hipbone and with his other hand, he places it on Castiel’s head, pushing gently Castiel to himself, and Castiel has to place his hands on Dean’s blades.

“You really know how to leave me breathless.” Castiel says panting.

Dean laughs and it is a wonderful sound. “Well, you know how to too.” He presses a small kiss on the tip of Castiel’s nose and Cas squeezes it and smiles. “I must admit this has been the best thanksgiving of my life.”

“Mine too.” He kisses Dean again.

Dean stares at the deep sea of Castiel’s blue eyes. He really likes to sink and drown in that ocean, to let that tide take over him and let him feel better than in his whole life. Dean smiles in a lovely way and he kisses Castiel, with all the love he has for him, showing him what words can’t say. When he pulls away, he stares again at that sea made of sapphires; there’s happiness in Castiel’s eyes, but there’s something that Dean can’t tell, like a bit of sadness or something, he doesn’t know, but his eyes are glassy. Suddenly, Castiel cups Dean’s face and approaches himself even more to Dean. They are looking directly at each other’s eyes, seeing their reflection, and Dean is a bit confused about this.

“Dean.” Castiel starts to say. He sounds needy and a bit broken, as if he was trying to hide his pain. Dean holds him, afraid of what Castiel is going to say, as if he was going to break in million pieces after saying what he wants to say. “Promise me that you won’t leave me, that we will be always in the same bed, making love, that you will always kiss me like that, that you will always look at me in that way, that you will never get tired of me, that you will always be with me, that we will make love until we lose our minds and that we will always cuddle after that, that you will always love me.”

Dean looks at him confused. There’s a strange feeling inside Dean right now. He doesn’t know why Castiel is saying all of that. Those too fucking blue eyes are looking at him, showing a bit of fear, a bit of sadness, a bit of pain, a bit of doubt, and Dean doesn’t understand why exactly. “Cas.” Dean starts to say with a confused voice. “I will never leave you. I will always love you.” He says. “Why would you—”

Castiel closes his eyes and he presses his forehead against Dean. “I—” He takes a deep breath and he tightens his grip on Dean’s face, as if he was afraid of losing him and falling apart. “I don’t want to lose you.”

“You aren’t gonna lose me. And if you lose me, you better kick my ass and get me back to you.” Dean says convinced. Castiel laughs and he opens his eyes. Now Dean is the one with that sight showing his fear, his pain, his confusion and his sadness. “I don’t want to lose you. I don’t want you to lose me. Of course I will do all those things always, I will make you love, I will cuddle you, I will look at you, I will kiss you, I will make you smile, I will love you, Cas, I will do all of that and more, and fuck, I will never get tired of you. I love you Cas, I love you so fucking much.”

Castiel kisses him in a nostalgic way. “I love you too.” He buries his face in the crook of Dean’s neck. “Sorry, I—” He inhales sharply. “This seems too perfect that sometimes it seems unreal.”

Dean doesn’t know what to say to that, so he only places one of his hands on Castiel’s hair and the other one strokes Castiel’s back. Castiel embraces Dean and then, he presses a small kiss on Dean’s neck, just right above the black leather collar. In a few minutes, Castiel falls asleep and Dean switches off the lamp and he covers both of them, being very careful, he doesn’t want to wake Cas up.

When they are covered and surrounded by the darkness of the room, Dean doesn’t fall asleep; he thinks about Castiel’s words. He would do anything for him, Dean knows it, he would give his whole life for Cas. He is deeply in love with the man sleeping in his arms. Cas is his everything. Dean will never leave him, he would hate himself if he ever hurts him or causes him any kind of pain; Dean will never forgive himself for that.

Dean sighs and he presses a kiss on Castiel’s head, tickling himself a little with the almost black hair of Cas, then he looks at him and the words Cas said are repeated in Dean’s head. As he remembers them, he realizes that he can only do that when they are in this bedroom, that he can’t touch, cuddle, look or kiss Cas outside this bedroom. How are they supposed to keep what they have only in this bedroom? Dean can’t imagine the fact of he and Cas living their life together in this house, only able to live the few hours they have for them in the bedroom. He shakes his head. It isn’t time to panic right now, he had a wonderful night with Cas and now it is time to leave his mind in blank and fall asleep.

And surprisingly, Dean falls asleep easily.

When the alarm clock rings, Dean turns it off with his usual anger and Castiel makes a smile against his skin. Dean cuddles with Cas, like he always does every morning, until Cas decides to get up from bed.

“Good morning.” Castiel says kissing Dean.

“Morning to you too.” Dean says with a smile. It is so easy to smile when Cas kisses him.

Dean presses Castiel against his body and Castiel laughs, then, he starts to stroke Dean’s feet with his. “Did you sleep well?” He asks as he kisses Dean’s jaw.

“Yeah. You?”

“I did too.” He moves so he can stare at Dean’s eyes, which are almost closed. Dean always takes his time to open them; his eyes are a bit sensitive to the morning light. Castiel kisses him passionately and then, he starts to get up.

“You are leaving bed so soon.” Dean complains with a morning voice.

Castiel laughs softly. “You know what happens if I linger more in bed.” He arches one eyebrow and Dean rolls his eyes. Castiel   
stirs Dean’s hair before he gets up.

Dean looks at Castiel as he gets up and walks towards the wardrobe. Dean wishes they had their own wardrobe, their own bed, their own house with everything they needed, that they were in a place where they could linger in bed and they could make love as long as they wanted to, hearing Castiel’s laughter echoing the walls, warming Dean’s heart, kissing all the time.

When Castiel looks at Dean’s eyes, he sees there’s love in them and something nostalgic. He smiles at Dean; he loves when Dean looks at him as if Castiel was the most wonderful and extraordinary person in this world, as if Castiel was the whole universe for Dean, something that Dean truly believes.

“Cas.” Dean says as he sits on the bed.

Castiel turns his face to look at Dean. “Yes, Dean?”

“I’m gonna get us out of here.”


	34. Planning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm updating a couple of hours before than usually because I'm not sure if I'll be able to post the chapter at my usual hour. So I'd rather post it before than delay it.
> 
> As always, thank you so much for reading, for your wonderful comments, the kudos, the bookmarks and the subscriptions :)

Castiel looks shocked at Dean. He sounds extremely serious. He means what he is saying; getting them out of this house. Dean must have gone insane or something, but he hasn’t look this serious before and Castiel right now is impressed, shocked, confused and trying to analyze what he just heard.

“What?” Castiel says incredulous and approaching Dean, who is sitting on the bed.

“I’m gonna get us out of here.” Dean repeats. The voice is as serious as before. He really means it.

Castiel sits down on the bed, looking at Dean, trying to find something in Dean’s face or in Dean’s eyes that tells him that Dean had a delirium, but there’s no trace of that. Dean is being serious about getting them out of here. “Dean, how is that possible?”

“It is.” Dean says. He frowns confused before he asks “Don’t you want to get out of here?”

“Of course I want to Dean!” He sounds a bit insulted and Dean seems to look sad. Dean wasn’t implying anything; he just didn’t understand why Cas looked so incredulous. “Sorry, I didn’t want to yell at you.” He apologizes guiltily. He looks down and he bites his lip ashamed.

Dean caresses Castiel’s arm. “Don’t worry Cas.” He leans and he kisses Castiel’s shoulder. “You don’t think it is possible, right?” He looks at his boyfriend’s eyes.

Castiel sighs. “I don’t know Dean. I’ve been a slave during 16 years. I’ve tried to escape, to run away, but I never found a way. There are a lot of complications.”

“I know. But now there’s a main difference.”

“What difference?”

“This time, you aren’t alone in this.” He says. Castiel’s eyes seem to soften a little bit. “Cas I—” Dean takes a deep breath and he rubs his face. “I don’t want us to stay here. We should run away from here and live our lives together, free, without having to hide what we have.” His words sound powerful and strong. “I’m sick of having to hide here, to not being able to kiss you whenever I want to. I can’t even hold your hand for fuck’s sake. I want a whole life, not this life we have here, if you can call it life.”

“Dean, I want that too.” He says devastated. He wants everything Dean wants; he wants to be with him, living his life as a free man, without having to hide their relationship. “But how is that possible Dean? Don’t give me false hopes because I’ve already had a lot during my life and the only things those hopes did to me was to burn and hurt me until I was only ashes and blood.”

“There has to be a way.”

Castiel shakes his head and he looks away from Dean’s eyes. “You are talking nonsense.”

“I’m not.” Dean gets out of the bed and he kneels in front of Cas, so he can catch his sight. Cas wants to believe him, but he has been a slave for so long that he has lost his hopes. “We have to try.”

“Dean, this isn’t about trying. If we fail, you know how it is going to end up like. We are tortured and then we are killed.”

“Then, we’ll have to be very cautious.”

“Dean, damn it!” He says. He takes a deep breath and looks up. He can’t look at those hopeful green eyes, but Dean stands up and he cups his face, so their eyes can meet and Castiel can’t turn away from that gaze.

“What are you scared of?”

“Losing you.” He says breathy.

“I told you last night. You aren’t going to lose me.”

“Dean.” He places his hands on Dean’s and he caresses them. He closes his eyes for a moment and he takes a deep breath. When he opens his eyes again, they burnt and they are glassy; some tears are trying to get out from his eyes. “Nothing here is easy. Nothing good happens here.”

“We are together. That’s something good.”

Castiel smiles. “That’s something extraordinarily good.” He says. Dean smiles too. “I don’t want to spend the rest of my life here, you know that. I want to get out with you and spend the rest of my life with you, in your house, in that place where you told me you lived.”

“Sioux Falls.” Dean reminds him.

“Sioux Falls.” Castiel repeats with a sad smile. “But—” He inhales heavily, looking at the huge green forest of Dean’s eyes. “What about the collars? How do we get to Sioux Falls? How do we get out of the house? What about—?”

“Cas.” Dean interrupts. “We’ll talk about this tonight, okay?”

Castiel sighs. “Okay.”

Dean leans and he kisses him. “Take your shower. I’ll be making the bed.”

Castiel nods and he picks his clothes before he gets in the bathroom. He can’t take out of his mind what Dean just proposed. Getting out. Running away. Living together far away from the Brown Lands. It sounds wonderful and perfect, Castiel knows it, but it seems insane and impossible. He wants to believe that there is a way out, he wants to hold himself in that dream, in that hope of escaping and having a proper life, but Castiel knows that when you are a slave, dreams and hopes aren’t for you, they fade away the moment you have to wear the black collar. They don’t disappear instantly, hopes and dreams burn you slowly and they consume you, until you are only flesh, until doom comes to you.

But nothing of that happened when he fell in love with Dean. When that happened, he dreamt and hoped, something that he thought he was never going to be able to do ever again, and here he is, being Dean’s boyfriend. Maybe there is still a place for him for hopes and dreams. But he isn’t sure. He doesn’t want to end up hurt again. He wouldn’t mind if he didn’t have anything to lose, but he has someone very important; Dean. And Castiel doesn’t want to see Dean devastated and broken and much less, he doesn’t want him to get hurt. He doesn’t want Dean to throw himself into the pit of darkness or to lose his life.

The morning and the afternoon go like always, but neither Dean nor Castiel can stop thinking about the idea of running away. This is serious; they are going to talk about it once they are in their bedroom. Dean wants to get out; he can’t stand the idea of being in this house, of spending his life and Cas’ here. It can’t be like that. Castiel want to get out so bad, as much as Dean, but he doesn’t know how. It sounds insane, but everything with Dean is insane.

After suppertime, they go to the bathroom and their brush their teeth together. They are really serious and they don’t say a word. Practically, they haven’t talked too much today, they have been busy with their thoughts and they didn’t know what to say or what to talk about.

“We need to discuss all of that.” Dean says when he spits the blend of toothpaste and water.

Castiel does the same after Dean. “I know.” He says. “Let’s sit on the bed.”

Dean nods and he and Cas go to the bed. Dean takes off his boots and Castiel does the same, then, Dean sits with his legs crossed and Castiel mirrors him; it usually happens, they mirror each other unconsciously, and when they realize about it, they just smile.

Castiel rubs his face and then, he asks. “Okay, how do you plan to escape?”

“We have to plan it.” Dean says.

“So you don’t have any idea about how to do it.” He says with a dry sassiness.

Dean grunts and he looks up annoyed. “Don’t be like that, Cas.”

“Sorry it’s just that—” He takes a deep breath and Dean’s eyes go down until they meet Castiel’s. “Never mind.”

“Tell me.” Dean insists sounding sweeter than he should.

Castiel swallows. “I don’t want you to have false hopes and see how they consume you.” He confesses with pity.

“That’s why we are gonna talk and discuss this. If there isn’t a possible way out, then I’ll accept this crappy life and let it go.” He sounds serious, but Castiel knows that Dean is half lying.

“You will always keep looking for a way out, Dean. I know you. You never give up. You are a fighter.” He makes a small proud smile.

Dean looks down and he chuckles. “Yeah, probably.” He tilts his head up when he says it. “I want to fight for having the life we deserve, Cas. I know you want to too, but you don’t want to get any of us hurt. I can’t blame you for that.” He explains honestly. “But you know me; I’m a reckless son of a bitch.”

“Always having such a great impression of yourself…”

Dean punches him and Castiel laughs. “Shut up asshole.” He grunts. Castiel smiles. “I think there is a way to get out. But it is going to be hard.” He starts to say. Castiel is about to say something but Dean interrupts him. “Don’t you dare to say the word impossible.” He warns with his eyebrows raised. Castiel chuckles. “The main problem is the black collar.” He says as he touches it. The leather is cold under his fingers. “We have to get rid of them. And I guess that the only way for that it is to use Jo’s finger.”

“Or Crowley’s.”

“Yeah, I’d rather not get Crowley involved in this.” He says with a cautious grin.

“And how are we supposed to convince Jo to use her print in order to take off the collars?” He sounds sassier than ever.

Dean glares him. He is a bit done with that tune. “Could you please stop with the sarcasm and the sass?”

“Sorry Dean.” He hates being like this with Dean, but everything sounds incoherent and insane and Dean doesn’t seem to see it. Castiel rubs his face. “All of this sounds crazy.”

“It is crazy.” With that, Castiel frowns confused and he tilts his head, like he always does when he doesn’t understand what Dean means. “And it is going to be crazier. But you gotta trust me Cas, and you gotta listen to me.”

“I trust you and I’m listening to you, Dean.” He bolds every word. He holds one of Dean’s hands and he caresses it. “But I want to make you see how this is insane. You can’t just take the collar off. You have to force Jo to take it off, and that isn’t something simple.”

“I know.” Dean simply says. Then he takes a deep breath and he cups Castiel’s face. “I want you to be honest with me Cas.” He starts to say. His voice shows insecurity and his eyes are a bit glassy. “Do you really want to get out of here?”

“How can you doubt that?” That question Dean asked hurt Castiel. He wants to get out, he wants it more than anything. He wants that life Dean and he dream about. He wants to grow old with Dean as free men.

“Then why do you seem to be so skeptical and shunned about this?”

“Because this is something huge Dean! It is like you wanted to jump out of a cliff and expect to get out alive of it!” He yells furiously and desperate. His eyes are glassy and his face is sad.

Dean pinches the bridge of his nose in an exhausted way before he looks at Castiel. “If I told you to jump off that cliff with me, will you do it? Even if you knew we were gonna die together?”

Castiel rolls his eyes. “Don’t give me the romantic speech of if you jump I jump.”

“Just answer the question.” He says ignoring Castiel’s words. “Would you jump with me?”

“Yes.” He answers. He loves that man too much that if Dean jumped from a cliff, Castiel would jump with him. He knows it. He is so scared of it, but he knows he would do it, without thinking it for a second. And he knows Dean would do the same. If Castiel asked him to jump, Dean would do it. It is scary how much they love each other that they would go to the end of the world together if only one of them asked about it. It is madness.

“This is the same.”

Castiel takes a deep breath and he closes his eyes. “I know.” He tightens his hand on Dean’s.

“Cas, look at me.” Dean says. Castiel doesn’t hesitate and he opens his eyes, seeing Dean’s. “It is fucking scary, I know. But, do you want to wake up in this bed one day and wonder what would have happened if we had tried to run away? Do you want to regret the idea of not giving it a shot? It can end up good or bad, but we have to try it to know it. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life wondering what would have happened if we had tried?”

Dean sucks with words, both of them know it, but there are times like this, when Dean’s words are accurate and they change everything, when his words touch Castiel in an unexpected way. Castiel exhales calmly. “Okay.” He says. “I’m going to jump the cliff with you, assbutt.”

Dean makes a tiny smile and he kisses Castiel’s forehead. He takes a relieved sigh. “Okay.”

“So what do you have in mind to take the collars off?” Castiel asks.

“I think that has to be the last thing done. We have to do something to Jo so we can use her finger.” Dean explains.

“You aren’t talking about cutting her finger out, right?”

Dean makes a disgusted look. “Do you think I am a barbarian?”

Castiel rolls his eyes and puffs a laugh. “Of course not.” He makes an obvious look. “But I don’t know what we can do to—” He cuts himself off to make a thoughtful face.

“What?” Dean inquires.

“Well, we can drug her so she can fall asleep and be unconscious.” He purposes with a pout. Dean looks at him impressed; he didn’t thought about it. “But I don’t know where we can get any sleeping pill.”

“The supermarket.”

“Yes, but we can’t buy drugs. Jo gives us an amount of money and she always checks the ticket to see if there was bought something that shouldn’t have. We would need to buy it apart, and we don’t have any money.”

“But I can steal it.” Dean says. Castiel opens his eyes widely and his mouth is parted a little. He is shocked by Dean’s words.

“First of all, where are you going to steal money from? And second, are you insane?” He sounds shocked and a bit pissed off.

Dean smirks. “I like how you first asked where and then you asked if I was insane.”

Castiel rolls his eyes and then he glares Dean. “Answer me and stop with that cocky and proud face of yours.”

“So hot when you are pissed off.” Dean says biting his lower lip. Castiel would love to smile and kiss him right now, but this is a serious conversation, so he just keeps his glare and he arches a brow. “Jo has a safe box.” He starts to tell him. “It is in her bedroom.”

“And how are you supposed to open it?” Now there isn’t sassiness in his voice, it is more like curiosity.

“I know the password.”

“How?”

“The night she used the dagger on me.” He explains. “When I woke up in her bed, I saw her pressing the number 5938. She didn’t realize that I was awake and I could see her. I saw she had a lot of money, a gun and the dagger.”

“Do you think she hasn’t changed the password?”

Dean makes a calculative grin. “I don’t think she has. Nobody has stolen her, so there’s no need to change it.”

Castiel grimaces as he thinks about it. Then, he takes a deep breath. “And how are we going to get in her bedroom?”

“I’ll do it. It isn’t the first time I steal something.” He smirks and he blushes a little. Castiel dedicates him a funny look. “We’ll need a lot of money.”

“Yes we will. Not only for the sleeping pills. If we get out of here, we will need money to eat and to buy tickets to go to USA.” He reminds him. There is a lot of to plan and it is being really rushed, but they have just started. This is going to take them a lot of time and they have to take care of every small detail. “Back to stealing her money; you will have to take it during the afternoon, because during mornings, her bedroom is always being cleaned and the first floor is always with slaves. You can’t be seen.”

“I know. Fuck, I remember what Jo did to you because she believed you stole that fucking apple.” Remembering that night makes Dean’s heart ache. He swallows with difficulty. “I’ll have to do it quickly and when no one else is around.” He adds. Castiel nods. “By the way, are there microphones in the bedroom?”

“Don’t you think if there were microphones Jo would have appeared here when we first make out?” He sasses arching a brow.

Dean chuckles and then he punches Castiel’s arm softly. “You are a little sassy shit.”

“You love me.” He smiles sweetly.

“Yeah, I do.” He confesses. He leans to kiss Cas. It is shortly but sweet. “Well, another question, are there any GPS or beeper on the collars to locate us?”

Castiel shakes his head. “No.” Dean frowns confused. “Dean, once you wear a black collar, everything you do it is limited. You can’t buy in a supermarket unless you show the card of the family you belong to. And much less to go anywhere all by yourself without that card, and you can’t buy anything outside a supermarket even if you show that card. You are fucked up if you wear a black collar, so there’s no need to put any GPS or beeper. If you scape and you are wearing a black collar, sooner or later you will die.”

“Awesome…” He rubs his face. “The main problem is the fucking collar. We have to drug Jo, use her finger print and the collar will be taken off. But if we don’t wear a collar, we can get caught and sold, right?”

“Right. That’s what happened to you.”

“Yeah, I know.” He drums his knees with his fingers for a while until he speaks. “And where can we buy white collars?”

“We can’t.” He says. Once again, Dean’s brows knit together, showing the frowns of confusion. “Only people with white collars can buy it. If you have a black collar or if you aren’t wearing any collar at all, you can’t buy it. But I think there is an exception if you buy it on the internet if you live outside the Brown Lands.”

“I don’t think we can do the last thing…”

“But we can steal two collars from Jo.” He says with a satisfying voice accompanied with an intrigue smile. Dean looks at him impressed but curious. “Jo has a lot of collars, she must have like twenty something. So she can use one of them matching with her clothes. Some of them are more feminine, you know, the fringe is narrower, but the rest of them look like the standards ones.” He explains.

Dean smiles proudly. “That’s the Cas I know.” He says making his boyfriend to blush. “I guess that she must have it in one of the drawers of her boudoir.” He murmurs.

Castiel shrugs. “I don’t know that. But I have seen her wearing different collars. We can use them.”

“But we will need her fingertip to unlock them, right?”

“There’s no need to that. White collars aren’t like the black ones. The white collars can be reset by a button they have. They are easy to open. The difficult and complicated ones are the black collars.”

“Good. So we have to steal money and the collars. Then we will have to hide all of that in the secret stash where the books are.” Dean explains looking at the wardrobe.

“Yes. It is the safest place. No one except us knows about its existence.” He smiles brightly and Dean mirrors that gesture. “We have a few things; here comes another question, how do we get out of the house?”

“We will have to do it during the night.” He answers. He makes a thoughtful grimace before he keeps explaining his idea. “During night everything is quiet and everyone will think that we are in our bedroom.”

“I agree. But we will have to escape during the night and we will have to drug Jo during that night too. And don’t forget about Crowley.”

“We will have to run away one of those days where Crowley isn’t here; when he is in that city he has his energy plant.”

“In Hayes.” He specifies. Dean nods. Castiel takes a deep breath and he scratches his cheek as he analyzes the situation. “Crowley must be out of the house. Okay, we drug Jo, we get rid of the black collars and we will have to find the key that opens the fence.”

“Jo carries it with her all the time, right?”

“Right.” He takes another deep breath. “After drugging her, it will be easy to pick the key. But you know that we can’t run away on foot, right?”

Dean makes an obvious look. “Of course I know it. That’s why we are gonna steal one of Crowley’s motorbikes.” He makes a bright and happy smile.

“I’m starting to think I’m dating a thief.” Castiel sasses with a cocky smile.

Dean laughs. “Nah, I’m not a thief Cas. But I stole your heart.” He says with a ridiculous voice. That was too cliché.

Castiel starts to laugh really loud and his face is starting to turn into red. “You are an assbutt.”

“I am.” He confesses with a soft laugh.

Castiel cups Dean’s face and he kisses him. Dean is his assbutt. He will always be his assbutt. “I love an assbutt.”

“And I love a sassy and sarcastic little shit.” They smile and they kiss again; sweetly but passionately.

“Okay, so we steal a motorbike. Doesn’t it have a beeper?”

“Some of the cars and motorbikes have it, but I know a few of them that don’t. We will take one of those motorbikes.” He answers. Castiel nods impressed. “The thing is that I don’t know where the fuck we are exactly and how to get to the port.”

“I know how to. I know the map of the Brown Lands perfectly. Maybe some things have changed, but I know how to get to High Port.”

“Yeah, High Port was the name! Aren’t here any other harbors?”

“There are. But High Port is the one where people from America come. The ones from Europe go to Sandy Port.” He explains. “And I must tell you that High Port is quite far from here. We are in the southeast part of the Brown Lands, although it isn’t the most south, we are close to the middle, but High Port is in the northwest.”

“It is going to take us along time to get there.” Dean murmurs sounding unhappy.

“And we can’t go through the main highway. We will have to go through the small roads that go across the small towns. Once we get out of here, Jo and Crowley will look for us. We will be safer if we avoid the main highway. It will take us longer, but we can’t take any risk.”

Dean looks at Castiel’s eyes and he nods. “Yeah, you’re right. If we are gonna do this, we have to be very careful and cautious.” He drums with his fingers his knees again and he looks down, trying to remember if there’s anything left on this hurried plan. “And you know how to get to High Port through the long path?”

“I do.” He says with a tiny smile. “I’ve got another question.”

“Shoot.”

“How are we going to get in the USA without passports? Yours was taken in the slave market and I never had one. We don’t have any documents showing who we are, and I’m sure that USA doesn’t let people in easily.”

“Fuck, I didn’t think about that.” He says shocked. Cas is right, without passports or any document showing who they are, they can’t leave the country. Holy shit, this is a huge setback. “Without passports, we can’t get into the boat.”

“We can.” Castiel says. Dean looks at him as if Cas had gone insane. Castiel makes a tiny smile. “As long as you have a white collar, you can leave the country by boat or plane. If you have a white collar, it means that you aren’t dangerous. That’s the passport in the Brown Lands. They don’t ask you for a passport when you leave the Brown Lands, they ask for it when you arrive to any other country.”

“This country is fucking nuts.” Dean says with his eyes opened widely. “That’s nonsense; you could have a white collar and be a fucking terrorist.” He says confused. How on earth can that be possible? Just because you are wearing a white collar you can leave the country without any problem. Everything in this country makes no sense, but what can Dean expect from a place where slavery exists and people believe it is something wonderful?

“I didn’t make the rules in this country Dean. But it works like that. If you have a white collar, it means you are free, you haven’t done anything wrong, if it wasn’t like that, you will be wearing a black collar.”

Dean rubs his face confused. “Okay, it is nuts, but it means that as long as we are wearing a white collar, we can get out of this fucking country.”

“Exactly. The problem is getting in the USA.”

“Well, with my fingerprints they can see I’m from the country.” He says thoughtful. He looks at Castiel, wondering how his boyfriend is going to enter in the USA. He can’t be an illegal immigrant, USA hates that. But there’s an option. “You can ask for political asylum and then, you can ask for the citizenship.”

Castiel’s eyes shine brightly with that idea. “I can. That’s right.” He puffs a relieved laugh and he looks at Dean. “So that’s all right?”

“For now it is.” Dean says smiling. “It is gonna take us a long time, Cas, but we are gonna do this, right?”

“Yes.” Castiel says as he cups Dean’s face, approaching it until they can see each other’s reflection in their eyes. “We are going to jump that cliff together and we are going to get out of here to have a wonderful life together.”

Dean smiles brightly and he kisses him. “Fuck, I’m so happy to hear you saying that.” H confesses.

“It is insane, but I love you Dean, and I want to fight with you to get out of here, to have that wonderful life I never expected to have.” He kisses Dean needy and Dean holds him tightly, gripping him by the small of his back.

“I love you too, Cas.” He steals a small kiss from Castiel’s lips. “We are gonna get out. We are gonna run away. We are gonna live in Sioux Falls, in my house, our house, and we are gonna live happily together.” 

It sounds like a dream. Dean knows he shouldn’t be hoping so much of this, they have only planned it, they haven’t done anything yet, but there’s anticipation in both of them, because they are going to escape from this nightmare. They know there are a lot of risks, that anything can go wrong, this is the Brown Lands, if something bad can happen, it will happen. They don’t know how this is going to end up like, but for the first time in their lives, they see a light at the end of this tunnel. It is really far, it will take them a lot of time to get there, but they are together and they will keep carrying on and walking, like they have been doing, until they arrive to that light. And once they reach it, they will know if jumping off the cliff it is going to go well or bad. They will only find it out when they get there.

But now, they want to hold each other to that hope and let themselves dream about that light; dream about all those things they have tried to avoid in order not to get burnt by false hopes, but now, those hopes are real, and they are closer than ever; they are still far, but not like before. Maybe Dean and Castiel are dreamers, maybe they are two fools in love who can’t see all the danger of this escaping, maybe they are two idiots looking for that life they have always wanted, but no one can blame them for trying. They have to fight, and damn it, they will waste all the energy in their hearts and in their souls just to get that piece of freedom and happiness. They can’t stay in this place anymore, they need to run away and have everything they can’t have because of that stupid black leather collar on their necks.


	35. Fear of Losing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, for the kudos, for the comments, the bookmarks and the subscriptions ^^

“Seriously, why it has to sound so freaking loud?” Dean complains as he turns off the alarm clock with his usual coup. Dean can feel Castiel’s smile on his neck; the bastard always finds really hilarious Dean’s fighting against the alarm clock. Every day it is the same routine. The alarm clock sounds, Dean coups it to turn it off followed by a grunt, a sarcastic comment, a swear or with a complaining, like this time. And Castiel smiles or laughs, it depends on how awake he is.

“You know that even if you almost smash it against the bedside table, it is still going to ring every single morning, right?” Castiel says sassily. They have just woken up and Castiel’s sassiness is fully loaded.

Dean grunts at first but then, he kisses him in a teasing way, and both of them smile at it. “If you woke me up instead of that fucking thing, it would be better.” He suggests as his fingers play with the collar of Castiel’s t-shirt.

“Something has to wake me up, but if I could I would gladly wake you up.” He starts to say. His hands sneak under Dean’s t-shirt, feeling the warm temperature that Dean’s body releases. He is like a heater. “Do you want to be woken up with something like this?” He asks as his hands keep touring Dean’s chest.

“Oh yeah. Although you could go downer.” He can’t help his cocky smirk and he arches a brow.

Castiel laughs and he kisses Dean sweetly. Soon his hands arrive to Dean’s crotch and he strokes it slightly. It could be a harder and more arousing touch, but Dean seems to enjoy it too much; he even moans in the kiss. Castiel’s hands have been always very good when it comes to touch Dean’s body, but lately, they have been awesome. Castiel knows where to touch or press to make Dean moan and he has improved since the first time they started to be together, now it is really easy and extremely pleasurable.

“You’ve got some sneaky hands.” Dean says in the kiss.

Castiel smiles because of the compliment. Then, he moans when he feels Dean’s fingers touching him in the crotch. “You too.” Castiel laughs.

“How about we shower together?” Dean prompts in a hussy voice.

“You can’t shower by yourself?” Castiel teases. Yesterday they showered together because Dean decided to get in the shower with Cas right before he finished making the bed, and of course, Castiel welcomed him there and they had a proper way to greet the morning.

“Yeah, but it is more awesome if you are with me. Besides, if we shower together, we save water.” He says trying to sound serious, as if he was giving an important speech, but the teasing voice is there, even if he tries to hide it.

“Now you care about the environment?” He arches one eyebrow. He is willing to take his shower with Dean, but he loves teasing Dean, who is always teasing him whenever he can, so Castiel has to seize any small chance he gets to jeer Dean.

“Oh yeah, I’m an eco-guy.”

Castiel laughs loudly in a hilarious way and Dean looks at him with lovely eyes, smiling brightly, fuck, that sound, that face, it is all fucking gorgeous and so happy and Dean has to kiss him to feel it echoing in his own body. “You are an assbutt. I’m in love with an assbutt.” Castiel says nuzzling Dean’s nose. “Come on, let’s go to the shower.” He says as he starts to get up.

Dean gets up from the bed faster than ever; knowing that he and Cas are going to the shower together, it puts him in such a good mood and it is the best thing to get him out of bed. Castiel laughs again, in the same way he did moments ago, because he knows that Dean always lingers in bed and it seems that he is glued to it, but this morning, the idea of showering together, it made him almost jump out of bed. Definitely, his boyfriend is one of a kind and an assbutt, but Dean is his extraordinary assbutt.

They pick their clean clothes and then, Dean holds Castiel’s hand and they walk fast towards the bathroom, both of them smiling widely; they have been in a really good mood since they talked about escaping from the Harvelle’s house. The hopes and the dreams of what escaping would mean, if they ignore all the risks and all the dangers, it makes them be really happy. They haven’t started yet, it has been only two days since they planned the main details, and they have to wait for the best and the accurate moment to do the first parts of it, like stealing the money or the white collars; nevertheless, they are feeling really happy.

They take off their clothes without any trouble at all; they have done this several times and it comes easy. Then, they get into the sower, with their laughs breaking the silence of the bathroom, smashing gently and soundly against the walls, giving the room a wonderful sound, followed not so late by the sound of the falling water, falling into their bodies and into the bottom of the bathtub.

Dean places his hands on the small of Castiel’s back, pulling him closer, leaving no space between their bodies, he hates when there is any space left in between, even if it is only a few inches, and they kiss in a needy, desperate, passionate and fiercely way. Castiel’s throat makes a moan and he runs his fingers through Dean’s wet hair. They rock their hips slowly, rubbing their hard cocks, feeling their arousal. When they pull away from the kiss, they look at each other’s eyes, which are half-closed, they know what both of them have in mind, so they kiss again and their hands start to go down, until they have them on their cocks, they grab them together, fisting their hands on both cocks and they start to jerk off together, rubbing their cocks, moving at the same speed, changing the angles, feeling how their cocks are touching, how they are doing this together, and damn it, it feels fucking awesome.

Breathing starts to be something difficult. The heat increases, the hot water would have to do something with it, but what makes that heat and warmth increase, it is what they are doing, how their hands don’t stop, how they go up and down, how the grazing is intense, how depending on the speed and the way their wrists turn, the feeling and the pleasure intensifies. They look at each other during the whole time, kissing when they can, panting and parting their lips or biting them, moaning, without stopping their hands, feeling both cocks.

Soon, both of them come and their bodies relax, they have to close their eyes and let the sounds out of their throats, feeling each other’s sounds and panting against their mouths. When the rapt seems to start to fade away, they look at each other again, with that satisfactory smile and they kiss again. After that, they decide it is time to take a shower, in the proper sense of the word.

The rest goes like usually; after the shower, they get dressed and they go to the kitchen to have breakfast, but before they open the bedroom’s door, they kiss, because they won’t be able to do it until they get back there, just after suppertime.

As they are having breakfast, the sounds of Jo and Crowley yelling joins the usual sound of the kitchen, until every slave goes quiet and they listen carefully to the muffled voices of their masters. It is hard to understand most of the words because they must be arguing in a room a bit far from the kitchen and its door must be closed.

The yells are really muffled, but there are some words like ‘ _shame_ ’, ‘ _stupid_ ’, ‘ _duty_ ’ and ‘ _angry_ ’ than can be heard perfectly. No one of them knows why Jo and Crowley are arguing, but it seems that Jo has screwed up something or that she has disappointed her father. Dean knows that father and daughter sometimes get on well, but there are times like this when their relationship is tense and difficult. Dean has learnt that Jo doesn’t comply with some aspects Crowley expects from her, so they argue. But lately, arguments have been something usual and their relationship is getting worse and more fragile and delicate.

A door is opened and everyone hears the sound of the smash of it. That sound has rumbled around all the house and Dean is sure that it could have even be heard from the garden. He looks at Castiel, who arches his brows in a tense way before he meets Dean’s eyes.

“This isn’t good.” Castiel whispers. The sound in the kitchen it is still almost nonexistent.

“Thanks for the observation, Sherlock.” Dean says sarcastically, also whispering. It seems that the usual sounds of the kitchen, the chatter and the sound of cutlery, are coming back.

Castiel kicks Dean’s leg softly. Dean complains and Castiel takes a deep breath. “They have always argued, but since this last month, arguments have been more and more frequent.” He takes a sip of coffee. He is right; Jo and Crowley haven’t argued as often as now. It isn’t strange the morning or the night when their yelling can be heard, but today has been a more intense argument.

Dean makes an uncomfortable grimace. “What must be going on between the two of them?”

Castiel shrugs. “I don’t know. Why do you ask?”

“I just want to be prepared for their reaction.” He bites his toast and he chews it.

Castiel frowns in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“You know how they are. I wouldn’t be surprised if they let out all that anger and frustration with slaves.” He explains making an obvious look.

“I don’t discard it.” He sighs. “I don’t know about Crowley, he is unpredictable, but Jo…” He feels a shiver running down his body and he looks at Dean. Jo wants Dean for her; if she is going to do something painful to a slave to let out all her anger, it will be Dean. Castiel wishes he is wrong and he wishes that Jo doesn’t do anything like that to Dean; he had enough with the punishment he went through after threatening Jo with telling Crowley about what happened in her bedroom.

“Hey.” Dean says with a half worried and half sweet voice. Castiel’s eyes focus on Dean’s. “It’s gonna be okay.”

“You don’t even believe that.”

“Yeah, I know.” He rubs his face and he sighs. He would love to embrace Cas, hug him tightly, trying to take away all his fears, but Dean can’t do that in the kitchen; he can’t even hold his hand and caress it fondly. “But we can’t do much against her.”

“I hate that.”

“Me too, Cas.” His eyes are a bit glassy and he has a sad smile drawn on his lips. That would be a perfect moment to kiss him. If only they weren’t there with all those slaves…

Nothing unusual or different happens during their routine. It is the same old thing, working until it is time for lunch, then more work, and finally suppertime arrives. For suppertime, there are chicken nuggets, the ones you can find in the frozen section in any supermarket, and coleslaw. It is pretty tasty and Dean really likes it, especially the chicken nuggets. He misses food and cooking. If everything goes well and he and Cas succeed on running away, he will be cooking at home again, and Cas will taste everything he cooks. Dean smiles imagining Castiel’s face when he tries Dean’s food. Dean isn’t a great cook, but everyone said his food was really good, and after eating this ranch food, Castiel will surely like Dean’s food. The food in the house isn’t bad, but there’s nothing like a homemade food, cooked by yourself.

The next morning arrives and Castiel keeps thinking about Jo hurting Dean. Maybe nothing goes wrong, Castiel wants to believe that, maybe he is just being a bit paranoid, but he has a bad feeling about all of this, and he isn’t sure why exactly. He looks at Dean, with his worried eyes and he sees his boyfriend is spreading some butter on his toast. Castiel can’t take away his worries and he hopes this bad feeling isn’t anything at all.

During the morning, everything goes like usually, without any incident. During lunch, the yells of Jo and Crowley can be heard again, muffled, but it seems that they are more pissed off than this morning. This isn’t something good; one of them is going to explode and it isn’t going to be pretty. No one knows what’s going on, but it can’t be something good, it has to be something important. Castiel and Dean look at each other, with expecting but upset eyes; Dean has a bad feeling too.

But like what happened after breakfast, the only thing that happens is someone slamming the door and an immense silence follows it until all the slaves decide to keep with their usual chatter. Everyone knows something terrible is going on with their masters, but no one wants to talk about it; it is better to pretend that they ignore it, that they haven’t heard the heated arguments of their masters; one thing people with white collars hate is when a slave gossips about them. That’s worth a punishment and no one wants that.

The afternoon seems to go as normal as the morning. Castiel is removing the fallen leaves of the trees. Orange, yellow and red are the colors of the death in different shapes of leaves. All the trees in the garden are deciduous, so most of the garden is covered by those fallen leaves. There are some of them that still remain in the branches, fighting against the nature, but soon, they will face their destiny; death will come for them and they will fall, leaving space for the next leaves that will appear when spring comes. Castiel has to remove them because Jo doesn’t want them covering the grass or the pavement stone. If this garden was Castiel’s he would leave them, not only because it makes the garden look like one of those scenarios from a fantasy book, because leaves should remain in the grass and die in the garden, enriching the ground, becoming part of the nature once again. He knows it sounds silly, but he can’t help wanting that.

Suddenly, Castiel hears the engine of a car and he turns his face to look at the garage. He sees that Crowley is the one driving. Dean, meanwhile is outside of the garage, waiting for Crowley to leave, which doesn’t take too long. When the fence is closed after Crowley leaving with his car, Castiel walks towards the garage. Dean sees him, so he waits there until he arrives.

“What is it, Cas?” Dean asks curious. He can tell by Castiel’s eyes that something bothers him.

“Was he too angry?” Castiel asks. His voice sounds worrier than it should.

“Yeah, pretty much.” He answers. They look at the closed fence and Dean sighs. “He was pissed off. He didn’t do anything to me or insult me, but the way he talked I could tell he was really pissed off.” He explains as he turns to stare at Castiel’s eyes, which are now worrier than before.

“What did he tell you?”

“He was leaving. You know he doesn’t give any explanations to slaves.” He puts some sass in the last sentence and he smirks in an acid way. “Cas, what’s wrong?” Dean asks upset.

Castiel sighs. “If Crowley was pissed off, I don’t want to know how Jo is.” He starts to say. “And I’m worried that she might hurt you.” He looks down and he catches Dean’s hands and he holds them. Castiel knows how Jo is; he is almost sure that she is going to let all her anger out by punishing Dean. He knows it and he doesn’t want her to hurt Dean. Castiel can heal Dean, but the idea of seeing him all bloody, all hurt, in so much pain, he can’t stand it.

Dean kisses his forehead. It is a fond and long kiss, a kiss to make Castiel feel more relieved, and it works more or less. It relieves him a little, but he still has those fears. “Maybe she doesn’t do me anything.” He whispers in a calm and sweet voice.

Castiel puffs an acid laugh. “Don’t be so naïve.”

Dean pulls his hands away from Castiel’s grip and he cups his face. This is really risky. They aren’t doing anything too striking, but those touches aren’t accepted for slaves, but Dean doesn’t care. “It’s gonna be okay.” He starts to say. Castiel is going to complain, but Dean keeps talking. “I’ve been to that punishment room several times, I’ve suffered a lot, but I can hold it Cas.”

Castiel turns his sight away from Dean’s eyes and he makes an incredulous look. Dean is again telling him that everything is going to be okay and Castiel knows that it isn’t. “Am I supposed to feel better by those words?” He looks again at the eyes made of forest that he loves too much. “Am I supposed to feel better knowing that she is going to hurt you?”

“No.” Dean says honestly. “I would be so fucking worried if I were in your place.” He takes a deep breath.

“Then?”

“I don’t know.” He simply answers. “But worrying isn’t gonna do you anything good, you know it.” He strokes with his thumbs Castiel’s cheeks, which are a bit red because of the low temperature. “All I can do is to tell you that it is going to be okay.” He leans to kiss him, but Castiel stops him.

“Dean— we can’t, you know that.”

“Fuck it. There’s only us.” And he kisses him tenderly.

Castiel should stop him, this is risky, they are outside the garage, someone could appear, but he wants to lose himself in Dean’s lips, to feel better by that kiss, so he doesn’t pull away, he kisses his boyfriend back and he gets lost in Dean’s mouth, like he always does, without caring about the risks.

“Get back to work, Cas.” Dean murmurs. His eyes are worrier than before. “I’ll see you at suppertime.”

“All right.” Castiel simple says.

They work in their respective places of work until suppertime arrives. That’s when Castiel goes back to the garage to find Dean and go together to the kitchen. Castiel is still worried about what Jo can do to Dean, who seems to be a bit bothered about the idea. He can hold the pain that Jo causes him, but he would rather not go through the punishment.

They finish their dinner and when they are almost in the doorstep, Castiel’s fears come to life when Jo appears out of thin air, like she always does, and she uses the stun gun against Dean, who passes out immediately and Castiel holds him to avoid a hard fall.

“Release him!” Jo yells. She is really pissed off. Castiel hasn’t seen her this furious ever. It isn’t the best moment to confront her, but Castiel can’t stay still, watching how Dean is dragged to be punished.

“No.” Castiel says. He glares her and he tightens Dean in his arms, as if he could protect him from everything with that.

Jo grunts and she squats. “I’m not in the mood to go through this, Castiel.” She starts to say, remarking every single word with the anger that it is running through her veins.

“Let him go. He hasn’t done anything.” He sounds calmed and angry. He is it, but there’s some fear in him, the fear of Jo hurting Dean in really painful ways. But Castiel isn’t going to let her see any of that.

“Always protecting you charming prince.” She smiles in an angry and creepy way. “What has he done to you, Castiel? What has Dean done to make you be this stupid and reckless?”

Castiel could give her several answers, like Dean showing him what love is, or making him smile, or lightening up his life, or giving him a reason to keep living or any of the wonderful things Dean has done to him; but Castiel isn’t going to tell her any of that, first of all because that would mean the end of everything for them, and second, because that’s something he keeps in his heart and he only shares it with Dean. So Castiel glares her and he says: “He has made me a person.”

Of course, Jo doesn’t like that answer at all. She grabs Castiel’s face with one hand and she claws her nails in his cheeks painfully, but they don’t bleed. Castiel tightens Dean and he glares Jo, who makes a disgusted grimace. “I liked you more when you were a good slave. You didn’t respond, you did everything you were told and you didn’t give any trouble, like a good little slave.” She nails him a little bit more, being more painful. “He is mine, Castiel. You are mine. And you are my slaves. Nothing more. Don’t try to get cocky because if you two keep being like that, this is going to end up bloody for the two of you. I’m the one who has the whip. I’m the one who can make you suffer more than ever. I can make your lives even more miserable. I can take him away from you one way or another, and you know it. I can punish him all nights, until he is only broken bones and a dead body. I can take away that smile. I can take away the light of his eyes. I can do more than you think Castiel. I could punish you, yeah, I could, but Dean is your weakness, you like him, he makes you feel special, right? I can turn Dean into a dead body, and he won’t be the same ever. Do you want that?” She waits for Castiel’s answer. But Castiel doesn’t answer. He keeps glaring her, but his eyes show devastation and fear, mixed with all the anger he is holding. He knows that Jo is capable of that and more, and he doesn’t want her to do any of that to Dean. “See? When I say something about hurting Dean, you go still. He means a lot to you. You care about him too much. He is your biggest weakness Castiel, and you are so obvious about it.”

There is a pause. Jo releases her grip on Castiel’s cheek and she looks at Dean, still passed out, and then, she looks at Castiel, who doesn’t know what to do. Jo’s words have marked him painfully. He knows they are in the worst place, they are going to lose in any case. It doesn’t matter whatever they do, Jo has the power, and she can do whatever the hell she wants to.

“Let him go.” Jo says. “Now!”

Castiel hates himself for this. He has been in this same situation too many times, but every time he lets Dean go of his arms, almost handing him to Jo, he feels hurt and sick. Every time Jo uses the stun gun with Dean, Castiel tries to help Dean, to rescue him from the nightmare he is going to live, but it always ends up in the same way; Jo wins. Castiel releases Dean, and Alastair grabs Dean by Jo’s command and he starts to carry him. Castiel walks away from the kitchen, without looking back and he goes to his bedroom. The walk of shame. He closes the door and picks everything he is going to need to heal Dean.

“Forgive me, Dean.” Castiel whispers and he sits in the floor, bending his knees and pressing his face against it. “I hate not being able to help you.” And he starts to cry.

 

When Dean wakes up, he is in the punishment room. He is like always, feeling dizzy, with blurry sight, his chest is bare and he is hanging because his wrists are tied to a rope that it is tied to the ceiling.

Castiel was right, Dean knew it deep inside of him; Jo was going to punish him to let her anger and frustration out. Dean is her favorite toy and that idea sickens Dean. Well, at least she isn’t going to do anything sexual, or it seems that she isn’t. Dean can’t be sure. Jo is quite predictable, but when she gets really mad and furious, she gets psycho and dangerous.

“Answer me, Dean.” Jo says as she starts to walk. She has the whip on her hands and she is stroking it sweetly. “What have you done to Castiel?”

Dean frowns in confusion. “What are you talking about?”

Jo gives him a cold glare and without any hesitation she uses the whip on Dean’s belly. “You know what I’m talking about. About how he always tries to protect you, to help you, to do anything just to avoid me hurting you.”

Dean looks down. Cas is always fighting for him. He doesn’t want this bitch to hurt him. He knows how devastated and frustrated he must be feeling right now, knowing that he couldn’t do anything for Dean. Cas might not fight for himself, but he will always fight for Dean. Always.

“I told you to answer me!” Now the whip hits one of Dean’s sides and it hurts to feel the whiplash hitting the ribs.

“I didn’t do anything!”

Another whiplash; this time on Dean’s chest. “Don’t lie to me! Do you think I am stupid?” She hits him again, on the same spot. Dean grunts softly, trying not to let out any scream or any painful sound out of his mouth. “You know what Castiel told me when I asked him what did you do to him?” Her voice sounds derogatory. “That you made him a person!” Now her voice is all disbelief.

Dean smiles proudly. That’s his Cas. But when Jo sees his happy smile, she uses the whip again, hitting Dean’s bottom lip, which starts to bleed easily. Dean doesn’t completely remove his smile from his face; it isn’t as marked as before, but he still has it drawn. He glares at Jo.

“I hate how you two look at each other!” She screams furiously. She walks until she is facing Dean’s back and she starts to hit it with the whip, reddening it, leaving bruises that let Dean’s blood out and it starts to run down, hurting Dean painfully. “Why do you look at each other like that?!”

Dean would have said _because we are in love_ if he wasn’t where he is and the person asking the question wasn’t Jo. Dean shuts his eyes in a hard way, squeezing his eyelids. He is clenching his teeth, holding all the painful sounds inside of his throat. Jo keeps punishing him with the whip, yelling at him.

“I hate you two! I hate my father! I hate I can’t fuck you! I hate my father for trying to control me as if I still was a little girl! I have how disobedient you are Dean!” She yells.

Dean stops listening the words and he only hears muffled sounds, except the sound the whip makes every time it hits his back, tearing his skin, revealing his blood. The sounds coming from the whip are really loud, or they seem to be. Dean can’t hear clearly Jo’s yells, he only hears a confused version of it mixed with the sound of the whip.

She keeps doing all of that for some minutes, although for Dean it seems like an eternity. Jo has let out all her anger and frustration by hurting Dean, until his back was a red massacre, until she could see that her anger was perfectly drawn on Dean’s body by herself. She unties Dean, who falls down as if he was an extremely heavy load. He is exhausted. Jo leaves the room, as fast as always, leaving Dean all alone and hurt, trying to catch his breath and to find the lost strengths just to make it back to the bedroom.

After a while, Dean stands up, before picking up his t-shirt, shirt and jacket, and he starts to walk towards the bedroom. The long path he always makes after the punishment. He walks in slow and short steps, trying not to fall down. He feels dizzy and every single step he takes feels exhausting; he just wants to arrive to the bedroom now.

When he opens the bedroom door, Castiel stands up from their bed, almost jumping and he runs towards Dean. “Dean.” Castiel says with a broken voice. He cups Dean’s face with one of his hands and he strokes it. Dean can see Castiel’s eyes are red and glassy. He has been crying. “Dean.” He repeats. “Let’s heal you.” He puts one of Dean’s arms around his shoulders and Dean locks the door before they start to walk towards the bed. When they are sitting on it, Castiel kisses Dean’s head, placing his hands on Dean’s temples and Dean places his above them. “I tried to—” He starts to say with a broken voice.

“I know Cas. She told me.” Dean says in a murmur. “And I know what you told her.” He tilts his head up so he can see Castiel’s eyes. “I’m so happy and proud of that.” He smiles widely.

Castiel’s tears appear in that moment and he tries to hold them by moving his eyes up, but he can’t. Dean looks at him sadly. Castiel takes a deep breath, he closes his eyes and he removes with his hands the tears from his eyes and his face. Then, he sits down, next to Dean and he cups his face, pressing their foreheads together. “She told me awful things.” He starts to say. He is looking at Dean’s eyes. Then, he tells Dean what Jo told him while Dean was unconscious. When he finishes, he closes his eyes and takes a needy breath. “I don’t want to lose you, Dean.”

“You aren’t going to lose me, Cas.” Dean says as he starts to pet Castiel’s hair.

“We need to get out of here soon. She is going to keep hurting you and I can’t do anything and I—” But he is interrupted by Dean’s kiss. It is a needy and warm kiss, with a little taste of blood because of Dean’s bleeding lip, but it is still a great kiss.

“Cas.” Dean starts to say with a calm voice. “We gotta be patient. You told me this wasn’t going to be easy and we both know it, it is gonna take time.” He places his hands above Castiel’s tangling their fingers. “We can’t take any risk, we can’t make mistakes, we’ve got to be cautious. I know that it is fucking hard, but we have to hold on and carry on, like we always do.”

Castiel nods and he kisses Dean. “Sorry Dean, it’s just that I hate being unable to do anything and I hate seeing you like this.” He sighs and closes his eyes. “I love you too much. And I hate the idea of someone hurting you and not being able to avoid it. You are the most important person in my life, Dean, and I can’t stand the idea of anyone hurting you and torturing you and punishing you, I can’t, Dean, I can’t. I just want you safe with me, I just want you happy with me, I just want a proper life for us.”

“We’ll have it Cas.” He says. He understands perfectly everything Cas has just said. Dean thinks and feels like that. He can’t stand the idea of Cas being hurt and he wants for both of them a good and a safe life. “It will take time, but we’ll have it. I promise.”

Castiel opens his eyes. “I’m so scared of losing you.”

Dean kisses his forehead. “I know. I’m scared of losing you too, Cas. But we are gonna stay together, don’t worry. Nobody’s gonna take me away from you. I love you, you know it and I know you love me too.”

Castiel kisses Dean, slowly but fondly. Then, he removes the blood on Dean’s lip with a soft stroke of his thumb and Dean makes a tiny smile. “I have to heal you. Turn, please.” He says and Dean does it.

Castiel starts to clean all the wounds from the back, he will heal the ones on Dean’s chest and side later. Dean has more wounds on his back than in any other place. Castiel cleans it with the wet cloth, slowly, like he always does, trying not to cause any pain at all to his beloved Dean. Once again, Dean’s back looks hideous and some of his beautiful freckles are gone. There is too much blood, too many wounds and Castiel hates it. His Dean, his poor Dean. He wishes he could just heal Dean completely by a single touch of his fingers, take all his pain away with a single touch.

Antiseptic comes after the cleaning and Dean seems to relax when Castiel applies it. It is a really relieving feeling, it makes the sore and the burn feeling fade away slowly and it feels pretty good.

“I don’t know what I would do without your wonderful antiseptic.” Dean says.

Castiel smiles and he kisses Dean’s neck, just where Dean’s back starts. “It’s not wonderful.” He says smiling against Dean’s skin.

“Yeah, you are right. It is fucking wonderful and awesome.” He says happily. Castiel can’t see his smile, but he can hear it in Dean’s voice.

Castiel lets out a small chuckle and he kisses the same spot he kissed before and then he keeps healing Dean’s back, applying the antiseptic and then, putting the bands with some tape, to avoid them from falling off. After that, Dean turns and Castiel starts to clean the wounds on his chest and in his side. They don’t say anything; Dean looks how Castiel takes care of him with observant eyes and Castiel keeps healing Dean carefully. When he is done, he collects everything and he leaves all the supplies in their right places.

Dean starts to take off his pants, socks, boots and he puts on a t-shirt. Castiel switches off the light and he gets in bed with Dean. He holds him tightly and Dean buries his face in Castiel’s neck and he places his hands on Castiel’s waist.

“I’ll never be able to thank you enough what you do to me, Cas.” Dean says breathy.

“You don’t have to thank me anything Dean. You have done enough for me a lot of times. And I know you will do a lot for me in the future.” Castiel says.

Dean smiles and Castiel loves feeling that grin on his skin. “Of course. And you’ll do a lot for me too.”

“Without a doubt.” He agrees smiling. Dean raises his head, letting Cas see his smile in the darkness. They kiss in a lovely way and then, Dean places his head where he had it before. “Sleep, Dean.”

Dean falls asleep easily; he is really tired after the punishment, but slumber takes longer to reach for Castiel, because he still feels bad about what happened to Dean, for the frustration and the impotence. He only hopes that everything will finally go well and they can get away from this nightmare and live together, without fear, without pain. That’s everything he wants.


	36. Alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you so much for reading, for the kudos, the comments, the bookmarks and the subscriptions :)

Castiel kisses Dean in a desperate and needy way. Dean embraces him by the small of Castiel’s waist, pulling him closer as they kiss. They are about to leave the bedroom to have breakfast, so they kiss in that fervent way, tasting their lips and their mouths, enjoying the last kiss they will have before they go back to the bedroom. It is lasting more than usually, but no one of them is complaining about it. They have a long day ahead, a long day without kissing or touching, and they have to seize the occasion.

Dean takes a needy breath when they pull away. “Wow. That was breathtaking.” Dean recognizes impressed.

Castiel smiles in a too fucking cute way, happy to know that Dean enjoyed the kiss. Then, he looks at the door and then back to Dean. “You know what comes now.” He sounds sad.

“Yeah.” He moves his hands away from Cas, feeling the immediately loss of warmth, and he slides de latch, unlocking the door, and Dean opens it.

He and Castiel go to the kitchen, like every single morning. Most of the slaves are already there, and like always, when Dean and Castiel get inside the kitchen, those slaves give them sick and judging looks. Naturally, Castiel and Dean ignore them. Every single morning it is the same old shit and they don’t want to waste any second of their times caring about that people.

Not so many minutes before Dean and Castiel start to have breakfast, the kitchen goes quiet; Jo has arrived. She looks too fancy today. She always dresses as if she was going to a wedding or to an important meeting, but today she is better dressed than usually. She doesn’t say anything until she sees that every single slave’s attention is on her.

“My father and I will be out of here for two days. I don’t want any mishap.” Jo looks directly at Dean and Castiel when she says the word mishap. Then, she looks at everyone when she keeps talking. “While we are out, you must keep doing your tasks. In case that anything happens, Alastair is the one in charge, and he will inform me from everything. Be good and nothing will happen to any of you when I come back.” She gives a challenging look at everyone, although it intensifies when that look is directed to Dean and Castiel, and then, she leaves.

Dean looks at Castiel a bit terrified. He isn’t sure how to take this. “Has this ever happened?” Dean asks in a whisper.

Castiel nods. “It isn’t usual, but sometimes Crowley takes Jo to meetings and things like that.” He explains. Then, he looks at Dean’s eyes and he notices that he is calculating something. “Are you—?”

“Not here.” Dean interrupts him with a cautious sight. He knew what Cas was going to say. Castiel nods and he keeps looking at Dean, who has a calculative face. After a while, he sighs. “Okay.” He drinks the remaining of his coffee and he stands up. Castiel does the same. They leave the kitchen and they walk through the hall that leads to the garage. They don’t take the path outside of the house anymore because the door is locked because winter is here and it is fucking cold, so Jo tries to leave the house as warm as possible, which means closing the door and the windows, so Castiel and Dean have to take the hall to go to their respective working places. When they are in the garage, Dean closes the door and he approaches Cas, so he can whisper to him. “If they are leaving before suppertime, I’ll steal the collars and the money. You told me that it is only during mornings when there are people in the first floor, right?”

“Right.” Castiel says whispering too. “I think she doesn’t lock her bedroom door while she is out of the house, because when she has been out, slaves could clean her bedroom.”

“Good. Good.” He looks at the door, just in case that someone decides to get in the garage. “I’ll keep thinking and planning this carefully as I work. We’ll talk later.”

“Okay.” He nods and he caresses Dean’s shoulder, it is a short gesture, but it is a warm one. Then, he leaves the garage to go to the garden.

Almost in the half of the morning session, Crowley and Jo arrive to the garage. Neither father nor daughter looks very happy, they look angry and a bit pissed off. Lately, their arguments have decreased a little, like the volume of their yells, but they are still arguing. All the slaves know it, but they don’t say a word about it. Everything is tense. The last time, Crowley went out of the house and that lead Dean to suffer his daughter’s anger in the punishment room. He appeared the next day, almost at suppertime, since then, it seems that they had tried to avoid each other, because every time they were in the same room, they argued.

No one of them say a single word to Dean, of course not, he is just a fucking slave. But Jo looks at him for some seconds, with her eyes filled of lust. It last only a few seconds, enough time so Crowley can’t catch her, but that look sickens Dean. He really hates Jo and her hypocrisy.

Soon, father and daughter leave the garage in the Mercedes, going down the road that joins the garage to the huge and fancy door of the fence, and then, the car moves until it disappears from Dean’s sight. He is going to seize this occasion; he doesn’t know when Jo and Crowley are going to be out of the house. This is the perfect chance to steal the collars and the money.

But he will have to wait after at least one hour has passed since lunch. Everybody will be busy with their jobs, so Dean can sneak into Jo’s bedroom and take everything he needs. The main problem is going to be Alastair. Dean doesn’t know what Alastair has to do now that he is in charge. Dean is sure he will have new tasks, and maybe he will be very observant. Alastair is Jo’s bitch, and he will do anything just to get more privileges.

Castiel arrives to the garage at his time. He and Dean greet each other, smiling like they always do. Then, Castiel leans his elbows on the hood of the car and he looks at Dean. “Have you planned… you know?” Castiel starts to say murmuring.

“Yeah, I have.” Dean says as he cleans a wrench. “I’ll go to her bedroom after an hour or so has passed since lunch.” He approaches Castiel a little bit more. “I need to ask you something.”

“Ask.”

“Alastair is in charge, right?” He starts to tell. Castiel nods, without taking his curious eyes of Dean’s. “Does that mean he is spying everyone, or…?”

“Not exactly. He has to do his tasks, but he will keep an eye on everyone. Be careful, he hates you, and after the few things you have done to him, I’m sure he is going to try to give you trouble.”

“Yeah, the son of a bitch is gonna try to find any excuse to screw me up.” He rubs his face and he walks towards the table, where the tools box is placed.

“Are you sure about this?” He has walked until he was standing next to Dean, who turns his face to look at those worried blue eyes. “I don’t want you to do something if you aren’t sure. The last thing you need is to be punished again.”

“Yeah, I’m sure. I don’t think we’ll get any other chance as good as this.”

“You are right. Just be careful, okay?”

“I will.” He makes a genuine smile. “Let’s eat, my stomach is aching for food.”

Castiel rolls his eyes and he smiles. “You are a glutton.”

Dean smiles him widely and Castiel does the same.

It seems that nothing has changed, that the fact of Crowley and Jo being out of the house doesn’t change anything at all. Their masters are out and nobody seems to be happy about it, except Alastair, whose smug grin is more noticeable because he is in charge, but the rest of the slaves seem like always. So Castiel and Dean have to pretend that this is a normal situation and hide what Dean is going to do in a few hours.

After lunch, Dean and Castiel go to their respective workplaces and Castiel wishes Dean good luck before he keeps walking to the garden. Dean feels a bit of adrenaline running through his veins. His heart is starting to beat a bit faster also. It is the rush feeling you get after doing something risky. Dean knows that this can go well or wrong. He will only find it out if he does it. This is a great chance, but if Alastair sees him, everything will be fucked up and Dean’s and Castiel’s ticket to get out of this place will be gone. Dean has to be careful and cautious. All his senses are alert. He takes a deep breath and he keeps working until the right moment arrives.

Dean closes his eyes and breathes deeply. Then, he walks towards the door and he opens it slowly, only a bit. He peers and he sees that no one else is around, so he moves away from the door and he closes it. He walks quietly, trying not to make any sound at all and he goes upstairs, checking out if anyone is there, but it seems that no one is near, so Dean keeps walking until he is in front of Jo’s bedroom door. He looks at both sides, checking again for any other slave before he opens the door. He gets inside the bedroom and he closes the door. He is in Jo’s bedroom and his adrenaline has increased considerably.

Dean starts to walk towards the boudoir and he starts to open the drawers. There are a lot of make up in most of them, like lipstick, eyeliner, eyeshadow, nail polish, rouge, mascara… Also, there are a lot of bracelets, rings and earrings, all of them with expensive and beautiful gems. And finally, Dean finds the drawer with several white leather collars. Castiel was right; Jo has a lot of white collars. There is a whole big drawer full of them. Dean picks one of them and tries to see if it is the right size for Castiel and him; it seems that it is adjustable to any size, so there won’t be any problem at all. Then, Dean starts to look in the drawer for some collars that don’t look too girly. He finds a few of them that don’t look too girly and he picks three of them. He puts the collars where they were, trying to leave them just how he found them and he closes the drawer.

Now it is time to steal the money. Dean leaves the collars on the boudoir and he goes to the safe box. He presses the numbers of the password, 5938, and the green light switches on. Dean smiles happily and he opens the safe box. There is a gun, a dagger and a lot of bills, all packed in piles of two thousand. There are a lot of piles, like near fifty or something, so Dean picks ten of them. He knows Jo is going to realize about this when she opens the safe box again, but Dean has to pick as much as he can. He knows that things in the Brown Lands are pretty cheap, but better be safe than sorry. He thinks Cas and he will do well with 30.000 BL dollars.

Dean puts the money inside of his jean’s pockets and he closes the safe box. Then, he goes to the boudoir and he takes the three white collars and he puts them in the inner pockets of his jacket. The pockets aren’t big enough for the collars, but Dean hopes they will hold the enough time it takes him to get to the bedroom. He has to be fast and he hopes not to run into anyone, he is carrying a lot of things he shouldn’t be carrying with him.

He breathes deeply, trying to calm down. He is about to open the door when he hears some muffled voices.

“I hate cleaning the attic!” It is a voice from a woman. Dean has only heard woman talking in the kitchen, but he never pays attention to them, so her voice is almost unknown to him.

“Do you think I like it either?” Another voice from a different woman. Dean thinks he has heard this voice more frequently, but he can’t put a face to that voice. “But you know what will happen if we don’t clean it. Alastair will tell to Miss Harvelle. You know he knows our tasks and this is a special one, so he will make sure that we have cleaned it.” Her voice starts to sound lower and more distant.

The voices are almost impossible to hear now, but Dean waits in Jo’s bedroom and he doesn’t get out until he hears the attic door being closed. First he opens the door and he peers once again to make sure that nobody is out there. Then, he gets out, closes the door and starts to walk towards the stairs. His heart is beating really fast. He needs to get into the bedroom as soon as he can.

As he keeps walking, he can’t stop turning his face to see if someone is behind him. Luckily he is all alone. No one is in the hall of the bedroom’s slaves and no one is following him. Finally, he arrives to the bedroom and he gets in. He locks the door and he gets out of his pockets everything quickly. He moves the wardrobe until the secret stash is seen. Dean removes the square and he puts inside the stash everything. He covers it and he puts the heavy wardrobe in its place. Dean breathes relieved, as if he hasn’t been able to breathe properly for years. It is done.

He walks outside of the bedroom and he walks towards the garage. When he is in the hall that leads to the garage, Dean hears someone clearing his throat, so Dean turns around and he sees Alastair.

“Where are you coming from?” Alastair asks in a defiant voice.

“From the bathroom.” Dean answers casually. He has left the money and the collars in the secret stash, so Alastair can’t find what Dean has been doing. Dean is now all calmed.

“I checked the garage five minutes ago and you weren’t there. You have been in the bathroom for too long.”

“I’ve been shitting.” He makes a cocky smile. “If I knew you were so interested on me, I would have called you to see my shit.”

Alastair makes a disgusted face. “You are gross.” He glares him and he turns around to walk away from Dean.

Dean smiles and he gets inside the garage. Everything has come up perfectly. Finally, something good has happened. There’s a lot of to do yet, but having the money and the collars, it is a huge step. One of the most difficult things is already done and Dean feels as if a heavy load was taken off from him.

Castiel arrives hours later, when it is time for dinner. He greets Dean and then, he places himself next to his boyfriend and both of them look at each other. “Did you do it?” Castiel inquires. Dean nods. Castiel makes a relieved smile. “Once we are in the bedroom, you’ll tell me about it.” He whispers.

“Of course.” Dean says with a smile.

They go to the kitchen to have dinner after that. Nothing unusual happens and Dean and Castiel hide pretty well how happy and glad they are knowing that they have the collars and the money in their possession. Nobody suspects anything. They know trouble will come once Jo realizes there’s a lot of money missing and three collars aren’t there. But they will face that when it comes. Right now, everything is good.

After suppertime, they go to their bedroom, they lock the door, they brush their teeth and then, Dean and Castiel move the wardrobe away and they kneel to remove the square of the stash and Castiel sees the three collars and the high summon of money.

“Dean, this is a lot of money.” Castiel whispers shocked.

“I know. But she had like fifty more piles of these. I don’t know how much we will need, but I’d rather have more than stay scarce.” Dean explains.

“I agree, but this is a lot of money. She is going to be pissed off when she founds out.” He bites his lower lip in a nervous way. “At least here it is safe.”

“It is.”

“Why did you pick three collars?” He asks confused and frowning.

“If I picked two it would be too obvious that we stole them. If I picked three, that would puzzle her. Three slaves with white collars? She doesn’t know three slaves cooperating together.” He explains with a proud smirk.

Castiel smiles proudly. “You are a genius, did you know that?” He says. Dean smiles shyly and he blushes a little bit. Castiel cups his face and kisses him enthusiastically. “Are you sure that you aren’t a professional thief?”

Dean laughs. “I’m not, Cas.” He kisses him again. When they pull away, they look at the stash. “We’ve got it.”

“We’ve got it.” He repeats. He picks the square and he covers the stash, then, he and Dean move the wardrobe to its place. Then, Castiel throws himself to Dean and he starts to kiss him passionately. He opens his mouth to press his tongue inside of Dean’s mouth and he starts to sneak his hands under Dean’s t-shirt, making Dean to smile goofily. “I want to make love to you.” Castiel says in a needy way when they stop kissing.

Dean’s heart skips several beats with those words and all he can do is to kiss in a lovely way Cas and say: “Then, do it.”

Castiel smiles and he kisses Dean again. They start to walk towards the bed, as good as they can; they don’t stop kissing, so they have to walk in a clumsy way, but they finally arrive to the bed and they let themselves fall into it. Dean is the one lying on the mattress while Castiel is above him.

They take off their clothes quickly and easily. When they are only wearing their boxers, Castiel starts to kiss Dean’s jaw and he makes circles with his thumb around one of Dean’s nipples. He pinches it softly and Dean makes a happy laugh, making Cas to smile and Dean can feel that wonderful smile along the skin of his jaw, as Cas keeps pressing soft but spirited kisses, which are moving down. Now Castiel’s lips are kissing Dean’s chest as his hands slid down Dean’s sides. Dean bites his lower lip and looks at Castiel, who looks at him from his eyelashes, letting him show his eyes are dark before he keeps kissing Dean, going downer.

Castiel teases Dean a little when his lips are on Dean’s tummy; Dean is really ticklish there and Castiel loves to kiss him and feel how the muscles under that freckled skin move and twitch when Dean starts to laugh. He even caresses gently Dean’s tummy and Dean’s whole body shake.

“Cas!” Dean says in a high pitched voice as he laughs.

Castiel pulls his lips away and he smiles at Dean. Then, he keeps going down with his kisses. He should take Dean’s boxers off, but instead, he opens his mouth widely and he starts to wet the underwear as he cups Dean’s balls with his mouth, feeling the fabric in his tongue. Dean moans and he tilts his head back. Then, Castiel moves his mouth and he starts to wet Dean’s hard cock, still hidden by the underwear. He plays with Dean’s cock with his mouth, wetting the boxers with his saliva, moving his tongue along the shaft, feeling Dean’s arousal. He bites it gently in some places and then, he keeps playing with his mouth and tongue with Dean’s erection.

“Holy fuck, Cas.” Dean breathes out.

Not so long after that, Castiel takes Dean’s boxers off and he kisses the head of Dean’s cock. Dean’s smile is a naughty one and Castiel needs to feel it against his lips, so he leans over Dean and he kisses him, feeling how Dean takes his underwear off easily and without hesitation. He even places his hands on Castiel’s buttocks and he squeezes them.

“Dean!” Castiel says laughing.

Dean has a sweet smug smirk on his face and Castiel kisses him again, never getting tired of feeling that smile on his lips. Dean embraces him, pressing him closer and he starts to rock his hips, slightly, rubbing his hard cock against Castiel’s, and both of them make a moan against their throats. They need to start fucking before they lose it all.

Castiel searches with his hands for the lube, without stopping kissing Dean. It is a great kiss, a kiss with tongue and he doesn’t want to stop it for the lube. He likes how Dean’s tongue swirls with his, how Dean finds exactly where he has to touch and how Dean presses him down, making Castiel to moan. Dean is such a great kisser. He is extremely great when it comes to kiss, touch or fuck Castiel.

He finally gets the lube, and when his lungs are craving for air, they pull away and Castiel starts to apply the lube on his hands, on his cock and then, he circles Dean’s hole. He knows all of this is necessary, but he hates having to stop all he and Dean are doing, he hates the loss of skin against skin and the wonderful warmth of Dean’s body. So Castiel does it quickly, with Dean looking at him impressed and with his huge and happy smirk, that stupid grin that Castiel loves too much.

Castiel lies above Dean, who spreads his legs and places his hands on Castiel’s head, pulling him down to kiss him properly. During the kiss, Castiel gets one of his fingers inside of Dean, who rocks his hips, asking for more. When Castiel presses the second finger in, Dean moans and pulls away from the kiss. He looks directly at Castiel’s eyes and he fucks into the fingers, so Castiel starts to move them, until they touch Dean’s prostrate and Dean shakes his legs and bites his lower lip. The third finger comes in easily and Dean fucks again into those fingers and he moans. Castiel can’t take his eyes of Dean’s; he loves seeing him like this, seeing every single face he does, how he enjoys what Castiel does. Castiel loves looking at Dean like this, so open, trusting Castiel, loving every touch Castiel makes. He even looks needy and exposed, his eyes say how much he wants this, how much he wants Castiel, how much he needs this, how much he needs to show him with his body that he loves him, and Castiel could lose it all just from staring at Dean and hearing him moaning his name.

Finally, Castiel gets inside of Dean the fourth finger and Dean moans really pleased. He closes his eyes, parts his lips and starts to breath in a desperate way. He fucks into Castiel’s fingers, which are making a scissoring movement, opening Dean up, and then, Castiel touches Dean’s prostate again and Dean moans louder this time.

“Fuck Cas—!” Dean says as if with every word he was running out of oxygen. “Fuck me. Fuck me, Cas, fuck me.” He says needy. He doesn’t know where he found the ability of talking because right now, with Cas’ fingers touching him inside that way, speaking seems almost impossible.

Castiel wipes off the lube of his fingers and when his hands are clean, he cups Dean’s face and he kisses him tenderly. Dean spreads his legs until he can put them around Castiel’s waist, tightening them around it. He opens his eyes to look at Castiel, who starts to get his cock inside Dean in a slow thrust. Dean parts his lips and he starts to breath heavily, feeling how Cas is filling him, taking away his emptiness, feeling how they are only one body one more time. Dean kisses Castiel needy and desperate as Castiel keeps moving inside of him, then, when they pull away and Cas is completely settled down, Dean starts to trace down Castiel’s arms, feeling the shape of his muscles under the hot and sweaty skin. Dean doesn’t take his eyes off Castiel’s, which are expectant. Finally, Dean arrives to Castiel’s hands and he holds them, tangling their fingers together and Castiel’s eyes seem to be fucking content. Dean dedicates him a bright smile and Castiel tightens his hands with Dean’s.

“C’mon big man.” Dean starts to say in that wonderful sexy voice of his. “Make me love just how you only know to do it.”

Those words make Castiel’s heart stop for a bit and fill his chest with an immense warmth. He kisses Dean passionately, desperately and fondly, tightening a little bit more his fingers with Dean’s. He starts to fuck Dean in slow thrusts, and Dean presses down his head on the pillow, closing his eyes, arching his back, tightening his legs around Castiel’s waist and holding tighter Castiel’s hands with his. Dean rocks his hips as Castiel keeps getting in and out of him his cock, fucking him— well, making love to him like no one else has ever done. They press together, they rock their hips, they feel each other’s bodies, their warmth, their sweats, their skin, feeling this marvelous bond in every single possible way.

Dean moans louder as Castiel’s thrusts go harder. “Fuck— Cas! Cas! Oh Cas!”

Castiel parts his lips and they make a smile. He breathes needy and Dean feels his breathing in his mouth. He leans over to kiss him, only for a moment, just before he moans Castiel’s name again. Then, Castiel starts to kiss Dean’s jaw desperate, he wants to feel Dean everywhere, so he also pushes his body down to feel Dean’s better, as he keeps moving inside of Dean with hard but sweet thrusts. Dean turns his face so he can make more room for Castiel’s mouth. Castiel kisses and bites Dean’s earlobe then, and Dean smiles. Castiel keeps fucking him, hard but lovely and Dean keeps moaning; this is being alive.

Dean turns his face and he opens his eyes and he looks at Castiel. “I love you.” Dean manages to say.

Castiel keeps shaking his whole body, fucking Dean and he kisses him desperate. This is too much and it feels extraordinary. “I love you.” Castiel says.

Dean keeps his eyes opened, looking at that gorgeous sea of Castiel’s eyes, all dark right now because of the pupils. They tighten their hands as Castiel keeps fucking Dean with those wonderful sweet thrusts. Dean moans, but he keeps his eyes opened, he loves looking directly at Castiel’s eyes when they are making love. He loves how Castiel looks at him as if Dean was the most extraordinary being in this universe. Dean feels so loved when Cas looks at him like this. He doesn’t only look at him when they are fucking, he looks at him like that several times, but when they are inside of the other, their eyes show something more intimate, something deeper and they love it.

Dean rocks his hips, asking for more, he wants to feel all of Cas, so his boyfriend gives it to him and fucks him with harder thrusts but at the same time they are sweet. Their hips collide, their bodies shake in a perfect rhythm, their sights are still locked in each other’s eyes, meeting the green forest and the blue sea one more time, sending pleasure to every small corner of their bodies. And they give and they take. Castiel keeps fucking Dean in that awesome way and Dean keeps rocking his hips, fucking into Castiel’s cock.

In one of those thrusts, Castiel touches that wonderful spot and Dean arches his back even more than usually and he moans really loud. He closes his eyes and presses his forehead against Castiel’s. Right now breathing seems unnecessary and very difficult. Castiel’s cock touches that sweet spot again and Dean fucks into his cock again, moaning as loud as before, feeling the pleasure spreading from that spot until it arrives to his limbs. His cock is aching and twitching; he needs to come, but he wants Cas to make him feel that again, to make him feel stars exploding under his eyeballs, to feel that his body belongs to Cas, to feel one more time Cas moving inside of him.

And Cas does it, like always, and Dean surrenders to Cas and he comes. His muscles tighten at first but then, they relax. He can hear his heart beating in his ears, he can feel how his blood runs everywhere and how that sudden blank fills his head. Cas is still inside of him and Dean rocks his hips slowly and lazily; he wants him to come too. It doesn’t take longer than Dean and Castiel comes too, feeling just how Dean felt.

“Dean.” Castiel says panting. Dean always leaves him breathless; it doesn’t matter if he is on top or bottom; when they are fucking, Dean always leaves him breathless and feeling better than in his whole life. He takes a really needy breath before he says something else. “This was perfect.”

Dean laughs and he kisses Castiel. “It was fucking awesome.”

They open their eyes slowly and Castiel gets out of Dean, who grunts unpleased. “Sorry, I—”

“I know, Cas.” He interrupts. “It’s just that I hate how cold I feel when you are no longer inside of me.” He blushes a little bit. His cheeks are flushed because of the sex, same as Castiel’s, but by saying that, they got a little bit redder.

“Same happens to me when you are the one inside me.” He sighs and he turns his face, so he can place it on the curve of Dean’s neck. “Do you mind if I stay like this for the rest of the night?”

Dean smiles and he kisses his forehead. “Not at all.” He moves his hands away from Castiel’s hands and he embraces Castiel and he starts to caress softly Castiel’s back. “Although we should clean the mess of our comes.”

“We can shower together tomorrow morning.” He mumbles tiredly. Dean knows by his voice that Castiel is about to fall asleep. It won’t take him too long.

“I like how that sounds.” He says really happy. Castiel smiles against the skin of Dean’s collarbone and Dean loves it.

“Of course you do.” He places one of his hands on the right side of Dean’s chest, stroking it gently, and his other hands goes to Dean’s hair, so he starts to pet it.

“You are a sassy little shit.” He murmurs with a cocky voice.

“But you love me.”

“Yeah, I do love you.”

Castiel tilts his head up and he smiles. He cups Dean’s face and he kisses him slowly and softly. “And you are a cocky assbutt who I love more than anything and anyone.”

“You are too cheesy.” He smiles.

“And you are it too.”

Dean smiles widely and he reaches up to kiss Castiel in a lovely and delicate way. “Don’t ever change.” His eyes show as if he was falling in love over and over again with him.

Castiel nuzzles Dean’s nose before he speaks. “I won’t.” He presses a quick kiss on those tender and pink lips of Dean. “Don’t you ever change either.”

“Of course I won’t.” He laughs and he kisses Castiel passionately, until both of their lips are swollen. After that, Castiel lies again above Dean and he keeps stroking Dean’s chest while Dean keeps stroking his back. Then, Dean switches off the lamp and Castiel pulls the quilt and the sheets up, until both of them are covered.

“Getting out of here seems closer.” Castiel whispers.

“We still have a lot to do.”

“I know we do.” He kisses Dean’s neck and he tangles his legs with Dean’s. “But we have the collars and the money. It is a lot. More than I ever expected.” He takes a deep breath before he goes on. “It is going to take us a lot of time, but we have a huge thing done.” He sounds enthusiastic and hopeful.

“Yeah.” Dean presses a long kiss in Castiel’s head. “It’s great to hear you this hopeful.”

“I never thought I was going to have hope ever again.” He confesses. He isn’t sure if he ever hoped anything. From the moment their parents sold him and he became a slave, Castiel’s hopes were almost nonexistent. He had it, but it burned down and consumed him pretty quickly. But now, this plan he and Dean have of running away, it gives Castiel a lot of hope; more than he has ever had. “I never thought I would feel anything of what you make me feel.” He adds with a soft murmur. “You changed everything in my life Dean. And I’m so happy about it.”

“Don’t get sappy, Cas.” Dean complains a bit annoyed. Luckily, Castiel can’t see him blushing right now.

Castiel makes a low laugh. “Sorry. I forgot how uncomfortable you get when I talk like this. But you get pretty cute.”

“You can’t see me properly right now.” He teases.

“Assbutt.” He moves and he reaches Dean’s mouth, to kiss it again, one last time before his body surrenders to the slumber. He gets back to his position and Dean hugs him tightly, protecting him with those strong arms. “Thank you for everything Dean.”

“Thanks to you, Cas.” He says with a voice that has a little shyness hidden in it. He closes his eyes and cuddles Castiel. “And don’t you dare to say anything about how cheesy this is. You are turning me into a sappy and cheesy dude.”

Castiel laughs and it echoes in Dean’s body, which is an awesome feeling. “Then I guess I will only say goodnight Dean.”

“Yeah. Goodnight to you too, Cas.”


	37. Numbers are Important

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks a lot for reading, and for the kudos, the bookmarks, the comments and the subscriptions. I'm so glad that you are enjoying this fic :)

Crowley and Jo arrived two days after they left. They seemed to be less pissed off than these few last days. Something might have happened between them, maybe Crowley told her daughter a few things that made her think about it. Honestly, slaves don’t care too much about it, but if Jo isn’t too pissed off, that means that it will be less probably to be punished. Jo in a ‘good’ mood is better than Jo furious. Dean knows this better than anyone in this house.

It has been a several days since Jo and Crowley returned to the house and for now, it seems that Jo hasn’t realized about the missing collars and the missing money, and Dean and Castiel are quite worried about this. They don’t know if she has already seen that she has been robbed, maybe she hasn’t looked into the safe box, but she is quite maniac, so she must have noticed that there are three collars missing. But she hasn’t said a word about it. Castiel told Dean that she might be hiding it because Crowley is in the house and she doesn’t want her father to know that someone has stolen three collars; that would make her look like stupid and vulnerable in front of her father. Although Crowley could torture every single slave until he found out who has the collars, Jo would rather do all of that by herself. She doesn’t want to look weak in front of the slaves and call her daddy to do the dirty work. After all, she is the one who spends more time with the slaves in the house; she can’t show any weakness.

Anyway, Dean and Castiel are pretty sure that Jo knows about the stolen collars, but she isn’t going to say anything about it until her father is out of the house, and Dean and Castiel are also almost sure that Jo suspects of them. They have talked about how she is going to make them talk, and they hope that they don’t reveal anything; they have been through a lot of punishments, so they can go through anything Jo can do to them. The problem will come up if she decides to use them against each other, which is what she will probably do.

Now it is almost suppertime, so Castiel has arrived to the garage, like he always does. When Dean hears the garage door go up, he keeps it almost closed because it is freaking December and it is really cold, so he leaves the garage door opened only a few inches, enough space for Castiel to get his fingers under and lift it and also this way, Dean doesn’t froze. 

Dean turns his face and approaches Castiel quickly. “Crowley’s gone.” Dean says. Castiel looks at him a bit shocked. “He’s left a few hours ago.”

“Okay.” Castiel says with a puff. “I’m sure Jo is going to try to find out about the collars. And I’m almost one hundred percent sure that we are her prime suspects.” He bites his lower lip nervously. He doesn’t care a lot of about himself, but the idea of Dean being punished and hurt by Jo one more time, it scares him a lot.

“We gotta act as if we didn’t know anything.” He whispers, as if someone could hear them. They are alone in the garage, but they have to be very cautious. Dean takes a deep and exhausted breath.

“Everything is going to be okay.” Castiel says as he cups with one of his hands Dean’s face. It is a quick touch, but Dean thanks it.

“You know what a bitch she is.” He starts to say. He stares at Castiel’s eyes, trying to find the calm he always finds when he lets himself sink in that beautiful sea. “And she gets really cruel with punishments, especially with us.”

“I know.” Castiel sighs. He understands Dean’s fears; he has them too, but they have to remain calmed, come what may come. “Come on, it’s suppertime.”

Dean nods and he presses a small and quick kiss on Castiel’s lips. They are starting to do things like this more than they should, they are conscious about it, they have talked about it, they shouldn’t do it and they have argued a bit about all of this, but finally, they gave up and they now kiss quickly or they touch rapidly without protesting about it. They are tired and sick of having to hide this all the fucking time they are outside their bedroom. They can do all of this as long as no one is near to see them.

When they arrive to the kitchen, Dean notices that Alastair and Azazel are smirking at them in a creepier way than usually. Dean glares them before sitting on the chair and then he ignores them.

“Alastair and Azazel have that stupid and creepy smirk on their faces.” Dean murmurs.

Castiel moves his eyes, without turning his face to those slaves. It is a fast eye movement, but he can see that Dean is right. “Ignore them.” He simply says. “They might be up to something.” He adds. He starts to eat one of the fish sticks.

“That’s what I think and that’s why I don’t like it.” He eats one of the fish sticks too. “I think Jo is gonna do something.”

“How many times have I told you not to speak with your mouth full?” He kicks Dean’s foot and arches a brow.

Dean smiles in a happy way. “I do it on purpose. You look so fucking cute when you get mad at me.” This time, he speaks when his mouth isn’t full.

Castiel rolls his eyes and he can’t help smiling. “I always look cute for you.” An almost unnoticeable shade of red appears on his cheeks, which makes Castiel look even cuter in Dean’s opinion.

“That’s true. But there are times when you are even cuter.” His lips make a beautiful and happy smile and it is really hard for Castiel to resist the urge to grab Dean’s face and kiss him right now, to feel that marvelous smile in his lips, like he always does when they are alone. Instead of that, Castiel blushes more and dedicates Dean a lovely smile.

“Shut up.” Castiel says shyly with a too lovely voice. He looks down at his food, because if he keeps looking at Dean, his blush isn’t going to disappear. He should be used to Dean’s comments and it should be harder to Castiel to get blush after all this time, but it isn’t. He blushes easily because of Dean.

Dean smiles widely as he bites his lower lip. Then, he keeps eating, still with his happy smile. How different everything would be if Cas wasn’t there with him. If it wasn’t for that man sitting in front of Dean, he wouldn’t know if he would have been able to carry on in this house. No, he definitely wouldn’t have been able to do it.

When they have finished, they stand up and walk towards the door, expecting Jo to appear out of nowhere, like she always likes to do, but she doesn’t appear. As Dean and Castiel are walking through the hall, the one in the down floor where all the slave’s bedrooms are, they look at each other, puzzled, without understanding why Jo hasn’t appeared yet. They even look at the beginning of the hall, where the staircase is, waiting for her to appear before they open the door, but she doesn’t appear, so Dean and Castiel get into the bedroom and they close the door, locking it.

“This is weird.” Castiel says.

“Too weird.” Dean says. “She should have come before we left the kitchen, right?”

Castiel shrugs. “I don’t know. And I don’t like any of this.”

“Yeah, me neither.” He chews the inner of his cheeks and he makes a thoughtful grimace. “Well, whatever.” He cups Castiel’s face and he kisses him passionately. As soon as they start to kiss, most of the fears seem to fade away and all they can focus on is on the feeling of kissing and their hands touching each other.

Castiel laughs when Dean starts to play with his bottom lip and then, he pushes Dean back to his mouth, so they can kiss properly again. “You are so eager.” He whispers into Dean’s mouth.

“As if you weren’t it.” Dean laughs, echoing in Castiel’s body, sending happiness to Castiel’s body. Dean steals him a sweet kiss and then, they walk to the bathroom to brush their teeth.

After being in the bathroom, they go to their bed, kissing along the path, laughing during the kisses. When they are almost in the bed, still on their feet and kissing, someone tries to open the door. With that sound, Dean and Castiel break the kiss and they share a nervous look before they both turn their sights to the door, trying to make sure that they didn’t imagine the sound of someone trying to open it.

“Dean, Castiel, unlock the door!” Jo yells angrily.

There she is. They were waiting for her to appear sooner, but there she is, behind the door and they don’t know what she is going to do, but it isn’t going to be something good. Dean kisses briefly Castiel and then, he goes towards the door and he unlocks it. Jo opens the door angrily and she gets into the bedroom, followed by Alastair and Azazel, and she looks at everywhere.

“What do you want?” Dean asks as he walks. He stops when he is next to Castiel.

Jo looks at Azazel, who has closed the door. She nods, and then, she turns her face to look at Dean and Castiel to speak. “As if you two didn’t know it.” She says with a sickening voice.

“What have we done now?” Castiel asks in a half sassy half tired voice. He also rolls his eyes.

“Don’t talk to me like that.” She sounds really angry. “I know you have stolen one of my collars.”

Dean and Castiel frown in confusion and they narrow their eyes. She has said one collar. Not three. One. That’s odd. Maybe she didn’t know exactly how many collars she had in total.

“Do you have more than one collar?” Dean asks confused. He has to pretend he doesn’t know about anything Castiel told him about the collars. He has to pretend that he ignores it.

Jo walks towards Dean, with a glare that could burn someone if she had the ability to do such thing. “Don’t try to play the fool with me, Dean.” Then, without taking away her eyes filled with wrath, she speaks. “Alastair, Azazel, search everywhere for my collar!”

“Why do you think we take it?” Castiel says with a disgusted voice. “It could have been anyone else.”

Jo makes a dry laugh. “Do you think I am stupid, Castiel?” She looks at Castiel in a challenging way. “I know you two and you aren’t like the rest of slaves.” She moves her eyes from Dean to Castiel as she speaks, giving them hard and sick looks with her cold eyes. “You two still think you won’t die as slaves, that you can get away from this life. You are two stupid deluded fools.”

Alastair and Azazel keep searching in the room for the collar. They look in the beds, in the drawers, leaving a mess. Alastair finds Dean’s bag under the bed and he starts to look into it. He picks the lube and he looks at it confused.

“Miss Harvelle.” Alastair says.

Jo turns her face and she makes a disgusted frown and picks the lube. “Why do you have this, Dean?” She asks intrigued.

“I always carry lube in my journeys.” Dean simply answers. “You never know when you are gonna need it.” He makes a smug smirk.

Jo rolls her eyes and she throws it at the bed. “And why are you keeping it?”

Dean shrugs and pouts. He doesn’t know what to answer. He can’t tell her the truth, so he has to look as if he didn’t give a damn about it. He knows it is weird to carry lube and keep it if you aren’t using it. He and Cas are using it, but he can’t tell that to Jo.

Jo looks at Castiel for a moment, who has a poker face, and then, she looks at Dean. “It is really strange to keep something like that with you.”

“I should have told you, right?” He starts to say with a cocky and sassy voice. Castiel turns his face to give him a warning look, but Dean ignores it. “Maybe it would have made it easier to rape me, huh?”

Jo slaps Dean’s face hard and easily. “Don’t talk to me like that Dean.” She warns with a hateful voice. She starts to approach him but Castiel gets in the way. “Move.”

“No.” Castiel says bravely. “You are here to look for that stupid collar, nothing else.”

“You aren’t who to tell me why I am here exactly.” She mumbles cockily and powerful. “Move Castiel.” She orders in an irritating way.

“No.” He says calmed but with a powerful voice too.

“Cas.” Dean says. He tries to sound not too sweet. Castiel turns his face to look at him. Dean moves until he is standing next to him. Castiel nods and he lets Dean to stay next to him instead of being behind him.

“You two are exhausting.” She only says annoyed. Then, she looks at Alastair and Azazel, who have stopped searching for the collar the moment Jo slapped Dean. “Keep searching for the collar!”

Alastair and Azazel keep searching for the missing collar. Azazel goes to the bathroom while Alastair looks into the wardrobe. Jo keeps looking in a challenging way at Dean and Castiel, only taking her sight away from them to glance at the other slaves, hoping that they will find the collar. But they don’t and Jo gets really angry for that. She takes a desperate and angry breath before she turns around to see Alastair.

“Hold Dean.” She commands quickly. Alastair tries to grab Dean, who shakes his body and moves away from Alastair, but Jo kicks Dean’s knees and he falls down to them.

“Dean!” Castiel yells, trying to help him, but Azazel grabs him tightly and Jo punches his stomach. She is wearing her brass knuckles. She wasn’t wearing them before, she has just put them on. Castiel grunts and he looks at Dean. Jo kicks Dean’s chin painfully first and then, she punches Dean’s face painfully. Dean spits his blood to her, the blood ends on Jo’s pants, so Jo punches his ribs and Alastair seizes the moment and holds Dean tightly, avoiding him to move. Castiel tries to get away from Azazel’s grip, shaking his body, trying to kick him, but Azazel is gripping him tightly and Jo punches him in the stomach again and then she punches Castiel’s face.

“You two are always doing everything in the bad way.” She sounds delighted about this. She takes an exhausted gasp and she puts the lock of hair behind her ear.

Dean and Castiel are in front of each other, being held by one slave as Jo stands in the middle, looking at both of them. Dean is kneeling on the floor while Castiel is standing. Dean is looking down and some blood is falling down from his mouth, ending on his chin and falling down to the floor in red drops. Castiel tries to fight to release himself from Azazel again, but Jo approaches him and grabs his hair painfully, trying to tear it apart and she punches Castiel’s nose with the brass knuckles. Castiel grunts painfully and he feels how a small river of blood falls down his nose.

“Stop!” Dean yells angrily and looking at Jo and Castiel. “Leave him!”

“Alastair, feel free to hurt Dean whenever he deserves it.” Jo says tiredly.

“Yes miss Harvelle.” Alastair sounds too pleased. He grabs Dean’s hair in a painful way, just like Jo is doing to Castiel. Then, Alastair moves, without releasing any of his hands, and he kicks Dean’s stomach with his knee.

Castiel grunts and shakes but Jo punches him again, this time on his chin. “Stop hurting Dean!” Castiel yells glaring her. He shakes his body again, but he can’t get away from Azazel’s arms.

“I’m not hurting him. It’s Alastair.” Her smile is creepy and happy at the same time. Castiel is about to say something, but Jo punches his nose again and the pain is too intense that Castiel loses almost all the strengths in his body as the blood keeps running down his nose, feeling how the bone is broken and it hurts like hell.

“Stop it whore!” Dean yells angrily. Jo walks fast towards Dean and she kicks Dean’s face several times, until Dean’s face is swollen and bleeding and everything Dean can feel is pain, wounds and broken bones. Dean is starting to feel really tired, heavy and sore. Jo now punches Dean’s face again and Castiel keeps yelling and grunting, trying to make her stop, but she doesn’t.

“I must admit you two are hard.” Jo starts to say impressed but at the same time she sounds irritated and angry. She walks towards Castiel, leaving Dean bleeding and panting. Castiel has glassy eyes, but he is glaring Jo, he tries to get away from Azazel, but Jo punches his face again and Castiel feels tired and hurt one more time. “But you two never learn.” She exhales sharply. “Let’s try something with you, Castiel.” She starts to say with a sweet voice. Castiel glares her while Dean raises his sight to look at the two of them, scared of what Jo has in her mind. Jo nails Castiel’s cheeks painfully as she smiles. “I know you two stole my collar and I’m going to make you talk.” She smiles happily.

“What are you gonna do to him?” Dean asks scared. If Jo is going to hurt someone, Dean would rather be the one who suffers. She can’t hurt Castiel, every time Jo does something to Castiel is more than painful and Dean can’t watch it, he can’t see how his boyfriend suffers. Even picturing it hurts and scares Dean in horrible ways. Cas has suffered enough during his whole life; he can’t suffer anymore.

Jo pulls away her hand of Castiel and she turns to look at Dean, dedicating him a creepy but glorious smile. “Don’t worry Dean. You will see it right now.” She says with a smug voice. Then, she gets out of her pants’ pocket a small bar of iron, with a plastic handle at one of the ends of it. After that, she gets out of the pocket a lighter, the one people use in the kitchens. The flame is a big one and Jo looks at it in a fascinated way.

“Don’t you dare!” Dean yells terrified. “Don’t hurt him like that! No!” He shakes his body, trying to get away from Alastair’s grip, but Jo kicks him again, this time on his ribs and Dean is too tired and hurt to fight, but he can’t let her do that to Cas. He has suffered something like this a long time ago, he can’t live that again. Dean can’t let this happen. She is going to torture Castiel just to know where the collar is. They have to keep the secret, but this price is too high. She is going to burn Castiel’s skin and Dean can’t let this happen. He can’t let her hurt his precious Cas. Dean wants to go through this just to avoid this suffering to Cas.

Castiel, meanwhile, is looking at Jo warming up the iron bar with the lighter. A lot of memories from the Master come to his mind quickly, until the night when the Master burnt his side and threatened him to fuck him with that incandescent iron bar plays in his memory slowly, reviving the pain, the smell, the fear and all those horrible things he felt. He looks at Dean, who is terrified by that. Castiel is it too, he is too terrified of feeling that pain again, but he must hold the pain and the fear. He can’t let Jo take away their only chance of running away from this place; even if it is going to be really painful.

Dean’s eyes are glassy and filled with terror. Castiel has seen that sight; it is the sight Dean had the night he thought Castiel was going to die. Dean’s eyes are terrified, glassy and shinning with fear. His cheeks are swollen, his nose is broken, there are rivers of blood falling down his nose, his mouth and one of his eyebrows, leading into only one river on his chin. There are wounds on his face and a few scratches on his forehead. His face should be showing Dean’s pain, but it is only showing the terror of what Jo is about to do with Castiel. Dean shakes his head slightly, looking directly to Castiel, and mouthing several _‘no’_ without speaking.

Castiel takes a deep breath and he looks how Jo keeps heating up the iron bar with the lighter. It won’t take too long. Then, he looks at Dean with sweet eyes, showing that Dean doesn’t have to worry about him, something that makes Dean grunt and shake his body in a tired but angry way. Of course, Jo kicks Dean’s stomach once again, and Dean spits more blood, which ends up on the floor this time.

“Don’t hurt him!” Dean says breathy but furious. He raises slowly his face to see Jo. “Don’t you fucking hurt him!” He bolds every single word with the rage that’s running in his veins.

Jo rolls her eyes and she looks at Dean. “You must be really stupid if you think I’m going to stop just because you tell me to.” She sighs and she looks at the iron bar, which seems to be hot enough. She saves the lighter and she smiles at Dean in a satisfied way. “I know how much you care about him.” She tilts her head, pointing Castiel with it. “If he doesn’t talk while I burn him, you will, because you don’t want your precious Castiel to be hurt, right?” Now she smiles at Castiel, who makes a furious grimace. “I told you Dean; he is your weakness.” She starts to walk slowly to Castiel, holding tightly the iron bar.

“Don’t!” Dean yells angrily and frustrated. “Don’t hurt him! Don’t you dare bitch! Leave him!” He yells with all the anger in his blood, with all the strengths in his lungs, hurting them and his vocal cords with every desperate yell. He attempts to stand up, but Alastair pushes him down to his knees quickly and painfully, hurting Dean, although he tries to stand up again, in a fail attempt. He is going to try anything just to avoid this.

“Isn’t it fascinating?” She says as she looks marveled at the iron bar, and then she looks at Castiel’s eyes. “Dean never yells or screams when I’m punishing him, when I hurt him, but when I’m about to punish you, he yells and screams more than ever.” She turns her face briefly to dedicate Dean a triumphant grin.

Castiel glares her and tries to get away from Azazel’s grip, but it is a vain act; Castiel is too tired and hurt and Azazel is really strong. Jo is just a few inches away from Castiel, who can almost feel the burning iron bar, although it isn’t touching him, but the hot radiation is stroking him in a warning way. He is scared of this; he isn’t going to deny it. But he has been through this and he isn’t going to let Jo know where the collar is, even if this hurts a lot.

Dean, meanwhile is shaking his body, desperate to get away from Alastair’s grip, but his movements are in vain and it only makes Alastair to grip Dean’s hair painfully, tilting his head up so Dean can see Castiel perfectly. Dean doesn’t know what to do, he keeps fighting but it is useless. Everything seems to go in slow motion, but he knows time is going at its usual speed. Dean’s body feels cold because of the terror. The pain intensifies. His heart is beating fast, trying to get out of his chest. Cas, his Cas. Dean can’t let this happen. He looks at Castiel’s eyes; they are scared but calm. They meet Dean’s and he knows that Castiel is telling him not to worry about this, but Dean is fucking scared of this, of knowing and hearing and feeling Castiel’s pain once the iron bar touches him.

“Okay, Castiel.” Jo says. The iron bar is only a few inches away from Castiel’s cheeks, but Castiel can feel the heat of it, almost touching him, but not completely. “Where is my collar?”

“I don’t know where your stupid collar is.” Castiel says firmly.

Jo grunts disappointed and she is about to finally burn Castiel when Dean yells with his heart out. “HE DOESN’T KNOW WHERE YOUR FUCKING COLLAR IS!” His voice is heartbreaking, filled with pain and terror. Every word echoes in the bedroom, the pain and fear in Dean’s words rumble against the walls. “DON’T HURT HIM! PLEASE!” Dean isn’t a man who begs, it is something denigrating, but right now, Dean is going to beg until his voice is gone, just to avoid Cas to go through that suffering. “HE DOESN’T KNOW WHERE YOUR COLLAR IS! LEAVE HIM! PLEASE! DO ANYTHING TO ME BUT DON’T HURT HIM! WE DON’T KNOW ABOUT THAT COLLAR!” Dean’s voice sounds more broken than ever and he is extremely terrified. He is about to cry, but he is holding his tears although he is almost sobbing. “DON’T HURT HIM!” He says desperate. Tears want to fall down his eyes, but he is holding them; his voice is too broken already to let Jo and the other slaves see how weak and useless he feels and how terrified he is.

Castiel looks at him with sadness and feeling devastated. He has never seen Dean like this, this terrified, this broken, this desperate. He has always been strong, but right now, Dean is too fragile. Castiel understands it. He would be like this too if Dean was the one about to be burnt with the iron bar. Castiel just wants to hug Dean and tell him, it’s okay, I’m fine and make him feel safe, protect him from everything with his arms, kiss him softly, trying to fade the pain away, like he always does.

“Release them.” Jo says to Alastair and Azazel, which creepy smiles fade away with Jo’s words. When she sees that they haven’t move, she speaks again. “I said release them.” She doesn’t raise her voice, but she sounds too pissed off.

Alastair and Azazel obey and Dean and Castiel aren’t held by them anymore. Castiel looks confused at Jo, who goes towards the bathroom to cool the iron bar. Meanwhile, Castiel runs towards Dean and he kneels next to him. Dean looks at him with scared glassy eyes, but there’s some relief in them. Dean breathes as if he wasn’t allowed to do it until now. Castiel wants to kiss him right now, to hug him, but they aren’t alone yet, so he makes a sad smile and Dean smiles too; it is a tiny one, but it is a fond one.

Jo comes out of the bathroom and she saves the cold iron bar in her pocket. Dean and Castiel look at her in a confused way, but glaring her. She approaches them, walking in a slow but determined way. Her face shows she is disappointed.

“Miss Harvelle.” Alastair starts to say. “May I ask why—?”

“Three collars.” Jo interrupts. “Three collars were stolen. If Dean and Castiel were the thieves, when I was about to burn Castiel, Dean would have said three when he panicked. But he keep saying _‘collar’_ in singular.” She explains. She looks at Dean and Castiel with calculative eyes. “They didn’t steal them. Dean would have told the truth and reveal everything just to save Castiel.”

Dean glares her. “You didn’t have any proofs and you have punished us. You are a fucking heartless bitch.” He says angrily. Jo kicks Dean’s chin furiously and Castiel is about to stand up to hurt her or something, but Dean grabs his wrist. “Don’t.” He says spitting more blood. “She’s not worth. We’ve got enough for tonight.”

Castiel shakes his wrist, pulling away from Dean’s grip in an angry way. He wants to hurt her for what she has done to Dean and to him. She deserves it more than anyone. But he isn’t in the right conditions to do it.

“When will you two understand that you are my slaves and I can do whatever the hell I want with you?” Jo says with rage.

“Fuck you.” Dean says. Of course, Jo is about to punch him again, but Castiel gets in the way and he is the one who is punched.

“You are stupid, Castiel.” She says irritated.

Castiel glares her. “You are done here.”

“Don’t tell me what—”

“He is right.” Dean interrupts her. “Unless you wanna keep hurting us, you are done. So leave.” His voice is strong and challenging again.

“I might be done with you two for tonight. But don’t think I’ll not make you pay for this.” She threatens. Then, she walks away and leaves the room, followed by Alastair and Azazel, and this one, is who closes the door.

“You shouldn’t have gotten in the way and receive the punch.” Dean says grunting painfully as he lies down in the floor.

“You shouldn’t have told her ‘fuck you’.” Castiel says as he stands up and walks towards the door to lock it. Then, he walks to where Dean is laying down and he lies down too. He takes a deep breath and he turns his face to see Dean and he holds his hand. “You should have let me punch her or something instead of grabbing my wrist.” He complains.

Dean turns his face and looks at him angrily. “You are the smart one and I’m the reckless one. Don’t change our roles.” He snaps annoyed. “I couldn’t let yourself do something stupid. She would have hurt you again. And I really don’t want that.”

“But you insulted her. Why—”

“Cas.” Dean says with a warning voice, interrupting Cas. “It was stupid and you know it. I know insulting her wasn’t a good idea either.” He takes a deep breath and he closes his eyes for a moment. Castiel furrows his brows in confusion. Then, Dean opens his eyes and he looks at Castiel’s. “She almost burnt you. I couldn’t let her do that again.” His voice sounds a bit broken. Castiel’s eyes soften and he looks down ashamed. “I was so fucking terrified.” He says in a murmur. His chin hurts when he speaks and his mouth tastes too freaking much like blood, but he doesn’t care too much. Cas and he are safe now, together, and that’s really good.

“I know.” He takes a deep breath and holds tighter Dean’s hand. He moves his eyes to look at Dean’s. “I was terrified too. I wasn’t sure if I could hold the pain and being able not to tell her the truth, but you make her not to hurt me.” He makes a cute smile.

“I was considering telling her the truth. I couldn’t—” He rubs his face with his other hand, hurting himself a little bit when he touches a place where he is hurt. “I couldn’t let her hurt you. I don’t know how I didn’t tell the truth, how I managed to say all of that.”

Castiel approaches him and he kisses him sweetly, trying not to hurt Dean or him. “You made it. We made it.” He says sweetly.

“Yeah.” He exhales sharply. “Fuck, I hope she doesn’t make us go through this again.” He grunts painfully.

“We should heal.”

“Bathroom seems too fucking far.” He complains with a grimace.

“Come on. I’m not going to let you suffer like this. You must be healed.” He starts to get up and Dean does the same. Both of them groan and grunt painfully.

“You too.” Dean says grunting. Castiel smiles and he presses a kiss on Dean’s cheek.

They are too tired and aching, so they walk slowly to the bathroom, making a few grunts as they walk. When they are in the bathroom, Dean sits on the edge of the bathtub as Castiel starts to pick all the things.

“Fuck, I must look fucking hideous.” Dean mumbles in a painful way.

Castiel sits next to him and he starts to clean Dean’s wounds with a wet cloth. “You even look handsome with your face soaked in blood.” Castiel says honestly.

Dean arches an eyebrow. “I didn’t know you have such a weird kink.”

“What’s a kink?”

“Like some sexual fetishism.” He explains. He grunts in an acid way when Castiel touches his swollen nose.

“It’s not a kink.” He says as he cleans the rest of Dean’s bloody, wounded and swollen face. “You look always gorgeous. Even with a bit of blood. But I’d rather have you without any wound.”

“Yeah, I know. I was teasing you.” He says smiling. Castiel touches his nose again and Dean yells. “Fuck!”

“Sorry, Dean. Your nose is terribly swollen. It is going to hurt you for days.” He looks carefully at the nose, and then he touches it. “It is broken and there is no way I can put it back in its place.”

“Awesome. Fucking awesome.” He complains and taking a deep breath. “How am I supposed to kiss you properly with my nose hurting like hell?”

Castiel smiles shyly. “Like this.” And he kisses Dan slowly, not hurting him at all. Dean places his hand on Castiel’s face, being careful not to touch any hurt place and he approaches Castiel a little bit more, so he can kiss him better. It hurts him a little bit sometimes, but the kiss is worth it.

Dean smiles when they pull away. “Yeah, that’s good.” He says happily. “Okay, now let me clean your wounds.” He picks another cloth and he starts cleaning Cas. He hasn’t got as much wounds as Dean, but they hurt and some of them look as bad as Dean’s. “I’m happy that it didn’t go as bad as it could have been.” He murmurs.

“Me too. We got too hurt, but it could have been worse. We still have the collars and the money.” He sighs. He grunts when Dean cleans his cheek.

“Sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

Dean presses a small kiss on the swollen and bloody lips of Castiel, then, he keeps cleaning the wounds and the dried blood. “Wait until she finds about the money.”

Castiel exhales sharply. “She is going to be even more furious with that.”

“Yeah…” He puts the cloth away and he starts to apply the antiseptic. Castiel hasn’t got as much wounds as Dean, but he still has wounds, also his nose is broken and there are some swollen parts, which will take some time to heal. “And I don’t think she is gonna forget about the collars. She isn’t gonna find them and she will keep suspecting we did it.” He puts a few bands on Castiel’s wounds and then, it is Castiel’s turn to do the same with Dean.

“I know.” He says exhausted. Dean has more wounds than him and Castiel hates it. “But she seemed convinced about our innocence, because you kept saying a collar instead of collars.” When he touches the wound on Dean’s nose, Dean grunts. “That’s going to make her a bit crazy. She knew she had to push one of us, so that way, any of us would have told her the truth, but she pushed us and although we were almost in the edge, neither you nor I revealed the truth. It is going to drive her crazy.” He is now applying the antiseptic, being very careful and gentle.

“Yeah. I won’t be surprised if she comes back here again and starts looking at everywhere again.” He blows. “They looked everywhere except under the wardrobe. They know it is impossible to hide something under it.”

“And they don’t expect a secret stash.” Castiel adds. He is now sticking with the tape the bands on Dean’s wounds.

“I just hope she doesn’t make us go through this again. But I’m almost one hundred percent sure that she will.”

“Yes. Probably.” He sighs in a desperate way. He looks down sadly.

“What is it, Cas?”

“I—” He takes a deep breath. Dean holds his hands and he starts to stroke them with his thumbs. Castiel makes a tiny smile. “I don’t know if next time, if you are the one about to be burnt, I will be able to lie.” He doesn’t look at Dean until he has finished talking.

“I understand Cas. Fuck, I don’t know how I could lie. I was so fucking scared I don’t know how the fuck I did it.” He makes a grimace.

“Because you are strong.”

“You are strong too. Sometimes you are even stronger than me.”

Castiel rolls his eyes. “Yes, sure.” He says sarcastically.

“Don’t bullshit me, Cas.” Dean sounds disturbed. “You are fucking strong.” He says. Cas is about to say something but Dean keeps talking. “You saw me when she was about to burn you. I’ve never been weaker Cas. I didn’t know how this was gonna end and all I wanted was that she didn’t burn you. I didn’t know what to do. I was so fucking terrified. I don’t know how I kept myself together. But I kept. And you kept yourself together.”

“Dean—” He doesn’t know what else to say. He looks at Dean with lovely eyes.

“Next time, I don’t know how it is gonna be like. We don’t know if we can keep ourselves together again. I’ll do anything just to save you Cas.” He holds Castiel’s hands tightly. “And I know you will do the same.”

Castiel nods. “Of course I will.”

Dean smiles and then, he cups Castiel’s face and he kisses him tenderly. They kiss in a lovely way, trying to fade away their physical and emotional pain. Then, when they pull away, Dean speaks. “We did it. We held that fucking punishment and trial.”

“We did.” He kisses Dean again, but this time it is a short one. Then, Castiel stands up and with the help of Dean, they put all the healing supplies in their places. “We should put all this mess back where it was before.” He says when they are in the bedroom. Alastair and Azazel left a terrible mess and they were searching for the collar.

“Okay.” Dean says. They put everything in its right place after some long minutes. They are really tired and exhausted. They could leave this for tomorrow, but they would rather do it now, so tomorrow they don’t have to care about it.

When everything is tidy, Dean and Castiel take off their clothes, except their underwear and their t-shirts, and they get in the bed. Dean switches off the light and he rolls over, so he can press his chest against Castiel’s back. Castiel really likes spooning and Dean likes it too, so Dean tightens Castiel’s body with his arms, pulling him closer. Castiel purrs and he moves himself, until he feels there’s no space left between their bodies.

“I love you.” Dean whispers into Castiel’s ear.

“I love you.” Castiel says. He catches one of Dean’s hands and he kisses the back of his palm.

Dean smiles and he snuggles his head, so Castiel’s hair isn’t touching his mouth and tickling him. Then he tightens Castiel. He likes how safe he feels with Cas in his arms, when they are covered by the sheets and the quilt. With Cas sleeping calmly in his arms, with his overwhelming and wonderful smell, Dean falls asleep too, and the pain fades away as slumber reaches him.


	38. Christmas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As awalys, a big thank you to everyone who reads, leaves kudos, bookmarks, leaves a comments and or subscribes :)

“Holy fucking shit of hell.” Dean complains as the alarm clock rings. It isn’t an unusual morning, so Dean, like always, scouts the alarm clock with all his anger.

“Damn it Dean, why don’t you swear a little bit more?” Castiel mumbles against Dean’s skin. He snuggles, pressing his body against Dean even more, tangling his legs with Dean’s. Definitely Dean has given him the bad habit of lingering in bed. He knows he has to get up, because even if Dean is sleepy, he will seize the occasion, grab Castiel and kiss him over and over again, as if they didn’t have to rush for breakfast. But it’s Dean’s fault; he is so warm and it feels too god to be with him, covered by the sheets and the quilt, avoiding the cold of the room that it is almost impossible for Castiel to get up. He is starting to question how he is able to do it the rest of the mornings.

Dean smiles in his usual cocky way and he nuzzles Castiel’s hair, tickling himself with it. “Y’know I can swear even more.” He teases. His voice is still pasty; he is still fighting reluctantly against the slumber.

Castiel arches one eyebrow, giving him a sassy face, something that makes Dean’s smile get wider and more teasing. “Fuck you.” He says really serious.

Dean laughs happily and bright, heartwarming Castiel, and then, Dean places his hand on Castiel’s nape, he pushes him down to his mouth and he kisses him passionately. “Love it how the word ‘ _fuck_ ’ sounds when you say it.” He plays with Castiel’s lower lip, feeling how Castiel smiles.

“We should get up.” Castiel reminds him before leaning to kiss Dean again. Damn Dean and his addicting mouth. Damn Dean and his smiles. Damn Dean and his everything.

“Seems you don’t want to.” Now Dean’s the one who arches his brow. He knows well that Cas is trying to linger in bed as much as he can, even if the back of his mind is telling him it is time to get up. But Castiel enjoys this as much as Dean and he hates that he has to stop doing it.

Castiel sighs and leans his forehead on Dean’s. “Why do you have to be so tempting?”

“Hey, don’t blame me! As if you weren’t tempting too!” He complains. Castiel laughs and he presses a brief kiss to Dean’s lips.

“Okay, I’m getting up. This time it is for real.” He starts to remove the quilt. He is about to get up, but Dean doesn’t let him. Dean pushes him down gently and he rolls over, ending up above Castiel and he starts to press kisses on Castiel’s mouth, on his neck, on his cheeks, on his temples, wherever he can.

Castiel should be fighting against this, but instead he laughs and he traces down Dean’s arms or he plays with his hair. He loves when Dean is this playful, cuddle and affectionate.

“Dean.” He says in between laughs. Dean’s kisses are quick and ticklish, and they feel awesome. “Dean.” He repeats with another laugh and Dean thinks it sounds too awesome to hear his name this happy and this bright.

“Okay.” Dean says after a while. “I can leave you now to get up.” He rolls over, letting Cas free of his body. But Castiel rolls over and he kisses Dean sweetly and then, he gets up.

He walks towards the wardrobe to pick up clean clothes as Dean gets up and stretches himself a few times. Castiel walks fast until he is close to Dean and he caresses the skin of his waist. Dean’s t-shirt raises when Dean stretches and it leaves uncovered the beautiful freckled skin. Dean smiles at him and Castiel blushes a little bit. Dean kisses him briefly and stirs his hair before starting to make the bed. Castiel, meanwhile, goes to the bathroom; like every morning, except the ones when Dean joins him in the shower.

It has been more than a week since Jo beat them up. It took them time to completely heal, a lot of new bands and a lot of antiseptic, but finally, after ten long days, the wounds and the bruises have disappeared. Although Dean feels a small sore once in a while in his nose, especially when it is really cold, but it seems that it is starting to fade away slowly. As long as it doesn’t hurt when he kisses Cas, he is fine with it.

Once Castiel’s turn in the bathroom is over and then Dean’s, they go to the kitchen, not before kissing passionately; it is something they have to do every morning before they leave the bedroom. As they walk towards the kitchen, Castiel looks at the calendar and he sees that today is 24th of December.

“It is Christmas eve.” Castiel murmurs. Dean turns his face in confusion and Castiel points him the calendar.

“Is it already 24th?” Dean says shocked. He came to this house in summer, where July was about to end and without noticing it at all, it is already December. Time flies. Dean didn’t expect that time could pass this fast. It might be because he has Cas, because if Cas wasn’t there, time would pass fucking slowly.

They keep walking to the kitchen. “Then we won’t be having dinner today.”

“What?” He sounds shocked about that too.

Castiel sits down on his usual spot and Dean sits too, in front of him. “They will prepare sandwiches for the slaves, well, the male slaves.” He starts to explain. He serves himself some milk with cereals and Dean waits for Cas to release the milk so he can serve himself. “Every Christmas eve, some relatives come to the house. Crowley wants privacy, so he makes the slaves from the kitchen to prepare sandwiches so slaves can eat them in their bedrooms.”

“Why?” He asks with his mouth full. Castiel glares him and Dean swallows. “Sorry. It is bad manners, I know.” He says imitating Castiel’s voice.

Castiel kicks his leg a bit harder than usually and Dean grunts and makes an annoyed face. “You are an assbutt.”

Dean rolls his eyes. “Okay, keep telling me the boring Christmas story.”

Castiel sighs. “Well, he does that because he doesn’t want slaves to enjoy a proper Christmas dinner, so every slave must go to his bedroom and don’t disturb any of the guests. But women are the only ones who must stay in the kitchen and in the dining room to attempt all their needs.”

Dean makes a confused grimace. “So tonight, when we finish our job, we come to the kitchen, pick some sandwiches and we go to our bedroom, right?”

“Right.”

“What a great way to celebrate Christmas.” He says sarcastically.

“Are you Christian?” Castiel asks confused.

Dean shakes his head. “No. I don’t believe in God, but I like Christmas. Snow, cookies, the family, plenty of wonderful food, presents… But I guess this year we don’t have any of that.” His voice breaks a little with that. Dean turns his eyes down to the bowl of cereals with milk. “This is the first Christmas without Sammy.”

“Dean—” He is about to reach Dean’s hand but Dean pulls away.

“Not here, Cas. Please, not here.” He sounds so wrecked. When he looks at Castiel’s eyes, Castiel can see they are glassy and they are starting to be red. Then, Dean takes a needy breath and he looks up. He really doesn’t want to start crying in the freaking kitchen.

But it hurts to know that Sam won’t be with them in the next Christmas. Dean remembers how Bobby, Sam and he, and this last year Sam’s girlfriend, Jess, met at Bobby’s and they spend the afternoon cooking; Dean makes wonderful food, nobody left anything on their plates, if there was any leftover it was because they were full, but Sam or Bobby always picked the leftovers so they could eat them the next day. The dinner was always filled with joy, with laughs, with happiness and even with a couple of insults, but in a good way. It was great. But Sam won’t be there again ever.

Dean stands up abruptly and he starts to walk out of the kitchen. Castiel follows him with his eyes and then, he stands up too. He knows all the slaves are looking at him, trying to find an explanation, but he doesn’t give a damn about it; he needs to comfort Dean, to make him feel better.

He goes to their bedroom and he finds Dean in the bathroom. He has his hands leaning on the sink, looking down at it. Castiel approaches him slowly and he stands next to him. When Dean doesn’t move or say anything, Castiel cups his face and he turns it.

“Dean.” Castiel starts to say. That’s when Dean throws himself at Castiel’s arms and Castiel hugs him tightly.

Dean presses his face on Castiel’s shoulder and he fists Castiel’s sweater. He starts to cry and Castiel tightens him. Dean needs to let out all that pain, he needs to take away that pain from his heart, so he sinks in Castiel’s arms, in the comfort his Cas gives to him.

Castiel kisses Dean’s temple and then, he speaks. “Just let it out, Dean. I’m here. Don’t worry.”

Dean keeps crying for a while. It isn’t long. When all the sobs his throat was craving to let out and all the tears have fallen down, Dean pulls his head away from Castiel’s shoulder, but he doesn’t stop embracing him. “Sorry Cas, I—” Dean starts to say.

“Don’t apologize, Dean.” Castiel starts to say. He places his hands on Dean’s face and with his thumbs he wipes off the tears trail. “I know how important Sam was for you and it isn’t easy to forget him and it hurts to remember and to realize things.”

Dean closes his eyes and he takes a needy breath. “Yeah.”

Castiel kisses him sweetly and gently. “I love you.”

Dean smiles in a genuine way. “I love you too.” He hugs him again and Castiel starts to comb with his fingers Dean’s hair. “Thanks for everything Cas, I don’t know what I would do without you.”

“The same I would do without you.”

Dean smiles and he pulls away. “Guess we missed the whole time for breakfast.” He says annoyed.

“I don’t think we have time to finish it.” He makes a sad grimace.

Dean rubs his face. Then he exhales sharply. “Well, we have to go to work.”

“Are you sure that you will be all right?” He asks stopping Dean. Castiel’s voice is all worry.

“Yeah. Because my boyfriend is fucking awesome.” He answers with a huge smile.

Castiel blushes a little. “Shut—” But he is interrupted by a lovely kiss. “up.” He finishes. He smiles timidly and then, they go to their respective places of work.

Dean tries not to think about Sam too much, but he can’t. Memories keep coming and even if Dean tries to focus only on the car, he can’t. It is Christmas and Sam is dead. It fucking hurts. This date is a constant reminder about Sam’s loss and all the things he isn’t doing tonight. He wants to be at Bobby’s, having dinner in that table, with Sam, with Bobby, with Jess and with Cas. Oh Cas, he would have enjoyed it. Dean’s eyes start to water again and he rubs them fast. He doesn’t want to cry again.

He and Cas are going to get out; there are a lot things left to do, but hopefully, they will get out of the house soon, before next Christmas. Then, the two of them and Bobby will celebrate it. But Sam will be still missed. A lot. Sam will always be missed.  
But this is his first Christmas with Cas. Well, it isn’t a proper Christmas, the only thing that looks like it is, it is the date, but there isn’t any Christmas spirit in the house and much less, for slaves. Anyway, it is their first Christmas together. Dean should stop being so depressed; he is sure that Cas has never enjoyed any Christmas, and if he did, it was a long, long time ago. Dean can’t be crying and sad all the time. He should be happy because at least he has Cas, the sun of his life, and did he already think that cheesy thing? Dean smiles and shakes his head. He has fallen so deep for that blue eyed man.

Definitely, Dean should cheer up, just for Cas. They can’t have anything Christmas-ish, they are even going to have sandwiches for suppertime, for fuck’s sake, but maybe they should do something special, but what? The last time they did something special was on Cas’ birthday; Dean picked some berries and he gave them as a present to Cas, who loved it. He even hugged him. That was before they started to be together. They also danced as Dean hummed. It was ridiculous but they laughed a lot.

Dean doesn’t know what to do, well, he knows that having sex will be a great way to celebrate Christmas, but Dean wants something else for Cas, something nice and special, a gift or something like that. The problem is where is he going to find a gift? He isn’t going to give him berries again, Dean has to do something different, but what?

He looks around the garage, looking for something that inspires him. As if he could find something for Cas in the garage. What is he thinking about? But suddenly, when he sees some big silver nuts, an idea comes to Dean’s mind. He tries the biggest nut in his finger and it fits him perfectly. Dean smiles brightly. He can make a ring out of the nut. It won’t be perfect, but Cas will have a ring made by Dean. That sounds great. He will only need the welder to turn it into a ring. And he has the whole afternoon for that. He will work later on it, because Cas will arrive soon at the garage and Dean doesn’t want Cas to see him red-handed.

Castiel arrives at his usual time. The sound the door makes when it is pulled up by Cas, tells Dean that he is here. “Hello Dean.” Castiel greets.

“Hey Cas.” Dean says with a bright smile, that smile that always appears when he sees Cas; Dean can’t help it.

“Are you better?” He asks worried as he approaches Dean.

Dean nods. “Yeah, I am.”

“Good.” He smiles. Then, Castiel strokes Dean’s shoulder gently and Dean seizes the occasion to give him a quick kiss on his lips. Castiel blushes a little and he makes a sassy face. “I was wondering how much it will take you to do that.”

Dean laughs. “Yeah? Next time don’t be this irresistible.” He bites his lower lip as he looks at Cas, wishing he could kiss him everywhere.

Castiel blushes even more and he pouts. “I hate you.”

“You don’t.”

“Yes, I don’t.” He cups Dean’s face and he kisses him passionately. Dean smiles happily when they are no longer kissing. “We should go to the kitchen before we start doing something beyond kisses.” He whispers and he walks towards the door that leads to the hall.

Dean laughs softly. “Yeah, we better.”

Dean actually feels better. He isn’t going to forget Sam, he will never forget him, but he knows his brother would have loved that Dean kept carrying on. Dean thought he was never going to be able to put up with his life again, but Cas has helped him to go through and Cas gives him every day a reason to smile. That’s more than Dean expected; so much fucking more. He has to keep walking; Sam will be present in Dean’s mind every single day, always, but Dean has to carry with the load of Sam’s death, and he knows that Castiel will help him with that weight. He has been helping him to carry it since they became friends.

In a perfect world, Sam would be still alive, Cas and Dean would be free and all of them would have great lives. But unfortunately, it isn’t like that and Dean can’t live from fantasies or live in the past. It isn’t healthy.

Dean smiles at Cas as they walk towards the kitchen. Castiel catches Dean’s smile and he smiles too, in a bright and happy way. He is glad to see Dean is better. He is so happy about it.

Lunch consists on soup, Dean repeats two times; it is a cold day and soup feels great in his body, also he is really hungry. Castiel dedicates him a sassy face and Dean chuckles, which makes Castiel to roll his eyes and finally smile. He would do more than smiling at him, like kissing him or caressing him, but the kitchen isn’t the place for it.

When they finish their lunches, Castiel goes to the garden and Dean goes to the garage. But Dean isn’t going to work on the car; he is going to use the welder to make a ring for Castiel out of a nut. Dean hopes that Crowley doesn’t appear in the garage, because he will see what he is doing, he will start question things and Dean doesn’t really want to know where that will lead him. Maybe he should pretend that he is working on the engine as he works on that nut ring. Yes, he will better do that. You never know.

Dean picks the nut, the welder and the welding mask. Then, he opens the hood of the car and he starts to work on the nut carefully. It takes almost an hour to turn it into a ring. He has to remove the polygonal shape and try to leave it as clean as possible. Also he has to try not to shrink the size of the hole, otherwise, if won’t fit on Castiel’s finger.

When Dean thinks it is as perfect as possible, he stops and he removes the welding masks. He looks at the ring, without touching it, it is still too hot for that. It isn’t a fancy ring, it is a simple one, and it is so far to look like one from a jewelry, but Dean thinks Castiel will like it.

After waiting for a long time to let it cool, Dean finally catches it and he puts it on his finger. It fits him, so it will fit Castiel. Dean smiles at it and then, he saves it in his pocket.

The rest of the evening goes like always and Cas arrives at his time to tell Dean it is suppertime; so Dean starts to gather up everything so he and Cas can go to the kitchen, although tonight they won’t have dinner in the kitchen, they will have to eat the sandwiches in their bedroom.

When they are in the kitchen, there are several plates with a lot of sandwiches. There are vegetable sandwiches, ham and cheese grilled sandwiches, Russian salad sandwiches, tuna with tomato sandwiches, bacon and cheese grilled sandwiches, bacon lettuce and tomato sandwiches, meatball sandwiches and tortilla sandwiches. They aren’t too big, but Dean’s mouth starts to water when he sees all of that and his eyes go wide. It has been months since he ate sandwiches and all of them look delicious.

“Are they for us?” Dean says unbelieving and looking at all the sandwiches.

Castiel smiles; Dean’s face is something to see right now. “They are.” He can’t help a small laugh as he talks.

“And how much can we take?” He turns his face to see Cas, who is smiling so happily. It warms his heart to see Dean like this, like a little kid.

“Not more than twenty.”

“Are you serious?” His mouth opens widely.

Castiel is fighting so hard not to laugh right now. “Yes I am serious, Dean.” It is true, the rule it is not to pick more than twenty sandwiches. Everyone knows it, except Dean, because this is his first Christmas in the house, and hopefully it will be the last one. “You can have twenty at most. Although I don’t know how you are going to carry all those sandwiches to the bedroom.” He arches one eyebrow.

“I can juggle.”

“You know, I don’t think I’m going to eat twenty, but I can pick twenty and give you the ones I’m not going to eat.”

Dean’s eyes open even wider, no one of them could think Dean’s eyes could be that opened. “You are the best. I love you.” Dean whispers, he is about to kiss him, but he realizes that they are in the kitchen and he stops before it is too late. Dean starts to breathe a bit heavily. “Okay, I’m gonna start picking sandwiches.” He says with a childish voice filled with joy.

Castiel shakes his head and he smiles. “I’m going to pick a lot of napkins. You should pick some too.” He says. And when he sees Dean, he has already in his hands like ten sandwiches. There's no one like Dean.

After choosing their sandwiches and picking a lot of napkins, they go to their bedroom, being so careful not to drop any sandwich. They can’t have dishes because they aren’t allowed, so they have to carry their sandwiches on their hands, arms or wherever they can. The problem comes when they have to open the bedroom’s door. Dean has to open it with his foot while Castiel looks at him as if he was insane, but Dean manages to open it with his foot and he makes a huge smug smirk.

Castiel laughs. “I don’t even know how that was possible.”

“I’m full of surprises, Cas.” Dean says with a cocky voice and winking an eye.

“Yes, you are.”

They get in the bedroom and they leave the sandwiches on the bed while Castiel locks the door. Meanwhile, Dean puts some napkins on the bed, so the crumbs won’t annoy them later and then, he puts the sandwiches above the napkins.

“They smell pretty good.” Dean murmurs as he closes his eyes and lets the smells get into his nose.

“They are usually really good.” Castiel says. He sits on the bed and he starts to take off his boots; Dean does the same. When their boots are taken, they sit with their legs crossed on the mattress, facing each other. Dean looks at the sandwiches, undecided and Castiel smiles as he grabs one of his. “Don’t you know which one to eat first?”

“No. They all look tasty.” He bites his lip in a guilty way. Dean has picked every different sandwich and it is so hard to choose. Finally, he decides to eat the ham and cheese grilled sandwich. He makes a moan as he eats it. “Wow.” He says with his mouth full. “I missed sandwiches.”

“Don’t start moaning like when you ate bacon at the hotel.” Castiel says. And Dean swears he sounds a little jealous.

“Are you jealous, Cas?” He teases arching a brow.

Castiel makes his sassiest face. “I can make you moan louder and you know it.”

“Yeah, you can.” Dean laughs. “But you get a bit jealous when I moan with food.”

Castiel rolls his eyes. “Are you sure you aren’t going to have indigestion for eating all of these?”

“Nah, one time I ate like thirty burritos and nothing happened.”

Castiel looks at him shocked. “What kind of boyfriend do I have?”

Dean laughs loudly and Castiel smiles timidly. “You knew what you were getting into when we started to be together.” He picks another sandwich. Usually, the food in the house isn’t awesome, but those sandwiches are. And Dean is going to eat as much as he can and enjoy them.

“Yes, I knew.” Castiel starts another of his sandwiches. “But there are still a lot of things about you that I have to know. You keep surprising me.”

“You keep surprising me too. But if everything goes well, we have a whole life to know everything about us and to keep surprising each other.” He blushes a little as he says that.

Castiel looks at him with lovely eyes and he makes a genuine smile. “I love how that sounds.”

They keep talking about a few more things, as they eat the sandwiches; Castiel leaves Dean eight sandwiches that Dean eats with devotion. Of course, Dean thanks Cas over and over that he picked all of these for him. When Dean finishes, Castiel stands up and collects all the napkins to throw them at the toilet. Meanwhile, Dean stands and he picks the ring, waiting for Cas.

Castiel gives Dean a confused look as he approaches him. “What?”

“I got a present for you.” Dean says smiling. He feels a bit nervous about this. He thinks that Cas is going to love the gift, but Dean can’t help feeling nervous.

“Dean, I don’t have a gift for you.” He sounds devastated.

“Cas.” Dean starts to say. He walks the few inches in between them and he looks directly at Castiel’s eyes. “You don’t have to give me anything.”

“You don’t have to give me anything either.”

“Shut up.” He says sweetly and Castiel glares him a little. “It isn’t a big thing, but I wanted to give you something special.” He starts to say. He grabs Castiel’s hand and with his other hand, he puts the ring on the palm of Castiel’s hand. Castiel looks at it surprised and then, he looks at Dean, waiting for an explanation. “I made it out of a nut. I have a ring at home, a silver one that belonged to my mother. It looks like this, although this one isn’t as good as that one but— y’know, I wanted you to have something special, that no one else had.” He says. Castiel starts to put on the ring on his finger. “Something made by me.” Dean adds.

“Dean, I love it.” Castiel says looking at his hand with Dean’s ring. He can’t believe Dean did this. He is just wonderful. Then, he looks at Dean and he dedicates him a beautiful smile. “Thank you.” He places his hands on Dean’s nape and he kisses him passionately. “I feel bad for not having a gift for—” But Dean shushes him by putting his index finger on his lips.

“Shut up. Consider those sandwiches you gave me like my present.” He says.

Castiel makes a smile and nods. Then, he moves away Dean’s finger from his mouth and he kisses him passionately again. It doesn’t take them too long to start walking towards the bed as they kiss. Dean places Castiel on the mattress and then, he places himself above Cas, without stopping the kiss, even if it is a bit clumsy, but they don’t care.

They take off their clothes fast, tracing down with their hands their warm skin with hungry hands. Dean kisses Castiel everywhere he can; Castiel’s jaw, his neck, his chest, his nipples, his shoulders, his collarbone, his arms, his tummy… Everywhere he can. And Castiel moans and he lets out that delicious soft laugh that Dean loves. Soon, Castiel rocks his hips, rubbing his hard cock against Dean.

Dean moves fast from Cas to pick the lube and he hands it to Castiel, who frowns confused at the bottle and then at Dean. “Just apply it to you.” Dean says impatiently.

“But you are on top.” Castiel murmurs confused.

Dean smiles in an innocent way. “I wanna ride you tonight.”

It seems that Castiel doesn’t stop being confused with that explanation. “Isn’t that verb supposed to be only applied to animals or vehicles?”

“Cas, just—” Dean exhales sharply, a bit desperate. His boyfriend is still too awkward sometimes. He loves it, but sometimes, when Dean has to spell things to Cas, it is a bit weird. “You will see, okay?”

“Okay.” He nods. He opens the tap and he squeezes the bottle, letting the jelly to drop down to his hand. He starts to spread it, wondering what Dean has in mind, but he is sure they are going to enjoy it.

As Castiel spreads the lube on his cock, Dean watches it with wide eyes and he bites his lower lip. Castiel gives him a perky smile when he sees Dean’s gaze fixed on his hand moving on his cock. After that, Dean places Castiel’s legs in between his knees, which are pressed down in the mattress. Then, Dean guides Castiel’s hand to his hole.

“Open me up.” Dean whispers.

Castiel starts to open him. The first finger gets in easily and soon a second one joins it and Dean starts to moan as Castiel’s fingers touch him, going further and Dean fucks into them softly and slowly until he feels them touching his prostrate. Then, a third finger gets in and the movements are the same. It goes like that with the fourth finger, although this time Castiel scissors them and Dean stars to fuck into the fingers a bit faster.

“I’m ready Cas.” Dean pants.

Castiel gets out of Dean his fingers and he cleans his hands with the toilet paper they keep in the drawer. When he finishes, he looks at Dean’s eyes, which stare him back, those gorgeous green eyes, darkened by the pupils right now, and Dean smiles him in that lovely way of his before he pushes himself down, getting Cas’ cock inside of him.

They start to pant a little, as if they were breathless. Dean places his hands on Castiel’s chest and Castiel grabs Dean’s thighs tightly. Dean stops moving when he feels Castiel’s whole cock inside of him. Dean closes his eyes for a moment and he bites his lip before exhaling sharply. When he opens his eyes, he can see Cas has his lips parted and his chest is moving up and down heavily. Then, Dean starts to ride Cas.

Castiel wasn’t expecting this; he wasn’t expecting Dean to be rocking his hips in those wonderful and pleasurable thrusts, shaking his whole body, moving in Castiel’s cock, fucking into it with extraordinary thrusts. Dean is really warm and tight and this feels great. Dean is riding his cock and Castiel can’t think properly, because this feels too much and he loves it.

Dean alternates his hands from Cas’ chest to his hips, not knowing where to place them exactly. Riding Cas feels too fucking great that it drives Dean crazy. He tilts his head up, closes his eyes and he bites his lower lip. Castiel digs his nails on Dean’s thighs and he looks at Dean, all flushed, biting his lip for a moment until he has to part his mouth to let out a pant or a moan with Cas’ name on it. But his eyes are still closed.

“Dean.” Castiel starts to moan. It is so hard to talk; he isn’t sure if he is breathing or not, he only feels the warmth exploding and expanding in his chest, the tingling in his limbs and how Dean gives him pleasure with all his body. “Dean.” Castiel manages to say again. This time it sounds needier. He moans a muffled sound because goddamn, Dean doesn’t stop for a moment and it feels too good. Castiel manages to place his hands on Dean’s hips. “Look at me, please.” He finally says.

Dean exhales sharply and he tilts his head down. He opens his eyes and he looks at Cas, who looks gorgeous all flushed and moaning. Dean moves his hands back to Castiel’s chest, almost where shoulder and neck meets and he starts to rock his hips harder. His knees are going to ache, but right now it doesn’t matter because this feels too awesome. He doesn’t take his eyes off Castiel’s, he only closes them for a moment, when the pleasure is too high, but it is only for a few seconds. Nevertheless, Castiel digs his nails harder when Dean closes his eyes. Dean can’t blame him; he loves when they are making love and they are staring at each other’s eyes.

Castiel doesn’t know where he founds the strengths, but he manages to rise as Dean keeps riding him. He kisses Dean briefly, until their moans break it and he cups Dean’s face and Dean presses them together, feeling chest against chest, without stopping fucking into Castiel’s cock. Castiel curves his back and tilts his head up while Dean holds him by the small of his back. Castiel lets out a loud moan and he drops himself back to the mattress slowly.

“Cas—” Dean moans. His hands don’t stop touching Cas, there is a lot to touch, too much warm skin to feel as Dean rides him. “Cas, oh fuck—” He closes his eyes for a brief moment and he tilts his head down, parting his lips as he keeps rocking his whole body.

“Dean, oh my—!” Castiel moans loudly when Dean clenches so much around his cock. He arches his back and he digs his nails on Dean’s skin. It is going to leave bruises, but Dean really likes it.

Dean keeps riding him; he is about to come, his cock is itching for it, but he wants a bit more of this, fuck, Cas even has his hands on his ass, helping him to ride him better. Dean needs to feel Cas’ cock hitting that sweet spot again and he needs to see Cas with those dark eyes, panting, moaning his name, looking this fucking gorgeous. Dean doesn’t last too much and he soon comes and Cas holds him tightly. Dean has come, there are stars crashing behind his eyeballs, the blank fills his mind, but he keeps riding Cas until he makes him come.

Cas comes no longer before Dean and he contracts for a while until his whole body relaxes and he bends one of his knees unconsciously. He is still inside of Dean, who is panting heavily, and he is even trembling a little, Cas is it too, but he is still in the heat of coming that he hasn’t realized about it yet.

“Did you—” Dean starts to say; he still needs to catch his breath. “Did you like this?” He asks with hurried words before he takes a needy breath.

“Yes.” Castiel lets out the word in a pant. He still has his eyes closed and he searches for Dean’s hands blindly. “It was really good.” He exhales desperate. He has done this with Dean several times, but he always feels as if he hasn’t breathed for years after making love.

Dean moves away and he lies down, next to Castiel, who is still panting. Dean holds Castiel’s hand and then, he kisses Castiel’s cheek. “I left you fucking exhausted.” He laughs. It isn’t his usual laugh, it is a panting one, but still, Castiel loves how it sounds and he can’t help smiling at it.

“You always leave me exhausted.” He turns his face and opens his eyes to see Dean’s looking at him with those happy and lovely eyes. “I should try to ride you one of these days.” He smiles in a half happy half shy way.

Dean leans into Castiel’s mouth to give him a kiss. “I’m glad you liked it.” He nuzzles Castiel’s nose slightly. He really likes doing that, mostly because of Castiel’s adorable squinty eyes and that pretty cute smile his lips draw when Dean does it.

“Although I missed having you closer.” He confesses as he places his head on the crook of Dean’s neck. He rolls over, so he can be lying aside and he can caress Dean’s chest with his hand. He loves cuddling with Dean after sex.

“Yeah I know. I just wanted to ride you I—” But he is shushed by Castile’s index finger.

“Dean, I really found it pleasurable, arousing and satisfying.” He starts to say with those bright eyes of his. “I really enjoyed it and found it really awesome, as you would say.” That makes Dean smile. “I wouldn’t be disturbed at all if you did it again.” He adds with that cocky smile he sometimes does. “In fact I would really like repeating it.” Now he looks shy and Dean wants just to kiss him but Cas still has his finger on his lips. “It is only that I love it more when you and I are pressed together, body with body, feeling us everywhere, without any space left.”

Dean pulls Castiel’s finger away and he finally kisses him passionately. “I feel the same.” It is true. He hates when there is something in between them, space, air, clothes… Anything that isn’t their skins touching. They need to touch and to feel each other all the time.

Dean tugs Castiel closer to his body, feeling his warmth and Castiel purrs, which makes Dean to laugh softly. Then, Dean grabs the toilet paper and he cleans the mess of his come in his belly. After that, he switches off the lamp and with the help of Cas, they cover themselves with the sheets and the quilt. Castiel cuddles Dean and smiles against his skin.

“This has been the best Christmas of my life by far.” Castiel whispers. Dean can tell by his voice that Cas is going to fall asleep soon.

Dean runs his fingers thought the sweaty mess of Castiel’s hair and he smiles. “I’m happy to hear that.” He presses a kiss in Castiel’s head.

“I love you.” He says sleepy and settling himself on Dean’s body.

“I love you too Cas.” He kisses him on the lips before Castiel finally surrenders to slumber. It earns him a beautiful smile in the kiss. “Sleep, Cas.”

“Sleep well, love.”

Dean opens his eyes surprised. Cas has his eyes closed, but the bastard is smiling because he knows Dean wasn’t expecting that. There’s a huge warmth in Dean’s body spreading everywhere nicely and fast. Dean finally smiles and tugs Castiel closer to him, leaving no space in between them and Castiel’s smile gets bigger.

“Okay, love.”

And Castiel kisses him sweetly before they fall asleep easily.


	39. Talkative Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, for the kudos, for the comments, the bookmarks and the subscriptions. I know I say it in every chapter, but I just want you to know how grateful I am.

The clothes were taken easily and quickly, as if they have been doing it over and over again for an eternity. Now they are naked, on their knees. Dean is behind Castiel, tracing down with his restless hands Castiel’s chest, them going up by his sides and Castiel moves his neck so he can make more room for Dean’s mouth, which is pressing hard but wonderful kisses on his skin.

“Dean.” Castiel moans needy. He inhales sharply when Dean starts licking the skin under his ear and he nails Dean’s thigh. “Dean.” He repeats. He lets then an ‘mmm’ that Dean loves too much.

Dean’s mouth starts to trace down with kisses Castiel’s back, kissing his spine, feeling his vertebrae when Castiel arches his back. As Dean does that, he embraces Castiel tightly and he starts to make circles with his thumbs on Castiel’s hipbones. Dean’s mouth walks the same path, but this time inverted, going up until he is back to Castiel’s shoulder and Cas turns his face and cups Dean’s face so he can kiss him properly and let his tongue inside of Dean’s mouth.

“So eager.” Dean whispers against Castiel’s mouth. Then, his hands grab the head of Castiel’s cock and he squeezes it gently, making Cas to let out a surprised moan and to press his body against Dean’s, feeling Dean’s incandescent chest touching his back.

“I need you, Dean.” Castiel says. He digs his nails in Dean’s scalp and he moves his face so their eyes can meet. Castiel’s chest rises and falls quite fast as he breathes needy. “I need you so bad.”

Dean kisses him and squeezes the head of Castiel’s cock again, making Cas to moan and squirm. Then, he searches for the lube and he spreads it on his cock and on his fingers. Once he has done that, he starts to circle Castiel’s hole and he gets one finger inside Castiel, who tenses at first but then, he starts to rock his hips, asking Dean for more, so Dean gets another finger inside Castiel, and this time, Castiel starts to moan and fuck into the fingers.

“You are so fucking gorgeous Cas.” Dean whispers into Castiel’s ear. Castiel moans as a response and places his hand above the hand Dean has on his belly. “You are so fucking beautiful.” Dean introduces the third finger and Cas moans louder when the fingers touch his prostrate.

“Dean. Oh— Dean—” Castiel moans desperate. He feels Dean’s lips kissing his skin, where shoulder and neck meet as his fingers keep doing marvelous things to him. “Ah— Dean—” He parts his mouth and lets out a desperate breath.

Dean gets out his fingers and he wipes them off. He kisses Cas passionately before starting to get his cock in his ass. When Castiel starts to feel Dean’s cock, he tilts his head up, resting his nape on Dean’s shoulder and he starts to inhale heavily. Dean holds Castiel’s hips, trying to hold him in place until he is fully settled inside Cas. Then, Dean starts to fuck him with hard but delicious thrusts.

“Dean!” Castiel moans loudly. He bites his lip and digs his nails on Dean’s butt cheeks as Dean keeps fucking him. “Dean, there— oh— Dean—”

Dean smiles proudly and happily and he keeps rocking his hips, fucking Cas hardly but lovely, feeling how Castiel’s body shakes in front of him, how Cas rocks his hips too, how he presses his head down in Dean’s shoulder and he keeps moaning Dean’s name in that too fucking arousing way and how he tightens around his cock.

Dean kisses his neck where the black leather collar isn’t and Castiel smiles. Then, one of Dean’s hands starts to trace his chest down, until it arrives to Castiel’s cock and Dean starts to jerk him off too. Castiel moans louder and shakes his whole body, without knowing what to do, because Dean’s hand feels awesome, but Dean’s cock feels even more awesome, and feeling both it is, well, Castiel can’t put it with words, but it feels beyond awesome and extraordinary. It is too much, but Castiel loves it.

“Holy fuck Dean!” Castiel moans when Dean’s cock touches his prostrate and his hand caresses his cock extremely great. He moans and then he exhales sharply, as if air was made of fire.

“Fuck, Cas, love it when you swear.” Dean confesses in his ear before biting Cas’ earlobe.

“Dean, fuck— fuck— Dean—” He can’t say any other words and they sound as if he was running out of air. And Dean loves the sounds and the words too much.

“Love it when you look like this.” Dean says hurriedly. He finds it hard to talk too. He fucks Castiel harder, touching that wonderful spot and Castiel’s back arches again, he shakes his whole body, his limbs tingle, he moans loudly Dean’s name and he digs his nails a little bit more on Dean’s skin.

Dean keeps fucking him, showing with his movements, with his touches, with his thrusts, with his kisses what he can’t say with words. He gives everything he has for Cas, pushing him down the cliff of pleasure and madness and Castiel takes it and gives Dean the same. Dean loves how Cas feels when he makes him love, it doesn’t matter if it is slowly or in this wild way; he loves it anyway and anyhow. He loves being inside Cas, feeling how he reacts, hearing the sounds he makes, seeing how fucking beautiful he looks. Dean loves this. Dean loves Cas.

Castiel moans again Dean’s name and he rocks his hips harder, trying to reach all that warmth that Dean gives him, feeling how Dean’s cock gets into him and touches that wonderful spot again. Castiel shakes his head back to Dean’s shoulder. He doesn’t know how he is still breathing, how his legs don’t collapse despite the fact that they are trembling. But Dean holds him with his free hand and approaches Cas to his body and all Cas can think is about how much he loves this and the man doing this to him.

Castiel moans loudly once again. Castiel needs to come, he isn’t going to last too much. His knees hurt from being in this position, his legs are trembling, but he feels too good with Dean fucking him like that, with Dean’s hand on his cock and the other hand on his hip, holding him in place. Also, Dean’s mouth is kissing him wherever he can reach and Castiel wants to last like this as much as he can.

Dean’s cock touches that wonderful spot again and Castiel can’t hold more. “I’m coming, Dean. I’m coming.” He says needy and desperate, digging his nails a little bit more.

“I’ve got you Cas.”

Castiel comes easily and his nails dig even a little bit more Dean’s skin. He orgasms and he tilts his head up, leaning it on Dean’s shoulder. He hears his heart beating and a sudden blank fills his sight. Dean’s hand is no longer on his cock, it is holding him. But Dean keeps fucking him in that wonderful way.

“I’m gonna come too, Cas.” Dean says in a wrecked voice.

Castiel’s hands move up until they are on the small of Dean’s back. “I’ve got you Dean.” He whispers.

Dean comes in Cas and he presses his forehead on Castiel’s shoulder and Castiel feels the sound of Dean’s orgasm on his skin, penetrating softly in his body. Dean is extremely hot and he is sweating, like Castiel, but he is also trembling. Castiel gasps as he feels Dean’s warm come filling him and then, Castiel presses him closer and Dean moves his hands up to Castiel’s waist, embracing him. Both of them bend over, letting their weight fall down to them. Castiel moves his hands to the mattress to hold himself and Dean.

“I love you.” Cas says panting exhausted.

“I love you.” Dean says with the same voice. He inhales desperate for air. It feels as if he hasn’t breathed for years. He is trembling, his legs are shaking and his knees hurt a lot; being in that stance while fucking Cas was pleasurable and arousing, but it leaves soreness in his legs. But it was worth. He gets out of Castiel, who whimpers and grunts. Having Dean inside of him, fading away his emptiness feels too great and warm that he hates it when Dean isn’t in him anymore. He knows Dean can’t stay inside him all night long, but he hates the loss of Dean inside his body.

“That was extraordinary.” Castiel says. He closes his eyes and he tries to pant in a less chopped way.

“It was fucking awesome.” Dean says. He kisses Castiel’s shoulder and then, he presses his forehead against Castiel’s temple. Castiel can feel Dean’s heavy panting. “This time it was body against body, skin against skin.”

Castiel smiles. “Yes, I really liked how you made me love tonight.”

“Say _‘fuck’_ , please. I love how you say it.” He nuzzles Castiel’s temple before kissing it.

“I thought you considered this more like making love than fucking.” He teases. He knows Dean loves when he swears, he finds it cute and arousing at the same time.

“It is, but you know I love it when you say the word _‘fuck’_.”

Castiel laughs and he turns his face so he can kiss him sweetly. “You are a fucking assbutt.” He says smiling.

Dean smiles widely and brightly and he kisses Cas in a breathtaking way. His lungs haven’t recovered enough air yet, but Dean doesn’t care, because he loves kissing Cas and leaving both of them craving for air. He tightens his grip on Cas and he feels how the bastard smiles and moves away his hands from the mattress to cup Dean’s face. “I love you.” Dean says again when they pull away.

Castiel presses a sweet kiss on Dean’s lips. “I love you.” He rests his forehead against Dean and he closes his eyes. “I’m really tired.”

“Let’s lie down, love.” He says. Castiel smiles with the pet name. Dean doesn’t call him love usually, only once in a while, but every time Dean calls him love, Castiel’s heart warms up a little.

They lie down and Dean hands Castiel paper toilet so he can clean the mess of his come. Then, Castiel makes a ball of it and throws it away. Tomorrow morning they’ll pick it up and flush it down the toilet.

Dean takes a deep breath and he rubs his face. “Fuck, I’m fucking exhausted.”

“It was really pleasurable, but it hurts a little our legs.” Castiel mumbles. He rolls over so he can lie aside. He starts to draw with his finger doodles on Dean’s belly, tickling him.

“Y’know, there are a lot of different positions we can make.” Dean starts to say. He rolls over so he can face Cas. They haven’t switched off the lamp yet. It seems that Cas is going to be awake for a while. He always gets really tired after coming, but he is getting used to it, so he can keep himself awake longer than the first times, when he only stayed awake for a couple of minutes after coming. “There are a lot of different ways of making love.”

“I would really like to try all of them.” Castiel confesses shyly. His cheeks turn into a light red color. Dean loves when he blushes. “Isn’t there a book about it?” He asks moving his eyes from the finger that keeps making different shapes on Dean’s belly to Dean’s eyes.

Dean nods. “Kamasutra. I could download it once we get to Sioux Falls.” He is excited about it. He never expected that Cas, after living that hell with that monster, could enjoy sex as much as he does and much less try to do a lot of different things during sex.

“That would be wonderful.” He approaches Dean, until the remaining space in between them is gone and he kisses him lovely. Dean can’t help smiling during the kiss. “I hope your bed is bigger than this one.”

Dean laughs. “Yeah it is.” He starts to caress Castiel’s side. He moves his arm and Castiel rises a little so Dean can put it under him and run his fingers through his hair, stroking his nape softly. Dean really loves touching him like this. And Castiel loves touching Dean, so he places one of his hands on Dean’s chest and keeps moving his fingers, as if he was drawing doodles with them. “But I thought you liked a small bed, so we can be pressed together.” He makes a funny voice and Castiel laughs.

“I do, but sometimes you take up the whole bed and you leave me only a few inches.”

Dean frowns and bites his lower lip guiltily. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay.” He presses another short but sweet kiss on Dean’s lips. “How is your home like?”

“It is not as big as this house.” He says looking at his hand, tracing down the curves of Castiel’s side. Cas is fucking gorgeous. “I don’t know if you will like it…”

“I will love it.”

Dean moves his eyes up to see Castiel’s. He means his words. “And why do you say so? It is small, but it is big enough for two people but—”

“Dean.” He interrupts. “I’ve been living in a bedroom for years. Yes I’ve been in huge houses, in mansions, but all I want is a home with you. I don’t care how small it can be. As long as it has a floor, walls and a ceiling, I’m happy. And I’ll be more than happy to call it our home.”

Dean makes a sweet and happy smile. “Our home. Yeah, it sounds awesome.” Oh fuck, it sounds more than fucking awesome. It makes Dean’s heart to skip a beat.

“Tell me about your home.”

“ _Our_ home.” He rectifies. Castiel smiles shyly and nods. Dean licks his lips before he starts to describe the house. “There is a long hall that leads to all the rooms. There’s a living room with a sofa, a television, a big bookshelf filled with books and DVDs from my favorite TV series and movies. There’s a small room with a computer, some merchandising from Star Wars, Doctor Who, Star Trek and things like that, with a few comics, my guitar—”

“Do you play the guitar?” He asks enthusiastic.

“Well, more or less.” He says. He knows how to play a few things, but nothing awesome. “I also have in that room a CD player and a vinyl record player. Also that room has a lot of records and a few posters on the walls.” He adds with a nostalgic smile. He looks at Cas, who is paying close attention to Dean’s descriptions, with a soft smile drawn in his lips. “There’s a small bedroom for guests. Sam used to sleep there when he came to visit me. There is a room for the washing machine, the drier and the boiler and that stuff, y’know? Then, there’s the kitchen, with a small table where we can eat, there’s the bathroom and my bedroom, well, our bedroom.” He smiles and Castiel’s gets wider. “A king sized bed, a big wardrobe, a few more books, the things you’ll find in a normal bedroom.” He takes a deep breath. He is willing to see Cas’ face when he sees their home for the first time. He imagines Cas going through everywhere, with a big smile on his face.

“There’s a garage, where I keep my babe and my tools.” Dean keeps explaining. “And there’s a backyard garden with a few trees. It isn’t a pretty one and it isn’t as freaking immense as the one here, but it is really nice, but I guess that you will manage to make it look fucking awesome with all your plants knowledge.”

Castiel smiles shyly. He would love to make them have a pretty garden. “I hope so.”

Dean kisses him softly and slowly, enjoying Cas’ lips on his. “I hope it won’t take us too long to get there, to get all the things we need and get out of here.” He whispers as he moves his lips, stroking Cas’ without kissing them.

“We still have a lot of to do.” He says. “We need to buy the sleeping pills, we have to find the right night, one when Crowley is out, we have to steal the key…”

“I know.” Dean sighs. “But everything will come at its right time.”

“Yes, I know, it is just that I’m impatient. I want to get out of here as soon as we can. I’m looking forward to. But we still have to take everything we need and find the best chance to run away.” He explains as he mirrors the same stroke of lips Dean made before. “And then, we will have all of that.”

“Yeah.” Dean says. He kisses Cas again, making him to hum a few soft happy noises. And Dean smiles happily when he hears him.

Castiel’s hand moves to draw the shape of Dean’s tattoo, a star that seems to be surrounded by the sun. “Has it got any meaning?” He asks without taking his sight away from the tattoo.

“My mother had a bracelet with this sign. She said it protected her from the evil.” He sounds nostalgic. He leans his forehead on Cas’ and he looks how his boyfriend keeps drawing the tattoo with his fingers, caressing him sweetly and gently. “Me and Sam got this tattoo, it was something we always wanted to do.” He takes a deep breath and he half closes his eyes. “Guess that it didn’t protect him from evil.”

Castiel cups Dean’s face and lifts it delicately, until their eyes meet. “Dean—”

“Sorry, I—” He closes his eyes and inhales sharply. “I miss him so fucking much, Cas.”

“I know you do.” He strokes Dean’s cheeks with the tips of his thumbs and Dean makes a tiny smile. “I’m so sorry that he had to come here and die.”

Dean takes another deep breath. “We should change the subject.” He says hurriedly. He looks at Castiel’s eyes, which are a bit glassy as well and they are sad. “I hate being like this and making you to feel bad too.”

Castiel kisses him in his usual soft way, telling Dean that it doesn’t matter, that everything is okay, that if he needs him, he will be here, and fuck, Dean knows that Cas will always be there for him. Dean will be there for Cas always.

“What an assbutt you are.” Castiel teases and Dean smiles.

“But I’m your assbutt.” Dean says with a hopeful voice.

“Of course you are.” He tugs Dean closer and they kiss passionately. They love kissing like that. Dean holds Cas tighter, approaching him closer, so they can feels skin against skin again and Castiel holds him tighter too.

After kissing, Castiel runs his fingers through Dean’s hair, petting it softly and Dean keeps stroking Castiel’s side, from his upper rib to his thigh. Then, Castiel caresses Dean’s lips and Dean presses little kisses to them, making Cas to giggle. Dean’s lips linger more on one of Cas’ fingers, the one with the ring of it.

“You haven’t taken it off once.” Dean mumbles against Castiel’s fingers. He kisses the ring before going back to kiss the finger.

“I’m not going to take it ever.” Castiel says. He pulls his hand away from Dean’s lips and he looks at the ring. “I love it.”

Dean smiles happily and he grabs Castiel’s hand. He starts to stroke the finger with the ring and he looks at it. “If somebody notices it, will they take it away?” He asks confused.

“Yes they can.” Castiel starts to say looking at it with a sad grimace. “I just hope nobody notices it: I really don’t want to have to give it away.” As he talks, Dean keeps touching the ring. “Somebody might think I stole it or bought it with stolen money.”

“Yeah, sure. I bet in the Brown Lands they sell a lot of rings made out of nuts.” He sasses.

Castiel kicks him softly and Dean groans as he squeezes his nose. “You’ve been here for half a year; you should know what I meant.” Now he is the one talking sassily.

“I know what you meant Mister Sass.” He rolls his eyes. Cas is about to kick him again, but Dean grabs his leg, immobilizing him, so Castiel glares him and Dean smirks. “What I was trying to say was that it is obvious that your ring isn’t from a jewelry, so why would they want to take it away?”

Castiel shrugs. “I don’t know. It would be suspicious. Appearing one day with a ring I didn’t have before is strange.”

“You could tell I gave it to you.” He says casually.

“And everyone would think we are engaged.”

Dean opens his eyes widely, being shocked. “That wasn’t the purpose.” He stutters. Suddenly, Dean blushes a lot, flushing spreading from his cheeks to his ears really fast, hiding the galaxy of freckles. And he starts to feel a sudden heat in all his body.

Castiel blinks perplexed; this is the first time he sees Dean this blushed. Usually Castiel is the one who blushes as much as Dean is right now, but Dean only blushes a little, not like this. “Dean why are you this blushed?” He tilts his head as he always does to bold his confusion.

“I—” Honestly, Dean doesn’t have any idea of why he is like this. He even feels nervous and his mouth is fucking dry. He hasn’t thought about marrying Cas, he isn’t a guy who likes marriage, it is just a stupid piece of paper and some rings that try to show in an iconic way what the couple feels, but it is a silly thing; the important thing is what they feel, there is no need for a paper or a ring to say that. But he can’t deny that giving Cas a ring doesn’t have to do with marriage a little. Dean swallows and he looks at Cas, who has a confused and expectant look.

“Marriage panics you a little, right?” Castiel finally says with a calculative look.

“It’s not panic, it’s just that I’m not a huge fan of it.” He rectifies. Castiel doesn’t say anything; instead, his confused sight intensifies. Dean sighs. “I don’t think that when you love someone you need a ring and a paper to show it. I don’t know Cas, I don’t need any of that to know that you love me and that you’ll always love me, y’know?”

Cas nods. “Yes. You are right.”

Dean looks at him impressed. “Really?”

“Really.” His smile is sweet and honest.

“So you’ll be cool if we don’t marry, right?” It is more a question than an assertion.

Castiel nods again. “I just want to be with you always. Married or not. I don’t care.” He rolls both of them until he is lying above Dean. He searches with his hands Dean’s and they hold them, tangling their fingers together. He kisses Dean slowly and sweetly. “I just want you Dean.” He mumbles against Dean’s mouth. He kisses Dean again, this time in a more passionate way and he tightens his hands. “All of you. Everything.” He whispers into Dean’s mouth with that voice that drives Dean crazy. “I want to love you.” He kisses him again. “I want you to love me.” Another passionate kiss.

“Fuck, Cas.” Dean says. Words come out easily, Dean needs to say all of these. “I will love you for fucking forever, you know it. I love you so fucking much. And I know you love me so fucking much.”

Castiel starts to rock his hips as he kisses Dean over and over again and Dean moans against his throat.

Dean is sure that if someone else who wasn’t Cas told him any of that, he would have freaked out, he wouldn’t have known what to say to those words, maybe words would have chocked in his throat, making him look as if he was stupid or something like that, or if he got lucky and his voice would have decided to make it out, he would have lied, or said some of his usual bullshit, like he doesn’t deserve any of those words or anything that would have come to his mind in the first moment. But nothing is like that. Fuck, he knows Cas means those words and Dean reciprocates the feelings and the words. And he wants to sink himself and take everything Cas is giving and willing to, more than Dean has ever wanted with somebody else in his whole fucking life.

This isn’t a crush, it moved from that a long time ago, it started to be something more than a crush before they got together, and Dean was at first so freaking scared of it, feeling something like that was new and so fucking huge, and Dean has such a low esteem of himself and he only expected to fuck things up, to screw Cas and to push him away accidentally, like he always does with people he cares or loves; but it didn’t turn out like that. And Dean is so fucking glad about it.

Dean fucking loves that blue eyed man who is kissing him now as if he was made of the oxygen his lungs are craving for. This is fucking huge and it should scare him, Dean should be afraid of this, but he hasn’t been surer of what he feels and wants before with someone. He wants everything from Cas; his soul, his mind and his body, he wants every single thing that makes Cas who he is, from the smallest to the biggest. He wants to spend the rest of his fucking life with him, love him even when his strengths are gone, he wants to love that man madly until the end of his days.

Castiel moves his hands from Dean’s hands to cup his face, so he can stroke that stubble he loves, feeling how Dean’s jaw moves as they kiss. Dean runs his fingers through Castiel’s hair desperate and needy, and with his other hand he pushes Cas a little bit down, erasing that annoying space in between their bodies, as if Dean was afraid of falling down, of breaking in millions of pieces, of Cas leaving, but nothing of that it is going to happen; nevertheless, he holds himself in Cas.

The movements are slow and lazy, but they are so fucking great. Dean must admit that he likes having some rough and hard sex once in a while, but he loves when he and Cas have that sweet and slow love making, taking their time to enjoy every single small thing they do. Dean would lie if he said otherwise.

When their lips are swollen, Castiel starts to press little kisses to all the freckles scattered on Dean’s cheeks and nose, making Dean to giggle because some of them tickle him a little. He also feels Castiel’s happy smile against his freckled skin as he presses small and wet kisses on every freckle; it is going to take him a while to kiss all of them and every single one, but they have all night long. Castiel really wants to kiss those gorgeous freckles, at least the ones on Dean’s cheeks.

After a while, Castiel keeps moving his mouth down, kissing that spot on Dean’s neck that he knows that it makes Dean to shake his whole body and rocks his hips unconsciously, leaving him almost breathless, asking for more, and Castiel, like the little bastard he is, smirks in that smug way of his, that smirk he only does with Dean. And Dean, has to taste that fucking proud smirk again.

Castiel’s hands trace down Dean’s chest, feeling the warmth it releases. Dean is his fire. His hands go down, until he strokes the sensitive skin of Dean’s thighs as he kisses gently Dean’s neck, just above the black leather collar. It doesn’t take them a lot to get hard.

Castiel starts to open him up sweetly, after spreading the lube on his hands and on his cock. The first two fingers come inside Dean easily, and Dean moans and rocks his hips in a needy way, asking for more and Cas’ fingers touch that sweet spot and Dean’s spine curves and his toes curl. Cas, like always gives him more, touching him in that sweet but too fucking arousing way, adding another finger, scissoring them inside Dean, opening him, until Dean starts to lose his mind, tucking Cas closer to his body, breathing in a difficult way and running his hands desperate, touching Cas everywhere he can.

“Cas, I’m ready, please—” Dean says as if with every word he was losing an important quantity of oxygen. “Fuck me.”

Castiel kisses him sweetly. He wipes off his hand without wasting a second. Dean puts his thighs around Castiel’s waist, pulling him closer to him and Castiel has to place his hands on the mattress, but they don’t linger too much on there, because Dean grabs them and they hold their hands together once again, something that makes Castiel to kiss in a lovely way Dean before he starts to fuck him in slow thrusts. Dean moans in a delicious way as he feels how Cas fades away his emptiness, slowly but perfectly.

When Cas is all inside Dean, he holds tighter Cas’ hands and he presses his forehead on Cas’, feeling his choppy breath in his mouth. Their chests move up and down heavily. They stare at each other with wide and dark eyes, as if they were each other’s universe, and fuck, they are it. They kiss in that slow but passionate way and Castiel starts to move inside Dean, with wonderful slow thrusts and Dean tilts his head up, pressing it down on the pillow.

Castiel keeps moving, getting his cock in and out of Dean, making Dean to feel that fucking addicting warmth in his chest that spreads quickly over his body, making his limbs to tingle, making his back to curve, making it impossible to say something that it isn’t Cas’ name. Dean rocks his hips again, finding a rhythm with Cas, colliding their hipbones once in a while. Dean wants to take all from Cas and Cas is going to give him everything and more.

Dean moans really loud, this time, apart from Cas’ name, there’s a swear. They keep looking at each other, except when the sensation is too intense that they have to close their eyes for a moment. Dean moves up to kiss Cas passionately, darting his tongue in Cas’ mouth just before he has to pull away to let out another loud moan that echoes in Castiel’s body and bones.

No one of them wants this to stop. Castiel’s thrusts start to be a bit faster and a bit harder, but not too much, they are still slow and they are so fucking arousing and delicious. It feels too fucking awesome, maddening, insane, addicting and a lot of more things that they can’t put into words but they say it with their bodies, with their touches, with their kisses and with their eyes.  
“Cas, I gotta come.” Dean mumbles with a wrecked voice, using all his strengths just to let out those words.

“Come, Dean, I’ve got you.” Castiel says with that sexy voice that Dean loves too fucking much.

Dean comes and he makes an orgasm with Cas’ name on it, it is a bit mumbled, but it sounds as perfect as always in Castiel’s opinion. Dean tightens at first, but them, he relaxes, surrendering to Castiel, feeling how the pleasure intensifies, how stars crash behind his eyeballs and everything right now is Cas and only Cas and it feels too fucking awesome and Dean is speechless.

“Dean—” Castiel says.

Dean overhears it and he places his hands on Castiel’s back, embracing him. “Come, you know I’ve got you, Cas.” Dean mumbles.

Castiel comes in Dean, experimenting the same Dean just feel about some moments ago, saying Dean’s name on the orgasm and the weight of his body falls down, but Dean holds him, like always. Their foreheads are touching and their noses are touching. They don’t know whose breath is the one they are feeling and they don’t even know where one body starts and where it ends. And it is fucking marvelous.

Castiel gets out of Dean, who grunts unpleased. The coldness and the emptiness reach him and he fucking hates it, but having Cas’ trembling body in his arms, breathing above him, with fast breathings that are turning into calmed ones slowly, feeling his heat, feeling his heart beating fast in his chest, it is worth. Dean inhales sharply, still trying to recover his breath and he holds tighter Castiel. He draws him down, desperate to feel Cas everywhere, to make disappear that stupid small amount of space in between them.

Castiel buries his face ion the crook of Dean’s neck. He nuzzles it and he starts to comb in a lazy way Dean’s hair. “I’m exhausted.” Castiel says opening slightly his eyes. He breathes against the sweaty skin of Dean’s neck. It is a hot breath and it tickles a little Dean.

“Me too. We haven’t had sex twice in a night since the first time we had sex.” Dean says. He searches lazily and clumsy for the toilet paper, but he gives up. Cas isn’t going to move away from his body and Dean is too tired to even clean himself. It will get sticky, but he can clean it tomorrow in the shower. So Dean just switches off and Castiel pulls the quilt and the sheets up, covering both of them. “It’s been a fucking great night.”

“Yes.” He laughs; it is a soft one, but it sounds perfect. “We should totally do this again.” He adds as he rests his hand on Dean’s shoulder, stroking it with his thumb.

“Twice a night?” He arches one eyebrow.

“Or more.” He teases.

Dean’s laughter echoes the room and both of them. “Do you think you’ll be able to hold for three in a row without falling asleep?”

“Maybe. I don’t know. If we don’t try it, we will never know.” He yawns and he closes his eyes. Then, he sighs. “Maybe if we go slow.” His voice is practicable inaudible. He is too tired and sleepy and he will surrender easily to sleep. He would like to stay awake, talk with Dean a little bit more, he is right now fighting against slumber, but it is so hard.

Dean presses a kiss in his head. “Sleep.”

Castiel purrs and he nods. Castiel falls asleep in a few seconds. It takes Dean a little bit more, but before he falls asleep, he catches Cas’ hand, the one with the ring and he holds it, making a tiny but happy smile.


	40. The Party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks a lot for reading, for the kudos, bookmarks, comments and subscriptions :)
> 
>  **Note:** In this chapter, there are three songs mentioned that you might want to listen to if you haven't heard them before. The **[first song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YGRO05WcNDk)** , the **[second song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BCTEx3w2_jU)** and the the **[fourth song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ynEOo28lsbc)**
> 
> Thanks so much to my friend Félix for helping me with these songs.

Dean grunts something impossible to understand. It is half a swear and half an onomatopoeia. He rolls over, and he turns off the alarm with his usual rage and he rolls over again, so he can be back holding Cas, who is the little spoon. Castiel smiles when he feels Dean nuzzling his hair and pressing Cas closer.

“Good morning, Dean.” Castiel says with a happy voice.

“Good morning, babe.” Dean mumbles with his rough morning voice.

Castiel rolls his eyes. “Don’t call me babe. I’m not a baby.” He complains. Dean started to call him ‘ _babe_ ’ a couple of days ago. He did it unconsciously; it came out easily.

“Cas, I thought I already explained you the difference between calling you babe and being a baby.” It is too early to repeat again that explanation and Dean isn’t fully awake yet.

Castiel rolls over so he is facing Dean, who grunts unpleased because he was really comfortable in that other position. “You did.”

“Then what’s the problem?” The question is almost inaudible and it sounds a bit muffled, but Cas has heard Dean talking like this for too many mornings that he can understand every single word he says.

“ _Love_ sounds better.”

“ _Love_ sounds cheesier.” Dean teases as he opens slightly his eyes. He sees Cas is glaring him.

“You don’t say that when I call you love.” He teases in an angry way.

Dean rubs his eyes and he moves a little bit, so he can be closer to Cas. “Because you are fucking cheesy.”

“As if you weren’t.” He snaps with sass.

Dean laughs and Castiel does it too. “How can you be so sassy this early? Fuck I can’t even open my eyes yet and you are already being a sarcastic little shit.”

“I love you too.” Castiel says with an annoyed sarcasm.

“Yeah, you love me.” He smiles and he starts to kiss Cas, who smiles. “You are an assbutt.” Both of them say at the same time. Castiel looks at him shocked. “Yeah, I knew that you were gonna say that.” Dean says proud. “I know you to fucking well.”

Castiel bites his lip and he smiles. He blushes a little. “You complain about me being sassy really soon and I should complain about you making me blush without even getting up.”

Dean’s laugh is filled with warmth and Castiel kisses Dean to feel that happiness; it always warms his heart up. “Fuck, I love you too much, love.” Dean says in the few seconds in between that kiss and the next one.

“And I love you too much, babe.” Cas says quickly too.

Both of them smile and they keep kissing. Dean starts to run his hands through Castiel’s hair and Castiel places his hands on Dean’s neck, so he can draw him closer. “Do you think we have time for a handjob or a blowjob?” Dean asks before he starts kissing Castiel’s jaw.

Castiel gasps for air and he closes his eyes, feeling those perfect kisses Dean gives him. “Maybe. I don’t know. We could take a shower together and do all of that.” He moves one of his hands until it is in Dean’s hair and he tightens his grip.

“We can do it in bed and then in the shower.” Dean says with a teasing voice.

Castiel laughs. “It is so difficult to say no to you when you are doing all of this.” He lets out a soft moan and then, Dean kisses him in the mouth, opening widely his mouth so their tongues can swirl together.

Castiel’s hands sneak under Dean’s Henley t-shirt, touching that warm skin. Dean is touching Castiel’s thighs, moving up slowly. He is about to caress Cas’ crotch when someone tries to open the door. Castiel and Dean pull away from the kiss and they look at each other.

“Get in the bathroom.” Dean murmurs. “Pretend that you are about to take a shower.”

“Dean, Castiel, open the door!” Jo says knocking the door in a hard way.

Castiel gets out of the bed really fast, without making any sound at all. He closes the bathroom door quietly and then, Dean gets up and approaches the door. He moves the bolt and Jo opens the door. She gives him her usual look, half desiring, half sick.

“What?” Dean says with a hateful voice.

“This early in the morning and you are already talking to me like that?” Jo says. Her voice sounds really pitched and it hurts Dean’s ears a little. “Where’s Castiel?” She asks looking around in the bedroom. She walks in and she places herself in the space in between both beds.

“In the bathroom.”

“Call him.”

Dean looks at her confused and he walks towards the door. He knocks it. “Cas!” Dean starts to say. “Jo is here! Are you presentable?!”

“How cute coming from you.” Jo says with an angry sarcasm.

“Yeah, well, not everyone is like you and starts to undress people to see them naked. I have something called respect.” He says with a cocky smile and voice.

Jo starts to walk towards Dean with a furious face. “Respect?! You?!” She spits every single word with all the rage she has. “How can you—”

Castiel opens the door and he looks at Dean and Jo. “What is it?” Castiel asks. He sounds disturbed but he hasn’t got Dean’s cocky tune.

Jo glares him, but not as much as Dean. She squeezes her nose before she speaks. “Tonight’s New Year’s eve and we are hosting a party, so all the men slaves will be the waiters.” She snaps her fingers and a woman slave appears with two tuxedos. Dean looks at him with a frown. The woman leaves the tuxedos on Castiel’s bed and Jo waves her hand so the woman can leave. “You’ll be wearing that. I guess there’s no need to say that you two should behave, right?” She says with a powerful and high pitched voice. “Many important people will come here and I don’t need any of your sass and arrogance. Do you understand?”

“Yes Miss Harvelle.” Dean and Castiel say at the same time, both of them sounding like they were really tired of Jo’s shit.

“I hope so.” She says with a sick look. Then she turns around and she leaves the bedroom.

Dean walks towards the door and he closes it, locking it so if Jo comes back, she can’t open it. “Have they done something like this before?” Dean wonders as he walks towards the bed where the tuxedos are.

“Yes. They do it every two years or so.” Castiel starts to explain. “Most of the people that come are important businessmen or businesswomen that Crowley knows. Only a few of them are his friends, most of them are important for his business or they are just people he wants to start to make business. Also a lot of Jo’s friends come too.” He takes a deep breath. “It is really boring.”

“What are we supposed to do?” Dean asks a bit afraid of the answer.

“What they tell us. Jo and Crowley are our masters, but if someone else orders you something, unless Jo or Crowley says something to avoid it, you will have to do it.” Castiel explains with a regretful grimace.

Dean grunts. “Awesome.”

“Usually it is only about bring me this or that, but—” He takes a deep breath and he looks down. Then, he looks at Dean, who is expecting him to finish the sentence. “If Crowley approves it, you can be hurt if someone of their guests wants it, just because it is fun.”

“Holy fuck, how fucking sadistic those son of bitches are?” He doesn’t know why it shocks him this much. It is the Brown Lands, the strange things is to find someone who isn’t a bloody motherfucker. Dean rubs his face and he looks at Cas. “Did that happen to you?”

Castiel shakes his head. “No. But it happened to two slaves a few years ago. The man who requested it hasn’t come back to this house again, but you never know if there can be someone else who might like to do that.”

Dean moves his jaw and he places his hands in his hips. “I fucking hate this place.”

“Me too.” Castiel agrees.

Dean takes a deep breath. “And we can have dinner tonight, right? Or is it gonna be like the Christmas dinner?”

Castiel smiles. “We have dinner, usually it is pasta. Easy and quick to cook so the cooks don’t waste a lot of time on it and they can focus on the food for the guests. Then, we will have to change our clothes and go to the living room.”

“Okay. It’s gonna be a really long, long, long night.” He inhales and exhales sharply. Then he approaches Castiel and he gives him a brief kiss. “How about we keep doing in the shower what we were about to do in the bed?” He suggests with an eyebrow raised.

Castiel smiles widely. “I’m all yours.” And both of them laugh before they kiss and they get in the bathroom.

 

The morning goes like always, Castiel working in the garden and Dean in the garage. When it is lunch time, Castiel goes to the garage to tell Dean about it and both of them go towards the kitchen and they eat. There are French fries with fried eggs today and Dean and Cas are really enjoying the plate. They are enjoying it so much that no one of them realized Jo had been in the kitchen for a while. Castiel and Dean take their sights away from their dishes to look at Jo, who is yelling at one woman slave, the one who always cook the fancy food.

“How can you not know how to make a pie?! You should know it!” Jo yells. The woman doesn’t say anything; she just stays quiet, trying to look unchanged. Jo grunts and she looks at the rest of the slaves, who stopped talking once Jo’s yells were too loud. “Okay. I need someone to make apple pies because this useless cook doesn’t know how to. And if there’s no one, I’ll choose someone and if that someone doesn’t know how to make a pie and it is impossible to eat it, that someone will be punished.” She says with an annoyed voice; her patience is running out. “So come on, raise your hand the ones who know how to make an apple pie.”

No one raises their hand. Dean knows how to do an apple pie, but he doesn’t want to make a pie for that woman and those other monsters that are coming to the house. He looks at Jo, whose sight is fixed on Castiel and Dean’s stomach twists. He knows Castiel doesn’t know how to cook, so it is impossible that he will make a proper apple pie. And that means that no one will like it and he will be punished.

“All right, then.” Jo starts to say pissed off. She looks at Castiel. “Ca—”

“I know how to.” Dean raises his hand quickly. He isn’t going to let Jo force Cas to do something he hasn’t got any idea, because Cas will end up in the punishment room and Dean can avoid it for the first and only time.

Jo looks at him with disbelief. “Do you?”

“I do.” He says. He is going to have to make a good apple pie because he doesn’t want to end up in the punishment room either. He is too good at making pies and he hates that he will have to cook for those people while he should be cooking a pie for Cas. And Dean knows there’s no way Cas or him will be able to even taste a bit of that pie.

“Aren’t you going to poison us?” She asks walking towards Dean.

“No. Unless you give me poisonous ingredients for the pie.” He says with a smirk.

Jo slaps his face and Castiel gets up really pissed off. Jo looks at him in a challenging way. “Don’t be that stupid Castiel.” She warns. Castiel glares her. “You are becoming like him. What has he done to you?”

“He has made me be alive.” Castiel says proudly and Dean looks at him with a happy and proud and genuine look.

“He has made you stupid.” Jo says with a dried laugh. She glares at Dean. “You will do ten pies, so you won’t be working on the garage once you finish eating, understand?”

Dean nods. Then, Jo leaves and Castiel sits down. When the usual chatter in the kitchen is recovered, Castiel speaks. “Do you know how to make an apple pie?” He asks a bit scared. He really doesn’t want to see that Dean spends part of the night in the punishment room.

“Yeah. I make awesome pies. It is a shame that you won’t be able to taste it.” Dean sighs. Then, he looks at Cas with a happy smile. “You know,” he starts to say a little bit shy. “What you said to Jo, it was fucking awesome. I was so happy to hear that.”

Castiel blushes and he makes a shy smile. “It is the truth. And you know it. Before you came to my life, it was as if I was death.”

Dean makes a proud smile. “I feel alive with you too.” He whispers. Both of them blush. There’s a small silence in between them and they keep eating. “If I finish soon, I’ll go after you to tell you it is suppertime.” Dean says casually.

“Okay.” Castiel smiles. “But don’t try to scare me because you know what happened last time.”

“Yeah, I know. That fucking bruise you left me was a bitch. It is hard to forget it.” He sasses and in consequence, Castiel kicks his foot and then he smiles. Dean smiles at him and he kicks Castiel’s foot too. Castiel frowns as he makes an annoyed smile. He is about to kick Dean’s foot when Dean speaks. “Are you sure you want to start a kicking war here?” He whispers.

Castiel looks at the rest of slaves for a brief moment before moving his sight back to Dean. “You only say that because you don’t want to lose.”

“You are really sassy today, aren’t you?”

Castiel smiles. “I just like teasing you.”

“Yeah I see. You weren’t this fucking sassy and teasing when we weren’t, y’know.” He doesn’t want to say ‘together’ just in case someone listens to them. They are whispering, but they have to be careful. Just in case.

“I’m guess I must have learnt it from you.” He shrugs. “It is okay that I sass you and I tease you, right?” He asks a bit awkwardly. Dean makes a big smile. “Why are you smiling like that?”

“I love it when you are this cute and awkward.” He confesses. Castiel blushes a lot. “Yeah Cas, it is okay. I love when you sass me and tease me.” He explains. His smile gets bigger as he sees how the flush in Castiel’s cheeks is getting more noticeable. “Besides, I tease you most of the time.”

“Yes you do.”

They finish their lunches and Dean stays in the kitchen while Castiel goes to the garden. Dean waits until everyone leaves, except the women who are going to cook the dinner for the guests and Dean starts to make the pies. All the ingredients are already set on one table, waiting for him. It is been a lot of months since Dean made a pie, but this is like riding a bike, you never forget it. Dean has made a lot of pies and he is sure he could make them blindfolded.

It is going to take him all the afternoon. He has to make ten pies and the oven it is only big enough for two, so it is going to take a lot of time to cook them. He hopes they will be perfect. Everyone who has tasted Dean’s pies has always complimented them and sometimes there were even fights between Bobby and Sam to decide who was going to eat the remaining slice. Dean smiles with that. But this people that are going to eat the pie might not like Dean’s pies. Anyway, Dean is going to try to do the best he can just to avoid the punishment.

Dean spends the whole afternoon with the pies. He doesn’t remember the exact quantities for the mass, but he has done too many pies that with just looking at the bowl, he knows if it is the correct quantity. Making them it is entertaining, but the most boring part is to wait for the pies to bake. He has all the pies already prepared, they only need to get in the oven, but the waiting is too boring and long. During that waiting, Dean drums his fingers on the table, or he just sits on a chair, looking at the oven. There’s nothing left to do, he even cleaned the table already and there are still four pies waiting their turn to get in the oven.

During one of those boring waitings, Jo arrives to the kitchen. She looks at the women cooking the other food, taking a look at some of the plates that are already done. Then, she goes towards Dean and she looks at the baked pies. Dean glances at her and he sees her impressed face; Dean knows she was waiting him to fuck it up.

“I must tell I’m impressed, Dean.” Jo starts to say. She is looking at every single pie with all her attention, trying to find a mistake, but the pies are perfect. “They even smell really good.” She adds raising her eyebrows. Dean doesn’t say anything. Now he is watching the pies that are in the oven. “I’m going to try a slice.” She moves around the kitchen, looking for a plate, a fork and a knife. She cuts a slice from one of the first pies that were baked. Dean observes Jo from the corner of his eyes. When Jo eats it, her face is a surprised and delighted one. “Oh my God.” She says almost in a moan. “It is delicious.”

“Thank you.” Dean says dryly. He wishes Cas was the one tasting his pie and not that awful woman.

“It is a shame that no one of the slaves can taste it.” She says with a lascivious smile. She enjoys the fact that she is eating something that Dean loves but he can’t eat. “I should order you to make pies once in a while.” She keeps eating the pie and she even passes his finger along the plate so she can lick the apple jelly left. When she finishes, she moans. “Congratulations Dean, you managed not to get into the punishment room.”

Dean makes an acid smile and he stands up to take out the baked pies. “For now, right?” He says with an acid sass.

“For now, yes.” Jo smiles in that creepy and satisfying way of hers. Then, she leaves the kitchen.

Dean grunts and then, he leaves the baked pies and he picks two of the unbaked ones and he places them in the oven. These two and other two more and he will be done. Maybe he will still have time to go to the garden to find Cas.

Time goes slowly and extremely boringly, but finally all the pies are baked and he goes towards the garden to find Cas. He finds him going to the shed to leave all the tools. When Castiel sees him, he smiles at him. Dean loves that beautiful smile too much; it is as if there wasn’t anything else around him, only Cas and him. Fuck, Cas is making him too fucking sappy and cheesy.

“How did the baking go?” Castiel asks when Dean is close to him.

“A bit boring. The oven only left me to put two pies at the same time and while they were baking, I didn’t have anything to do.” Dean explains as they walk together towards the shed. “Jo tasted one and she said it was delicious.”

“Really?” He asks with disbelief; Jo doesn’t compliment anything that comes from slaves, even if they are perfect.

Dean nods. He opens the shed’s door so Cas can left the gardening tools easily. “She even made a small moan.” He adds disgusted.

“If she said that and she moaned, you must have made the perfect pie.” He says impressed.

Dean laughs. Castiel closes the door and both of them start to walk towards the house. “I’m a great pie maker.” He says proudly. Castiel smiles in his usual lovely way. Dean sighs a bit sad. “It sucks that you can’t taste it.”

“Well.” He starts to say whispering. “If we get out of here, I hope you’ll make me a pie at home.”

“Of course I’ll make you a pie. And hundreds of them!” Dean says with joy. Just imagining that, making pies for Cas or Cas helping him to make a pie, it warms Dean’s heart a lot.

For suppertime, like Castiel said, there’s pasta, and Dean, like always, eats it with what he calls ‘devotion’ although Castiel calls it mess. Anyways, Castiel can’t stop smiling and laughing softly seeing how Dean eats like that the pasta. And Dean even dramatizes how he eats just to make Castiel smile bigger and make him blush with his laughter, until everyone starts to stare at them as if they were crazy. They ignore the slaves, like they do all the time.

After suppertime, they go to their bedroom to put on their tuxedos. They even have to wear bowties and Dean’s mind says ‘bowties are cool’ with the Doctor’s voice. He misses so much watching his favorite TV shows…

“Should I help you with the bowtie?” Castiel says with a slightly, almost unnoticeable sass in his voice.

“Isn’t it obvious? Dean says sarcastically.

Castiel laughs and he approaches Dean and he starts to tie the bowtie. “You look gorgeous.”

“I look like a penguin.” He rolls his eyes. He likes suits, they can really make him look really good, but not tuxedos. Dean Winchester in a tuxedo looks awful. But Castiel doesn’t think that.

“Then, you are a gorgeous penguin.” Castiel says with a cute voice.

Dean glares him and Castiel smiles. “You little shit.” He cups Castiel’s face and he kisses him passionately. When he pulls away, Castiel has to inhale air in a needy way. Dean looks at him from top to bottom and he licks his upper lip. “Yeah, you are fucking handsome.” He comments. Castiel always looks handsome with any kind of cloth or without any at all.

Castiel blushes a lot and he looks down. “I’m not.”

“You are it.” And Dean kisses Castiel again, running his fingers through his hair desperate and Castiel pushes Dean’s head down, so they can press their mouths even more.

“We have to leave.” Castiel says without opening his eyes. He feels Dean’s ragged breath in his mouth. It is so hard to move, to stop it, but they have to.

“Okay.” Dean whispers into Castiel’s mouth. He is about to move away when Cas grabs him again and he kisses him in a breathtaking way, showing how much he wants, he needs and he loves Dean.

Castiel is panting when he pulls away. Dean looks at him with dark eyes and Castiel cups Dean’s face. “Okay, now we leave.” He says nodding and trying to look convinced. He pulls away and walks towards the door.

“Are you sure you don’t want more kisses?” He teases with a huge smirk on his face.

Castiel turns his face to look at Dean, who places his hand on the door, so Cas can’t open it. Dean presses his chest against Castiel’s back. With his other hand he starts to caress Cas’ chest, feeling the soft shirt. Dean places his mouth on the skin under Cas’ ear and he starts to kiss it. Castiel moves his head, leaving more room for Dean’s mouth and he starts to breath in a difficult way. “Dean—” He moans. He places one of his hands on Dean’s thigh, fisting the dress pants. “Dean— we have to— oh—” He can’t finish the sentence. Dean has found his weak spot and he is kissing it and licking it and Castiel can’t do anything.

“Why you have to be this fucking gorgeous?” Dean mumbles against Castiel’s skin. He moves the hands from the door and he holds Castiel’s waist.

“And why do you have to be this good?” He closes his eyes and he moans. He even starts to rock his hips slowly. Dean’s hand unbuttons the shirt and he sneaks his hand. His fingers are warm and soft and Castiel loves them. They start to make circles on his nipple and it feels too good. “Dean— oh Dean—” He parts his lips and opens his eyes. He doesn’t want to stop. “Dean—” He repeats. He keeps rocking his hips and he closes his eyes. He gasps for air and when Dean pinches his nipple, Castiel moans. “Dean— Dean—”

Dean keeps touching his nipple, leaving it sometimes to trace down his chest but his hand goes back to the nipple. He kisses the neck, where the black leather collar isn’t, finding those spots that make Cas grasp for air.

“Dean—” Castiel moans. “Dean if we are late—”

“I know.” Dean says desperate. He kisses Castiel’s temple and slowly, he moves his hand away from Castiel’s nipple. He inhales sharply and he moves away and both of them hate the loss of their bodies pressing together. Castiel turns to face Dean and he starts to button his shirt up. “Sorry. Fuck I didn’t have to—”

Castiel interrupts him by kissing him. When they pull away, Dean looks at him confused. “Don’t regret it. I loved it. Although I wished we had more time for it.” He says blushing a little.

“Yeah, me too, but I should not do this things when we don’t have time.”

“And I should stop instead of letting myself go.” He says in an obvious way. Dean makes a guilty smile. “I would have done that to you if you were the one about to open the door.” He confesses.

“You are great, y’know?” Dean gives him a brief lovely kiss and Castiel can’t help a timid smile. “Let’s go before any of us starts doing something more than that.” He says opening the door. As they walk towards the hall, Dean asks. “What are we supposed to do?”

“Serve. Jo will tell you now what exactly.” Castiel answers. He takes a deep breath. “It is going to be a long night.”

“You suck at cheering up.”

“Shut up.”

Dean laughs. “Love it when you get mad at me.” He whispers. Castiel instead of saying anything, he makes a funny face and he blushes.

When they arrive to the kitchen, all the slaves are already there and Jo is in front of them. She glares furiously at Dean and Castiel, because they are the lasts ones to arrive. They have arrived on time, but Jo doesn’t like to wait too much. She starts to command things, explaining what every slave has to do. Some of them have to serve the food, others have to serve the booze, others will take care of the coats and belongings of the guests and others will be the ones who will clean when it is necessary. Castiel is one of the slaves that will take care of the booze and Dean will take care of serving the food.

Dean is really surprised to see the amount of people in the living room. There are like more than thirty people in the living room. All men are wearing luxury tuxedos and all the women are wearing expensive and luxurious dresses. Everyone is talking or chatting, gathered in circles, laughing in a false way. Dean doesn’t like anyone from there, he feels as if he was in the middle of the ocean surrounded by sharks.

Dean keeps moving with the trail of canapés; he doesn’t know exactly what they are made of, he can see that there’s salmon but he doesn’t have any idea about what the hell the rest of things are. Most of the people pick one of two when they see him and Dean can see some women looking at him with wide eyes, just like Jo tends to look at him. Great, that’s what he needed right now…

He goes to the kitchen to leave the empty trail and pick one of another strange thing that has caviar. He finds Castiel in there looking for some whiskey, so Dean approaches him. “Hey.” Dean says.

Castiel turns his face to look at him. “Hello Dean.” Castiel greets as he keeps looking for the whiskey.

“Aren’t here too many people?”

“A few years ago one party hosted almost sixty people.” He murmurs in a tired voice. When he finds the right whiskey he picks it and he turns to see Dean before he ensures that nobody’s around. “I’m glad that they are few.”

“Holy fuck.” Dean takes a deep breath. “I don’t like anybody.”

“Do you think I do?”

“Stop with your sass.” He says with a smile. Castiel smiles him too. Dean grabs the tray and Castiel serves the whiskey in a glass. “For how long are they going to stay here?”

“Usually they leave by one a.m.”

“And we are supposed to last ‘til that late?” He asks annoyed. Castiel nods. “But we have to wake up early tomorrow.”

“Dean.” Castiel starts to say. He saves the bottle of whiskey in its place and then, he approaches Dean. “We are slaves, they don’t care.” He takes a deep breath and looks down.

“Yeah, sometimes I think that these beings can have a bit of humanity.” He says sarcastically.

Castiel laughs. “You are such a dreamer…”

They go to the living room. Castiel gives the booze to the people and Dean keeps walking around with the tray, only stopping when someone wants to pick some of the stuff he is carrying. He notices a ginger looking at him with lascivious eyes, smiling at him creepily, more than Jo does it and Dean glares her, something that makes the ginger to find it amusing. Dean keeps walking around, trying to ignore her, but she keeps following him with her eyes.

Dean goes to the kitchen to leave the empty tray and pick another one. He is going to have to do this all night long. Cas was right when he said it was going to be a really long night. Dean swears in his mind and he goes back to the living room.

“Dean!” Jo calls him after a while. Dean turns his face to see her; she is with that ginger, the one who hasn’t stopped looking at him. Dean grunts and he walks towards them because Jo is requesting him to approach with her hand. Dean doesn’t know what the hell she wants, but it can’t be good. “He is really pretty, right Abaddon?” She says enthusiastic. Dean glares her. She is showing him to her friend as if he was a fucking doll.

“Yes, I have been looking at him for a while and he is really pretty.” Abaddon says licking her lips. She approaches Dean a little bit more. She looks at him from his head to his feet and then her eyes go back to Dean’s face. “You give a girl all kind of nasty ideas.” She says with an evil voice. Dean feels so sick with this situation and how Jo and Abaddon are looking at him. 

Suddenly, Abaddon starts to touch his cheeks, Dean pulls away angrily, but she grabs his wrist tightly, holding him in place, then, she squeezes his ass and Dean is about to throw himself to beat her when the sound of a glass being broken fills the room and Castiel speaks. “Damn it!”

Dean turns around and he sees Cas is the one who broke the glass. His palm is bleeding and there are pieces of glass stuck on his bleeding palm. The liquid the glass contained it is on the floor and some slave is already cleaning Castiel’s mess.

“Castiel!” Jo yells angrily. Everyone has turned to see the one who is the responsible of that broken glass and all of them are looking at Castiel with rage; even the slaves. “You clumsy idiot!” Jo yells. “Go and fix your stupid hand in your bathroom!”  
Dean has approached them. “The bathroom on this floor is nearer.” He says with a dried calm. Cas is bleeding a lot.

“He can’t use that.” Jo says aggressively. Dean shouldn’t be talking to her like that; he is almost humiliating her. Slaves must be quiet, not protesting or trying to be the ones who give orders.

Dean knows she doesn’t give a fuck about Castiel, who is still there, holding his bleeding hand, watching Jo and Dean argue. Their bathroom is too far and Castiel needs things from the bathrooms allowed to people with white collars. “Do you want him to spoil the whole path to the bedroom with his blood?” He hates how that sounds, as if Cas didn’t matter to him, but he knows that Jo cares more about stains than slaves.

Jo glares at Dean. Then, she looks at Castiel. “Go to the nearest bathroom.” She orders. Then, Castiel leaves. Jo looks at Dean. Everyone started talking again a few moments ago. “Don’t do anything like that to me again ever. Do you understand?” She mutters furious. “That was disrespectful.”

“Okay.” Dean says cockily. He turns around to walk away.

“Where are you going?” Jo asks angrily.

“To help Castiel.” Dean simply answers. He leaves the tray in the kitchen, which still has a lot of canapés and he goes to the bathroom. He opens the door and he sees Cas is cleaning his hand with water, dying the sink with the mix of water and blood. “Hey.” Dean closes the door and he locks it. Castiel is trembling and he is really nervous. “I’m here.” Dean says grabbing his bleeding hand; it still has pieces of glass in it. “Let me help you, Cas.”

“You are going to cut yourself.” Castiel murmurs ashamed. Why is he ashamed?

“I don’t care.” Dean closes the tap and he starts to take out the embedded pieces of glass in Castiel’s left palm. Castiel grunts as they are being removed. “Sorry. It is going to hurt anyways.” Dean says sad. The wounds aren’t too big, but they are pretty deep. Castiel is still looking down, as if he was afraid of looking at Dean, who doesn’t understand why. “Are you okay?” Dean says as he removes the last glass.

“I’m sorry.” Castiel apologizes.

“For what? You didn’t—”

“I broke the glass because she touched you.” Castiel confesses. He tilts his head up so he can look at Dean’s eyes. “The red-haired woman.” He adds. His eyes are glassy. “I saw how she looked at you and when she started to touch you and she squeezed your bottom, I got so mad that I tightened the glass so hard that I broke it.” He explains.

“Cas—” Dean embraces him and Castiel buries his face on Dean’s shoulder as he fists with his not wounded hand Dean’s back.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t—”

“Hey.” Dean cups his face so they can look at each other’s eyes. “I know. I hate when anyone who isn’t you touches me. I fucking hate it. But you know how these people are. You gotta calm down Cas. Let them watch me as long as they want to, if they touch me I’ll be the one to do something, but I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“Dean—”

“I love you. I love you so fucking much, you know it.” Dean keeps saying. His voice is strong, sweet and honest. “I’m yours, Cas. I told you. I’m only yours. You are the only one allowed to touch me, to kiss me, to fuck me, the only one who can have me in those awesome ways. The only one. Never forget it. Let those fucking whores stare at me as long as they want, I’m not going to look at them like I look at you, I’m not gonna kiss them, or touch them or love them. I’m only yours, Cas.”

Castiel kisses him in a desperate and needy way, drawing Dean closer with his good hand. “I love you, Dean.”

“I know, Cas. I know.” He kisses his forehead and then he grabs the wounded hand. “Let me heal you.” He starts to clean the blood with water and then, he starts to apply some antiseptic.

“Sorry for—”

“You don’t have to apologize from anything Cas.” Dean says with a sweet voice. “I would have done something worse if that woman started to touch you. I was about to beat the crap out of her when she squeezed my ass… So you just avoided me going to the punishment room.” He pouts in a funny way and Castiel makes a soft smile.

Castiel kisses Dean’s cheek. “You are perfect.”

Suddenly, someone tries to open the door. Then, Jo yells. “Open the door!”

Dean rolls his eyes and he grunts before he opens the door. “What?”

“Don’t talk to me like that!” She is more irritated and pissed off than usually. Dean goes back to the sink to keep healing Cas; he only has to put some bands. “Why is it taking too long?!”

“He had a lot of pieces of glass stuck.” Dean simply answers. He keeps putting bands around Castiel’s hand, leaving the fingers uncovered because they only have a few scratches; the worst wounds were in the palm.

“You two always have to do something, don’t you?!”

“Will you please shut up?” Dean says calmly. Castiel looks at him with his warning look, the one that means stop or you are going to suffer her fury.

“Don’t tell me to shut up!” She slaps Dean’s face, leaving a red mark on his cheek. “You are so fucking useless Castiel! If you hadn’t broken that—”

“What would have happened?” Castiel says cockily. Jo glares him. “I broke it, I bleed and Dean is healing me. That’s all. Has your pride got hurt or something?”

Jo slaps him right now. “You two should watch your tongues or next time, I will put pieces of glass in your bodies.” She turns over and she leaves.

Dean slams the door, closing it and then, he locks it. “Go and fuck yourself, bitch.” Dean mutters. He keeps working with the band on Castiel’s hand until he sees it is perfect. “Does it hurt you?”

“No.” Castiel answers. “It sores a little, but that’s normal. Thank you Dean.” He presses a brief kiss on his lips.

“Be careful, you don’t want to get yourself hurt anymore.” Dean warns with his worried sight.

“Yes, I know. I had enough with the glass and Jo’s slap.” He says annoyed.

Dean kisses him in a passionate way before opening the bathroom. “That feels better, huh?”

Castiel smiles happily. “Yes, it does.”

They leave the bathroom and they get back to their jobs they were assigned to do. Dean keeps walking with the trays with food while Castiel keeps filling with booze the glasses. Midnight won’t arrive until almost two hours and it seems that they will have to be in that room, with that awful people for an eternity.

It isn’t after a while that Crowley approaches Castiel, so Dean starts to walk towards them, trying to be as discreet as possible, and he hears Crowley saying. “Play the piano, Castiel.”

When Crowley walks away from Castiel, Dean looks at him confused, and Castiel dedicates him a tiny but sweet smile. Dean watches how Castiel walks towards the piano and he sits. Dean approaches it. The piano it is in one side of the living room, and in that place, there isn’t a lot of people, just a couple of them. Castiel takes a deep breath and he starts to play the piano.  
The song starts slowly, filled with passion. It sounds a bit soft but the passion and the feeling seems to intensify. It is a bit sad, but it sounds beautiful and Castiel looks gorgeous in the piano as he plays that song. Then, the song starts to sound a bit stronger, but it keeps being delicate in a few seconds, alternating the graves and the softs notes. Dean isn’t a fan of classical music but this piece is fucking beautiful. He feels as if there wasn’t anyone else in that room, that they were alone, that those people disappeared suddenly, leaving them.

Dean smiles like the fool in love he is. He doesn’t take his eyes off Cas. Despite of his hurt hand, he plays so fucking awesome. It seems that nobody else is paying attention to the marvelous interpretation Cas is playing, they are just overhearing it, but Dean is listening and watching Cas with all his heart and his soul, and he is loving this.

Castiel keeps playing Chopin’s _Nocturne opus 9 number 2_ , looking once in a while at Dean, who has the most beautiful sight right now, as if he was falling in love with Cas over and over as Castiel keeps playing the piece.

It finishes soon and Dean’s smile gets bigger and he wants to clap, to kiss Castiel and to tell him it was fucking beautiful, but all he can do is to look at Cas with all the love he has in his being and Castiel dedicates him a happy but shy smile.

Castiel starts to think what he can play right now, something that Dean will like. He loves Chopin, but Castiel wants to play something else. It has been a long time since he last played the piano and he doesn’t remember as well as he used to all the songs he knew how to play, but he still remembers a lot.

He decides to play _Piano concerto No.2 in F major_ by Shostakovich. As he starts to play it, Dean leaves the tray on one chair; he doesn’t care if someone complains about it, he doesn’t want to miss a single second from Castiel playing the piano in that extraordinary and beautiful way; he hasn’t seen or lived something like this. It leaves Dean speechless, and he doesn’t want anything or anyone to snatch him this.

Dean loves how lively this song sounds. The last one was sadder, but this one it is happier. Cas even looks at him with a happy smile as he plays it, enjoying Dean’s face. Dean laughs softly as Castiel keeps playing the piece, which starts to sound louder, faster and happier. Dean is loving this one and it has just started. Now there comes a softer part, but it is great. There is the chatter from the rest of people, but Dean’s brain is ignoring it, he can only hear Castiel playing the piano in that wonderful way.  
The piece now starts to be a bit angrily, which shocks Dean a little and Castiel has to bite the inner of his cheeks to avoid an uncontrollably laughter. Dean bites his lower lip as he smiles. Cas looks perfect in the piano and he plays it as if his hands were part of the piano.

The song has a lot of changes of tunes but they are great. Some people turn around to see what the hell Cas is playing, as if they were shocked by the music, and maybe it is a bit shocking, but for Dean it is fucking awesome and Castiel plays it perfectly. His hands don’t stop moving along the keyboard, putting a lot of passion to every single note he plays, moving excitedly, looking at Dean whenever he can, just to see his reaction and his faces, and Dean doesn’t disappoint him. Nobody has looked at Cas like that while he was playing the piano. There’s joy, happiness, love, impression and a lot of good things in Dean’s eyes and face and Castiel loves it.

Now a sad part comes. Dean parts his lips and he takes a deep breath as the slow and delicate part sounds. Castiel plays it without looking at the keyboard, he looks at Dean with a lovely smile and Dean can’t move away; this is perfect, beautiful and extraordinary, like Cas.

The slow part keeps sounding and Cas even closes his eyes for a moment, to let himself sink in the music. Dean wishes they could be all alone, although it feels like that; Cas is taking him away from that, away from the horrible place, away from these horrible people. He is making his heart beat faster and faster, making his chest warm up and making his limbs feel that wonderful titillation.

It seems that the song it is about to finish, but it isn’t. The happy and cheerful comes back and Castiel smiles brightly at Dean, who smiles happily, making the crinkles from the corner of his eyes to appear. Cas seems so full of life that Dean loves it too fucking much. After some moments, Cas starts to play with a lot of enthusiasm and really fast and Dean loves it. Then it sounds really deep and Castiel keeps smiling at Dean, who still looks at Cas with that lovely gaze.

The piece keeps being played perfectly, and Dean thinks that he is going to buy Cas a piano once they are in Sioux Falls, even if it is a shitty one. Cas plays so fucking awesome and he will play wonderful even with the worst piano keyboard in the world.  
It is about to end and it is really cheerful and Castiel moves his hands fast, with all his passion, until the song finishes in a happy and in a splendid way. Dean really has to fight against walking towards Cas, kiss him and tell him how much he loves him and that it was fucking awesome.

Castiel looks around, although no one except Dean is paying attention to him as he plays the piano, if Crowley says it was enough, he will have to stand up and move away from the piano. But Crowley is focused with some men, talking about something, so Castiel can play another musical piece. And he knows which one he wants to play for Dean. The other people are only overhearing him, Dean is his only spectator, so Castiel is going to dedicate this song for Dean.

“This one is for you.” Castiel whispers. Dean can’t hear him, but he knows what Castiel has just said, so Dean nods.

Castiel starts to play the song. It has been a long time since he last played this song. He thinks the last time he played it, he was alone, in his room, with his piano, trying to play it a soft as he could, so no one could hear it except himself. It is a song he composed a long time ago, a song he only wanted to play to someone like Dean. Now he can play it. It is full of emotion and passion, with delicate notes, going to the gravest tones to the softest. It is composed with his heart and he is playing it for Dean.

Dean thinks it is the most beautiful song he has ever heard. The two songs he heard before were wonderful, but this one it sounds fucking gorgeous, as if there was a piece of Cas in that song. Dean feels how his eyes are getting a bit wet and his smile is a bright and a genuine one. He is speechless. Cas looks fucking gorgeous, perfect, awesome, marvelous and extraordinary as he plays that song, which is the most breathtaking song Dean has ever heard.

Castiel keeps playing it, taking a brief look at Dean, seeing how he looks as if he was seeing the whole universe. Castiel keeps playing with all his heart and his soul, showing with music how much Dean means to him.

When it ends, Dean mouths an “I love you.”

Castiel smiles in that way of his, half shy half happy before he mouths an “I love you.”

Dean thought it was almost impossible, but right now, he has fallen for Cas even more. That was just the fucking most perfect thing he has ever heard.

Castiel now starts to play _Rhapsody in Blue_ as best as he can. It isn't a piece for paino only, so he does his best. Dean knows this song mostly from movies, and he really likes listening how Cas plays it, but Jo comes, shakes his shoulder and takes Dean away from that wonderful place Cas took his mind.

“Are you deaf?” Jo says angrily. Dean feels an acid shiver in his body. He was having the best moment in his life and Jo has destroyed it in a few seconds. “Go to the kitchen and cut some pie.”

Dean grabs the tray he left on the chair and he goes towards the kitchen. He starts to slice the pies, putting each piece in a plate. It smells really good. He wishes Cas could taste it. If he could stop playing the piano for a while, come to the kitchen and taste a bit of it… Dean looks around, he is all alone. He can steal a slice, a small one. He is going to do it. It is a huge risk, but he is going to take it. So he picks a slice of pie and he grabs a lot of napkins. He wraps the slice with all of them and he saves it in the inner pocket of his tuxedo’s jacket. He just hopes it doesn’t screw up.

After putting like forty slices of pie in a different plate, Dean is amazed by how many plates this house has, he puts a few of them on the tray and he goes to the living room, where Cas keeps playing Rhapsody in Blue. Everyone grabs a plate and Dean has to go to the kitchen to pick more plates. There are two more slaves with trays with pies, but everyone wants to taste it and the ones who have already eaten, they want to repeat it.

When Castiel finishes playing the song, Crowley tells him to stop and he moves away from the piano. Midnight is about to come, so the slaves must go to the kitchen and clean everything. They wash all the cutlery, the plates, the trays and the glasses. Others have to clean the floor and the tables. It takes them a while. The New Year comes when Dean and Castiel are drying the dishes. Dean would love to kiss Cas right now, but it is better to wait.

Once they finish everything, it is almost one o’clock in the morning, so the guests start to leave. Crowley tells everyone who isn’t in charge of the guest’s belongings to go to their bedroom, so Dean and Castiel can go. They are really tired and sleepy. They usually go to bed at ten o’clock, eleven if they have sex and they stay awake talking, so their bodies are used to going to rest at that hours, not this late.

When they arrive to their bedroom, Dean cups Castiel’s face and he kisses him passionately. “Happy new year Cas.” Dean says.  
Castiel smiles. “Happy new year Dean.” He steals a sweet and short kiss from Dean’s lips.

“I’ve got you something.” Dean says walking towards the bed. Castiel follows him, looking at him with his eyes half closed and his brows furrowed. Dean sits on the bed. He kicks his shoes off and Castiel does the same in the same order, sitting next to Dean, who gets out from his pocket the slice of pie.

“How did you—”

“I told you I was a problematic teenager.” Dean starts to say with a proud smile. “And I told you I liked to steal things from the teachers.”

“You are unbelievable.” Castiel laughs. The smell of the pie is delicious.

“Taste it. I got it for you.”

Castiel makes a happy smile and he bites it. It tastes better than it smells. Castiel starts to moan. This is the best dessert he has ever tasted. “Dean, please, this is really delicious.” He says with his mouth full.

“Don’t talk with your mouth full.” Dean teases.

Castiel swallows and he starts to laugh. “Sorry.” Dean joins his laughter. “Dean, I didn’t expect you were such a great cook. This is extremely delicious. Now I understand why all those people repeated it.” He says as he takes another bite.

Dean chuckles. “I’m glad you like it.” Castiel’s face shows how much he is loving the pie.

“Take some before I eat it all.” Castiel offers. Dean laughs and he bites. Yeah, he did a great job. He missed pie and it feels so fucking great on his mouth. “Do you cook everything as good as this?” Castiel takes another bit. Seriously, this tastes too fucking good.

Dean takes another bit too, there’s only one more left and he is going to leave it for Cas. “You’ll see once we make it to USA.”

Castiel laughs. He cuts the pie in a half with his hands and he offers one to Dean, who at first denies it, but Castiel insists, so Dean finally eats it. “That was really good, Dean.”

“I’m so fucking happy that you liked it.” He kisses Castiel in a lovely and slow way, tasting the apple pie on his lips, which makes Castiel’s lips even more kissable than usually. “I had to give it to you after those fucking awesome songs you played.”

Castiel blushes a lot. “Did you like them?”

“I loved them. They were fucking perfect, so fucking awesome, I can’t even tell you how much I loved them, they were breathtaking. I didn’t know you were such a virtuous.”

“I’m not a virtuous.”

“Shut up, you are it.” Dean says convinced. Castiel looks down and he blushes a lot. “I loved all the songs, but I must admit that I loved the most the third one, the one you said it was for me.”

Castiel looks up, until his eyes meet Dean’s. Castiel’s eyes are opened widely. “Really?” He says with a hopeful voice.

“I fucking love it, it was so fucking perfect, so fucking extraordinary, I’m speechless.” Dean says.

Castiel places his hands on Dean’s nape and he brings him to his mouth and he kisses him with all the love in his heart. Dean holds Cas by his waist and when they pull away, Dean looks at him confused and trying to catch his breath.

“That was a song I composed a long time ago.” Castiel starts to confess. Dean looks at him really impressed. “I promised myself that I would only play it to someone that I loved so much, and you are that person.” He says shyly. Dean parts his lips. “I know it is so cheesy but—”

Dean kisses him, interrupting him. “Yeah, you are it.” He says chuckling. “Thanks for the song Cas.”

“You are welcome, Dean.” He kisses him again. “How about we go to sleep? We have to wake up really early tomorrow.”

“That sounds awesome.”

They start to get undress, they put on some t-shirts after they are only wearing their boxers and they get in the bed after switching off the lights. A new year has arrived and they hope that they will end this year so far away from the Brown Lands.


	41. Forest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks a lot for reading and for the kudos, the bookmarks, the comments and the subscriptions :)

Despite of being the beginning of January, today it seems like a day more from spring than from winter. There’s a soft breeze blowing once in a while. The sky has white clouds scattered on it, letting the sun shine and heat up the temperature. There’s no need to zip up the jackets. It is strange to find a day like this; since winter arrived, most of the days were really cold, it snowed or it rained. It had been a long time since Dean and Castiel have seen the sun shining like this and the sky almost without clouds.

They are outside of the house, walking to the supermarket because Jo ordered them to do it. Naturally, when Jo told them about it, Dean and Castiel went to their bedroom and they picked the money they stole. It is the perfect moment to buy the sleeping pills and anything they might need for their scape; they will see once they are in the supermarket, but they have to buy the sleeping pills.

“Why does it have to be so fucking far?” Dean complains.

Castiel looks at him with his sassy face. “You complain about the alarm clock, you complain about the distance, you complain about every single thing.” Castiel teases.

“I complain about everything from this country. Except you.” Dean explains with a defensive voice.

Castiel laughs. “I’m so flattered to know that.” He blushes a little. Although Dean usually compliments him, Castiel still blushes; he doesn’t think he will be able to stop blushing with Dean. It is something so naturally, something that comes out easily.

Dean makes a timid smile. “I know I tell you this all the time, but you are so fucking cute when you blush.” His voice is so sweet and nice and Castiel loves it.

“You aren’t going to stop until all my face is flushed, don’t you?” He says timidly. The red color is spreading quickly as Dean keeps speaking.

“You know the answer to that.” Dean laughs. Castiel punches his arm as he makes a funny grimace and Dean laughs harder. Then, Dean brings Castiel closer to him and he kisses his cheek, making Castiel to giggle. “You should stop being so adorable.” He murmurs into Castiel’s ear as he noses Cas’ hair, smelling that overwhelming and great scent of Cas.

Castiel smiles and he steals a brief kiss from Dean’s lips before he pulls away. Nobody’s around here, but sometimes a car appears by and Castiel knows how people are; if they see two men walking that together and kissing, the driver will stop the car and will do something to them, like hitting them at least. “And you should stop having such a high opinion of me.”

“I don’t.” Dean sounds disturbed by that. Cas is fucking perfect, he is so fucking awesome and Dean truly knows it and believes it. “If you were a fucking dick, I’d tell you. You know that I would.”

“Yes, you would.” He recognizes. He knows that Dean says more than he should, that he should learn when it is time to shut his mouth, but Castiel likes that Dean has not mince words. He looks at him and his lips draw a sweet smile. Then, he looks at the road; there aren’t any cars going down the road; it is lonely except from the two of them. Castiel bites his lower lip. If some car approaches, they will hear it. He grabs Dean’s hand and he holds it. 

Dean looks at it, surprised; they have held hands in bed, but not while they were walking; there are a lot of eyes looking at them always when they are in the house. Dean squeezes Castiel’s hand and he smiles at him. “Isn’t it risky, Cas?” Dean asks with a teasing voice.

“It is. But we are alone. If we hear a car approaching, we will have to release them.” He explains. “And we will had to pull away once we see the town, but there’s still a long way and—” He takes a deep breath and he stares at Dean’s expectant eyes. “I want to hold your hand.” He adds blushing.

“You are so sappy, babe.” Dean jokes. Castiel glares him and Dean presses a kiss on his temple. “I like holding hands too.” Dean whispers. Then, he pulls away from Castiel’s ear and he squeezes his boyfriend’s hand one more time. “We can’t do this normally, so let’s seize the occasion.”

Castiel smiles and he looks at their hands, at their fingers tangled together and he can’t help a smile. They have done a lot of things in their bedroom, but they hadn’t walked holding hands and it feels better than Cas expected. Like everything that has to do with Dean, it feels extremely good.

Once they can see the town, they release their hands. They hate to do it, but they don’t want to call the attention and end up being hit, punished or even killed. But that’s how things work in the Brow Lands. Anyway, they can still feel the ghost of their hands touching and at least it is something, although it makes them crave for more, but they have to hold, like always.

They get into the supermarket and they pick a shopping cart, picking the items from the list Jo gave them. Most of it is food, like fruit, vegetables, meat and precooked food, the usual things the slaves consume.

“Hey Cas.” Dean whispers. He is in the supermarket section where all the medicines are. Castiel approaches him. “We don’t need anything to buy the pills, right?” Dean whispers. The supermarket is a bit crowded but it is quite quiet for a supermarket and Dean really doesn’t want anyone to hear them. “I mean, we don’t need any paper or stupid thing, right?”

“No.” Castiel says, also whispering. “As long as we show the Harvelle’s card that shows we belong to them, we can buy anything from the supermarket.”

“Awesome.” Dean says. He picks some sleeping pills bottles and he hands them to Castiel. “Which one is the most powerful?”

Castiel starts to read the labels of all of them. After reading all of them, he picks the one that will keep Jo asleep for more time. “These pills are the best ones.” He only says. The less they talk about this in the supermarket, the best. “Should we buy something like ban aids, aspirins or something like that?” He wonders as he drops the bottle with pills in the shopping cart.

Dean shrugs. “Maybe.”

“Let’s buy it. Just in case something goes wrong.”

“Good idea.” Dean agrees. They pick ban aids, aspirins, cotton, bands and anti-inflammatories. They don’t know what will happen once they run away from the house, but it can be anything, so they have to be cautious. If any wound is too deep and it needs to be sewed, they have that sewed case they found in the attic. “Anything else?” Dean wonders.

Castiel makes a thoughtful face. “Nothing that comes to my mind yet.” He says. “Once we have the white collars on, we will be able to buy anything else we need. Now we have the important things.”

“Okay. So let’s keep buying the rest of the things from Jo’s list.”

That’s what they do. They keep walking through the supermarket, picking the items from the list until everything is in the shopping cart. Then, they go towards the cashier, but Dean stops Castiel before they arrive.

“What is it?” Castiel asks confused.

“We will have to buy it in separated times.” Dean says. “Jo always checks the ticket. If she sees there’s something she didn’t ask for, she will know we stole the money.” He explains whispering.

“You are right.” Castiel hadn’t realized about it. “But the cashier will suspect, don’t you think? Two slaves from the same family paying two times?”

“I’ll manage that.” He smirks.

Dean starts to walk towards the cashier while Castiel looks at him confused. Dean starts to put the items Jo ordered on the band conveyor, leaving the ones that are for Cas and him on the shopping cart. The cashier looks at him in an odd way when she sees there are still items left on the shopping cart and Castiel is already showing the card that allows him to buy.

When Dean sees the cashier is still looking oddly at both of them, Dean speaks. “That’s for Miss Harvelle. These things,” Dean points the items on the cart, “are for Mister Harvelle.” He sounds very politely and Castiel is really surprised by that. Dean is always dryly and he talks cockily, right now, he is talking as a good behaving slave.

“Why?” The woman asks. She seems that she doesn’t believe it and she seems not to trust Dean.

Dean shrugs. “I don’t know madam. I just do what my masters tell me.” He sounds really honest. “If they tell me to buy different things and to pay it for separate, I do it. I’m no one to ask. I’m only their slave. I do it because I don’t want to be punished.” He sounds as if he really meant all his words and Castiel is really impressed by it.

She glares her, but she believes him. So Castiel pays the things Jo asked for and then, Dean pays what it is ‘supposed’ to be for Crowley. They leave the supermarket, walking in silence; until they aren’t quite far from the town, Dean doesn’t save all the things they bought for their scape in one of the inner pockets of his jacket. Also they don’t speak until they know they are far from the town. They do that all the time they have to go shopping.

“I must admit that you impressed me.” Castiel confesses. The town is already quite far behind them so there’s no problem on talking right now. “You talked as if you were a real tamed slave.”

Dean shrugs. “It wasn’t any difficult at all.” He explains. “I just told her what she wanted to her. She needed to see that I feared my masters and that I’ll obey them.” He adds. Dean has been in the Harvelle’s mansion for too long, he knows what Jo expects for him, how she wants him to be a quiet slave, a slave who does everything she wants to, without complaining, without fighting back, being submissive and all those things. But Dean is nothing like that, but he can pretend it when he sees it will be useful.

Castiel blinks perplexed. “You were extraordinarily good.” He comments surprised. “Am I dating a delinquent or something?” He jokes.

Dean laughs loudly. “No Cas, I’m not a delinquent. Stop asking me that. I told you I was a problematic teenager who stole things, got into a few fights, crashed a few things, but nothing else, I promise.” He gives him a sweet look. “I’m just a badass.”

“Yes, you are it.” Castiel agrees with a pout. Dean laughs again. Castiel loves that sound too much, it is so happy and bright that the joy coming from it spreads inside Castiel. “I like that you are a badass.” He confesses timidly.

“You do?” He arches one eyebrow. He must admit that he is surprised by that confession.

Castiel nods. “Yes I do. Although sometimes it doesn’t do any good to you.” He looks at him with his recrimination look. Dean rolls his eyes. “But you wouldn’t be the same without it.” He smiles.

Dean smirks. “Yeah. Like you without your awkwardness.”

Castiel lets out a soft laugh. “Exactly.”

They keep walking for a while. The house is still too far. Dean inhales sharply once in a while and Castiel smiles, although he tries not to make it too noticeable; he knows that Dean wants to finish walking this long path to the house and drop out the heavy plastic bags.

It is a really nice day and it is a shame that they can’t seize it, like walking without the things they shopped, or make a picnic, or just lie down in the forest and take a small nap. Dean would really love doing any of that. It has been months since the weather was this good and it sucks just to have to work and walk back to the house with that heavy load.

Dean looks at Cas; he looks as gorgeous as always, but the sun makes his eyes be even more stunning than usually. Also he is wearing fewer layers of clothes than these last months, he is only wearing a t-shirt and a hooded jacket, which is zipped down and he has the sleeves rolled up. His hair is the usual mess that Dean adores. It would be great to make out in the woods.

Dean raises his eyebrows and he smirks. “You told me that the collars don’t have anything on them that can track us, right?” Dean asks as he stops walking.

Castiel stops walking as well. He tilts his head and he narrows his eyes, just like he always does when he is confused. “Yes. Why do you ask?”

Dean doesn’t say anything. He just smirks and he starts to walk towards the woods, without looking back at Cas, who is still on the road, looking at Dean’s back oddly, because he doesn’t know or understand why Dean is walking through the woods right now.

“Dean.” Castiel calls, trying to get an explanation or a look from Dean, but Dean keeps walking slowly, as if he wanted Cas to follow him. “Dean!” He exclaims. But once again, he doesn’t obtain anything from Dean. “Dean, what are you doing?!” He exclaims again and he starts to follow the same path Dean took. “Dean! Dean! Dean!” Finally Dean turns his face and he looks at Cas with a mysterious smile. “Dean what—” But Dean turns his face and he keeps walking, going deeper in the woods. Castiel grunts and he tries to follow Dean’s steps. Dean is walking faster so Castiel has to speed up.

After a few moments, Dean finally stops and he drops down the plastic bags. Castiel arrives not longer than him and he looks at him, trying to understand anything. He drops the plastic bags down too and then he looks at Dean with expectant eyes. He is about to ask him something, but Dean doesn’t let him before he cups his face and he kisses him. He pushes him against a big oak. Castiel just lets himself go and he kisses Dean back, feeling the need of Dean in his lips.

Castiel looks at him surprised when Dean pulls away just a few inches, enough distance to not kiss but to still feel their lips grazing. “We are safe here.” Dean starts to say. “Nobody can’t see us, right?”

“Right.” Castiel says as if he was running out of air.

Dean half closes his eyes and he approaches his mouth to Cas’ a little bit more, but he doesn’t kiss him. “We still got time. We are alone here. It is a fucking wonderful day and you look so fucking gorgeous.” He says before kissing him in a desperate way.

Castiel runs his fingers fast through Dean’s hair, digging his nails on Dean’s scalp. He opens his mouth to let Dean get his tongue inside his mouth. Castiel draws Dean closer to him, kissing him in a desperate, needy and arousing way. Dean’s hands go to the small of his back and he embraces him tightly, as if Dean was scared of Cas falling down.

Castiel breathes needy when Dean’s mouth pulls away. Their lips are already a bit swollen and with their saliva on them. Dean looks at him in that way, with that sight he only has for Cas, telling him how much he loves him, how much he needs him, how much he wants him. And Dean kisses Castiel’s mouth again, releasing all that fire Dean is made of and Castiel moans in the kiss and he holds himself tighter on Dean.

Dean’s mouth moves from Castiel’s mouth to his jaw, kissing the sensitive spots of it, pressing more or less depending on the place, so Castiel can moan and tremble on Dean.

“Dean.” Castiel moans. He parts his lips and he tilts his head, so Dean can have better access to his skin. “Dean.” He repeats in that soft voice that Dean loves. “Dean.” He digs his nails a little bit more on Dean’s scalp. Then, he lets out a breath.

“Love you, Cas.” Dean whispers into his skin.

Castiel moans before he speaks. “I love you too.”

Dean’s mouth goes back to Castiel’s mouth. They kiss slowly, feeling how the heat keeps rising up. Dean’s hands move from the small of Castiel’s back to the front of his pants. It doesn’t take Dean a lot of time to unbutton and unzip the worn jeans.  
“What are you doing?” Castiel asks in a pant, pulling away from Dean’s mouth.

Dean kisses him briefly and then, he looks at him teasingly. He kisses Castiel’s neck as he pulls down the jeans. “You’ll see.” Dean only says.

Castiel would love to ask, but Dean’s mouth is distracting him, taking away the words from his mind and his tongue, until the only thing he can say is Dean’s name or just some muffled noises in the shapes of moans. And right now, Castiel doesn’t want to waste time speaking; he just wants to feel Dean.

Dean caresses his cock, feeling the fiber of his boxers. Castiel gets half hard with those touches. Then, Dean pulls down the boxers and he stops kissing Castiel’s neck. They look at each other; Castiel’s eyes show confusion and Dean’s passion. But both of their eyes show how much they want this.

Dean kneels, without taking away his eyes off Cas. He places his hands on Castiel’s hipbones, sneaking them under Castiel’s clothes, so he can feel his skin. Then, he opens his mouth and he starts to suck Castiel’s cock.

“Dean— oh—!” Castiel moans. He tilts his head up, feeling the tree trunk on his head. Castiel closes his eyes and he starts to breathe heavily as Dean’s mouth and tongue keep doing wonderful things on his cock.

Castiel digs his nails on Dean’s scalp, tightening his grip on Dean, who swirls his tongue along the shaft, tasting the salty skin of Castiel. He tries to swallow it all, pushing it down his throat and Castiel moans louder; it echoes through the woods.

“Dean— your mouth— oh Dean—” Castiel says. He can’t turn the sentences in his mind into proper words. It’s Dean’s fault. He always leaves him unable to talk properly and bless him for that.

Dean keeps blowing Cas with all his passion, tasting, sucking and licking Castiel’s cock, moving his tongue along all the sensitive places, feeling how Castiel pushes him, so Dean can have it all inside his mouth.

Castiel thinks he is going to lose the strength on his knees, that sooner or later he is going to collapse and fall down, because Dean is too good at this. He rocks his hips softly, fucking into Dean’s mouth, and Dean swallows it all, swirling his tongue. Castiel groans and he bites his lower lip hardly, trying to avoid another screaming moan, because it feels too fucking good. There are a lot of sensations running through his body and Castiel loves all of them and he wants more and more.

And Dean gives him more; like he always does. He swallows Castiel’s cock downer and Castiel shakes his legs and he makes half a groan half a moan, even Dean moans against his cock, and it sounds and it feels too marvelous. 

Castiel comes and his legs start to tremble. Dean doesn’t pull his mouth away when Castiel’s come fills his mouth; he licks it as swallows it. Castiel makes a smile as he keeps in the heat of coming; he adores it when Dean does that.

Castiel breathes desperate, it feels as if his lungs didn’t have air for years. He runs his fingers slowly through Dean’s hair as Dean keeps licking his come. Castiel feels heavy right now, he doesn’t know how he hasn’t fallen into the floor.

When Dean is done with Castiel’s come, he stands up and he leans, so he can kiss Castiel, who holds him by the small of his back and he pulls him closer. He loves when Dean’s mouth tastes like his come, so he darts his tongue inside his mouth, feeling the mix of his taste and Dean’s, making Dean to moan.

“Is this a common thing in the Free Lands?” Castiel asks.

“No.” Dean smiles. Castiel starts to play with Dean’s bottom lip. “But I bet that some people do it.” He cups Castiel’s face and he kisses him in a fiercely and breathtaking way.

Castiel inhales desperate and needy when Dean pulls away. He rests his forehead on Dean’s and he starts to pant heavily. “I need to catch my breath if you are going to kiss me like that again.”

Dean laughs. Then, he kisses Castiel’s lips, it is a short and sweet kiss. “Okay.” He says laughing. Then, he pulls up Castiel’s boxers and jeans with the help of Castiel.

“You are hard.” Castiel murmurs. He looks down at Dean’s crotch.

“Don’t worry, it will be back to its place in a few moments.” He says against Castiel’s mouth.

“We still have time for something.” He is still panting, but words come out easier and with less difficulty than before.

Dean bites his lower lip; Cas is always willing to reciprocate. Dean moves closer, until their lips are touching and their eyelashes are caressing. “Shouldn’t we go back?” He sasses with a cocky voice. Castiel smirks and he grabs with his hands Dean’s cock, which is still hidden under the boxers and the jeans. Dean lets out a groan. “What do you want from me, Cas?” There’s that arousing sexy voice Dean uses when he tries to play dirty with Cas.

Castiel is breathing in an agitated way. He licks his lips before he speaks. “Everything.”

Dean has to kiss him again in a fiercely, passionate and breathtaking way, because holy shit, the way Cas said that, it made Dean’s heart stop for a couple of seconds. Dean sucks with words but he can say those words with his kisses.

Castiel twirls them, so Dean is now the one with his back on the oak. Dean pulls his mouth away from Castiel’s and he starts to bite his earlobe. Castiel closes his eyes strongly and his breathing starts to be really agitated again. He fists Dean’s jacket and he presses himself on Dean’s body. “Do you want to fuck me here, Cas?” Dean asks.

“Yes.” Castiel confesses. “I want to fuck you.” He breathes out. He searches with his hands Dean’s jeans and he unbuttons them and unzips them as Dean kisses his neck and with his sneaky hands he caresses Castiel’s sides.

Jo will suspect, because they are taking a lot of time, but they will lie later, right now, it doesn’t matter. It is the two of them, in the forest, touching, kissing and about to have sex. That’s the only thing that matters right now.

Castiel pulls down his jeans and his boxers and he turns Dean around, so he is facing the oak. He starts to kiss Dean’s neck and then, he kisses the skin behind his ear. Dean makes a soft but wonderful moan.

The sunlight lets Castiel to appreciate Dean’s freckles, which are more noticeable with it and he loves it. He keeps kissing Dean’s skin and he starts to open him up. The first finger comes easily and Dean rocks his hips, asking for more, so Castiel gets another one and Dean moans. Castiel gets the third finger and he touches Dean’s prostate, getting from Dean a really loud moan.

“Cas— I’m ready— Fuck me—” Dean begs.

It didn’t take Cas too long to be hard. He gets out his fingers, something that makes Dean to grunt a little and then, Castiel starts to push his cock inside Dean, who at first groans but then, he starts to fuck into it. Castiel grabs Dean’s hands and he lifts them, until Dean’s palms are touching the wood of the oak and they tangle their fingers together.

Castiel starts to get his cock in and out of Dean with hard thrusts and Dean moans and he rocks his hips, fucking into Cas’ cock. He tilts his head up, almost leaning it on Cas’ shoulder. Dean closes his eyes and he parts his lips, letting out all the sounds that Cas is responsible of.

“Cas— Fuck— Right there— Oh— Cas, babe—” Dean moans really loud.

Dean is breathing heavily, although he is unsure how he is still breathing. His body hits a bit hard against the tree with every hard thrust Cas gives to him. It feels too fucking awesome how Cas fucks him, how he kisses his neck and how his cock touches that sweet place, building all those too fucking awesome sensations in Dean, making him to tremble, to shake and to rock, until it is only Cas and he. And Cas keeps giving him, fucking him with all his heart and soul and Dean keeps giving Cas what he needs, tightening around his cock so Cas moans too.

It doesn’t take a lot for Dean to come and soon the woods feel the echo of his orgasm. Cas comes a few moments later, and he leans his forehead on the end of Dean’s neck. Both of them are trying to catch their breaths. It feels like the air is made of burning fire and their bodies were boneless. And it feels too good.

“I love you.” Castiel mumbles. He embraces Dean and he fists the cover of his t-shirt.

Dean drops down his hands, all red in their palms and with the mark of the wood. “I love you.” He says breathy.

“I—” Castiel starts to say. He gets out of Dean, who whimpers because he fucking hates the coldness and the emptiness that embraces him when Cas is no longer inside of him. “I—” Castiel repeats. He isn’t sure what he wants to say. He is too exhausted and rapt.

“What is it, love?” Dean pants out. He feels Castiel’s smile on his skin. Castiel loves it when Dean calls him _love_.

Castiel takes several breathes before he can talk. “I think we have gone insane.” He laughs.

Dean laughs as well. “Yeah.” He leans his forehead on the tree trunk and he takes a deep breath. “I’m fucking nuts for you.”

Castiel embraces him tighter and he turns his face, so he can presses his cheek against Dean. There’s a small silence in between, only broke by their hard breathings. “I’m really tired.”

Dean turns over so he can face Cas. “Let’s lie down for a while.” He says pulling up his jeans and his trousers.

Castiel does the same. “Dean, we have been here for too long, Jo will suspect.”

“Don’t worry.” Dean kneels and he catches Castiel’s hand. Castiel gives him his confused face; tilt of head and his usual frown. Dean pulls softly Castiel down, so Castiel kneels. “I’ll tell her that I sprained my ankle and I couldn’t walk.”

“You’ll have to pretend that your ankle is sprained when she sees you.”

“Well, I can tell her that I just needed some minutes and that after that, my ankle was right again.” He suggests with a pout. Castiel rolls his eyes and he looks at him unconvincing. “Cas, you are fucking exhausted, I am it too, but not as much as you.” Dean starts to say with a protective voice. “Let’s take a rest. The path back to the house is too fucking long and there’s no way we are going to walk right now.”

Castiel sighs. “Fine.”

Dean smiles and he lies down on the grass. Cas lies down next to him. Dean runs his fingers through the grass; it has been years since he did this. He likes how the grass caresses his hand as he moves it. He closes his eyes and he enjoys the feeling. Meanwhile, Castiel holds Dean’s hand and he looks at Dean. When Dean opens his eyes, he turns his face and he smiles at Cas, who blushes a little and smiles him too.

“What’s going in your head?” Dean asks. He knows that look on Cas. It means that he is thinking a lot of things, but he doesn’t say them because he prefers to tell them with his eyes and his smile.

“That I’m grateful that we met.” Castiel answers. He squeezes Dean’s hand. “Although I wished it wasn’t here but— you understand what I mean.”

“Yeah, I do.” He moves and he kisses Castiel sweetly and slowly.

“Do you think we will make it?” Castiel asks. He is on the woods, but they aren’t as beautiful as the woods in Dean’s eyes, the ones he always likes to get lost in. “Do you think we will run away and nothing bad will happen?”

Dean frowns in confusion. Why is Cas bringing this now? He stares into that sea, trying to find the answer. There aren’t doubts, but there’s fear. “I think we will. I know a lot of things can happen and fuck, I wish nothing bad happens, but I truly think we can make it.” He answers. Castiel nods and he looks down. “You are scared.” It isn’t a question.

Castiel sighs and he looks back at Dean’s eyes. “A bit, yes.” He inhales heavily. “Dean, don’t get me wrong, I want to scape, I want it so bad, but I know how things in this country are. If I lose you I don’t know what I am going to do. You are everything in my life and if—” Dean interrupts him with a kiss. Castiel looks at him oddly when he pulls away.

“I know what you mean. And fuck, if something happens to you, I’ll go mad and who the fuck knows what would I do?” He takes a deep breath before he cups with his hand Castiel’s face. “This isn’t going to be easy. We both know that. And I know that you want to fight so fucking hard to be out of here, to be at home with me. But once we do it, we can’t let the fear take over us.”

“Yes, I know, it is just that—” He takes a deep breath.

“It’s just that…?”

“I can’t stop worrying about you.”

Dean smiles. “You haven’t stopped worrying about me since the first day we met.”

Castiel chuckles. “Not the first day.”

“Well, the second or the third.” Dean laughs. Castiel joins his laughter. “We’ll make it. I promise.”

“I admire how sure you are about this.”

“Shut up.” He says disturbed, something that makes Castiel to chuckle. “I’ve got doubts Cas, like you, but I’m not gonna let that doubts get in our way. I want to get out of here and spend the rest of my life with you as free men and happily.”

“I want that too.” Castiel says with a soft smile drawn on his lips. Dean makes a proud smile. Castiel closes his eyes and he draws himself closer to Dean, until he can kiss him. “What would I do without you?”

Dean smiles at him. They spend some more time in silence, looking at each other before Dean says. “Guess we should be going back to the road, don’t you think?”

Castiel nods. They stand up, pick up the plastic bags and they walk towards the road. If they could, they would spend the whole morning lying on the grass, looking at each other, taking a small nap, looking at the sky, but they can’t, they are already later than they should be, but luckily, one of these days, they will be able to do that. Very soon.


	42. Suspicious

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks a lot for reading, for the kudos, for the bookmarks, the comments and the subscriptions ^^

It is lunch time, so Dean and Castiel are in the kitchen, like always, eating their food, as far as they can from the rest of slaves. Today there’s rice with sautéed vegetables. It isn’t the best thing they have eaten, but it isn’t the worst at least. Dean would rather eat anything better and tastier, but he has been in this house for too long and he knows he can’t get what he wants.

Castiel looks at him with a smile, that smile he puts when he knows Dean doesn’t like too much the food. That smile shows what a little shit Cas is and Dean glares at him, although he loves too much that smile.

“You love it when I don’t like the food, huh?” Dean says with a fake annoyed voice.

“I do. You make funny faces. And I love how you keep glaring at your food, as if it was going to turn into another one you like.” Castiel says jokingly.

“You son of a bitch.” He laughs.

Castiel bends a little his thorax, leaning his elbows on the table, trying to be closer to Dean, so he can be the only one who hears him. “I’ll force you to eat vegetables once we are home.” He whispers with a bossy voice.

Dean arches a brow. “Yeah? And who is gonna cook it?” He knows that Castiel sucks at cooking, well, he doesn’t have any experience. The last time Cas was in a kitchen, he was sixteen and he only opened the fridge to eat some snack.

“If I have to, I will learn how to cook them.” He sounds challenging.

Dean dedicates him a happy and cute smile; it is one of those smiles that are only for Cas. “Awww, you are adorable.”

Castiel blushes a little and he smiles timidly. Then, he goes back to his place and he keeps eating. They spend eating a few minutes more and then, they go together to the garage. The great weather only lasted a day, now the cold is back, the usual temperature of January, so instead of taking the long path outside the house, they walk the hall, until they arrive at the garage, where Dean stays and Castiel has to open the big door, in order to get into the garden.

“Aren’t you gonna be cold?” Dean says when Castiel is about to open the big door. It is quite cold. Castiel is wearing a t-shirt, one of Dean’s Henley t-shirts and a hoodie, but Dean doesn’t want him to get cold.

“I’m not. You know there have been colder days.” Castiel says sweetly.

“Okay.” He says. “See you later.” He farewells with his hand.

“See you Dean.” He says with an honest smile.

Castiel opens the door and then, he moves it down, closing it, but not completely, he leaves a small space in between, so when suppertime is about to arrive, he will just have to lift it without any problem. Also, if it stays like that, the garage won’t be too cold, so Dean won’t feel the hard temperatures.

Castiel walks towards the garden. Like he has been doing for several years, he picks the gardening tools and he works on everything that needs to be done, from pruning, watering, fixing, cleaning the benches… Anything. The garden is huge and there’s always a lot to do, a lot to take care of. 

The afternoon goes by, as slow as always. Castiel glances at the garage when he is on the ladder once in a while, even if he can’t see Dean hidden behind the door, but it always feels good to know that Dean is right there. It calms him a lot.

As Castiel is pruning some hedges, it is one of the last things he will do because suppertime will arrive in less than an hour, he sees the garage door is being opened and Crowley’s Mercedes Benz gets out of it. Castiel’s heart beats fast when he sees Crowley leaving the house; Dean and he could seize this opportunity to run away. He needs to discuss this with Dean. So he gets down from the ladder and when he is about to drop the secateurs down, he sees that Jo is right there, standing next to him.

“Hello Castiel.” Jo says with a hard and angry voice, but her lips have a creepy and almost a satisfactory smile; something that Castiel doesn’t like.

“Hello Miss Harvelle.” Castiel says dryly, but trying to be a little bit polite.

Jo takes one step forward, being closer to Castiel and facing him. “What are you doing?”

Castiel frowns confused. “I was pruning.”

“I see.” She looks at the hedge and then he looks back at Castiel. She makes a strange smile and she starts to walk, in parallel to the hedge. Castiel watches her with mistrust; he doesn’t understand too well what Jo is doing there and why she is acting like that. Castiel would like to say something, but he keeps his mouth shut; just in case. Jo turns over and she walks towards Castiel. “There’s only the two of us here, right?”

“Yes.” He is too puzzled. Jo is up to something and Castiel knows it isn’t something good.

“Good.” Jo only says. And as if she got it out of nowhere, Jo grabs her stun gun and Castiel passes out. He isn’t conscious when his body falls down on the floor.

 

When Castiel starts to be conscious again, he doesn’t open his eyes at first. His head hurts a lot and he feels dizzy. He feels as if he was tied. He tries to move away from whenever he is, but he can’t.

“Try as much as you want Castiel.” Jo says. She sounds a bit far from where Castiel is. “I made sure that you were well tied. I don’t want you to get away from here now.”

Castiel opens his eyes slowly, there’s a light focusing him, illuminating only him. The rest of the room is darkened, but he knows where he is; he is in the punishment room. He can recognize it even if it is dark. He looks at himself after looking around. He is tied to a chair. There are ropes on his chest, on his legs, on his waist, on his ankles and on his wrists. He shakes his body again, trying to get out, but it is a failed attempt.

“Just like Dean.” Jo laughs with joy. Castiel hears her heels against the floor as she approaches him. She appears in front of him and she is wearing her brass knuckles. “Fighting until the last moment, even if it is useless.” She digs her nails on Castiel’s cheeks. Castiel glares her and it seems that Jo finds it really funny by the laughter she lets out. “You are as stupid as Dean.”

Castiel smirks and he spits her. “Not stupid. Just brave.” He says cockily as Jo pulls away and she wipes off the spit.

Jo punches him in the nose with the brass knuckles. The nose’s bone breaks easily with the punch and a river of blood starts to fall down from Castiel’s nose, accompanied with an intense pain. Castiel doesn’t scream, he only grunts a little. The blood caresses his lips and his chin, until falls down to his knees in small drops.

“You are as stupid as him.” Jo spits the words with rage. She digs her nails again in Castiel’s cheek, but this time she does it harder, until she can feel Castiel’s skin tearing a little, so a little bit of blood appears under her nails. “This has just only started Castiel, so I’d recommend you not to piss me off.”

“I don’t even know why I am here.” He says.

Now the punch goes to his chin and Castiel spits out some blood. He glares at Jo, who is getting angrier and angrier. Patience isn’t one of her virtues. “You know it well.”

“No, I don’t.” He says challenging.

It only makes Jo to get angrier and she punches him on the temple. Castiel grunts, spitting more blood. He has a lot of blood scattered on the lowest part of his face, the pain it is insufferable and he is starting to feel really tired. If he wasn’t tied on a chair, sitting on it, he knows his legs would have collapsed and he would have fallen down.

“I know you and Dean stole those collars.” She says angrily. She starts to clean the blood off the brass knuckles with a cloth. “And I just found out someone stole me my money.” She adds. Castiel frowns, pretending he is confused. “I know you and Dean are behind this.”

“We aren’t. I don’t even know where the hell you keep your money.”

Jo lets out an acid laugh. “Of course Castiel, of course.” She says sarcastically. He grabs Castiel’s hair and she makes him tilt his head up, hurting Castiel. “Do you think I am stupid?” She asks in a superior way. Castiel doesn’t take his eyes off hers. He doesn’t want to show her any weakness. “Dean knew about the safe box. You knew about the collars.” She explains with mistrust. “The collars and the money. You two are trying to escape.”

“Don’t you think that if that was possible we would have escaped a long time ago?” He says in a disgusted way.

Jo punches his temple again and this time Castiel grunts loudly. Now there’s blood running down his eyebrow as well. “Don’t play the fool with me Castiel. You know how things work in the Brown Lands. You have the money and the collars, you have all you two need to run away.”

It hurts Castiel to speak, but he does it anyways. “And when could we run away? We can’t open the main door without a key and the bedrooms can’t be opened.”

Jo makes a dry laugh. “I know. But you two are really stupid that you will try to get away.” He approaches Castiel again and she digs her nails in the hurt skin of Castiel. “Where’s my money?”

“I don’t know.”

Jo punches his nose again. “Where’s my money?!”

“I don’t know!”

She punches Castiel three times. “Where’s my money Castiel?!” She yells really loud. “Where it is?!” She keeps punching him over and over, hurting him a lot and Castiel thinks he is going to pass out really soon if Jo keeps punching him like that. His face hurts, it is swollen, it is bleeding and there are a few broken bones.

It doesn’t matter how many times Jo punches him, how much blood runs down his face, how many bones she breaks, how painful everything can get, he isn’t going to tell her the truth. He can hold this. He will hold and hold, even if she pushes him beyond his limits. Jo can’t find out about the collars and the money. It is their only ticket out of this house.

 

Dean is waiting for Castiel in the garage. He should have arrived a few minutes ago, but he didn’t show up. Dean has already everything gathered up and he is waiting for his boyfriend, but Cas doesn’t appear. What if something happened to him? Cas is never late, he always arrives on time. The only time he didn’t show up in the garage was when he and Dean argued, but that was a long time ago and Dean knows that everything was fucking perfect when they said goodbye to each other after having lunch. He should search for him.

Dean switches the lights off and he goes towards the garden. He closes the big door; he will take the long path to the kitchen. Right now that isn’t too important. He has to find Cas. He has a really bad feeling about this, and Dean hopes he is wrong.

“Cas!” Dean calls for him. He is already in the garden, looking around, but he can’t see Cas. Maybe he had an accident or something. His beating is starting to rise and the fear is taking his body slowly. “Cas!” He calls again, this time is a bit desperate. “CAS!” He starts to run, looking for his boyfriend desperately, but he doesn’t find him. Suddenly, he sees the ladder. Also, there are the gardening tools on the floor. Cas never leaves things like that, he always gathers them up. “Cas.” Dean says with a broken voice. Something has happened and he kind of knows who is behind this.

Dean runs towards the house, running as fast as he can. His heart is rushing and panic and anger has taken over his body. He needs to find Cas, to keep him safe and he needs to do it as fast as he can, before it is too late. He knows where he must be, but maybe he is somewhere else. He goes first to the kitchen, just in case Cas is already there, but he isn’t. All the other slaves are already eating and when they hear Dean coming, all of them turn their faces. Everyone except Alastair gives him an odd look. Alastair, however, looks at him with a happy and smug smile drawn on his stupid face. He knows about Castiel.

Dean walks towards Alastair and he grabs him by his shoulders, moving him away from the chair he was sitting on. All the slaves let out shocked noises and some of them stand up. Dean smashes Alastair against the wall, making the iron cookware that are hanging on the wall to shake and hit against the kitchen wall.

“Looking for your lovely Castiel?” Alastair says with a mocking voice.

“Where is he?!” Dean says smashing him against the wall a bit painfully. “You know it!”

“I do. But I’m not going to tell you.” He says with a creepy smile that shows his teeth.

Dean grunts, showing his teeth, without thinking it twice, he hits him a couple of times with his head, as hard as he can and Alastair starts to grunt painfully. “Where. Is. Castiel.” Dean says punctuating with all his anger and aggressiveness those three words.

Alastair grunts and glares Dean. “You know where he is.”

Dean releases one of his hands and he punches in the nose Alastair. All the slaves let out another shocked surprise and Dean drops down to the floor Alastair. Dean ignores all those astonished and sick looks the slaves are giving to him and he walks away from the kitchen angrily. He runs towards the stairs. There is rage mixed with panic and determination in Dean’s blood. His heart is pumping blood faster and faster and there is a strange mix of cold and hot in Dean’s body. He runs through the hall until he opens the punishment room door and he sees Jo is punching Castiel.

She turns angrily. “What are you doing here?!” She is really pissed off.

Dean walks angrily towards her. “Leave him alone!”

“Or what?” She says cockily.

Dean grabs her wrist and he twists it until Jo starts to scream painfully. Jo has to bend his knees to avoid the pain. Then, Dean pushes her away as strong as he can, making her to smash the wall and fall down, and then, he runs towards the chair Castiel is tied on. Jo has destroyed his angel face. One of his eyes is swollen, it is going to be a black eye tomorrow, there’s blood everywhere, especially from his nose down, his face is all red and swollen, but his eyes look at Dean with all the love he has for him.

“Dean—” Castiel starts to say. “You shouldn’t—”

“Shut up.” Dean says. He kneels and he starts to untie the ropes around Castiel’s ankles. He looks at Castiel’s eyes again. Jo has hurt Castiel a lot. Dean isn’t sure if he was as much hurt as Castiel is right now ever.

“Dean!” Castiel yells.

When Dean turns his face, all he can see is Jo’s fist going to his nose. The brass knuckles make Dean’s nose to break and to let blood fall down from it. It hurts like hell and Dean overbalances, but he doesn’t fall down. Jo hits the back of Dean’s knees with an iron bar and Dean falls down on the floor. After that, Jo drops the iron bar and she kicks Dean’s jaw. Some blood splatters on Castiel and Jo’s dress.

“No! Stop! Don’t hurt him!” Castiel yells furiously. He tries to get out from the ropes, but he can’t; they are too tight.  
But Jo doesn’t stop, she keeps kicking Dean’s face, making more wounds to appear that let more blood free, leaving red rivers on Dean’s face. Dean tries to fight back, but he can’t, she is quick and hard and Dean can’t do anything.

“Did you honestly think nothing was going to happen to you?!” Jo asks in a furious yell. She kicks Dean’s stomach and Dean has to spit blood. “You can’t hurt me like that!”

“Leave him!” Castiel screams with a heartbreaking and angry voice. Jo stops kicking Dean and she punches Castiel, who spits more blood. She grabs again the iron bar and she hits Castiel’s knees with it in a painful way. Then, she kneels and she digs her nails on Dean’s cheeks. Dean’s face is almost as bad as Castiel’s, but he doesn’t have a swollen eye. “Why do you do this for him? Why do you have to be his knight?”

“Because he is the only worth person here.” Dean whispers angrily.

Jo punches him and Castiel tries to do something, but he can’t. He sees how Jo keeps hurting Dean and Castiel can’t do anything, just watch, because of the fucking ropes that keep him tied up. He shakes and he shakes, but the only thing he does is to fall down with the chair, ending on the floor, as if he was lying aside.

Dean looks at him, as if he was trying to tell him that everything is going to be okay, that nothing bad is going to happen, but it is so hard to believe that when Castiel is seeing how Dean is being hurt, how more blood appears from his nose, from his mouth, from his temple, from everywhere where Jo is kicking him and punching him. Castiel’s eyes are filled with tears and he keeps grunting frustrated and angry, trying to get free. He hates seeing Dean suffering.

“Dean.” Castiel says breathy. “Stop hurting him!” He yells desperate and with rage. But it only makes Jo to hurt him and punch him a couple of times before she is back to hurt Dean.

It goes like that for several minutes, but for Dean and Cas it seems like hours. Dean can’t move from exhaustion and Castiel can’t because of the ropes, although if he wasn’t tied, he knows he won’t be able to move either because he feels terribly bad and tired.

Jo sighs frustrated after a while. She is exhausted of trying to get something out of them. She punches Dean again and then, she punches Castiel, leaving him almost unconscious.

“Cas.” Dean whispers with a heartbreaking voice. He is about to say something to Jo, but she kicks his jaw and Dean grunts and closes his eyes, trying to avoid all those painful sounds that his throat wants to let out.

“You fucking assholes.” She says. Then, she leaves the room.

“Cas—” Dean says when he can’t hear Jo’s heels. Everything hurts and he doesn’t know how he can approach Cas, but he does it slowly. Cas is much worse than him. “Cas— Please—”

“Dean.” Castiel mumbles breathy. It is almost impossible to hear it, but Dean can hear it. “Dean.” He repeats.

“Cas— love—” Dean says a bit relieved. For a moment he thought Cas was in a comma or something. He caresses his bleeding cheek. Dean makes a sob.

“You shouldn’t have come.” He says lower than Dean’s name. He still has his eyes closed, it feels too difficult to open them; his eyelids are too heavy right now. “You shouldn’t have hurt her.”

“Shut up.” He feels how some tears fall down from his eyes. “I couldn’t let her hurt you more.”

“But she hurt you.”

“Not as much as you.” He approaches Cas more and he rests his forehead on Castiel’s. “I arrived too late.” He groans.

“Dean—” It is so hard for Castiel to speak right now. He doesn’t know what to say, words seem to be stuck in his throat and his tongue feels useless, but he manages to say some more words. “I love you.” Some more tears fall down, meeting the blood.

“I love you too, Cas. I love you too fucking much.” He closes his eyes and a few more tears fall down. He groans and he tightens his grip on Cas. “We need to get back to the bedroom.”

“I don’t know if I’ll make it. I’m too tired.”

“I’ll carry you.”

“Dean, you are as bad as me.” He says with his worried voice.

Dean starts to stand up. “I’ve been worst and you know it.” He says. He starts to untie Cas. The ropes were too tight and there are marks on Castiel’s wrists. Dean knows there will be marks on everywhere the ropes were. “Besides, she hurt your knees; I don’t think you are in the right conditions to walk. C’mon love.” Dean says when Cas is freed. “Embrace my neck.”

Castiel opens his eyes slightly and he embraces Dean’s neck. “Like this?” He asks tiredly and breathy.

“Yeah.” Dean says. He is too fucking exhausted, but Cas is worse. They can’t just stay there the whole night. It is going to be a long and fucking tiring way back to the bedroom, but Dean will hold for Cas. He grabs Castiel and he starts to walk with Cas in his arms.

“If people see us like this—” Castiel starts to say.

“Fuck them.” Dean spits out. “You can’t barely move and I’m not gonna leave you in that fucking room.”

Castiel makes the tiniest of the smiles and he tightens his grip on Dean’s neck in a sweet way. “I love you.” He whispers extremely low.

“I love you.” He whispers also.

Luckily, they don’t run into anyone. Dean walks slowly; Cas feels too heavy in his arms, but Dean has to make another effort. Their bedroom isn’t too far and Dean has to hold on a little bit more. Soon they will be in the safety of their bedroom and no one will touch them.

Dean opens the door and when he locks it, Castiel speaks. “We could take a hot bath.”

“I like the idea.” Dean says in a groan. A hot bath will relax them. They will take care of the wounds later. Right now, they are too exhausted to even heal each other. So Dean goes with Cas in his arms towards the bathroom and he leaves Cas sitting on the border of the bathtub. He makes a painful and exhausted grunt.

“You shouldn’t have carried me all the way.” Castiel says ashamed. Jo didn’t broke Castiel’s knees, but she was about to, and Castiel knows that if he stands up, he will fall.

“Cas, shut up.” Dean says sitting next to him. He opens the tap and he lets the hot water fill the bathtub. “I know what it feels like. She hurts your face only, but the pain is so intense, that you can’t stay still, because you fall. And she even hurt your knees, so it is impossible to not fall down and much less to walk.” He takes a needy breath. He walks towards the door and he closes it.

“But you could have fallen too.” He says looking at him with sad eyes.

“I didn’t.” Dean starts to get undress and Castiel starts too. “We are here, that’s what matters. I’m too tired to argue, love.”

“You are right.” He says. He sees that the bathtub is filled with enough water and he turns off the tap. Then, he keeps taking off his clothes.

Dean is the one to get in the bathtub, then, he helps Castiel to get in, being Dean under Cas, so Dean holds Castiel’s waist, pulling him closer, until Cas’ back is well pressed against Dean’s chest, and Castiel leans his nape on Dean’s shoulder. The water temperature is wonderful and both of them thank it because it makes them feel less tired.

Dean kisses Castiel’s temple before he asks. “Why did she take you?”

“She wanted to know about the stolen money.” Castiel starts to say. He searches Dean’s hands and he holds them. He takes a deep breath before going on. “She said that she knew we did it. That she knew we wanted to run away. I tell her that it was impossible for us to run away, because we didn’t have the key for the main door and we couldn’t get out of our bedroom once we get here to sleep.” He inhales sharply. He closes his eyes and he presses his forehead on Dean’s jaw. “She got angry because I wasn’t telling her what she wanted to hear. She kept asking me where the money was and I kept telling her that I didn’t know, so she kept punching me.”

“Oh Cas—” Dean says with a heartbreaking voice.

“Don’t worry. We knew this was going to happen sooner or later.”

Dean cups Castiel’s face and he kisses him, as softly as he can, trying not to cause to any of them any pain at all, although it is a bit difficult because of all the wounds in their faces. They taste their bloods in their kiss, no one has wiped off the dried rivers of blood in their faces, but they don’t seem to care about it right now. It feels good to be having a bath together and kissing after all that pain.

They rest their foreheads together and they close their eyes. They can feel their exhausting breathings. Dean runs his fingers through Castiel’s hair in a needy way and Castiel pulls himself closer to Dean so they can kiss again in a that slowly and delicate way once again.

Castiel feels really exhausted, almost as when he was punished with the ice. But the hot bath and Dean makes him feel better. The heavy weight on his body seems to fade away slowly, and he knows that if he breaks in million pieces, Dean is right there and he will pick every single piece and put him together. Like always.

Castiel places his temple on Dean’s cheek and he closes his eyes. He takes a deep breath and he nuzzles Dean’s jaw. Dean turns his face to kiss his temple and he moves one of his hands from Cas’ waist to his chest and he starts to stroke it slowly.

Dean starts to hum a song. Castiel takes a deep and silent breath, feeling how Dean’s humming echoes his body in a gentle way. _“Working from seven to eleven every night.”_ Dean starts to sing in a soft a low voice, but it is perfectly audible for Castiel. _“It makes life a drag.”_ With his fingers he touches in a delicate way Castiel’s chest, as if he was afraid of breaking Cas if he touched him a bit harder. _“I don’t think that’s right.”_ Dean’s voice is soft and beautiful and Castiel sinks in that sweet but rough voice he loves a lot. _“I’ve really been the best, the best of fools.”_ He nuzzles Castiel’s hair and Castiel makes his usual timid smile. _“I did what I could.”_ Dean closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. Then, he keeps singing in the same soft way. _“‘Cause I love you, baby, how I love you, darling, how I love you, baby.”_ He empathizes those words but without raising his voice. He feels how Cas trembles a little in his arms when he hears those words. He even lets out a needy breath. _“My beloved little Cas, little Cas.”_ In the song, instead of saying _Cas_ , it says _girl,_ but Dean changes it, because he is singing this Led Zeppelin song to Cas. _“But baby, since I’ve been loving you, I’m about to lose my worried mind.”_

Dean keeps humming and Castiel smiles. Dean is like that. He doesn’t need to kiss or touch Cas to make his heart beat faster than ever. Dean can make Cas lose his mind, to leave him be breathless with words, with a smile, with a song or just with one of those looks he gives him once in a while.

“You have a lovely voice.” Castiel says opening his eyes slightly.

Dean makes a chuckle. “If you say so…”

Castiel makes a low laugh and he kisses Dean, slowly and lazily. They don’t say anything after kissing, their eyes are telling what words can. They remain in silence for a while. Dean keeps caressing Cas’ chest as gently as he can and Castiel plays with Dean’s other hand.

After a while, Castiel speaks. “When Jo arrived to the garden, I was about to go the garage and discuss with you about running away tonight because Crowley just left.” His voice is low and a bit pastry, but it shows that he is feeling a little bit better.

“Yeah, it would have been a good chance.” Dean says a bit disappointed.

“We’ll have to wait until we recover from this.”

Dean hums in agreement. “We should heal.”

“I know, but this feels good.” Castiel says tiringly. He snuggles in Dean’s arms, making Dean to let out a soft but bright laugh. “We could stay like this for longer, if you don’t mind.”

“No, Cas, I don’t mind at all.” He tightens his arms around Castiel. “We deserve this after all that beating.”

They stay in the bathtub for some more long minutes, until they feel the water temperature is starting to get colder. They dry themselves with the towels and then, they start to heal each other. Dean heals Cas first and then, Cas heals Dean. The cloths get soaked with blood easily, the wounds hurt when they touch it and it is really difficult to heal each other without causing any pain at all, but they manage to heal each other.

When they have cleaned their wounds, put antiseptic on and some bands where it needed to, Dean goes towards the wardrobe and he picks clothes for both of them. Cas can stay still without falling down, but he finds it really hard to walk, so Dean carries him to bed in his arms once again.

“Don’t get used to this.” Dean says with a joking voice.

“It is a shame.” Castiel says with a soft smile. “I like it.”

Dean drops Castiel as softly as he can on their bed and Castiel gets in it. Then, Dean switches off the light and he get in the bed. “Maybe I’ll carry you again like that.” He promises. He hugs Cas, who buries his face on Dean’s neck. “Maybe if we ever get married.”

Castiel frowns. “I thought you didn’t like marriage, that it was a stupid thing.”

Dean takes a deep breath. “Yeah, I think it is stupid, but— I don’t know Cas.” He shrugs. He can’t see Cas in the darkness, but he knows he is looking at him confused. “Would you say _‘yes’_ if I ever ask you to marry me?”

“Of course that I’d say _yes_.” He says as if he was offended that Dean could think that he would say ‘no’.

“Awesome.” He says with a sweet voice.

“Dean, why are you talking about this right now?” He is puzzled by all of this.

“Dunno.” He mumbles. “I guess that I don’t want to let you go ever. Fuck, it sounds too selfish.”

Castiel nuzzles Dean’s neck. “I’m not going to leave you. And I’m glad to hear that you don’t want me to go. I already knew it, but I like hearing it from you.” He confesses shyly.

“You are the fucking best.” He kisses his temple.

Castiel chuckles. “What if I was the one to ask you to marry me?” He asks as he plays with the collar of Dean’s t-shirt. “Would you say _‘yes’_?”

“Yeah.”

“Good.” Castiel smiles and he closes his eyes. After that, he takes a deep breath. “Let’s sleep, love.”

“Sure.” Dean mumbles with a sleepy voice.


	43. Rush

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks a lot for reading, for the kudos, the bookmarks, the comments and the subscriptions ^^

Dean makes a muffled sound. Castiel thinks it is a mix of a swear, a grunt and a yell. Anyways, Castiel smiles against Dean’s neck and he tightens Dean in his arms. Dean is the little spoon and Castiel loves it. He really loves embracing Dean like this when they are in their bed. Cas presses his cheek on the beginning of Dean’s back, snuggling himself on his boyfriend.

Dean tangles his legs with Cas’ and he smiles. “Feeling lazy, Cas?” Dean asks with his rough and muffled morning voice.

Castiel nods. “You’ve turned me into a lazy ass like you.”

Dean can’t help laughing and Castiel loves how Dean’s body moves with that laughter and he loves feeling it in his arms. “Well, next time you can go and sleep in your bed.” He suggests trying to sound serious, but the teasing voice is too obvious.

“You are crazy if you think I’m going to do that.”

Both of them laugh and then, Dean rolls over so he can face Cas. He places his hand on Castiel’s hair brushing it and he kisses him in a sweet but dirty way, making Cas to moan a little. Cas places his hand on the back of Dean’s neck, pushing Dean closer, until any space left is nonexistent.

“Love it when you are so eager.” Dean confesses. He bites his lower lip as his lips draw a beautiful smile.

“You love me in any possible way.” Castiel says nuzzling Dean’s nose, something that makes Dean’s smile to get bigger. Then, Castiel brushes Dean’s hair in a gentle way. He stares the path his hand makes for a few seconds before his eyes go back to Dean’s and he stares at them with a sight filled with pure love. “Like I do to you.”

Dean steals him a kiss, this time a slow one. He looks at Cas as if he was falling in love with him again and Dean can’t help asking himself where Cas was all his life. All those years sleeping with strangers, having casual sex, looking for something that Dean wasn’t sure what it was, all those wasted moments and he finally found Cas. It took him a lot, but finally, he found that missing piece of himself, that person that keeps him from falling apart, that happiness Dean thought he didn’t deserve. And here he is, looking at Cas as if he was the whole universe.

“You know we have to get up, right?” Castiel says with an innocent voice.

“Yeah I do.” Dean says a bit disturbed. “But I don’t want to.”

Castiel rolls over so he is above Dean. “You never want to.” He smiles and he kisses Dean. It is a soft press of lips but it is really good. Both of them smile in the kiss and they giggle after it. Then Castiel gets up, although Dean grabs softly his arm, trying to hold him back, but his grip is weak so Castiel moves away easily, feeling Dean’s hand caressing his arm, from the elbow to his hand and Castiel smiles at him when their fingers touch.

Dean looks how Castiel moves towards the wardrobe and he sits on the bed, resting his back on the headboard. “You are fucking beautiful, y’know?”

Castiel blushes and he looks down. A pretty smile appears on his lips. He turns his sight, so he can look at Dean, whose eyes are showing how much he loves him. “You are the beautiful one.”

Dean bites his lower lip and he rolls his eyes, making Cas to smile. Then, Cas keeps looking for his clothes while Dean gets up and walks towards him. He presses his chest against Castiel’s back and he holds tightly Castiel’s waist. Dean starts to nuzzle and to press sweet little kisses along Castiel’s jaw. It has been more than a week since they got punished and they are already healed. There are a few scars, but nothing else. It was difficult to touch or to kiss each other, feeling pain with the softest touch, but now they can kiss and touch without feeling any pain at all, and it is great.

Castiel closes his eyes and he tilts his head to one side, leaving more room for Dean. He inhales sharply and he parts his lips. “Dean—” He moans. He drops down the clothes and he places one of his hands on Dean’s hair, running his fingers through it while the other hand rests on Dean’s tangled fingers.

“So fucking beautiful, Cas.” Dean murmurs against Castiel’s skin. Castiel feels a warm shiver running down his spine. “You are fucking gorgeous.” He keeps kissing the salty skin. Dean wishes he could make him hickeys, but if someone sees Cas has hickeys, they will suspect. “You are so fucking perfect.” Dean keeps saying in between kisses.

“Dean—” Castiel only says. He trembles a bit in Dean’s arms when Dean’s mouth touches the sensitive skin behind his ear. Castiel moans and he tightens his hands on Dean. Then, Dean stops and he rests his chin on Castiel’s shoulder. Cas breathes in an agitated way. It feels as if he hadn’t breathed for hours.

Dean smiles and he kisses his cheek. He pulls away after that. “Now you can take your shower.” He teases.

Castiel is flushed by the heat of Dean’s kisses. He glares at Dean a little. “You are an assbutt.” He jokes. He approaches Dean and he grabs his t-shirt, pulling Dean closer so he can give him a passionate kiss that leaves Dean breathless and looking at him in an impressed way. Castiel doesn’t say anything else; he just smirks, picks his clothes and he walks towards the bathroom.

Castiel takes his shower, then Dean takes his. After that, they go to the kitchen to have breakfast. When they finish it, they go to their respective workplaces. It is a normal day. Unfortunately, they didn’t have another chance when Crowley was out and they could run away; the only one chance they had was when they got really injured thanks to Jo and no one of them was in conditions to get away from the house. They will have to wait for the right time.

The morning goes like always and when it is going to be lunch time, Castiel goes to the garage to tell Dean about it. They go to the kitchen and they eat. After that, they go back to their workplaces. The same old thing.

Today it is a sunny day, but it is cold. Castiel is wearing three layers of clothes and one of them belongs to Dean. He likes wearing Dean’s clothes. He would wear more, but somebody may notice it and find it odd. But whenever he can, Castiel likes to wear a t-shirt that belongs to Dean, especially when he has to wear another layer above it. He loves the smell of Dean. The clothes can be washed and get the smell of the detergent on them, but it always remains a little of the scent of Dean.

Castiel smiles. He needs to prune the willow and he is going to need help. The willow is really old and its branches are quite heavy. But for that, he needs to ask Jo for it; she is the one who has to assign him someone to help him.

He walks towards the house and he finds Jo on the living room, reading a gossip magazine. She is too focused on it that she doesn’t realize Castiel has arrived, so he speaks. “Miss Harvelle.”

Jo moves her sight away from the shiny pages and he looks at Castiel with her challenging eyes. “What is it Castiel?” She sounds irritated. She always sounds like that.

“I need help to prune the willow.” Castiel simply says.

Jo rolls her eyes and she leaves the magazine on the couch. “Fine.” She says dryly. She gets up and she passes her hands down her pants, trying to remove any wrinkle from them. “How about Dean?”

Castiel is surprised by that. He was expecting her to choose anyone else. She knows that Dean and he are good friends and she knows that they are up to something. Since they were punished, Jo has tried to keep them separated when it was raining and Castiel couldn’t work on the garden. But maybe she has gotten tired of trying to see if they are up to something and not seeing anything.

“That would be perfect.” Castiel says; trying to sound as casual as possible.

Jo walks in her usual proud way and Castiel follows her. She opens the door that leads to the garage and Dean turns his face to see her. He makes a confused frown when he sees that Cas is with her. “Castiel needs help with a willow.” Jo starts to say in an irritating and tiring way. “You are going to help him. When you are done, keep working here. Understood?”

“Understood.” Dean says dryly. Jo turns around and she walks out of the garage, slamming the door. Dean makes a grimace and then he looks at Cas. “What was this all about?”

“If you need help with something, you must ask her to provide you someone.” Castiel explains.

“And she has chosen me? Really?” Like Castiel, he is surprised by it.

Castiel shrugs. “I was surprised too.” They start to walk out of the garage, through the big main door.

“Whatever.” Dean says careless. “What do you need me for?” He asks sweetly.

“I have to use the chainsaw to prune some branches of the willow and I need you to grab them while I prune them, because if they fall down heavily, they will destroy some parts of the garden.”

“Okay.” He pouts. “I hope you are good with a chainsaw.”

Castiel glares him and he arches one eyebrow. “What are you suggesting, Dean?” The sassiness in his voice is really high.

“You know what I am suggesting.” He says laughing. “I want to be in one piece when we are done.”

“We will see.” He sasses.

Dean’s laugh gets louder and Castiel giggles. Then, Dean looks at him in a bright way. “I love you so fucking much.”

Castiel blushes. “I know. I love you too.” He says. He loves when Dean tells him how much he loves him. It took Dean his time to finally say those three words, and when Cas heard them for the first time, it felt awesome. He thought that after hearing them after a lot of times it wouldn’t feel as awesome as that first time; but he was wrong; it feels even greater to hear those three words coming out of Dean’s mouth.

They arrive to the willow and Castiel grabs the chainsaw and he goes the ladder up while Dean stays on the ground. Castiel starts to cut down the branch. When it starts to bend, Dean grabs the falling extreme and he holds it, so then, Castiel can finally prune the whole branch. Dean holds it tightly and he leaves it carefully on the floor. It goes like that with a couple more branches.

“Thanks you so much for your help.” Castiel says as he goes down the ladder.

“You are welcome.” Dean says. “What are you gonna do with all those branches?”

“Zachariah will cut them up to use them in the chimney.” He answers. “But I have to carry them and place them behind the shed.” He adds as he starts to pick one of the branches.

“Let me help you.”

Dean and Castiel carry the cut branches to the space behind the shed. It takes them a couple of walks, but they finish quick. They get back to the willow and they move the fallen small branches and leaves from the pavement stone to the ground, because it will be a great fertilizer.

“Do you need something else?” Dean asks as he stretches a bit. It wasn’t a hard word, but it was a bit tiring. He looks at Cas who is biting his lower lip and smiling shyly. Dean looks beautiful right now. There are some tucks of hair stuck on his forehead because of the sweat, there’s some dirt on his cheeks, the sunlight that leaks through the clouds make his eyes shine in a perfect way. “What is it, Cas?” He inquires approaching him.

Castiel looks around and then he approaches Dean more. He places his hands on Dean’s chest, feeling his pectorals under all the layers of clothes. Castiel licks his lips before he speaks. “I want to kiss you.” He whispers in his usual timid way.

Dean bites his lower lip and he places his hands on the small of Castiel’s back, drawing him closer. “Then, kiss me.”

Castiel chuckles and he kisses Dean. They shouldn’t be doing this, but the willow is quite far from the house and nobody can see them from the house. He kisses Dean passionately, feeling those too wonderful lips on his, getting both of them warmer and wetter. He can taste in Dean’s mouth the blend of the garage with the garden and it tastes wonderful.

They pull away and both of them have swollen lips. Dean caresses with his lips Castiel’s, looking at him with narrowed eyes but with dilated pupils. He leans forward and he kisses Castiel again, making Cas to moan sweetly and to place his hands on Dean’s nape. How can Dean be so addicting and perfect and so spirited?

Dean is the one who pulls away and Castiel takes a needy breath. “I should get back.” Dean says.

“Yes, I know.” Castiel agrees. He presses a brief kiss on Dean’s lips, trying to make the taste of Dean’s lips remain on his a little bit longer. “I’ll see you later.”

“Okay.” He kisses Castiel’s temple and he leaves.

Castiel watches how Dean walks away from there and he makes a tiny smile and he blushes a little. It always feels extraordinary to kiss Dean. It is a shame that they can’t do it anytime they want it, only when no one else is looking. If everything goes well, soon, they will be far away from this house, from this country and they will be able to kiss whenever they want.

The afternoon passes quicker than expected for Castiel, it must be because a big part of the afternoon was consumed with Dean. Castiel picks all the gardening tools and the ladder and he leaves them in the shed before he goes to the garage. When he is there, Dean closes the big main door and he approaches Castiel, who looks at him oddly.

“Crowley has just left.” Dean whispers.

Castiel blinks shocked. This is their chance to scape. “Has he?”

“Yeah. About ten minutes ago.”

“We should get the pills.” Castiel says nervous.

“No.” Dean says. Castiel is confused, he is about to say something but Dean interrupts him. “You know right now it is the time when the bedroom’s door locks. If you get in the bedroom, unless I open it from the outside, it won’t open.” Dean reminds him as he raises his eyebrows. Castiel nods. He has explained that to Dean a long time ago. Dean licks his lips before he keeps talking. “Also, it is supper time already. If we are late, they will suspect, and we don’t have time to put the pill in Jo’s drink. We can’t appear in the dining room.”

“Yes, you are right.” He bites his lower lip in a nervous way. “So we will have to do it tomorrow night.”

“Yeah.”

“Okay.” Castiel takes a deep breath and he makes a thoughtful face. “We will have to pick the pill on the morning and carry it until we drop it, but how are we going to drop it on her drink?”

Dean makes a rogue smile. “Leave that to me.” He simply says. “C’mon, it is suppertime!”

They go to the kitchen; tonight there are steaks with French fries and Dean is glad with that food. Castiel arches one of his brows when he sees Dean is serving himself a lot. Dean doesn’t say anything; he just smiles at Castiel and he winks an eye. Castiel lets out a soft smile. Dean is one of a kind.

After eating, they go towards their bedroom and when they close the door and they lock it, they kiss passionately. Castiel smashes Dean against the door, making Dean to smirk and to fist Castiel’s jacket. “Sorry, I couldn’t wait anymore.” Castiel explains in a needy way. Then, he places his mouth on Dean’s again.

“Don’t blame you.” Dean says in between a kiss. “I couldn’t either.” He smirks.

Castiel smiles and he and Dean are about to get into the bathroom to wash their teeth when they hear someone trying to open the door. They turn their faces to look at the door before their interchange a look, half confused and half shocked.

“Open the door!” Jo yells angrily.

Dean looks at Castiel. “Fuck.” Dean whispers. If Jo is here, that means she wants to punish them or something. He stares at Castiel, who nods and Dean goes towards the door. He unlocks it and then, Jo and Alastair get in the bedroom. Dean walks towards Castiel, until he is next to him. It is a protective move, just in case any of them do something.

Alastair closes the door and Jo approaches them. She looks angrier than ever. That isn’t good. “I knew there was something really wrong with you two.” Jo starts to say. Neither Dean nor Castiel has ever heard and seen Jo this furious ever. The sick look she is giving to them could almost burn them. “I knew you two were rotten.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Dean says confused. He doesn’t understand what Jo means and neither Cas does.  
Jo makes a grunt, showing her teeth. “You know what I’m talking about!” She yells. Castiel and Dean narrow their eyes in confusion. “A lot of things make sense now.”

“What do you mean?” Castiel asks puzzled.

Jo glares her. “I told Alastair to spy you and he saw you two kissing under the willow. And not only once. You did it several times.” She spits out all those words with all the sickness in her veins. Dean and Castiel look at each other and they feel a shiver running down their bodies. That’s why she let them work together, so Alastair could spy them. “You two are gross. You are sick.” She groans. Dean glares her and he feels the fury burning inside him. “I’m going to make you regret what you two perverts have done. And you are going to be tortured for that to begin with.” She says. She is about to pick something from her pocket but Dean moves towards her fast and he smashes Jo’s head against the wall, leaving her unconscious.

Alastair is pale and he looks terrified at Dean, who is pulling away from Jo’s reach the dagger. Alastair turns over and he runs towards the door, but Castiel is faster and he avoids him from getting out. He closes the door with one hand, almost smashing it, and with the other he grabs painfully Alastair’s hair and he smashes his head against the door as hard as he can, leaving him unconsciously as well.

“Holy shit.” Dean says impressed. If the situation wasn’t like this, he knows he would have had a boner. Cas being a badass turns Dean on a lot.

Castiel is breathing heavily. “Yes. Holy shit.” He is shocked by how quick everything has happened. He looks at everywhere, trying to process the events and calculating everything. Everything happened so fast and there was fear, rage and adrenaline.

“We need to get out of here.” Dean says walking towards Castiel. “Now. We can’t wait anymore.” He says rushed.

“I know.” Castiel says nodding. He swallows with determination and he looks at Dean with all his trust. They need to hurry. “Help me to move the wardrobe. We have to drug them. They might be unconscious, but sooner or later they will wake up.”

“C’mon.” Dean says.

They walk towards the wardrobe and they move it. They kneel once they can see the secret stash. Dean removes the square and Castiel picks the bottle of pills. “I’ll drug them and meanwhile, you start packing all the things.” Castiel says.

Dean nods. He grabs his bag and he starts to put the money in. “How many pills are you going to give them?” He asks without taking his sight away from the bag.

“Five.”

“Five?” He turns his head around to see Castiel kneeling and giving Jo five pills.

“It will be enough to let them sleep almost midday. It isn’t dangerous for them.” He explains. He makes Jo swallow it without difficulties. “We need as much time as we can get. So it is going to be five. No more, no less.”

Dean nods. “You’re right.”

Castiel makes Alastair to swallow five pills and then, he goes towards the wardrobe to pick all the clothes and start packing them into Dean’s bag. “Do you think everything is going to fit?”

Dean makes a doubt face. “I hope so.” All the hours he spend playing Tetris must help him right now. “Give me all the medical things.”

Castiel picks all the things they bought and the sewing case Dean stole from the attic. He just hopes they won’t need any of that. When everything is packet, Castiel asks. “Are we missing something?”

“We’ve got the clothes, the money and all the medical stuff.”

“We have to change our collars.” Castiel says. He grabs Dean’s hand and they walk fast towards Jo. They kneel and Castiel grabs Jo’s hand and he puts her thumb on the electronic fingertip reader on Dean’s collar. There’s a beep and the collar opens. Dean removes it and he touches the skin that the collar hid. It feels weird to touch that part and feel skin instead of leather.

Dean now grabs Jo’s hand and he puts the thumb on Castiel’s collar, where the electronic fingertip reader is. There’s another beep and Castiel takes his collar off. He touches his skin. He has been all his life wearing a collar, first it was white but when he turned sixteen, he wore a black one. After so many years, feeling the bare skin, without a collar tightened around his neck feels odd but wonderful.

“It feels weird, huh?” Dean says with a sweet smile.

“Yes.” Castiel says without stopping touching his skin. It still feels too odd.

“We need to put on the white ones.”

Castiel nods and he and Dean stand up and walk towards the bed. Castiel picks one collar and he touches a few bottoms. “Okay, it is reset.” He says seriously. “Put your thumb.” He adds. Dean puts it and the collar opens. “Now put it on. You will be able to take it off , but you better don’t take it off, because—”

“Babe, I already know what happens when you don’t wear a fucking collar.” Dean says with an obvious look as he put on the collar.

Castiel chuckles and then, he resets the other collar. After that, he puts his fingertip and when the collar is opened, he puts it on. “Okay. We are ready.”

“We need to find the key.” Dean reminds him. “All the doors are locked and we need to open the garage and the fence.”

“She always carries with herself the fence key.” Castiel says. He walks towards her and he kneels. He starts to search in her pockets and he finds it. “Here it is.”

“Awesome. But we need the garage key.” Dean says.

“I don’t know where that one is.” He says biting his lip. He tries to remember any memory he can have from that key, but nothing comes to his mind.

“Wait.” Dean says looking in his bag for his wallet. Castiel looks at him intrigued. “I can open it with this.” He says showing a hairpin and smirking.

“Why do you have a hairpin?”

“You never know when you can need it.” He says with a sassy smile. Castiel rolls his eyes. “Let’s put the wardrobe in its place and leave.”

Castiel nods. They hide the secret stash after leaving the remaining collar in it. They move the wardrobe and Castiel grabs the heavy bag. Before they are about to leave the bedroom, Castiel stops Dean. “Wait.”

“What is it Cas?” He asks frowning.

Castiel cups Dean’s face and he kisses him. It is a hopeful kiss and passionate. It is also nervous, but not too much. “I love you.”

“I love you too Cas.” Dean says looking at those hopeful but a bit scared eyes. “We gotta go.” He says grabbing Castiel’s hand.  
They get out of their bedroom and they close the door. If Jo and Alastair wake up, they won’t be able to get out of the room until breakfast. The electronic system knows there are two people in the room, so it can only be opened from the hall, not from the bedroom.

The house is quiet, everyone must be in their bedrooms, but most of the lights from the halls are still on, because Jo hasn’t switched them off. Dean and Castiel walk carefully; they know all the slaves are in their bedrooms and Jo is locked in Dean and Castiel’s bedroom, but they must be cautious.

Their hearts are beating fast. They can feel their blood running faster than ever through their veins. It is a strange feeling; they are calm but nervous at the same time. Freedom is so close that they can almost taste it. They don’t pull away their hands, they are holding them tightly, as if they were afraid of losing each other. If one falls, the other does it too.

They arrive to the garage door and Dean gets the hairpin in the lock. It takes him a bit to open it, but he finally does it. Dean smiles at Cas when he opens it and they get inside the garage after that. They close the door and Dean switches on the lights.

“Alright.” Dean says walking towards the motorbikes. He walks towards a black 1973 Harley Davidson sportster. “This one is big enough for the two of us and it doesn’t have any beeper.” He explains with a smile. “Open the main door” He says as he starts to move the motorbike slowly.

Castiel walks towards the big main door and he opens it. Then, he switches off the lights and he helps Dean to get the motorbike out. When they are outside the garage, Castiel closes the big door and he keeps moving the motorbike with Dean until they arrive to the fence. Castiel opens it and he and Dean get out with the motorbike. Castiel closes the fence and he throws the key out to the woods. Dean rides the motorbike and Castiel does it too, being behind Dean. Castiel moves the bag so it is on his back and he embraces Dean’s waist.

Both of them look at the quiet house, as if they couldn’t believe that they were out of it. They have waited for this moment to come that it seems almost impossible that it is happening, but here they are, outside the house, in the quiet darkness of the night, with white collars on their necks. Everything is quiet except for the fireflies cricking. The only light comes from the moon and everything seems in peace and Dean and Castiel feel as if they weren’t imprisoned anymore.

“Okay Cas, you tell me which path we take.” Dean says.

“Left.” Castiel says. “The long but safe path. We will cross through a lot of small towns, but it is better than taking the main road. You have to drive towards Pirwol.” He explains. “You will see signs telling you the way to it.”

“Okay. We’ll drive all night long.” Dean says. “You can sleep meanwhile.” Dean suggests as he starts the motorbike and they start rolling. The night air is cold and it hits against Dean’s chest, but it feels to fucking good, it feels like freedom and it is fucking awesome.

“I’m not sleeping.” He says serious. He presses a sweet kiss on Dean’s neck and he tightens his grip on Dean’s waist. “I want to enjoy being outside in the night, being free with my boyfriend riding a motorbike.” He says with a voice filled with happiness. “There’s no way I’m missing this.”

Dean can’t help smiling. Cas is right.


	44. Long Journey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so grateful for everyone who reads, who leaves kudos, a comment, makes a bookmark or subscribes. Thanks a lot, really.

The sun is rising up. The stars have faded away in the sky, but they are still there, although they won’t be seen until the sky is dark again. There’s red, yellow, orange, a really light blue and even some shades of purple on the clouded sky. The dawning chill is really noticeable and Dean thanks that he is wearing a lot of layers and that Cas is warming him up a little. They aren’t going too fast, but motorbikes are cold and the wind hits you directly. It is a price to pay for feeling that freedom that Harley Davidson gives you as the engine rumbles and the air caresses in a hard but gentle way their skin, combing their hairs.

Castiel inhales softly and he tightens his grip on Dean, who can’t help a soft smile. Dean is really tired, he has spent the whole night driving. He is used to drive long distances on his Impala, but he had always had some good sleep before taking down the road. But they didn’t have time for that. They needed to run away and go as far as they could. Time was a luxury they couldn’t afford.

But Dean’s eyelids feel heavy. They should have bought one of those pills that keeps you awake. Everything happened really fast and they had to make it up as they went. They weren’t supposed to be discovered and let alone to hit Jo and Alastair in the bedroom and leave them there. But things never go as planned. Luckily they could get out.

They took the long path, because Castiel said that if they took the main road, which is shorter and takes them directly to High Port, it will be more dangerous. The main road is quite controlled by police and they are sure that once Jo wakes up, she will make people look for them. The long path is safer. But the problem is that the long path, which name is Rural Way, it circles a lot, instead of being a straight road with a couple of curves, it only has curves and curves. So they waste a lot of time. But Cas said it is safer and that’s the important thing.

“How are you?” Castiel says with a sleeping voice. He hasn’t slept the whole ride either. He has closed his eyes for some minutes once in a while, when his eyelids felt too heavy and his eyes needed a rest. But Dean hasn’t been able to do that.

“Tired.” Dean simply answers. His eyes are only focused on the road. He is ignoring the landscape. He only looks at the road and at the signs that tell him where to go to Pirwol. “We are getting close to Pirwol.” Dean says sounding more exhausted than before. He knows that he is riding slower than when he wasn’t feeling sleepy, but he is still driving quite fast.

“We should sleep Dean. Especially you.” He recommends with a sweet voice. “And eat.”

“We need to get to Pirwol. In less than an hour or so we will be there.”

Castiel sighs. He is exhausted and he hasn’t drove for all those hours like Dean, so his boyfriend must be extremely exhausted. They haven’t moved from the motorbike for a single moment so their legs and butts hurt. They need to rest and eat. “Dean, please, listen to me.” He says with a concerned voice.

“What is it love?” Dean asks.

“Let’s stop in Armstred. We can eat something and then, we can take a nap in the woods.”

“Cas—”

“Dean.” He interrupts with a fiercely voice. “You’ve been driving the whole night. I’m not letting you drive more until you have slept.” He says firmly. Dean inhales sharply. “Please, love.”

Dean sighs frustrated. “Okay.” He says not too convinced. He knows that Cas is right, but Dean is dying to get out from this country as fast as he can. But he knows the journey has only started. “We will stop in Armstred, we’ll eat and then we’ll take a nap.”

“Good.” He kisses Dean’s neck.

“Why have you said to take a nap in the woods? Haven’t they got motels or something?”

“Armstred is a really small town. I don’t know if they have one now. If they don’t, we will take a nap in the woods. Both of us need to sleep, but you need it more.”

Dean doesn’t say anything else and he keeps driving. As they keep going down the road, they see that people are starting to wake up. Castiel can see some slaves working on the grain fields. Just in case, Castiel holds Dean’s waist in a friendly way, not as tightly as before and he moves his chin away from Dean’s shoulder. They are going pretty fast, but they have to pretend that they aren’t a couple. During night that wasn’t a problem because the road was empty and no one could see them, but now, people might see them.

“Dean.” Castiel says.

“Yeah?”

“You know we have to pretend that we aren’t together, right?” He says with a cautious voice.

“I know it, Cas.” Dean says. They have left behind the Harvelle’s house, but they still have to hide their relationship. They have to hold on for more. But soon they won’t. “Nothing about touching, kissing or even mentioning it.”

“That’s right.” He takes a deep breath. “Also, we will have to pretend that we like slavery. Don’t make a single comment about how wrong slavery is. You know how bad that can end.”

“I know.” Dean says sadly.

After some minutes of driving, they arrive to Armstred. It is a small town and like Castiel said, there isn’t a motel. But there’s a dinner, so Dean and Castiel go there and they have breakfast. Dean orders some eggs with bacon, pancakes and some milk; he wants coffee but if they are going to take a nap after breakfast, he should better not take it. Castiel orders sausages with scrambled eggs and some peach juice, also he steals Dean one pancake. The last time they ate a breakfast like this was when they went to Hayes and they were in that hotel.

Dean is surprised by how everyone threats them so fucking well just because they are wearing white collars. People don’t give them sick looks of tell them that they are crap. Everything changes depending on the color of your collar. Even people from the Brown Lands seem nice. Maybe they smile and are nice with people with white collars, but deep down, they are rotten son of bitches. Dean knows it.

Once they pay, Dean and Castiel leave the dinner and Castiel tells Dean where to go. They leave behind the small town and when they are sure there are quite far, Castiel tells Dean to get the motorbike through the woods. Dean does it. He gets quite deep so no one can find them.

“Are you sure no one will find us here?” Dean asks as he stretches. He loves driving but his body aches when he drives for too many hours.

Castiel nods and he looks around. There are a lot of trees and they can’t see the road. They are safe there. “People in the Brown Lands don’t care too much about the woods. They only get in here during hunting season, and that’s in spring.” He explains as he places himself under the tree, and then he kneels on the grass.

“There aren’t wild animals around here, right?” Dean kneels and he picks one of his sweaters to use it as a pillow. Then, he gives Castiel another sweater so he can do the same.

“No, don’t worry.” He says chuckling. He lies down and he closes his eyes. So simple, but it feels wonderful.

“Too bad we don’t have an alarm clock.” Dean mutters as he closes his eyes. He is lying next to Cas.

Castiel chuckles again. “All this time complaining about the alarm clock and now you need one?” He sasses.

“Screw you.” Dean kicks Castiel’s leg. “I don’t want to sleep more than we should.” He says grumpily.

“Just sleep as much as you need.” He mumbles in a yawn. “If I wake up first, I’ll wake you up.”

“Thanks.”

They fall asleep easier than ever. They haven’t slept for more than 24 hours, so it isn’t difficult at all, even if the temperature is quite cold and the ground isn’t the most comfortable mattress, but damn it, they are so tired and so needy for a nap that they don’t care. All they need right now is to close their eyes and sleep.

Dean is the first one to wake up. His back hurts, but what did he expect? He was sleeping on the ground. He has to pull away an ant from his hand and then, he looks at the rest of his body, searching for another insect, but it seems that the ant was the only bug. He sits and he looks at Cas, who is still sleeping. Dean doesn’t know for how long they have been sleeping, but he guesses that for a couple of hours. He looks at the sun in the sky; it is high, so it must be almost midday. They have been there for four hours or so.

“Cas.” Dean shakes Castiel’s body in order to wake him up. He knows Cas deserves a proper sleeping, but they need to move. “Cas.” Dean repeats shaking Cas’ body a bit harder.

Castiel mumbles a sound and he opens his eyes slowly. “Are you already awake?” Cas says sleepy and rubbing his eyes.

“Yeah. Sorry Cas, but we need to go.” Dean says. Castiel nods and he stands up. Dean does the same. They put the sweaters back inside Dean’s back and they go back to the motorbike. “We are running out of gas.” Dean murmurs.

“We should get rid of the motorbike.” Castiel says. Dean gives him a confused look. “If Crowley gets back to the house he will see that this motorbike is missing and he will try to find it. It isn’t a common model, so it is easy to identify.” He explains.

“And what’s your plan? We can’t go to High Port on foot.”

“But we can go to Wentale on foot. It is a big town, almost as big as Pirwol, and it is closer. But we will have to take a detour. It will take us the whole day, but once we are there, we will rent a room in a motel and we can buy a car there.”

Dean chews his lower lip as he thinks. It will be fucking exhausting, but they can’t take more risks. Both of them knew that this was going to be hard, but it is the price they have to pay to get back to USA. Dean takes a deep breath before he speaks. “Alright. How do we get rid of the Harley Davidson?”

“There’s a river not so far from here. It is the Ghotaly. It is big and really deep, so we can sink the motorbike there.”

“Fine.” Dean starts the engine and Castiel holds himself on Dean’s waist. “You tell me where to go.”

They get back in the road. In less than fifteen minutes, they can see the river. Just like Castiel said, it is big, really big. There aren’t houses or people around this place, only trees and trees. They approach the river. They get off the motorbike and Dean drops the motorbike just before he pushes it. Both of them see how the water makes it sink slowly, until it disappears.

“Should we take the road or another path?” Dean asks without taking his eyes away from the river.

“The road.” Castiel answers. “Come on. We have a long path to walk.”

The not too cold weather makes the walking easier. If they were walking under a hot sun, it would be so fucking awful. Still, it is really tiring. They only slept for less than four hours, it has helped them to feel with more energy, but it isn’t enough; they need a whole night of sleep. Also, they aren’t carrying any food, but at least Dean was thoughtful and he bought a bottle of water in one of the vending machines outside the dinner. They should have bought something to eat too.

Everything it quiet. The Rural Way is empty. They haven’t seen a car pass. It seems that everyone uses the main road, because it is faster. When Crowley took them to Hayes, Dean could see that in the main road, there were a lot of cars, but in every other road which wasn’t that, it was empty. Maybe a car passed, but it was unusual.

Castiel’s stomach makes a hungry noise and Dean looks at his boyfriend. “We should have bought food.” Dean says with a regret face.

“Yes. We didn’t think about it.” Castiel says.

“Isn’t any small town before Wentale where we can buy something?” He doesn’t care if it is a dinner, an expensive restaurant or a supermarket. He just wants something to eat. They have a lot of money, so they can buy whatever they want.

“I’m not sure.” He sighs. He knows all the geography from the Brown Lands, but the last time he studied it, he was sixteen. Many things have changed, so maybe there can be a town or not. Castiel takes a deep breath and he looks down in an ashamed way. “I’m sorry for screwing it up. We could have used the motorbike to go back to Armstred and buy food I—”

“Cas, don’t blame yourself.” Dean says with a sweet voice. “We were fucking tired, we haven’t slept properly, it is normal to forget things. I forgot things too. Babe, it is a normal thing.”

Castiel looks at him, still with his ashamed and apologetic look. “You are too good for me.”

“Don’t start with that bullshit again.” He says with a warning but teasing voice. Castiel laughs in a soft and warm way.

They keep walking. They take a rest after walking for two hours. They are hungry, but at least they have water. After resting for thirteen minutes or so, they keep walking again. They are close to Wentale, but that means another two hours of walking, and the hunger will only delay them.

When almost an hour has passed, they see a small town in the horizon and Castiel and Dean look at each other. Dean speaks first. “I expected it to be bigger.”

“That’s not Wentale.” Castiel says.

“What? The sign said that Wentale is in this direction!” Dean sounds exhausted and irritated.

“And it is in this direction.” Castiel says with a smile. Dean frowns in confusion. “That is another town, a small one, it must be new.”

“That means we can eat, right?” Now he sounds extremely enthusiastic.

“That’s right.” He smiles widely.

It takes them a couple of minutes to get into that small town, which name is Volap. Once they are there, they search for a place to eat, but there isn’t, so they go to the supermarket. The town isn’t too big and it doesn’t seem to be too old, it must be one of those small towns that live from the river fishing, which became popular ten years ago. That’s why Castiel didn’t know about its existence.

They buy on the supermarket some snacks, more water, sandwiches and cookies. When they paid, they walk out of the town and when they know it is quite far, they get into the woods and they sit there and they start to eat. They were so hungry that they barely speak while they eat. They smile at each other because they look really odd, but they haven’t eaten since breakfast, and it is almost suppertime.

When they are full, they put inside the bag a few snacks they haven’t eaten and they go back to the road, because they still have another hour or so to walk to get to Wentale. They are really tired, but now that their stomachs are filled with food, walking doesn’t feel as exhausting as before.

Unfortunately, when they can see Wentale in the horizon, which is much bigger than Volap, so much fucking bigger, it starts to rain heavily. It is a cold rain and they don’t have any umbrella.

“Fuck.” Dean says looking at the sky, which is dark, not only because of the clouds, because the sun is about to hide. “More than thirty years living in this country and you forgot to buy an umbrella.” Dean teases.

Castiel glares him. “Shut up assbutt.” Castiel says annoyed, although he is smiling. “We should run to the town. This rain is extremely cold and we can’t get sick.”

Dean nods and both of them start to run. They try to be very careful because they don’t want to slip and break something. They are really soaked, their clothes are heavier with all the water on them, but they keep running as the rain keeps falling down. It is a cold and heavy rain, but it feels awesome. Castiel and Dean look at each other and they smile. If they had more time, they would be enjoying being under the rain, they would start dancing under it and laughing as loud as they could.

They arrive to the town soon and they stop running. The rain seems to be heavier now. Castiel looks around and he sees a glowing sign of a motel and he points it out at Dean, so both of them start to run again, but not as fast as before.

“Okay.” Dean starts to say when they are about to get into the motel. He is panting a little because of the run, but not too much. “We don’t need any document to book a room, right?”

“No.” Castiel answers.

“Awesome. We will use false names. Just in case. I’ll be Clint and you’ll be Emmanuel, got it?” He whispers.

Castiel nods. “Got it.”

They get inside the motel. It is warm and quite lovely. Dean has been in several motels in the USA and none of them was this nice, all of them look dirty, some more than others, but this motel looks perfect, clean and it doesn’t have that weird motel smell on it. More than a motel, it looks like a small hotel.

An old man with a white collar, shorter than Dean and Castiel, bald, quite fat, with hazel eyes and red cheeks, turns around when he hears the door being closed and his face shocks when he sees them. “My God! What were you doing under this rain?!” He asks concerned.

Dean chuckles. He has to pretend to be someone from this country and he has to be as kind as possible. “We forgot our umbrellas.” Dean says rolling his eyes and smiling. “Rain in the Brown Lands is such a rare thing.” He says sarcastically.

The fat man chuckles. “Yeah. So rare.” He laughs in a hilarious way.

“Anyway, we are so sorry for soaking your hall.” Dean apologizes trying to sound really ashamed.

“You two aren’t the first ones.” He says with a kind smile. “Do you want a room?”

“Yes please.” Castiel says. “With two queens.”

“Alright.” The fat man puts on his glasses and he opens his booking notebook. “For how many nights?”

“One.” Dean says. “Just enough to sleep and get back to the road. We still have a lot of to visit.”

“Where are you from?”

“Rinpar.” Castiel answers. He is also pretending to be as nice and kind as Dean. He is following his lead. “We wanted to visit the River Way.”

“Yeah, my cousin hasn’t shut up about visiting this.” Dean says with a grin and shaking his head to point Cas. Then, Dean picks a pen and he signs on the notebook with the name Clint Plant. “I’m loving this, but next time, I’ll make sure we’ll bring umbrellas.”

The fat man chuckles. “You better.” He says. “Okay, one night, it is 20 BW Dollars.” He says. Dean looks into the back for his wallet and he pays the exact quantity. “Okay, here’s the key.” He gives Castiel the key. “Have a nice night boys.”

“Thank you.” Dean and Castiel say at the same time.

Both of them go upstairs, looking for the bedroom which is in the second floor. Castiel opens the door and both of them get in the room, which is quite big, clean and Dean can’t believe this isn’t a hotel, because in the USA there is no motel like this one. The walls are clean, the lights are bright, it smells good, the sheets aren’t stained or burnt… It looks like everything is new.

Castiel locks the door and Dean drops the bag to the floor. Dean turns around and Castiel starts to walk towards him, until he is close enough to cup his face and kiss him. They haven’t kissed for the whole day and both of them were craving for it. Despite of being wet and starting to be cold, the kiss is all hot.

“We should take a shower.” Dean murmurs once they pull away.

“Or we could take a bath together.” Castiel suggests as he plays with a lock of wet hair stuck on Dean’s forehead.

Dean smirks. “That’s even better.” He steals a brief kiss from Cas and then, he grabs Castiel’s hands and they go to the bathroom.

Dean is impressed by how shiny the bathroom is. There’s a scent of wild cherry and it is overwhelming. It isn’t a big bathroom, but it is big enough for the two of them, and it is so freaking clean. Dean can’t stop being impressed by this.

“Are all the motels in the Brown Lands as clean as this?” Dean asks as he goes towards the bath and he opens the tap of hot water.

“They are.” Castiel says. He is starting to take off his boots, which are wet and the soles have some mud, but at least his socks are dry. “Aren’t the ones in the USA clean?”

“Not much.” Dean says with a disgusted face as he starts to take off his wet clothes. He looks around, wondering where he can leave them and Castiel approaches him and takes them.

“I’ll leave them on the bedroom’s radiator. They will dry faster.”

Dean nods and he quickly takes off his jeans and his underwear and Castiel looks at him with a smirk and wide eyes. Dean can’t help smirking too and he kisses Cas, who is still wearing his jeans and underwear. “You really love seeing me naked, don’t you?”

“As if you didn’t like seeing me naked.” He teases with a joyful voice.

Castiel goes to the bedroom and Dean closes the tap and he gets in the bath. It feels too fucking awesome. The hot water feels great in his wet and cold skin and it relaxes his tiring muscles. Dean lets out a soft moan and he closes his eyes, feeling how the water takes the cold and the exhaustion away easily and slowly. He opens his eyes when he hears Cas closing the bathroom door and he gives him a naughty look; he loves seeing Cas naked.

Castiel gets in the bath and he places himself above Dean, facing him. Castiel lets out a relief noise and he closes his eyes for a moment. “I needed this.” Castiel confesses. He opens his eyes and he starts to comb slowly Dean’s wet hair with one hand.

“Me too.” Dean says. He places his hand on the small of Cas’ back and he moves his thumb, stroking Cas’ skin. They look at each other’s eyes and Dean leans so he can kiss sweetly Castiel. “Love ya.” He mumbles against Cas’ lips.

“I love you too.” He says with a pretty smile.

Dean nuzzles his boyfriend’s nose and he starts to run slowly his fingers through Castiel’s hair, feeling the cold water of the rain. He decides to cup his hands in the water and then, he lets that water on his hands fall down Castiel’s head, warming him up. Castiel closes his eyes and he breathes in a relaxing way. Dean does the same again for a couple of times, until he is sure that Cas isn’t cold anymore. When he is done, he passes his thumbs along Cas’ eyelids, removing the remaining water. Castiel opens his eyes and smiles, making Dean to return that smile. Now, Castiel does the same to Dean. He cups his hands, as if it was a bucket and he lets the hot water drop on Dean’s head.

Dean brings Castiel closer when he is done and they kiss in a passionate way. Castiel moans in the kiss and he presses himself against Dean, who runs his fingers in a desperate way through Castiel’s hair. Then, his hands go down to Castiel’s neck and he feels the collar. Dean pulls away from the kiss and Castiel looks at him confused.

“What’s wrong?” Castiel asks puzzled.

Dean moves his hands away from Castiel’s neck and he places them on his own collar. Castiel looks at him with a frown and with narrowed eyes. Dean takes off his collar and he throws it away at the floor. “Take your collar off Cas.” Dean says with desire. “I want to kiss properly your neck for the first time.” He adds.

Castiel opens his eyes widely and he takes off his collar too, throwing it away at the floor. Dean starts to kiss that skin that was hidden and forbidden to him for the stupid collar. He starts to kiss and lick it, feeling the salty skin of Castiel, who tilts his head up, leaving more room for Dean.

“Dean—” Castiel moans as he digs his fingers in Dean’s scalp. Castiel has never been touched there. All his life there was a collar covering that part of his neck. And now, Dean is kissing, licking and even biting softly that part of his neck and it feels great. “Dean—” He moans again.

Dean has wanted to kiss Castiel’s neck properly for so long. That part is so soft and really sensitive and the sounds Cas is making are driving Dean crazy. His mouth keeps going down Castiel’s neck, kissing licking and dragging his teeth along it, feeling Castiel’s pulse and how the muscles move with every moan Cas makes. “I’m gonna make you a hickey Cas. Where no one else can see it.” Dean says into Castiel’s skin. “Do you want to have a mark made by me?” He asks with a sexy rough voice.

Castiel tightens his grip on Dean’s hair. “I want it.” He says breathless. He wants to have something that shows he is Dean’s, a print of Dean in his skin. He wants it so bad.

Dean smiles in a cocky way against Castiel’s skin and he moves his mouth towards the place where neck and shoulder meet and he starts to suck. Castiel moans louder and he tilts his head up even more. He also closes his eyes strongly and parts his lips. The pleasure is too good and breathtaking.

“Dean oh my—”

Dean pulls away, leaving a hickey that will be more noticeable in a few minutes. The skin is swollen and wet and Dean is proud of it. He looks at Castiel, who is trying to figure out how to breathe. Dean kisses his mouth and when they pull away, he speaks. “Did you like it?”

“Didn’t my moans show it?” He arches one eyebrow. Dean chuckles. “It was really good.” He looks at the hickey and he smiles. That shows he is Dean’s and no one else’s. He turns his sight back to Dean and he approaches his mouth to Dean’s, but he doesn’t kiss it. “I want to make you a hickey too. In the same spot you’ve just made it to me.” His voice is so fucking sexy.

Dean is turned on with that. Cas wants to leave a mark on his body too. Fuck it is fucking awesome. “Go ahead.” He says breathless and tilting his head up so Cas can have more room.

“But first I want to kiss your neck.” He whispers before placing his mouth on Dean’s neck and kissing it and licking it, feeling that wonderful skin he hasn’t kissed before.

“Fuck, Cas—” Dean moans as he closes his eyes.

Dean closes his eyes and parts his lips. With one of his hands, he pushes Castiel’s head closer. Castiel keeps kissing, licking and biting his neck in that delicious way, leaving Dean breathless. Dean loves how those lips touch his skin and how his teeth grasp it in a gentle way.

Castiel keeps tracing with his mouth and tongue Dean’s neck, tasting the salty skin until he arrives to the spot he wants to leave a hickey, in the same place Dean make one on him, where the shoulder and the neck meet. Castiel moves his eyes for a moment to look at Dean, who is biting his lower lip. Castiel moves to Dean’s mouth and he kisses him in a passionate way, until both of them are craving for air. Dean opens his eyes, which are so dark, there’s only a thin green circle around his pupils. Then, Castiel moves until his mouth is where it was before and he starts to suck.

“Cas—” Dean moans.

Castiel sucks the skin, he tightens his hand on Dean’s opposite shoulder as he keeps sucking, licking and even biting. He hears how Dean swears and how he keeps saying Cas’ name in moans. Dean starts to breathe in a shaky way and to run his fingers desperate through Castiel’s hair, trying to hold himself like that.

When Castiel thinks he is done, he pulls his mouth away and he grazes Dean’s mouth, and Dean meets Castiel’s mouth, he cups his face and approaches their faces, until their noses are squeezing. When they pull away, Dean looks at the hickey and smiles in a proud way, making Castiel to make a satisfactory smile. And Dean has to kiss that pretty smile.

The water is still really hot and it feels great. The steam is filling the room. Castiel and Dean keep kissing, without leaving any space in between their bodies. They kiss in a needy, desperate and arousing way, leaving their lips humid by their saliva and swollen. The heat in their bodies is getting hotter as time passes.

Dean decides to go back to Castiel’s neck, to kiss it and lick it and Castiel tilts his head up, and he starts to groan and moan. Dean has always been such an extraordinary kisser. Inadvertently, Castiel starts to rock sweetly his hips and Dean’s hands start to trace down his spine, until they arrive to his butt and he caresses it. Both of them are hard right now.

“Dean.” Castiel starts to say difficulty. It is always so difficult to speak when Dean is using his mouth and his hands on him. “Dean, I—” He tries in a desperate way, as if he wanted Dean to let out the words he can’t.

“Yeah?” Dean says in a soft and arousing voice. He places his mouth then on Castiel’s nipple and he starts to lick it.

Castiel moans and he digs his nails in Dean’s scalp. Definitely this isn’t helping him to speak, but he doesn’t complain. It feels too good. “Oh Dean—” He mumbles in a moan and he can feel that cocky and proud smirk of Dean. Castiel even smiles at that. He feels how Dean’s tongue circles his nipple and how Dean bites it in that delicate way of his. “Dean—” He moans again. “Open me up.” He finally manages to say. “Fuck me.” He adds sounding more needy and desperate. “I can ride you.”

Dean doesn’t answer, instead, he keeps working with his mouth and tongue on Castiel’s nipple as one of his hands moves downer and Castiel feels a finger getting inside of him and he moans in a relieved way. Dean moves his mouth away from Cas’ nipple and he just looks at how fucking gorgeous Castiel looks right now as he fingers him. Dean places his free hand in between Cas’ blades and he keeps looking at Cas, doing all those wonderful sounds. Dean gets another finger and Cas’ moans get louder. He fucks into Dean’s fingers and he places his hands on Dean’s shoulders. When he opens his eyes, he sees the way Dean is looking at him, with an almost inexistent smile drawn on his lips but Castiel can see it. He looks at those eyes, looking at Cas as if he was the image of beauty. And for Dean it is like that.

Dean keeps getting his fingers inside Castiel, until there are four. He touches Castiel’s prostate several times, making Castiel to moan even louder and to rock his whole body and dig his nails in Dean’s freckled shoulders. Dean keeps looking at him, with that lovely gaze and he kisses him in the middle of a moan, feeling the heat coming out of Castiel and his choky breathing.  
“You ready?” Dean asks as his fingers scissor inside Castiel.

“I am.” Castiel breathes out.

Dean gets his fingers out and Castiel grunts. Then, he moves until he gets Dean’s cock inside himself. Both of them moan and they rest their foreheads together until both of them feel complete. Their eyes meet, pupils blown with passion and desire. Dean places his hands on the small of Castiel’s back and then, Castiel starts to move, riding Dean.

They don’t take their eyes away, they want to look at each other the whole time, as much as they can, until the pleasure is too high that they have to close their eyes. They love how they look when they are making love.

Castiel keeps fucking into Dean’s cock. Both of them rock their hips in slow thrusts. They part their lips, as if with that they could breathe better, but they can’t; this is breathtaking and all they can do is to moan and feel their heavy and hot breathing against each other.

Dean’s cock touches Castiel’s prostrate and Castiel moans and closes his eyes. He moves his hands to Dean’s neck and he caresses it in a needy way. He opens his eyes a little, but he has to close them again when that spot is hit again and it sends his whole body to the cliff of madness. Dean moans as loud as Castiel too and he tightens his grip on his boyfriend. He wants to tell him a lot of things right now, like how much he loves him, for example, but he can’t speak right now, so he lets his body speak for him and he kisses Cas in a lovely way. Castiel kisses him then like that after the first kiss.

They keep fucking, building and building, feeling those indescribable sensations, being just one. Castiel presses his body closer to Dean, as if he was scared of losing him and he keeps riding Dean in a harder way, tightening around Dean’s cock, making Dean to swear harder than ever. Dean holds Cas’ hips and he helps him to ride him and Castiel tilts his head up and closes his eyes as Dean buries his face on Castiel’s neck. Castiel keeps riding him, feeling how Dean’s cock hits that sweet spot several times, until Castiel comes, saying Dean’s name in a moan and a groan.

Dean comes almost immediately and he makes a sound similar to Castiel’s, but with Cas’ name. They stay still, feeling the wonderful sensation of coming, feeling their trembling bodies and their agitated breathings. Dean holds Castiel tighter, as if he was afraid of Cas breaking in million pieces. Castiel, meanwhile, is combing Dean’s hair as he tries to catch his breathing.

“I love you.” Castiel inhales sharply.

“I know, Cas I know.” Dean says desperate. He kisses Castiel’s neck and he moves his face away so he can look at his boyfriend’s face. “I love you too.”

Castiel smiles and he kisses Dean in a sweet way. Then, he rests his forehead against Dean’s. He keeps running his fingers in a slow way through Dean’s hair. After a while, Dean gets out of Castiel who grunts when that happens. Dean makes an apologetic face and Castiel kisses him. “Don’t worry.” He whispers.

Dean caresses his cheek. “This is good, isn’t it? The two of us taking a bath, making love, without collars…” He says with a soft voice that Castiel finds too arousing. “It feels great.”

“Yes. It does.” Castiel agrees. He closes his eyes and he places his hands on Dean’s blades. He takes a deep breath. “I can’t believe we have come this far.”

“We still have a lot to walk.” He reminds him with a serious voice.

Castiel opens his eyes. “I’m aware of that. But I never thought I would go this far. I must admit that I never expected anything of what has happened. You just appeared in my life and changed everything.”

“Babe, don’t get sappy.” Dean says in a teasing voice.

“Assbutt.” He says laughing and kissing him. “You are my lovely assbutt.” He strokes Dean’s cheeks with his thumbs and he looks at him with all the love in his heart.

Dean smiles in a timid way. “Yeah, I am.” And he steals a kiss from Cas. “Love ya.” He mumbles as he plays with Castiel’s lower lip, something that tickles the blue eyed man.

“I love you.” His smile gets wider.

“How about we get out and we go to sleep?” Dean suggests. He loves being in the bathtub with Cas, but he needs sleep and a mattress urgently.

“That’s a great idea.” He says. He kisses Dean briefly and he gets out of the bathtub. Dean does the same after Castiel.

They dry as best as they can with the towels and then, they put on the collars and then, they put on underwear and Henley’s shirts, which are Dean’s, but Castiel loves them, not only because they are warm and comfortable, but also because they smell like Dean. When Dean sees him with his Henley shirt, he smiles and he kisses Castiel; Dean loves when Cas wears his clothes.  
They get in their beds. They aren’t big enough for the two of them so they have to sleep in different beds, something that they hate, because it feels so weird not to be sleeping together and it feels colder than usually. They try to sleep, but finally, Castiel gives up and gets into Dean’s bed. He has to sleep above Dean, because there isn’t any space left for him, but Dean doesn’t complain at all, in fact he loves it. Sleeping without Cas is fucking awful.

Castiel buries his face in Dean’s neck and Dean embraces him, hoping that Cas won’t roll during the whole night because he doesn’t want him to fall down on the floor and hurt himself.

But Cas doesn’t fall down. When they wake up, the sun is filling the room. Judging by the light, Castiel thinks it is about eight o’clock in the morning, the perfect time to wake up. It doesn’t cost Dean a lot of effort to wake up, something that surprises Castiel. They have a lot of to do. They have to take a quick shower, have breakfast and they have to go back to the road, and for this last thing, they have to buy a car.

The first thing is to pick all their things and go to the closest dinner, which is less than five minutes walking from the motel.

As they wait for their breakfast Dean speaks. “I needed a fucking bed.” He smiles. He is rested. He would have loved spending the whole morning in bed with Cas, but they can’t have that luxury yet. They still have a long path to drive, once they are in Sioux Falls, they will be able to sleep as late as they want. Anyway, Dean feels rested; after driving all night long without taking a rest, a bed felt glorious.

Castiel makes a happy smile. “We needed it.” He looks at the fork and he twirls it on the table.

“How much longer will it takes us to get to High Port?” Dean asks.

“I guess that less than two days. We should drive for today and only stop to eat and sleep.” He answers without taking his sight away from the fork. No longer after he speaks, the waitress arrives with their breakfast. When she goes away, Castiel keeps talking. “You could drive all night long and we would get there sooner, but there’s no way I’m letting you do that.”

“Aawww.” Dean says with a sweet and at the same time teasing voice. Castiel glares him although he is smiling. “Always worrying about me.” He looks at him with lovely eyes. Castiel rolls his eyes and he blushes, then he starts to eat his scrambled eggs. “We’ll do that. Sleep in another motel and then, we’ll get to High Port.”

Castiel nods. Both of them keep eating in silence. Dean almost breaks to say something when one man with a white collar hits a woman with a black one. Castiel kicks his leg and he gives him a glare that means “don’t say anything.” Dean grunts silently and he keeps eating. Both of them would love to do something, but they know that if they dare to say anything against slavery, the consequences will be terrible, so they have to deal with it, even if it hurts a lot.

Once they finish breakfast, they go to a concessionaire. The cars aren’t from the expensive marks, but neither Dean nor Castiel care; they just want a car. They buy a Peugeot 308 and Dean is really surprised about the low price, it is 4.000 BL dollars. It is so fucking cheap and the car is new. Holy shit.

Dean doesn’t mention anything about it in front of the seller, he just gives him the money and Dean and Castiel get into the car. Dean is also surprised about the lack of paperwork, you only need to pay in cash and the car is yours. There’s no need to do anything else. It is insane.

Once Dean gets in the passenger seat, he feels freedom taking over his body. This car isn’t his babe, but damn it, he is going to imagine as if it was it. It is a blasphemy to his wonderful baby, Dean knows it, but he has missed driving a car for too long.

“You ready?” Dean asks to Cas, who is fastening the seatbelt.

“I am.” Castiel says with a smile.

“Let’s go.” And Dean starts the car.


	45. Without Rest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you, thank you so much for reading, for the kudos, the comments, the bookmarks and the subscriptions. I'm so glad that you are all enjoying this story. Thank you.

“I can’t believe you aren’t going to do anything about it!” Jo yells angrily.

Crowley glares her, with that sight made of fire that anyone would fear. Jo is scared about it; Crowley might be his father, but that doesn’t mean he will show mercy to her. “This is your fault.” Crowley snaps. His voice is low but scary. Crowley doesn’t need to raise his voice, but when he does it, you better run. Jo knows that too well.

“Yes but—” She starts to stutter.

“Don’t.” He inhales sharply, trying not to let out too much rage. “Those slaves stole your collars and your money.” He starts to say, marking every word he spits out with disgust. “They knocked you out and they escaped. You didn’t tell me about the stolen money or the stolen collars and now you want me to worry about your mistakes?”

“They are your slaves as well!” She snaps. Crowley leans his arms on his ebony desk and he tangles his fingers; he is expecting her to go on. She swallows with difficulty and she licks her lips before she speaks. She has to find the accurate words or her father would complain. “They belong to us and we should get them back and punish them in accordance to their crimes.”

Crowley huffs a sarcastic laugh. “ _We_. Right.” He says laughing in that scary way of his that makes Jo to shiver. “Let me tell you something Joanna.” He arches his eyebrows and dedicates her a calculative look. “I’m the most important businessman of the energy industry in this country. If anybody finds out what happened with those slaves, goodbye to my empire. I have enough with having a pretentious and stupid daughter like you who embarrasses me whenever she can.” He hasn’t sound as angrier, convinced and serious as he does now before. He knows his words are hurting his daughter, but Crowley doesn’t care. Jo is his daughter, but that doesn’t mean she can do whatever the hell she wants.

“So,” Crowley keeps saying. “I don’t want any scandal going on and let everybody know that my daughter was stupid enough to be fooled by two slaves!” His voice echoes in the whole house and the rage in his voice smashes the walls of his office in a heavy way. “I hate what has happened, but this is on you. I’m not going to call the police, I’m not going to put any denouncement or anything like that because this is the last thing I need.”

Jo looks down. Fear and rage are burning in her body in the same quantities. “So, what am I supposed to do?”

“Do you want them back? Find them by yourself.” He says. He leans forward and she gives her daughter his most dreadful glare. “But don’t make this public or involucrate me in this. You made this mess, so clean it up. And if you find them, I will make sure they pay for what they have done.”

Jo nods and she gets out of her father’s office. She takes a deep breath and she walks towards the living room. Dean and Castiel deserve to be punished, they were in a relationship, they robbed her money and white collars and they ran away. They can’t get away from this, they have to pay for what they did. Those bastards have to know the consequences for their acts.

Jo picks up the phone and she decides to call Gordon. After two beeps, he answers.

“ _Yes?_ ” Gordon says.

“Gordon, I’m Jo. I need you to do me a favor as soon as possible.” Jo says.

“ _What is it?_ ”

“Is it possible you could find me information about a slave you bought?”

“ _Only if I bought that slave to your family and if the slave was bought less than one year ago._ ”

Jo smiles. “He was.” She makes a pause. “I want you to find me any information about Dean.”

“ _Okay.” He says. “What kind of information?_ ”

“Mostly about where he is from.” She simply says. 

She knows that Dean wants to go home, and there are only two cities where there is a harbor and an airport. If Dean’s from Europe, he and Castiel will go to Blue Port, but if he is from America, he will go to High Port. And once Jo knows where Dean’s from, she will go and find him. Maybe she will be late, but she knows how cautious Castiel is and he must have avoided the Main Road, so maybe, Jo will still have time to catch them.

And they will pay for what they have done.

 

***

 

“I hate this fucking road.” Dean complains. There are too many curves and they have to drive through every single town and the road conditions suck, which means that they spend a lot of time.

“Babe, you have already said that.” Castiel says turning his face to look at Dean, who takes his eyes away from the road and smiles. “Dean! Look at the road!” He yells scared. He has discovered that Dean has the bad habit of not looking at the road while he is driving. Surprisingly, he has never had a car accident.

Dean laughs in a bright way and he looks at the road, but a few seconds later, his eyes go back to Cas. “You worry too much.”

Castiel inhales sharply and he cups Dean’s chin. He moves Dean’s face so his boyfriend is looking back at the road. “I would like to get to High Port in one piece.” He snaps. Dean rolls his eyes. Castiel lets go his grip on Dean. “How did you even get your driving license?”

“I’m a hell of a driver.”

Castiel huffs a laugh. “Assbutt.”

Dean moves one of his hands and he caresses Castiel’s thigh. “I love you.”

Castiel’s smile appears easily, without any effort. Dean makes him smile so easily, but it is easier when he says those three words. Dean is like that. He can change his temper from being a sarcastic dick to a lovely person. Something that Castiel really likes. Castiel places his hand above Dean’s and he tangles his fingers with the freckled ones of his boyfriend. “I love you too.”

They are getting closer to High Port. Castiel thinks they will get there by evening. Yesterday they drove the whole day and afternoon, except when they stopped to eat lunch and when it started to get dark, they stopped by a small town and they had dinner and they searched for a motel. Dean would have loved to keep driving so they would have arrived to High Port sooner, but he needed to rest in a bed and if he would have argued about it, he knows that Castiel would have dragged him into the motel.

When they woke up, they had breakfast and hit the road again. But before that, they refueled the car and they went into a supermarket and bought some snacks and sandwiches and chocolate bars. Dean said he doesn’t want to waste any more time. He wants to get out from this country as fast as they can.

Dean’s stomach growls and Castiel huffs a laugh. “What do you want?” Castiel asks as he searches in the plastic bag filled with food.

“Some sandwiches.” Dean answers peering into the plastic bag.

Castiel hands him one and Dean starts to eat it with one hand. “I still can’t believe that you never had a car accident.” He murmurs impressed. He decides to eat a sandwich as well. “You are a fucking reckless driver.”

Dean starts to laugh in a hilarious way, although the laughter is a bit choked because of the food he has in his mouth. He swallows when his laughter is almost gone and he speaks. “Fuck, I love it when you swear.”

“I know you do.” He smiles proudly. He hands Dean another sandwich and he keeps eating his. “It’s strange.” He says after a long pause.

“What?” Dean asks with his mouth full. Castiel glares him and he is about to punch him, but Dean turns his face to glare him. “I’m driving.” He says cockily and with a presumptuous smile on his pretty lips.

“I’ll punch you later then.” He pouts.

Dean makes a satisfactory smile. “Tell me, what’s strange?” He insists. Castiel looks down in an ashamed way. Dean catches him and he looks at Cas with a soft sight. He knows that look; it means that Cas thinks Dean might find it stupid or cheesy. “Cas, c’mon, you can tell me.”

“It’s— For the love you have me, look at the damn road Dean!” He says frustrated. If he could he would tape Dean’s head to the header of the seat so Dean would look at the road. Seriously, how on earth didn’t Dean get a car accident ever?

Dean rolls his eyes but he looks back at the road. “Well, are you gonna tell me or what?”

“Only if you keep your eyes on the road.” He says.

Dean doesn’t turn his face to Cas, but he glares at the road and Cas knows that glare is dedicated to him. “Fuck you.” He mumbles angrily.

Castiel makes a mischievous smile. “Maybe later.” His voice sounds really sexy.

Dean smirks and then, he smiles. “You are one of a kind.” He sounds sweeter and prouder than ever. “I don’t know what I did to deserve someone as fucking great as you, Cas.” Now he sounds nostalgic.

“I’m not as great as you, you know that.”

“Do you want me to stop the car and show you how wrong you are?” He arches one eyebrow, but not in that cocky and flirting usual way of his, this time is a serious and warning one. He glares at Cas and then, he keeps looking at the road. “You are fucking great Cas, I’ve told you a lot of times. I would tell you that over and over again because it’s true. I’ve never known someone like you. I’m so fucking glad that we met. I wish we’ve met in another place, but—” He takes a deep breath and he looks for a second at Castiel’s expectant eyes. “I wouldn’t have fallen for you if you weren’t this fucking great and this fucking awesome.”

Castiel makes a shy smile. “You are one of a kind too.” He unfastens the seatbelt and he kisses Dean’s cheek.

“I can stop the car if you want to kiss my mouth.” He suggests with a hussy voice. Castiel rolls his eyes and he smiles as he gets back to his seat and he fastens the seatbelt. “Damn, I wanted that kiss.”

Castiel chuckles. “Okay, stop the car.” He says a bit exhausted. Dean looks at him surprised and without asking or saying anything he stops the car. Castiel unfastens the seatbelt again and he approaches Dean and he kisses him in a sweet but passionate way. “Happy?” He asks with a huge smile on his face.

“As much as you.” Dean teases.

Castiel laughs and he kisses Dean, it is a brief one, but it is a great one. “Keep driving.” He commands.

“Yes, love.” He says with a happy and proud voice. Castiel chuckles and he rolls his eyes as he fastens his seatbelt. Dean keeps driving and after a few seconds, he speaks. “You haven’t told me what’s so strange.”

Castiel sighs and he pinches the bridge of his nose. “The idea of leaving the Brown Lands.” He starts to say as he looks at the road. “I have been waiting all my life to get out and now it seems odd, as if this was a dream and just in the moment when I’m getting out with you, I’m going to wake up and find this was a dream.”

“It’s not a dream, Cas.”

“How are you so sure?” He turns his face to look at Dean, trying to find any doubt on Dean’s voice or face, but there isn’t. “This is going so well. In my life, nothing good has happened, and if it had, it lasted so little. You are the exception, I know that a lot of things haven’t been perfect, we’ve been through a lot of punishments, but still, this is great and perfect and it seems unreal to me.” He makes a pause and he looks down. When he raises his sight, he sees that Dean is looking at the road with a serious face. “I’m talking nonsense.”

“No, Cas, no.” Dean says. Castiel frowns in confusion. Dean takes a deep breath and he makes a sweet and warm look before he looks back at the road. “But I guess that it’s time for both of us, especially you, to have something good in our lives. We’ve been through much crap together. It is normal to think that something bad it is gonna happen. Life ain’t easy; it is a bitch and it can hurt when you less expect it.”

Castiel adjusts himself on the seat and he exhales sharply. “You are right but—” He takes a deep breath.

“But?”

“Don’t get me wrong, Dean.” He starts to say cautious. He doesn’t know why he has brung the topic. But it is so easy to talk with Dean, to let all the things out. He can tell anything to Dean; he is going to listen to him and he isn’t going to judge him. Dean always listens and cares and Castiel can tell him anything; it doesn’t matter what it is. He looks at Dean and he keeps talking. “Being with you is the best thing that has happened to me and I’m sure I’ll never get tired of being with you and I’m more than sure that nothing bad is going to happen between us.”

Dean makes a happy and shy smile, he even blushes a little. “I think the same.” He confesses with a cute shy voice.

“I’m happy to hear that.” Castiel places his hand above Dean’s, the one on the wheel and he squeezes it. Dean dedicates him a pretty smile and he looks at Cas briefly.

There is a silence and Dean is the one to break it after some moments. “What’s the thing that worries you?”

“That something happens and we can’t get away from here. Nothing comes this easy, I—” He takes a deep breath and he squeezes Dean’s hand harder. “I know I shouldn’t worry too much about it, we left behind the worst part, but I can’t quit that bad feeling in the back of my head.”

“That’s called being human, Cas.” Dean explains with a soft voice. “You know this country, you know how cruel those bastards are. You stay alert, just in case. You never know.” He adds. He turns his face again, surprised that Cas hasn’t said anything about Dean’s reckless habit of not looking at the road, but he supposes that Cas right now doesn’t care too much about it. “We can’t be safe until we are home.”

Castiel nods and he moves his eyes back to the road. He feels a bit better knowing that Dean shares his thoughts, that he isn’t being paranoid about all of this. Until he is in the other side of the ocean with Dean, Castiel won’t feel safe and that bad feeling won’t disappear. They are still in the Brown Lands, and this country doesn’t show mercy with people like Dean and Castiel. He only wishes that nothing bad happens. He has suffered his whole life, Dean has suffered in these six months more than in his whole life. They have suffered enough. They only want to go to home. 

 

After a couple of hours, the couple arrives to High Port. It is late in the afternoon. Dean feels a weird sensation in his stomach. He remembers the last time he was there. He was in a bar, waiting for the hour to get in that ship and leave that country, sinking his pain about Sam’s death in alcohol. It seems like an eternity. A lot of things have happened since that night, he has changed a bit, he is happy thanks to Cas. Dean still misses Sam, he is going to miss his little brother his whole life, but he has Cas and Cas will help him to keep carrying on when Dean loses all his strengths. And Dean will help Cas to keep carrying on too.

Dean parks the car and he and Castiel get out of it and they walk towards the building where tickets are sold. There is a long queue, but they don’t mind waiting, they have come this far, they can wait a little bit more. Home is one ship away from them and they can almost feel that warmth and safety.

Once it is their turn, Dean is the one who speaks. “Two tickets to the next ship to New York.”

The man taps something on the computer. “The next ship will sail tomorrow at four p.m.” The man says politely.

Castiel and Dean feel a shiver running down their bodies. They will have to wait another day in this country and they don’t like it. But they have no other choice. Just a few more hours and they will get away. What are some more hours compared with the months Dean has been waiting and the years Castiel has been waiting?

“Okay, that one.” Dean says trying to sound casual. He looks at Cas, who nods. Then, Dean pays and Castiel and Dean get out of the building. Dean saves the tickets in his wallet. He doesn’t want to lose them for anything. “We should have dinner and find somewhere to sleep.” He suggests as he looks around.

“You are right.” He says. “Where do you want to eat?”

“Do you want something special? We still got more than 20.000 BL dollars.” He whispers.

Castiel makes a thoughtful grimace. “Not really. Any place is good.”

“How about a Taco Bell?” Dean suggests pointing with his face at the Taco Bell in front of the street. They have eaten in a lot of dinners and Dean wants something different from burgers, sandwiches and pasta. If he could, he would love to cook something for he and Cas, but he can’t.

“Okay. I’ve never been there before.”

“You are gonna love it.” He says with a big smile.

Dean was right; Cas was going to love it. After eating for sixteen years almost the same, everything tastes great for Castiel, it seems that he loves all kind of foods, from the healthiest to the junkiest. Dean knows he is going to love cooking for Castiel, making him taste what he does, avoiding Cas to steal some of the food Dean has already cooked, teaching him how to cook some things… It sounds awesome.

When they are walking out of Taco Bell, Dean sees a phone box. He stops and he starts to search in his pocket for some coins. As he does that, Castiel looks at him with his usual confused face.

“What are you doing?” Castiel wonders.

“I’m gonna call Bobby.” Dean says. “He needs to know that I’m alive and that I’m coming back. He hasn’t heard of me for months.”

Dean gets in the phone box and Castiel stays in the door, waiting for Dean and watching him. “Don’t say anything about that we were slaves.” Castiel whispers as Dean starts to dial. Dean makes a confused frown. “You never know who can be hearing.”

Dean should be surprised by it, but he isn’t. This is the Brown Lands after all. He keeps dialing and he waits until the line rings. He doesn’t know what time it is in USA, but he guesses that Bobby must be awake.

“ _Yeah?_ ” Bobby says when he picks up the phone.

Something extremely warm fills Dean’s chest. It’s been too long since he last heard the old man’s voice. “Bobby.” Dean simply says.

“ _Dean? It’s that you?_ ” He sounds devastated and shocked, and Dean understands why.

“Yeah, it’s me.” He smiles.

“ _Where the hell are you, boy? You’ve been missing for months! I even went with Rufus to that country to find you and we didn’t find anything!_ ” Bobby hasn’t sounded as desperate as this before. When Sam’s body was sent to the USA, Bobby wasn’t desperate, he was broken. “ _We couldn’t find a thing about you! Nobody knew about you, didn’t see you or any crap! Balls! We even searched for you in that slaves market and they kept saying we weren’t allowed to know things about the slaves! I thought I lost you!_ ”

Dean feels his heart breaking. He can’t imagine how bad and devastated Bobby has been while Dean was in this country. “Yeah, I know I couldn’t—” He takes a deep breath, feeling how his eyes get glassy. “I’m in the Brown Lands.” Dean explains. “Long story, I can’t talk right now. I’ve been through a lot of shit during these months. I’ll explain when I get there.” He looks at Cas who gives him a sympathetic smile. “Listen, we are gonna take a ship tomorrow and we are gonna be back there as soon as the transports let us. I guess we’ll be there in a week or so.”

“ _We?_ ”

Dean looks at Cas, who mouths him a ‘don’t say the word _boyfriend_ ’. Dean nods. “His name is Cas, I met him here. We’ve been through the same shit. I’ll explain you everything once we are home, okay? This line isn’t safe, Bobby.”

“ _Okay boy. Take care. And please, come back. I don’t wanna lose another boy._ ” He says with a heartbreaking voice. It is hard to hear Bobby like that, he has always been the one who kept Dean together so many times, that it is strange to hear Bobby like this. “ _It’s good to hear you after so long._ ” Dean can’t see him but he can hear Bobby making a relieved smile.

“You won’t. See you Bobby.” And Dean hangs up.

“Are you okay?” Castiel asks with his sweet voice.

“Yeah. Just wanna get out of here as soon as possible.” Dean explains with a tired smile.

They go to the nearest hotel. They have more than enough money to afford it, so they take one room, with two queen sized beds although they are going to sleep in one, but they can’t show that they are together.

The room is pretty big and beautiful. And the beds are extremely comfortable. Dean lets his heavy body to fall down on the bed, making the pillow to jump a little. Castiel chuckles and he rolls his eyes as he leaves their bag on the other bed.

“Come here Cas.” Dean says patting the bed.

Castiel smiles and he walks towards the bed. He lies above Dean and they start to kiss. Dean combs the black mess of Castiel’s hair with one hand while his other hand traces down Castiel’s back. Castiel cups Dean’s face and with the tip of his fingers, he combs in a soft way Dean’s hair. Dean’s mouth pulls into a grin as Castiel keeps caressing him that way.

“I love you so much.” Castiel says when they pull away. He stares at the infinite green forest of Dean’s eyes.

“I love you so fucking much.” Dean says before stealing him a kiss. He was so afraid of saying how much he loved Cas and it was really stupid. Cas is the best thing that ever happened to him and Dean doesn’t want this to stop. Ever. Dean kisses him again, in a slow and tender way, making Cas to moan slightly on it. “We are in High port. Finally.”

“Yes, we are.” He kisses Dean again, this time he pushes his tongue inside Dean’s mouth, feeling that wonderful warmth and that wetness of Dean’s mouth and tongue. Dean hums in the kiss and he pushes Cas downer.

“Kiss me again like that.” Dean prompts needy. Castiel smirks and he kisses Dean like that again. “You have improved a lot since our first kiss.” He says quickly before kissing Castiel in that way.

“I have a great teacher.”

Dean is now the one who smirks and he kisses Castiel. Now Dean is the one who gets his tongue in Castiel’s mouth, exploring that familiar mouth, tasting it like he always does. “Yeah, you do.”

Castiel chuckles and he rests his face on the crook of Dean’s neck. “I wish we were on the ship right now.”

“Yeah. But we have to wait. Tomorrow, by this time, we’ll be far from here.” Dean says in a soft voice. He is also willing to get the hell out of the Brown Lands.

“How long does it take us to get to New York?”

“About a week or so.” He explains. He keeps combing Castiel’s hair slowly, hearing how Cas makes a sort of a purr. “They go fucking slow, planes are faster, but I’m kind of terrified of flying.”

Castiel nuzzles Dean’s neck. He inhales in a slow way and he starts to stroke Dean’s chest, feeling the amount of layers he is wearing. He kisses Dean’s jaw and then, he rests his hand where Dean’s heart is. He can’t feel it perfectly because of the clothes, but he can still feel it.

“Cas.” Dean starts to say. Castiel hums a noise, which means a ‘yes?’. Dean takes a deep breath and he looks at Castiel’s eyes, which are closed. “What would you like to do once we are at home?”

Castiel makes a pretty smile. He opens his eyes and he looks at Dean’s; they are really bright. “Live.”

“How poetic.” He says sarcastically.

Castiel punches his arm and Dean chuckles. “Oh, I forgot it.” He punches him again and Dean frowns in confusion. “For when you were talking with your mouth full in the car.” He explains in his usual sassy way.

Dean makes a grimace and he rolls both of them, so now Castiel is the one lying on the mattress and Dean is above him. Dean starts to tickle Cas, who laughs and laughs and he tries to stop Dean, but he can’t. Dean is really strong and really good at pinning him and his hands are everywhere. Finally, Castiel pushes Dean’s head down and he kisses him, making Dean to stop.

“You are like a kid.” Castiel says.

“Do you realize about it now?” Dean arches a brow. Castiel chuckles and Dean kisses him. “You know, I could make a romantic dinner for you.” He says with a lovely voice.

“You? Being romantic?” He sasses as a huge smile appears on his lips. Dean can be romantic, but on special occasions. Castiel knows that if Dean wants to, he can be the cheesiest and the most romantic guy in the world, but that’s only in rare occasions. The truth is that he likes when Dean is like that, but he loves more Dean like this, being an assbutt who says once in a while sappy and cheesy things.

“I hate you.” He teases.

Castiel kisses him in a lovely way. “You don’t.” He sounds so self-secure.

“I don’t. And I can’t” He kisses Castiel in a nostalgic way and Castiel holds himself on Dean, as if he was afraid that Dean could fall apart. Dean keeps kissing him in a hard but lovely way. He can’t hate him. He loves that man too fucking much that it hurts. It burns him and he hopes it never stops burning him.

“Tell me more about that dinner.” Castiel whispers into Dean’s mouth. He combs Dean’s short hair slowly, feeling how Dean’s hair caress his fingers, smelling the shampoo he used this morning, mixed with that overwhelming smell of Dean, like leather, cotton, gasoline and ground.

“I could make dinner. I could play some music. I could dress up fancy for you. I could light some candles.” He explains with his sexiest voice.

Castiel smiles. “Would you do that for me?”

“I would do anything for you.” Dean confesses in a serious way, but there is a tiny smile trying to pop up on his lips.

“You are so cheesy tonight.” He comments with a pretty smile. He kisses Dean’s neck, on the skin above the white collar and Dean moans. “I love when you get cheesy once in a while.”

Dean chuckles. “Because you are so sappy and cheesy.”

“And you love me for that.”

“And for more.” He kisses Castiel in a needy way. “What do you want Cas?”

“You.” His voice sounds almost broken. “Only you.” He strokes with his thumb Dean’s cheek. Castiel kisses Dean in a desperate way. If this is a dream, he hopes he never wakes up from this. If this is the real life, he hopes nothing takes away Dean from him. “What do you want?” He asks breathless.

“You. My fucking perfect Cas.” And he kisses him again as desperate, needy, lovely and passionate as he can.

They keep kissing like that for so long. Then, they stay in silence, looking at each other, in a lovely way, as if they haven’t seen each other for years. They caress each other slowly, without moving their sights from each other’s eyes. They don’t take their clothes off, they don’t sneak their hands under their clothes, they don’t kiss; Dean sinks in the blue ocean of Castiel’s eyes and Castiel gets lost in the green forest of Dean’s eyes. All the words they aren’t speaking out with their mouths, are being said with their eyes.

Time passes until Castiel closes his eyes for a moment and he speaks. “We should sleep.”

“Yeah.” Dean says. He kisses Castiel slowly before standing up and starting to take his clothes off. Castiel does the same.

After all of that, they get in the bed, which is big enough for the two of them. Dean embraces Castiel, who approaches Dean and he hugs him too. And easily, like every time they are in the same bed, they fall asleep.

Morning comes. The few sunrays in the cloudy sky leak through the curtains and they wake up Dean and Castiel. It is almost eight o’clock, so they decide to wake up. While Dean takes his shower, Castiel undoes the other bed, the one they haven’t used because they don’t need to make anyone suspicious. Better be safe than sorry. The Brown Lands is a country with paranoid people. If they suspect anything, you can be really screwed up.

After Dean’s turn in the shower ends and then Castiel’s ends too, the couple goes to the hotel restaurant and they have breakfast. Dean serves himself as much bacon as he can, he even serves fruit and Castiel gives him an incredulous look. Dean likes fruit, but he would rather substitute the fruit for bacon and pancakes.

“I want to leave now.” Castiel says before he eats a toast with Nutella.

“Me too.” Dean says with his mouth full, which makes Castiel to kick him. Dean shows him his middle finger and Castiel glares him. Then, Dean smiles in a sweet way and he swallows. “You know we’ll have to wait until four.”

“I know, but I’m dying to go.” He says frustrated. He just wants to leave this country behind, never look back and start his new life with Dean. He has never expected to go this far, he has never been this close to leaving ever, but that feeling is still inside him, and until he isn’t in that boat, he won’t feel safe and able to breathe.

“Cas.” Dean says. He knows what Cas is thinking. Dean would love to hold his hand, but they aren’t alone, so he can only talk to him. “Everything will be okay. It will be only a few more hours.” He says trying to sound as sweet and calm as possible.

Castiel meets his eyes. There’s confidence in those stunning green eyes. Castiel nods and he makes a tiny smile. “Just a few more hours.”

“What are we gonna do in the meantime?” Dean asks before he bites a piece of bacon. Right now, the room is being cleaned up, so they won’t be able to get in there until a couple of hours.

“I don’t know.” He shrugs. “There’s a park not so far. We could take a walk before having lunch.”

“Yeah, why not?”

They finish their breakfast and they go to take a walk. They left the bag in the hotel room’s safe box. They will grab it before they leave. Although Dean is carrying his wallet with some money and the tickets, because he doesn’t want to get rid of them. He doesn’t want to lose those pieces of papers that will take them back home.

The day is quite cold and the sky is gray. It will rain. Both of them know it. But that will be in a couple of hours.

As they walk through the beautiful park, Dean hates the idea of not being able to grab Castiel’s hand and hold it as they walk, and the same happens with kissing. Dean wants to do all of that, but they can’t do that. It’s too fucking risky. He will have to wait, like always.

“Are you gonna miss anything from here?” Dean asks. They are staring at the pond, which has some beautiful swans on it.

“No.” Castiel simply says without taking his eyes of the swans. “Is there anything you think I will miss?”

“The woods and the gardens. USA doesn’t have these stunning parks, gardens and woods. Well, our forests are pretty awesome, but the ones here are fucking awesome.” He answers. He rests his hand on the cement of the wall that circles the pond.

“Maybe. But I don’t think I will.” He takes a deep breath.

There’s a small pause before Dean speaks. “Okay, what’s troubling you?”

Castiel chuckles and he looks at Dean’s eyes. “You always know when something is around my head, don’t you?”

“I know you freaking damn well Cas.” He recognizes with a proud smile. “Just tell me.”

“I’ve been here all my life. It was supposed to be my home, but it isn’t. Nevertheless, it still feels strange to leave all of this behind. Any other person would find it hard to leave the place where they were born. But I don’t. I’m weird, I guess.”

“Yeah, you are weird.” Dean says happily. “That’s what makes you fucking extraordinary. You aren’t like anybody else. You are weird.”

Castiel smiles in a timid way and he looks down. “I would kiss you right now if we weren’t where we are.” He whispers as low as he can.

“I know you would.”

They dedicate a warm smile to each other and they keep staring at the swans. This country has a lot of beauty on its parks, on its woods and its gardens, because all of that tries to hide the horrors from the country. It tries to paint the suffering with beauty, to hide it from your eyes with the majesty of their plants and their delicate animals. Like a curtain that tries to cover the worst of you.

Lunch time arrives, so Castiel and Dean decide to get back to the hotel and they eat in the restaurant. Dean orders a ribeye and Castiel orders monkfish. And everything tastes delicious. For dessert, Dean orders a pie with some cream on it and Castiel some chocolate ice cream. They steal a couple of spoons of each other’s desserts and Dean gets a little angry with Cas trying to steal his pie, but of course, Dean is teasing him.

After eating, they go to their room and Dean opens the safe box and he grabs the bag. He starts to make sure that nothing is missing and he grabs his wallet from his jean’s pocket and he sees that nothing is missing.

“Is everything in its place?” Castiel asks from the other bed where he is sitting.

“It is.” Dean answers. He zips up the bag and he walks towards Castiel. Then, he sits down next to him. He kisses him in a gentle way. After that, Castiel rests his head on Dean’s shoulder and Dean starts to runs his fingers through his hair. “Are you okay?”

Castiel nods. “I am. I just feel a bit nervous.”

“Me too.” He kisses Castiel’s head and he rests his hand on his boyfriend’s shoulder.

“But I’m excited.” He says with a pretty tiny shy smile. He moves his face so he can see Dean. Then, he cups his face and he kisses him in a lovely way. He can feel Dean’s grin appearing as they kiss. Castiel will never get tired of feeling Dean’s smile when they kiss. It feels too perfect, too extraordinary, too marvelous. “We could go now to the harbor and get in the ship.”

“You can’t wait, huh?” Dean chuckles. Castiel shakes his head. “I can’t wait either.” He stands up and he offers Cas his hand. “C’mon babe.”

Castiel grabs Dean’s hand and he stands up. He kisses Dean again in a happy way, making both of them to smile. Dean cups Castiel’s face and he approaches him, until there isn’t any space left. When they pull away, they smile like idiots and they chuckle. They are leaving. It seems impossible, but they are leaving.

Castiel grabs the bag and he and Dean get out of the room. They go down in the elevator and they walk away from the hotel. They see that it is raining heavily and they didn’t buy an umbrella.

“Lucky, both of us love walking down the rain.” Dean says with a smirk.

Castiel chuckles and he and Dean start to walk. The harbor isn’t too far. Once they get in the ship, they will change their clothes for dried ones.

“I hope we don’t get a cold.” Castiel says.

“I know about something we can do to get warm.” Dean says with a teasing voice. Castiel starts to laugh. “Holy fuck! You finally understood a hint!” He says really enthusiastic.

“It was about time, right?”

Dean dedicates him his most charming a happy smile and Castiel loves it. He even blushes a little. He would love to kiss Dean right now, under the rain. Kiss him until their lungs are craving for air, feeling how the raindrops keep falling over them, how they get warmer with every kiss. But they can’t. Once they are in USA, Castiel will do that. He and Dean should kiss under the rain. Even if Dean finds it the cheesiest thing ever, although he is sure that Dean won’t complain about it.

“Dean! Castiel!” A female voice shouts.

Dean and Castiel freeze. It can’t be. That voice. No. How is this possible? How did Jo find them? The couple looks at each other with terrified eyes. This is it. This is where their journey ends. They turn around and they see Jo, wearing a red blazer and a black umbrella. She looks angrier than ever.

“You fucking assholes!” She says and she gets out of her pocket a gun, as quick as always. She pulls the trigger and the bullet goes towards Castiel, but Dean pushes him away before it can reach the blue eyed man and Dean ends up being the one who shot.

“DEAN!” Castiel screams from the floor he has fallen down, crawling next to Dean.

Dean is on the floor, bleeding. He got shot down his rib. Castiel approaches him, seeing how Dean is bleeding a lot and how he is getting pale. It can’t be like this, no it can’t. Castiel refuses to be living this. This can’t be happening. Not now. Dean is bleeding. He is breathing with difficulties and Castiel is shocked and terrified and worried and he doesn’t know what to do. He is so absorbed by Dean that he doesn’t realize that Jo has approached them and that she is pointing the gun to Castiel’s head.


	46. Scared

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm updating a few hours sooner than usually because I won't be able to update at my usual hour, so here it is.
> 
> As always, thanks a lot for reading, for the kudos, the bookmarks, the comments and the subscriptions.

The rain keeps falling down. Dean’s blood is making a puddle with the rain on the sidewalk. It isn’t too much blood, but it is dying slowly the floor with that deadly red color. Castiel is crying. His tears are blending with the raindrops on his face. He can’t take his eyes from Dean. Dean pushed him away so Dean would be the one to be shot, and now Dean is bleeding and bleeding and Castiel is so terrified of this. Suddenly, he feels the gun pressing against his forehead. Jo is standing in front of them. Castiel moves his crying eyes to meet her rage hazel ones.

“I told you he was your weakness.” Jo says.

“Fuck you.” Castiel says. He knows he can’t move and there is no way he is going to let Dean die slowly from bleeding alone. If Dean is going to die, he will die with him. He has wanted to get away from this country for so long, but if he can’t go with Dean, he won’t go.

Jo grunts and she places her finger on the trigger, ready to shoot. Castiel looks at Dean’s eyes, those wonderful eyes where he has lost himself for so many times. It is the best thing to see before everything fades into darkness. But those eyes aren’t bright, they are glassy. Dean is still alive, he is still breathing and he knows his Cas is about to be shot and Dean doesn’t want that. Cas should run away, leave him there and have that life he deserves. Dean’s eyes are telling him to go, to leave him behind, but Castiel’s eyes are telling him that he is not going to leave Dean die alone.

This is how it ends. Castiel was right about his bad feeling. He forgets about anything else, he only focuses on Dean’s green eyes, in those wonderful and gorgeous eyes. He tries to forget about the situation, and he lets himself get lost in Dean’s eyes. Death will come for him in some seconds and all he just wants to see for the last time is those eyes that belong to the most extraordinary man in the world.

There’s a shot. But it doesn’t come from Jo’s gun. Castiel and Dean see how Jo drops the gun and her forearm starts to bleed and she screams painfully and falls down the sidewalk. Castiel and Dean turn their sights to see where that shot came from. A policeman is holding a gun. He was the one who shot her.

“Don’t move lady!” The policeman says as he approaches her. He cuffs her with difficulties because Jo doesn’t stop trying to release from him. She drops the umbrella to the floor and the policeman kicks her legs. “You have committed a terrible crime! You can’t shot people like that!” The policeman yells furious.

“They are monsters!” Jo yells. Shooting people with white collars is a serious crime, but not shooting people with black collars. But of course, Dean and Castiel are wearing white collars. “They are my slaves!” She yells angry and desperate.

“If we are your slaves why are we wearing white collars?!” Castiel yells angrily.

“Don’t you dare to talk to me like that!” She yells as if she was going insane. She starts to kick the air, trying to get away from the policeman’s grip again, but he holds her tightly.

“Shut up lady!” The policeman says as he moves her away. “Are you two going to be well?” He asks to Castiel.

“I’ll bring my cousin to the hospital.” Castiel says.

“He’s not your cousin! You are his lover! You two are my slaves!” She yells louder than before. She is going to try to get away from this, even if she knows she is really screwed up.

“That’s disgusting! That’s forbidden!” Castiel yells furious. “What kind of human beings do you think we are?!” He hates saying those words, but he has to pretend. Like always. He needs to get Dean to a hospital as soon as possible.

“Don’t you—” But the policeman uses a stunt gun and Jo passes out, unable to complete the sentence.

“You should get him to a hospital.” The policeman says.

Castiel nods. “I’ll take care.” The policeman gets in his car and he gets Jo in there too. He sees how both of them disappear from his sight as quick as they appeared out of nowhere. Castiel makes a chocked breath and he tries to help Dean to get up. Some of the people that stopped by to see what Jo did start to walk again, not caring about the bleeding man in Castiel’s arms. “Come on Dean, we need to get you to a hospital.” Castiel says with a desperate voice.

“No.” Dean says breathy and fisting Castiel’s t-shirt in a weak way. “We can’t— we need to— get in that ship.” He says with difficulty. Every word comes out as if it weighed tonnes. The bullet is still stuck inside him and it hurts like hell.

“Are you insane?!” Castiel yells angrily. More tears fall down from his eyes, this time they are from frustration. “You need to get into a hospital Dean! If you don’t, you’ll die!”

“Cas, listen to me, love.” Dean mumbles in a whisper. Dean closes his eyes and he takes a deep breath. “We can’t stay here. If Crowley appears…” He looks at those glassy blue eyes. They look beautiful even when they are glassy and sad. The rain keeps falling down, drenching Cas, making some of his hair to be stuck on his forehead and his eyelashes have raindrops on them. He looks freaking gorgeous and Dean can’t help making a tiny smile. He isn’t sure if he is going to make it, but right now, he just wants to see that man, to appreciate how fucking gorgeous and awesome he is, like he has always done. Dean takes another breath and he keeps talking. “This is our only chance to run away from this country.” He explains. Castiel is about to say something, but Dean raises his hand, telling him to shut up. “You know it. If they find us, if Crowley shows who we are—” He takes another needy breath. Even breathing hurts. “We won’t be able to go home.”

Castiel starts to sob angry and desperate. “Dean, you are bleeding. You are going to die if you aren’t sewed.” He doesn’t understand how Dean can be talking seriously about this. They can’t get in the ship while Dean is bleeding like this.

“You can sew me.” Dean says with a smirk. “We’ve got that sewing case, remember?” He feels how his voice is getting weaker and lower.

“I haven’t sewed anyone.” He says terrified. He can’t heal Dean. He needs to get out the bullet and then he will have to sew him. Castiel has never done something like that. What if he hurts Dean more? What if he can’t save him and Dean dies? He can’t. Castiel can’t do this. Dean needs a doctor, someone who can actually save him, not someone like Castiel, who only knows about healing wounds with bands and antiseptic, not with sewing. And Dean has lost a lot of blood, he needs a blood transfusion.

“Cas. Love.” Dean insists. He still has a smile on his lips. A weak one, but it is there. Castiel looks at him with terrified eyes. Dean knows that Cas doesn’t want to lose him, he doesn’t want him to die and Cas is so fucking terrified of that. Dean knows it, he can see it in those expressive eyes. “You know how fucking stubborn and reckless I am. We are gonna get in that ship and you are gonna sew me. I know you can do it.”

“Dean—”

“Let’s jump that cliff. Remember? If I jump, you jump. Right?” He says with a smile. Dean knows Cas can heal him. The problem is that Dean isn’t sure if he can last that long. The wound hurts more and more as time passes and he feels how the bleeding doesn’t seem to stop. Dean just wants Cas to run away from here, and he knows that Cas won’t go without him. Castiel is about to say something, but once again, Dean interrupts him. “Don’t lose all you ever wanted for me.”

“You are everything I want. You know it.” He hisses in a whisper, afraid of being heard by someone. He cries harder. He doesn’t want a life without Dean. He has lived for years without Dean, but now, imagining a life without Dean hurts him and Castiel finds it impossible, he needs Dean, more than anyone and anything.

“Cas.” Dean starts to stand up and Castiel looks at him with incredulous eyes. Dean doesn’t last too much still and Castiel has to hold him. “Let’s take that fucking ship.” He says with a weak smile.

“You—” He looks at Dean. He is right; if they stay in this city for longer and Crowley shows that they are his slaves, they are fucked up. But Dean is bleeding and Castiel isn’t sure if he will be able to heal him and save him. Castiel sobs and takes a deep breath. He hasn’t got any better choice. They have jumped off that cliff, now they have to see if the fall kills them or not. It has always been about that. “Let’s go you fucking assbutt.” He says with a grunt and with his eyes full of tears.

Dean smiles. He has to hold himself on Castiel. Dean is too weak. He keeps bleeding and the bullet hurts a lot, especially when he walks. But Castiel holds him tightly and stays Dean in place. The sooner they get into that ship and they arrive to their stateroom, the better. Castiel is still unsure if he is going to be able to heal and save Dean. But he has to give it a shot. He hopes he doesn’t fuck anything up. Dean has to live. He and Dean have to live together that wonderful life that is waiting for them.

They get to the ship and the man who asks for the tickets looks at Dean oddly. Dean is hiding with the jacket his bleeding wound, pressing it in order to stop the hemorrhage and he is trying so hard to keep himself still, but he looks awful; he is paler than ever and his eyes are looking at nothing.

“He is a bit terrified of sailing.” Castiel says. He tries to sound casual and calm, but he isn’t. The rain hides his crying eyes, but his voice is filled with terror.

Finally, the man lets them in and Castiel grips Dean tightly again and they walk towards the stateroom, which is pretty far and Dean can’t walk too fast. He is almost dragging his feet and Castiel has to carry Dean’s weight with him.

“We are almost there.” Castiel says scared. Dean is weaker as time passes and he is paler. Castiel has to make sure that Dean is still breathing. Once in a while Dean nods. He doesn’t speak, but knowing that Dean is still fighting, it calms Castiel a little bit. But not too much. “Hold on, love. Hold on.” He says with a heartbreaking voice and he looks at Dean, who nods in an almost unnoticeable way.

They arrive to their stateroom and Castiel opens it as fast as he can. Dean can barely hold himself still. That’s a really bad sign. Castiel needs to stay calm, stop being terrified, because if he isn’t calmed, he is going to screw it up, and neither Dean nor he has that luxury. But Dean is agonizing, he looks freaking bad, he doesn’t stop bleeding, his skin is looking dangerously pale and he can barely keep his eyes opened. This looks too bad and Castiel doesn’t know what to do, he doesn’t know where he is going to clung himself to avoid falling apart. He is not ready for this, he is not ready for losing Dean. He wishes he could wake up from this and find Dean next to him, sleeping soundly, holding Castiel. But that isn’t going to happen.

Castiel gets both of them into the stateroom and he drops Dean on the bed. Castiel closes and locks the door and he starts to search into the bag for all the medical stuff: the sewing case, the bands, the antiseptic and anything he is going to need. He makes a mess, he drops all the clothes on the floor, desperate to find everything, not caring where the clothes end. He will care about them when Dean is healed.

Once Castiel has everything, he goes towards the bed and he sits next to Dean. “I’m going to take off your clothes.” Castiel says really nervous.

Dean just nods. His eyes are half-closed and his lips are parted. His breathing is extremely low. Castiel starts to take off his jacket, his shirt and his t-shirt. All of them are soaked with the rain water and Dean’s blood. When Dean is shirtless, Castiel can see the bullet hole on Dean’s abdomen. Then, he looks at Dean with scared eyes.

“Looks fucking bad, doesn’t it?” Dean whispers. He meets Castiel’s eyes. He has never seen them as scared and fragile as now. He hates seeing them like that, he wants to see the bright and happiness on the sapphire sea, but this isn’t a happy situation.

“What if I can’t—” Castiel starts to say with a trembling voice.

“Cas.” Dean grabs his wrist in a weak way. He doesn’t even have the enough strength to grab his boyfriend’s wrist in a proper way. “Don’t think about that.” His voice is calmer than it should.

“Dean—” Tears start to fall down his eyes again and Castiel clenches his jaw to suppress a sob.

“Come here, love.” Dean moves his arm until he can place his hand on Castiel’s nape. He pushes him down slowly, until their mouths are touching and Dean kisses him in a passionate but slowly way. He isn’t sure if this will be their last kiss and if it is, he needs to give Cas a proper farewell kiss. Dean doesn’t care if he is wasting his time, he hasn’t got a lot, so he better use his last time kissing the man he most loves, the man who changed his world, the man who made him feel things he never expected to feel. He needs to kiss him with all the love in his heart. “I love you Cas.” Dean whispers.

“Why did you kiss me as if we weren’t going to kiss again?” Castiel asks with a heartbreaking voice. He looks at Dean’s eyes, trying to find the truth in them. Dean can’t be like this. Dean has been always a fighter, he can’t give up now. Because if he gives up, Castiel can’t find the strength to heal Dean.

Dean smiles. Cas knows him too well. Dean caresses Castiel’s cheek. Dean’s fingers have some of his own blood, so he leaves some bloody fingertips on Castiel’s cheeks. “Do you love me?” The question comes out easy and quiet, it is just a soft whisper, but there’s some brightness on that question.

“Of course I love you!” Castiel yells. He doesn’t understand why Dean is saying all of this. Actually he knows it, but he refuses to accept it. This is a farewell, just in case Dean doesn’t make it. And Castiel doesn’t like this idea. “Dean—”

“Cas.” Dean interrupts. He doesn’t want to hear Cas’ painful words. Dean needs to let out everything inside his heart. He takes a deep breath. The pain is really intense. He wants to cry, but he keeps the tears to himself. Cas’ last image of him can’t be a sad one, it should be a one with Dean smiling, even if it is a soft and tiny smile. But Cas can see that smile. Dean closes his eyes for a moment and he doesn’t open them until he speaks again. “I just want you to know that you are the best thing that ever happened to me and that I love you. I will always love you, Castiel. I love you.” He makes a last effort and he makes a bigger smile.

Castiel cries out. He closes his eyes and rivers of tears fall down his face. “I love you. I love you. I’ll always love you. I love you Dean Winchester. I love you. I love you.” He cries out with a heartbreaking voice. What if these are their last words to each other? Castiel would rather not think about this. It hurts a lot. He inhales sharply and he moves away from Dean’s face. Castiel looks up and he takes a needy breath. He is fisting his jeans. He needs to do it. He needs to save Dean. The thing is that he isn’t sure if he is going to be able to do it. Dean wouldn’t be saying all of this if he thought he is going to make it. Just thinking about that it hurts a lot.

Dean reaches his hand and Castiel looks at Dean, who is smiling in a soft and warm way. Even when he is dying, Dean calms him, Dean avoids him from breaking into million pieces. Castiel exhales sharply and he nods. Maybe he can’t save Dean, but if he doesn’t try it, he will never know it. Dean is running out of time, and the more Castiel wastes the time, the harder it will be for him to save Dean.

Castiel starts to clean the wound, but it still keeps bleeding. Dean grunts in a painful way when Castiel touches the bullet wound. He hasn’t started yet and Dean is already suffering. And Castiel has to remove the bullet. He hopes that it is in one piece, because if it is in several pieces, it will be impossible to take it out and heal Dean. This is going to hurt Dean a lot. He has been through a lot of punishments, but nothing like this.

Castiel looks at Dean, who still has his eyes half closed and Castiel takes a deep breath, trying to catch all his will and strength with that simple gesture. He gets his finger inside the wound to find the bullet and Dean screams painfully. Castiel hates that sound. It is made of pure pain, as if Dean’s voice was trying to torn him and escape from him, but Castiel has to find the bullet and remove it from Dean. Dean is fisting the quilt with one hand and with the other he is nailing Castiel’s thigh. It is painful, but Castiel doesn’t care, because that means Dean is still alive, and the pain keeps Castiel in place. The bullet is too deep and it takes a while for Castiel to reach it.

Suddenly, Castiel doesn’t feel Dean nailing his thigh and Dean isn’t screaming anymore. The stateroom is in complete silence. Terror takes over Castiel’s body. He looks at Dean. His eyes are closed, his head is tilted to one side. Castiel isn’t sure if Dean is breathing. The panic in Castiel’s body is growing and growing and he is petrified. He can’t stop looking at Dean’s face, and he can’t do anything. He is blocked.

The atmosphere feels colder as seconds pass. It feels as if the temperature in the stateroom dropped down drastically; but it hasn’t. The cold, the feeling of freezing is only inside Castiel, as it is the product of the fear he is feeling because Dean’s isn’t moving. Dean isn’t screaming or grunting. Dean is still. Dean looks almost dead. And it is fucking terrifying.

He needs to do something, but panic has him paralyzed. He hasn’t removed the bullet yet. Dean is still bleeding and Castiel isn’t doing anything. He needs to do something. He needs to be calmer than ever, but it is so hard to be calm right now. He isn’t sure if Dean is dead, in a comma or just passed out. Castiel has known what terror is for a lot of time in his life, but right now, this is being the worst terror in his life. There is a cold electrifying feeling running down his back, there’s cold sweat along his body, his stomach is twisting in a disgusting way and he is trembling. Fear has taken over him.

He doesn’t know where he finds the strength to stop being shocked and paralyzed, determination taking over his body and he removes the bullet. Thankfully it was in one piece. Castiel drops the bullet on the floor and he moves his hand to Dean’s pulse, but he doesn’t feel anything. Castiel starts to breathe really fast, he is in the edge of hyperventilating. He can’t control his breathing; he isn’t sure how he is even breathing. He whispers a few ‘no’ in between his heavy gasps.

Castiel places his ear on Dean’s chest, just right where his heart is. “Dean.” Castiel says needier than ever. “Dean.” He closes his eyes and tears fall down again. He can’t control this pain, this scary feeling. He is so desperate to find anything that shows that Dean’s alive. He hears Dean’s heart beating. It is beating extremely slowly and really low. But Dean is still alive. Although Castiel knows that beating isn’t a good sign. He cups Dean’s face, staining Dean with his bloody fingers. “Dean. I’m going to save you. Keep fighting my love. Keep fighting.” He says with a heartbreaking voice. He doesn’t even know how he can let out any word. All inside Castiel is panic, fears and pain, hurting him like sharpening knives.

He opens the sewing case. His hands are trembling a lot. He doesn’t know how he doesn’t drop down to the floor anything. He has never been this trembling in his life. Dean is closer to death than life and Castiel doesn’t like that. He takes a deep breath, trying to calm himself, but it doesn’t do much. The love of his life is on that bed, really close to die, and Castiel is the only one who can do anything to avoid that. Although the odds of saving Dean are extremely low. But Castiel has to try. He has to save that man. Dean has saved him, Dean has made him come to life, Dean has made him feel. Castiel must save Dean, he owes him that. Dean rescued him from the darkness and he brought life and colors to his awful life. He reborn with Dean.

Castiel starts to sew Dean. His pulse is terrible, but he doesn’t let the nerves and the panic take over him. Not now. There’s too much to lose right now and Castiel can’t make any mistake. Dean’s life is on his hands. He needs to be calmer and more concentrated than ever. One bad stich and everything would have been in vain. Dean will die. No more smiles, no more jokes, no more sights, no more laughs, no more kisses, no more hugs, no more words, no more making love, no more games, no more life. Castiel doesn’t want to end everything like this. Not this way. No. There’s too much too live yet, there’s too much to know and Dean must be there with him.

The last stich is done and Castiel cuts the remaining thread. The wound isn’t bleeding anymore. He did a good job. He inhales in a desperate way, although there’s a tiny relief on it. Some more tears appear again. His eyes hurt and they are extremely red and swollen for crying so much. He never thought he could cry this much. He used to cry a lot when he was with the Master, but not as much as today.

Castiel looks at Dean and he cups his face. “Dean.” Castiel says desperate. He shakes Dean’s head, trying to wake him up, but Dean doesn’t wake up. “Dean!” He yells in a breaking sob. His throat hurts and he needs to swallow. Words are stuck in his throat and they only can come out with choked and painful sobs. “Dean!” He yells again, with his most heartbreaking voice. But Dean doesn’t react. He is still with his eyes closed. His breathing is almost gone. Castiel rests his forehead on Dean’s and he cries and he cries. He lets out all the painful sounds stuck on his throat and his tears keep falling down his face, some of them drop over Dean’s face. “Dean—” He tries to say, but he can’t barely speak. He is in too much pain, he is scared. “Dean—”

He can’t lose Dean. He can’t lose the only light in his life. Dean can’t die. He can’t. Castiel has done everything that needed to be done to save Dean from death, but Dean doesn’t wake up. Dean is still with his eyes closed, barely breathing. He is still. His chest doesn’t rise and fall, now even slightly. His body temperature is really cold. Castiel should dry Dean from the cold water from the rain, he should dry himself too, but he doesn’t want to move away from Dean. Castiel can’t stop crying. He is waiting for Dean to wake up, to open his beautiful eyes, to breathe again, to smile like he always does.

“Dean, please—” Castiel cries out. He looks pathetic, he knows it, he looks so desperate, so needy, but he doesn’t give a damn about it. He just wants Dean to open his eyes, to keep fighting. “Stay with me.” He says opening his eyes. He stares at that face, which looks extremely in peace. He looks at that face he has stared hours and hours, admiring every single small part of it, trying to count all the freckles of it. “Don’t go. Stay.” He makes a chocked sob. “Don’t leave me—” He inhales in a heavy way, feeling how his lungs hurt with every breath he takes. He digs his nail on Dean’s shoulder, feeling the cold skin. Dean has always been so warm, but now he is too cold and Castiel hates it. It is a sign of life trying to abandon Dean’s body step by step. “I love you, Dean.” He makes a painful sound. “Stay. Please—”

Castiel closes his eyes again and he rests his forehead on Dean’s collarbone. He keeps crying as his hand traces down Dean’s chest, until it arrives to the place where Dean’s heart is. The beating is slower than the last time Castiel felt it. Dean’s heart, so big, always willing to give all his love to Castiel, now it is fading into the death, slowly, consuming Dean, burning him as slow as possible.

“Dean—” Castiel cries again. He shakes his head on Dean’s chest, refusing to accept this. “Dean—” The pain is almost unbearable. He is losing Dean. And he can’t do anything against it. All Castiel can do is to cry, to hold himself in Dean, waiting for something. He just wants Dean so bad to walk away from death, but deep down Castiel knows he is going to lose Dean, that he isn’t going to see him again, and Castiel just cries and cries, unable to do anything else, saying Dean’s name in broken sobs. “Dean—”

And Castiel keeps crying, until his lungs run out of air. But his pain is still there.


	47. Castiel's Speech

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas my dear readers, I wish you all are having a good time, even if you don't celebrate Christmas or if you don't like it. Sorry that my gift is this angsty chapter.
> 
> At the end there are more notes talking about the concern some of you have about what it is going to happen with Dean, so if you want to read it, just read, if you want to keep uncertain until next week's chapter, then don't read it. They aren't _actual_ spoilers, but they are, so just don't read it.
> 
> As always, thank you so much for reading, for the kudos, the comments, the bookmarks and the subscriptions.

Four days have passed and Dean is still on that bed. His heart is still beating, but extremely low and slow. And his breathing is almost non-existent. Castiel is looking at Dean. He is sitting on the edge of the bed where Dean is. There’s another bed, but Castiel doesn’t want to sit or sleep on it. He wants to be with Dean, but he is alone, with Dean’s body. He hasn’t eaten or slept properly since he sewed Dean’s bullet wound. Castiel has lost his appetite, although he forces himself to go to the restaurant and eat something, but he doesn’t eat much. He can’t sleep either. He lies down, next to Dean, expecting his boyfriend to react, to open his eyes, to show that he isn’t in the dangerous path of death. But nothing of that has happened.

Castiel has circles around his eyes. He only gets a couple of hours of sleep. The rest of the time, when he doesn’t go to the bathroom to relieve himself or take a shower, or when he goes to the restaurant to eat as few as possible, he is sitting on that bed, staring at Dean. Also, he sometimes gives Dean a bit of water, being very careful because he doesn’t want to choke him. He gives him water so he doesn’t dehydrate, but it is quite pointless right now. Nevertheless, he still does it.

He places his hand on Dean’s chest, now covered with one of his Henley’s t-shirts, so Dean can’t feel cold, and Castiel tries to feel if Dean’s heart keeps beating. It does, but the beating goes lower and slower as days pass.

He hasn’t stopped crying. Maybe tears stop for a while, a couple of hours, not more, but then, tears fall down from his eyes and he cries and he cries. His eyes are extremely swollen. His throat aches from too many sobs. Less than a week ago, everything was smiles, laughs, happiness and now, all is sadness and pain. Castiel doesn’t feel anymore the path his tears leave on his cheeks, he is too used to them now. The worst part is knowing that he can’t do anything for Dean, that he is here, waiting for the worst to come. And what hurts more than anything is the hope. Castiel knows Dean isn’t going to get away from this, but Castiel clings into that hope and he knows it is going to kill him too. Nothing is more dreadful that hanging yourself in a hope that you know it won’t happen.

Castiel takes a deep breath and he combs Dean’s hair softly, petting it like he has always done. He stares at that beautiful face, so in peace but with a soft frown on it. He has seen all Dean’s expressions and seeing him this lifeless is extremely hard and distressing.

Castiel should get away from Dean, to take a breath, to forget about all of this for a while. But he can’t. He won’t. He doesn’t want to leave Dean’s side. He only leaves him to eat, and he doesn’t spend more than ten minutes outside. Castiel hopes that he will see the moment when Dean opens his eyes. He is stupid for believing it is going to happen. He knows what a fool he is.

Nobody has entered in the room. Castiel hung the sign of ‘don’t disturb’ on the handle. He doesn’t want anyone to disturb Dean, as if Dean was going to be upset by that… Castiel takes a deep breath and more tears decide to run down his face, falling onto the quilt or Dean’s chest.

Castiel isn’t ready to let Dean go. Not now. Maybe never. Or maybe one day, when they are too old, after living happily for decades, after doing all the things they have to do, after sharing too many happy moments and giving to each other a lot of love. When their bones are too wasted, when their bodies are clumsy, when they are covered by wrinkles in their skin, after making their story together, after their memories are in their minds, in their hearts and in every single small corner of their beings. That’s when Castiel will be ready to let Dean go, when they finish the last page of their story.

And now it isn’t the time for that. Their story is just in the beginning, there are too many pages to write, too many stories to live, it can’t end up like this, with Dean dying on a bed in a ship, after Jo shot him. Castiel refuses to accept this. But he knows their story together is ending, and it hurts more than anything, his heart aches to death of just thinking about it. This is the end. It has been a beautiful story, but it has to end. And it is too fucking soon.

Castiel reaches Dean’s hand and he holds it. He squeezes it, hoping that Dean will squeeze back, but he doesn’t. And maybe he won’t. Castiel closes his eyes in a hard way, making it easier to his tears to fall. Memories of Dean and their time together keep flashing in his mind, playing like an old movie. Everything they have lived together, from the hardest moments, to the happiest. It hurts. And it hurts even more knowing that he won’t be able to relive all of that again over and over, that those stories won’t be written and the only thing he will be able to do is to remember and live in the past.

He looks up at the ceiling, trying to don’t let out more tears and he tightens Dean’s hand. Castiel looks at Dean. He doesn’t know what time it is; he doesn’t care either. It must be late. Castiel is tired, emotionally and physically, but he can’t sleep. He decides to lie aside, next to Dean. He presses his body closer to Dean, feeling the cold body that used to be like a heater not so long ago. Castiel keeps holding Dean’s hand and he rests his other hand on Dean’s chest.

Castiel looks at Dean’s face. He has woken up so many times next to Dean, he has seen him too many mornings fighting against the alarm clock, trying to get back to sleep, kissing Castiel, trying to keep him in bed for as long as he could, but seeing Dean this lifeless, it the worst. He should be accepting the idea that Dean isn’t going to wake up, but he can’t. It took them a lot to finally be together, to run away, and now all of that it is going to fade away, in an ephemeral way, as if Castiel and Dean and everything they lived was made of smoke.

Castiel inhales in a hard way and he fists Dean’s t-shirt, as if with that he could avoid letting Dean go. He remembers Dean’s last words to him, telling him that he loved him. He repeated them over and over again and Castiel told him all those words, crying with all the pain and fear that he had in that moment. There’s a lot he hasn’t told Dean yet, and maybe he won’t be able to tell him ever. Castiel looks at Dean. Maybe he should tell Dean now, even if he can’t hear him.

Castiel clears his throat. It has been days since he last said a word. He licks his lips before he starts to speak in a soft, calm and painful voice. “I know you can’t hear me. Nevertheless, I need to tell you a few things.” He sighs. “I guess I need to let you know some things before it is too late. Part of me wants to believe that you are going to get out of this, but I know that—” His voice breaks and he needs a moment to make a sob and let his tears fall down. “I know that it is almost one hundred percent possible that you are going to die.” He fists Dean’s t-shit harder and he squeezes Dean’s hand tighter. “But it is so hard to let you go Dean— So hard.”

Castiel makes a pause. He closes his eyes, trying to find the words he wants to share with Dean. It isn’t going to be easy, but he needs to let them out. He sighs before he keeps talking. “When I first saw you, when you appeared behind that door, I could see that there was something different in you. Your eyes weren’t filled with that usual rage I was used to see in anyone else. There was an almost unnoticeable sparkle in them, something different, something good. I hoped that I was right. And you didn’t disappoint me.” He makes a soft smile. It seems like an eternity since they met that night. “You weren’t like anybody else in that awful country, you treated me like a person, you spoke to me like a person, you looked at me like a person. There was a lot of humanity in you and it was just extraordinary.”

“I didn’t trust you at first.” Castiel goes on. “I mean, I saw you were different, that there was goodness in you, but you know my life has never been easy and I didn’t want to be hurt again. But you kept showing me that I could trust you. All those small chats we had, they started to build a friendship. And for the first time in my life, I could feel a small happiness every time I was around you. You made me smile and blush easily and it was great.” He caresses Dean’s chest and he looks at his hand. “I remember how hurt I felt when we fought, but after we made up, everything was back to that tiny happiness that was building and building. You started to make me laugh harder than ever, I smiled more often and I felt great with you. All my life I was dead and you were bringing me back to life. I’ll never be able to thank you enough all of that, for making me be alive.”

His mouth makes a sad grin and he takes a deep breath as he keeps crying. He tries to keep his voice calm, but it is really difficult. Despite of that, he keeps talking. “I loved coming to the garage and seeing how happy you were for seeing me. I loved that smile. You always looked so happy when you saw me coming to the garage. You always made me smile and laugh and I felt as if I didn’t do enough to do the same for you, but when I saw you smiling when I arrived to the garage it was extraordinary. It was a heartwarming sensation.”

Castiel presses himself a little bit more to Dean. He makes a pause and he takes several deep breathes. He looks at Dean’s quiet face and he frowns in a sad way. “I started to feel things for you, but I didn’t know exactly what they were. I was so confused. Everything was new with you, everything was happy and bright that I didn’t understand what was going on with me. I realized I was falling in love with you the day of my birthday.” He makes a nostalgic smile as he remembers that night. “You gave me berries because you remembered that berries belonged to a happy memory. And when you started to hum and dance, I felt greater than in my whole life. I laughed and laughed, more than ever, I was drunk with you, with the happiness you gave me, with all those things you made me feel. I understood that I was in love with you and it felt the most wonderful thing in this world, to fall in love with you, Dean.” He says with a heartbreaking voice.

Castiel cries for some moments, until he feels that his voice can work again. “I didn’t tell you before because I wasn’t sure about how you felt. In your words, I suck with that.” He makes another nostalgic smile. His head says that last sentence with Dean’s voice. That wonderful voice he isn’t going to hear anymore. He makes a suffocate sound, mixed with a sob. Then, he takes another heavy breath and he keeps talking. “Falling in love with you was so easy. But I was a bit scared. It was new to me. Complicated. And I—” He closes his eyes and sighs. It hurts to remember all of that. “I wasn’t sure about what I was supposed to do. I was afraid of telling you, because I thought I was going to lose you as a friend, that you didn’t love me back and once you found out my feelings for you, I was scared of your reaction.”

Castiel moves the hand on Dean’s chest to Dean’s cheek and he strokes it in the gentlest possible way. He smiles in a painful way and he gets his hand back to Dean’s chest. “I tried so hard not to let you see how much I loved you, how much I wanted to kiss you and to hold you, and it was really difficult. It was like dying, you know? Every time you were close and one of us pulled away, when we were about to kiss, or when one of us said that it was only a friend thing, I died a little. But as long as you stayed with me, I was happy.”

“If you were awake, you wpuld probably say I’m being cheesy and sappy.” He chuckles in a devastated way. He remembers Dean’s sassy face when he said that Castiel was being cheesy. How much Castiel misses seeing Dean’s facial expressions. “And I’m sure you would probably say ‘bullshit’ about what I’m about to say.” His voice breaks, sounding high pitched. Castiel makes another sob, careless of the tears. “I never told you anything because I wasn’t worth. Because you didn’t deserve someone as broken as me. You deserved someone who made you smile, who made you happy, who made you feel the way you made me feel. I wasn’t good enough for you.” His eyes are burning with all the tears he is letting out. The tears are waterfalls falling down from his sapphire eyes.

“When we got together I still thought about that. I really believed that one day, you would see how broken I was and that you would leave me. But you didn’t. You saw the worst parts of me, you saw how broken I was and you put me together. And I like to think that I did the same with you.” He smiles and he cries for some moments. He presses his forehead on Dean’s jaw. His body shakes with every cry. He should stop talking, but he doesn’t want to. There’s still too much to say.

“Do you remember the night I almost died? After Jo punished me? I was thinking about you all the time, Dean. I thought I was going to die and I didn’t want to die in that room. If I had to die, I wanted to die in your arms, after seeing those gorgeous green eyes of you. It would have been awful for you, I know, but— I needed to see you one last time, to see for the last time the only goodness that ever was in my life.” He sighs and he looks at Dean’s eyelids, hiding Dean’s stunning eyes. “And you saved me. You were devastated, I never saw you that broken, that hurt. You didn’t want to lose me. I remember how hurt, cold and exhausted I was, and you took all that away, like you always do, and you give me comfort and warmth. I remember all those words you told me, saying how perfect I was, and you kissed my temple and I couldn’t believe you, because nobody had ever said something like that to me. You cared about me, I was important to you, you wanted me to be happy and well and I— Well, you know it.”

Castiel exhales needy. “You always took care of me. I always took care of you. And you always cared. When you told me all those things when you fought with Alastair, I had to kiss you, to show you how much important you were to me. I didn’t think about the consequences, I just couldn’t hold on more, I couldn’t hide it anymore. I was scared of screwing it up, but then you kissed me and it was wonderful. Everything I had wanted for so long was happening and I was lost in you and it was madness and perfect and extraordinary.”

“Truth be told, I was a bit scared of doing something wrong. This was my first relationship and you aren’t a person who likes to talk about relationships or feelings.” He chuckles again in that sad and painful way. “But I was a bit terrified of doing something that I shouldn’t. And you didn’t push me, you went to my same rhythm, you always made sure I was okay with whatever we were doing. You might hate it, but you are a gentleman, Dean.” Now his chuckle is a bit happy, but it still has pain on it. Too much. “We built everything little by little, one step at time. We were making it up as we went and I have never been as happy as I was every time when we were together. We had to hide, we had to pretend that we weren’t together, and it was really hard, I hated telling you that we were risking too much. I just wanted to kiss you or touch you as much as I could, I wanted to feel your fire, burning me slowly in that addicting and extraordinary way. But we could only do that in our bedroom and when you were being reckless and there was no one around us.”

He places his hand where Dean’s heart is. He feels the beating going off slowly, playing a symphony that it is about to end. And Castiel hates that a lot. He swallows with difficulty, trying to hold all the painful and heartbreaking sounds inside his throat. He breathes in a choky way before he keeps talking. “I must confess too that I could have told you from the first moment that I loved you, but I didn’t do it because I knew how hard it was to you to hear those words and how much harder it was for you to say them. And when you finally said those three words, I was more than happy. Dean Winchester told me that he loved me. Finally.” He closes his eyes and more tears appear as he smiles. “Yes, I’m so cheesy, I know.” He jokes in a painful way. It doesn’t take too much to let out some broken sobs. “Your eyes told me a long time ago that you loved me, but I needed to hear it from you and it was extraordinary.” He explains in between sobs. “It still feels extraordinary when you tell me those three words. And they were the last three words you told me and—” He breaks down and he cries more than he has been doing for these days.

Castiel fists as hard as he can Dean’s t-shirt. He buries his face in the crook of Dean’s neck, wetting it with his tears. But Castiel can’t stop, he can’t bare the pain, he has to let it out. “I love you, Dean. I love you more than anything. And I— I—” He can’t talk right now. His voice doesn’t let him, so he keeps crying for a while.

When his crying seems to be softer and his breathing seems a bit calming, Castiel keeps on talking. “Loving you is a bit complicated.” He inhales hardly, trying to not let his snots out. He looks freaking horrible right now, but he doesn’t care too much right now. “There were times when it hurt, when it felt that this was killing me softly, because I was scared of losing you. It is really selfish, I know, and I hate myself for that, for wanting you only for myself. You told me I was yours and you were mine. I didn’t want anyone else sharing what we had. I wanted you only for me. I’m so selfish, I know. I’m the worst.” He makes a choked sob again. “But I need you Dean. And I love you. And I can’t think about a life without you. That’s why sometimes I was about to fall apart and I told you to promise me to do all those things, to keep looking at me like that, to keep kissing me like that, to never stop loving me, to keep smiling like that, to keep making love to me like that… Everything with you felt so perfect, so wonderful, so extraordinary that I was terrified of losing you, of losing the best thing that ever happened to me.” He cries again in that devastated way.

Once again, when Castiel feels his voice can work properly, more or less, he keeps his speech. “You always told me that you were going to do all of that, that there was no possible way in this world to make you leave from my side, that you were going to be with me always, and that you will never stop loving me. Sometimes it felt unreal. What did I do to deserve you? I was— well I am deeply in love with you. And the feeling was so intense that it burnt to the point of painful. And knowing that you felt the same way, was unreal. I asked myself so many times, what does Dean see on me? Why is he still here with me? Why does he love me? And you answered my questions. I never asked them, but you answered them. And I guess that you asked yourself these questions and that I answered you in the same way. I guess that we are two lost broken souls that met in their worst part of their lives and we saw all our light and darkness and we put each other back together, and while we did that, we fell in love.”

“How I wish you could say how cheesy I sound.” His voice breaks and it is followed by several sobs and tears. Dean’s story is ending and Castiel doesn’t want that. There’s too much to write, too much to read, but the last page on Dean’s life is almost there and Castiel isn’t ready for that. He knew that there were risks on running away, but they were almost there, they were about to take that ship, and Jo appeared and Dean pushed Castiel away so Dean would be the one who was going to be shot.

If Dean dies, although Castiel is still alive, he will be dead too. In those six months, Dean has become a huge part in Castiel’s life. Part of Castiel will die once Dean does it. Emptiness will take over Castiel, followed by pain, loneliness, guilt and regret. He knows he will never find all those things he has found with Dean. He knows he will never be able to love again. Dean is the only one, his first and only one. He isn’t sure if he will ever be able to smile, to feel an inkling of happiness. Life won’t be the same without Dean. Every day will be a day after day, with Dean’s memory everywhere, in every small thing he will do, until one day, Castiel dies.

“You promised me that you weren’t going to leave me.” Castiel says with a desperate voice. There isn’t anger, it is more regret and guilt than rage. “You promised me you will stay with me. Don’t leave Dean, please, don’t. I need you. I love you. I— I don’t know how to live without you. You are the light of my life. Everything is darkness without you. I can’t— I don’t— Please. Dean. My love. Stay with me. Don’t abandon me. We have a lot of things to live. We have a lot of things to do. I— Please—” His voice sounds weaker and more broken the more he speaks. He is not ready for this. He still has hope, and that’s what hurts. That stupid hope. The reality is that Dean is dying, that nothing is going to happen. He is going to die. But Castiel keeps waiting for Dean to react, to open his eyes, to stay with him.

“It’s all my fault, Dean. It’s all my fault.” He cries out. “I couldn’t wait more to get into the ship and if we had waited for longer, maybe— maybe Jo wouldn’t have found us— You’d be alive now— You— Dean— It’s all my fault. I’m the reason of why you are dying.” His crying sounds more painful than ever. “I shouldn’t have said to leave in that moment. I should have waited. I— I’m so sorry.”

Castiel has thought about everything that happened since they left that hotel room until they got into the ship. He has played his memories over and over again for the last four days and he found that if he didn’t told Dean to go in that moment, it is quite possible that they wouldn’t have run into Jo, so now Dean would be alive, not dying. And that thought hurts Castiel a lot, because he knows he is the responsible of this, he is the reason of Dean’s state. Dean is going to die because of his fault.

“I don’t want to lose you Dean.” He keeps saying. His voice wants to tear up his throat and it is really painful. It feels like his voice is scratching his throat with sharp claws. And Castiel keeps crying, trying to let out all the words he needs to say to Dean, who can’t hear Castiel. “I have been wanting a life away from the Brown Lands for decades, but I don’t want it without you. I know you would like me to keep going on with my life, but I can’t— It is so hard— I don’t know how I am going to carry on without you. I’m lost without you. I die if you die. I need you. It sounds so selfish, so bad, but it is the truth. You give me strength, you give me reasons to keep living, and—” He presses his face on Dean’s collarbone and he cries again. He never expected that losing Dean was going to be this painful, he knew it was going to be fucking painful, but not as much as it is; it feels like he is dying painfully along with Dean.

“There were so many things we were going to do. So many things we have talked about.” He sighs in a hard way. He closes his eyes harder than before, as if with that the pain was going to be easier to suffer, but it isn’t. “Do you remember all the talks we had after we made love? Do you remember all those smiles you gave me? Do you remember how happy you sounded every time you told me that you loved me? Do you remember how we looked at each other when we were making love? All your smiles, all your words, all your kisses, all your laughs, all your jokes, all your touches, all your teasing, all that you did, every single thing you did, it made my heart beat faster, it made me feel such a happiness and such a huge love that you can’t describe it with words. Do you remember all of that Dean? Do you? Now it will only be memories. Now it will be all part from a past that we won’t be able to live again. There was too much life waiting for us and now— it is gone.”

“I don’t even have a photo of you. What if when I grow old I forget you? What if my memory stops working properly and I forget all of this, all we had? I don’t want to forget you, I don’t want to forget anything of what we lived together. I’ve got the ring you gave me, but—” He stares at the ring, the one Dean made out of a nut. Something as unique and special as Dean. “What if I forget all those moments? What if I can’t remember them once I grow old? I— Dean— Just— What if I forget those green eyes that could leave me breathless with just one sight? Or the galaxy of freckles across your body? Will I forget the man who show me what love is? I don’t want to forget. I don’t want a life without you, living from memories of a better time, when you were alive, when the best man in the universe was deeply in love with me and I was deeply in love with him.”

Castiel looks at Dean’s pale face. The freckles are more noticeable than usually. Castiel sighs and he closes his eyes. “I just want that life we were going to have together. Waking up next to you, with your cocky smile and kissing me, trying to keep me in bed with you. I want breakfast with you, in the kitchen or in the bed. I want to cuddle in the couch with you as you make me watch all those movies you adore. I want to hear those vinyl records you have, seeing you smile and even trying to dance with me.” His crying is a breathless one. He presses himself against Dean, trying not to leave any minimal inch. “I want to travel with you in your wonderful car. I want to sit outside in our garden and look at the stars, explaining you the stories behind every constellation, seeing your interesting and expectant eyes. I want to make love with you in our bed, until both of us are craving for air. I want to come home after work and wait for you, or seeing you already there, with that beautiful smile you always make when I appear. I want my life with you, Dean. I want all of that. We deserve it. You deserve it.”

Castiel cups Dean’s face with his hand and he feels Dean’s stubble. Castiel pouts, trying in a fail attempt to stop crying. This is too much. This is too painful. His Dean. His poor Dean. “I love you, Dean.” Castiel cries out. “I love you so fucking much.” He closes his eyes and rests his forehead on Dean’s cheek. “You always love it when I swear. Remember?” He makes a dry and hurt chuckle. “Was there anything about me that you didn’t love? You loved all about me; from the lightest spots to the darkest. And I do love you like that too. How wonderful our life together would have been. How many great things we would have done. How many happiness we would have felt. So many things, so many plans, so many stories and now, they are fading away, piece by piece as your heart keeps going lower. My love. My Dean. Nothing will be the same without you. Nothing.”

“I’m just a fool in love, aren’t I?” He says with his most heartbreaking voice. “Here I am, talking to you, hoping that you will open your eyes and all this pain will disappear.” He takes a deep breath and he looks at Dean’s eyelids. He even has freckles there. Dean and his thousands freckles. Castiel should have memorized all of them when he had a chance. “It is hard to let you go. I’m afraid I will never be over it. Never. You changed my life Dean. I lived without you for decades, and now, I can’t live a single day without you. How’s that possible? How could I fall for you this hard and this deep? I don’t regret falling in love with you. I will never regret it, because it has been the best thing that ever happened in my life. What I will always regret it’s going out of that hotel room sooner than we should, being the reason of why you are here, lying on the bed, closer to death than life, of being the responsible one of taking away our life together. Forgive me Dean, please forgive me.”

Castiel rests his head where Dean’s shoulder and neck meet. He would love to feel Dean’s safe and strong arms holding him, calming him like he has always done, giving him the safety and the comfort he needs. But Dean can’t hold him. His shaking body is tired, his eyes are swollen, his voice is a trembling and painful sound, and his face is soaked with tears.

“I know you can’t hear me. Maybe you can, I don’t know. Human brain is extraordinary and maybe, your subconscious is hearing all I’m saying. I would like to believe that. But I’m a fool in love, hoping that you, the love of my life, Dean Winchester, who is running through the path of death, will wake up.” He takes a needy breath and he closes his eyes. He tries so hard to feel Dean’s heart, but it is almost inaudible. “I just want you to know that you have been the best thing that ever happened to me and that I love you so much.”

Castiel moves away, until he is above Dean. He is sitting on his knees, with Dean’s legs in between his. He is also cupping Dean’s face. He leans and he presses a brief kiss on Dean’s lips and then, he caresses Dean’s cheeks with his thumbs. “I love you, and— just if you could—” He presses his nose against Dean’s and he lets the tears keep falling down. “Dean, if you just could fight— You have always been a fighter— Please—” He knows he is talking nonsense. Dean isn’t going to get better. Dean isn’t going to hear him. But Castiel’s hopes are there. And they won’t burn out until Dean is completely gone. “Fight. For us. Like you have always done. Stay with me. Let’s live and grow old together.” He cries as he speaks. He takes another deep breath. “You have always been a stubborn assbutt.” His lips make a painful grin. “Fight, Dean. Come back to me. I need you. I love you. Dean— Please—”

But Dean doesn’t react. Of course that he doesn’t react. Castiel holds tightly Dean’s face, almost painfully, and he cries and he cries. “Dean—” He says devastated. “Dean—” He repeats. “Dean—”

Four letters. One word. One name. Something as simple as a name, but Castiel has never said something as beautiful as that name. No name has ever had this importance for Castiel. Dean. A name with four letters. A name that belongs to the most extraordinary man. A name that belongs to a man with a huge heart. A heart that is playing his last beats. A man whose story is ending. A man that Castiel loves too fucking much. A man who is dying and all Castiel can do is cry for him.

 _Dean_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here it is:
> 
> Some of you have wondered what it is going to happen to Dean; if he was going to die, I would have tagged this fic with main character death. And it isn't. Consider this relief as your Christmas gift. Specially the ones who were suffering about Dean being like this.
> 
>  
> 
> Merry Christmas :)


	48. Red Eyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for updating a couple of hours later than I usually do, there was a SPN marathon on TV and I had to watch it, I couldn't resist.
> 
> Happy new year my wonderful readers. I hope you will all have an awesome year.
> 
> And as always, thank you for reading, for the kudos, the bookmarks, the comments and the subscriptions.

Castiel doesn’t know how and when he fell asleep. He is extremely tired, he is exhausted, he is depressed, he is sad, but he only can sleep when his eyes are too heavy that they need to rest. But he only sleeps for a couple of hours. No more. He used to sleep to run away from the pain and the problems, it used to be a great solution, but now it isn’t.

Like always, he fell asleep next to Dean. Castiel is grabbing Dean tightly, as if Dean was going to run away from him. But he isn’t going to do that. Dean is going to be gone, but not by running. Castiel closes his exhausted eyes and he presses himself to Dean’s side. If Dean wasn’t in the condition he is, he would press Castiel even closer and he would embrace him, and he would nuzzle his hair and—

He needs to stop thinking about that. It isn’t going to do any good to him. Castiel needs to be prepared for the worst. Dean’s time is running out, and he will have to face Dean’s death. The more he clings onto that hope, the more he remembers all those things from Dean, the worst it will be. But it is really hard to say goodbye to Dean. It is too dreadful.

The crying, the tears and the sobbing appear almost instantly. He holds Dean tighter in his arms and he cries for some long minutes. He is not ready. It is not fair. Dean is a good man, the best he has ever known. Why does he have to die? All those monsters, all that cruel people and Dean has to be the one dying. It’s not fair. But life has never been fair or easy, right?  
Castiel takes a needy breath and he opens his swollen red eyes. They burn. They have been burning for days. They will burn for the rest of his life. Tears will be there always, every time that he remembers Dean.

Everything was going so well and then, all fell apart. Everything fell apart and broke into million pieces. Castiel tried to put it all back together, to fix this, but he couldn’t. He tried his best, he tried so hard, but it was in vain. Jumping from that cliff with Dean had terrible consequences; especially for Dean. But Castiel doesn’t regret jumping from that cliff. He would do it again. But he would do everything right, so Dean would be safe, and not dying. If they had run a little bit faster, if they hadn’t left the hotel room so soon…

But he can’t go back in time. It is impossible. Everything they did lead them to where they are right now and Castiel wonders if this is how everything was supposed to end. No. It wasn’t ever supposed to end like this. There’s nothing like destiny. They wrote their own story, but something went wrong and now, Castiel will continue with his story. Alone. Without Dean.

Castiel doesn’t want to get up from that bed. He feels so heavy, so tired, so lifeless. It is so hard to move away from Dean. He just wants to lie aside, next to Dean, hold his almost lifeless body in between his arms, feeling for the last time what it is to feel the love of your life so close to you that he is part of you.

He is going insane. And he doesn’t care. Right now, nothing else matters. Maybe nothing will matter again. Dean will be gone and Castiel will be empty and alone, with a broken heart that won’t be able to be complete ever again. And he will have to live with that unbearable pain for the rest of his life. A life without Dean.

How many things are being taken away from Castiel as Dean’s life disappears…

It is not only Dean’s life the one that’s fading away. Castiel’s life is disappearing with Dean’s. Not at the same time, not completely, but it is as if Castiel’s life was fading away quicker than it should as Dean is dying.

There’s a strange a low grunt. Castiel opens his eyes, all red and swollen. He hears the same sound again and he rises. He looks at Dean’s body. His chest is going up and down really slow. It can’t be. He is dreaming. He is still dreaming. Castiel has never had his eyes this widely open. He is trying to accept what is happening. Castiel’s heart is beating faster and faster, as if it was trying to abandon his chest and rip out his skin to be free. There’s a strange shiver running down his spine. He looks at Dean’s body. Dean is breathing, slowly, but he is breathing. Castiel is trembling.

He moves his eyes to Dean’s face. The frown in Dean’s face is more marked. And suddenly, his eyes are squeezed. And finally, Dean opens his eyes. His too fucking green eyes.

“Cas?” Dean asks with a pasty and rough voice and looking at Castiel, who looks terrible. He rises, propping on his elbows so he is sitting on the bed.

Castiel cries and he smiles and he leans over Dean and he hugs him. “Dean—” Castiel cries as he hugs tighter Dean, who hugs him tightly too and has a confused face, but he hugs Cas anyways. Castiel buries his face in Dean’s shoulder and he fists the back of Dean’s Henley’s t-shirt and he lets all the suffering he has been through as he feels Dean, full of life.

“Cas, babe, are you okay?” Dean asks worried and confused.

“You are alive.” Castiel says in a heartbreaking but happy voice. He lets out a chuckle and he looks up, trying to hold his tears. “I’m great. You are alive.” He makes a short laugh and he holds Dean tighter. After that, he moves his head away from Dean’s shoulder and he cups Dean’s face. There’s huge smile on Castiel’s face, a pretty and relieved one. Castiel thought he was never going to smile ever again. There are tears falling down his eyes and he doesn’t fight against them. Castiel holds stronger Dean’s face, trying to make sure that this isn’t a dream, that Dean is staring at him. That Dean is alive. “Dean.” Castiel says and he kisses Dean with all the love of his heart, so needy and desperate.

When they pull away from the kiss, just leaving a few inches in between their faces, Dean speaks. “For how long have I been passed out?” He makes a confused frown.

“For almost five days.”

Dean makes an incredulous face and he opens his mouth shocked. Now he understands why Cas is crying, looking like hell and so fucking happy for seeing him. “Holy fuck.” He simply says.

“Yes, holy fuck.” Castiel smiles. Dean smiles too and he kisses Castiel. “Don’t you ever dare to do that again.” He says with a reproaching but happy voice.

“I won’t.” He smiles and kisses Cas. Then, Dean hugs him and Castiel hugs him tightly, placing his hands on Dean’s blades. He buries his face in Dean’s shoulder, and he smiles and lets the tears fall down. Dean combs Castiel’s hair softly with one hand while with he places his other hand on the small of Cas’ back. “Sorry for making you suffer.”

“I thought—” He moves away his head from Dean’s shoulder and he looks at Dean directly, trying to assimilate that Dean is awake. “How are you awake? You were pretty bad, your breathing was almost nonexistent and your heart was beating really low, you were about to die, how—?”

“I don’t know. Does it matter?” Dean says raising both of his eyebrows. Castiel makes a guilty face and he shakes his head. Then, Dean grabs Castiel’s hand and he places it on his chest, so Castiel can feel his heart beating. The beating it is a normal one, and Castiel smiles as he feels Dean’s heart. “I’m here and alive.” Dean says with his softest voice. “Sorry that you still have to put up with me.” He smirks.

“Assbutt.” He makes a funny grimace and he kisses Dean again. Castiel pulls away and he can’t stop smiling. He closes his eyes and he rests his forehead on Dean’s. “You stayed with me.” He says.

“I promised it to you, remember?” Dean cups Castiel’s face and with his thumbs, he wipes off the tears. Castiel opens his eyes, his blue eyes, too red and swollen. Cas also looks paler than usually and the circles around his eyes are too marked. “You’ve been crying for me these five days?”

“Of course!”

“You look like hell.” He says with a funny pout. Castiel rolls his eyes. “And I guess you didn’t sleep properly either.”

“I couldn’t.” He confesses looking down. “I—” But Dean interrupts him by putting his index finger on his lips.

“You are a fucking mess without me.” He teases. Castiel glares him. “But I would have been the same if you were the one dying.”

Castiel moves away Dean’s finger from his lips. “I know.” He tangles his fingers with Dean’s, looking at the motion. “I thought you wouldn’t make it.” His voice breaks a little. Dean is there, alive, breathing, talking to him, but remembering those five days, it still hurts.

“I got a hell of a surgeon.” Dean says with his cocky voice; he just wants Cas to smile as much as he can. After all he has been through.... Castiel has missed so much Dean’s jokes.

“Assbutt.” He says again smiling. He moves his eyes so they can meet Dean’s. “And you thought you weren’t going to make it.” He gives him a cautious look as he remembers the last words Dean told him, those many ‘I love you’s he said.

“Yeah. But I’m here. That’s what matters.”

“Yes. That’s what matters.” He kisses Dean softly. While they kiss, Dean’s stomach groans and Castiel pulls away from the kiss and he starts to laugh. “I’ll bring you some food.” He stands from the bed.

“Thanks. I’m gonna take a shower, I stink a little.” He says as he stands from the bed. He feels his muscles are a bit numb and atrophied, but it is normal, he hasn’t moved for almost a week. Dean stretches himself and Castiel looks at him with a cute smile. “What?” Dean asks with a guilty smile.

“You know it.”

“Yeah, but I’d really love hearing it from you.”

Castiel blushes a little and he smiles. “It’s great to see you alive.”

Dean smiles and he approaches Castiel. He gives him a passionate kiss and Castiel even moans in it. “I love you.”

“I love you.” He says happily. He thought he was never going to hear those three words again. He thought he was never going to hear Dean saying those three words.

Castiel walks away from the bedroom with a huge smile on his face. He wipes off some of the remaining tears as he walks towards the restaurant. He knows that everyone looks at him in a confused way. All the people that are in the ship only saw Castiel when he went to eat, and he was always sad, with some tears falling down his face, and now Castiel is really happy, and he doesn’t want to hide his smile. He is also considering jumping and start to pirouette. He finally can breathe properly, he feels how the depression has left him, how that heavy, suffocating and oppressive pain and fear has abandoned him. He feels so free.

It is breakfast time, so Castiel decides to pick a lot of food. He can put as much food as he wants in the tupperwares and bring them to the bedroom. He picks a lot of bacon for Dean and some pancakes, scrambled eggs, toasts, sausages, berries and a pear. People are still looking at him as if he was insane, because he is picking a lot of food. Castiel has recovered his appetite and Dean hasn’t eaten for five days. They are going to eat a lot. He picks two plastic bags with a fork, a knife and a spoon on it and he goes towards their stateroom.

When he arrives, Dean is still in the bathroom. Castiel looks at the bed, the one Dean’s been lying down for days. It is hard to believe that Dean is in the bathroom, taking a shower. Those last five days have been a nightmare and now all that suffering and all that pain is gone. Castiel is still thinking he is going to wake up from this dream and find but that Dean is still on that bed, about to die. But this is real. Maybe miracles exist. Castiel doesn’t know. He doesn’t care either. Dean is alive and that’s what matters.

Dean opens the bathroom door and the steam comes out. He is only wearing a towel around his waist. Dean is still quite pale, but not like some days ago, nevertheless, he looks as gorgeous as always. Castiel loves how Dean looks with wet hair and he loves seeing Dean without clothes. His naked chest is shining because of the hot water and he can see the sewing on Dean’s abdomen.

Dean catches Castiel’s sight and he smirks. “Missed to see me like this?” Dean teases with a sexy voice, gesturing with his hand at himself.

Castiel smiles as he bites his lower lip. Seeing Dean as full of life as he has always been, warms his heart a lot. “I missed to see you in anyway.” Castiel confesses blushing. Dean smiles and he leans to kiss Castiel, who is sitting on the edge of the bed. Then, Dean moves towards the other bed, where there’s the bag with all their clothes. Castiel opens one of the tupperwares and he asks. “Does it hurt you? The sewing?”

“It itches a little. But it doesn’t hurt.” Dean answers without taking his eyes away from the clothes.

“We should get to a hospital once we arrive to USA. That sewing needs to be taken a look, just in case.” He says with a concerned voice. Dean nods. Castiel is about to say something but Dean drops the towel down, so Castiel can see Dean’s body naked. Castiel bites his lower lip and he blushes a lot. “Are you doing this on purpose?”

Dean turns his face to see Castiel, who points with his eyes Dean’s body. Dean chuckles as he turns over. “Cas, you are used to see me naked, why are you so blushed?”

“I don’t know. I guess that I feel overdressed.” He says shyly. Dean arches one eyebrow. Castiel stands up and he walks towards Dean. When Castiel is in front of Dean, only leaving a few inches in between their bodies, Castiel’s hands start to tour Dean’s body, feeling the usual heat of it and the water from the shower. “Am I dreaming, Dean?” He asks with a fragile voice. “Is this real?” He caresses Dean’s sewing and he looks at Dean’s eyes.

“This isn’t a dream Cas. This is real.” Dean says with a serious voice as he embraces Castiel by the small of his back.

Castiel meets the green eyes. “Am I not going to wake up and find out this was a dream and that you are dying?”

Dean shakes his head. “No.”

Castiel smiles and he kisses Dean slowly. He feels Dean’s tongue darting out in his mouth and Castiel twirls his with Dean’s, making a moan as they kiss. Dean’s stomach groans again and Castiel starts to laugh hysterically by that. “You should better get dressed and eat.”

“Yeah, but I got some good distraction.” He pouts. Then, he presses a brief kiss on Castiel’s lips.

“You are distracting me too. You can’t be completely naked in front of me and expect me to stay idly.” He teases and he grabs Dean’s butt cheeks and he squeezes them.

“Cas!” Dean says chuckling. Dean grabs Castiel’s face and he kisses him passionately, in a breathtaking way, laughing in between the kiss.

“Dean—” Castiel says breathless. Now his stomach groans too and Dean arches a brow. “No, seriously, get dressed right now.” He suggests with a desperate voice and pulling away. He is hungry and Dean is it too, and if Dean says undressed for more, both of them are going to make out or have sex or whatever along the sound of their groaning stomachs. Dean laughs and he starts to get dressed as fast as he can. Castiel starts to eat the scrambled eggs. “Apart from feeling the sewing a bit itchy, how are you feeling?” He asks worried.

“A little tired.” Dean answers as he zips up his jeans. “I don’t feel as my batteries are full, y’know? I might need to eat, I guess.” He shrugs and he puts on his shirt. Then, he goes towards the other bed and he sits in front of Castiel. He looks at the amount of food with a half impressed and half happy face. “Don’t you think this is a lot of food?”

“You eat a lot. And I have eaten properly for days.”

Dean glares him. “You didn’t eat for days? Cas, that’s not good.”

Castiel rolls his eyes. “I ate once a day.” He says, but Dean’s glare keeps its intensity. “I lost my appetite, Dean. I forced myself to eat, but every time I ate a little, I just wanted to puke.” He says a bit annoyed. He picks a pancake and he starts to eat it.

Dean exhales sharply and he decides to mix some scrambled eggs with bacon. “I would kick your ass for that if you didn’t have a pretty cute one.” He teases, but his voice is too serious. He knows why Cas wasn’t eating, but he doesn’t like it. “Fuck.” Dean says with his mouth full of food. “This tastes really good.”

Castiel kicks his leg and Dean frowns. “Don’t talk with your mouth full. How many times have I told you that?”

Dean makes his cocky smile. “Not enough.”

“Assbutt.”

“You’ve been calling me assbutt today more than usually.” He sasses with an arched brow.

“Because you are my assbutt.” He smiles and he leans, waiting Dean to lean in to. Dean leans and he and Castiel kiss in a sweet way. “I love you.”

“I know you do.” Dean says as his lips pop up a pretty smile. “And I love you too.” He says. Castiel smiles and he and Dean go back to their breakfast. After a while, Dean speaks again, and this time he doesn’t do it with his mouth full of food. “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

“I’m not sure if it was a dream or not.” Dean starts to say. Castiel moves his eyes from the sausages to Dean’s eyes. Dean is making a thoughtful grimace, trying to remember. “I don’t know, but— did you talk to me while I was in that comma or whatever the hell I was?”

Castiel blinks perplexed. “What did I told you?”

“A lot.” He pouts and shrugs. “I don’t remember all, but you told me how much you loved me, the things we had to live, that I stayed with you… Things like that. And you were fucking devastated.” He says. He looks at Castiel and he can see that there are a few tears on Castiel’s face. Dean parts his lips and makes a shocked face. “Okay, it wasn’t a dream.”

“No, it wasn’t.” He says with a smile. “Sorry, I’m too sensitive today.” He says ashamed. “It was yesterday. I— I thought I wasn’t going to have any other chance to talk to you and I needed to tell you a lot of things.” He looks at Dean’s shocked but at the same time happy eyes. “You heard me.” He says confused and shocked. Dean heard his speech. “How—?”

Dean shrugs. “I don’t know Cas. You are the one who knows about these things. Your logical mind should be giving me now a scientific speech about this.” He jokes with a bright smile.

Castiel laughs and he raises his eyebrows. “I guess. I don’t know.” He shakes his head as he smiles.

“What is it?” Dean asks curious.

“These five days have been the worst days of my life and now, they seem to be so far away. You are here, in front of me, talking, laughing, joking and kissing me and—” He takes a deep breath and he smiles. “It’s fucking nuts.” He sentences laughing.

“I’m fucking nuts.” He says trying to look interesting. Castiel laughs harder and Dean joins that laughter. Dean looks at Cas with nostalgic eyes. He can’t imagine the pain he has been through these five days. But Castiel is now laughing again, his eyes aren’t as red as when Dean opened his own eyes, and they aren’t sad, there’s happiness in them and Dean loves that. Dean leans and he cups Castiel’s face and he kisses him in a passionate way, feeling Castiel’s happiness on that kiss. When they pull away, no one of them says anything. They just smile and with their eyes they speak those words they aren’t saying.

When they finish their breakfast, Castiel speaks. “Do you want to take a walk?”

Dean pouts. “Yeah, why not? But slowly, the wound smarts a little when I move.” He says standing up. Dean tangles his arm with Castiel’s before they get out of the stateroom and Castiel looks first at the arms and then, he dedicates Dean a happy smile accompanied with a light blush on his cheeks.

They take a small walk, seeing some places from the ship; it is a big ship, kind of a cruise. There are some rooms for a couple of activities, the restaurant, and on the deck there is a swimming pool, barely used because of the bad weather, a basketball court and a place to play shuffleboard.

They walk slowly, not only because of Dean’s smarting wound, but also because both of them feel quite tired. Dean isn’t fully recovered yet and Castiel hasn’t slept properly for days. But they don’t care right now, they just want to take some fresh air and walk together.

Lunch arrives soon and both of them go to the restaurant to eat. And once again they eat a lot. After that, they decide to sit on the chairs that are on the deck and they spend the whole afternoon like that, sitting next to each other, talking and relaxing, feeling the breeze of the ocean, hearing the waves hitting against the ship in a not too hard way and seizing the warmth that the sun gives through the few clouds on the sky.

Dinner comes soon too, so once again, they decide to go the restaurant, and this time, they don’t eat as much as they did during breakfast and lunch, but they eat pretty much. The food is really good and you can eat as much as you want, and both of them, especially Dean, are going to seize it.

Once they have finished their suppers, Dean decides to go to the deck again and see the stars and the sea, something that Castiel agrees to do, so both of them go to the deck. It is already dark, so the temperature has increased a bit, but both of them are wearing warm clothes, so they don’t mind.

Dean is leaning both of his arms on the balcony. Castiel has both of his arms embracing one of Dean’s arms and he is resting his chin on Dean’s shoulder. Dean chuckles and he says. “You know I’m not gonna go anywhere, right Cas?”

Castiel chuckles in his usual shy way. “I know. I can release you if you want to.” He teases with an innocent voice. But Dean can detect a bit of sassiness.

“Don’t you dare.” He says turning his face so he can kiss Castiel. Then, he places his hand on the small of Castiel’s back. “Tomorrow we will arrive to New York.” Dean murmurs.

“Tomorrow. Finally.” He says relieved.

“It’s been an agitated journey, hasn’t it?” Dean says as he makes soothing circles on Cas’ small back. Castiel nods and he closes his eyes. He also tightens his grip on Dean’s arm. “But we made it Cas, we fucking made it.”

Castiel kisses Dean’s shoulder. “How long does it take from New York to Sioux Falls?”

“On bus? About a day.” He answers. Castiel looks at him shocked and Dean chuckles. “Oh Cas, USA is too fucking big. We could get into a plane but—”

“You are scared of them.” He finishes.

“I didn’t say I’m scared, I said I’m not a huge fan.” He says nervous. When he meets Castiel’s eyes, his boyfriend is giving him a bitch face, with all the sassiness inside Castiel and one of his eyebrows is arched. Dean licks his lips and he clenches his jaw. “Fine, I’m a bit scared of flying, but not too much.”

“Dean Winchester, the most badass and reckless person in the world is afraid of flying.” He sasses with a huge smirk on his face.

Dean, of course glares him. “Shut your face.”

Castiel laughs brightly and he kisses Dean. “Don’t worry; you’ll always be a badass to me.” He says with a pretty smile. Dean can’t fight off his smile. “My badass assbutt.” He laughs.

Dean rolls his eyes before he glares at his boyfriend. “You missed teasing me right? Were you all the time I was passed out thinking about how you could tease me or what?”

“Of course not!” He says offended, something that makes Dean to chuckle. Castiel punches his arm softly.

“Hey! My batteries aren’t full charged yet you ass!” He pulls away and pretends to be annoyed and hurt.

“Then, let me charge them.” And he cups Dean’s face and he kisses him passionately. Dean draws Castiel closer, until there isn’t any space left in between and he fists the back of Cas’ hoodie in a desperate way. How much Dean loves that man.

When they pull away, Dean makes a pout. “I think I still need another one.” He whispers into Castiel’s mouth.

“Just one?” He says smiling.

Dean bites his lower lip and he looks at Castiel’s lips. “Yeah, you are right. I need two or three… Or ten.” He laughs before kissing Castiel in a breathtaking way, making Cas to moan and to run desperate his fingers through Dean’s hair. He is still trying to make sure that this is real, that this isn’t a dream. The more time passes, the more convinced he is that this is real.

After several kisses on the deck, in the dark, only illuminated by the colorful lights hanging on the walls, they decide to go to their bedroom and sleep. Both of them need it, Castiel more than Dean.

They get in the bed, the one Dean has been lying down. Castiel snuggles himself on Dean, tangling their legs, embracing Dean tightly by his waist and burying his face in the crook of Dean’s neck. Dean laughs because Cas is so cuddly tonight, he has always been cuddly, but tonight he is cuddlier than ever. Dean pushes Castiel closer to him and he embraces him tightly and he buries his cheek in the dark mess of Castiel’s hair.

“Don’t you dare to fall asleep and not to wake up ever.” Castiel says with a warning voice as he nuzzles Dean’s skin.

“Okay.” Dean laughs. “G’night Cas.”

“Goodnight Dean. I love you.” He says smiling.

“I love you.”

Castiel has missed this. Sleeping with Dean, feeling his chest move with every breath he takes, feeling that wonderful and addicting heat of his, smelling the overwhelming scent of Dean and feeling safe and cared in Dean’s arms. He hasn’t done this for five nights and he missed it a lot. He almost forgot how actually good this was.

Both of them fall asleep with a smile drawn on their lips.

The couple doesn’t wake up until ten o’clock in the morning. They have to run towards the restaurant if they want to have breakfast because then, the restaurant closes and it doesn’t open until one o’clock. Luckily and exhaustedly, they arrive on time and they can eat. Then, they go back to their stateroom and they take a shower together, spending a lot of time under the hot falling water kissing, touching and jerking each other off, doing it in a sweet and delicate way. Once they have taken their shower, they start to look into the bag and make sure everything is where it has to be and that nothing is missing.

They go outside and they walk to the same place they were last night, to the balcony. New York can be seen already and Castiel’s eyes get glassy because they are about to arrive. They have left the Brown Lands far behind and they are free. They finally made it.

Dean grabs Castiel’s hand and he squeezes it. Castiel turns his face and he sees Dean is smiling. They don’t say anything. Castiel smiles and he kisses Dean. Then, they keep staring at New York and how they are getting closer and closer as the ship keeps sailing.

After some minutes, the ship stops and docks. Dean looks at Castiel with a hopeful sight. “Ready?” Dean asks.

Castiel nods. “Ready.”

They get off the ship with the rest of the people and both of them look around, trying to accept that they are finally there, in USA, that after that long, exhausting and painful long journey in the Brown Lands has come to its ending and they are finally where they have wanted to be for so long.

“The Brown Lands are too fucking far, Cas.” Dean says. He knows what Castiel is thinking, that someway, somehow, someday, the Brown Lands will come for them. Dean places his arm around Castiel’s shoulders and he presses him against his body in a soothing way. “We are safe now, Cas.” He kisses Cas’ temple.

“Yes, we are.” Castiel says looking at Dean. He makes a relieved smile.

“I almost forgot it.” He pulls away his arm from Cas, who makes a confused face with a frown and Dean places his hand on the white collar and he opens it. “We aren’t gonna need this ever again.” He says showing the collar.

Castiel does the same and he takes off his white collar as well. All his life he has been wearing a collar, first white, then black, then white again… He has been so used to feel that pressure around his neck, showing who he was, limiting him, that now that it is off, he feels a heartwarming feeling mixed with freedom.

Dean is looking at Castiel with curious eyes. Castiel is looking at the collar with a smirk. Then, he looks at Dean and he gives him a mysterious smile. He grabs Dean’s hand and they walk towards the edge of the pier. Castiel throws the collar into the sea and Dean makes a huge happy smile and he mirrors Castiel’s act, throwing that fucking stupid collar further than Castiel.

Dean kisses him in a sweet way and then he speaks. “C’mon, we have a lot to do.” He says sounding too fucking happy and squeezing Castiel’s hand. And Castiel squeezes back Dean’s hand as he smiles happier and more hopeful than ever.


	49. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the last chapter. It's been a long joruney, but it has to end.

Castiel opens his eyes with the sound of the bedroom door being opened. He has been in this house for four months but sometimes, when he opens his eyes, he kind of forgets that he is where he is. He has spent his last nine years in the same bedroom that it is hard to remember that he isn’t any longer in there, that he is in Dean’s and his house in Sioux Falls. The first month, Castiel found it hard to remember that he wasn’t in the Harvelle’s mansion, in that terrible bedroom, but now, it only happens to him once in a while. Soon, he will wake up and he won’t have any trouble to know that he is in this wonderful house.

Those last four months have been quite busy for Dean and Castiel. The moment they got in USA, the first thing they did was to ask for Castiel’s nationality. It took a lot of paperwork to do once they arrived to Sioux Falls, but finally, Castiel got his citizenship and he is now a citizen from United States.

When they were still in New York, they went to a hospital so they could heal Dean properly. Apparently, Castiel did a great job and Dean cicatrized too well, the only thing left to do was to remove the thread and disinfect a little the wound. Dean was perfect.

They slept that day in New York and next day, they took a bus that went directly to Sioux Falls. It was a long journey, but after all they had lived in the Brown Lands, this bus journey was nothing. Just tiring, but nothing else.

The first thing they did when they arrived to Sioux Falls was to visit Bobby. When Bobby opened the door and he saw Dean, he threw into Dean’s arms and hugged him tightly and he even cried a little. Bobby was waiting for the day when somebody sent Dean’s corpse. He was sure that Dean was dead, but he still had some hope and Dean’s call make those hopes rise, but he still feared that something happened in the journey. Dean cried a bit too as they hugged.

Bobby invited them to come inside his house and Dean and Castiel told him everything they had been through. Bobby listened to everything carefully, paying a lot of attention to both of them. After that, Bobby started to ask Castiel some questions about Dean and their relationship. Dean was blushing all the time and telling Bobby to stop those questions. Castiel didn’t blush and he passed Bobby’s test and Bobby told him that if Dean was so in love with him, it was because Cas must be a great guy. Also he said ‘welcome to the family.’ Castiel felt more than great with those words.

Once they were done at Bobby’s, they went to Dean’s, and Castiel’s, house. Castiel fell in love at first sight with the house. It wasn’t too big, but it was big enough for two people. It was in good conditions because Bobby had been taking care of the house since Dean disappeared. He used to clean it once a week and he cut off the lawn as often as he could, hoping that Dean might return one day. Anyway, Castiel found it perfect. When he got into the house he looked at every room and they were even better than Dean’s descriptions. Dean looked at him laughing and looking at Cas with his eyes full of happiness. They had to go to the supermarket after Castiel’s tour to buy food and everything they needed and Castiel finally rode in Dean’s baby, the 1967 Chevrolet Impala, and he must admit that he fell in love with the car. It was pure Dean.

Castiel also tasted Dean’s food that day, during lunch and dinner and he told Dean he was going to get really fat if Dean kept cooking like that. Dean laughed so hard with that. That night, they made love for the first time in their home, in their king size bed and they whispered a ‘welcome home’ to each other after that wonderful night.

Dean started to get back to his job the next week. They still had the money they stole from Jo, which in dollars are about 50.000$. But they decided to save that money for a journey this summer and for anything they will need in the future, just in case.

As Dean worked, Castiel was busy with all the paperwork for his citizenship. Once he got it, he told Dean that he wanted to be a teacher; Dean smiled really widely and he was so happy to hear that his boyfriend wanted to be a teacher. So Castiel had to make an exam to get a place to teach in a high school, and of course, Castiel made it. Now he is a biology teacher. Dean kissed him and hugged him and twirled him when Castiel told him the good news.

Also, both of them had been working on the backyard garden. Castiel is the expert but Dean helped him as much as he could and followed Castiel’s instructions. Now their garden looks great with a lot of trees, a few hedges and some flowers on it.

And that’s how these four months have been for them. A bit busy, but too happy. And they still have a lot of more happy months and years to live.

Dean gets in the bedroom and Castiel rubs his eyes. Dean is holding a tray with breakfast and when Castiel sees it, he smiles. It isn’t the first time Dean has done this, but Castiel always smiles when Dean comes to their bedroom with breakfast.

“Have you just waken up, Cas?” Dean says with a teasing voice and with his bare foot, he pushes the door so it closes.

“Yes.” Castiel confesses. He rises up to sit down and the sheet falls down, showing some of the dark curly hair that starts to grow on his crotch. Dean loves seeing Cas this homelike and natural. “Why are you wearing boxers?” He frowns confused.

“Because I was cooking, babe, and I love my cock and my balls, and I know you do too, and I don’t want them to get burn while I cook.” He says with a teasing voice. Castiel rolls his eyes and he smiles. “Just hold this.” He says offering the big tray to Cas, who holds it. Dean takes off his boxers as Castiel looks at him with expectant eyes. “Better?” He says with a sarcastic face.

“Much better.” He can’t help making a bigger smile.

Dean laughs and he gets in bed. Castiel places the tray above both of them, resting the tray’s legs on the mattress. “Here.” Dean says so Castiel can turn his face. Dean kisses Castiel in his usual sweet way. “Good morning.”

“Good morning.” Castiel says too with a huge shy smile. “I was about to ask for it.”

“I know. I was wondering how long it would take you.” Dean laughs.

Castiel looks at the tray. There is a lot of food. “Wow.” He says impressed. “How early did you wake up to do all of this?”

“Not so much. Just thirty minutes before usually.”

“Who are you, and what have you done with my boyfriend Dean Winchester?” Castiel says extremely serious. Dean laughs and he kisses Castiel in a passionate way as he places his hand on Cas’ nape. “Since when do you wake up early on a Saturday to make breakfast?”

“Since I’ve got a plan in my mind.” He says with a cocky smile.

Castiel gives him an oddly look. “What have you thought about?” He says confused.

“Remember when we said that it would be awesome if we could spend the whole day in bed making out and fucking?” Dean’s grin gets brighter and bigger as he speaks and his sight gets naughtier. Castiel arches an eyebrow suggestively. “Well, we don’t work today, we don’t have to work tomorrow, so…”

Castiel chuckles. “I like the idea.” He says kissing Dean briefly but in a too fucking sweet way. “But what about the huge breakfast?”

“We are gonna need a lot of food to last the whole damn day.” Dean says trying to put an interesting face. Castiel always smiles with that. “We have cereals with milk, scrambled eggs, because you love them, bacon, because both of us love bacon, some pancakes and a bowl of berries because you are always telling me the importance of eating fruit and because after all those other things, we will need something healthy and light.” He explains with a voice that would belong to a scientist.

“Do you think that after eating all of this we will have strengths to make love?” He asks with one arched brow as he starts to eat cereals.

“Damn straight.”

“You are insane.” He says laughing.

“But you love me.” He says kissing Castiel’s shoulder.

“Of course that I love you.”

Dean makes a lovely smile. “And I love you too.” He kisses Castiel’s cheek and he starts to eat the bacon.

Castiel lets out a soft moan when he eats the pancake and Dean can’t fight off his smile. He loves that Cas loves his food. “Dean, seriously.” Castiel starts to say after swallowing. “You need to stop cooking this good.”

Dean laughs. “I love seeing how much you enjoy the food I make.”

“This should be forbidden or something.” He keeps eating the pancake and he lets out another sweet moan and Dean laughs again as he keeps eating. “You should be forbidden or something.”

“Yeah?” He teases. Then, he starts to kiss Castiel’s neck softly, but soon, he starts to suck Castiel’s neck, right where he left a hickey last night.

Castiel closes his eyes and he starts to breathe heavily, letting out a gasp. “I thought you said we were going to eat first and then we will do this.” He feels Dean’s cocky smile against his skin as he talks. Castiel moans and then, after some seconds, Dean pulls away.

“Sorry, you are so tempting.” Dean says nuzzling Castiel’s jaw. Castiel turns and he cups Dean’s face so they can kiss properly. The taste of breakfast is strong in the kiss and they really like it. Dean bites Castiel’s lower lip while they kiss and he licks it before they pull away.

“You should keep your hickeys above the collarbone. My students always give me weird looks when they see my neck full of your hickeys.” He says a bit serious.

“Do you think that’s gonna stop me?” He teases with an arched brow. Castiel makes a grimace and Dean smirks. “I go to the garage with all your hickeys and I don’t care. Actually, I like it.” He starts to eat his pancake and he speaks again, with his mouth full, because he knows how much Cas hates it and Cas is so cute when he is a bit angry. “I couldn’t kiss your neck properly because of that collar you—” But Castiel squeezes his cheeks and glares him, stopping his talk.

“Don’t talk with your mouth full.” He says in an arousing angry way.

Dean swallows and Castiel’s moves away his hand. “Of that collar you were wearing.” Dean keeps saying. “Your neck is so fucking kissable and I love the sounds you make when I kiss it, suck it and lick it.”

Castiel blushes a little bit and he looks down at his breakfast. “Assbutt.”

Dean chuckles and he keeps eating his breakfast. He really loves this. Being in bed with Cas, having breakfast, talking with him, being happy. All they have been through, all those hard moments they went through don’t matter right now. This is what matters, that they are together, that they don’t have to hide, that they are free, that they have everything they want and they are so fucking happy and in love.

Castiel catches Dean’s lovely sight. “What?” Castiel asks with his usual tilt of head.

Dean doesn’t say a word. He just smiles and he leans over to kiss Cas in a sweet an lovely way. When Dean pulls away, Castiel still has his confused look, the one Dean finds extremely cute and adorable. “I was thinking how fucking happy I’m with you.”

The blush in Castiel’s cheeks appears quickly, but Castiel doesn’t look shy or anything. He just smiles in an adorable way. “That was so cheesy.” He chuckles. Dean squeezes his nose. “But I loved it.” He presses a brief kiss on Dean’s lips.

They keep eating their breakfast. The only thing left are the berries. There are raspberries, strawberries, cranberries and blackberries. Castiel decides to give Dean one by one and Dean moves his mouth to the berry Castiel is holding and then, he licks Castiel’s fingers, without taking his eyes of Castiel’s. He sucks them fondly, giving to each finger the attention it deserves with his tongue, making Cas to moan slightly as he feels Dean’s tongue tracing his fingers. It goes like that with every berry Castiel gives to Dean. After eating all the berries, Castiel kisses Dean in a dirty way and both of them taste the strong flavors of the berries in their mouths.

“I should bring the tray back to the kitchen or we would make a mess in the bed.” Dean suggests.

“Yes. Hurry up.” Castiel says patting Dean’s back.

Dean laughs. “You are so fucking bossy sometimes, y’know?” He picks the tray and he walks out of the room to the kitchen as fast as he can. He is back in less than a minute. He closes the bedroom door and he jumps into the bed and he starts kissing Cas. “How you wanna do the first round?”

“I want to be on top. I want to fuck you.” He answers with that too fucking arousing voice that Dean thinks it should be forbidden.

“All right.” Dean smirks and he lies down on the bed. Castiel moves until he is above Dean. “I’m all yours.”

Castiel kisses Dean, darting his tongue inside Dean, feeling how the freckled man runs his fingers desperate through the dark messy hair and how his throat starts to do those wonderful sounds and moans because of Castiel. The kiss is a breathless one, so when they pull away, both of them are craving for air. They look at each other. The sun is leaking though the curtains, painting their bodies with the sunlight, and both of them look too fucking gorgeous with that light. Even their eyes are more beautiful than usually. Castiel feels Dean’s scent, that overwhelming smell and he leans again to kiss Dean in that breathtaking way.

Soon, Castiel’s mouth starts to move down Dean’s mouth. He kisses Dean’s jaw, feeling the stubble, tickling Dean, who makes happy noises and Castiel smiles, because Dean looks so cute right now. His mouth keeps tracing him down and it arrives to the wonderful skin of Dean’s neck. Castiel starts to kiss that neck, tasting the salty freckled skin. He sucks the hickeys he made last night and Dean moans and he digs his nails in Castiel’s scalp as he whole body curves.

“Fuck, Cas—” Dean moans.

After the neck, Castiel kisses Dean’s collarbone and his hands trace down Dean’s sides, feeling the muscles under the skin, the soft and hard curves of Dean’s body. Later, his mouth goes to Dean’s nipple and he sucks and licks in a hard way, just the way Dean likes. The sounds Dean makes are wonderful and Castiel can feel how Dean’s breathing isn’t regular anymore; it is shaky and hard. Dean even pushes Castiel down a little bit more because he loves how Castiel’s tongue works on his nipple.

“Cas—” Dean mumbles. “Cas—”

When the nipple is hard and really red, Castiel pinches the other one and Dean bites his lip and he looks at Castiel’s eyes. Their pupils are blown up and the colorful irises are only a thin circle. Castiel keeps stoking the nipple and his other hands keeps moving down and up on Dean’s side and chest. He feels the small scar of the bullet wound and he strokes it with his thumb. Dean moans when Castiel pinches his nipple a little bit harder and Dean grabs Castiel’s face and he kisses him desperate. He only pulls away when Castiel’s hand squeezes his butt cheek.

But Castiel kisses Dean again, feeling Dean’s wonderful tongue in his mouth, twisting with his. Dean starts rocking his hips, rubbing his erection against Castiel’s, telling Cas that he wants more, that he needs more. So Castiel pulls away and he starts to kiss Dean’s tummy, a place where Dean is extremely ticklish. Dean shakes his body a little, but Castiel holds him in place. Giggles mixed with moans are the sounds coming out of Dean’s mouth.

“I like your tummy.” Castiel confesses in between kisses.

“I’ve noticed.” Dean says giggling.

Castiel’s mouth keeps going down. He decides to suck Dean’s balls, massaging them slowly with his mouth and tongue. Dean moans louder this time and he fists the sheets with one hand and with the other, he digs his nails in Castiel’s scalp. Castiel, after sucking Dean’s balls, starts to suck Dean’s cock. He likes teasing Dean, seeing how he reacts with everything Castiel does. He takes all Dean’s cock in his mouth, feeling the wonderful taste of it as he places his hands on Dean’s hipbones, holding his boyfriend in place.

“Cas— Holy fuck—” Dean moans breathless. He presses his head down on the pillow. He closes his eyes and parts his lips, gasping, feeling how Castiel works on his cock in that wonderful way, feeling how his tongue and mouth play with his cock. “Cas— babe—” Dean starts to say. Castiel sucks harder and Dean’s body arches, even his toes curl. The sound Dean makes is almost embarrassing, but Cas is too good. “Cas— I’m gonna lose it all if you keep blowing me like this—” He says desperate.

Dean feels the smile the bastard of his boyfriend makes on his cock. Dean knows that Castiel likes seeing him like this and he tries to push him down the cliff sooner than it should in a teasing way. Castiel works his mouth on Dean a couple of times more and then he pulls his mouth away from Dean’s cock. He climbs Dean’s body and he kisses him.

Castiel starts to move his hand towards the drawer of the bedside table, where they keep the lube. He tries to catch it without looking, as he kisses Dean, but he doesn’t find it, so he has to pull away from Dean’s mouth and he looks at the drawer. Dean, meanwhile, decides to kiss Castiel’s neck, making it harder for Castiel to grab the lube. But he doesn’t complain. He loves the way Dean kisses his neck.

After a few attempts, all of them missed because Dean started to suck Castiel’s neck, Castiel finally grabs the lube. He squirts the bottle and the jelly falls down on his palm. He spreads it quickly on his hands and then on his cock, and Dean looks at him when he does this last thing with hungry eyes. Castiel smirks and then he leans over Dean to kiss him.

The first finger comes in easy and Dean rocks his hips asking for more. Castiel smirks and he presses another finger inside Dean, who moans a little. Dean fucks into the fingers, with eyes locked on Castiel’s; they love to see each other while they are doing this. Castiel’s fingers get further and they touch Dean’s prostate, and Dean moans harder. A third finger joins those two and Castiel repeats the motion again. Finally the fourth gets in and Castiel scissors them, opening Dean up more.

“Cas, I’m ready— Fuck me now— I need you inside me now— C’mon, love.” Dean says desperate. He isn’t going to last too much; his cock is starting to itch a little, needing to come soon, but he wants to hold on, because he wants to feel Cas inside him, pushing him down the cliff, drawing him into that wonderful madness.

“Okay love.” Castiel says breathless. He kisses Dean briefly as he gets his fingers out of Dean.

Castiel cleans his hand quickly and he places both of his hands on Dean’s shoulders. Dean embraces with his legs Cas’ waist, leaving more room for Cas. They kiss again shortly and Castiel starts to get his cock inside Dean, who bites his lower lip and he holds his breath until he feels that Cas is fully settled inside of him. Then, Dean breathes and moans. He digs his nails on Castiel’s blades and he rocks his hips. And then, Castiel starts to fuck him with sweet thrusts.

Dean moans and his lips turn into a smile. He closes his eyes for a moment but he opens them the moments he can. He sees Castiel, as fucking beautiful as always, looking at Dean as he was the whole fucking universe. They feel their shaking and hot breaths. Dean moans louder when Castiel’s cock touches that wonderful spot and he holds himself on Castiel harder. He loves being like this, not knowing where his body ends and where Castiel’s starts. He loves how Castiel starts with slow and sweet thrusts that soon become harder, but they keep being sweet. He loves the way they look at each other.

“Dean—” Castiel moans when Dean clenches around his cock. “You are so tight.” He breathes out pressing his forehead on Dean’s.

Dean moves his hands from Castiel’s blade to Castiel’s head and he cups it. “Cas— Cas—” Dean moans in a desperate way. He closes his eyes at the same time Castiel does it. Castiel’s cock touches that wonderful spot again and Dean’s whole body shakes and his mouth lets out an extremely loud moan. He wants to come so bad, but he wants to feel that wonderful sensation again.

“I love you, Dean.” Castiel says needy and desperate as his thrusts are being quicker and harder. “I love you. I love you.”

“I love you too Cas.” Dean mumbles in a moan.

“Come for me Dean.” Castiel says rocking his hips in a needy way, colliding with Dean’s. He has his eyes half closed, like Dean, and he can see through his lashes Dean’s face. Castiel fucks into Dean harder than before, hitting again that wonderful spot and Dean comes and he orgasms, saying Cas’ name really loud. Castiel comes seconds after Dean, not as loud as Dean, but pretty loud too.

Castiel is trembling. He lets all the weight of his body to rest above Dean, who unconsciously holds Castiel. Both of them are in the heat of coming, unsure about how they are breathing. They can feel the heat their bodies are releasing, the sweat on their bodies, their heavy breathings and the shaky beating of their hearts.

When both of them seem to be back from the rapt moment, they open their eyes and they make a big smile that it is followed by a passionate lazy kiss. Castiel is about to get out of Dean, but Dean stops him.

“Can you— can you stay inside me for longer?” Dean asks shyly, a small flush appearing on his cheeks. “I like having you inside me.”

Castiel nods and he kisses Dean sweetly. “I can.” Then, he rests his head under Dean’s chin and he starts to caress one of Dean’s sides.

Dean, meanwhile is combing lazily the mess of Castiel’s hair with one hand and with the other he is stroking the sweaty back. “Thanks.” He says. “I feel good when we are joined.”

“Me too.” He presses a kiss on Dean’s hot skin. He exhales sharply and he presses himself closer to Dean. “You are so tight and warm.” He murmurs shyly.

Dean lets out a bright laugh that Castiel can feel above his body. “You are it too.” He presses a kiss on Castiel’s head.

There’s a silence. They only sounds come from their quiet breathings and the birds singing outside. The sunlight keeps leaking though the curtains, lighting up everything and warming up the bedroom softly. Castiel is still inside Dean; he wants to be inside Dean as much as he can. As long as they don’t move, both of them can hold on for more.

“You aren’t gonna go back to sleep, aren’t you?” Dean asks with a sweet voice.

“No. You know that now I don’t fall asleep after coming.” Castiel explains as he nuzzles Dean’s collarbone. “But I feel too relaxed and good after making love with you that I don’t want to move.” He confesses. Dean tightens his grip on Cas and he smiles. “Dean, I hate to do it but—”

“Don’t worry, Cas. I know.” Dean says careless. He knows that Cas needs to get out of him. Dean grunts a little, but at least they were joined for longer than usually, and it was really good. Dean kisses Cas in a lovely way and Castiel smiles. Dean will never get tired of feeling that smile against his skin or while they kiss; it feels too fucking awesome. “I love you too fucking much.” Dean says happily.

The smile Castiel makes is genuine, beautiful and full of happiness. “I love you too fucking much too.”

Dean laughs. “Love it when you swear.” He says before kissing Cas.

“You love me in every possible way.”

“I’d be insane if I didn’t.” Dean says cockily. Castiel giggles and Dean has to feel that happiness on a kiss. “And you love me in every possible way too.”

“Don’t ever doubt about it.” He smiles and he kisses Dean.

“How about we do round two now? This time I’m on top.” He suggests.

“That sounds great.”

Dean rolls both of them and he kisses Castiel passionately. Castiel searches Dean’s hands with his and they tangle their fingers together. They look at each other with big and bright smiles and then, they keep kissing.

They couldn’t be happier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank everyone who has read this fic; it doesn't matter if you started to read since I posted the first chapter or if you joined this story much later than that. Thank you for just reading and being until the very end.
> 
> And thank you for every kudo, every comment, every bookmark and every subscription, you all made my day with all of that and seeing that I got a new hit.
> 
> Just thank you, to all of you :)


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